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Sober Talk SA - Kira · Sober Talk SA

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  Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I've lived
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  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
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  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women. We share the experience,
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  strength and hope with each other.
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  They must solve their come problems and help others to
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  recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for
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  membership is a desire to stop drinking.
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  There are no Jews at fees for a membership.
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  We are self support through our own contributions.
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  Is not allied with any SEC denomination, politics,
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  organization or institution. Does not wish to engage in any
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  controversy, neither endorses or oppose any causes.
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  Our primary purpose is stay soap and help other Alcoholics
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  achieve sobriety. Hello, I'm Kira and I'm an
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  alcoholic. Thank you for taking the time to
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  hear me. Now my drinking started.
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  Firstly, I'd like to thank Dennis for being of service, and
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  I'd like to thank my higher power for being with me.
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  I I prayed a lot before I came on to sober talk today.
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  I prayed to God to remove my fear and direct my thinking to
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  what he would have me be. And I want to start off by
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  talking about this concept of a higher power.
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  When I came into AAI was so shaken and so rattled by what
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  alcoholism had done to me that I didn't see the God word on the
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  banners as a bad thing anymore. And I had been.
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  I had a lot of family trawler around around religion growing
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  up, and when I came into AAI was so spiritually broken, so
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  spiritually bankrupt. Alcoholism had really taken
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  everything from me that when I came into AAI, was absolutely
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  defeated. I was willing to give anything a
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  go. I'd become a daily Blackout
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  Drinker, I4 or five later, being cast a day blackout drinker.
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  And my first meeting, I was shaking so hard I could barely
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  stand up straight and this beautiful woman kind of won't be
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  named. She came out of the meeting and
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  she took my hand and she sat with me and I cried.
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  And she ripped her tissue in half and she gave me half a
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  tissue. I just remember that now.
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  It's just that part. But she held my hand and she sat
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  with me as I cried. And I had no idea what was going
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  to happen. I just knew that I needed help.
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  I just knew that I needed help and I knew that there was hope
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  in the rooms of A A and I felt, I felt so inspired by what I
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  heard. I didn't hear too much because I
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  was in so much fear and I was so scared, so scared of what was
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  going to happen. But as the meeting finished up
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  and people surrounded me, felt so loved, felt so loved and so
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  safe, people were so kind. And I hadn't had that for a
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  really long time, Just this generosity and kindness.
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  There had been a lot of shame and negativity in my mind about
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  what a bottom feeder I was and how I was going nowhere in life.
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  Alcoholism, that isn't, I have come to understand, is disease.
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  This ease of the mind and body. I've become so restless,
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  irritable and discontent that I need something to help me calm
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  my nerves and help me get through life.
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  I'm very grateful that Alcoholics Anonymous has taught
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  me that alcohol was my solution to my alcohol ISM, and picking
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  up a drink was just something that I used to ease my
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  discomfort. But what I really have is a
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  spiritual malady is spiritual bankruptcy, and I need to fill
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  the alcohol void with something. And AA gives me a program, a
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  really beautiful, simple program.
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  It's not always easy. I still stumble, but people are
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  there to help me. They help me.
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  I reach out my hand and they there are people there.
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  Instead of picking up a drink, I pick up the phone and I reach
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  out. I go.
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  Can you help me with this problem?
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  What do I do today? OK, what's your advice?
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  Or how do I get through this? And people give me their
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  support? People will take the time.
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  And I've been meeting people lately that, you know, have 1/5
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  of my sobriety time or you know, five years younger than me and
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  they give me such beautiful advice.
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  It is so. It is so cunning, baffling and
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  powerful. This disease this, this, this
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  80s. I love to say it like that
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  because I it's so hard to me, so hard for me sometimes to think
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  I'm I'm such a sick person. But it is.
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  I've come to accept that I am. I'm a sick person.
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  I'm. I'm a sick person.
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  I've got I've got this sickness in my mind it it really does
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  want to kill me, really does want to kill me.
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  And it took leaving the rooms to understand and see how much my
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  mind gets really out of shape. With fear, with shame.
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  With guilt. And I have been trying lately to
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  concentrate more on the halts recently, which is something
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  that doesn't get shed so much lately, but it it did more so
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  when I came in and it does in in some other fellowships.
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  I'm hungry, angry, lonely, thirsty, tired.
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  I try and bring it back to these really simple basics.
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  When I'm running rough, hungry, angry, lonely, thirsty, tired,
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  hungry, angry, lonely, thirsty, tired.
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  If I I keep checking on these things and make sure I'm eating
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  three meals a day, I'm angry. I can.
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  I can talk to someone about my angers.
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  Angry, angry, lonely. Pick up the phone and talk to
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  someone hungry, angry, lonely, thirsty.
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  I drink lots of water. I was drinking four or five
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  liters again. A day of cheap wine, I drink
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  lots of water. I don't shame myself for having
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  coffee or the occasional occasional soft drink or
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  something else. Hungry, angular, thirsty, tired.
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  And I make sure that I I get enough sleep.
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  I keep myself, try and keep myself in in good shape.
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  And these things have been helping.
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  These things have been helping. And what's really important to
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  me is making sure that I get to meetings and talking to other
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  Alcoholics. Because even though I've got a
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  little bit of sobriety time, I recently celebrated 9 1/2 years.
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  Which to me just baffles me because I still sometimes feel
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  undeserving of that, even though I know in my heart I am.
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  God wouldn't have given it to me.
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  I wasn't. I still have to do meetings.
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  I need to connect with other Alcoholics.
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  The world is full of such a complicated, multi dimensional,
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  multifaceted group of individuals.
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  I need to connect with people who are like me and don't drink.
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  I live with someone who drinks and that's OK You know, they're
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  allowed to have alcohol. We went out for their birthday
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  recently and that was really lovely.
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  And I was sitting around their friends and family and they
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  could have wine and beer. And I just sat on my soft drink
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  and I sipped it slowly and not really.
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  It really amused me to see how much people consume, how much
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  liquid people can put inside of them.
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  And I think, wow, that that used to be me.
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  I need to go back to my meetings and and share these stories and
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  have a safe place where I can go back and connect with people who
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  don't drink and have that reminder that it's not my
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  solution anymore. My solution to life is working
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  this program and having a higher power in my life.
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  Having a higher power in my life has really helped me understand
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  that I'm not the one running the show.
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  I'm not the one that has my best interests at heart.
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  I'm not the one that's doing my life, to be honest.
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  My life is not in my business and I've had to really struggle
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  and fight with this before. I can take my hands off it and
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  some days I still want to hang on to it really hard and have it
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  my way. And the way how.
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  I know it's not me doing it, it's more higher power.
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  Doing it is I'll make plans. I'll make plans and then
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  something will happen. Some, you know, I might spill my
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  coffee, or I'll forget that I have to hang my washing out or
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  something. Will intervene and go.
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  This is still the universe's plan.
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  It's not my plan. It's the universe's plan.
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  My thinking, my life, led me to drinking.
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  By the time I was 26, I was a daily blackout drunk.
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  I'd stopped going to work. I stopped connecting with
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  people. I was an isolator.
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  I stopped sharing. I stopped making meals.
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  I stopped doing all the things that I need to do to take care
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  of myself. And somehow my higher power got
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  me into AA universe, got me into AA and said here, here's a
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  better way of living, let us help you.
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  An AA Outlines Program living. I can take my hands off and let
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  it be. It shows me a really beautiful
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  way of living. All of these steps.
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  One, I'm not going to go through them all.
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  But what the first one is. The most important, I believe,
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  is admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol.
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  Admitting that I'm powerless over this disease, that my life
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  can become really quickly unmanageable and I need to work
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  a program and I need to have a higher power come back and to be
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  in the world with human beings, because I'm such a fearful
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  creature. I drank because I'm scared of
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  everything. I'm scared of being in the world
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  with people. And I eased.
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  Sorry, alcohol eased my fears, but only for a really, really
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  short time. Help me live with people and
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  feel like a free spirit. But it was false.
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  It lied to me, and when I woke up the next day, I'd have the
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  shakes. I'd have restless, irritable
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  discontentness all over again. And I just want to keep
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  drinking. And now with a program of
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  action, with A's help, I can do all of it, just without the
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  drinking. I don't have to.
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  I don't have to be a slave to the air coloning war.
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  And that's that's really nice. I can be around people who are
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  drinking. I don't, I don't tempt that.
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  I don't purposefully just go sit in a bar and you know have a
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  soda water just because. But if I need to, if I need to
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  go into a into a bar for for work, sometimes I do some events
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  or if someone like I said my house might had a birthday, I
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  can. I can go into these places and
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  go. I have this safety because I
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  have higher power. I have AAI can find another
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  member. I can go to meetings.
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  I have this. I have this spiritual blanket
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  wrapped around me that that keeps me safe and keeps me
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  protected. And as long as I keep working my
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  program, I feel like everything's gonna be OK.
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  But this is, this is one day at a time, and it's it's contingent
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  on my own, my own well-being my own, putting in the action.
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  Which is why I'm ringing up and doing this sober talk, because I
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  need to be a service. I need to give back to A, A, A.
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  A has given me so much How I mentioned that I came in to a A
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  and these beautiful people just surrounded me and loved me back
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  to life. And I I need to remember that
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  there are people coming into the rooms and they need to have that
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  same love. And I want to give that love out
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  too. I want to give that back.
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  I really believe that the universe's message, God's
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  message. I'm very spiritual, not not
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  religious, but I'm so comfortable with using the word
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  God. I just think it's a really
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  beautiful, powerful way to to navigate, navigate the power of
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  the universe. I really believe that God works
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  through people and sends messages and sends love.
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  Very specific messages or different bits and pieces
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  through people. And I think that's really,
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  really incredible. When people are reaching out for
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  help or reaching out for support.
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  I want the hand of AI always to be there.
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  For that, I am so truly, truly grateful.
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  I would be 9 1/2 years sober without what this fellowship has
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  given to me. I feel so incredibly blessed and
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  so incredibly great, and and I think I'll leave it there.
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  Waste of time. How did you find out about
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  Alcoholics Anonymous? Oh, thank you, Dennis.
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  That's such a good question. I am.
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  I actually was. I actually Googled it, I think,
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  and my sister, she, she was in NA.
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  She was in NA and she knew the program of recovery.
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  So she said to me once, when you're drinking, when you feel
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  like you can't control it, you let me know and we'll get to a
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  meeting. And I Googled a A and I just
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  watched people on the Internet. I just watched them getting
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  better and I sat there and I just cried.
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  But something really hit me. I was just Googling a a for half
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  a day crying. And I remember sitting there
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  hungover from the night before thinking it's either I go to the
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  BOLO and I get another cast or I ring my sister and we go to an A
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  a meeting and she took me to a meeting.
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  She took me to a meeting that night and it was the best thing
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  that it never happened to me, the most scariest thing that
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  ever happened, but the best thing that ever happened.
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  It was amazing. Beautiful.
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  Thank you so much. Thank you for do you share,
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  Karen. Thank you, Denz.
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  We have local meetings for the full week in the local area.
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  Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00, Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00,
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  Wednesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at
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  8:00, and Friday is Salisbury at 8:00.
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  There's a meeting at Devron Park at 12:00, and on Sunday there's
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  a meeting in Salisbury at 7:00 and many of the meetings in the
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  area. For details of your local
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  meetings, please phone 1300 double 22222.
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  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222,
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  the website isaasa.org dot AU.