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A View From The Inside With AMY MCINTOSH From VILIFY · HEAVY Music Interviews

• 0:00
  Hello. It is Amy from Villafi and I am here with heavy bag trying
• 0:05
  to get it out out. You was single from the Inside Awesome. How
• 0:08
  are you, Tonami? What's been happening work? Because I have to do
• 0:15
  that, do that to flip whatsoever. So you've recently released your newest single,
• 0:22
  from the Inside, which you've said address is struggling with sexuality internally and
• 0:26
  externally from people from time to time. So how has the reception been so
• 0:30
  far since you released this one? Is actually been sort of been an interesting
• 0:35
  one. A lot of people love it, a lot of people love like
• 0:39
  the revenge in it and stuff like that, but it's actually the first time
• 0:41
  a lot of people are like, I don't really relate to this one,
• 0:44
  and they're like, oh, I think that's probably why I have to write
• 0:47
  it. Yeah, does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah, And I'm
• 0:50
  like, okay, that makes sense. But then a few people have been
• 0:53
  like, oh my god, yes this is perfect. A couple of interviews
• 0:57
  when I was like hearing a few people have been like, oh, I
• 1:00
  just don't really really get it, and like, as always, I'm sure
• 1:03
  you've experienced a lot of like sis heteronology. So nles are just like,
• 1:07
  well, but I feel like they don't want to be insensitive by being like,
• 1:10
  oh, yeah, i'd probably get it, so they kind of go
• 1:11
  oh, I didn't really get it, but it's it's real catchy, which
• 1:15
  is active. Yeah, yeah, which is kind of them to not kind
• 1:19
  of want to like step in the light of that, I guess. So
• 1:22
  I was trying to take it with the most positive way I could, but
• 1:26
  I was like, oh, yeah, this probably isn't as relatable to as
• 1:29
  many people as like some of maybe the other topics that I've like touched on
• 1:33
  with other things. But then I feel like I maybe went with all my
• 1:37
  talking about what it's about way too directly. It was more about the feeling
• 1:41
  I guess of of like being told to feel a certain way or be a
• 1:47
  certain way and not being able to do it. But this was just one
• 1:49
  very specific example that I wrote it off. But so for the people that
• 1:53
  related to it incredibly good, and to everyone else it was I think it's
• 1:59
  just kind that they've kind of like given me a place to kind of share
• 2:02
  those feelings and they respect them enough to be I'm not even to pretend to
• 2:06
  understand because I don't. So you have your moment, which is I think
• 2:09
  just as kind, but it's a different kind of kind if that has sense.
• 2:13
  Yeah, absolutely, And like you said, that's exactly why you need
• 2:15
  to write it and put it out there, because it is teaching people how
• 2:17
  to communicate it about it as well. Yeah, And there's been a couple
• 2:22
  of people that will look like, yeah, my friends kind of pick on
• 2:24
  me, but they pretend they loved me, And I was like, yeah,
• 2:29
  that's exactly it. So you always put your heart and soul into your
• 2:31
  writing. Are you finding the writing and releasing process is getting easier as you're
• 2:36
  going on or is it still like fucking daunting, still super daunting, but
• 2:42
  for like the opposite reason that I feel like I'm still seeing about the same
• 2:46
  stuff and it just makes me like, like internally be like, have I
• 2:50
  not progressed that it's going to help it? Yeah, but now they're all
• 2:55
  like different phases of it and different ways of dealing with it. I feel
• 2:59
  like I keep coming back similar topics, probably different mindsets. Like before I
• 3:01
  would think about something but with sadness and now I'm thinking about with anger or
• 3:06
  like a fist. It just feel like thing about the same sorts of things
• 3:09
  I feel like I've always written lyrics about things that I can't talk about as
• 3:14
  openly, So it's for some reason. As soon as I like make a
• 3:16
  raw run noise and put drums behind it, everyone's fine with it, but
• 3:20
  just chatting about it normally feels real weird. So so easier in the sense
• 3:25
  that I'll just write about anything now and I feel comfortable to do that.
• 3:29
  But before I think I was uncomfortable to somehow share those feelings. But I
• 3:32
  shared almost everything I think that I've felt at some point in another in at
• 3:38
  least a little bit in almost every deal offy song that I've put out,
• 3:40
  so that we've put out. So yeah, easier in the way that I'm
• 3:46
  not scared anymore, but then harder in the way that I like, I
• 3:49
  don't want to be repeating the same stuff, but I'm still feeling some of
• 3:53
  the same stuff, so like that fine life like yeah, and not wanting
• 3:54
  to be like a broken like record, but I still feel it. So
• 4:02
  the same dish but like different seasonings. Yeah exactly, It's just chicken but
• 4:10
  tastes different for some reason. Yeah. So the last time we spoke in
• 4:15
  twenty twenty. Since then, you've stepped away from the bass, You've brought
• 4:17
  in your beloved Lizzie, and you've stepped into being a front woman. So
• 4:21
  how's this transition going for you? Like, do you feel somewhat naked without
• 4:25
  your guitar or have you grown into it? I think I've grown into it,
• 4:30
  but I've realized my cardio isn't there. Yeah, yeah, I've got
• 4:33
  I've got to get better at that. I'm from a life perspective, it's
• 4:38
  so much better recording to just focus on one thing and one thing only and
• 4:43
  try and like know that I'm jups going in writing with the intention I still
• 4:46
  pick up a guitar and I still become a bass to like do writing stuff,
• 4:50
  which is sick, Like I actually loved that, Like guitar was always
• 4:54
  even base, but guzzar was actually like my first love. Yeah, and
• 4:57
  it's probably the thing I'd played the most, including vocals. I still you
• 5:00
  probably playing each otherwise, But in this setting, it's so much nicer to
• 5:03
  go into recording knowing I've just got my little one job that I have to
• 5:06
  do and I've just got to do it the best I can you do with
• 5:09
  it, and it's really really nice. But from Yeah, I have so
• 5:14
  much faith in the guys to do all the other stuff now, and they're
• 5:16
  infinitely better at it than me. It's a very easy thing to give up
• 5:21
  whereever got someone Danny or Kieran or even Lizzy. Yeah, you're in good
• 5:26
  hands to let go. Yeah, anything I was in the road, I
• 5:31
  love that. So your outwork from in the inside makes a great statement.
• 5:36
  So was that everyone's idea or how did that come to me? I feel
• 5:42
  I feel like I'm thinking so selfish in this one. I promise we already
• 5:45
  like people collective the visuals for this one, I actually had like the idea,
• 5:51
  like I think I had a dream about it, like the Yea,
• 5:55
  like something similar, and it wasn't related to this, But when I had
• 6:00
  drug about it, I was like, Man, then when I was writing
• 6:01
  this song, I was like, it kind of feels like that dream.
• 6:03
  I had, like this feeling that I have of like been I recently wanted
• 6:08
  to do it as a music video, but we couldn't make it work to
• 6:12
  like work in time for what we need to do and like within budget and
• 6:15
  all that sort of stuff. But it was that idea of like darkness pulling
• 6:18
  something back in and like no, like the idea of like in like in
• 6:25
  the closet. I was very literal, and I think that's why maybe a
• 6:27
  lot of people didn't relate to it. But it was I felt the artwork
• 6:30
  was my trying to make a bit more ambiguous with like a monster any months
• 6:33
  done these thing monsters doing their things. But yeah, they were literally meant
• 6:40
  to me that like whatever darkness or whatever thing that that someone else has viewed
• 6:46
  as negative is like pulling you back into this bad place. But our friend
• 6:49
  Amy not mean from her from Melbourne, who grew up here in Newcastle.
• 6:57
  She she had done artwork mom, and she does hate the spooky stuff.
• 7:01
  She's so cool like rick and creative if you want to check it out.
• 7:04
  But she does so much weird and spooky stuff where she like shoots it and
• 7:08
  photoshop set so it's not like digital as much is. She's like, can't
• 7:12
  like composit composite photos together, that makes sense. And I was like,
• 7:15
  I reckon she would smash this, like absolutely smash it, and she said
• 7:19
  it's like the first trip. I'm like, it's done. Yeah, that's
• 7:23
  exactly what I meant. I was like, I just want being white,
• 7:25
  like the most transparent sort of like life, and that's like how I feel
• 7:29
  around, Like I'm me and I feel really this and then there's like these
• 7:31
  creepy things behind me, you trying to pull me back in and yeah,
• 7:34
  and she just nailed it, like that was exactly what we wanted the picture
• 7:39
  in my head. It's like she pulled it out somehow. Yeah, now
• 7:42
  that's cool. It ties in perfectly. Yeah for what you're going forward the
• 7:46
  song, I think that's absolutely perfect. Yeah, all right, so you've
• 7:50
  accomplished a lot since your EP Clarity. Do you feel like Vilify has morphed
• 7:55
  into what you hope for? Yeah? I want an more though, ye
• 8:00
  look done, got done. Yeah, we actually feel like it's funny that
• 8:05
  you talk about when Clarity out. I would love to hear that even be
• 8:07
  like, yeah, I'll send it to you. I don't know where at
• 8:11
  that point, but so much stuff for us got so like and I don't
• 8:16
  know if the lands work, but I'm gonna it's so fucked up, Like
• 8:18
  we had so much stuff planned that got canceled and it was just so defining.
• 8:22
  And it feels like whenever I think I love these bands so much because
• 8:26
  of all this hidden adversity that no one knows has happened. Not just we
• 8:31
  had like the greatest, grandest plans, all laid out a million times over
• 8:35
  and just something that goes wrong, but we just keep out of it,
• 8:39
  just keep choking away, and everyone's like, fork, you guys doing so
• 8:41
  well? One you surely see what was planned? Hard words, It was
• 8:45
  hard work because what was that There was December twenty twenties that was like climate
• 8:50
  land, covid land. Yeah. Yeah, the first time it kind of
• 8:54
  lifted when we started playing shows and then it we were like, Okay,
• 8:56
  we're good, and we booked like almost the whole year and then it so
• 9:01
  then we were like cool. But then all like the kind of opportunities we
• 9:05
  had that we're ready to go didn't really present themselves again, so then we
• 9:09
  were like blindy head. So we had to kind of like start again on
• 9:13
  some other stuff. But not that I'm ungrateful for every opportunity we had,
• 9:16
  because we played some these crazy shows that I just never would have thought you
• 9:20
  could have played. And we've got really so much music that we just never
• 9:24
  thought we would have that, at least my music out already. But yeah,
• 9:28
  we it has done so well better than I expect it, if that
• 9:33
  makes sense. But what did you got out? And we're going to do
• 9:37
  more. We've got so much more and we're definitely not done. We're delivering
• 9:41
  what we've got. Do that because quotes to what we wanted to sound like
• 9:48
  as well, Like everything else, we've loved every single thing we put out.
• 9:50
  Always said the next thing has to be we have to love it more
• 9:54
  than people. We just did, and it's always been the case. But
• 9:56
  like the last we feel like the last movie, like four three or four
• 10:03
  songs, we're like, oh no, we finally got to a point where
• 10:05
  like we want this is what we are all super happy for it to sound
• 10:07
  like. Not that anyone was ever compromising. We just were like, oh,
• 10:13
  this is my favorite or this is my favorite, and we'd like never
• 10:16
  like fully agree. I love it hard Eddie, I know he was going
• 10:22
  to pop up at some point. Sorry, it's okay, but yeah,
• 10:26
  we always agree that we loved this song and everything came out with our best
• 10:28
  one. Yeah, but like it's a different Channe or the vibe, it
• 10:31
  was all different. But everyone this now so far's been like nah, that's
• 10:35
  it, is it? Oh? Yeah, this one's it. So we're
• 10:37
  like, yeah, yeah, we're like at the point where everything we're right,
• 10:41
  we would want to listen to. We're super proud to show other people
• 10:45
  we feel like if we need to see oud a little bit different as well.
• 10:46
  So we're very excited. So we've got more. We've got heaps more.
• 10:52
  Yes, awesome. So you're always up front and honest about your battles
• 10:56
  you encounter from time to time mentally, which I think is an amazing thing.
• 10:58
  It's great tool. We all have our demons, that's for sure.
• 11:03
  Have you found your community and being so transparent with your fans and peers?
• 11:07
  I do you feel like that is like a kind of a diary kind of
• 11:09
  thing where you can open up and feel better or yeah, how does that?
• 11:13
  Yeah? Double edged sort because I feel some of the people I've met
• 11:18
  and people I've encountered at like live shows and even online, I'm sort of
• 11:24
  have to crap online. So I am sorry that sounds like I'm just giving
• 11:28
  people is bad, But like, especially in live shows, it's it's it's
• 11:33
  a double aged sort of because hearing I love to try and take the time
• 11:37
  to talk to anyone that wants to talk to me about anything, and they
• 11:41
  hearing other people's experiences and how they relate and how how our music has helped
• 11:46
  them or even like music, like someone will see a shirt I'm worry about
• 11:50
  for I love that fan. I'm like, yeah, they like help me
• 11:52
  so much. I love having that conversation with someone when you're in the right
• 11:56
  headspace. But the unfortunate thing about playing shows is you're always in the right
• 12:00
  headspace, but you have to just give you in the right headspace. So
• 12:05
  for ninety nine percent of the time, it's it's the most therapeutic, cathartic
• 12:09
  thing to like relate to someone and be like, oh my god, you
• 12:11
  feel is defficult. I feel that's so exciting that you came to me and
• 12:13
  that's what the guy said, and you were like, doubt that. I'm
• 12:16
  like, I'm not a moment, I'm not you know, we're all heres
• 12:18
  like that's the best. But then, yeah, straight, honestly, like
• 12:22
  the sometimes though, look, just sometimes you just want to be at home
• 12:26
  with your cat, Ye feel that completely, and someone telling me how sad
• 12:33
  they are doesn't help me feel any better. So but yeah, most of
• 12:37
  the time, the best thing ever, there's such a good community, and
• 12:41
  I feel like even for myself even when I first started going to shows there
• 12:46
  though, Yeah, the song people wrote music about all these things, but
• 12:52
  I feel like the conversation was a bit different where now that we talk about
• 12:56
  it so much, and I would like to be part of that reason that
• 12:58
  people are happy for about it as opposed to suffering silence sort of thing.
• 13:01
  So, even when I'm not in the mood, I make myself in the
• 13:05
  mood. Let's do it. Yeah, that's cool. That's also that you
• 13:07
  are able to be the voice of people who can't do it. Even when
• 13:11
  you feel like you can't do it, you stand out, which is an
• 13:13
  incredible thing. That's really cool. The guys really help when I'm not in
• 13:18
  the mood down, they look after me a little bit. Yeah. Well
• 13:22
  yeah, family, that's what they're there for. Yeah. So how do
• 13:26
  you go with work, love life, band and everything else in between day
• 13:30
  and to day life? Are you part optopus or what's the go there?
• 13:35
  Well, I've done a really good job of making them all weirdly related in
• 13:39
  my life, like a bunch of circles like a bend diagram. Yeah,
• 13:41
  we chunk of it, same ship, which is very great hand. Yeah,
• 13:46
  so as you said, yeah, I got the couple of bands.
• 13:50
  Lizzy's in both, so you can't make exact relate that. You're pretty interesting.
• 13:54
  I wouldn't say makes it easier because it makes it. We don't spend
• 13:58
  a lot of quality time together, but we spent a lot of time together.
• 14:03
  Ye, so yeah, it's a little bit different. But when you
• 14:05
  try to make the best stuff that we can just to turn like little the
• 14:09
  moments into what other people probably would go on holidays for. We're just trying
• 14:13
  to go, oh, let's have a Thursday where we get pizza. The
• 14:20
  biggest struggle is always like the work being balanced thing, because it's so expensive.
• 14:26
  Everything is so expensive, even if the making money, just not being
• 14:31
  there is expensive. Just because red food all that sort of stuff is so
• 14:35
  expensive. Nothing stops when you go onto us. Yeah. I have a
• 14:39
  really, really beautiful job where everyone is super supportive and my boss is an
• 14:46
  absolute sweetheart and tries to make everything work for me to be able to make
• 14:48
  it happen, which I just feel so like I don't deserve it, but
• 14:54
  I will do everything in my power to make it up to him permanently.
• 14:58
  But the same as everyone I work with all my little babies at work.
• 15:03
  They just support every zoo they come to, every show that they came.
• 15:07
  It's all kinds of weirdly related. But that just makes it so easy because
• 15:13
  when I'm away, they know what I'm doing and they're not like, oh,
• 15:16
  you're a slacker. They know I'm killing it doing something else. So
• 15:18
  if I come back and I'm tired, they're not like smart ARSI, They're
• 15:22
  like they're probably hungover because they were there too. Yeah, oh that is
• 15:26
  awesome. The friends thing seems to get lost a little bit, but that
• 15:31
  so I do feel bad for my friends. So I end up mostly just
• 15:35
  with music friends, which I guess is the only the only sort of friends
• 15:39
  I guess I need. Anyway. There's no hard work there. They're understanding
• 15:45
  and all in the same boat. It's fucking easy. Yeah, I say,
• 15:48
  my mama, that's probably the one. Oh momsy come on. Man.
• 15:54
  It leaves Disney and I'm Newcastle, so I'm learning her mostly don't see
• 15:58
  me, mam. Yeah that was more than I see her. Yeah,
• 16:03
  I'll send her this. So I'm digging this like all black vigilante. Look,
• 16:11
  you guys are got It was like the all black, you do your
• 16:14
  belt in your long sleeves kick us. Is this intentional or does somehow become
• 16:17
  a uniform. Well, we're all these big emos at heart, really,
• 16:22
  so everything comes in at fally to most of us. But we were we
• 16:29
  were thinking about the idea. I know so many bands are doing like our
• 16:32
  look thing, but it wasn't so much that as more of a we wanted
• 16:36
  to. We we all feel like when we go on stage, where like
• 16:38
  a different version of ourselves. Like yeah, I don't think I get up
• 16:44
  on stage and I'd be like the biggest tough seaborn out there, but I
• 16:48
  feel like to get up on stage under a very message and it's very different
• 16:51
  to the version of me that's like ha poo jokey like. So we were
• 16:56
  trying to like make away to sort of separate those because it was super weird,
• 17:00
  Like we almost wanted away, And it's similar to what you were saying
• 17:03
  about. It's similar what we were saying about how like sometimes it's not always
• 17:06
  on. It felt really easy to go, We'll leave. I get in
• 17:08
  this outfit and I feel this way, and I get out there and I'd
• 17:12
  be angry and I get all the angry out and then I got to put
• 17:15
  my stupid anime T shirt on and I start making part jokes because sometimes like
• 17:22
  there's some aggression that comes out in live music that you like. It's almost
• 17:25
  like, oh, I don't like that about myself a little bit, like
• 17:26
  it's it's company that I have a place to leave it, but I kind
• 17:30
  of want to believe it, if that makes sense. So it's nice to
• 17:32
  be like, oh, this is like my little costume and I do my
• 17:34
  little performance. But this angry version of myself because I spent so much in
• 17:40
  my life trying to not be angry, it's a little angry version of myself.
• 17:42
  I get to get changed. I'm no longer that person. I'm the
• 17:47
  healthy, emotion lily stable person that I want to be. Yeah, we
• 17:52
  wanted to kind of like separate that to be out this is the performance version
• 17:55
  of us, but we didn't want it to be like something that wouldn't still
• 18:00
  radiators what we're like. So so so sometimes it's a little bit fun if
• 18:04
  it's a show that's a little bit silly, a little bit fun. Sometimes
• 18:07
  it's a little bit fancy. If it's a show that feels like it needs
• 18:10
  a bit fancy, but we wanted to feel more like a unit. We
• 18:12
  wanted to If you see us walking through the crowd getting ready, like,
• 18:15
  oh, they're together, like we wanted to go, that's that they're a
• 18:19
  family, They're a group, Like there's a resemblance there. We all look
• 18:22
  incredibly different as humans, so we're like, look, we're a family though,
• 18:26
  so it's like the world's worst version or if you watch repuls drag Race,
• 18:30
  where I want to family resemblance, like we're trying, but it's just
• 18:34
  like that's all would feel like black, but it works still like I noticed
• 18:40
  it, like it's smoking. Yeah, And we just didn't want to like
• 18:45
  we've been the beard next door. We've been those guys next door. We've
• 18:48
  got to kind of elevate it. People coming to see see us perform,
• 18:49
  and we want to like make them feel like they're seeing something, if that
• 18:53
  makes sense. We want to put the ethics so people know that we are
• 18:57
  trying to be something worth turning up for, as opposed to just oh yeah,
• 19:03
  we're all going to burn or pick up my guitar, like how we
• 19:07
  playing and we think about it everything. We just want people to know that
• 19:11
  we care as as much as we can in every aspect. So it's kind
• 19:14
  of that I yes, yeah, yeah, cool, what's working? Good
• 19:17
  moves? So last question for you, what's on the cards for Vilified?
• 19:22
  So you got a couple of shows or actually got plenty of shows coming up,
• 19:25
  is there an album on the cards or what are you guys thinking?
• 19:29
  Well, originally, we were playing the game and just like writing out singles
• 19:32
  because we hadn't really decided on a sound, like, we just kept being
• 19:33
  like, oh, we're happy, they're all kind of different. But we
• 19:37
  then realized there was underlying gits that felt very similar, and like yeah,
• 19:44
  we and we, I'll be honest, we were all feeling really defeated,
• 19:47
  Like we had a couple of singles that didn't kind of go in the way
• 19:49
  we're expecting, had a couple of shows that didn't like fell through that were
• 19:53
  that we were kind of like banking on. So we're all feeling a little
• 19:56
  bit defeated. And then the other day they were just like I don't remember
• 19:59
  who it. I honestly don't remember whose idea it was, but we're just
• 20:03
  someone of him. Fuck it, do you want to do an EP again?
• 20:07
  And you order him? Oh, that's exciting, like the idea of
• 20:11
  finding a thing like I'll be so transparent, honest, I think we've got
• 20:15
  like eight songs ready and go like almost in our album problem like not but
• 20:21
  like demode and that sort of thing, and we're like, huh yeah,
• 20:26
  like a live body work like that, we can tie it together and make
• 20:30
  it feel cohesive. And then I've even like gone back to the table a
• 20:33
  little bit on some of the lyrics to try and like not to change her,
• 20:37
  but to be like, Okay, what are some similarities sore the missing
• 20:38
  ones that are missing lyrics, I can like find the missing pieces that work
• 20:42
  more cohesively together. I think it's something that was missing from the Clarity EP
• 20:47
  was that it was just a bunch of songs that we had that we were
• 20:48
  ready to put out where this one would try and make it a little bit
• 20:52
  more of a little unit we maybe like a longer sort of direction as like
• 20:56
  a body. But that was the most exciting thing we'd had happened in the
• 21:00
  band in a while. And it's not that everything's been doing in Gloom.
• 21:03
  It just was really exciting to ask the idea, like we went that sounds
• 21:06
  so good, so EPNX for sure, but we've got another single very soon
• 21:11
  anyway, not sooner soon about in the works. Awesome. Oh, thank
• 21:17
  you, Amie. Thanks for your time. That was awesome and I'm looking
• 21:21
  forward to seeing what comes out in the future. Yeah, it'll be sooner
• 21:25
  than you think, and we'll have a chat about that one. Awesome.
• 21:26
  Yeah. I was gonna say we'll catch up when this comes out, So
• 21:29
  I have a feeling it's gonna there's excitement there. I loved that