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What about Widows? · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: Within the church today, there are many different kinds of people,
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Speaker 1: a great variety in the body of believers. I love that.
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Speaker 1: In fact, that's as it should be. And yet, how
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Speaker 1: seldom we hear instructions from the Word of God regarding
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Speaker 1: widows in the church. Yes, widows. You may be surprised
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Speaker 1: to know that in this letter from Paul to Timothy,
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Speaker 1: his friend and child in the faith, the great apostle
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Speaker 1: addresses the whole issue of ministering to widows, this very
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Speaker 1: special group of women. And I've entitled today's message with
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Speaker 1: a question. What about widows? To find the answer, we're
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Speaker 1: looking at 1 Timothy chapter 5, verses 3 through 16. Again,
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Speaker 1: it's in the fifth chapter of 1 Timothy where I'll
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Speaker 1: begin the reading with verse 3. Honor widows who are
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Speaker 1: widows indeed. But if any widow has children or grandchildren,
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Speaker 1: they must first learn to practice piety in regard to
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Speaker 1: their own family, and to make some return to their parents,
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Speaker 1: for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Now
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Speaker 1: she who is a widow indeed, and who has been
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Speaker 1: left alone, has fixed her hope on God, and continues
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Speaker 1: in entreaties and prayers to night and day. But she
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Speaker 1: who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while
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Speaker 1: she lives. Prescribe these things as well, so that they
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Speaker 1: may be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide
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Speaker 1: for his own, especially for those of his household, he
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Speaker 1: has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.
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Speaker 1: A widow is to be put on the list only
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Speaker 1: if she is not less than 60 years old, having
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Speaker 1: been the wife of one man, having a reputation for
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Speaker 1: good works, and if she has brought up children, if
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Speaker 1: she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed
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Speaker 1: the saints' feet, if she has assisted those in distress,
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Speaker 1: and if she has devoted herself to every good work.
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Speaker 1: but refuse to put younger widows on the list, for
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Speaker 1: when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they
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Speaker 1: want to get married, thus incurring condemnation, because they have
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Speaker 1: set aside their previous pledge. At the same time, they
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Speaker 1: also learn to be idle, as they go around from
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Speaker 1: house to house, and not merely idle, but also gossips
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Speaker 1: and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention, Therefore,
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Speaker 1: I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house,
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Speaker 1: and give the enemy no occasion for reproach, for some
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Speaker 1: have already turned aside to follow Satan. If any woman
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Speaker 1: who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them,
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Speaker 1: and the church must not be burdened so that it
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Speaker 1: may assist those who are widows indeed. We want to
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Speaker 1: turn our attention to the fifth chapter of 1 Timothy
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Speaker 1: as we continue our study through this letter. And as
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Speaker 1: we do that, we come to a section in the
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Speaker 1: center of the chapter that addresses the whole subject of widows.
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Speaker 1: In fact, it is the most extensive section in all
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Speaker 1: scripture on the subject of widows. You know, to people
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Speaker 1: who don't know any better, Paul comes across as a
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Speaker 1: woman hater. I was teaching a class a number of
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Speaker 1: years ago on Monday mornings to a group of women
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Speaker 1: who really wanted to know something of the scriptures but
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Speaker 1: had spent most of their lives out of Bible teaching
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Speaker 1: churches and away from the Bible. And I was a
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Speaker 1: bit surprised to find that the general opinion of the
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Speaker 1: ladies in that particular Monday morning class was clearly that
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Speaker 1: the Apostle Paul simply did not like women And they
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Speaker 1: had come across such sections in the New Testament as
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Speaker 1: the part that says the woman is to keep silent
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Speaker 1: in the church. And in another place, he is the
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Speaker 1: one who exhorts her not to take or exercise or
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Speaker 1: exert authority over the man in the leadership of a
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Speaker 1: local church. That the Apostle Paul is the one who
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Speaker 1: says on more than one occasion that she is to
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Speaker 1: be submissive to her husband. And those are fighting words
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Speaker 1: in our day. He even has the audacity to say
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Speaker 1: to her to stay at home and to keep house.
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Speaker 1: And if you really press 1 Corinthians 7, you might
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Speaker 1: even think he's against marriage. Because he says that those
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Speaker 1: who do not marry are able to give, quote, undistracted
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Speaker 1: devotion to Christ, end of quote. And he's saying all
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Speaker 1: the way through that chapter that we are to concern
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Speaker 1: ourselves with the things of the Lord, and if we marry,
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Speaker 1: then we have to concern ourselves with the things of
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Speaker 1: the world. I've been studying this book for about 60 years,
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Speaker 1: and I can assure you, not as a casual observer,
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Speaker 1: but as a serious student of Scripture, Paul doesn't hate women.
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Speaker 1: It's interesting how people form opinions. I know of one
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Speaker 1: particular lady in our area who visited our church one time.
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Speaker 1: It was the time that I spoke out of 1
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Speaker 1: Timothy chapter 2 on women, and she has made it
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Speaker 1: clear that that's her last time to come because I
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Speaker 1: am like the Apostle Paul. I also am against women.
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Speaker 1: It's interesting how people come to that conclusion. I live
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Speaker 1: with a woman very happily, and delightfully, and I take
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Speaker 1: my cues from the New Testament on how to treat
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Speaker 1: women and how to deal with a wife and how
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Speaker 1: to handle a family as a leader of a home.
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Speaker 1: And on the contrary, I have had my whole opinion
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Speaker 1: of women enlightened, and I have found that that role
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Speaker 1: of the woman is extremely significant. In fact, when I
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Speaker 1: come to a section like this, I'm grateful for the
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Speaker 1: Apostle Paul because I don't know of too many people
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Speaker 1: that write so kindly and with such concern for those
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Speaker 1: who have lost their mates than the Apostle Paul. We
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Speaker 1: have him to thank for some very helpful guidelines on
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Speaker 1: what to do with those ladies in our assembly who
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Speaker 1: no longer have a husband. As a matter of fact,
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Speaker 1: he sets the stage in verse 3 by telling us
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Speaker 1: to honor them. The term means to venerate, to revere,
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Speaker 1: to value, to show respect for. I call that a
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Speaker 1: high view of the woman. This woman is to be
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Speaker 1: viewed with such respect that it is the same term
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Speaker 1: used for revering and honoring God the Father and God
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Speaker 1: the Son over in the Gospel of John. It's the
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Speaker 1: same term used for honoring father and mother in the
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Speaker 1: New Testament. We are to give that kind of honor.
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Speaker 1: But before we get into the nuts and bolts of
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Speaker 1: these verses, let's look at the categories in general. As
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Speaker 1: I read over verses 3 through 16, I come to
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Speaker 1: four categories of widows. Maybe you have never thought of
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Speaker 1: it in this way before, but look closely. There are,
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Speaker 1: verse 3, widows indeed. We'll explain that in a moment,
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Speaker 1: but just note that. The widows indeed are mentioned in
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Speaker 1: verse 5. She who is a widow indeed. And verse
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Speaker 1: 16 closes with that we may assist those who are
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Speaker 1: widows indeed. So that's the first category. Widows who are
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Speaker 1: widows indeed. And then verses 4 and 8 and the
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Speaker 1: early part of 16 talk about widows who have living relatives.
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Speaker 1: See verse 4, if any widow has children or grandchildren,
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Speaker 1: let them first learn to practice piety in regard to
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Speaker 1: their own family. See verse 8, if any doesn't provide
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Speaker 1: for his own and especially those of his own household,
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Speaker 1: They're worse than infidels. They're worse than an unbeliever. They've
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Speaker 1: denied the faith. So we take it in light of
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Speaker 1: those contrastive phrases that the widow indeed is one who
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Speaker 1: has no living relatives. But the widow who has living relatives,
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Speaker 1: verses 4, 8, and 16, is to find her sustenance
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Speaker 1: from them. See, any woman, verse 16, who is a
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Speaker 1: believer and has A dependent widow's let her assist them.
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Speaker 1: Here is a woman who has within her family heritage
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Speaker 1: the widow, and she's to care for her. We'll look
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Speaker 1: closer in a moment. Then there are widows who live
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Speaker 1: carnal lives. Verse 6. She who gives herself to wanton
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Speaker 1: pleasure is dead even while she lives. And Timothy, don't
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Speaker 1: be afraid to speak of this, says in verse 7.
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Speaker 1: Look at verse 13. At the same time, they learn
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Speaker 1: to be idle as they go around from house to house.
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Speaker 1: And not merely idle, but become gossips and busybodies. And
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Speaker 1: he describes them. Finally, verses 9 and 10 talk about
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Speaker 1: widows who are, quote, on the list. It's interesting when
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Speaker 1: you come to the New Testament and you read these words,
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Speaker 1: they sound alarming. What kind of list is it that
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Speaker 1: they kept? Look at verse 9, let a widow be
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Speaker 1: put on the list. And verse 10, if she has
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Speaker 1: a good reputation for good works, if she has brought
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Speaker 1: up children, if she's shown hospitality to strangers, if she's
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Speaker 1: if she's washed the saints' feet, if she's assisted those
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Speaker 1: in distress and has devoted herself to every good work
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Speaker 1: but refused to put younger women widows on the list.
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Speaker 1: So there is a registry that's to be kept on
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Speaker 1: behalf of widows. Now, we're understanding fairly well the first
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Speaker 1: three categories. It's the category of those that are on
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Speaker 1: the list that seems a bit enigmatic. We're not too
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Speaker 1: sure what that has reference to. But just generally speaking,
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Speaker 1: if you look at this section, verses 3 through 8
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Speaker 1: are talking generally about widows who are not supposed to
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Speaker 1: be supported by the church, financially assisted. In verses 9
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Speaker 1: to 16, we have a section where he talks about
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Speaker 1: widows who are to be supported by the church. How
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Speaker 1: that works its way out. Let me tell you, practically speaking,
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Speaker 1: what he's doing. I understand a bit of this because
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Speaker 1: as a pastor, I often long for guidelines. In fact,
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Speaker 1: if we are asked one question more than any other question,
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Speaker 1: it is, does the church have a policy on, then
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Speaker 1: they'll state the issue. Or, what's the church's official position on,
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Speaker 1: and then this visitor will ask on a particular subject.
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Speaker 1: What are the guidelines we are to go by on
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Speaker 1: the subject of, and then they'll ask a particular thing
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Speaker 1: on their mind. I think in Timothy's day, people were wondering,
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Speaker 1: where do we stand regarding widows? See, the working woman
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Speaker 1: was not as famous then as she is today. And
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Speaker 1: if a woman was not married and she found herself
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Speaker 1: in adult life in need of supporting herself, she would
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Speaker 1: often have to turn to the streets. rather than be
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Speaker 1: able to find an occupation in her world. And so
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Speaker 1: people must have asked young Timothy, the pastor, what is
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Speaker 1: our position on widows? What is our church to do
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Speaker 1: with this large number of widows, some are even younger,
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Speaker 1: whose husbands have been killed because they've been known Christians?
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Speaker 1: And in this day of persecution, we have a number
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Speaker 1: of younger widows in our assembly here in Ephesus. And
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Speaker 1: what are we to do with them? So I think
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Speaker 1: the apostle is giving the pastor here some guidelines to
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Speaker 1: follow on dealing with and understanding women in the role
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Speaker 1: of the widow in the local church. So let's go back.
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Speaker 1: Go back to verse 3 and kind of dig into
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Speaker 1: this section. Honor widows who are widows indeed. Same word,
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Speaker 1: by the way, in 1 Peter 2 is used for
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Speaker 1: giving honor to a king. I'll tell you, this man
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Speaker 1: believes in holding in great respect those who are bereaved
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Speaker 1: of their mates, those who go through a time of grief,
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Speaker 1: those whose grief lingers, as well as those who get
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Speaker 1: over the grief and are to go on with their lives.
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Speaker 1: But the one word that is used by this apostle
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Speaker 1: and used very carefully with emphasis is to give honor
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Speaker 1: to her. It's in a particular tense, this command, that
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Speaker 1: means to continue to have it a prevailing attitude. The
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Speaker 1: assembly is to look at the widow with a view
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Speaker 1: of honor and it is to be a prevalent, emphatic
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Speaker 1: sense of honor. That's to be our spirit. That's to
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Speaker 1: be our attitude. Now, what is the responsibility to these individuals?
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Speaker 1: If you look right through this passage, you'll see some
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Speaker 1: very interesting things that is said. First, those who have
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Speaker 1: living relatives. Now, verse 4, she's mentioned. If a widow
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Speaker 1: has children or grandchildren... Let them first learn to practice
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Speaker 1: piety in regard to their own family. And to make
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Speaker 1: some return to their parents, for this is acceptable in
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Speaker 1: the sight of God. Now it's clear from verse 4
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Speaker 1: that the church is not simply to open its financial
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Speaker 1: arms to every single widow in its assemblies. As a
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Speaker 1: matter of fact, according to this verse, if the widow
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Speaker 1: has children or grandchildren, that is, if you have a
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Speaker 1: parent or if you have someone in the direct bloodline
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Speaker 1: who is a widow, that individual is your responsibility, not
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Speaker 1: the church's. According to this fourth verse, which makes it
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Speaker 1: very clear, We are to learn to practice piety in
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Speaker 1: regard to our own family. By the way, see the words,
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Speaker 1: their own family? Remember them. And go back to chapter 3,
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Speaker 1: and you'll recall something we dug into closely in verses
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Speaker 1: 4 and 5. With regard to the pastor, or with
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Speaker 1: regard to the elder, verse 4 of 1 Timothy 3,
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Speaker 1: he must be one who manages his own household well.
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Speaker 1: Verse 5, if a man does not know how to
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Speaker 1: manage his own household, very same words, his own, are
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Speaker 1: used right here in chapter 5 with regard to the widow.
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Speaker 1: But before you go back, look at verse 12 of
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Speaker 1: chapter 3. Let deacons be husbands of only one wife
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Speaker 1: and be good managers of their children and their own households. Again,
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Speaker 1: using the same Explicit term. Now, with regard to the widows,
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Speaker 1: there are widows in the church who have children and grandchildren.
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Speaker 1: And in light of these children and grandchildren, it is
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Speaker 1: upon them that the responsibility rests to care for her,
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Speaker 1: to make sure she is cared for. Verse 8 makes
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Speaker 1: it even clearer that if we don't provide for our own,
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Speaker 1: see the way it's written, same terms, his own, especially
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Speaker 1: those of his own household, he's denied the faith. It's
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Speaker 1: worse than an unbeliever. Now, look back at verse 5.
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Speaker 1: She who is a widow indeed, she has no relatives.
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Speaker 1: and has been left alone has fixed her hope on
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Speaker 1: God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day.
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Speaker 1: The woman who has a living relative finds her hope
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Speaker 1: in the relatives, but the one who has no relatives
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Speaker 1: must turn strictly to God for his sustenance. And that's
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Speaker 1: where the church comes in and plays a part. Now,
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Speaker 1: she is in contrast to verse 6, and that is
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Speaker 1: the woman saying, who turns from her grief to a
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Speaker 1: lifestyle of carnality. But, the contrast is clear, but she
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Speaker 1: who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while
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Speaker 1: she lives. Now, the apostle is making a point here
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Speaker 1: that there will be some widows who will turn to
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Speaker 1: a voluptuous, luxurious, self-centered, wanton lifestyle And the church, realizing
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Speaker 1: that that is a temptation for some, is to play
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Speaker 1: a part in those who have no relatives. During our
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Speaker 1: seminary days a number of years ago, Cynthia and I
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Speaker 1: had a dear lady in our home church, who, by
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Speaker 1: the way, the church greatly assisted financially. Her name was
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Speaker 1: Aunt May. I don't believe I even remember her last name.
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Speaker 1: She was just known to us as Aunt May. And
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Speaker 1: when we would return to our hometown and when we
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Speaker 1: would visit our home church, Aunt May regularly was in
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Speaker 1: touch with us. And she asked us what our needs were.
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Speaker 1: She checked in with us. She said, now you're accountable
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Speaker 1: to me. I'm praying for you and I need to
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Speaker 1: know how you're doing. And I always felt that sense
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Speaker 1: of the right kind of obligation when we'd go back
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Speaker 1: to our church because she would She'd have this little
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Speaker 1: prayer list. She'd say, now, the last time we were together,
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Speaker 1: you mentioned, now, how'd that work out? Well, it's pretty okay.
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Speaker 1: She'd take her pen and she'd scratch that off the list.
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Speaker 1: And she'd say, I want to know what else I
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Speaker 1: need to pray for. And she was in a regular
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Speaker 1: contact with God on our behalf and we had sort
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Speaker 1: of a very special triangle between her and us and
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Speaker 1: the living God. She was one who found her hope
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Speaker 1: in the living God and she was one who was
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Speaker 1: ministering to other people and it was because she had
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Speaker 1: no living relatives it was only right that the church
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Speaker 1: play a high-profile role in her support, her assistance. Now,
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Speaker 1: Timothy is told, don't be afraid to speak like this.
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Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to say it like it is. Verse 7,
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Speaker 1: tell it straight so that they may be above reproach.
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Speaker 1: Prescribe these things well. Then he mentions in verse 8
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Speaker 1: words we've already read. Now, what about those to whom
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Speaker 1: the church is obligated? In verses 9 through 16, he
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Speaker 1: addresses that, especially 9 and 10. Let a widow be
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Speaker 1: put on the list. Apparently, in the first century, there
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Speaker 1: was an enrollment, an actual registry, a list that was kept.
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Speaker 1: And on that list, there appeared the names of individuals
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Speaker 1: who were qualified for church support. Now, if you wonder
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Speaker 1: what those qualifications were, all you've got to do is
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Speaker 1: read 9 and 10, and you've got them spelled out.
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Speaker 1: I'll help you. Number one, the minimum age was 60.
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Speaker 1: If she is not less than 60 years old, she
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Speaker 1: can be on the list. Second, she was to be
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Speaker 1: a one-man woman. Different people interpret this different ways. Some
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Speaker 1: say one man only for all of her life. She's
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Speaker 1: only been married once. She's a widow. She's over 60.
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Speaker 1: She qualifies. Some say that it is a word that
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Speaker 1: has reference to her being a monogamist, one at a
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Speaker 1: time kind of woman. Regardless of how you interpret it,
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Speaker 1: it was very clear that she was not to have been,
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Speaker 1: forgive me, a woman who slept around. She was not
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Speaker 1: to have been a woman who just kind of climbed
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Speaker 1: in off the street and expected at age 60 to
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Speaker 1: be supported by the church. She was a woman who
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Speaker 1: had lived a life that was a life of self-control,
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Speaker 1: a godly life, during the days of marriage. Now, continue
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Speaker 1: reading verse 10. She was one who had a reputation
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Speaker 1: for good works. She was one who had brought up children,
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Speaker 1: has shown hospitality to strangers. She has washed the saints' feet.
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Speaker 1: These were all expressions of good works. She is one
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Speaker 1: who assisted those in distress. Furthermore, on your list you
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Speaker 1: would add she had devoted herself to every good work.
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Speaker 1: So she had clearly lived an exemplary life, and it
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Speaker 1: was known to those in the assembly. Otherwise, how would
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Speaker 1: they know to put her on the list? So she
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Speaker 1: was well known in that role. It seems to me,
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Speaker 1: by the way, because of what follows, that an individual
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Speaker 1: in that position was to pledge herself to serving Christ.
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Speaker 1: Apparently there was a part of this, and I'm reading
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Speaker 1: between the lines, and forgive me if this isn't correct,
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Speaker 1: but apparently a part of the registry would include some
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Speaker 1: kind of public pledge, some kind of allegiance she would
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Speaker 1: take to serve the work of Christ and not to
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Speaker 1: pursue marriage. I say that because of what follows. Verse 11.
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Speaker 1: Refuse to put younger widows on the list. For when
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Speaker 1: they feel sensual desires, that is a very strong rendering,
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Speaker 1: perhaps the desire for the opposite sex, in disregard of Christ,
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Speaker 1: When they feel this urge to marry and to move
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Speaker 1: from their pledge, they will want to get married. They
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Speaker 1: will incur judgment because they have set aside their previous pledge.
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Speaker 1: There's the word. That's what causes me to say what
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Speaker 1: I said earlier. So he's saying to this pastor, be
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Speaker 1: careful about doing an overall job of enlisting all of
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Speaker 1: the widows in the church on the list. Be sure
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Speaker 1: that they're 60 and older. Be sure that they have
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Speaker 1: this reputation that's been described in 9 and 10 of
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Speaker 1: this passage. And don't put younger widows on the list.
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Speaker 1: Because there still will be this desire to engage in
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Speaker 1: marriage and to be involved in the role of wife
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Speaker 1: and family, etc. And not strictly married. giving undistracted devotion
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Speaker 1: to the things of Christ. Now, seeing that that's true,
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Speaker 1: the apostle goes a little further. He says in verse 13,
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Speaker 1: there's more than that reason. And at the same time,
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Speaker 1: they learn to be idle. As they go around from
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Speaker 1: house to house, and not merely idle, but also gossips,
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Speaker 1: and busybodies talking about things not proper to mention. That's
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Speaker 1: an interesting verse, isn't it? It describes something about being idle.
25:35
Speaker 1: You have to learn to be idle. Isn't that something?
25:40
Speaker 1: That at the same time, these younger widows, having left
25:43
Speaker 1: their previous pledge, will learn to be idle and idle
25:49
Speaker 1: They will go from house to house, not merely idle,
25:55
Speaker 1: but they will engage in talk and gossip and the
26:03
Speaker 1: passing of information that is improper. They will meddle in
26:08
Speaker 1: the affairs of others. I'm intrigued that they learn to
26:14
Speaker 1: be idle. By the way, the word idle comes from
26:17
Speaker 1: two Greek words, no work. No work. Sometime, Cynthia and I,
26:23
Speaker 1: in an exhausted state, will sink into bed about 12.15.
26:29
Speaker 1: And I will, in my last sigh, say, Can you
26:34
Speaker 1: believe some people were bored today? She usually is a
26:41
Speaker 1: little snore by then. Just gone. Just exhausted. Now, the
26:47
Speaker 1: apostle has an answer for being idle. Verse 14, I
26:53
Speaker 1: want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house,
27:01
Speaker 1: and you'll be too tired to run off at the mouth.
27:04
Speaker 1: That's the idea. Get hitched, have a house full of children,
27:08
Speaker 1: keep house, and I dare you to have time to gossip.
27:12
Speaker 1: I dare you to run around from one neighborhood to
27:14
Speaker 1: the next. I dare you to find time to do
27:17
Speaker 1: stuff that's improper. You're just going to be too tired
27:20
Speaker 1: for it. You just won't be able to pull it off.
27:23
Speaker 1: It's amazing how practical this guy gets. You'd be too
27:27
Speaker 1: tired to meddle. It is really an amazing thing. People
27:31
Speaker 1: who have the time to meddle are not working hard.
27:37
Speaker 1: Gossips and busybodies have time on their hands. There's nothing
27:45
Speaker 1: like a house full of kids to keep you from
27:49
Speaker 1: being gossipy. You're just so busy changing diapers and wiping
27:54
Speaker 1: noses and getting them off to school and fixing supper
27:57
Speaker 1: that you just can't pull it off. It's amazing how
28:00
Speaker 1: that takes care of it. And it's a very practical
28:04
Speaker 1: word here. Interesting twist in verse 16. If any woman
28:10
Speaker 1: who is a believer has dependent widows, let her assist them.
28:19
Speaker 1: You know what I think this is saying? There are
28:20
Speaker 1: some who are engaged in gainful employment. There are some
28:26
Speaker 1: who are working. There are some who have the ability
28:30
Speaker 1: to assist dependent widows, and they are to do that.
28:34
Speaker 1: Let not the church be burdened, but let it be
28:38
Speaker 1: borne by those who are able to make that happen. Now,
28:44
Speaker 1: as I bring all this to a close and kind
28:47
Speaker 1: of wrap it up with a practical statement, I think
28:50
Speaker 1: of four things that come to mind that seem to
28:53
Speaker 1: fit rather well. The first is this. Caring for one's
28:59
Speaker 1: dependent parents is a serious scriptural injunction. Caring for one's
29:10
Speaker 1: dependent parents is a serious scriptural injunction. I see that
29:17
Speaker 1: in verses 4 through 8. During the earning years, parents
29:28
Speaker 1: are to lay up for their children. 2 Corinthians 12,
29:34
Speaker 1: 14 says that. Children aren't to lay up for the parents.
29:39
Speaker 1: Parents are to lay up for the children. Proverbs 19,
29:46
Speaker 1: verse 14 says, why don't you turn to that? Proverbs 19, 14.
29:50
Speaker 1: I just found that this week. House and wealth are
29:54
Speaker 1: an inheritance from fathers and But a prudent wife is
30:00
Speaker 1: from the Lord, which is another way of saying a
30:04
Speaker 1: rich daddy can give you bucks, but he can't find
30:07
Speaker 1: you a good wife. A rich father or a father
30:11
Speaker 1: with wealth has the responsibility of helping the kids with
30:15
Speaker 1: house and wealth. But it's the Lord's job to provide
30:20
Speaker 1: the wife, to provide the mate. Now, I know where
30:25
Speaker 1: I'm going. You don't know where I'm going. So let
30:27
Speaker 1: me help you get there. Wealth is to be distributed
30:32
Speaker 1: during the lifetime, not afterwards. I fail to find in
30:37
Speaker 1: Scripture the biblical basis for leaving a pile of dough
30:40
Speaker 1: to our kids after we die. But I find a
30:45
Speaker 1: biblical basis for leaving our children with an inheritance while
30:50
Speaker 1: we're alive. While alive, we can help them handle it wisely.
30:57
Speaker 1: We can help monitor the giving. We can decide where
31:01
Speaker 1: it ought to go and have a hand in the
31:02
Speaker 1: enjoyment of it. While we are alive, we see the
31:06
Speaker 1: benefits of our wealth in the lives of our children,
31:09
Speaker 1: and we give it to them little by little as
31:12
Speaker 1: they are able to handle it. You know, because of
31:17
Speaker 1: Social Security and because of pensions and because of insurance companies,
31:21
Speaker 1: because of all of the all of the things that
31:23
Speaker 1: tend to complicate this whole issue, the simplicity of scriptural
31:26
Speaker 1: injunction is sometimes lost. You need to think about what
31:30
Speaker 1: you're doing with your wealth, parents, those of you that
31:34
Speaker 1: have it. You need to think seriously about the wisdom
31:38
Speaker 1: of keeping it all, and then upon death, the pile
31:41
Speaker 1: winds up in their lap to fight over. Believe me,
31:46
Speaker 1: having helped a few families before, try to work through that.
31:50
Speaker 1: And I'm sure I don't do anything nearly what the
31:53
Speaker 1: attorney must go through helping families. I'm discovering that many
31:59
Speaker 1: families don't learn while parents are alive how to handle
32:03
Speaker 1: the wealth. And so when they are suddenly inheritors of it,
32:10
Speaker 1: all kinds of things happen. Now, We have a little
32:17
Speaker 1: saying with our children. I'll tell you if you won't
32:20
Speaker 1: tell anybody. We say to them, we'll do our best
32:24
Speaker 1: to take really good care of you, but when we
32:26
Speaker 1: get to the place that we don't earn anymore, you
32:29
Speaker 1: better take really good care of us. Don't you dump
32:35
Speaker 1: me in some dump. I'll come back and bite you
32:37
Speaker 1: on the leg kind of thing. You take good care
32:40
Speaker 1: of me while I take good care of you as
32:44
Speaker 1: I am able. Little by little, we learn how to
32:48
Speaker 1: handle that wealth, and then in the process of time,
32:52
Speaker 1: the roles are reversed. And the child who learned how
32:56
Speaker 1: to handle the inheritance turns it and assists the parents
32:59
Speaker 1: as they are in need. Caring for one's dependent parents
33:05
Speaker 1: is a serious scriptural injunction. You need to think it through.
33:09
Speaker 1: Some of you are suddenly made aware that it's now
33:12
Speaker 1: your move. And it's frightening. My dad, as many of
33:18
Speaker 1: you know, lived with us for about four years. And
33:23
Speaker 1: as best as we had tried to prepare for it,
33:25
Speaker 1: we weren't even prepared for that. And there were some
33:29
Speaker 1: touch-and-go moments in that process. And then as ill health happened,
33:34
Speaker 1: we were facing that very hard decision of what do
33:36
Speaker 1: we do now that there's hospitalization. And The whole need
33:43
Speaker 1: for around-the-clock nursing. And my wife wasn't trained for that
33:47
Speaker 1: and certainly didn't have the energy for that. All the
33:50
Speaker 1: guilt that comes in on you. So complicated. You need
33:55
Speaker 1: to think about that. You as couples need to talk
33:59
Speaker 1: about that. What you plan to do. How you plan
34:03
Speaker 1: to carry that out. It comes upon us. It behooves
34:07
Speaker 1: us to do that. Now the second thing I get
34:10
Speaker 1: from this is that grief does not always result in godliness.
34:15
Speaker 1: Did you get that in verse 6? She who gives herself,
34:19
Speaker 1: the she is the widow. The widow, the one who
34:23
Speaker 1: has gone through grief, does not choose the lifestyle of godliness.
34:27
Speaker 1: She chooses a looser lifestyle. Do not think that just
34:32
Speaker 1: because an individual is lost to me, that individual is
34:36
Speaker 1: necessarily walking with God. Grief does not always result in godliness.
34:46
Speaker 1: We are to have a real ministry to those who
34:49
Speaker 1: are bereaved. We are to step in as best we
34:52
Speaker 1: can and minister spiritually to those individuals who find a
34:57
Speaker 1: vacuum that has suddenly sucked out of their life that oneness,
35:05
Speaker 1: that companionship, that joy. I just said to Cynthia yesterday,
35:12
Speaker 1: we were together for a little while. All the children
35:15
Speaker 1: were out doing other things, and I talked to her
35:18
Speaker 1: about how I value the companionship I have with her
35:23
Speaker 1: and how I think early on when I get up
35:26
Speaker 1: in the morning that I'm going to get a little
35:28
Speaker 1: time with her out on the patio. And I look
35:32
Speaker 1: forward in the evenings that I'm home to having just
35:35
Speaker 1: time to talk with her and be with her, and
35:38
Speaker 1: she said similar things back to me, and if suddenly
35:42
Speaker 1: death took her, there would be a massive section of
35:46
Speaker 1: my life that's dropped through. How do we face that?
35:53
Speaker 1: Because grief is no guarantee that godliness follows. In the
36:00
Speaker 1: vacuum of that loss, you can easily slide backwards. And
36:07
Speaker 1: This woman is described in this manner in verse 6. Third,
36:14
Speaker 1: and don't forget it, the church is never expected to
36:17
Speaker 1: support everyone in need. Verses 9 and 10 make it clear.
36:24
Speaker 1: Financial assistance is not to be indiscriminately spread to the
36:29
Speaker 1: entire community or even to all of those in need
36:33
Speaker 1: in the assembly. The apostle was very careful as he
36:38
Speaker 1: described who went on the list and who didn't. You
36:43
Speaker 1: know what's needed here? Discernment. Discernment provides you with two
36:49
Speaker 1: hands on the reins to guide this thing. Otherwise, your
36:54
Speaker 1: emotions will pull you in one direction and you will
36:58
Speaker 1: move toward preferential treatment and you'll let yourself get out
37:01
Speaker 1: of hand. And before you know it, you're just turning
37:05
Speaker 1: the Lord's money hand over fist indiscriminately. We cannot do that.
37:12
Speaker 1: There will always be more needs than any local assembly
37:16
Speaker 1: can meet. We need to be very, very wise. I
37:23
Speaker 1: don't remember saying this ever before. I want to say
37:27
Speaker 1: publicly how grateful I am for the care that is
37:30
Speaker 1: given to the way expenditures are handled in this church.
37:40
Speaker 1: You can rest easy at night knowing that it's being
37:45
Speaker 1: taken care of carefully. A careful eye is kept on
37:52
Speaker 1: what is proper, what is appropriate, on discriminant assistance. And
38:00
Speaker 1: I am grateful that with all of the care there
38:02
Speaker 1: is still a spirit of generosity on the part of
38:05
Speaker 1: those who watch over this part of our ministry and
38:10
Speaker 1: That includes a number on our pastoral staff who look
38:13
Speaker 1: very carefully at that budget and watch it with a
38:18
Speaker 1: sense of responsibility. People look at this church, and I
38:25
Speaker 1: hear from those who don't know the facts, they just say, my,
38:29
Speaker 1: that's just a bunch of rich people over there because
38:32
Speaker 1: it's a great big church. Isn't that something? I suppose
38:39
Speaker 1: we have a few rich people in our church. I
38:41
Speaker 1: don't care to know who they are, and I never
38:45
Speaker 1: will attempt to find out. But for the most part,
38:49
Speaker 1: we have some very ordinary folks who slug it out
38:57
Speaker 1: for every dime you make. And I think God honors
39:02
Speaker 1: this kind of discernment applied to the finances. I can
39:10
Speaker 1: assure you I keep my hand out of it. And
39:15
Speaker 1: that's why the budget balances regularly, because I'm not involved
39:19
Speaker 1: in the thing. I'd probably give away the store if
39:21
Speaker 1: I had my way about it. Now, there's a fourth
39:25
Speaker 1: part of this. Verses 13 and 14, a full busy
39:30
Speaker 1: life is much safer than an idle one. 13 and 14,
39:35
Speaker 1: you learn to be idle. A full, busy life is
39:40
Speaker 1: much safer than an idle one. You may not like
39:48
Speaker 1: to hear this, but a house full of kids is
39:50
Speaker 1: much safer than an empty house. Demands from a family
39:58
Speaker 1: provide safety much more than no demands at all. That
40:04
Speaker 1: brings a sense of accountability. Isn't this a practical book,
40:11
Speaker 1: this Bible? Isn't it great to have it? Now, you
40:16
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing? After going through this section, I
40:19
Speaker 1: am thinking about widows and our ministry to widows. And
40:25
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about how can we put into practice verses
40:32
Speaker 1: 9 and 10? Are we doing that? And if so,
40:38
Speaker 1: how is it organized? Are we fitting into the scriptural injunction?
40:42
Speaker 1: Are we carrying out our responsibilities? to do that? And
40:48
Speaker 1: are we assisting in those who really do have needs?
40:53
Speaker 1: By the way, only infrequently do we receive some kind
40:59
Speaker 1: of retiring offering, and it occurs following the communion table.
41:04
Speaker 1: After we've had the Lord's table, we have folk leave
41:07
Speaker 1: in quietness, and we have some of our men waiting
41:12
Speaker 1: at the doors as you leave, and the monies that
41:14
Speaker 1: go into that offering are are reserved for the deacon's fund,
41:19
Speaker 1: which is this special help fund that's being watched over
41:24
Speaker 1: by our boards. And it is not replenished by some
41:30
Speaker 1: fund somewhere else. It comes from our pockets into that collection,
41:35
Speaker 1: and it is monitored and maintained by the deacon board
41:38
Speaker 1: very carefully. Just yesterday, I was coming to the church
41:43
Speaker 1: to do some late afternoon study, and there was a
41:46
Speaker 1: fellow sitting on the steps right over here. And as
41:49
Speaker 1: I walked up, he said, are you one of the
41:52
Speaker 1: preachers here? And I said, yeah, I'm one of the guys.
41:54
Speaker 1: He said, well, I've got some real needs. And I
41:58
Speaker 1: thought all of a sudden how glad I am that
42:02
Speaker 1: there is a plan thought through in ways to help
42:06
Speaker 1: people who come needing assistance. And it isn't just a
42:12
Speaker 1: quick $ 20 bill and, you know, be on your way.
42:14
Speaker 1: We don't do that. It is a planned approach where
42:19
Speaker 1: we have thought through what is best. Much of it
42:22
Speaker 1: rests on our pastor to care and concerns. Much of
42:25
Speaker 1: it rests on our deacons and the committee from that,
42:27
Speaker 1: that think through who will we help and how will
42:30
Speaker 1: we do it? And if it's not one of our members,
42:32
Speaker 1: what will be the guideline to follow? Otherwise we'd have
42:36
Speaker 1: people sitting on every step we've got around here just
42:39
Speaker 1: to pick up a free lunch. But that's not what
42:42
Speaker 1: we want. That doesn't honor God. That cheapens our ministry.
42:50
Speaker 1: So in all of this, the offering will be received
42:53
Speaker 1: following this, and your giving to it will be used
42:56
Speaker 1: strictly for that. But remember, be confident that we take
43:02
Speaker 1: that job very seriously. It is to be taken that way.
43:10
Speaker 1: Just before I pray, if there's never been a time
43:13
Speaker 1: in your life when you've asked Christ to take charge,
43:19
Speaker 1: do that now. We won't plead with people and bargain
43:24
Speaker 1: with you and ask you to do a lot of
43:27
Speaker 1: things publicly. We just offer the hope of eternal life,
43:32
Speaker 1: and we ask you to receive it. It's a time
43:35
Speaker 1: for you to come to know Him. You're surrounded by
43:38
Speaker 1: people who've done that. So you won't be alone. In fact,
43:41
Speaker 1: you'll join the team. You'll get in the family. Thank you, Father,
43:49
Speaker 1: for telling us things we need to know. Thank you
43:54
Speaker 1: for the high profile of the family. And it's so
44:00
Speaker 1: valuable that you have inserted it as a part of
44:03
Speaker 1: sustenance for people in need. Rather than it's all coming
44:09
Speaker 1: from the church. That is so good. And that causes
44:14
Speaker 1: me to think again how important it is to guide
44:18
Speaker 1: my family aright. And to prepare my growing children for
44:24
Speaker 1: the inevitable future. Should Christ tarry. Now we are all
44:31
Speaker 1: dependent people. And we depend upon you to cleanse us.
44:38
Speaker 1: and to soothe our hearts, and to quieten our spirits.
44:44
Speaker 1: In his name we pray. Amen. The preceding message, What
44:50
Speaker 1: About Widows?, was copyrighted in 1984, and the sound recording
44:54
Speaker 1: was copyrighted in 2015 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All
44:59
Speaker 1: rights are reserved worldwide.