Latest / overslept w/ chris laker / its like cough medicine- sep 24 2026
Transcript
- Chris Laker: Tonight at 7 30, Lyric Hyperion. I'm going to be on this show, Jenna Friedman and Friends. I forgot. So I didn't tell you ahead time. It's probably too late. You're probably not in Los Angeles. But if all those things line up for you in this moment, go to the show. Say hi to me afterwards. Love to meet anybody who is watching or listening to this show. I prefer you listen. I know I do the video, but I prefer you listen and not look at my face. Well, I'm not gonna talk about my face. You know, everybody has got what we got and you should be happy with it and say, hey, this is it. Your face is great. Most faces are great. the famous person's face is so much better than yours? No. What do they got? They got the same things. They got all the same features. What that's the proportion that people say it's supposed to be on that one? we're all as good looking as any of them. And those famous people, unobtainable. I'll tell you what I find really unattractive, unattainable. You know what's hot as fuck? Obtainable. I love what I can have, and what I can't have, what's that? No thanks. I can't have it. Why would I want it? People who chase the unobtainable, I don't get it. You're gonna end up with the obtainable. We all have our own obtainable. Just enjoy your obtainable. I'm gonna get into the news. Let's do it. let's see what's going on in the world. Politico MS now CNN denied access to White House despite judges order. Why do you even want to go? The court said you can't bar these news outlets from the White House. It's the First Amendment. They're still not allowed in. I don't know why you don't just leave and stay gone. Say fine, we don't cover you anymore. It doesn't matter. I mean, you cover what happens, but you don't talk to him. What why bother? It's an abusive relationship. And I don't even understand why they're bar nobody watches CNN or MS now. Politico's probably the biggest one in terms of like, okay, like those stories get circulated. I clicked on a CNN link off of Reddit the other day and it tried to charge me money. You think I'm gonna pay to read a CNN story? That's as bold as when they tried to launch their own premium streaming service. That would that last for, like a week? people who watch cable news are either in a waiting room or mentally ill. And this is all over a political story that JD vance fed to them anonymously. And I i who cares? this is what's missing from the news. Them saying a story and saying, who cares? It's like CNN go in, don't go in. You can get the information and not play that guy's voice. I try to avoid hearing his voice as much as possible 'cause it is it's an annoying voice. He's a little sing songgy too, which I don't appreciate. New York sues prediction market, poly market, calling it an unlicensed gambling operation. Yes, totally gambling. you're betting on sports, but it's like trading stocks. Trading stocks kinda gambling too. You shouldn't be able to do either of those things on your phone. should have to go onto a computer. It just takes a little more thought to use a laptop than your phone. it gives you that extra moment to be like, should I do this? yeah, I'm gonna totally do this. this is the time. This is the move I'm gonna get out from under. if you're gonna lose your family's money, your kids' college tuition, whatever your kids not going to college, come on. You can gamble the college tuition. You had it saved, so what? Your retirement fund, whatever it is that you're losing when you're gambling on sports, buying a prediction or whatever the fuck they call it. Investing in a position of a sporting event or buying stocks on Robin Hood, whatever it is, at least when you're losing those things, you did it on the computer. It just is a little more dignified. Maybe that's the compromise they can come to. Okay, polymarket, you can take everybody's money gambling. It nothing matters anymore. But they gotta do it on a laptop. There's gotta be some dignity to it. US Jockey Club orders racehorse Austrian painter to be renamed due to Hitler reference. That reference is not too hidden. Whoever named that horse, the guy who owns that horse, thinks I'm being very clever here with Austrian painter. No. What are you going to change the name to now? That Kanye West song. You know that Kanye West song. The one you can't really sing in public, that Kanye West song. It's a long name for a horse, but that's fun. People like that. These are Reddit news headlines sorted by hot just to cite my references. Backlash as Indian oil air made professor of sustainability at Newcastle University. So this is a dude born into a bunch of oil money, can do whatever he wants, and has the fantasy of being a university professor. Goes to Newcastle University, very prestigious, I think. Sounds prestigious, I think it is. He says to them, how much money do I have to donate to this school to be professor of sustainability? Nobody's ever asked that. That's weird. People want to get their kids in here. People want things named after them. Nobody wants to work here. he probably wants to teach sustainability to the non-billionaires. his level of billionaire, no sustainability. that is private jet all the time kind of lifestyle. But everybody else needs to make up for what they're doing. paper straws, no plastic bags. no plastic eating utensils. It's gotta be the stuff made out of like kelp or something that dissolves. I don't know. Is that a thing? There's like a certain kind of sustainable eating utensil I get from the organico, That's gotta be good for you, just by the name alone. it doesn't bother me that this guy's a professor of sustainability at Newcastle University because I am not gonna go there. And even if I did go there, I don't think I'm taking a class in sustainability. I don't know what what would I take a class in at Newcastle University? Literature? I don't like to read. I mean I like reading and I like literature, but I don't want to read it. I appreciate it. I appreciate that it exists Israel facing water shortages Caused by destruction of Gaza's treatment plants. Is that even karma? That's just dumb. You should have known that was gonna happen. It's inhumane to target the treatment plants to begin with. didn't know that was gonna have an effect on you. too bad. is that irony when the genocide you're trying to perpetrate kind of comes back at you? think it might be irony. Indianapolis officers accused of abusing police camera system to track women. don't these cops see the stories about the other cops getting busted for the flock cameras? still they're like, I gotta see what this chick is up to. I won't get caught. I know I've said this before. What are you seeing when you're following the flock camera? she's going to the store. going to work. She's going home. She's going to the movies. She's going to the yoga place. what is there to see on the flock camera following the car? but it must be interesting 'cause all these cops keep doing it. Let us all see the flock cameras. Open up access to the flock cameras. Everybody can see what everybody's doing. If you got a license plate, you can look it up. Where are they going? Now everybody's accountable. You're not going to be able to fire every cop who is looking at the flock cameras because they're all doing it. And you hire new cops, they're going right to the flock camera. If I become a cop, I'm going to look at the flock camera and I don't even have everybody to check in on. It's like when I worked in internal audit, I would look at people's HR files and have to just check for signatures and stuff, but then I would read everything. Because it's interesting. It's other people's information. I'm not supposed to know. it's kinda hard to resist. I don't know if I should admit that was a long time ago. And I don't remember any of it. There's some interesting stuff in those when people get reprimanded and it gets written up, that's great. That's a great read. A thick HR file. That's interesting. I did the same thing when I worked in a doctor's office. Medical records? Fascinating. Love to read people's medical records. That I would read. A a book of other people's medical records. You could yeah, don't put the names in. I don't need to know the people's names. I just want to read the the record. Elizabeth Holmes scheduled to move to Halfway House in August twenty twenty seven. When's she going? She went to prison like four years ago. So she's gonna do do five years. That's not that bad. 'Cause like minimum security too. And she stole a lot of money. I mean, she didn't get to keep the money. Does she have money now? She did that documentary everybody's talking about. she'll be like some kind of pop culture figure soon enough. Real housewives has got to be in negotiations already. rising beef costs push a top fifty Texas barbecue spot to pull brisket from its everyday menu. It's a tough time to be eating meat. But the next story here might help this restaurant out because it's 167, 639 pounds of meat recalled after bypassing USDA inspection. So this recalled meat, that's gotta be cheap. You get some recalled brisket. It bypassed USDA inspection. What are they doing? They're barely looking at anything anyway. It's fine. People get sick, they get sick. It's Texas. Nobody's allowed to sue anybody there. So you're fine. Florida couple arrested after six month old daughter hospitalized with blood alcohol of zero point three eighty three. That sounds high. for a baby, blood alcohol, should be very low. I'm sure every once in a while you gotta quiet the kid down. Here's a little something. I don't have children myself. I don't know if that's allowed. this sounds like they're trying to make some viral videos. Go crazy on TikTok with baby shots. I would watch baby shots. That sounds pretty good. A baby doing shots, you do different things. Baby doing shots of Jaeger. Baby doing shots of Goldschlager. Baby doing shots of fireball. You'd probably wanna do this more syrupy shots for a baby. It's like cough medicine basically.