Latest / Aging ain't for Sissies / What If Living For Now Is The Real Declutter Hack

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What If Living For Now Is The Real Declutter Hack · Aging ain't for Sissies

0:06
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to A.G.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: Name for Sissies.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: My name is Marcy Backis, and I am your host.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: Hey, welcome back to A.G.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Name for Sissies, the podcast where we say the quiet parts out loud about getting older, and do it with a whole lot of humor, a little bit of sass, and zero patience for nonsense.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Marcy Backis, and around here, we are not trying to be 25 again.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: We are trying to feel good, live smart, and actually enjoy this stage of life.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Because let's be honest, aging isn't for sissies, but it can be done intentionally, and that's exactly what we're doing here.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, I got a little frog in my throat today.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm very excited.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, as you may know or may not know, I grew up in Los Angeles when the Olympics were there in 1984, I believe it was.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: I went to a couple of events.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: I loved it.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: It was very exciting.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: I did get myself on the list for tickets and they have dropped.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: So we have 48 hours starting tomorrow, 4 p.m.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: tomorrow to 4 p.m.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Sunday, to purchase um 12 tickets.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: So we've decided to go to events.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna start with this.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: So we're getting these through um my child Kyle, lives in LA.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: So Kyle signed up to get a slot, and Kyle's got the first slot.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm hoping that we'll get another slot to get some more tickets.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: But to begin with, you get 12 tickets, and we've decided to get six tickets to two events because that'd be Craig and I, Kyle, a significant other.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: It's in two years, so you never know what's gonna happen.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: And then Sharon and Alec will join us too.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna have to decide on what our two events are, and we'll get our tickets.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'm very excited about that.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: I love the Olympics.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: This last Olympics, I don't know if it was just that we needed something to believe in, other than our current situation in the world.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: But uh yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: And LA was a great host the last time, and I think we'll be this time.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: We have friends that we can stay with, so I don't have to worry about um hotel rooms and hotel gouging and all those kind of things.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, that was something that was exciting happening this week.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: The weather in Chicago has been 80 degrees and 30 degrees.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: Unbelievably crazy week.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: Right now, again, if you hear a clap of thunder or a crack of lightning, it's because we've got some storms going through.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't seem to be too bad.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: I think an interesting fact, if you don't know it, the storms that come through Chicago, because we live downtown in a high rise, a lot of times the high-rise area that I live in breaks up the storms.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: They go around us and they reform over the lake.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: And I get to see more lightning over the lake than I see anywhere else.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of exciting, but right now it's just raining.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, also bought a new car.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: I think I mentioned that last week, but I got a Vovo, absolutely love it.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: A CX60 loaded with everything on it.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: And even me, the techie, there's so many things on there.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: But um I've driven the weird thing about buying a car when you walk 90% of where you go.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: I bought the car on a Monday, never drove it again until Sunday.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: That's so weird, right?
3:31
SPEAKER_00: So it takes you a little bit longer to get to know your new car when you don't drive it every day.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: But I'm loving it, it's very solid.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: I think it'll be a great car in the cold here as well as the warmth.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm very happy.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: I loved my other car.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm I was sad to see her go, but I told her, you know, you gotta move on in life.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: Something new is gonna happen for you.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: So I also, my other car was a plug-in hybrid here in the Midwest.
4:02
SPEAKER_00: Plugging in is a little tricky, and my car was a little bit of an older one.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: So its plug was becoming harder to find.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't, you know, in California, I had a plug in my garage and I don't here.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: So a lot of reasons for letting that go and going back to strictly gas-powered.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: But when you don't drive your car very much, you really don't care about the gas mileage, honestly.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: So, but I did fill it up the other day, and that was shocking because it has an 18-gallon tank.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: My hybrid had a six-gallon tank, so you can imagine that it was a little bit three times more expensive, but nonetheless, I'm very happy to have it.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: Can't think of anything else going.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: It's Easter.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: It is Easter week, it is holy week.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: Been working out all week.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: If you're not working out, get out there and work out.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: It's important to keep our balance, to keep our core strong.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: All those things are super important.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: My health is doing doggone good right now, and I thank the Lord for that because I have been through the ringer the last couple years.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: And I am telling you right now, we're doing pretty good.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: We're doing pretty good.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: So, did have an appointment with my infectious disease doctor today, and everything that came back on this issue with my hand came back negative.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: So he and I have agreed to run with it until we can't.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: And that is the kind of doctor I like.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Anything else going on?
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Looking forward to a very busy summer with concerts and all kinds of things.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: Have a busy week coming up.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: The concert season is starting and plays.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: Gonna see Ma Rainey's Black Bottom this coming week.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to a concert at Lyric Opera House with Mary Poppins.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: So uh, yeah, a lot going on.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: Craig and I are spending Easter alone, going to church.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: And well, Craig on Saturday, the Allinier in the final four.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: So he will be doing that.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: And I will be going to Easter Vigil Saturday night.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: And then Sunday we will go to Easter service, and then the afternoon we are going to Carmines down in what is called the Viagra Triangle here in um the Gold Coast, a beautiful area.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh, if you follow me on Instagram, you will see pictures, but uh that's that's all that's going on with me.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: And I was really thinking about this week's episode, and I decided that spring cleaning was what we needed to talk about because I think spring cleaning, because at this age it's not just cleaning, it's a full emotional journey.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: You open a drawer and suddenly you're reminiscing, questioning your life, and wondering why you own 14 pairs of scissors that don't cut anything.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: This is not cleaning, this is therapy with dust.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: So come along with me.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: We're going to talk about spring cleaning in a different way.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: All of you that know me and know me well and have been listening for years know there's nothing I love more than cleaning a cupboard out, organizing, and throwing crap away.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: I am the opposite of a hoarder.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm a chucker.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: I chuck it out, chuck it out, chuck it out, chuck it out.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Get rid of it, get rid of it, get rid of it.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: I am a chronic get rid of her, but that doesn't mean I still don't have a lot of stuff.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: I certainly love shoes, clothes, and all of that.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: And I have more than I need and I buy more.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm working on it, people.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: But I do get rid of stuff.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: I do go through my closets.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: I do go through, I did our front closet the other day.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: That was fun.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Found some things, got rid of them.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I want to talk with you about spring cleaning at over 60.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Let's just get this out of the way.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: We are not doing this the old way anymore.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: We are not dragging everything out of the closets, making a bigger mess, exhausting ourselves by noon, and then pretending we'll finish tomorrow.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: No, ma'am.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: Spring cleaning is now about making life easier, reducing your stress, and not breaking our backs in the process.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And I believe all three of these things wholeheartedly.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: It's about making your life easier, it's about reducing stress, and not breaking our backs in the process.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that's so true.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth that no one says we don't need more stuff.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: We need less to manage.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about that.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: And I know I've said that a lot.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: I know I've said it in other podcasts, but we don't need more stuff.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Now, again, I just placed an order for some clothes.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I get you.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: I hear ya.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: But I will say my closet is probably more organized than yours.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: It just may have more stuff.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: But nonetheless, we need less to manage.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: And I believe that going from a huge house to a one-bedroom condo was the greatest thing I ever did.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: So little to manage.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: I can't even tell you.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, I had a cleaning lady when I had breast cancer and after my surgery, and they came two or three times, and then I just said to Craig, no more.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: I there's just not enough to do here to say, pay someone to do it.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: First of all, I enjoy cleaning.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: I know it's weird.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: I enjoy driving too.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you why.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: I like cleaning.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: I like the feeling of a job well done.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: I like seeing a difference, a change, less dust on the floor, cap for whatever it may be.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: I love seeing a closet go from, you know, now it's so easy to organize my closet because it's never that far out of bounds.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I do love cleaning.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't like breaking my back doing things anymore.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: I I'm when you have less to manage, there's less to break your back.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: So why we keep so much stuff?
10:20
SPEAKER_00: And and it's it's not what you think.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest about why we hold on to things.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: Now, I know for some there's issues.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: I know my my oldest child has a real hard time with getting rid of stuff, and it's it's more of a psychological issue, and I get that, and I love Kyle, and I try to support Kyle in that.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: But the excuse me, I got the hiccups again.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: The average ones of us out here, we hold on to things because one, I paid good money for that.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: I might need it someday.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: That was from a trip.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: Here's a good one.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: What if I lose weight?
11:04
SPEAKER_00: Ah, yes, the goal jeans.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: My goal weight, and I'll get in those jeans.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: We've all got them.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: We've all got reasons why we hang on to things.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: They're hanging there like tiny little judgmental roommate, those jeans.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: Let me say this with love.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't fit your life right now, and I'm not just talking about clothes, so let me say that again.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't fit your life right now, it's not serving you.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna explain something to you.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Going from approximately 4,000 square feet to 900 square feet, everything that's in our condo serves a purpose, is something that either Craig or I love.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: We don't have anything we don't care about in this house.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: And man, is that a great feeling?
12:08
SPEAKER_00: Just because someone gave you a candle or just because someone gave you that dish doesn't mean you have to keep it.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't mean you have to have it on display.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: If it does not serve you, get it out.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: We are not living for someday.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: We are living for now.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: If you're starting to live for someday at 60, good God, people, what are you waiting for?
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Use the good china.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: I do.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: I got rid of all of those.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: I had probably seven different sets of dishes at our house in Kodo.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: And when I moved, I took our Frank Lloyd Wright china that we had eight place settings from Craig's mom and dad when we first got married.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: I had never taken them out of the boxes because I was afraid they'd break in an earthquake.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what Craig and I use every day?
12:55
SPEAKER_00: We use our Frank Lloyd Wright fine china on a daily basis.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, you know what?
13:01
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful and it serves me well.
13:09
SPEAKER_00: We are living for the now, people.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: If it's not today, when is it?
13:14
SPEAKER_00: So, what's a simple way to start without losing your mind?
13:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm always full of big ideas, but I do try to help get you there.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: We're keeping it very simple.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: You do not need a system that requires a binder and a label maker, although there is nothing I love more than a bindle and a label maker, but you don't need to do it.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Just do this.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: Pick one small area, one drawer, one shelf, one section of your closet, not even your whole closet, a section.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
13:43
SPEAKER_00: Because momentum is everything.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: You finish one small space, you feel good, you keep going.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: You try to do the whole house.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: If you try to do the whole house, you're on the couch with snacks by 2 p.m.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: saying, I'll do it next weekend.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to do that.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: As anything, take a small bite, a small bite.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: You don't shove a whole cake in your face.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe you do, but then you just want to take a nap.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: So, same concept here.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: Take a small space and finish it.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: All right, so we're gonna finish it.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: And right now we're gonna take a quick break from my new reoccurring set reoccurring segment.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Easy for me to say, I'm not doing this anymore.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: All right, it's time for our segment.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: We started last week.
14:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing this anymore.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: All right.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: This is where I lovingly call myself out, and maybe you too.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: So this week, what am I not doing anymore?
14:50
SPEAKER_00: I am not being hard on myself for eating something fattening.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: I have spent a lifetime, a lifetime berating myself, eating something that I enjoyed immensely, and then feeling horrible for it.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: Nope, not doing it, not doing it anymore.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: I've had it, I've enjoyed it, end of story.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: I am no longer going to replay it in my head, negotiate with myself like I'll eat a salad for three days, or acting like I actually committed a dang crime.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: At this stage of life, food is not the enemy, joy is not the enemy, living is not the enemy, and I am officially done treating one cookie like a moral failure.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: We are not doing that anymore.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about that.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: We are not doing it anymore.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Eat the cookie, have the ice cream, eat the cake, have the pie, enjoy your doggone life.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Because joy is not our enemy.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: We need more joy.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: All right, that's our segment for today.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: Next week I will have something else that I'm not doing anymore.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: All right, back to our regular scheduled programming.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: All right, the emotional weight of clutter.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: Here's where we get real.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: Clutter isn't just stuff.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: And this is what I've learned with my oldest child.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: It's memories, guilt, what if, and sometimes who we used to be.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's hard, people.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's hard.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: But let me give you a small reframe.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: Keeping everything doesn't honor your life.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: Living your life does.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know about you, and you may not see this, and maybe after I say it, you'll see it.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Having clutter in your life stresses you out.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: It stresses me out immensely.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: So again, keeping everything doesn't honor your life, living your life does.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: You don't need every object to prove you lived it.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: You already did.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: All right, one more quick pause because I want to make sure you know where else you can find me.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: If you're loving this conversation, and even if you're not, I've got two other podcasts you need to check out Inside Marcy's Mind, where we talk about life hacks, real life situations, and all the things we're trying to figure out, but nobody's really saying out loud.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: And whatever happens to be on my mind that week.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: And for some reason, last week's episode didn't drop, so there's a new episode this week already because it didn't drop and now it's dropped.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: I have another podcast called Unbottled, which is where we talk about sobriety, real talk, and what it actually looks like to change your life.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be an alcoholic to listen.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: You can be a clutterholic and still listen and get something from it.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: Or if you know somebody in your life that may need to listen, please share it with them.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: And of course, everything lives over on my website, which is Marcybacchusmedia.com.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: You can email me at Marcybacchusmedia at gmail.com.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: You can also find my podcasts everywhere.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: Everywhere you can find podcasts, all three of them.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: So go check those out and then come right back here.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Because here's your filter going forward.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: Pick something up and ask yourself Am I too old for this nonsense?
19:00
SPEAKER_00: Does this make my life easier?
19:03
SPEAKER_00: A little Marie Kondo, does it bring me joy?
19:07
SPEAKER_00: Or is it just sitting here taking up space?
19:12
SPEAKER_00: If you have boxes of stuff in your garage from when your parents died and you haven't even looked through them, are you gonna really leave those for your kids to go through?
19:20
SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: If it's not adding something, it's taking something time, energy, or peace.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: It take it gives me anxiety to have stuff.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Even right now I can look and there I have Easter decorations out, and decorations give me anxiety after a while.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: We don't want anything taking our time, energy, or peace.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Those are way too valuable now.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: This isn't about having a perfect house, it's about making life easier, daily life easier, reducing stress, relieving anxiety, creating space to breathe.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: You you know, it's interesting because I did not realize the amount.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: I knew that having stuff bothered me in a way I couldn't explain.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't till recently that I realized the level of anxiety that stuff brought me.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: And I brought that anxiety into our home.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: I brought it into my parenting, I brought it into my marriage.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: There's no place for that.
20:35
SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize that until recently.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: So maybe that's something you need to think about.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: Because the older we get, the less tolerance we have for things that don't matter.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, that might be the best part.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: So if you're thinking about spring cleaning, don't make it a production, make it a shift this time.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: One drawer, one decision, one step at a time.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: And maybe a little less judgment along the way.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Because around here, remember what I say, we're not aging quietly, we're aging intentionally.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for spending this time with me today.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: If this episode made you laugh, think, or finally tackle that one drawer you've been avoiding, make sure you follow, share it with a friend, and come back next week.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: Because we've got a lot more life to live, and we're gonna do it our way.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next time.