Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 175 - The effects of caring about what other people think

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 175 - The effects of caring about what other people think · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today I want to talk to you a little bit about why we care so
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  much about what other people think about us.
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  This is been coming up a lot and not in my personal life, but
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  with my clients, and I thought it would be worth it to address
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  it with all of you since it seems to be something that's out
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  there floating in the world right now, worrying about what
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  other people are going to think. And I, I know this is something
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  that's we, we are hard wired since you if.
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  You went to middle school? You actually understand this on
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  such a deep level because anybody who's gone to middle
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  school, which is. All of us.
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  Hopefully gets the fact that you worry about what other people
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  think. You don't want to be that kid
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  that has that any way to stand out that isn't in a great way.
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  And even the ones who are, you know, the ones, the popular
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  kids, they still worried about it.
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  They just didn't do it in the same way.
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  It's it. Middle school is.
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  Probably the the breeding ground of all trauma as.
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  Far as I'm concerned for so many people, because they'll all come
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  back and they'll say, well, when I was in middle school and I was
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  like, note to myself, gosh, middle school and my middle
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  school experience was no better. Believe me, I did not enjoy
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  middle school at all. There was a chunk of time that I
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  could. Technically, say let's.
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  Do redo that. It would be middle school for
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  sure. But in any event, we digress.
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  I. Don't want to go down there?
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  Let's go back to the. Fact of You have to let yourself
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  understand that there's a part of you that you, it's hard wired
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  into us to have social behaviors and social cues from other
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  people because they're important, right?
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  You do want other people to as a society, as a, as a thriving
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  species, we look to others to shape us.
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  And part of that can be healthy. Part of it is healthy, but not
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  at the detriment of yourself. Again, this comes back to always
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  being self aware and really looking at how you're processing
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  stuff. There's a really awesome quote
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  from Lao Tzu who says care what other people think and you will
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  always be their prisoner. And boy, isn't that the truth.
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  I mean, go back even to middle school.
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  I mean, I can tell you how many times I heard my father say why
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  do you care what they think? But you know, it's really easy
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  for someone who's in their 40s to be telling somebody who's
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  10:11 and 12:00 not to care what other people think and not
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  knowing where that person is in their little mind and their
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  little development. So we all have these issues with
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  this showing up at some point in our life.
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  We become prisoners of other people by giving them the power
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  and allowing what they think to become our reality.
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  So I'll give you a great example.
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  When I was going to shoot, when I was going to begin the process
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  of, you know, recording out in the chicken coop and possibly
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  shooting videos and things out here, I had this whole thing in
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  my head about, well, I wonder what people are going to think
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  as a professional who's recording from her chicken coop.
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  And it I had to go through this process.
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  Now, did it take me a long time? No, it didn't take me a long
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  time because I recognize the information it was trying to
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  give me. And then I use that information
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  and I came to the conclusion, which is why you're listening to
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  me out in my chicken coop because this is one of my most
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  happy places. I love hanging out with my
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  chickens and granted, right now some of them are here, but a lot
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  of them are far away, out free ranging, having fun, doing
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  whatever they're doing, looking for bugs.
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  But it's nonetheless, I'm still happy to be here with the ones
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  that I have. And this is one of my I have to
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  look at myself. How do I want to say this?
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  I want to look at myself and say just because this is not the
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  same as what other people like, it doesn't mean that I can't
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  bring it forward and share it with people and let people know
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  that I like it. It's that originality of saying,
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  you know what, people are entitled to their opinions and
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  they can keep their opinions. They can share their opinions,
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  but I don't have to keep their opinion.
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  I can decide. Just like I don't have to keep
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  the garbage in the house every night.
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  If I want to take it out, I can take it out.
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  I don't have to hang on to things.
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  I don't have to make everything a collection and curate it and
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  leased off somebody else's opinions about things.
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  And I think we're we have become so sensitive to what other
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  people think right now in society.
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  We don't want to accept ourselves for who we are and
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  where we are because we're worried about what other people
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  are going to think. So a lot of us have retreated
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  and just said, well, I'm going to, I'm going to just go down
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  this other road and isolate myself or I'm going to not truly
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  share who I am. And that's fine if you're doing
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  it for the right reason, But if you're doing it to hide, it's
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  never the right reason. And it's important to say no.
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  I'm going to stand in the truth of who I am.
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  I'm going to accept myself for who I am.
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  I'm going to love myself for who I am.
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  And I'm going to give myself the grace and the space to cultivate
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  that person into the greatest version of myself that I can be
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  and not according to what other people think, according to you.
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  You've got to liberate yourself from the thoughts that it
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  matters what anyone else thinks. And maybe you have, you know,
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  that close person in your life, like I have a few close people
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  in my life and I will go to them for their opinions on things.
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  Doesn't mean I'll take them, but I trust them and I'll go to
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  them. And I'll say, OK, what are your
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  thoughts on this? And you know, my husband being
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  one of them. And sometimes he'll say to me,
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  you know, I don't, I don't know how that would go or I'm not
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  sure about that. Or he'll give me his opinion.
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  Doesn't mean I have to take it. Just means that I've checked in,
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  I've gotten some information again, but I don't have to hold
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  on to it. I don't have to keep it.
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  So the lesson today all about accepting yourself for who you
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  are, where you are and giving yourself the freedom, the the,
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  the just the Peace of Mind that I don't care what other people
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  think and I am no longer going to be a prisoner of anyone is
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  just absolutely freeing. So hopefully today this is going
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  to be helpful to you and I will see you tomorrow.
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  Have a great day guys. Bye.