Latest / The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast / GO WHERE YOU CAN GROW 🪴💹Your Environment Is Either Feeding Your Future or Starving It.😩

Transcript

GO WHERE YOU CAN GROW 🪴💹Your Environment Is Either Feeding Your Future or Starving It.😩 · The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast

• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Athena Renee, and this is where the underdogs, misfits, and black sheep come to turn pain into power so that they can build a life by design and leave a legacy behind.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if this is your first time tapping in, welcome home, family.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Pull up a chair.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you're here.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're back again, welcome back.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's good to see you again.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for trusting me with your time.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't take that lightly.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's do this quick vibe chat.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're easily offended, sensitive, entitled, still waiting on somebody to come save you, or you're allergic to accountability, get your ass up out of here.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: This ain't your safe space.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Tap out now.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're ready to think bigger, move smarter, and you refuse, you refuse to live beneath your potential.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Stay locked in, my friend.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because by the end, you're walking away with something that you can execute immediately.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now look, on the last briefing, we talked about auditing your circle.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: We learned that not everybody gotta, they don't deserve the same level of access.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that some people, you don't necessarily gotta cut them off, but they need to be repositioned.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode, though, we're taking that lesson one step further.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you audit your circle, it's time to audit the environment surrounding your future.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So check this out.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: In season two of the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast, we're using the Black Sheep Operating System, OAE, and that stands for observe, analyze, and execute on everything we're doing.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Today, what we're going to be talking about, it falls under execution because growth eventually requires movement, okay?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And without examining the environment you're trying to grow in, it's like you really have to think about that, right?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be willing to audit the environment that you're trying to grow in.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because a seed can be healthy.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Think about a seed.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: A seed can be healthy, the potential can be there.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: But if the soil is depleted, if there is no light, no room, that good seed can sit there the whole time question itself when the real problem is where it's planted.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: It has nothing to do with you as a seed or the seed of the plant.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And some of what you have been doing, it's the same thing.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we ask ourselves, what's wrong with me?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like, why am I like, what is going on?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, especially as a black sheep, we really are our own worst critics, right?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we just trying to make sure everything is as tight as we can get it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong, we'll try to do what we can with what we have, but we are always very critical of ourselves.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes we're sitting there like, what did I do wrong?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: What did I do wrong?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guess what?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you didn't do nothing wrong.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've simply outgrown the soil, you've simply outgrown the environment.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why today's episode is called Go or You Can Grow.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because your environment is either feeding your future or starving it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's unpack it.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you understand these three ideas that I'm about to give you, you will never look at your environment again.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: The same again, okay?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Idea number one sometimes growth requires new soil.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes growth means staying planted, right?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you need to just stay planted where you at and build your foundation.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know, if you're moving around too much, sometimes you don't have that foundation you need.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes you need to stay planted and build roots and become stronger where you are.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: We sometimes call this prospering where you're planted.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: But on other times, growth requires uprooting.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've ever watched somebody repot a plant, you know it does not look like the most peaceful, graceful thing that you've ever seen.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: The plant gets pulled from the soil, the roots are exposed, old dirt is shaken loose, dead roots may have to be removed.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Then the plant is placed somewhere new with more space, most times in a bigger pot, right?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: With better soil, better access to light.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, from the plant's perspective, it probably feels like disruption, but from the gardener's perspective, it's preparation.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: The plant isn't being punished, it's being repositioned and prepared for more growth.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Black sheep family.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes your life feels uncomfortable because you've outgrown the container.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: You keep trying to stretch inside a space that was built for the older version of you.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: That could be your job, some of the people you're hanging out with, just your environment in general.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: You keep trying to become more confident around people that want to keep you small.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You thinking bigger, but you got people around you that have small mindsets.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And at some point, you have to stop calling repositioning failure.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the job is too small.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the city has no opportunities for the direction you're moving in.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the relationships they only work when you are shrinking yourself, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: The rooms you survived in, sometimes that's not the room where you're going to flourish at.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't mean you have to pack up tonight.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: It means you have to stop pretending that the current soil that you're in, the current spot, environment, place that you're in right now, put it where it fits.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to start pretending that that is enough and stop blaming everything on yourself because you're doing everything you can do.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're getting up early, you staying up late, you got a plan.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: You consistent, you focus, you've cut out the noise, you're doing the best you can do with what you have.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes you got to start looking at the environment.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So check this out.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now I understand somebody listens to me, and they're probably saying, Look, man, I just can't pick up and move right now.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I need the job, I need this apartment I got, I need everything.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your car is reliable, right?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You got family responsibilities and you live in the neighborhood, maybe with limited opportunities, right?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're working somewhere right now and you just tight, your budget tight.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I get it, it's tight for a lot of us.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: But never forget, your strongest weapon is your mind.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because one thing about it, you may not be able to physically relocate your body today, but you can start relocating the way you think.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can change what enters your ears, you can change what you listen to.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: You ain't gotta listen to small time, small minds.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Get online and listen to some people with big ideas.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to you can go to an Elon Musk video and listen to how he talked before he did what he was doing.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You can go right to the video when he was crying on TV when um Neil Armstrong and the other guy that went to the moon, quote unquote, when they said they went to the moon, and well, that yeah, those guys and and Elon Musk really looked up to him and they crapped on his dream.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: They said, No, you shouldn't do that.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't believe in it, and he cried about it.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can go right back to that video right there and still hear how he talked about having a big idea, even though people don't believe in him.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So don't settle for being around people that's talking small.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, change what your eyes see, your eye gate.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Stop looking at stuff all about small thinking, or it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you an example for me.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: If I grew up poor, why do I want to be online looking at little shabby houses?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can pull out a picture of where I'm from and look at an old shabby house.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you start looking online, look at beautiful things, big homes, big cars, things that you want.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it don't have to be some huge mansion or some big estate, it's what you want, it's about you designing you and your life.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Put your eyes on something else because what you focus on it beholds you, it becomes you.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like when they tell you if you want to do a better job, you start dressing like the job you want.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, obviously, let's say, for instance, if you uh if you worked in the city sanitation, the trash folks, right?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, and you're making decent money, you like, but you know what?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do this my whole life.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's good money for me, but I don't want this, right?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, guess what you do?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna wear a suit because you're doing sanitation, but when you do have your sanitation uniform on, it's gonna be real clean, you're gonna smell good, you're gonna look real neat.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you're gonna still look, you're gonna look the upper echelon of whatever parts you're playing right now.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can level up your clothes, do it.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, looking good, smelling good.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: People always talk about uh don't judge a book by its cover.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, people gonna do it all the time.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is what it is.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, you need to dress like where you're going.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: People gonna always judge, forget them.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: It ain't even for them, it's for you.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because one thing about it, when you look better, you feel better.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: You don't care what people are saying, you know why?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because they notice you.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: See, if they don't notice you, it's a problem.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: They notice you, they notice you because of your light, and you're gonna double pack it up.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna put a second layer on, you're gonna double it up with what you got on with how you carry yourself.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can have 50 cents in your pocket when you know how to be clean and carry yourself like hey, I'm not who I am today, it's a difference, okay?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Change what you study, change what you look at, like even some of the shows and things that you watch in your free time.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, everybody has you know, everybody is you know have the freedom to watch whatever they want to watch.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: But if you find yourself looking at things that do not give you good positive feelings and energy, something is wrong.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I even say it to myself, I'm gonna give you an example.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I love helping people, and um, a lot of you may or may not know, but I come from an area that has been just riddled with a lot of gang violence and just all kind of riff raff, okay?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so sometimes you hop online and it's like, man, you see kids, they're just getting caught up in the same things, right?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you get sad when you hear about how someone 11 years old and 12 years old they got up out of here just being involved, and just you guess what though?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control everything.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, but number two, if you want to make a change, listening to depressing videos is not gonna help you.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: You need something that will lift you up and say, you know what, let me go do what I need to do to change that.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because you looking at the video crying is not gonna help nothing, even when we come in on stuff that we know is not right, like social injustice.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong, guys.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: We all fall to commenting every now and then, but I'm talking about when it sucks up your time, it's not worth it because a lot of stuff is placed online to jack up your emotions and have you in a defeated state.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is why you got to be intentional on what you watch.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Podcasts, funny videos, some of it's okay, but when it's too much ignorance, like what are you training your mind to do?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Start looking at stuff that'll teach you a new skill, positive thinking, a new way of thinking in your mind, physical workouts, even listen, check this out.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in a small environment, you can even do a tour, a virtual tour of a city, museums, you know, different financial institutions, you can learn the history of it.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's all types of free courses online.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is so many different things going on that we have access to, right?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then think about some of the um if you like really want to get up and close and personal with some people, right?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't really leave right now, join an online group.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, you want to vent them, you want to vet them out, make sure it's not a whole bunch of spam coming through.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: But trust me, it's a lot of like uh it's a event bright, it's a lot of websites like Eventbrite.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: You already know Facebook page, Facebook groups, but it's a lot of event groups online that you can really connect with like-minded people.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if it's having conversations about how you can apply chess to life, it could be an UnoCar group, just somewhere where you can go and have expanded conversations about things.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, people across the world, one of the main things they really are they're missing that they want, even though we're connected, they don't they want to find people to talk to and build community with.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's number one.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm not gonna sit there and joke around and say, Oh, virtual no, nothing replaces human interaction in the organic, is what I like to say.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Having virtual good friends is a blessing.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine meeting some people that you got a lot in common with, and you guys just have a great time together, and you literally have video chats all the time.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you guys will set up the video and we'll go around the house and do all types of things, and you'll come back to the video, like, hey, are you there?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's really a great thing for the heart.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna tell you, I'd rather do that than spend physical time with people that want to pull me down and want me to think small.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you can close your eyes and envision a different life.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not as fantasy, it's about prepare preparation.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because many people, what they do before they physically move, when people start to relocate, they imagine it first, they look it up online first.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: They if before the internet, they was going to the library to get maps and books and to study that area.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's what they did.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: They've mentally started to move.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: They're thinking about leaving before their body actually does it.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Their standards change.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: You ever heard somebody say when they're about to move, now they're finna change their wardrobe, they're gonna change their hairstyle, right?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually the location catches up.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: See your current surroundings, yes, they are real, but they do not have to become your personal, excuse me, your permanent address, right?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever forget that it might be what's going on right now, and we say it is what it is, that's fine, but that doesn't mean it's permanent, okay.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Idea number two, protect yourself from confidence contamination.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, black sheep family.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: As a black sheep, you know, we've been through a lot of different things, and even though we understand that all the rejection and craziness that we went through, it was for our protection, but it still hurts.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I can tell you all types of ways to think about it, and and you know, and and don't get me wrong, when you understand it's your protection, it does help you move on and move on in a better light.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, when you're rejected by certain people, especially the people that's closest to you, it hurts when you have a business idea or you want to go off to school and the people that you thought was would support you and they don't, it hurts.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: We live through it, we move through it.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's what makes us different, right?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: We started to rebuild our life anyway, we moved on.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you and I both know it took a lot of courage and confidence because when nobody else is voting for you, you still need enough belief to vote for yourself.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be able to say, I'm gonna stand for me, I believe in me.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what it looks like, but I know I can do better than what I got right now, right?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing I need you to understand, whenever you begin walking in that type of confidence, pay attention to what happens around you.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Pay real close attention, okay?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because some people, some people they're gonna encourage you.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be like, okay, I see you.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love this for you.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Some people, they're gonna sharpen it, they're gonna like, you know what, I like what you're doing.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Look, just do, they'll give you pointers because they see you making it happen for yourself, right?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: They see your effort, they're gonna help you out.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Iron sharp is iron.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: But then you're gonna have some people that's gonna try to step on it.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: You start talking different, moving different, setting goals, right?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then here comes somebody else that's gonna say, Oh, you didn't change.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: You you acting different now.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on with you?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why you doing all of that?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you need to be realistic.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: What you talking about going back to school?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: What you talking about moving across the country?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you know what's going on right now?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Be realistic.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Then they're gonna tell you, they're gonna test you with this.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, oh, you act, you cocky.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: I see, you too cocky.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not cockiness, it's confidence.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And why shouldn't you be confident?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: You've spent years doubting yourself, shrinking your life so other people could feel big.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I need you to understand people who repeatedly try to step on your confidence, they're giving you information, and I'm not talking about correction.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: They are literally telling you they are intimidated by your confidence.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: So now they want to try to contaminate it, sprinkle a little salt, right?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: They want to ask you, who do you think you are?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: They want you to stay manageable, they want you to stay small because some people were comfortable with you as long as they believed and saw you as somebody that was underneath them.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because they never was your friend, they never wanted you to win.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: They needed you for motivation, but they're gonna make you feel like you underneath them.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is why, as soon as you start to raise up a little bit, they get uncomfortable, they try to put a little salt in your confidence.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: See, some people like you unsure, asking for a permission.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: The day you stop needing approval and stop giving an F, you done make you got some problems on your hands, you got problems on your hands.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: See, when people start acting like that, this is an attempt to keep you in your place, your assigned position.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if someone is consistently contaminating and sprinkling salt in your confidence, you have to remove their access to the root.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: You got to get them up out of here.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot see what you must understand, black sheep, is a lot of us have been through crazy stuff from the beginning.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about when we were young children, and it took us a long time to heal.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing about it is you cannot keep you cannot keep trying to heal while allowing the same infection to remain in place.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot you cannot be trying to you cannot continue to build a new identity while giving old voices unlimited access to your mind.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's already hard to change, and you've put in all of this work, you put all this work in.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot let old people that's been attached to you just because they known you from back in the day or knew your parents or whatever, and they coming in contaminating and trying to water down what you're building now because it shows them up, because it makes them feel a certain type of way.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: No cut their access off by the root, they don't need to be rooted around you, nothing at all.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: When when these type of people show you who they are, don't even play with it, don't try to figure out why, nothing, just cut it, and you don't have to do it in a dramatic way, just cut it, just start removing access.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the last idea I want you to think about build an environment that supports your future.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about it a little bit, right?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just start being around people who expand your vision.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you gotta go to an open house, go to an open house in a neighborhood that you know you're not gonna move in, at least not today, and you probably wouldn't want to, but you love the houses in that area.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Go to an open house, go to a showing.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell you another one.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Go to a library in a beautiful part of town.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is a slip, one of the most slept-on ideas.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Go to a nice library in a nice part of town.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, you will meet all types of people, you're meeting other thinkers, right?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Go to Barnes and Nobles.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you can go to places, they'll introduce you to new books, new industries, and opportunities, just new ways of thinking.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: When you let me tell you something, when you have, let's say, for instance, if you've lost a lot of weight and you've gone around your old friends because they're okay with being obese, right?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: You never had a problem with it, but you had a problem with it for yourself, but they got a problem with you now, or or they don't express that they got a problem with you, but it's like they want to continue to try to get you to eat a lot of calories, right?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what you do you start going around other people that are fit.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: You doing the work.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: See, they are not judging you on trying to get fit because they see you, they see the actions you're making.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: They are already fit, they are willing and ready to share ideas with you.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: See, that's one thing about people that's into improving their life.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: When you start going around certain types of environments that will expand your thinking, I'm telling you right now, I don't care what race you are, people are willing to give you information.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you won't, it's a chance you can meet an a-hole, a scumbag, right?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, but 90% of the people they're gonna be ready to give you information.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're not trying to gatekeep, they glad you another person that wants to learn and step it up.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so don't waste your time.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Go around people who strengthen your execution game.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: These are the people who move, they follow through and they finish.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: People who protect your growth, these are the people who can celebrate you, they correct you, they don't want to see you mess up, so they don't tell you when you're wrong, right?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: They don't let you know, but it's a certain way it comes out, right?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: They don't gossip about your process, they don't gossip about your your mistakes, they're not competing with you in secret, they don't try to punish you for changing, right?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need you to stay small, they're doing their own thing.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: You need to go in rooms where growth is normal, where ambition is normal, where people talk about opportunities, not other people.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you something.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: When I went on this trip about three weeks ago, it's been about four weeks now.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we all went out on this trip.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, crazy thing is, I wasn't gonna go, but I pushed myself to go.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, anyways, I observed the young lady that had so many good things going on, they were complaining about their customers, they were talking about their customers, and in my mind, I said, wait a minute, this is a time where people are cutting back.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you got customers, but you talking about your customers, you complaining about your customers now.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: If it's a customer that you need to get rid of, that's different.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: But every single customer, so I said, 'You know what?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm judging too much.' So this would have been like after the second, third customer she was talking about, and so she showed me the picture and started talking about the customer.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, 'Well, maybe I said she's coming to you for expertise, she needs your help.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.' She still proceeded to talk negative about the customer.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guess what?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: On my way back from this trip, other things transpired, but that was absolutely one of the main things that I continue to think about.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, here you are, an entrepreneur, and you are around somebody that's literally complaining about the fact that people are coming to them for help when they say they are an expert in that field.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: In a time where people are cutting back, you still have people willing to come give you a try and keep your business afloat.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: But yet and still, yet and still, you're talking about every single one of them.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: For me, that didn't sit right.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because I said, I said, well, if you're talking about people that's helping you pay your bills, you have no respect for nobody.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I know you're gonna talk about me.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And all that time, y'all, listen, I told my said, you will not be around this person anymore.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need that, you need to be in rooms where they're talking about opportunities, how to expand their business, how to run it better, right?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: How to provide better service, not talking about the people that still come and believing in me.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: What type of crap is that?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, see, that lets you know the mental space a person is in.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: See, once you experience an environment where someone where people know where they treat you like your success is not threatening them, I'm telling you right now, you will never want to go back to that other riff raff.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Once you encounter people that want you to win with their actions, the other environment is a wrap.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's a wrap.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what this episode comes down to: you cannot control every environment you're placed in.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: You may not be able to leave every bad situation immediately, right?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can't stop every uh person from criticizing you, hopping in the comment section, talking trash or whatever.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: But you can control what you feed your mind, you can control who gets access to your confidence and your talents and your energy, you can control which voices become experts in your life, you can control what you feel is great feedback and what is trash.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: You control that.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: You control whether a small crack to allow someone that has shown you that they are a hater to let them slip through before it becomes structural damage.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can control that.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: We're not letting people slip through no more black sheet family.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: If they have shown you, believe it.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: End of discussion, end of discussion, family.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because what you must understand is when we keep letting people slide through, see the thing about a foundation, which is could be your family, your business, your life, all of it.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: See, it don't it rarely collapses all at once, just like life.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful, everything don't happen at once, right?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, usually, usually there is a crack that somebody ignored.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: We kept letting somebody come through in and out.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: They would do a little something here and sneak away.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't talk to them for a while.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: Time will go along, and you think, man, they maybe they've changed.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: They don't come back in and do something else year after year, right?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a comment, a pattern, how they don't ever show up for stuff.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a disrespectful joke, right?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: A repeated attempt to make you doubt yourself, and you just keep saying they didn't mean anything by it.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: I bet that's how they are, you know.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: That was only that one time, right?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: But repeated behavior, that's a pattern.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: That means they're trying to do it.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: And once somebody has shown you that they only come around you to judge you or to try to weaken what you're doing, you have to stop giving them access.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you something, family.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Becoming a savage about your growth is is just unquestionable.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: It does not mean you're becoming cruel, it just means you're taking your fear, your future serious.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're taking it so serious that you're willing to protect yourself and everything you got that's growing under any means necessary.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now remember, you know, information without execution is only entertainment.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: So before we close this up, you know I'm gonna give you these three moves, okay?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Move number one, audit your soil.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the environments where you spend your most time.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Just check it out.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't, you know, just start observing yourself.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Look at how where you spend most of your time at home, your job, neighborhoods, friends, even some of the group chats you are part of right now.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Look at your social media feed, the podcast you watch, all types of content.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Just check yourself out and ask yourself does this environment feed my future or is it starving?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: You may not be able to switch it all off today and switch it up, but you need to tell yourself the truth about where you're planning at.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, build a mental relocation plan.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Choose three ways to expose yourself to the life you want before you can physically enter it.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, join the online community, follow somebody online, take one course.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: The cool ones right here, watch a virtual tour.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Last night, and we had a huge storm, but last night, right before the storm came in, I was at a cafe in Rome across the street from the Coliseum, having coffee, listening to jazz.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved every bit of it, it was so beautiful.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I hope you're somewhere where you can really enjoy just even if you don't have a huge screen TV.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, on your tablet, your iPad, you can really set the mood.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's even things that you can buy now where if you got a phone, you can have it projected on the wall.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I encourage you to take a virtual tour.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a new one: create a vision board.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I had actually um really been into digital board of vision boards.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually gonna be cranking up one that I'm gonna do a digital vision board because I used to like the whole old-fashioned deal cutting out magazines.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I am a crafty person, right?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I came up with an idea about doing them on the digital, right?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to join that, that's gonna be a free event.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're absolutely welcome to join.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna post it up.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you'll see something on it coming about soon, but it's really cool.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because you need something to glance your gaze upon that will excite you, your body, a car.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: So the last one that I did was the furniture that I wanted to uh furnish my home with that I have now, and guess what?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: I got it all there.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: I got it there, and it's so crazy because I did the vision board probably in 2019, between 2019 and 2020, and I have the complete setup at this time.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and so listen, I want you to join that free event because we're gonna do it big guys.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing listen, we're thinking bigger now.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: If we only live one time, somebody drop in the jump in the comments and tell me what is the purpose of thinking small?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: If we only live one time, what is the point?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And don't tell me I'm being realistic.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Don't tell me being realistic.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me something real.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: What is the point of thinking small?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: But listen, you can do that vision board, the old school one or the digital one.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can um join a digital event, just start training your mind for the environment you're going to be in.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Move number three, seal the crack.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Seal the crack.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Identify one person, one voice, somebody that got reoccurring behavior that consistently tries to downplay what you're doing.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: They consistently try to put their foot on your neck, they consistently try to contaminate your confidence, then decide once and for all what boundaries is required.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Me personally, I'm gonna tell you to cut them off because if there's no in-between.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: You either want me to win or you don't.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: You may not say I want you to lose, but if you don't want me to win, what do you want me to do?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Stay still, stay small?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, either way it goes, you don't decide.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to be here.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can watch it from the nosebleed.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, guys, some people, even if you don't cut them off because they're cool sometimes, that's fine.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to cut them off, but you don't have to you don't also don't have to give them direct access to you.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't invite them over no more, you don't talk to them as much, right?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as those conversations go left, you tell them you got something to do and you got to get off the phone.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: Trust and believe, people can pick up on it when you're not on that same crap no more.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And don't feel bad about it.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't feel bad about it.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: See, some people the only reason why they come to you with that negative small talk is because you allow it.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you stop feeling sorry for them and let them know, listen, man, I'm trying to build some stuff right now, and that's not really helping me.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Look, girl, I can't talk about that crap right now, right?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: If it's always some gossip and stupid stuff, you tell them one time and they're gonna start, they're gonna figure it out.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna figure it out, okay?
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you ain't gotta ask them for nothing, just give them less time, right?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't even keep and don't here's the thing don't keep ignoring the crack though, and then ex surprise when the foundation starts shifting, okay?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what they want.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be surprised when you keep spinning the block and they do something to your foundation that you've worked 10 years to build.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now they come, they come mess it up.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, seal the crack.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you cannot keep planning your future in soil that is committed to your past.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: Black sheep family, you are not wrong for needing better environments, better rooms.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: You are not disloyal for outgrowing an environment that cannot support your development, your growth.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Go where you can grow.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: And until you can physically get there, build a place inside your mind.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now listen, the brief is over, but the mission starts the moment you hit stop.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just hear today's lesson.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: Run it, test it, master it.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because knowledge without execution is only entertainment.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Move with discipline, study with patterns and focus, protect your focus.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Stay ready, family.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, information is everywhere, but execution is rare.