Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Girls Are NOT Autistic!? (5 CRAZY Facts YOU Need to Know)

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Girls Are NOT Autistic!? (5 CRAZY Facts YOU Need to Know) · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

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  You have arrived. Welcome to the Aspy world.
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  Here's where we talk about anything and everything ASD in
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  an upbeat and informative way. And now here's your man on the
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  spectrum, your autism ambassador, Daniel Morgan Jones.
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  So in this video, I'm talking about masking in autism or
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  asperges in women and masking. What is masking?
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  How does it impact people and what can we do to learn more
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  about it and also help people sell?
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  Buckle up and get ready. Hey guys, what's going on?
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  My name is Dan. I have Asperger syndrome in ADHD
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  and make weekly videos all about this stuff.
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  So if you're around here and you want to learn more, remember to
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  hit the subscribe button by clicking that notification bell
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  down below. And if you're watching on any
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  other platform, make sure to follow me to see daily videos
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  like this. OK, so there is something really
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  interesting about autistic females or people who are on the
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  autism spectrum and female. This is all to do with masking.
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  And I'm going to get right into it right now.
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  I'd say one of the biggest struggles that face autistic
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  females across the board. And this isn't just females who
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  are, you know, struggling in certain areas of having a
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  difficult time. I think this is all autistic
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  females in general. What is it that is so impactful
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  in their lives? What's the number one thing that
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  impacts them in their daily life?
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  And I would have to say this is masking now.
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  Now, masking actually impacts autistic females to a point or
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  level where I think sometimes they're actually misdiagnosed or
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  under diagnosed because they mask in such a way that prevents
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  the actual people from understanding it.
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  And I'm going to get through all of it right now just so that you
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  can kind of get to where I am because I think this is so
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  important, especially for advocating for autistic women or
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  if you're an autistic woman and you're watching this right now
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  and you want to learn more about it and want to learn more about
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  masking in general. So I'm going to do that whilst
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  I'm just tidying up my area here.
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  So the first one is, you know, why do people with Asperges or
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  why do women with Asperges are often undiagnosed?
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  And because when you think about this, right, masking is a form
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  of pretending that you can fit in in a normal situation or
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  pretending that everything's OK and you're OK with that
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  situation or you're OK dealing with that situation.
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  And this could look like many different forms.
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  It could be like out with friends and socializing and
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  being like, yeah, I'm, I'm cool with friends.
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  I can, I can socialize, I can hang.
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  When in actual fact, you're kind of dying inside.
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  And then when you get home, you're kind of like, it was the
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  most painful thing I'd have to do.
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  I had to go. And, you know, be with so many
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  people in a certain situation and then you've had to pretend
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  become a character, if you will, just to fit in.
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  And that's not who we are. We're humans and we're autistic.
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  So we're going to have difficulties and stresses in
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  areas. And because of this, when you're
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  going through the diagnostic criteria or the process with a
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  professional, the professional, the professional is going to
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  say, hey, do you have any issues in socializing?
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  And people who know you all all know about you are going to be
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  like, actually, no, because I've seen them go to pizza parties
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  and pool parties and they're absolutely fine.
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  There's no issues there. Because of this, it leads to a
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  under diagnosis or a missed diagnosis or a untrue diagnosis.
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  And what you'll see is the under diagnosing of autistic women.
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  So whereas women on the autonomous spectrum are actually
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  probably more common than males, the diagnosis is the other way
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  around. There's more males commonly
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  diagnosed with autism than there are females.
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  This is crazy, right? OK, but what does masking really
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  look like in daily life? Right.
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  So what does masking look like in daily life?
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  Masking can look very much like this.
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  Say you're an autistic female and you are wanting to go to
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  school, university, or even just work.
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  You work in your job and you go there now before you leave the
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  house. It's horrible because that's
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  your comfort zone, That's your safe space.
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  You know that when you're inside your house, you're comfortable
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  and nothing else is going to top that, right?
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  However, if soon you go out of the house, what tends to happen
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  is you then have to pretend to be someone because you have to
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  engage in small talk with somebody.
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  So the first person you see at the bus stop be like, oh,
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  weather's good. You're like, yeah, OK.
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  But whereas autistic men would be like, I don't deal with
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  weather talk, I'm not going to engage in this, whatever.
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  I'll be looked as being odd for not doing it.
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  Autistic females will feel the pressure and societal need to
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  want to kind of converse and have that conversation and be
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  like, yeah, the weather's nice and stuff.
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  And it's painful. It's it's difficult.
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  Then you go to work and then you get your clock in, oh, good
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  morning, how was your weekend, blah, blah, blah.
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  And then the assistive female again then has to pretend that
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  she's interested in this conversation when you're not
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  because I have a rule an autistic people see the world
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  like this. And let me know in the comments
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  if you feel like this because I feel like most autistic people I
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  know feel like this. They will not say anything to
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  other people unless it's productive to the group as a
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  whole. As in like, if this is not going
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  to improve conditions for mankind, then why are we even
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  saying it? Right?
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  Because we're intellectual. We're people who are like
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  thinking outside of the box. We're thinking on a on a
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  different scale. So all of this talk, imagine
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  this all day along the wall, cool lunchtime meetings,
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  everybody you see, clients, everything, even friends.
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  And then you come home and then it's it's over.
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  You don't have to mask anymore and you can be yourself.
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  But what is the toll that's been taken?
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  What happens when you're an autistic person who has masked,
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  who is who's done this all day? Well, this is the emotional toll
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  that happens. You come home and you hit an
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  emotional burnout. You've had to pretend to be
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  somebody all day, feeling uncomfortable, just completely
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  distressed all day, but trying to hold it together.
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  And then you come home and just blah.
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  You just like let loose. It all comes out.
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  You feel emotionally drained. You're tired.
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  You've got what? A sensory hangover, an emotional
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  hangover and the scary pies. You've got to do it all again
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  tomorrow or even tonight. You could have friends come over
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  for dinner. Your family don't want to come
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  over to see you may have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and
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  they want to come over and they want a hand.
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  And it's like, gosh damn it, like how do how do we get how do
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  we get out of that? How do we how do we become not
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  that, you know what I mean? And that to me is probably one
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  of the biggest things and the most disabling things about
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  autism and females for the female perspective is that
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  masking kicks their butt constantly.
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  But some of the other parts of that is apparent is that masking
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  can actually delay some of the support in which you most viably
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  need. Now, if you're an autistic
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  female, think about this. You're maybe even self diagnosed
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  and all you're diagnosed and you want support.
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  You want help you need. Maybe it's governmental support,
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  maybe it's support from your friends and family.
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  But when they say, hey, how's it going?
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  You're going to go, yeah, I'm OK, I'm good, I'm fine.
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  You know, you're dying inside like you are like, I need help,
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  you know, and that creates a, a, a deficit of support.
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  You, you have a lack of support or a lack of people who are
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  there to help you and support you in the way where, you know,
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  you need a group, you need a team around you.
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  You need the support network. And this is one of the things I
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  talk about in, in a lot of my videos, like the autistic
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  support network and it's your personal autistic support
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  network. It's not just like, oh, I go to
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  the, the YMCA or I go to my local clinic and there's my
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  support network. We all have support networks,
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  but certain support networks consist of many things.
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  And it could be professionals in the industry helping you out,
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  helping you navigate through life.
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  Because life can be a mega doozy if you don't have any support in
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  place. And this masking kind of conveys
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  that and it actually kicks butt. So that being said, if you're an
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  autistic female, just remember that there is help available.
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  Don't try and mask too much. Try and be yourself.
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  There's nothing wrong with masking and I'll talk about it
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  in a second. Like the good and the bad.
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  This is today's sponsor. Hey, just a heads up guys, if
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  there are any of you out there who are autistic and you're
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  finding it hard or struggling to cope with situations right now,
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  I actually have a program really affordable called Coping Secrets
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  or Autism Coping Secrets. Now you can get access to this
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  by visiting the link in the description down below and
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  looking for coping secrets course or you can go to
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  learnautism.net/coping Secrets right now and get access to that
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  course. It's highly recommended.
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  It's my bestseller. Most people that come through my
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  programs will take this one first and they swear by it.
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  It's a seven step program. It's it's really good.
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  Check it out. OK, so the second last thing I
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  want to talk about here is how unmasking is the path to living
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  an, an authentic life and actually healing from those
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  things. Hey guys, thank you so much for
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  checking out this podcast. Make sure you are subscribed
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  because there are people listening right now who are not
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  subscribed to this podcast. I can see you make sure you
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  subscribe. OK guys, see you in the next one
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  IECE.