Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Chewey’s Salon Chair #21 – A Week Before Single Speed USA – Decorah, IA Edition

Transcript

Chewey’s Salon Chair #21 – A Week Before Single Speed USA – Decorah, IA Edition · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  [rock music] Welcome to Chewy Salon Chair number 22, SingleSpeed USA Podcast.
• 0:23
  [imitates motor] [laughs] Okay. It worked. [laughs] Can't believe that actually worked. [laughs] That was not- It was good... the first attempt. [laughs] Shh. Okay. The world knows it was the first attempt. Okay. Yeah.
• 0:35
  So, uh, podcast number 22, we think. We never know for sure. Um, this is in the home of SingleSpeed USA, um, which is- My house? Or this town? Your house. No, no, this town. Okay.
• 0:48
  Well, we can base everything out of your house if you want everybody to come here and stay.
• 0:52
  I thought about Friday night packet pickup coming here, and we'd have, like, the trailer be- trail between O'Gara's and mine, and have just a party here. Ooh.
• 1:00
  Have, have the garage open, have the other garage open, have, you know, beers back in the backyard, have a fire going. [exhales loudly] We can see. So- Uh, so- Well, it's two weeks away... yeah.
• 1:10
  Well, so what I know from people who are coming into town is a lot of them are coming in on Thursday. Yeah? Not a lot. I don't think, I don't think the Minnesota guys are.
• 1:18
  The guys from out of town are, seem like they're coming in. Um, the Phoenix people, the, some of the KC people are coming in at that time, so, um, we're gonna have to come up with some... I,
• 1:30
  I don't think we have to come up with shit, because [inhales] once the group from DJ and those guys get here, and they're... You, you do know that they have an Airbnb that's, like, 20 steps from my house. Ooh. Yeah.
• 1:42
  I'm glad it's- Yeah... closer to your house than mine. It's right next door to Devon and Eric's house. I'll say, once they get here, it's kind of fucking over. Yeah. Isn't it? [laughs] Huh?
• 1:49
  [laughs] It, it, it's, it's like, I don't think we're gonna have a friend in town when this shit's over with, but that's all right. We'll get over it. We'll be fine. Yeah.
• 1:56
  I was surprised how well received, um, the shenanigans was tonight.
• 2:00
  Yeah, we- It actually- So Spinner and I went to the Elks Club, which is where we're gonna be hosting the after party and registration, and chatted with the, the bar manager and the retired bar manager. I'm not sure.
• 2:13
  The former bar manager, yeah. All she wants to do is see naked guys, I think. I'm not sure about after, anything else other than that, but whatever. She wants to help put spandex on.
• 2:21
  We said there's not a lot of spandex in this event necessarily, but, um- But anyway... I mean, there's a lot of costumes that could be spandex. But they were awesome.
• 2:29
  We talked about a lot of shit that we've done at SingleSpeed USA and SingleSpeed Worlds, and they were, like, totally cool with it, so I think it's gonna be a great venue. We've got, um, DNF playing.
• 2:39
  Um, and I'm just chatting with- Daddy's nighttime friends... with Hollywood right now, and they're excited to play, so that's gonna be awesome and, and it'll be- I'm talk- I'm talking to Hollywood right now. Oh, you are?
• 2:50
  Via... And he sent me this video. Oh, that's th- that's their new one, yeah, with all their vans? Th- they have a music video? They've got several. Okay. There's more than one out there, yeah.
• 3:00
  We're, we're gonna have to post this up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Ramblin' Fever. Yep. And, uh, they, they've got that, and then they also have, um, I have a CD they did. Let me see if I can...
• 3:14
  [rock music] We'll just do that. [laughs] That's good. Yeah. So- That's the band... um, yeah.
• 3:31
  That's the band. Um, are we talking about the other band at all? Are we gonna get those guys? Are we gonna call them? Oh, The Gilly Kill? Yeah. Um, maybe. Oh, look at, oh, look at all of a sudden Shana's all excited.
• 3:42
  I know them. Do you know them? Yes. Personally. We gonna fe- We gonna have them- Do you know where... They don't wear underwear, so of course you know them. [laughs] Amen to that. Fuck yeah. You're gonna see some balls.
• 3:52
  Yeah. Uh, it's, it's a thought. The, uh, the people at the Elks actually brought it up if we wanna do two bands, 'cause that's kind of what happens down there, so following their format, it's a possibility.
• 4:01
  We haven't talked to them, but we like- We're still friends... we... Okay. I can hook us up. Figure it out.
• 4:04
  So he says he's got two 45-minute sets, so he can do 45 minutes, and then we can do the middle piece, and then he can do another 45 minutes, so that's an hour and a half. I don't know if the, they- I, if- I'm open.
• 4:16
  Yeah, I am, too. I, I, I don't... We kind of want people to go downtown and see the town, too. I mean, that's kind of- We've got Thursday, Friday to do that.
• 4:23
  You're right, so we could do everything at the Elks on Saturday. Yeah. And people can, they can run to your place. Yeah. The bar at your place, and they can come back. They can go to T Back's, come back. Um... Yeah.
• 4:34
  That's another discussion we have to have at another point. So right now, everything that's set is, is we have our sponsors. Yep. Um, State Bicycle, um, Top of Goliath. Yep. Um- Top of the Lab Brewery. We have OneUp USA.
• 4:47
  Got a rack coming. Um, Grizzly Coolers. Um, I'd have to look at the- And each one of the registered riders gets a Grizzly cup. Gets a Grizzly Rocks glass- Yeah... with the insulated. So I,
• 5:01
  I always wanna compare them to YETI, but I don't know if you have to, but Grizzly Coolers are made right here in town, so that's kind of the neat thing about that.
• 5:09
  Um, yeah, OneUp, Grizzly, and those are the main sponsors. And then we're also getting a set of bars from Oddity. Burnsy reached out and said... I didn't ask him for anything.
• 5:19
  He's like, "Hey, somebody's riding SingleSpeed and they need some of my bars," so he's sending them up. And then, uh, Selmon- Jellmoney? How do you say it? Money. Yeah. C-J-E-L-L? Yeah.
• 5:29
  That's- How do, how do you- How do you not know him? He's from Albert Lea, you know? I do know him. I don't know how to say his name. [laughs] That's 'cause it's not his name. That's why. I know. But- That's all right...
• 5:37
  uh, but- He's a super nice guy. He's f- I, I- He's coming up. Yeah. He's coming up? Yeah. Oh, he sent me a message. Oh, man. He's like, "Hey, I got a couple guys that didn't register that are coming up, um, Rook."
• 5:47
  Oh, fuck. Rook- And then he goes- Good.
• 5:48
  I'm gonna call Rook up and he can bring my fucking wheels back with him, 'cause I gave Rook a set of 27.5 wheels, like, five fucking years ago, and he's supposed to build me- Yeah, after Seattle...
• 5:56
  the frame like that, um- Cup hold- cup holder frame... Matt's got one. Yeah. I mean, they're, they're coaster brake made frames, and they're fucking cool, and they put- Right...
• 6:05
  a cup holder in the middle of the frame Yeah. And, and, and they're, and they're actually really fun to ride. These, he's put some thought in. They're good riding bikes. Oh, he's coming.
• 6:12
  I actually- And then he goes, "And then Carl Artus." And I'm like, "I don't know if he knows." Oh, you know Carl. And I'm like, "Is that Still Saturday Carl?" [laughs] It is. It is. It is. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Yeah.
• 6:22
  I still haven't got my tattoo. I gotta work on that yet. A Still Saturday tattoo? Yeah. I... 'Cause everybody was gonna do the tattoo that they...
• 6:28
  I think we kinda picked one that everybody's using, but the one that I did on my hand with my right hand drawing on my left hand was probably the best artwork I've ever done in my life.
• 6:36
  And then I didn't take a picture of it or anything, so I don't have it, so I'm gonna go with that one. Should we tell the Still Saturday story really quick, or should we just- No, no.
• 6:44
  Yeah, we can, yeah, we should tell it because these are... 'Cause everybody needs to understand, these are the people that you're going to either meet or run from, what- however you wanna look at it. Yeah. Probably both.
• 6:53
  Yeah. But, well, and my understanding of the story... Or do we just tell everybody to ask Harry about it? She'll be pissed. Everybody'll wanna hear the story. She's not fucking coming, so fine. Carrie's not coming? No.
• 7:03
  [dog panting] Girls. [dog panting] Um, so yeah. Carl was at a race. Was that a single speed race? Yeah, it was, uh... That was the one in Bend, I think. That was Single Speed Worlds. Okay.
• 7:14
  And he woke up on Friday, for some reason thought he missed the race, and he called people, and he called his wife or girlfriend, whatever it is. Yeah, he was talking to his wife. Yeah. He's like, "I missed the race.
• 7:24
  I missed it." [laughs] It's... He's like, "I can't believe I missed it. I got fucked up," and whatever. And then they're like, "No, you're fine. It, it's, it's Friday." "No, it's Saturday. I know it's Saturday."
• 7:34
  And then he woke up the next day and he's like- It's still Saturday. Yeah... "Honey, it's still Saturday." [laughs] And so, and so, and so we literally all grabbed a magic marker and wrote Still Saturday on our hands.
• 7:43
  Who are you? So you, so you remember it was Still Saturday type of thing. And I, I think most of them have gotten a tattoo. I'm just fucking lazy about getting tattoos. But it's nice.
• 7:50
  It was Crazy Carl, and now it's Still Saturday Carl. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. I, it's, I didn't realize he was coming. I didn't look at the list that well. Um, so yeah. So he's- Well, he's not on the list. Is he coming? Yes.
• 8:00
  Okay. So the, so there's a New Mexico group that are coming. That would be Back of the Pack Racing. Yep. Um, there's a group coming out of Phoenix. Um, uh, you said they weren't registered either, Candy and Jolly.
• 8:11
  Let me see if I can pull it up right now. Okay. And then, um, they're bringing some... They're, they're actually stopping in Kansas City and picking up some folks and coming this way. Mm-hmm.
• 8:18
  Um, there's some guys coming from, uh, Andy Wood is coming from Surly in Minneapolis. Um, um, I'm assuming... I don't know where... I don't know. So one of our friends from Australia's coming, and he's...
• 8:32
  I don't know if he's going to the cities and joining with somebody, or if he's... Given that, he needs this. Yeah. Um, or if he's going to go to Milwaukee and come over with Zito. Okay.
• 8:42
  I'm just- He- Can you hear the dogs clicking? Yeah. Yeah. Do we need to do something? No. Okay. Greg's gotta have something to do. Okay. He's not gonna pull out the doggy clicks, is he? I hope not.
• 8:52
  We don't have to clear anything. Just post it as is. Okay. All right. Um, so- Stop it... so you... What are you doing? She's doing her nails. Um, she's t- [laughs] I'm not. Dude, come on.
• 9:05
  You don't get to do a podcast- Okay, 137 replies here... look, we invite you to a podcast, you don't... Oh, he's got a new... Let's see. Hollywood's, Hollywood's got a new video. That's one I just played.
• 9:15
  Is that the one you were playing, Bitchen? Yes. Is it? Yes. Okay. I watched it. I didn't know the name of it. Okay. I just spin out. Shut it. Um, all right. Uh, so- We are 93.4% men. Sweet.
• 9:27
  That sounds like a really good ratio to me. Yeah. [laughs] Okay. Re- call your friends. [laughs] I know all of them. Um, 54.7% over 40. Um- This is becoming the RAGBRAI of bicycle racing... 4% under 25.
• 9:42
  I'm, like, impressed with your demographics. This is, like, weird. Why? This is- I, I just would never would have expected that from you. That's why he gets paid the big bucks. Ooh. That's why I get the big bucks. Yeah.
• 9:51
  20, 21 registered to race in the fast category, 116 in fun and fellowship, so, um- And another- I would say 50 are showing up. That are showing up, but didn't... I forgot to register. Yeah...
• 10:03
  everybody was like, "Why isn't registration open? Why isn't registration open?" I opened registration three months before the start. I closed it one month before we had the event, and now I'm getting...
• 10:09
  Uh, everybody's like, "Dude, do you have any more?" And I'm, I'm like, "Just email me your T-shirt size and bring 50 bucks." Yeah. That's what we're doing, so. So it's cool. So courses, uh, O'Gara's gonna go...
• 10:21
  Uh, hopefully O'Gara shows up before we're done with this, but O'Gara's gonna go out and ride the course tomorrow. The course is set. The course is set. Um- Well, there's one... There's a couple little caveats. Um, yeah.
• 10:33
  Um, but it should be around, we're thinking, 12 miles, and it should be around, uh, 1,600 feet of climbing [laughs] for one lap. Wait, wait.
• 10:42
  [laughs] Wasn't somebody going, "Oh, it's not gonna be like someplace else out east, like, or out west. It's not gonna be climbing like that." No, it's gonna be climbing like that. Well, they'll, they'll figure it out.
• 10:51
  Um, that's the nice thing. I mean, we've talked about it, and then there's no way to explain it. Once you get here, you'll be like, "Huh. Yeah. It's not what I thought Iowa was."
• 10:58
  Did you see, uh, the post, was it yesterday, where somebody's asking what gears to run? No. And then all the, all the smart...
• 11:05
  I was like, "Just keep asking dumb questions because all the smart-ass answers are gonna come flying all at one time." There's not gonna be any actual advice on this. [laughs] No. No.
• 11:14
  It's- And then, and then did you see Shocky actually puts out, like, a gigantic explanation of the gearing that he's been running and stuff? No, I didn't see that. And I'm like, "Goddammit, Vinnie, knock it off."
• 11:21
  [laughs] It's run what you brung. You're gonna have to push your bike at some point. Exactly. Everybody... [laughs] Like, somebody did say that. They go, um, "I'm using the 24-inch version." Yeah. Two feet. [laughs] Yep.
• 11:31
  Yep. So y- but basically it's gonna be, the start is gonna be in the middle. It's gonna be roughly six miles, and then another six miles, but you're gonna pass the start.
• 11:42
  And then if you wanna hammer the fast guys, I mean, like, if you signed up for it, you're gonna do 24 miles, and, um, you're gonna do, you know, over 3,000 feet of climbing. So, um, have fun. [laughs] Yeah.
• 11:57
  But the nice thing is that you'll be able to... If, if you think it sucks, you'll be able to stop after six miles and quit- Right... or 12 miles and quit, or 18 miles and quit. That's the good thing about it. Yeah.
• 12:05
  That's gonna be... Uh, we've done some- Um- We're gonna set this up so the party is in the middle, and you're gonna pass the party four times if you're fast.
• 12:14
  And, um, yeah, you, you can stop there for the rest of the day if you want [laughs] Yep... on your first lap.
• 12:20
  And then when we're done, we'll get things set up so that you can go and get a bite to eat in one of the restaurants or something in town. Maybe there's, uh, gonna be some food trucks around. Th- that's...
• 12:29
  We'll post that online later because that's got some work that we need to do on that. Uh-huh. Um, and then, uh, back to the Elks for
• 12:38
  a band or two, and, uh, they've got some drink specials and lots of Swilling beer, and that should be a fucking awesome time. Yeah. And then Sunday is just go out and ride and have fun. Yeah. Go back out on the trails.
• 12:50
  And the, and the bigger thing to remember is, is that once you get into Decorah, depending on where you're staying, for as long as you're staying in the city of Decorah, once you get here, you should never, ever have to get back in your car.
• 13:00
  Yeah. Everything is ac- ac- accessible. Like, it's maybe two miles every direction from city center, maybe. Yeah. Um, to the campground. You know, the campground trail goes right into town. The breweries are in town.
• 13:12
  The only thing, Toppling Goliath, is up on top of the hill. So, um, but there's a... Every bar in town has Toppling Goliath beer. And I, and I would say, does the shuttles still run up to Toppling?
• 13:23
  Um, it does on certain weekends, but I think you'd have to, like, double-check and make sure it's running. Maybe something would've been- You're talking Dots and Rods? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 13:29
  I'm not sure if it's every weekend anymore. He had some issues. Oh, did he? [laughs] Too many drunk people. [laughs] When- Weird... what the fuck do you expect? [laughs] Like, right? Amazing.
• 13:38
  [laughs] Like, you show up people, birdie, birdie, birdie. Why take a bus full of people to- Yeah... to a bar that has- Well, and di-... all 12% beers? Weird... and did, and didn't you go to Peave also? Mm-hmm.
• 13:45
  It was like a loop. Yeah. Yeah. And so let's see. It was a challenge. You're doing a loop, you're doing a loop of three microbreweries, well, even Dixie's, so a, add a fourth one in there if you want to, in, in essence.
• 13:54
  So it's like, okay, you're doing a, a, a four microbrewery tour on a bus, and he was charging five bucks. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Great things are gonna happen. [laughs] Yeah, yeah.
• 14:01
  You expect there's not gonna be drunk people on that? Yeah. And it's, uh, Pulpit Rock's seventh anniversary on Saturday, on that Saturday, which I didn't realize- Yeah... until I sent it. They're gonna be packed. Yeah.
• 14:12
  Really? Actually, Scott lives right over here. He's like the neighbor. Lives- Really? He lives in between me and O'Gara, yeah. I didn't know that. Mm-hmm. Between you and O'Gara? Yeah.
• 14:18
  Like, so it has to be on the top of the hill. No. He's on the corner- Oh... where that little dog runs around and the guy- He's not talking about Pete, the owner. He's the other guy. Not Pete. [laughs] No.
• 14:29
  No, but it was my... [laughs] I forgot about the story how, when we went to Single Speed Alaska... That was Single Speed Worlds, wasn't it, in Alaska? Yep, that was the Worlds, yeah.
• 14:36
  Yeah, and how the bar ran out of beer. Very- You went, you- You are gonna bring this up, aren't you? [laughs] No, we have to talk about it.
• 14:43
  We, we were talking, we're, we're telling stories with the guy at Elks, and he goes, "Oh, I'm writing this down. You have to tell the story again." Yeah. So he's like, "How much beer do we need to have?"
• 14:50
  And, like, we've been... So- And he said something like, "We've gone and had to buy a beer at Fairway before," or something like that. Yeah. And then- So we- So we tell this story in Alaska.
• 14:58
  So in Ala- you know, and DJ, for everything he did fucking wrong at that race, the thing he did do, he had a pallet of beer, which is, what, 200 cases or 200 cas- I don't remember what it was.
• 15:08
  It was a shitload of beer, like we were- 200 cases... we were like, we were like... There... It was, it was- 20 cases... it was a pallet stacked five feet high. Like on reserve cases? Caskers cases.
• 15:14
  No, he, they sent it to him. Oh. It was, it was there when... at registration. We literally, we literally drank ourself to death at registration 'cause we never- I remember that. We got off the plane.
• 15:22
  You don't remember shit. No, 'cause it was in, like, that fake mini mall. You don't remember shit 'cause you passed outside in an office chair. [laughs] Well, it was, I needed a nap.
• 15:30
  You needed a nap, but I remember there was- Sleepy time. [laughs]... there was this pallet of beer, and it was like- Yeah... all of a sudden, like, it was down a level, then it was down another level. Yeah.
• 15:37
  And I was like, "This is the first night." [laughs] Yeah. And we were giving away beer just to take it with you because we had so much. Step back.
• 15:42
  And then, and then, so, so then the after party house, which isn't actually an after party, it was actually the party before the night of the ra- the day of the race- Yeah... which was...
• 15:49
  we'll, we won't get into that, but so it was a good bar. It w- they had a good band playing. I can't think what the band was that played there. Um, it's an older memory. I can't remember. I was sleeping in a chair.
• 15:57
  I remember we were body surfing bikes, and they took them away. Yep. Twice. And somebody broke in and took them back. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] They, they... Then the, the owner of the bar put, locked them in his office.
• 16:05
  He broke into his office and got them back out there and started body surfing them again. And then they ra- they literally ran out of Pabst. So some dude in, like, a 1978
• 16:15
  Oldsmobile wagon, he goes- [laughs] The, the owner goes, go to him. He goes, "Hey, go with him, and he's gonna get..."
• 16:20
  So we literally went to the liquor store, met the guy there, got all the cases of Pabst and the last keg of Pabst that they had, loaded it into this wagon, this station wagon- [laughs]... and brought it back.
• 16:29
  So we get it back there, and then I unloaded it 'cause the guy I was with was, like, 90 years old, right? So he held, like, one case, and I hauled the rest of them.
• 16:36
  I stacked them all up, got everything ready, stacked the cooler, and I went out front to get a beer, and the fucker charged me for my beer. [laughs] And I'm looking at him like, I'm like, "Are you kidding me?"
• 16:44
  And this little bartender chick that was running, she's, like, looking at him and goes, "You might wanna just give him your beer before he fucking knocks you out."
• 16:52
  Because I'm like, I'm like, seriously, I just left the party, rode with some sketchy old guy to go get... [laughs] Not that I would never judge him. I was gonna say, sketchy old guy. What? What? Yeah. I- What?
• 17:01
  Did you pay for the beer, too? I thought you paid for it. Oh. I thought, I thought that was the thing. You paid for the beer- I did... and then did they charge you for the beer when you bought it? No.
• 17:08
  Yeah, I did, I d- actually did get paid back for the beer, but yeah, I paid... Oh, yeah, don't, 'cause- So you almost paid twice. Yeah. No. Yeah, I did pay twice, actually. That's a bunch of bullshit. Yeah.
• 17:16
  Well, then they started, like, up, up-charging after you went and got it, too, right? Yeah. Then they went from, like, $2.50 a can to $3 a can. This guy was a criminal.
• 17:23
  And then the worst part is, is, like, everything was set up to run out of his bar, and alls I wanted to do was just drag him through his bar by his nuts 'cause he was just, he was such a dick.
• 17:32
  And he, and that place was packed. Ooh. He made a fucking fortune that night. [laughs] He did. Super visual on that one. Thank you. [laughs] Like, just, like, wow. You just grabbed- Yep... nuts and Chewy's ass? Yep, yep.
• 17:42
  I saw that. I've seen it before. [laughs] Like, in color. [laughs] God. In color even? Sorry. Yep. Wow. [laughs] Nice. I like that. So anyway, so that was... Yeah. So we're not gonna have that happen this weekend.
• 17:52
  No way. Do we know anybody that has keys to the liquor store, though? We may need that. I'm just worried because I don't remember...
• 17:58
  I'm gonna call Kerry tomorrow 'cause I have to find out how much beer we bought for, um- Benji's the best... texting. Benji's, Benji...
• 18:06
  Ooh, sh- yeah, we probably shouldn't mention his name out loud, but Benji knows people. [laughs] That's all I need to know. Yeah. No, we'll be fine. I mean, if we drink the Elks out of beer before midnight.
• 18:16
  Now, let me think. The thing's gonna close at midnight, but bars in town are open till 2:00. Um, so we have a, you know, T-Box is cool. Um, Haymarket, I mean, Haymarket's gonna be full of these guys.
• 18:25
  That's g- this is the place. H- Haymarket, Haymarket has... They're the ones we probably should talk to about- Yes... getting more beer on tap. You guys need to give them a heads-up- Oh, yeah...
• 18:32
  that, like, all these people are coming, 'cause poor Brandon- Well-... he is gonna hate you guys... is Brandon gonna be bartending by himself? He, unless you guys tell him, he will be, yeah. Oh, we gotta talk to Brandon.
• 18:40
  We'll talk to Brandon. Yeah. Or talk to Julie. Or worse yet, it'll be, it'll be Cody and Chase.
• 18:42
  I guess, I guess, I guess I'll stay another night in Hog to talk to Brandon one last [laughs] Yeah, it might be Cody and Chase, and you don't want that either. Oh, fuck no.
• 18:47
  And then, uh- Well, we'll, we'll get Jenny to go bartend instead. That's bullshit. Th- those... No. Well, and then your place will be open too.
• 18:54
  So y- your place has a courtyard and an alley, which is, like, four buildings away from the Elks.
• 18:58
  Oh, but also remember, and e- if there's anybody actually listening to this shit, that you cannot drink on the streets in Decorah.
• 19:04
  Because it's a bad thing that we all do, and they just, that's one thing Decorah will not put up with. They do not. Put it in a water bottle. Eh, it's beer. We'll see. Not beer. And, um, this, the, no.
• 19:16
  At this time of night, there's not gonna be that level of consciousness. So, but- [laughs]... we're gonna have probably, we have cops at Mo'n Bike. Mm. We have sheriff's deputies at Mo'n Bike. Yep.
• 19:24
  And, um- Oh, yeah, we, I think we've told that story... Well, we've said that. Don't be a dick. Yeah. Because we have cops, we have, uh, sheriffs, and,
• 19:33
  uh, half the people living in this town are wrestlers, so- [laughs]... [laughs] don't start fucking around with people. You a wrestler?
• 19:40
  [laughs] So, no, we said the conversat- kind of started the conversation with the Elks people was tonight, just so you know, our usual conversation with people like you is, um, this race is coming to your town, it's never coming back again, and we are going to break shit, but it won't be any of your stuff.
• 19:55
  It'll be all of our stuff. Yeah. And that's pretty g- pretty good about that so far. No, they were good. Just be patient and wait for it to be over. I was surprised how much you told them about.
• 20:02
  [laughs] 'Cause I was like- No, they started it. They kind of did. When they started talking about smoking dope, and she was like, "Oh, we can talk about anything." We talked about- Yeah... mushrooms and everything else.
• 20:10
  They're just like, "Oh, okay, that sounds good." Yeah. She wants to see naked dudes. She's single.
• 20:14
  Well, and then, and then the best part was is then I found out that the guy, the dick is also one of the ones that are up at Back to the 50s car show. Vic. Vic? Yeah, not Dick. [laughs] Not Dick. Sorry.
• 20:26
  I was gonna, when you said That Dick, I'm like- [laughs] Oh, no, no... I was like, which one? [laughs] She was, she was talking to That Dick again. I'm a little confused.
• 20:32
  No, so, so I've actually hung out with those guys at Back to the 50s, so he had, he told a gazillion Back to the 50s stories. Yeah. Like- Well, you guys both did.
• 20:41
  I was like, I'm, I'm just gonna go over here for a minute. Sit back. Yeah. Well, y- I'll go home and come back, feed the dogs. You guys'll be just still showing pictures. Oh.
• 20:48
  He's like, get out his phone, "Look at this car." [laughs] There was a lot of that. Like the car I'm gonna buy, though? Huh? Like that car I've been gonna buy? I think so. I just- You look like a station wagon man.
• 20:58
  [laughs] Well, especially when it's got a $11,000 motor in it and it goes faster than shit but it looks like crap, that's exactly what I want. Oh, that hurts. That's painful. [laughs] Please don't...
• 21:07
  Like, what do you think of El Caminos? Oh, God, no. Oh. Fuck, thank you. Well- Really, thank you... no, I- Super Sport El Camino? Oh, God, no. No. No. Are you kidding me?
• 21:14
  You're such a fucking- El Camino in any form- So-... or shape is, like, bad No. I would say- No. The '59s are, the '59s are okay. Is it '59 or '60? They were okay. I would say it was- They kinda got fins on them... '69.
• 21:25
  What are you...? '69. Oh, that's a Ford Ranchero. I don't think the El Caminos ever had fins. No, the f- the old Ran- the old Rancheros look like fucking Falcons. Yeah. They're shitty.
• 21:33
  No, the For- the old El Caminos were, like, pretty styling. [laughs] I'll stick to Jeeps. [laughs] I'm gonna say no. Okay, fine. Anyways. Yeah. So, um, what else was I gonna say?
• 21:45
  Oh, uh, we just started getting into all the stories, like we talked about Alaska, we talked about Texas, we talked about what happened in Maine, we talked about what happened in Bend, um, what happened in Australia.
• 21:54
  And, uh, they were down for all the stories. And they, and they, and they're like, uh, like we're giving away a state bicycle, a clunker. And as we're sitting at the bar, I said, "And you see those stairs?
• 22:04
  Whoever wins it will be riding it down those stairs." And there'll probably be other bikes coming down the stairs. They're like going, "Okay." Yeah. It's like, God, that's what we do.
• 22:11
  That's one thing I was worried about. I looked at the gym floor up there. I'm like, gosh, I hope we don't ding this thing up. The floor? Yeah. Well, we just want the bikes up there. Well, tr... Pff, who's we?
• 22:23
  [laughs] They have your phone number, not mine, so we're all in good shape here, I think. Yeah. Yeah. No, so- What else? So I think, uh, like I was telling you before, is a lot of the guys are coming in Thursday night.
• 22:35
  They're asking- Yeah... if there's anything going on Thursday night. I got it. I think we're, I think we're just gonna drag their ass to, to the Haymarket. I think so, too. And then j- You want me to do it? Oh.
• 22:46
  You- Beer crisp. Ass-saucing beer crisp. Oh, yeah. The voice you hear from the distance is Spinner taking a piss outside his house. Me- I was gonna say something, but I didn't wanna call him out on that.
• 22:58
  Hey, don't lose my dog while you're out there, the one that I forgot to put a collar on. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah. [laughs] Sorry. I thought, I'm being so efficient. I have a leash out there for you and a cooler.
• 23:09
  And I saw that, and I'm like, but like- Yeah... dude, what the fuck am I supposed to hook it up to? I, these hot days, I took his collar off of him, 'cause it was just like, you could tell it was just bugging his...
• 23:17
  And, and, and he's been, he was like a puppy again with his collar off, so I haven't put it back on in like four days. Yeah, so I hooked it to the bandana and said, "Dude, you better not fucking pull this off."
• 23:26
  [laughs] Like, I do not need to explain why I lost you. Oh, I gotta, I gotta- I'm good. At the moment, I'm okay. Thank you, though. Oh, he's... Hey, coaster. Coaster. Did you finish that piña colada? Yes.
• 23:40
  So are- Delicious... the fancy Iowa beer Busch Light Apple. Ooh. Mm. Hey, it's not bad. It's not bad, but it's not like super great. Not great. Yeah. Well, we talked about this too, so- We did...
• 23:49
  um, not necessarily just... Well, when you go, when we went to Texas, everybody's drinking Lone Star. It's like the cheap local beer. Same. Uh, when we went to Single Speed Washington, it was Rainier, right?
• 24:01
  Rainier Beer. Mm-hmm. Is Busch Light the Iowa beer? It kinda is, man. I kinda think it's gonna have to be, because I'm the only Pabst drinker in this town. Well, there's a couple of us. But not Busch Light Apple, though.
• 24:11
  Well, Busch Light Apple's refreshing. [laughs] If, if you look at stats for Winneshiek County in Iowa, they are like the highest population drinker of Busch Light beer Yeah Seriously Oh, believe me.
• 24:23
  Seriously Look at my finger. I will tell you. That... I won't... Yes. Oh, did you just say that out loud? Yeah, look at my finger.
• 24:28
  [laughs] I, I have no-- My fingernail is, my fingernail's ripped like halfway off from opening up cans of fucking Busch Light at Nordic Fest Until you, they give you the like super- When-... cold card...
• 24:37
  when I lived in Madison- Yeah... when, when, uh, the Hawkeyes would come to play the Badgers, and they would-- There was a couple Iowa bars, and like everybody, you walk in and they'd have Hawkeye shit on.
• 24:47
  And the bartenders would be like, "Ah, Busch Light?" [laughs] [laughs] If you're like- Like, "Yes, please. I'll take two." Yeah. [laughs] That's hilarious. What... Okay. And, well- Is that bad?...
• 24:55
  and the cool thing, too, if you wanna really get super Iowa, you get the John Deere brand Busch Light, or the- With the corn cob on it? Yeah. [laughs] But is that- With the corn cob and the AAF...
• 25:04
  is that an always thing, or is that just like occasionally? Oh, no, that's not an often. No. That's just around harvest. Yeah. [laughs] And it was their big- [laughs] Okay... A&F thing, American Easterners.
• 25:13
  I don't know, but I'm now gonna, I mean, now we're gonna go back to Rochester, and I'm gonna send out an email that we're putting on this race.
• 25:18
  [laughs] And, and Busch Light is the beer of Iowa, so can you give me a whole shitload of it? And we'll see what I get. Yeah. No, no, I mean- That would be-... there's pallets of it at Hy-Vee.
• 25:25
  There's pallets of it- Yeah... at Walmart. Um, I don't know if- Well, no, Fair-... Fairway doesn't have pallets, but... What? Uh, they do in the back, I bet. I like the pallets.
• 25:36
  Well, I just, I would just as soon not go driving around town picking up beer in the middle of the night, and I, if I don't have to. Oh, sure. If I could have it delivered ahead of time, I'd be happy. Yeah. Good plan.
• 25:45
  Those pups come back in. Uh- Mm... probably not mine. Nope. He, he might've went home. I hear something. Those- Interesting. Hey. They're probably all having a party outside. A dog, dog party outside. Without you.
• 26:03
  Yeah. And they never feel- Whoo-hoo. So as usual, this is how this works. Like, we don't do shit until like two weeks before. Somebody just fucking leaves and- Yeah... and you're stuck here.
• 26:12
  But the bet- b- the better part of it is, is that we've done these races for so long that we can wait until the last minute.
• 26:20
  I mean, you gotta get sponsors and that kinda stuff, but the rest of it, it's like, eh, we'll figure it out when it gets closer. Everybody gets it. They just show up. Yeah.
• 26:24
  Well, and Spinner's been so busy with all the other stuff going on in town here now, it's like I've been afraid to even call him. Especially now that he's joined the cult, so.
• 26:34
  But he wasn't at, was he, was that tonight's meeting? It wasn't at last night's meeting, was he? [laughs] He's not in those meetings. Yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's, uh, he's [laughs] he's only a, a plebe in the cult.
• 26:45
  [laughs] He's, he's, he's- He's, he's-... he's PM level. [laughs] Hi, deliverer. Hey. There's one. There's two. Ah. Quit following- Up, up. Yeah, look at Hank. He's like, "I, I'm just following the girls around.
• 26:58
  I'm good." Dickhead. Smart boy. He is. Smart boy. This is, like coming to Decorah is like his, his, his free time. He doesn't have the two little corgis chasing his ass around.
• 27:11
  He, I don't put him on a leash for shit [laughs] down here. So he, he's like, "Yeah, I like this life." He knows where he's going. I mean, he, he wasn't wandering too far. He's out- No...
• 27:19
  up on top of the hill, but I said, I called his name, he came back down. He's good about that. His smell is going. He's got so much gray in him now. Anyway, we're, we're bragging about nothing. Yeah. Oh. Nothing at all.
• 27:31
  Yeah. That's a good topic- Yeah... to brag about. Yep. Um, what else was I gonna say? I don't know. You got a whole list of shit over there to do. Is there anything we need to r- remember that? Uh, pull out the notebook.
• 27:40
  We'll put everything out on the blog for us. There you go. There you go. Because this is just nothing but rambling right now. No, well, I was just talking like, um, the, what I'm doing on Instagram is k- not on course.
• 27:51
  So the trails that we have here that will not be on course, uh, today was Pulpit Rock, and I know I've done, um, Olanife Springs. We're gonna, we still have Dunning Springs that's not on course.
• 28:02
  Uh, Palisades Trail's not on course. Um, Twin Springs' not on course.
• 28:06
  So there's a lot of really cool stuff that's not in the race that hopefully people when they come, you know, if they wanna get out and if we do a beer crit or something, or if we don't do a beer crit, there's a lot of places to ride that isn't involved in the course.
• 28:16
  So, um, yeah, I hope if people get here and they, they go out and they see other things, and they don't just sit in their Airbnb and get hammered until the race starts. [laughs] That's not gonna happen. No.
• 28:29
  But- They're gonna go down town and get hammered, and then go back to their Airbnb. And then go back to the Airbnb. Yeah, yeah. Good plan.
• 28:33
  And another thing here too is like all our parks, there's so many parks in town, but they're kinda smaller parks.
• 28:38
  It's not like when we went out to Maine, and there's like, okay, there's this big-ass mountain, and we're gonna ride the whole goddamn thing and come back. Right. Or like Washington, same way.
• 28:45
  Well, and, and, you know, and don't forget all the trails that you're riding on are in, are in the city of Decorah. Yeah. These are in city limits. Yeah.
• 28:51
  This is city limits and, and, and built by Decorah Human Powered Trails- Yeah... for lack of better- The T-shirts do say, "Handmade volunteer single track." Yes, because there's- Built, built not bought...
• 29:01
  because there, because there are [laughs] there has never been a gas-powered vehicle other than, other than cutting trees. There's... Well, we should talk about that too. Um- Well, chainsaws...
• 29:11
  but there's n- never been- Weed eaters... there's never been anything- Lawn mowers... that's dug into the [laughs] well, lawn mowers cut the grass. We don't worry about that. No excavators. We don't have excavators here.
• 29:18
  No, it's, yeah. But- It's all shovels and picks... and we, and we spent a week and a half? Oh, uh, oh, get the trees out? Trees out, yeah.
• 29:27
  Uh- So we have things in Iowa called a derecho, and I, they don't know if this last one was a derecho, but it's straight-line winds the same speed as hurricane winds.
• 29:35
  That's what fucked up Cedar Rapids a couple years ago. Yep. And, um, that's all the trees that we had down here. So people were talking about that. I don't know if it was officially called a derecho or not, but- No.
• 29:45
  Somebody came, 'cause it, in Decorah everything winds up being a, a, it was a, how do you... It was a combination Decorah and tornado together. Oh. That wasn't derecho? I bet it- No, maybe it was. Okay.
• 29:57
  [laughs] It looked like Decorah tana- tornado. I don't know. Yeah. I bet it was a derecho, so. But yeah, so we had at least 100 trees down. I, myself, I probably cut, I bet I cut 30 out.
• 30:08
  Um, and I know there's a lot of guys that cut out, and we had big days of, man, like- That-... 40, 40 people out there like moving trees. That, did you, did you go up to the top of, um,
• 30:19
  whatever the trail, the last one I went up with Doug and those guys and worked on? Did you go out and see that tree that came down? Oh, up on, uh, CVX or whatever that- Oh, cross country... cross country.
• 30:28
  Yeah, cross country. Did you see that tree? No, I haven't been up to it. It's insane, and it went across, it, there's a switchback up there, and it went across three trails. Yeah.
• 30:35
  And we worked on that thing for I don't know how fucking long. But it was like Brandon was a, was a rockstar with the, with the-...
• 30:41
  with a saw, and we got like [laughs] we were calling it the fireman's bucket 'cause we like had a line of people and it was like pass, pass, pass this old log in the woods.
• 30:48
  Like- [laughs] I know, and I get, I get this weird idea 'cause like, of course, you know me, I could see down to the bottom of the hill and it's like, "Well, we could roll this shit." This big old oak tree, right?
• 30:55
  We should be able to roll that shit down to the bottom of the hill and burn it some time. Yeah. Didn't quite make it. No. But it's closer. Okay. There's a lot of dead fall out there. Oh, it's ridiculous.
• 31:04
  A lot of woods have been owned, yeah. That, that area especially, there's tons. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think, no, it's all clear as far as I know. Everything, everything that we ride is... No one trail we gotta rebuild.
• 31:14
  It's an old trail that you'll probably remember, but not everybody knows about. Um, we gotta open it back up. Sure. And just to pass, just so there's not two-way traffic. I'll tell you about it later. No. Okay. Oh, yeah.
• 31:25
  It's a secret. Se- a secret? Secret, yeah. Yeah. This is- You're gonna have to wait... but this is Chewy's podcast. This is the best place to tell a secret 'cause nobody's gonna fucking listen. Yeah, yeah.
• 31:32
  [laughs] Anybody, any- anybody- Then why don't you tell the whole story? [laughs] I feel like we're ready. Anybody that listens to it d- [laughs]...
• 31:37
  is in their car listening to it, so we don't have to worry about anything, yeah. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, it's just me and Chewy just driving somewhere. Yeah. That's the only time I listen to it. [laughs] No, I...
• 31:45
  And Bergie, that's when he only listens to it when he's going someplace. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it works out well. Yeah. No, so yeah, we got that figured out. Um, it should be good. I was feeling a little
• 31:56
  weird about it last week. Well, I met with Andy from Park and Rec because there was a chance that we, that this was... Well, it's official, and it's approved. [laughs] Well, it's- Just to say that...
• 32:09
  and, and, and, you know, and generally speaking, it, it's happened pretty much, I... Even World has happened a lot. You, you, we used to never say anything.
• 32:19
  When this f- whole, whole mess, Single Speed stuff first started, you never said anything. You just showed up into a town and did something, and they're all like, "What the fuck?"
• 32:24
  And then it was like, "Well, that was cool," and then we were gone, right? Just poof, gone. And, and you're gone, and you don't have to worry about it.
• 32:28
  And then, I don't know, some of the different places, you know, I know like when they did it in, um, Boulder City,
• 32:35
  um, when Jake and those guys did it out there in, in Colorado, and it was, all of a sudden we're riding on federal property, right?
• 32:41
  And so all of a sudden now there's a thing if you have over so many people, it costs you this much, and so many more people. So it's like we had to literally limit how many riders they had.
• 32:51
  I think they only had 100 riders, and then they couldn't go over 75 people watching because then the- then the price just went right through the roof, and nobody could m- That's crazy. Yeah.
• 32:59
  Oh, yeah, but that's how they are out there. Wow. And it was, and it was, it was a really cool race 'cause you went up over 10,000 feet and then back down again, so it was weird riding to start with.
• 33:09
  But that kinda got it started where people started like, "Well, I gotta kinda check in," and you kinda ran into the same thing and- Yeah...
• 33:15
  and, [laughs] and the fact is, is that we, you know, we're in Texas, we don't give a shit 'cause, A, we're on a ranch, and B, we don't live there, so what do we care, right? But that's not the case here, no.
• 33:23
  Well, yeah, there's a saying like, like that animals don't shit where they sleep. And like it, for us, it should be you don't host where you live. [laughs] When it comes to Single Speed USA.
• 33:33
  [laughs] I think, I think- That's like a big oops for you, isn't it? Yeah. I think the w- yeah. It was d- I, I immediately regretted it as soon as after.
• 33:39
  I was like, "Oh, I'll go for Iowa," because I just moved to Iowa, and then it won, and I was like, "Oh, no." [laughs] Ah, shit, what did I do? The, the drive back, the, the, that was the conversation the whole way back.
• 33:50
  Should we, should we like take this someplace else in Iowa? [laughs] Like we, "Okay, we can bring it to Iowa. We didn't say it was gonna be in Decorah. We could go somewhere else, but- Give it to them like New Hampton...
• 33:57
  let's throw it in Dubuque." Yeah. [laughs] I don't know. Yeah. It was horrible. Well, we- It, it'll be fine. It- Everybody's gonna have fun. That's the cool thing.
• 34:05
  Ev- Everybody's gonna come here and see how cool Decorah is, and I hope they really like the trails. Oh, they will. I think it, it's gonna be hard not to. They...
• 34:12
  I remember even I think Single Speed Winona, you brought DJ, Carrie, um, and some other people down here. Um- Oh, yeah. Uh, Dirty came down and rode. They came, uh...
• 34:21
  They might've come before, but a lot of people came down after Winona and came down here for a day and rode and stuff, and they're just like, "This is fucking amazing."
• 34:28
  And actually, I'll tell you right now, the trails are way better now than they were back then. Yeah. You know? So it's, it's more flowy. Way more. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very technical term, isn't it? Super flowy.
• 34:38
  Uh, no, it's, it, it's this thing with spinner, and I hate the most. Let's make a flowy trail. How about you fuck off? Let's make a flowy trail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that was all... That climb was so hard.
• 34:46
  Can we do this and make it more flowy? I thought I'd get rid of fucking flowy when Travis mo- or Traver- Trevor moved to, uh, Colorado, but no, it's still here. Yeah.
• 34:56
  Oh, Hollywood just sent me a picture, and I made it the, the Facebook topper. This is the derby with, um- Oh, that's the Winona derby. No, that's- No, this is Levis. That's Levis, yeah. That's Christy and, uh, Fiona.
• 35:10
  Yeah. And that's Hollywood and DJ standing by his side. [laughs] Yeah. That's cool. Fiona's the other one that won the belt a couple times, doesn't she? Did she win it there, or did she win it somewhere else?
• 35:20
  Um- Uh, Christy won it there... I think Christy did that. I think Winona w- Yeah... or Fiona won the one before. She was hard to knock off a bike. I mean, her... Plus, A, her bike is like tiny. Yeah. You know?
• 35:31
  And, and then, and she's just small and super strong, so it's like this, "Don't, don't fuck with the Irish girl." [laughs] There's something to be said for that. Oh, yeah. Well, Christy's probably Norwegian.
• 35:44
  Don't fuck with her either. [laughs] Yeah, true. Well, I ran into that problem already. Yeah. [laughs] No, it's gonna be, it's gonna be fun. And, uh, Hollywood keeps posting he's excited to come down here.
• 35:54
  The band's gonna have fun. Oh, he's pumped. There's a... Because, because there's a lot of, um, you know, with pandemic and stuff, I think it kinda fell apart a little bit.
• 36:04
  And then being in Maine, not a lot of people went to Maine. There was a bunch of us that did, but I... You still have to admit, the Midwest people travel the best. Yeah.
• 36:10
  Maybe the Phoenix guys are probably right there with us, but the Midwest people are the ones, like, that will go anywhere else. You know, you always have a, wherever it's at, you always have a band of that.
• 36:20
  But Maine was mostly Maine except for a few of us. But I think- Yeah, there's a lot of locals out there. Yeah. Well, fucking a country as big as a county, or not a country, a state's as big as a county here.
• 36:33
  I mean, Winneshiek County's probably as big as Rhode Island. [laughs] Well, that's true. Yeah. Or Vermont. Yeah. I mean, you could fit all those states into Iowa.
• 36:39
  But then when you look at the, the range that we have here, Wis- Wisconsin, Minnesota, uh, Michigan, Iowa, Illinois Um, really good at drinking- Wow... and it's not that far here. I mean, it's not cities.
• 36:54
  So, um, they'll be here, and everybody knows Decorah. And I think a lot of people are scared of Decorah around here too because, because of the hills that we have, and they know what the riding's like.
• 37:02
  And this is some of the toughest stuff around, and it's easier to go to Cuyuna or Arkansas, um, you know, and ride Bentonville than it is to come here for a day and get the crap beat out of you.
• 37:16
  [laughs] Because, you know, our trails are tough, and it is volunteer single track, and then a lot... Some of our trails are 20 years old, and they haven't been improved. We haven't put a machine on them.
• 37:25
  They were built with literally picks, shovels, and a 30-pack of beer. Well- That's what a lot of our trails are made of... that was a good one. That was a good one. Um, uh, well, and- She is-...
• 37:33
  and our, and our argument always has been, and I know you and I just- How many times are you gonna do that? Is that one can? He opened, like, four times. Yeah. It is. But it's the most- I've been working hard today.
• 37:42
  I'm kind of weak. [laughs] Maximum benefit from, like, one can of beer. Wow. Um, part of our conversation was is that... and not to slam IMBA, but I'm gonna slam IMBA.
• 37:53
  They come in, they put in a four-foot-wide trail to eventually have- It's six foot wide now. Is it six foot wide? Yeah. Fuck those guys. What are they thinking? [laughs] Honest to God.
• 38:02
  That's the nice thing about Decorah too, is 'cause we have a new set of land, another, like, 200 acres that was just donated, that we wanna do the IMBA shit out there- Yeah...
• 38:10
  so that we can keep our classic single track left alone. Um- Yeah... that's the goal. No, I know. I, I, it makes total sense to me, and I don't get why IMBA... Not everything is about a fucking race.
• 38:23
  Even, even when we raced, we didn't build trails to race on. You know, you had to, like, make sure there's places to pass, but you never built trails to race anyone. You built trails to go ride. Yeah.
• 38:33
  And you had to make them so that you don't... I mean, think about it. The Pine Tree section's been there for what? 20-some years. Oh, yeah.
• 38:38
  And we're just kind of thinking about do we need to change a few things, but they're, they've been sustainable all the way through. Mother's Day, who'd have thought that that shit would've lasted? And we didn't dig it
• 38:48
  four feet wide.
• 38:48
  It's just, it's just a nice little trail, and we built it right, and we took into consideration runoff and all that kind of stuff, and it's- Well- And the places that we have problems, we knew we were gonna have problems, but we just said, "We'll just have to take care of it."
• 38:59
  That's all there is to it. It's a little bit iterative- [laughs]... iterative, I guess I would say, where y- you build and we learn, and we build and we learn.
• 39:05
  Like, I definitely build trails different today than I did five years ago or 10 years ago. I know it's different, like, when I go help out at Levis, when we build there.
• 39:13
  When you're building on sand, it's different than what we have here, which is off-camber dirt full of rock. Right.
• 39:17
  And I think what IMBA is doing is maybe what they have to do because they're building trails in communities for people who don't understand trails.
• 39:25
  So if you go to a Park and Rec meeting, and you have a bunch of people that maybe hike a little bit or, you know, they got on the board and they're being political.
• 39:32
  They don't understand what works and what doesn't, but you could present this like, "Oh, this will be sustainable forever if you make it six feet wide and fucking stupid and boring and straight."
• 39:41
  Yeah, but, but they're six feet wide just to eventually make it oh, so it's only two feet wide, and it grows back in itself. Why don't you just build it correctly to start with? That's my point.
• 39:49
  Well, yeah, but how are you gonna explain that to somebody who doesn't understand any, any trails? [laughs] Well, we can do it now because you've been out taking pictures. I know.
• 39:55
  And then it's like, "Look, this trail's been here forever, and it's never washed away." I am fighting an uphill battle. [laughs] Yeah, you are. Yeah. I mean, we always will.
• 40:01
  I mean- I am getting traction, but I'm gonna worn out. [laughs] It doesn't take long. Yeah.
• 40:06
  And you know, and, and, and, and I have a g- uh, it's probably me just being cynical like I am, but I always say, I always get pissed off and go, "You can tell you're not IMBA trail.
• 40:16
  I don't give a fuck if it's in Washington, if it's in, if it's in New York, if it's in W- if it's in, um, Florida on the Keys." [laughs] Never mind. This is inside joke. I hope that's gonna be a thing. Yeah.
• 40:27
  It's gonna be. I don't think it's gonna be involved in this, but it's gonna be a thing. But anyway, you go to those trails and I jump on the trails and go, "This is an IMBA trail." Yep.
• 40:35
  It's different scenery, but it's the same fucking trail just with different trees growing around it. Yeah. You're not like that. Well, hang on.
• 40:42
  I gotta go get a beer 'cause last guy that went to the fridge didn't ask if anybody needed one. So, um- Well, who would that be? Oh. Yeah. I'll be right back. Okay. You're gonna leave me?
• 40:52
  You're gonna leave- Yeah, 'cause you're the guy that didn't b- get the beer for everybody else. She- So yeah, he's gonna leave you. No, I'm fine. I just got a beer. No, I'm g- You got up and got a beer. Oh, shit.
• 41:01
  Yeah, I do need one please. Yes, please. Thank you. Well, wh- See, look at that. Look how nice that is. Gentlemen. Oh, thank you. I really appreciate that. Fine. I'll go home.
• 41:09
  I'm gonna take my podcasting stuff and go home. Wait. Is my dog still here? It's over there. I would like to see you do a podcast by yourself. [laughs] Drunk.
• 41:17
  After bar, when you get home tonight, after Hamann leaves you. Oh. [laughs] Well, the funny part is, is, like... So I, you know, I, I actually have a buddy that, that has, is running for, uh, county commissioner. Yeah.
• 41:32
  And I'm like, "Have you ever heard yourself speak?" [laughs] And he goes, "Why?" I go, "'Cause we listened to you on the League of Women Voters." [laughs] And he was so bad, after two questions we quit listening to him.
• 41:43
  This is the guy you were coaching in the bar the other day? [laughs] It's, so Sunday night he's g- 'Cause I'm sure that went over well. Well, Sunday n- Oh, boy. No, no, no.
• 41:49
  Yeah, so Sunday night we basically told him, "You really suck." [laughs] "So if you get through the primaries, we are gonna make you use this stuff.
• 41:55
  We're gonna tape you and then go home and listen to yourself and work on that shit," 'cause it was, it was... I, I- Come to the bar about 8:00, and we will so help you with your speech. Well, that's what I'm thinking.
• 42:06
  I, I'm thinking- Great plan... I'm thinking we do a really good podcast from the 63 Club, so we could probably drag him up there. I'm just- Have him have a bit?
• 42:13
  Yeah, just get him up there, get him drunk, have him do a podcast. Yikes. And we'll post that for his, for his, like, his, his, um, you know, whatever you call it. I don't do politics, so I don't know what it is.
• 42:24
  [laughs] And then, and then, and then [laughs] oh, I could tell you about that. I, uh, I... sooner- Bad idea all the way around...
• 42:29
  soon, soon I rode bikes to Shewona to go vote today, and I get up there, and the guy, he goes, "What are you doing?" I go, "Waiting for my wife to get out of voting. Are you done?" He goes, "I don't fucking vote."
• 42:39
  [laughs] Oh, no. [laughs] That didn't go well. I've seen that a few times. A, A in front of a church and, [laughs] and, and to a guy that's out there waving a sign saying, "Come here to vote."
• 42:46
  It's like, "Get out of here." Yeah. But, um- But yeah, he's... A- and then so between him and then my, and my hockey players who are horrible.
• 42:55
  They're taking speech classes, and I have no fucking clue what they're teaching those guys in speech classes. They don't, they can't talk. It takes... Yeah, you gotta learn how to talk.
• 43:02
  So I'm like, "So we're gonna use this." So we're looking to take... They're just gonna take this. We're gonna set it up at the rink, and they're gonna go up as a group, and they're gonna go do their own podcast.
• 43:12
  They're, they're just gonna take them home. I don't think we're gonna post them anywhere. Well, we might eventually maybe at the school or something, but for right now they're just gonna go, "You guys..."
• 43:19
  My kids all sat with a hockey stick. They everybody had a hockey stick and interviewed each other.
• 43:24
  I haven't had one of those- 'Cause they were going to the state high school hockey tournament, or they're gonna go to, they're gonna go to NHL, whatever. And they interviewed each other, right? Sure.
• 43:30
  And so these kids don't do that. And we're like, "How do you not do that?" And so we're gonna go. So we're gonna give them fancy equipment to do the same thing because I guess that's what they need nowadays.
• 43:39
  We'll see how it works. Maybe it's a little bit less pressure environment, too. They feel more comfortable in the rink than they do- Yeah... anywhere else. Yeah. No, I...
• 43:45
  There's, there's a room at the rink that we can use, and we're just gonna leave this set up there, and they're just gonna go. It might become where we do podcasts for a while, too, just because it's- Cool...
• 43:53
  it's kind of a nice setup. It works well, and we can, we can actually watch hockey and drink beer at the same time. So this is awesome. God, okay. What? Oh. I think he just dropped his phone. I...
• 44:04
  Well, I'm trying to figure out how to transfer- Well, I don't know. I, I hate to say this, but I just looked over there and his nuts are laying on top of his phone. Yeah. I, I- So-... pinched my phone with my nuts.
• 44:11
  [laughs] Thank God I'm sitting on this side of the table. Did you... Did you... I was gonna say, "Do you wanna switch chairs?" [laughs] Wait just a second. I'll be right over. Uh, uh, uh. All right. Okay.
• 44:19
  We're at 45 minutes. Anything else you wanna say? Oh, Jesus. Now he needs- Well-... his piece of paper... we can do a high level of everything. Yeah, 'cause, well- Okay... so- Run through.
• 44:30
  Run through starting on Thursday. On Thursday, you get to town. Um, I don't care. I'm not gonna talk to you. Come find me. If I see you at the bar, I'm gonna say, "Hey." That's it.
• 44:39
  So- Haymarket See you at the, see you at the Haymarket? At the Haymarket. Nothing official. Haymarket, yeah. Oh, Dollar PBR is at the Haymarket- Oh, yes... on Thursdays. Yeah. So that's a big thing.
• 44:46
  Uh- And put in re- put in your reservations so that we can make sure there's an extra bartender there so we don't... So the best bartender in town is Brandon. Yeah. Brandon. Woo.
• 44:54
  And, and he will be there, your Haymarket bartender, and you're gonna love the guy to death, but we need to not kill him. Yeah, we're not- Yeah. Well, I will say this, and this has happened before.
• 45:05
  This happens every time I put on an event. You ask for registrations because does everybody know what registration means? And I was like, "Oh, I'm coming. I'm not coming."
• 45:12
  Well, when I know you're coming, now I've ordered- I've planned for you... swag for you. Yes. I have a T-shirt in your size. I have, like, koozies, and I plan for beer, and I tell many... tell people how many are coming.
• 45:23
  And, you know, right off the bat, like Dirty and Matt are like, "Well, fuck bike reg," you know, because whatever.
• 45:29
  I'm like, okay, so we have two guys that don't wanna register that are gonna come, so, you know, I know their T-shirt size. Or I ordered shit for them because they're gonna bring cash. You did? Yes. Should I not have?
• 45:40
  Well, I did. Well, for, well, for one of them for sure. Okay. We can just wrestle them and be like, "This is what you get." [laughs] I don't know. I told, I told people, "You're not getting shit.
• 45:48
  You can come give us money. You're not getting anything." Well- Well, I mean, that's the thing. It's- Do you wanna use my fingernails? When, when you get to this level- Give me that. Um- Yes, please...
• 45:57
  this level of volunteer, 'cause this is like... yeah, this isn't our regular jobs. So when you put on this event, you gotta realize how many people- So am I with this one... are coming and plan for- Go ahead. God.
• 46:05
  It's a, it was a light can. Thanks. It, it wasn't a strong one. Are you guys good? So yeah, we got... Sorry. Uh, uh, back to you. Continue. Hey, we can have this... We, we know- Continue...
• 46:13
  [laughs] we can have Greg cut this out. [laughs] Well, no. I mean, it's just like when you do a registration, the reason you do a registration is so you can plan for how many people are coming, you know?
• 46:22
  So many people have reached out after and been like, "Oh, I forgot registration. I didn't reg- Mm... hey, I'm coming up anyway." Like, whatever. It's like, what do you charge somebody?
• 46:30
  So I think we did 45 bucks, and they're like, bike reg takes like five bucks per person, 40 bucks a person, you know, and the schwag is gonna cost us over 30 bucks. [laughs] So I don't know.
• 46:40
  I can't guarantee you're gonna get anything. What do I charge these people that I can't guarantee you? Same price. They'll fucking learn sooner or later. Okay. Especially a couple of those guys fucking know better.
• 46:48
  I might do 40 bucks. It's just like two $20 bills. I don't wanna fuck with fives, tens, or whatever. How do they even learn if it's the same price? Huh? They don't learn. So charge them more. We, we don't learn.
• 46:57
  I would- So charge them more. Well- Like, why charge them the same price as the guy- Well, here's the thing... that's not gonna come? Charge them more and not give them anything.
• 47:01
  Not that, not that I'm gonna throw anybody under the bus, but I guarantee you'll never see a fucking nickel out of Dirty until, until he hears this podcast. Otherwise, that fucker would never pay you a nickel. What?
• 47:09
  Well, he's gotta listen to something on the way. Huh? But no.
• 47:11
  [laughs] Well, I just, I'm just saying that I don't wanna charge more and give them less, and at the same time I don't wanna have 500 people here when I told the city there's gonna be 200. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I...
• 47:22
  It's- It's their secret. Yeah. Oh, no. [laughs] Wouldn't it be fun to send them home? So if someone's like- Turn them away... "I'm sorry, you were cut. Go away. And you can't use your hotel either.
• 47:31
  I don't care if you got a hotel room. Go away." [laughs] You cut, like, on a kickball team. [laughs] Ow. I've obviously had too much to drink- [laughs]... to that point. Um- Never seen that...
• 47:40
  so anyway, Thursday's gonna be s- Thursday's gonna be at Haymarket. Friday- Friday there'll be some around town stuff and, and- There'll be hanging around town, going on trails...
• 47:47
  I would like to encourage people to go tubing. So- Oh, yeah... it's an Iowa thing. Kayaking. So w- Kayaking. Nope, nope. Kayaking's too much work. What?
• 47:56
  Um, so tubing, basically we have this thing, Chattahoochee Beach, outside of town, and I think it's... What is the Chattahoochee Beach to the Fifth Avenue Bridge? Like a mile and a half, two miles?
• 48:07
  Oh, it's a little more than that probably. Probably, I would say two- Two miles max... but it's like a two-hour float. And that's the thing that we do here in Iowa.
• 48:13
  You sit your ass in an inner tube, you take a cooler of beer, and you just float down the river, and you get out. And the cool thing is when you get out down there, that's at the trailhead. Yeah.
• 48:21
  So that's where the race starts. Yep, exactly. Um, so there's a lot of places to rent tubes. If you come in Friday and it's hot, please do that.
• 48:29
  I'm really worried because the last, like, two out of the last four weekends we got four inches of rain here. Great. I'm hoping the rain is done by the time everybody gets here.
• 48:38
  [sniffs] 'Cause this race is going rain or shine. I don't have a rain plan. I mean- You can't... there is no rain plan. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, yeah.
• 48:47
  So Friday's gonna be open- We do know somebody that lives on a hill, though, that we could have everybody stay at their house if it gets too-[laughs] You looking at me? Yeah. [laughs] Oh, good.
• 48:56
  I thought he was talking about me. Fucking bring it on. Fucking bring it. Right? [laughs] You could put... You could maybe get two tents in your backyard out of the only level spots there is. Hey, yeah, there's...
• 49:04
  My, I have a big backyard- We could cut by the- Huh?... but it's extremely wooded... tents in my backyard, and there's a whole open space out there I know.
• 49:09
  You sent that picture, and it's like, wow, there's a ton of places for people to sleep. You just invited 200 people to b- your backyard. Yeah. You realize that?
• 49:15
  I'm gonna like put these kids like- They're not g- they're not, they're not going because there's no bar there. But I'm actually thinking- You're gonna go there and stay so you can tell them to go? [laughs] No.
• 49:25
  [laughs] Didn't you guys just talk about getting, like, pallets of beer? Can't you just, like, shuffle them to the next spot? Oh, yeah. We can. We can. Yeah. I'm gonna back a truck.
• 49:32
  No, I might have some- They're creative, funny guys... I might have, uh, my dog stay somewhere else so that my house can be utilized. I'm not bringing a dog. You should board them at Kennyridge Kennels. Yeah. Yeah.
• 49:42
  I'll do something. Just saying. Yeah. I'm not gonna have dogs, so I'll... I have a back- I, I think my backyard is full of tents now. Oh. So baby, I might have a couple- Captain's Airbnb, just don't tell him.
• 49:51
  [laughs] Oh my God. I, I suggested we do this podcast from his, from his fucking party porch tonight. Oh. What'd he say? [laughs] I d- Like, I talked to him.
• 50:00
  [laughs] I told- He didn't ask, and I was like, "Should I show up, too?" Like, just- Oh, boy... a little bit after the fact. [laughs] He'll listen to this. Oh, yeah. No, he won't. Oh, he's in. Oh. He's in on this.
• 50:09
  Is he gonna help? He's registered. He paid to race. Really? Yeah. I mean, 'cause he, he always pays, and he never races, and he kinda helps. I mean, he does, he does kinda help, you know, but I, I just didn't wanna...
• 50:23
  I didn't wanna... I d- I don't wanna, I don't wanna put him out by taking, like, start sending shit to his house because he's home and we're not, you know, type of thing. He's not home. He works.
• 50:31
  He's retired, but he's- He works a lot, I think. Yeah, yeah, I think he works every day. But- Um-... he, he can grab stuff out of my yar- out of my yard, and I keep telling people- I can, too. We walk.
• 50:41
  All right My dogs love walking to your house. Oh, yeah? They hate when nobody's there. [laughs] We do that all the time. [laughs] 'Cause it's just like down here, over, over, over, and they like...
• 50:49
  Vivian always wants to go to your house. And then we get there, and I'm like, "Nobody's home, Viv." And we- Well-... and we go past the middle school... Holly does, because she knows exactly where- Aw... the dog food is.
• 50:56
  She, like, walks in the house- [laughs]... and goes right to the dog food and just dying for it. Yeah. Yeah. So what was I saying? Oh, yeah. No. Friday'll be fun. Go tubing. Saturday will be race day.
• 51:08
  Well, and there might be a beer crit Friday. Friday? [gasps] Tweet that. Either at- Tweet it... either at Twin Springs or Log Jam on the top of Palisades. Ooh, that'd be fun, too.
• 51:18
  'Cause that's, those are the two roughly one mile loops in town- Yep... that, uh- We could always do the hotdog one from my house. You could do that, too. Oh, we're not doing that. Why?
• 51:28
  I just think about Jenny and how she's gonna carry the hot dog. [laughs] I forgot about that. I have no idea what that means- How could you?... but I'm not really sure- [laughs] Yeah... that I wanna know. Huh?
• 51:38
  [laughs] I said I have no idea what that means, but I'm not sure I wanna know. Yeah, you do. You'd do the same thing. No, you would not. [laughs] What? I don't even... Like, w- I- You don't think she would?
• 51:46
  I cannot comment on that. Well, she's not gonna eat it- No, you were-... but you can. Somebody else can eat it, but she's not gonna- [laughs]... when she s- when she gets it back. [laughs] What? [laughs] Yeah. Anyways.
• 51:58
  Yeah. Like, moving on. So I heard you're drinking your own brushing non-Bush Light. Moving on. Next- Yep... next question. I think, I think, I do think we should make Busch Light the beer. All right.
• 52:06
  I think- The beer of champions. Well- For the race... like, Lone Star, Rainier, I think Busch Light is the Iowa beer. All right. B- Busch Light is the, is the beer of Iowa. Done. Single, the Single Speed Championship.
• 52:16
  Yeah. And, um, just watch the Facebook page 'cause you're gonna keep putting updates on there. Yeah. Keep putting updates. 'Cause- I got a couple of, um- You've been doing really good. I'm impressed... um, yeah, the
• 52:29
  sponsorships are coming up. I got four more to go. Um, I think that's kind of the thing. People are like, "Oh, shit, this is gonna be cool, man. I wanna go." Sorry, registration closed a month ago. Um, no, two weeks ago.
• 52:43
  758 people reached in this thing I just posted. Oh my God. That's crazy. What? Yeah. I mean, people must be sharing. Is that like a Facebook- Yeah, because you don't, you don't have that many friends. No.
• 52:53
  Well, this is Single Speed. This isn't me. Well, but they know it's you. Okay. Well, yeah, they know it's me. Okay. It was DJ they- 762. Did you boost it? Huh? Did you boost it? No. I don't pay for anything. Okay.
• 53:06
  This is just the page. The right people are looking at this. We don't have to boo- we don't have to boost. You guys are toss with the boosts. I think the pe- [laughs] This is the nice thing, the pe- Fuck, sorry. Dudes...
• 53:13
  the people that are gonna come are gonna- Seriously, I, you're new to this. I understand. [laughs] But, you know, really. [laughs] I did not realize I was in the presence of such coolness. [laughs] Shit. You're welcome.
• 53:22
  [laughs] I am blessed. Do you even have a single speed? Fucking blessed. You do now. I do now. Yes. She... No, I don't know. I don't even know what to call that thing.
• 53:30
  It is the most blinged out fucking clunker I've ever seen in my life. It's fucking awesome. And it's not even done yet. She wants me to do, uh, spokes. I told you I wouldn't make you do that.
• 53:39
  Yeah, but you're, uh, you're secretly in the back of your mind going, "Do it. Do it." That's why I gave you that whole 50 bucks back. [laughs] I know. Like, dude, listen to me. Fucking wait.
• 53:49
  We're gonna be, we're gonna be sitting around drinking- It's so fucking rad... putting rainbow colored spokes on her bike next. It's so pretty, though. Yeah. I know it. So pretty. [laughs] Okay. So- All right...
• 53:59
  is there anything else that people need to know for Single Speeds? Not really. I mean, if you're- No... coming, great. If, if you haven't registered and you would like to come, you're welcome to come.
• 54:07
  Um, I can't guarantee you're gonna get swag. Um- You can always go ride the course 'cause it's an open course. You can go hang out with the guys and ride around if you want to. Trails are open. Yeah.
• 54:13
  We'll have it marked, um, and yeah. And it's gonna be fun. If you- It's gonna be fun... if, if you're not registered and you show up, you better bring lots of beer. There you go. Nice. How's that sound? Yes, please.
• 54:23
  Fair enough? Don't be a dick. Enough. Yeah. Don't be a dick. That applies to the race course, and applies to the rest of the town, and I say this as a friend to you. Don't be a dick in this town.
• 54:32
  [laughs] There's, ugh- We know-... we, I don't know how many sheriff's deputies we have. We have a lot, but, and they're cool, and they will totally work with you, but just don't be a dick, and take care of your friends.
• 54:41
  But they will also kick your ass if they have to, or if they- Yes, they will... if you make them. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, it's like- Yeah... it's like they understand everything.
• 54:46
  Like, I, we can go on and on about stories they've done for us specifically. Well, they've been drunk in my garage. I've been drunk in their garage. Yeah. Yep. And the same thing.
• 54:53
  It's like, and they understand, but if, if, if you're out of line- Yeah... you will wake up in a glass box in the, you know, the county magistrate. [laughs] And they don't get in until 11:00 AM, and- Yes...
• 55:02
  I'm not telling you how I know that. Oh. On Monday. No, no, no, no, no. That's on- On Monday. On Monday. [laughs] Yeah, you- On Monday... assuming they weren't on vacation.
• 55:08
  Then they say- 'Cause if they're on vacation, you stay until they get back from vacation. Then you, yep, then you get there even longer. And then you say, "Can I have my one phone call?"
• 55:13
  And they're like, "You already had it." I'm like, "I need somebody to feed my dogs." I'm like... Mm, yep. Boom, done. Can Spinner use your phone? [laughs] [laughs] All right. Let's get out of here. All right.
• 55:23
  Nice job, you guys. We'll, uh, see everybody in, uh, two weeks maybe. Week and a half. Week and a half? Well, it'll be a week by the time this gets posted, so we'll see you guys in a week. All right.
• 55:32
  [rock music]