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#005_ Building Your Life Resume · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: We can talk about whatever you want. Man, I'm excited
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to have you back, dude. It's good to see you
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: you too, Man, thanks for thanks for coming out. Man,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: No, I'm you know, you've done a laugh for me, man,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: I really just not just stuff that you've done for
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: me personally. I mean you've always been you know, you've
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: been a good friend to me and supportive. But just
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: do your guests as a fan, you know, I mean,
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I've learned so much and it's just great to see
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: how people gravity towards the you know, just the genuine
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: You're just genuine man. So there's a lot of snake
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: oil out there.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: There's definitely a lot of snake oil out there. But I,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I mean, that's that's the
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: thing that I'm trying to be most conscious of all
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: the time, Like is this real? Like am I being real?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Or am I?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Am I? Is there artifice here that I need to
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: strip away from? Like you know, the word authenticity now
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: has become so co opted that I don't even know
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: what that means anymore, but it is true, Like I'm
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: trying to just you know, I'm just trying to you know,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: present these people and ask them the questions that I
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: want to know the answers to, and then I think
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the audience wants to know the answers to and just
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: fucking keep it real. Now, Yeah, you know, so it's good.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: It's good to have you. And uh, there's been I
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: mean I was thinking, like when I first met you,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I went to your house in Atlanta. We didn't know
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: each other really and I didn't know what to expect.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: We had a great conversation. But you've done a lot
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: since then. I feel like at that moment in time,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: it was right on the right at the beginning of
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: when Living with the Seal was coming out, and and
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you were kind of like, okay, entrepreneur who like wrote
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: this book. And now, I mean, how long ago was that?
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Three years ago or something like that. Now you've got
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: this other book coming out that I want to talk about.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: But you've kind of stepped into this world of like
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: like motivational guruve guy, you know, creating all these events.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Like you're really out like cultivating community around these ideas
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: in a way that you weren't doing at that point
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: in time, right, Like that's kind of an evolution for you.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: It has been a process, and like many things in
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: my life, it wasn't planned. I didn't plan it. I didn't,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: you know, even the book with David. I didn't invite
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: David to come live with me and say, Okay, we're
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: going to write it a book book. And I think
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: it would have been a totally different outcome if that
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: was the case. He lived with me, and it was
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: an amazing journey, and I started sharing the story, and
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: people were gravitating towards like what makes a guy like
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: that tick? And how do I get the secret sauce
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: and drive and consistency and discipline of someone like that?
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: And and ultimately it led to well, let me share
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: that and the same thing with this whole kind of
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I would call it. I definitely
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: call it guru, but motivation or whatever, it's just honesty.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: It's like, this is how I lived my life, and
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: if people are into it, let me give you a
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: look inside under the hood of you know, how I
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: live my life. I think I bit differently than others,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: but it's just how I want to live it.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: You know, did you make a conscious decision like, Okay,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start sharing this stuff or was it
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: because people were responding to you in a different way,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: or like how did that evolve?
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: It started like anything else, super small, Like my wife
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: always says, start small, think big, and scale fast in business,
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: and this is the same kind of thing. Friends would
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: come to my house and they would be like, this
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: was an amazing day, Like I can't believe, and I'm like,
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: I do this every day, you know, this.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Is what I do.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Like, you know, we get up, we have a good
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: health idea, we work out, you know, we talk about stuff.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: We live as big and as fun and as happy
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: as we possibly can. And of course there's hiccups and
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I'm like wow this, you know, like you want more?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: This come over again, and then like more people would
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: come and.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: But when it's your normal, you're just like, well this
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: is this is isn't everybody doing this right? And you
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: don't realize until you invite those other people over the
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: contrast between how you're living versus other people, Like I
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: get a little bit of that just you know, we
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: live a pretty unique kind of non traditional you know
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: life here here. You got a little idea of that.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: But when you're just sleeping, it's just my normal thing.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, yeah, but everybody should do that.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, people would think that's a
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: little bit different.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I think when I first spoke to you, if it'd
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: just been made public that David Goggins was the guy
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: in the book, because in Living with a Seal you
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: never name him, right, and there was some question as
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: to whether you were ever going to be able to
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: like say who it was specifically. And it's been interesting
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: over the last couple of years, and maybe just even
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: in the last year alone, how David has made this
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: kind of conscious effort to step out into the public
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: eye and share his story in a real way. I
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: mean I was able to get him on the podcast,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: and now I've seen he's done a bunch of shows
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: and he's working on a book and all that kind
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: of stuff. So that's been kind of cool to see too, because,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: as you know, and as I you know, knew going
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: way back, I'm like, this guy needs to like share
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: what he's got, you know. I do like people don't
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: realize what he's sitting on top of so and then
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: when he goes and he does these shows, people are
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: just like, what, you know, they can't even wrap their
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: head around it.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, I think people are so myself included,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: We get caught in our own routine. And what what
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I found, at least in my own life, is time
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: goes really fast when you're in a routine and you're
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: doing the same thing over and over, and before you
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: know it, you wake up and you're seventy or eighty
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: and you're like, oh man, I can't climb that mountain
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: that I wanted to climb anymore. And you know, when
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: you see people that are doing something differently and you
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: gravitate towards that and you change, time slows down. You
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: feel super alive, and you know, his story is so compelling.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's so interesting a how he thinks
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: and how he approaches life. But I think anyone like
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: that has a different outlook that gives you a little
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: bit of nugget or wisdom that helps you improve, can really,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: you know, have changed the effect on how you live.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: We were just talking about it a minute ago before
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: we started the podcast of How I'm Turning fifty, And
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: the thing that's fundamentally shifted for me as I turned
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: fifty is my relationship with time. And I think that people.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: We think of relationships in terms of my relationship with
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: my family, my kids, my wife, my parents, but we
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: don't think of relationships in terms of money and time.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: And you know, my relationship with time was at a whack.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: And as I turned fifty, I realized, like, man, the
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: average American lives to be seventy eight. Now I hope
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I'm not average, but that's a fact. And if I
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: am the average, I got twenty eight summers left, and
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: my summers between seventy and eighty are going to be
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: you know, my relevant year shrink dramatically as a percentage
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: every year I get older, So I'm not going to
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: be able to do what I love to do, what
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: makes me tick. Hopefully I will, but likely I didn't
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: see a lot of people doing one hundred mile run.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I did that. We're seventy five years old. Yeah, I
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: got twenty eight. If you have twenty eight summers, it's like, well,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: who do you want to spend that time with and
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: what do you want to do? And it's like something
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: happened as I'm turning fifty that I'm so damn aware
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: of it that literally literally it's in my DNA. It's
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: like every night I go to sleep, I'm like, did
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I maximize the day? You know? And like jesse Man,
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: you got you know, if you have twenty eight years left,
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: what in the world do you want to accomplish before
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: that time is up? You know. So I've had this
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: fundamental shift and it's fucking with me.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: But what I think is interesting about you is I mean,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: first of all, I would agree like for me, you know,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: forty was what it was, but like fifty is a
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: different deal, you know, like you know, and it really
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: hit me at fifty one, Like we were talking before
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: the podcast, like my hair shark gone gray like immediately,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: and it's like my fact's a little tight.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: It's like it's the first instance of experiencing, you know,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: any kind of aging because I always just feel like
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I'm twenty four or whatever, and for the most part,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: is still feel that way. But it is, you know,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I found it to be significant. But I think what's
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: what's unique about you is, look, you you live your
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: life in you know, a pretty unique set of circumstances,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Like you can fucking do whatever you want, right and
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: most people who are you know, in your scenario are
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: just chilling, you know, they're going on nice vacations and
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: they're just relaxing and they're not continuing to push themselves. So, like,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: what is it inside of you that's always like trying?
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: You know that that like impulse to like continually grow
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: and put yourself in uncomfortable situations and expand your horizons.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Well, I think I'm driven. For me, I'm a big
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: believer in building your life resume versus your personal red
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, having a business resume is important, but I
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: think a life resume is a real good look of
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: your own of your real body of work. It's a
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: real indication of who you are and what you're becoming.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: And I am that nobody cares that the Dallas Mavericks
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: or or won the championship five years ago, or that
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Alabama won the football It's like what's next, And that's
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: how I live my life. It's like check the box.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I don't want to sit and dwell on the fact that, Okay, Jesse,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: you ran this marathon or you completed you sold this
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: or whatever, because tomorrow no one cares about that. And
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: so it's like check the box and move on. And
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: that's that's It's like, how can I build the biggest
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: life resume that I can build, and those things and
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: those challenges and pushing myself again, for me is the
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: only way to really know what I'm made of. It's
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: where all the growth is, all the growth is there,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: and it truly and you know it truly in my
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: heart of hearts, makes me feel the most alive. It's
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: what I like to do. If I didn't like it,
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't do it. I would just be like, all right,
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to a fancy hotel and sit in
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: the lobby and drink Martini's.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: But it requires, I think what it does is it
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: forces you to confront yourself in a very humbling way,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Like it requires some humilas absolutely, Like you got to
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: check your ego at the door, and you're you know,
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: you're in a situation where you could just be feeding
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: your ego all day long. Right, So so it's about
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: like always remembering like there's more to do, there's more
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: to there's more to learn.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: There's there's there's there's there's always a horizon that's a
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: little bit outside of your reach. And if you have
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: the willingness to approach that, that's where some magic can
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: happen for yourself, and that's where you feel alive, and
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: that's where that you you do experience that thing where
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: time slows down.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: You do. And I think, you know, I've had plenty
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: of regrets in my life. If I could go back,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: they always say, look, what would you tell your twenty
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: one year old self and what would you do differently?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: And there's a lot of stuff. It's easy to look
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: back and play Monday morning quarterback and say this is
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: what I'd be doing. I have a lot of regrets,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: but from those lessons, it's like I don't want to
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: have those regrets. I want to do as much as
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I can to prevent that forward. So you know, you
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: only get what we all had this twenty four hours
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: in a day. Yeah, you're everybody listening you myself. It's
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: just how you spend it. And I'm super obviously you
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: have to work and you have to bring an income,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: but you get one life, you know, like you can't
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: there's no redo, And I don't want to live it
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: like streamline, like just a steady line going across. I
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: want to kind of always who doesn't want to live
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: it with an uptick? I always trying to kind of reach.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: So that's why I love the challenges. And you you're
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: wired the same way.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I think a lot of people though
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: think like they don't they consciously know they don't get
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: a redo. But so many people and I'm guilty of this.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: This is the way I used to live. Like you
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: just sort of resign yourself to how you're living, and
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: there's some part of you that does think, like, well,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: next time, I'll do it differently. This idea that there
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: is going to be a next time. It's so you know,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the reality of like the twenty eight Summers is like,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: you know, that just puts it into perspective in a
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: very real Yeah.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: And when you start to realize your own like you
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: get in tune with your own mortality, Like you start
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: to realize that, like in a hundred years, nobody that
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: you see on the street is going to be here anymore.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: You know. Like, first of all, it's a great motivator
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: to get over fear because who cares? But we're all
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: going to be dead in like eighty years, Like who
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: cares what this guy thinks about me? You know. But
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: when you start to realize that, let's just take the
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: twenty eight summers, and I hope I'm wrong. I hope
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I live. We all live longer. But let's just say
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: that that is the case. You know, when you look
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: at it that way and say, like, I have my
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: parents are both alive. My parents? Are your parents alive?
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: How old are your parents?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Seventy six seventy four?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: And where do they live?
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Washington, DC?
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: And how often do you see them?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Like twice a year?
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, So most people be like, okay, you know I
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: have Let's say your parents live till eighty they have
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: five more years. Okay, let's just say roughly, you would
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: say I have five more years of my parents. But
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I would say, no, you have ten more times with
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: your parents. If you see them twice a year, you
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: see him twice a year, times five, you have ten
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: more times to see them. When you start thinking of
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: things like that, your first reaction is I want to
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: go see my parents. At least that's mine. You know,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: my parents are eighty eight. They live in Florida. I
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: live in Atlanta, and I'm like going to see him
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: two times a year. I'm like, man, if they live
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: to be ninety one, I'm going to see him six
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: more times. That's unacceptable to me. So you change the
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: way you approaching. I'm like, I'm going to go see
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: my parents every other month, you know, I'm going to
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: make it a priority. And we don't think like that.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: We think ahead, you know, it's like nothing's going to happen.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: It's always going to be great. You know, in two
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: years we're going on a vacation, We're going here, I'm
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: gonna put it off. I'm going to do it next year.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: When you start to think backwards, it creates insane urgency.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: At least it has for me, you know, And that's
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: what led me to the monastery. I was like, like,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I'm not waiting five years to do anything.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Right, right right? I think there's a watch that you
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: can get that counts it down from that.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I have that watch what you do I do?
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I thought about that the other day and I was like, Yeah,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: that would just freak me out, though, to be always
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: looking at it that way, that could that could make
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: you neurotic too.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I think it could. And it's not like it's not
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: like I'm obsessed with the whole notion of time and
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: and that, and you can see that, you know, you
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: can think like that could be depressing, but for me,
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: it's motivating and it's exciting.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: But we don't we don't think about death in a
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: healthy way in our culture. We just we pretend it's
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: not going to happen on some on some level, we
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: all kind of think somehow we're going to avoid it. Yeah,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: and when it does happen, it makes us very uncomfortable.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: We don't know how to communicate around it. And I
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: feel like if we could, if we could bring awareness
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: about our own mortality into our daily existence, which is
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: basically what you're you're saying right now, that it will
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: allow us to appreciate, you know, our days in a
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: way that we're challenged by right now.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: I think so very much. So I think that's part one,
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: and I think part two is as we age, not
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: like we're ninety rich, you know, you're fifty, well having
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: a conversation like we're eighty nine years old each. We
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: have plenty of great years left ahead of us. But
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: you know, one of my goals is to age with vibrancy,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: you know, and not be medicated and restricted as I
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: get into my seventies and eighties. You know, I think
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: the average American, I think there's four billion prescriptions prescribed
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: every year. It's like it's like thirteen for every man,
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: woman and child in this country or something something like that.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: It's some outrageous number. I think that actually might be
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: the stat and I'm not a statistician, but I would
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: just say by looking at my parents in their inner circle,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of that are to the elderly, blood thinners
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: and this thing and heart and pain and this, and
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: it's like why why just to see you know, like
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: my goal is to one of my goals is to
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: just to live now in a way that will allow
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: me to be vibrant in the future.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: And the challenge is that you present to yourself, like
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: always pushing yourself and putting yourself in these uncomfortable situations,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: that that creates that plasticity, that that that keeps you young.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I think it keeps you engage, It keeps you, you know, vibrant,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: like you said, and and I think that's you know,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: that's really the way if you if you want like
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: the recipe for youth, you know, to be connected to
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: other people, to cultivate community, to put yourself in these
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable situations to the extent that you can continue to
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: do that because it is. It's it is about the
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: quality of the time that you're spending. It's not just
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: getting old, Like how long are you going to live?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Like what are those last eight years going to look
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: like for you?
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean exactly. I mean that's thirty three percent
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: in my life, right, you know left, No, it's a
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: big I'm serious, it's a big you know, you have
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: to think like I think it's important to think like
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: that as opposed to being in a bubble and living
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: just you know, you plan everything else. We planned so
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: far ahead. You probably talk to your wife, what are
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: we going to do in Christmas vacation? You know, what
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: are we going to do? Like everything is forward, but
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: reverse engineer. It's no different than like it's like when
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: I was when I was starting out in business and
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: we had mark. Any of the ventures that I've been in,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I've always had the the end of the movie in
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: my head. The script had to be filled in, and
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: the script might have rewrites along the way, but the
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: end of the movie was always crystal clear. It's like, Okay,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: this is good. You know, there was no like b
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: planned this is what this is where we have to
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: get to and this is now let's figure out, let's
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: figure the shit out, and who do we have to
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: hire to get there and what do we have to do.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: It's the same thing with like kind of like life, right,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, like, you know, you want to be eighty,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: but what does eighty look like for you for a
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: rich role?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I need to do a better job
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: of that. I mean, you said to me before the podcast,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, what does your life look like
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: in five years? And I was like, I'm not sure,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: You know, like I was like, what do I know?
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I know? Yeah, yeah, You're like, oh, I always have
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: a crystal clear view of you know, what this is,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: how this is going to work out at the end,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: what the endgame looks like. And I you know, I
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: think I could. I think I have a lot of
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: improvement in that regard because I don't tend to think
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: in those terms for starters.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Tell yourself in five years, you know you're going to
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: be thirty five years old, just reverse reverse ag.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's good.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good. I mean I think part of it is,
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: you know, like you mentioned, part of the Fountain of
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Youth is doing these challenges and working out and being active.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: But how much of your life is because you forecasted
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: five ten years ahead of time. Like I feel like
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: a lot like you just said at the beginning, like oh,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: this is all happening organically, Like now you're you're being
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: this motivational guy, Like this wasn't a whiteboarded, you know,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: agenda for you. This is like a natural, organic outgrowth
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: of the things that you're just you're magnetized by that
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: you're interested in.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I mean I didn't I didn't plan any
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: of this. I didn't plan the living with the you know,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: the Seal book and where writing books has taken me,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: or speaking or any of that stuff. But now that
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I'm here and I have a lane, I have a vision,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: and I'm always kind of now I'm projecting out three
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: to five years, like you know, I'm enjoying it first
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: of all. If if it doesn't resonate, I'm out of here.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And if I don't enjoy it, I'm out of here.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: You know, which goes to like when I look at
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: things like that, I look at it likely in a
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: very very simple way, uh, risk aggravation versus reward if
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: it's low aggriva. And we talked about this before the podcast.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: I was asking about your system and everything. It's like,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: low aggravation, high reward is the target for anything people work.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: If it's high aggravation, high reward. When you're young, that's okay,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: But as you get older, you don't want high aggravation
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: in your life. We talked about this. I could see
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: it in your face.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: You're slept in a tent. That's that's not an aggravating
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: thing for me at all.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: But it's a tell huminating thing. It's telltale, you know.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: So if it becomes high aggravation, then it would be
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: something that I would exit. But it wasn't planned. But
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: now that I have this lane, I am projecting out
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: three to five years, you know, like what could it
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: be and how big could it be?
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: And what is the vision?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I have this little an online quite I don't want.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: This isn't pitchy. I'm just you asked. I have an
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: online course. So that's something I think could scale and
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: and that's something I'm putting a lot of energy into.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I enjoy speaking. It's just staying in the lanes that
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I like and making them bigger.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Right, So you're going around, you're you're you're doing tons
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: of talks, right, I am traveling a lot, doing a
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: lot of public speaking, and like you do, but you
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: but it's not just like you show up and you
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: give a speech, like you're going on runs with people.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: You're taking them out into the out into nature and
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: having these experiences. And now you're creating these adventure endurance
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: challenge slash, you know, wellness retreat like weekend. So let's
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: talk about that. I mean, I just in the podcast
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: that went up last night, I did I did a
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: read for your you know, the new thing that you're doing,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: the Maiden Denali thing, which is super cool. Yeah it was.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: It's you know, I've gained so much from doing challenging things,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: and I feel like the same courage, the same resilience
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: and persistence to accomplish a really tough endurance event translates
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: into business, parenting, all the areas of your life. It's
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: almost like it's almost like that's the workout for all
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: these other buckets, you know, because it translates that grit,
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: it doesn't disappear because the race is over. You can
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: apply it to patience with your kids and then they're
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: having a tantrum or. I mean, they asked Richard Branson
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: what the what the biggest key to his success was
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: And he said, he said exercise, And I don't think
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: he meant like physically exercising. I think he meant the consistency,
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: the discipline, going out on days when it was raining,
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: when he didn't want to do it, you know, the
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: things that it takes during training and this kind of stuff,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: because it translates into all into your blood, into your DNA.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: So I did. I created this series of events. The
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: first one was called twenty nine oh twenty nine, which
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: we rented the entire mountain of Stratton in Vermone, which
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: is crazy and brought in tense, which you would love because.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: You'd be like the four seasons for you.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: You'd sleep in these tents.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: You feel like you're for nice.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: You might not even do the race, come sleep in
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: these tents, and we bring in bands and food trucks.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: But the challenge was, you know, get up to the
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: top of the mountain at Stratton, take the gondola down,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: repeat until you climb the vertical equivalent of Everest twenty
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: nine thousand, twenty nine thousand plus feet. And so now
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: we've created a summit series of all the seven summits
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: with similar kind of themes, the next one being in Utah,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: which is the equivalent of Denale.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Right, so you're going to go up this mountain in Utah.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: You had to do it nine times, right, Yeah, it's
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: like two point three miles for twenty.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Thousand, three hundred and twenty two feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: it's cool. Like I know that my friend Colin O'Brady
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: did the one in Stratton, right, Yeah, he's an insane athlete.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Did he win it?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Or? I mean he's First of all, I met him
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: on the mountain. I didn't know him before, no, and
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: didn't know much about him. And I met him at
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: around eleven o'clock at night. It's pitch dark, it's windy,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: it's cold. I'm on the top, almost at the top
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: of the mountain, and I seel a light ahead, light
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: behind me, maybe like one hundred yards becoming like a
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: mountain goat, approaching, like approaching me, Like he's like a leopard,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: you know. And I turned around him like is that
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: a human? You know? Like who is that? And he
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: came over and started talking and introduced himself and slowed
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: down tremendously and told me his story, which is fascinating,
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: amazing backstory, and then went on his merry way until
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: the light disappeared. I think by the time I got
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: finally to the top of the summit, he had already
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: circled down on the gondolet came back and caught me
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: again and continued to continue the conversation. He yeah, he was,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: He's super impressive.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you're doing this serie. You're going to do
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: You're going to do an event for each one of
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: the seven summits. And this is the guy who has
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: the world record for the fastest to do all of
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: those right in a year.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, So he's the perfect dude. And I was
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: picking his brain like the whole time. I'm like, you know,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: what's the best way for me? You know. It's like
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: part of these things are social. You meet amazing people
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: like he and I became really close after the event,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: and I learned so much from him and others. Because
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: what I love about this we've almost created a new
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: category endurance hiking is despite the fact that it's low impact,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: which for me I want right now. You know, I'm
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: craving stuff that's not gonna pound my lens, and I've
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: done all that and it's totally doable. My wife, you know,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: did twelve of the seventeen summits. But it's really social
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: because when the gondola is going down, it's going over
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: the course. You see, you see everybody the whole time,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: and you get a chance to really meet some interesting
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: people and he was one of them.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: And you also have like this, it's it's not just
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: the event, like you do this immersive weekend and you
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: bring bands and speakers in like for the thing, for
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: the one in Utah. I mean it sounds almost like
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: a wellness retreat.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so the day before we married a wellness retreat
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: with an endurance challenge. And I just feel like, you know,
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: a lot of these events out there, races included, are
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: they're all kind of similar, you know, like here's a
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: ten k, but okay, you go and you do the
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: thing and then you go home. You go home. And
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to put a twist on it. So
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: why not have speakers around people that run a ten k?
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Would want like let's have let's have someone talk about recovery,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Let's have someone talk about nutrition. Let's have a mindset expert,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: you know, come in and talk about how to keep
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: going when you want to stop. So that's the theme.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool. So how many people can you can
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: you take for these events? Like how many can you manage?
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: We keep it kind of tight. We keep it limited
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: to about two hundred because yeah, yeah, small but not
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: small because it just that's kind of this it's kind
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: of the sweet spot. If it becomes too big, it
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: becomes not as special and not as intimate in my opinion,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: and now if we scale it down the road. But
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: right now, that's that's it seems to be working. Well.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that. I like the community aspect of it.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: You know, like you go and it's a bit you
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: do all the training and you show up and then
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: sometimes you know, whether it's an iron Man or a marathon,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: like you're you're with all these people, but there's such
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: an amazing opportunity to connect more deeply with everybody that I.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: Think gets missed. There's no bond like suffering through a
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: race and anything ultras.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Do because you're there for so long and they tend
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: to be smaller that you get to really know those
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: people a little bit better.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think in ultras, at least the one that
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: a couple that I ran. It's so individualized, like people
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: aren't like chatting it up and like you're in your
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: own world. And this is way this is way more
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: social from the one from the event that we did
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: in Vermont. Nine of the of the mine of the
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: participants that didn't know each other have come together and
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: are now all running Leadville this summer, training together, having
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: monthly dinners together, so a lot, and that's my tent.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: My intent is to kind of bring people together to just.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Grow out of you used to maybe you still do
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: this thing where you do this he'll run thing like
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: out in the Hampton's or something like that was the
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: original like kernel of inspiration for these.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm just so bored with traditional races, you know.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: It's like I'm just so bored with obstacle runs and
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: not knocking. I'm just bored of Marathonstillo last year. Yeah,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: so different, it's just different. So I have an event
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: at my house called Hell on the Hill. It's for charity,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: and you run up and down this super steep inclined
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: hill which is my backyard one hundred times. It takes
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: about three hours, and it's brutal. It's so brutal, but
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: that was the genesis of this, and it's kind of like, okay, well,
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: what are the themes?
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Go to a real mountain?
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the hill's not big enough, you're notut growing
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: the hill. Let's go rent the mountain. Uh huh. Yeah
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: cool man.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Well let's let's talk a little bit about the new book.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, it comes out, and it doesn't come out
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: for another month or so, right, a month and a
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: half or something. But I was aware that you went
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: you you went to this monastery, so you got this
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: book coming out, like living with Living with the Monks,
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Living with Monks, Yeah, living with the Monks. Uh huh.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: So walk me through this, like this is the sequel
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: to Living with the Seal.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you know, I did the physical part
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: with Goggins and Living with the Seal, and now I
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: wanted to just get into this spiritual side a little bit,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: which is completely new to me.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: I have a hard time seeing you sit down.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: That was very difficult for me, as was being away
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: from my family. But yeah, I went to a I
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: lived on a monastery for fifteen days with eight months,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: four of which have been there for fifty years. Fifty years,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: and there was no you know, no cell phone, no internet,
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: no wife, none of that stuff.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: It was silent retreat.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: It was there were periods of silence, but it wasn't
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: it wasn't all silent. And they weren't Buddhists. They were
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: Russian Orthodox, right, which I didn't even.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like a weird how did you select
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: this monastery?
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: So I didn't select it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I I.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Always wanted to learn more about this whole kind of
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: like you know, you think of monks, you think of
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: like the spiritual experts in a way, at least I did,
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: you know, my vision in my head. And my publisher
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: of Living with the Seal had a relationship with the
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: monastery just south of Canada, in on five hundred acres
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: in the middle of nowhere, and she suggested that this
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: would be a good place to go, that they would
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: allow me to go and spend some time there. So
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: I was like, cool, like get me, can I go
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: in a week? And I did, And I went up
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: there really not knowing what to expect. And as it
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: turns out, this particular monastery is world famous for breeding
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: and training German shepherds.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: That's so super weird. So walked, well, you show up
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: like you shaved your head right, you posted it on Instagram.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: So you are you thinking you're going to go into
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: this Buddhist you know sanctuary.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, I thought I was going to. I thought I
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: was going to go to And I don't know why
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: I wanted to go with No. I did really no
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: research because I wanted to go completely just open minded.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I don't want to have any anyone else's take on
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: what to expect. I wanted my own. I just wanted
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: to experience verse, you know, have any kind of notions.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: So I thought there would be like sixty people there.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: I thought monastery equal community. I thought that it would
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: everyone would just be walking around silent and all day
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: we would sit in a circle and think. And there
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: was some of that. There's a lot of sitting around
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: and thinking. But there were only eight. There were only
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: eight monks. And most of the day surprisingly was centered
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: around labor, and I was most of my day was working,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: you know, like mopping, cleaning, cleaning the toilets.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Like there was like a weird German shepherd kubbooks.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: It was like it was like I was the uh,
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: you know, like the rookie on the football team.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Were you learning meditation?
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Though?
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Were there other people doing what you were doing there?
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Or were you just showed up and it's you and
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: the monks?
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: It was me and it was me eight monks, eleven
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: German shepherds, and uh, there was a cook that came
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: in a couple days a week and one intern. They
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: had an intern and that was it. And when I
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: got there the first day, they gave me a quick tour.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Or brother Christopher, who was like kind of my go
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: to monk and it's kind of a sign to me,
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: is like my senior guy. And he gave me a
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: quick tour and he took me into my room, which
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: was the size of you know, not that much bigger
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: than with wise of your desk, and there was a
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: light and a small little table and he put me
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: went in my room and he said, you know tomorrow,
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: well at seven fifteen am, we will start with meditation,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: prayer and reflection. When you hear the bells ring, head
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: over to the sanctuary. I said, okay, it's six o'clock
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: PM right now, what do I do for the next
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: thirteen hours? You know, like there's nothing to do? And
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: he looked at me like dead in my eye and
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: he's like, you think and I was like okay.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: So he left the room, no books, nothing, zero zero,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: give him your phone or you leave that at home
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: or it was like it was.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Like the Russians, you know, silenced any kind of phone.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: There was My phone was it didn't matter that I
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: had a phone, there was no it was like great out.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: So I sat in my room and I'm like, all right,
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I'm going to try to meditate. You know, I'd taken
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: a transcendental meditation kind of crash. Course. They gave me
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: a mantra, like told me to set my timer for
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: twenty minutes. So I did. I got out my timer
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: and I said it for twenty minutes, and I closed
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: my eyes and I started to, you know, try to
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: focus on my word. And immediately, you know, I'm getting
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: bombarded with like what are my kids doing? You know,
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: the Hawks aren't doing great.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: You know, like all these thoughts are going.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Through my head, and I'm like, whoa, the thing hasn't beaped.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: I've been doing this for a while, so I thought, maybe, well,
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: let me make sure I set my timer. I'm like, no,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: I must be just underestimating the time, you know. So
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I went back into my mantra and start thinking, and again,
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: very hard for me to block stuff out. But after
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: a lot of time passed, I'm like nothing, i'n't beaped.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, I have to set my timer and
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: I'll just start over. So I took out my timer,
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: I opened my eyes and said three minutes and twenty
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: seven seconds. So I immediately calculated how many minutes I
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: have left fifteen days times twenty four hours times sixty
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: you know, or fifty seven minutes. And I was like,
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: oh shit, like I'm not this is this is I mean,
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not in Kansas, like this is real. I'm stuck
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: in this room with no contact in my family. I
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: don't know what my kids are doing. I don't know
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: if my wife is mad at me for being here.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: God forbid something happens. I mean, all these fears and thoughts,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: and the clock slowed down, it literally like stopped, and
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: then it was eight o'clock and I'm like, it's only
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: eight o'clock, day one, and it just really flipped me
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: out and took me to I wouldn't say a dark place,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: but like somewhere I've never been before because I'm I
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: walk around everywhere. We both have our phones, right here. Yeah,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: I'm never without my phone or you know, I can
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: watch something unfold in China real time on my phone
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: if I want to. And now I'm looking at trees.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I'm in isolation, and I have fifteen days ahead of me.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: So it was interesting.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: How long did it take you to kind of acclimate
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: to that rhythm?
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: You know? You never know took It took until about
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: ten days literally where I finally you know what happened.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: I started having all this self doubt in my head,
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: and I started giving myself out, like saying, Okay, after
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: seven days, I can leave because no one's going to
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: care if I went for seven days or fifteen days.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I'll say I went for a week, Like that sounds good,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: good enough. So on day four, I'm like, I'm out
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: of here in three days, and I planted these seeds
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: of giving myself an out. And then I got to
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: day seven and I'm like, let me stay one more
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: day so I can go. I got I was over
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: a week, you know, and then at day ten, I'm like, no, Jesse,
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: you committed to fifteen days. You're here for fifteen days.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Start experiencing and enjoying this and embracing it for what
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: it is instead of like fighting it. And once I
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: did that and I was I really settled in, that's
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: when all the lessons started to kind of open up
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: for me. And that's when I started to really kind
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: of you know, because we always give ourselves some kind
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: of out, Oh, maybe it's gonna rain tomorrow, don't if
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: they're wrong.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, it's kind of like an ultra like it's
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: so overwhelming in its breadth and length that the only
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: way to wrap your head around it is to break
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: it up into the like, Okay, it's six, I have
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: to get to eight o'clock. Or I'll just make it
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: a week and I'll deal with whatever I have to
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: deal with after that, you know, right, the only way
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: for your brain to like process what's happening.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: And similar to an ultra like, you know, you can
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: read before I ran my one hundred mile or I
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: did so much research around you know at the time,
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: not that many people had ran one hundred miles, maybe
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: like four hundred Americans, I think, is all that I
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: could identify back then, and I read every blog and
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: everything I could about goal setting and all this stuff.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: But a mile ninety three when I had six toenails
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: in my shoe, floating around. All the stuff that I
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: had read and all the preparation, it goes out the
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: window and it's just you. And that's how I felt
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: in that moment, like nothing I read about. Oh, you know,
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: people telling me it's only going to be two weeks. Yeah,
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: tell me that. At one o'clock on day two, when
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: I'm sitting in the room and there's no one around,
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: you know, like only two weeks, that goes away fat
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: And then you look at your watch and like only
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: seventeen minutes have gone, like time stops. Yeah, and then
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: you start thinking what am I missing with my children? Why?
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: What's the point of this? Like this is what am
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I doing? And you start to flip out so and
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: then but then you learn about yourself, you know, like,
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: well what am I missing?
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: What what am I doing in the day? You know that, Well,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it makes it very clear the extent to
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: which you're first of all, like addicted to the device,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: because we're never put in a position where we have
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: to be away from it, you know. And then it
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: becomes so real like oh my god, like I can't
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: I can't distract myself, I can't you know, solve my
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: you know, boredom by just watching a video or scrolling
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: through whatever social media platform I know, and you know
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: it's interesting.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: Even if you're out of a movie for two hours,
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: you're separated from your phone maybe or maybe you're checking
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: it during slow points in the movie. But the second
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: the movie's over, you grab your phone and you respond.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: You feel like and what happens is and you know
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: everybody knows this, but someone emails you, you feel like
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: you have to respond immediately. Well, that means they control
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: your time. And that's every day times fifty, right, like
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: every time you get a text and if you don't,
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: I just emailed you, why don't you email me back?
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: And getting away from it all. Like one thing I
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: was very aware of is like, I really care that
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: someone is posting a picture of themselves drinking a corona
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: in Mexico right now on my Facebook page, and like
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not responding to it. No, I don't miss that
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: at all. And I became very clear. It became very
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: clear of what is important, but also things that aren't
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: important that I spend a lot of time on during
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: the day, such as such as TV sporting events I
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: went during the final during the March madness, so I
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: probably would have watched two hundred hours of basketball, you know,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: or something like that, and I didn't miss it at all.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I didn't think about it. I wasn't really even curious
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: about it because I was so separated from it, and
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: I was I became super present in all the tasks
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: that I did, and I realized that during the day,
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: I'm rushing to complete a task to get to the
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: next task, so I can do as many tasks as
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: I can do in a day, because that equals crossed
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: it off my to do list, and that equals accomplishment.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Where the monks, everything was monotasking. It's like if they
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: if the chore today was to clean the church or
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: which I did a lot. There was no times like
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: when you're done and it's perfect, leave the church and
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: go to the next task, you know.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: So it was like the fully present with everything that
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: you have for that task.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So when the monks come to go to the monastery,
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: they pledge all their possessions to the monastery, so they
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: have zero possessions. And you know, obviously they live a
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: very simple life, but a very full, like you know,
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: very full life and a very strong sense of community.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: I realized how important, like, you know, community is one
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: thing that I want to work on at home. You know,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: is just one hundred years ago it was all about community.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: And now that our worlds are very way smaller, I've
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: found at least in my life. So yeah, it was
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: just really interesting to see how happy people could be
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: with so little and how much energy, mental energy and
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: clarity was freed up by not having to worry about
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: so many things that are irrelevant.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Right, is that the biggest takeaway?
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: You know? What was interesting for me? There were so
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: many small little takeaway you know, there were something small
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: little takeaways for me, but for me, and it goes
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: back that we were talking about earlier about experiences. They
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: give you a layer, they give you an edge. As
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: you do different experiences and try different things, you get
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: a different layer added to ritual. He goes up like
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: another ring on the tree, another ring on the tree,
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: and it's something you can always tap into. And the
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: takeaway wasn't like, oh, here's the specific take away. Everyone
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: knows to be present. Everybody knows if you slow down
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: and meditate, there's benefits. Everybody knows that they shouldn't be
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: on their phone as much as.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Were not all do it.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: We all know all that stuff, and yeah, that was
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: all reinforced, and simplicity was reinforced. And you know, I
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: love my wife and my kids obviously was reinforced. But
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: when I left the monastery and the driver picked me
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: up and he said, how was it, how do you feel?
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: My answer was proud. It was another layer for me
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: of something that I said I was going to do
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: that was super hard, and I was proud of myself
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: for not giving up at day seven and sticking to it. Now,
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: there are times when my kids have you know, you know,
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: they're going crazy, they're out of control or something, they're
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: having a meltdown. And I've definitely found myself to be
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: more patient and more present, and that was a good lesson.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: But it's a layer in me that I can tap
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: into when I needed.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Right, So when you come back, how do you reacclimate
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: and do you end up kind of so you have
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: that extra layer. But I would imagine it's like, Okay,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: well the phone's back in the picture, Like have you
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: reframed your relationship to the phone, for example, or do
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: you slowly just sort of revert back to like what
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: you were doing before, with a little bit more awareness,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: but perhaps but kind of essentially being the same dude.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: Well, I realized that I wanted a lot of things
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: that they had, but I didn't want to give up
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: a lot of things that I had, and I did.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: I did gradually. It was it was hard to re enter,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: you know. I went from a very quiet no music,
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: no kids, no TV. Everyone's talking like this slowly to
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: a very like rambunctious, you know, like crazy household with
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: four kids under eight that have You know, it was hard.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: It took me a while to and I lost a
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: ton of weight, so it took me like a while
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: to just get back into the flow. And now I
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: would say that I still am checking my phone before
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: I get up. But there's other areas. For example, when
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: I went around day nine or ten at the monastery,
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: all the decisions are taken away from you. So they
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: say that the average American makes between thirty to sixty
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: thousand decisions a day. It's exhausting. We only have a
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: limited amount of energy. At the monastery. All the decisions
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: are taken away from you. You eat when they tell
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: you to eat, You eat what they give you. You
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: wear one outfit. I showered one time I was there.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: No one cared, There's no there are no there's no
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: like well there's not like you have Netflix, Hulu and
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: eight thousand channels and like short Circuit, there's so much
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: you don't even know what to watch. You're like, fuck it,
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go to bed. There are no decisions.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: When that kicks in, the amount of energy that you
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: get is oh, you don't even I didn't know what
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: to do with myself. I walked one hundred and twenty
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: miles up and down their driveway while I was there.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: I had so much energy and clarity like my to do.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: I just organized my entire life and I when I
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: came home the first morning, my wife woke up and
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: we were in the kitchen and she said to me,
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going to take the kids to school. I'm like, great, sweetie,
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: you know, and she's like, I'm gona take the blue car.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: We have two cars. I'm like, great, take the blue car.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: And then she came running and she's like, nope. I
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: decided I'm gonna take I think I should take the
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: silver car because I want to maybe go to Whole
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: Foods and with the trunk space. I'm like, great, take
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: the silver car. And then she came in a minute
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: and she's like, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm taking
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: the blue car because I'm going to I'm like, Sarah,
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: do you know how much energy you just used on
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: a meaningless decision? Like you just spend fifteen minutes debating
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: in your head what car to take? And then I
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: realized that, like, we do that all day long, and
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: it's exhausting. It's exhausting.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: So how do you take that awareness back into your
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: life and streamline things so that you're you're eliminating a
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: lot of that decision fatigue.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: So the first thing I did was I got a
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: journal and I just anytime I have a thought or
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: something I have to do, I get it at of
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: my head and I put it on paper. Now that
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean it goes away. I still have to do it,
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: but it's not I don't have to use the energy
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: to remember it. All. I have to get Little Ralph
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: an eight year old birthday party for Sunday's birthday. I'll
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: just write it down and now I know I never
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: have to think about it again. I'll look at my
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: journal at night and in the morning, But I started
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: just dumping everything out of my head, every idea. I
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: keep it with me everywhere I go and it's just
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: a running list, so it doesn't stay. We keep so
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: much in our head, and for me it's worked. It's
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: like a two journal system. I have one book where
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: I have all my thoughts and to dos and this
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: and that, and then on a daily basis, I take
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: out the key things I have to do that day
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: and take them off the list. Right. And you know
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: what I realized, richse if I lost the master book
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: with ten thousand things, nothing in my life that you wouldn't.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Change it, like life would go on. I've even thought like,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I wonder what would happen if I just hit the
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: least selected all my emails and just deleted all of them,
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: because I just there's no way I'll ever get to
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: inbox zero. It's a losing battle, and it creates so
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: much stress and anxiety in me, like, oh, there's I
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: should be getting back to all these people and I
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: can't imagine. I mean, this is an epidemic amongst most people. Right,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: We're constantly in this state of anxiety because we're not
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: able to manage like just our basic communication.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: When I went off email for fifteen days. When I
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: came back, the first thing that I said is I'm
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: never going back on email and I have.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, I have Wow.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: But it is a goal of mine. Huh, it is
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: a goal of mine. I don't know how realistic it
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: is in today's in today's world, but how amazing would
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: that be? If you need me, you have myself. Those
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: that need me have my cell phone, that really need me.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: The owner of the Baltimore Ravens told me that he
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: is off email completely. Yeah.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Well there's always those baller guys. They do it. You know,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: it's like it's a different situation.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Well, a lot of people are going analog now. They're
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: just kind of printing, you know, the emails out and
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: keep you know, tracking it a different way. But I
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: don't know, but it would be amazingly freeing to do it.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not there yet, but I know it's like it's
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: a weird like fantasy. I mean, look, we're the last
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: generation that knows what it's like to live without the Internet, right, Like,
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: we're in a very unique situation because we grew up
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: without it and now it's omnipresent and there will never
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: ever be another generation of people who had that experience
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: that we had, right so so having like one foot
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: on one side of it and one foot on the
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: other side of it, Like we know what it was
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: like without it, and it is life better with it,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: you know, with all these decisions and all these complications
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: that we have. Probably, but I don't know, there's something
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: about like that that I kind of wish we could
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: go back to.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: If you had asked my parents, they or your parents,
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: they would probably say life was better ten or twenty
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: years ago. I don't know. Think about how our parents
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: got around when my when my mom dropped me off
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: at school or plate Plate eight or at the park
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: or whatever, and then she went to the grocery store.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: My father had no way of getting in touch with her. Yeah,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: like if there was an emergency or like, oh honey,
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: we forgot can you get an extra loaf of bread?
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: She'd have to come home and put on the list
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: for next week. There was no way like instant. I
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: mean I've I've been on a route to get groceries
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: or whatever and gotten an alert, you know something from
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: my wife being like, no, go pick up our son
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: at the soccer game immediately and then go to I
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: forgot and you change your whole life.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Well on those minutes, those moments when you are out
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: of touch because someone's phone died, like it instills like
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: almost like a panic exactly.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: Exactly, So I think there's there's got to be a balance.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: But it's so we're getting bombarded and it's overwhelming. Man,
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: it's not good for us.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: So when you were writing this book, did you do
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: it in the same vernacular and style as the Seal Book,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: like sort of blog entry, like experiential? I mean that
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: would be something. Were you doing that when you were
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: at the monastery going going, you know, back to the
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: room every night and contemporaneously like writing your right going on.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: So I struggled with the book. I struggled with it
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: during the process, and you've gone through it as you've
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: written a books multiple Because first of all, I felt
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: a tremendous amount of pressure after the Seal Book, because
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: with the Seal I had no expectation. I didn't even
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: really promote the Seal Book initially because I was scared,
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: like what if people don't like it? I wanted to
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: get it, and I didn't know how the game was played,
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: you know, how the book game is played, big sales
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: week one and all that stuff to get on the
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: New York Times Bestseller.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: And there's a lot of shenanigans.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: It's all the shenanigans. And I was like, man, I'm
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: not playing the shenanigans. I don't And I was getting
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: pressure from the publisher and how to do all that stuff.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do it. So I put it out.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: Let's see if people like it, kind of like how
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: you started your podcast. And then you know, if they
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: like it, we can get momentum and wins will build
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: on it. And then because the book was successful and
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: ultimately went on to be a bestseller, Okay, how do well?
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: Now what if the second movies is because the first movie,
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: this is a completely different book. So I felt that
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: the whole way, every page, is it funny? Are people
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: going to? Is there? Is there a takeaway? You know?
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: I started like really analyzing it. So it took me
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: a while until I got into a rhythm. And it's
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: set up similar. There's you know, the time that it
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: took to get me to the monastery and kind of
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: what got me there and this revelation I had on
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: the top of Mount Washington about time and my relationship
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: with time, which kind of led me to the monastery
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: in a way. And then there and then there's a
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: fifteen day diary and then there's ten specific takeaways in
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: the book. Yeah, such similar.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it. But I can imagine, Yeah,
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: that pressure because that book was so I mean, that
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: book was super successful Living with the Seal, So now
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: you got to like, you got to top it, right
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: or do I yeah.
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean I yeah, but I mean you
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: want to, but you know, you just projects like this.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: You know, you have to have thick skin. You have
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: to have thick skin, and you're so vulnerable because people
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: put reviews out on Amazon. You can give someone a
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: sixth grade. There's like Rich was an asshole? Yeah I know.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: Well, and also it's it's such a I mean, it's
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: your experience. So the review, if there's a negative review,
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: they're kind of reviewing you as a person. You know,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: it's not like you wrote a novel.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: But it's like anything in life you're here for. No
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: one's gonna be around in one hundred years, you know,
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: is that going to be enough to stop you? The
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: fear that you might get a bad review is the
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: fear that your product might get critiqued or someone that
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: like might not like Zico Coconut Water have a bad flight.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: So we're not going to start Marque Jet. You know,
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: you have to go with like the more, the bigger
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: the risk you take, the bigger the reward.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: Right, I know what your third book should be.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: You want to live together? No? No, with me?
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: No, it's so obvious, dude, living with Sarah, you know
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, she's such a unique person, right,
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: and you always describe her as like, you know, one
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: one part Lucille Ball, one part Einstein, but like you
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: know that in and of itself, I mean, how your
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: marriage works, and you know how you guys parent your kids.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I think would be super interesting.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love that. She's so interesting to live with.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: Because one thing that Sarah does really really well that
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I do terribly is she's really good at accepting and criticism.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: And when I get criticized, you know, I'm immediately defensive,
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: probably like most of our listeners are, fuck you what
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: are you talking about? Telling me you don't know what
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: you're talking about. You get defense. She takes it in
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: and processes it and you know, and is comfortable with that.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: And there's so many buckets of her life where she
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: does things completely differently than most people that are like
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: amazing life lessons.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: I get to live with that, Like give me an example, Well.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: That's a good example. The way she parents, she really
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: praises the effort. She makes a big I mean I
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: see it every day, emphasizing the effort and not the result.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: So you know, instead of saying, oh, you dominated the
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: basketball game, which none of my kids do, she says, like,
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: you practice so hard and it really showed today all
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: that hard work. Keep it up. Criticism is another one,
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: how she just how important product is to her, Like
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: I'm a rusher. I'm like, let's put it out there
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: and we can always fix it. And she is a
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: no I mean she spent she spent two year years
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: working and perfecting her product, Spanks, the first product that
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: came out before she released it. She is working on
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: a product now at Spanks. It's like kind of her
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: secret product. And they were in Italy and they've had
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: all these teams of people working on it and they
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: all came they Sarah the product. Everyone, We've tested it,
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: we've worn the product, we're so excited about it, and started,
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: can I put it on? And everyone's in the room
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: and the guys flew in from Italy that have been
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: working on it, and she put on the product and
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: she's like, you know, send it back. It's ninety seven percent,
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: but it's not there, and she just you know, I
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: think most people would probably be okay with that. But
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: I don't think you know, Elon Musk would.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I don't think you know Steve Jobs level of yeah, perfectionism.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in a positive way. It's like, you know, in
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: looking at it through the lens of the customer and
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: looking at it through the lens of the competitor, like, yeah,
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: maybe everybody else is comfortable at ninety five percent, but
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: the gold is in the last five person.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: This company is where it's at because of that, without question, right.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: I think I was at the Museum of Modern Art
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: and I saw I took a picture and texted you.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: I was like, that's so bizarre, you know, but that
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: speaks to what you're saying, right, Like, it doesn't that
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: happens because you have somebody at the helm who's providing
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: that attention to detail. Yeah, But at the same time,
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: just based on like you know, following you on Instagram.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: Like she also seems like she's bananas.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: You know, she's bananas, which is fun. I mean, you
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: know she heard that, and that's another lesson, just like
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: her outlook on life. You know, she's had all this
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: business success and she's done so much for so many
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: people through her philanthropy and her efforts. Yet she has
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: this completely lucile ball side to her right.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: Like you guys travel and you get there and she
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: opens up those suitcase and there's nothing in it.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: Stuff like that, Yeah, she brought the wrong suitcase or
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: like you know, yeah, like the other I mean the
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: other day, I'm in California and obviously and I called
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: it to say good night, and I was saying, you know,
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: I'm exhausted, you know, I just got I flew in
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: this today and it was it was eight at night,
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: and she's like, you're exhausted.
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: It's only eight o'clock at night there, and I'm like,
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: it's eleven o'clock, like, you know, I just got here.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: Like you know, do you think if I went to
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: China and it's one in the afternoon, I won't be tired?
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: So she has this other side to her that but
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: it's playful and it's it's fun and it keeps us young.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: So on some low I mean, I don't know if
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: you guys are opposites, but you do come at things
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: in a different way, like and that's something I can
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: relate to. My wife and I are very different, Like
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: how do you make that work in your marriage?
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: Just being accepting I think, I think, I think a
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: big part of marriage. And I'm not a marriage expert
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: for all. It's a work in progress for us and
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: sure for everybody. But if our movies and our heads
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: aren't aligned, if her expectation is very different than my expectation,
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: it's going to lead it's going to lead to disappointment.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: So one of the things the monks did, which is
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: interesting is every Friday night they have something called sharing
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: and all eight of them sit around and they talk
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: about during the week anything that anyone has done that
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: pissed them off, and they talk about the expectations going forward.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: So they're all on the same page and they all
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: get everything out and out on the table, right, And
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: it's something that we just started doing, you know, Like
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: we've been married for ten years and we've never ever
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: ever sat down and been like, Okay, let's talk about
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: what our family goals are, what our individual goals are,
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: like what's bothering you about me? What's bothering me about you?
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: And now we have this like once a month minimum
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: sharing session where we go and it's so helpful.
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: Man, And I realized, like, do you get defensive?
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: Though? I do?
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: I do, but now but she can hear it.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: She could hear it, but it's part of it, and
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: she absorbs it. It's like, you know, I'm like yelling
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: at her, and she's like, that's a good point, sweetie.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: Let me process that and I'll take you know that.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing it, you know, but it's super helpful.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: And I think so that is even though we're very different.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: You know, I fruit and bananas only in the morning
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: and she loves cheese it and you know, we're opposite,
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: and we're opposite in some of our parenting styles too.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: I think that's the kind of a way to kind
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: of bridge the gap because if we didn't, and she thought, I,
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: you know, I was going to act one way and
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you talking. You never told me that,
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: you never told me that you wanted me to be
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: asleep at nine o'clock, you know, and you and she
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: bottles inside. You know it's going to ultimately lead down
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: a bad road. Yeah.
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: I think that's super important because not only would you
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: be walking around with totally different mental pictures of you know,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: what you think your life is is, you know, should
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: be about, and where you're headed. You project that onto
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: the other person, and it's all based on assumption because
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: there's no communication. And I think that's where a lot
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: of people just get into tons of trouble.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I did too, and I recognize that. I mean,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: and I didn't recognize it for a while. I have
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: my own movie in my head. It was different than
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: her movie. Right on parent even just the way we parent.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: You know, what are the differences in how your parent.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: Good cop, Bad Cop? I think a little bit. I
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: think we're aligned in the fact that we want our
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: kids to see us do as many things that are
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: hard and challenging that might result in failure as possible.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: So when Sarah was a kid, at the dinner table
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: every Friday, her father would ask her brother and herself
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: what they failed at and if she said, oh, I
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: tried out for cheerleading and I fail, I didn't make
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: the team. Her dad would high five her, and he
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: really just redefined failure as being effort and not trying
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: versus you know, putting the effort in. So we try
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: to do the same thing. For example, I just I
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: took my son to a polar plunge that the fire
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: department and police department were having at Lake Lanier in
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: Georgia where we live. And on the way there, he
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: was five at the time, and the water's freezing. I'm
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: getting him so pumped up. We're listening to Rocky in
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: the car and I'm grabbing him shit like, yelling at him.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: He's yelling at me like you're.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Gonna do this.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: We're gonna be amazing, man. And we get there and
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: they blow the whistle and everybody runs into the water
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: except my son, who's standing on the beach.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: A love dude.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not doing that. It's like shivering is
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: the smart one, right, And now he's crying and everyone's
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: looking at me, and I'm like, oh my god, this disaster.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: So I went out of the water and I was like, no,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: this is amazing. You got to see. I loved it,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: and you got to cheer me on and thank you
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: for supporting me and da da da da. But he's
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: a shy kid and it affected him because he had
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: to live with that disappointment. He felt like he disappointed
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: me and that failure for a year. We go back
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: next year, same thing, listening to Rocky firing them up.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: They blow the whistle. He's the first one in, they
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: blow the whistle. To come out. He won't come out.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it's over, buddy, we did it. Get on
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: out and he got And the lesson was if you
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: stick with it and try again, and now you conquer
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: it even after you failed. That's a huge, powerful lesson, right,
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: removing the stigma, the stigma, sticking with it, you know,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: or just using.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: A different word altogether than failure. I mean, failure is
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: a terrible word.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So those kind of things I think, you know,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: we were aligned in and then you know Sarah's I
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: think I'm probably the bad cop and she's she's probably
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: the good coat.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: You strike me more as like kind of like the coach, right,
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: Like you're like raising your kids like you're the You're
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: the coach and they're the team. Yeah, but you're but
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, adventure is like a huge I mean, this
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: is like confuses everything that you do, right, So how
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: does that like spill down into how you raise your kids?
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: I mean I just took my son who's eight, to
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: Mount Washington in New Hampshire and we slept outside in
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: the snow in a minus forty degree sleeping bag overnight
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: and it was phenomenal. And we trained for a month.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: I got him a pack, we went through it, we
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: talked about the safety. He went to the we broke
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: the ice and got water out of the stream and
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: boiled it and he got to experience that. And you know,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: I said to him when were up there, you know,
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: look around. His name is Laser, said, look around. There's
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: no one out here, and there's no kids out here.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: This is like a special moment, and you know you
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: worked hard to get here, and I want you to like,
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: we have to appreciate this, and like you know, he's like, Dad,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: this is amazing. And a we had the alone time together,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: which we have a ton of alone time, but I
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: wanted him to experience the elements. I wanted him to
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: experience something that was hard. I want him to feel
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: victory and he's not super athletic. So this is a
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: way that he can have his own victories and go
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: and talk about it at school. And I wanted, I wanted.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: I want him to do whatever he wants to do,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: but I want to expose him to as many different
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: things as he can.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how old is he He's eight?
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: Wow, it was amazing. Listen, rich I got lectured before
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: I went. You know, how how bad an idea that
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: went south? You'd be at one in the morning. He
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: said to me, it was pitch dark. I can't even
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: see one inch in front of me. And it's I'm talking.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: I'm saying it's pitch dark. And he says, Dad, and
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: I have a flashlight, but you can't even see the flashlight,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: you know. He says, Dad, I'm cold, which is the
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: last thing you want to hear at on the you know,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: it's minus five degrees. And I reach over to see
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: where he is and and feel his head and you know,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: just kind of get his temperature and just see what's what.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: And as I reach over, his sleeping bag is completely
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: covered in snow because it was snowing, right And I
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: said to him, get in your bag and don't come out.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: And because there's no way to get down. We're two
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: and a half miles up and there's no light, no trail.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: This is impossible, and there's no humans around. So he
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: woke up at like nine the next morning and everything
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: was cool and he slept great. But it was a
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: moment of near I didn't sleep one minute, you know.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, this could have been a bad idea.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: This is so bad. I'm like, I'm gonna have to
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: put him in my bag and I'll just bundle up.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: And but it ended up being fine and he loved
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: it and we're going back.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: Wow did you go did you do like a Mount
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: Washington expedition that year when you were doing like twenty
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: seventeen of everything? I just remember, like on Instagram, like
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: you guys were it was dark and you were you
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: were with your buddies or something like that, like in
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: the middle of the winter. Yeah, to go climb up
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: Mount Washington.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: It was a bad idea.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't work out right, No, it didn't.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: Uh, we none of us were experienced. We didn't we
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: didn't have a guide.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: You were fired up though, I was so fired up.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: And we got about a quarter of a mile to
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: the summit. But it was so hairy out. I mean
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: it was like fifty mile an hour winds and it
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: was minus thirty and it was getting dark. It was about, well,
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: we won't have enough time to get down for it.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: We aborted about a quarter of a mile from the summit.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: When we got home, I told my wife, like, I
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: was so disappointed because I invited all my friends and
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 2: kind of guarantee we would get up there and we didn't.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, we failed. And she was like, sweetie,
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: you know, go back next winter, get a tour guide
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: that can help you navigate the mountain and train for
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: it and break your boots in. And I'm like, next winter,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: I'm going back on Saturday, because and I did. And
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: we went back five days later, and then all the
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: same guys and we summoned it and we summited it.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: And the reason was like, there was no I said
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: to her, like, there is no guarantees exactly what we're
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: talking about at the beginning of the podcast. There's no
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: guarantee what next winter looks like. What if I break
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: my leg next winter? What if next winter the world
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: changes and we can't up think next winter, I'm going
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: Saturday Urgency and I'm.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: Glad I did and check it off and you guys
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: made it. We made it.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: It was But now, have you ever done any cold
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: like winter camping. No, it's a whole different animal, and
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: it's it is, it is so it's thrilling. It's like
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: it's it's amazing, it's amazing. I had I had either
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: do you do?
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: You have a desire to do? You know these crazy
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: alpine expeditions like Everest and the like.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: Not Everest, Colin O'Brady asked me to do Denali this
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: year but the dates didn't this this summer, but the
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: dates didn't work. But yeah, not not Everest, just because
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: of the time, commitment and the risk. I'm not I'm
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: not a thrill seeker like that, but I do. I
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: did love Washington. I want to do you know, every year,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: as I plan out my year and my five years,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: that's something on my on my list every year.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: What else is on the five year list?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: Well, I have I don't have a five year list
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: as far as other than that, And I have a
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: fucket list instead of a bucket list. And on my
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: fucket list are probably ten things, you know, just things
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: I've always want, I want to ride my bike cross country.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: I found the loophole in the NCAA regulations. Actually, uh,
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 2: and I have eligibility to roll crew, so I want
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: to go try to make like you, try to make
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: like the Virginia crew team.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: Or hold on a second. You can go back to
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: college and your your eligibility will still stand.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: Uh, there's a loophole as it relates to crewe specially yes,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: uh huh, maybe some other sports too.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: So this is the this is the other book.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm going to do a book,
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: but I am going to do it.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: So you're going to enroll in college.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: Uh, well, here's the deal. So most of the most
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: of the high end, all of the high end Division
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: one sports teams are sanctioned by the NCAA, and all
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: the elite teams are Division one teams, et cetera, et cetera.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: As it relates to crew. Of the top twenty teams,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: some of them are club teams which are not sanctioned
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: by the NCAA, which means if you take three or
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: four credits at the school and you can make the
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: team regardless of how old you are or whatever, because
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: it's not sanctioned by the league. It's a club team.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: If you're part of the school, you can do it.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: So I can go make the Virginia crew team, which
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: is like I think, a top twenty team and row
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: in the NCAA tournament or whatever by taking three credits.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: So it's like, if I want to go row in
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: University of Georgia, as long as I'm good enough to
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: make the team, I could do it tomorrow at fifty. Yeah,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: you got to do that absolutely, if before at all.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: So what happened was I realized that a friend of
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: mine's son who rose to GW when he was a
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: junior in high school. The way this whole thing came
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: to be, I was following him, and the way they
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: give out crew scholarships is they get the elite rowers
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: in high school to a school and like b you
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: or something, they put them on an ERG a rowing machine,
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: and and they time him in the two thousand meter
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: that because it eliminates you know, currents and wind and
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: body weight and all that stuff. If you can row
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: a six twenty to a six twenty five two thousand,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: they basically hand your scholarship. So I looked at the elite,
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: the guys that were getting like six fifteen six twenty,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: like the elite elite guys were like six four one
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: eighty five. I'm like, that's like my frame, Like I'm
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: six three one. You know, I could be one eighty
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: five if I want to. So I'm like, I got
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: to see if I can row how fast I can
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: row two thousand. So I had read that like Cam
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: Newton broke seven minutes and like threw up in a bucket,
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Like rowing a six fifteen two thousand is brilliant. It's
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: like that's a proper, proper athlete. And I was nowhere close.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: So it became a goal, like all right, you know
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: I got to knock a minute. I got knock a
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: minute off and get my SATs up a little bit.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: So, so are you training for that? Right now?
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: It's on my radar. I bought two herds of.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: What It's like very George Plimpton.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: You know, well, you know, it's like why not? I
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: mean I think it would be How fun would that be?
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: I mean I think we super fun.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: Going back to college too. So what are we doing
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: after practice?
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: I said to Sarah when I discovered this thing, I'm like,
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: you know, what would you be willing to move to
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: Cambridge to Harvard. It's so funny, like, let me get
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: a see if you can get a broker in Boston
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: that can get us a nice little apartment on it
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: so you can row crew.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: Your kids are like, what you're doing?
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: What? Dad? But what I am doing rich is as
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: I turned fifty, I mentioned this to you. You know,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: I have certain things that I want to kind of
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: semi master that I always wanted to kind of be
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: good at but I'm not good at. And I'm going
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: to bring in instructors around those fifty things from my
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: own birthday present to myself.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: You were talking about this before the podcast, so like
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: everything from like ping pong to what.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: Ping pong, to free diving to wake surfing, to chess
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: to ballroom dancing. You know, just fifty different things I'm
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: going to try to. I have an instructor to live
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: with me for a week for each of those of
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: those disciplines and see if I can kind of semi
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: master them to the best of my ability. You will
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: not want to play me in ping pong a year
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: from now, right, or chess.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: I mean a week. You're not gonna be able to
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: master anything in a week, But exposure.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: I'll get better, Yeah, and I'll learn a little bit
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 2: about about each of those kind of you know, disciplines,
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: and time.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: Will slow down. It is true, Like it is that
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: weird thing as you get older, like it does go
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: so fast. But when you're when you when you're trying
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: to learn something new, that's where the clock, your relationship
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: with the clock changes, it does.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: And isn't that all what we all want to do?
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: Slow down the clock?
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: We do, you know?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: And it's weird how we have this idea of what
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: fifteen you should look like like, you know, I mean, dude,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: when my dad was fifty, I thought like, well, this
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: dude's ancient, you know. And I don't know whether it's
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: like a generational thing, like the vitality that you know,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: fifty year olds have now versus then, or whether it's
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: like a socialization thing. But I feel like, I mean,
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't feel twenty four, but like I
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: don't feel like what I thought fifty was supposed to feel, like.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what, one hundred years ago, I know
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: what the life expectancy of an American was like thirty
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: or forty five. So because we were lucky enough to
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: be born. You know, forty what fifty I was sixty,
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: So forty years later, we basically have almost double the life,
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: basically lived twice as much life just because of how
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: lucky we were. And at the current rate, if it
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: continues to if life expectancy continues to expand like that,
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: think about this. If it was forty five one hundred
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: years ago and now it's seventy five, that means that
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: in theory, at that pace, humans could live to be
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: five hundred. No, you shake your head, but think about it.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't shake my head. I was just letting it
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: sink in. Yeah, now five hundred.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: Well look at the trajectory. Look at the trajectory now,
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: maybe yourself. But why not.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: Well, if they get stem cell stuff figured out, and
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: they get telomerrors figured out, and they get you know,
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, well maybe if things are getting crazy, you know,
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: in terms of what's happening with technology, so I feel
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: like nothing's off the table. At a minimum, we're going
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: to turn into some kind of weird you know, cyber hybrid, Yeah,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: you know kind of thing.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: Well, the flip side of that is I heard that
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: Stephen Hawkins before he'd probably the greatest Stephen Hawking. Hawking, Yeah,
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Probably one of the greatest minds of our generation, right,
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: I mean science minds predicted that in less humans inhibit, inhabit, inhibit.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: Now, I don't know where you're.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: Going, Okay, finish, Okay, I'll finish a different planet, get
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: existence on a different planet, that the human race on
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: Earth would be wiped out in five hundred years because
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: of either famish, over population, disease, war. He made it
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: before he died. I believe he revised that prediction to
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: one hundred years. If he's right and we only had
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: one hundred years of I'm not talking about us on Earth,
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: but our humanity. How would that change the way you
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: live your life? It would change it dramatically, and it
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: would change the way you raise your kids, you know,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: And there's no guarantees. I mean, the way the way
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: that the world is shaping up, and you know, I
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: could see why that would be a possible prediction to make,
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: And when you think of it through that lens, it
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: changes the course of the way you want to live
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: your life, and you know. So it's just interesting to
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: hear different theories and different different opinions around time, around longevity,
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: and when you start looking at through a different lens,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: as we did with our parents earlier, you have a
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 2: different appreciation, a different urgency, a different set of what's
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 2: important and what's not important, And then you make shifts,
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: fundamental shifts in the way you want to live your
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: life and who you want to spend your time with.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the idea that in a hundred years humankind could
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: be gone is a trip. But when you look at
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: the extent to which you know we're overpopulating the planet
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: and our you know, lack of regard for how to
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: do it in a sustainable way, I think it's a
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: very real prospect. And to reframe it that way, that's
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: super interesting. I've never heard anybody put it that way, Like,
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: what if on one hundred years there's no more human beings?
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: How does that change how you look at what you're
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: going to do today.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: If you knew that was factual, you'd probably travel more.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: You want to see more of the beauty of the world.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: You'd probably you know, it won't be on your phone
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 2: as much, you won't be sitting there liking and texting
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: and retweeting and doing all that stuff. You know, and
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 2: we have a vision of what we think it's going
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 2: to be. But what if it's not, And what if
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: it was going to happen? What if that did happen.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: It's fascinating to think about, man, and like, you know,
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: that's the shit that happens.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: When when I've turned.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: Fifty, I'm like, you know, my head it's the pillow,
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 2: and it's just like, oh my god, man. You know,
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 2: if I do have thirty years left me personally, it's
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 2: like it just it changes a lot of things for me.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 2: And it's a lot different than my thought pattern when
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: I was twenty.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: What was your thought pattern at twenty?
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: No consequences for my actions? You know, wanted to try
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 2: to make money. When I was twenty, I was laughing
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: at jokes that weren't funny, you know, going to meetings
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 2: and wanting to get a sale or sell a Marque
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 2: Jet card, and I'd be like, you know, very often
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: i'd be in a meeting and I'd be like, this
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: guy is not my kind of guy. You know, this
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: is not my kind of guy. And then he would
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 2: tell a joke and I'd be like, ah, because I
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: wanted to make a ship, yeah, putting the mask on, yeah,
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: And it didn't feel good, right, It didn't feel good
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: in those situations.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: What does happiness look like for you now? I mean,
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: I know you gave a ted talk about this.
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 2: Uh I did. It's it's a lifestyle. It's not a decision.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: It's it's not a happiness is for me, it looks
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: like a lifestyle and doing the things that it really is.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: It's it's a lot of I think a lot of
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: people look at happiness as a decision, like, oh, I
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 2: want to be happy now, and I look at it
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: more of how I choose to live my life doing
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: things that make me happy, with the people that make
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: me happy.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: There's so much power behind like the moment some of
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: our daily habits, you know, and you know, as somebody
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: who's like always you're always putting yourself in these new situations.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: Like that's very different from how most people live, Like,
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: you know, they get up, they go to their job.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: You know, whether you're living for the weekend or whatever.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: You kind of have your routine, and as you age,
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: it's easier and easier to settle into that and more
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: and more difficult to like think creatively out of the
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: box about what the possibilities, you know, may be so
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: you know, how do you You're going around, You're giving
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: all these talks and talking all these people like what
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: are you telling them?
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: How are you getting people to, you know, to try
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: to like jackhammer them out of like their worldview.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I think one thing is I encourage people to
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 2: put something big on their calendar every year, circle it,
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: commit to it. Tell the world so you have you know,
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: it's easy to tell the world now with social media,
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 2: so you have accountability. And I feel like if if
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: you follow through with that big event or challenge or
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: whatever it is, I believe that the benefits are so
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: great they last a lifetime potentially, and it becomes somewhat addicting.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 2: So that's one thing I really encourage people to do.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: One very simple thing that I suggest doing is when
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: I was on top of Mount Washington with one of
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: my friends. When I took my son, he took his daughter.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 2: There were four of us. I said to him, he's
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: a police officer and one of the happiest guys I've
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: ever met. I assume is not super wealthy, you know,
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 2: he works for the local police department, but mega happy.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 2: And I said to him, I said, Kevin, how many
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: of these trips do you take. We're sitting in our
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: sleeping bag at midnight, it's pitch dark, and he said,
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 2: you know what, I take one trip a year with
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 2: my high school friends. And I'm like, I got to
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: do that. Because I only see my high school friends
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: once every five years. I means I'm only see him
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: like six more times. That's unacceptable. I can do that.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: And then he said, I take one trip, one or
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: two trips. Every other month. I take a trip for myself.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 2: I just ran the Eli Marathon, I did whatever, and
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 2: then I take a family trip. So every other month
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 2: he takes a weekend and he circles it and he
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 2: does something with his family or friends or whatever. I
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 2: call it the Kevin rule. I'm like, if I can't
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 2: take one weekend out of every eight weekends of my
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: life to do something with people that I love or
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: that I want to do, then I'm living out of
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: balance completely. And that's an easy thing to do. And
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: most of those things don't cost money. Mount Washington is
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 2: no it's free to park, there's no cost to go
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: climb the mountain. They mean to get gear, but you know,
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 2: most of those things don't cost and most they do's
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: to be physical. It could be like I want to
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: be in a book club or whatever, just and and
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: that's a very easy thing to do, but so few
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 2: of us do it, honestly, because.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: It's easy to be.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: It's easy and comfortable to be in your pattern and
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: your routine. It's very hard to break habit, food, habits,
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: daily for anything. And you know, and people are very
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 2: set in their ways. That's A and then B they're
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 2: told what to do. It's like we have a universal playbook.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: You know, work your ass off and take two vacations
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: a year, you know, and like that's not living for me.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 2: And there's nothing to do with where I am in
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: my life now when I was twenty I'm doing the
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: same shit rich I was doing when I was twenty one.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: I run every morning for an hour, I eat fruit
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 2: till noon. I have the same friends. The same shit
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: gets me off. You know. It's like I just it
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: might be it's just grander, but there's a playbook, and
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 2: the playbook is broken if you look at the playbook.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: You know, with divorce rate at forty fifty percent, what
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: forty percent of American mails or obese, I think something
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 2: like sixty six higher than that. Sixty six percent of
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 2: American adults are unhappy. There's a Harris survey that just
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 2: came out about that. There's an it's like, I want
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: to say, it's like, I don't have the exact but
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 2: it's I think it's like sixty five percent. It's even
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: meaning more percent of all Americans over thirty five don't
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: have over one thousand dollars in savings. I mean, the
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 2: playbook's broken. It's broken.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: And then you go to this monastery where these guys
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: are living this super simple life and they're happy. And
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: you hear this from anybody who travels from you know,
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: you're in a small village in Peru or something like
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: that where people have nothing, or Costa Rica, and there's community,
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: and these people are engaged and they're living longer, and
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: they don't have these diseases, and they're not obese, and
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: they're not staring at their phones. And we're so judgmental.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: We have all these opinions about how people are supposed
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: to live, and we're such a prosperous nation. It's just
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: it's bizarre and disorienting that that we've we've got so
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: many things so wrong.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: And I'm listen. If you love to work eighty hour
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 2: work weeks and that that's what you love to do,
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: that's fine. I'm not knocking it. All I'm saying is
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: I think there are a lot of people and I
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: fall into this area sometimes myself, and I catch myself
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 2: that have dreams and aspirations of things that they always
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 2: wanted to do, but it wasn't the right time where
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 2: they didn't have enough money or they didn't have enough experience.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 2: It's never the right time. You're never going to have
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 2: the right experience. And all of a sudden you wake
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 2: up and you're seventy, and that's my point, and you're like, God,
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 2: I wish I could have done it. And I think
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: if you were to interview one thousand elderly people, they
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: would all probably say the same thing, like I wish
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: I would have done this then. And if once you
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: become aware of that, the earlier you become aware of that,
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 2: the full of your life.
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: Is, why do you think you were able to become
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: so aware of it?
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 2: It's addicting. I did things early on and I was like,
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: I love this. I don't love sitting in my office.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 2: You know, it was very simple.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: I like to be how you build all these businesses
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: without like sitting in an office.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: Because I did the Kevin rule. I always put a
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 2: big you know, I ran one hundred miles in the
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 2: middle of marque Jet. I ran at least a marathon
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: a year in the middle of Marquee Jet.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: But the other thing is you're you're like a huge
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: relationships guy, right like you. I think you see and
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: value you know, the you know what relationships are and
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: can be. And that kind of is a through line
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: that runs through everything that you've done. Like just the
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: fact that you're you're going in you're hiking these mountains
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: with the cop or you know, you want to go
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: on a trip with your high school buddies, and you
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: tell that story about like you know, fifty cent was
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: your intern, Like you never know who you're going to
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: be working with. It's all about relationships.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 2: It is, it is, it's always. I think I think
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 2: that's what happens when you get a nine eighty on
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 2: your SAT.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: You got to build up hung up on the SAT. Dude,
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: you keep bringing it up.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: You know what, because I think I got for you.
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 2: I got ridiculed as a kid if you did at it.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's some pain around that.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 2: I think they make such a big deal, right, what
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: you get into SAT? What'd you get into SAT?
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: Well, my town, you know, it's a thing. Yeah, I'll
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: tell you something that's very interesting that just came into
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 2: my head. I grew up in a really unique town.
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 2: In my town, it was a small town.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: Like Long Island and Long Island.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: But in my town, we have two people that own
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 2: or owners of professional sports teams. Is not that many
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 2: professional sports teams we have two. We have Several people
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 2: in my grade have gone to jail, Several have committed suicide.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 2: Bernie Madoff is from my town, the biggest Ponzi scheme
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 2: schemer ever. Everybody in my town went through the same
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 2: school system, same teachers, same movie theater, same restaurants, same everything.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about the other day, how in the
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 2: world did that happen? Like? Had it made off?
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: Evolve?
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 2: And some people became billionaires and some people went to jail,
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 2: But so many of the people had the same kind
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 2: of in some ways opportunity. And I've been trying to
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 2: kind of crack the coat and get my arms round it.
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 2: I went to high school reunion a year or two ago,
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 2: and I was just thinking about, like this whole my town,
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 2: and how this dynamic of this particular town so much
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 2: success yet so much yet the biggest con artist ever,
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 2: yet some people with amazing parents or whatever ended up
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: in jail. It's like mind blowing to me.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: And so what do you make of that?
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 2: I was hoping you'd haven't tell you. I don't know, man,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: was it Roslin?
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 2: I think it was just some people got I think
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 2: it was just the competitiveness, the decision making you. This
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 2: came to me because you were talking about the SATs
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: and there was a lot of pressure in my town
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 2: around where you're going to school? Are you going to
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: ivy Ley School? You're going to this school? What did
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: you get in your stats? You know what I mean?
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: I mean I grew up around a lot of that. Yeah,
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 1: in DC, everybody puts on the they have the sticker
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: on the back of the car for the college and
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: the high school, and it's all about that.
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 2: Did you care? Yeah?
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: I cared. I was super competitive about it, but I
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 1: was able to make it work. Like I was not
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: a good student when I was younger, but I sorted
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: it out by the time I was in like tenth grade,
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: so I was able to I was able to play
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: that game, huh yeah, and make it and make it work.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: But yeah, hyper competit. It's like sports, you know, and
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: there's so much weird ego that gets played into that
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: in a dysfunctional way with the parents as well. You
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: know that I think is really damaging.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 2: So I think you're right. I think all those elements
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 2: came into play. It was just you know, it's a
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: little out there, but I was it just it came
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: into my head.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: Well, I just noticed it because you brought it up
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: like three times.
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 2: Thanks for thanks for bringing I'm not going to get
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 2: defensive about it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: And you know what I'm going to I have a
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 2: pain point, dude. I'm going to surrender it.
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: I think you can put it to rest now. I
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 1: don't think anybody fucking cares. Dude, it was thirty five
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: years ago. I know, it's like, get over it already.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: But it's funny, like those are the like I'm still
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: hung up on shit that happened way back then, you know.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: And it's like you're talking about like how we're reframing
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: our lives in terms of time and having a broader
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: perspective on it. And it's like, why do I allow
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: myself to still like look back on this thing that
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: happened and use either use it as an excuse or
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: to you know, kind of there's there's like a weird
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: morbid pleasure and like, oh, how painful was that?
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: It's like, why can't I transcend that?
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: You know it's so true? Well, thank you. This is
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: like a therapy section for me. I surrendered it.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how long you've been going? We got to wrap
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: it up here? An hour and a half. That's perfect.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: But all right, well let's close it down with and
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 1: we've kind of already gone through this. But you know,
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: for I always like to try to end it with
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: you know, a little bit of a life line for
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: the person out there, who who who's struggling, who's like,
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: you know, in that job that isn't doing it for them,
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: or you know, maybe they just can't get off off
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: the couch, you know, whatever battle you know that person
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: is waging, Like, how do you shake that person up
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: and get them to you know, take action? Because I
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: feel like so much of the podcast is like, oh,
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 1: here's all the information you need, but there's this gap
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: between the information and the action, like the implementation part
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 1: of it, and that's where people really struggle.
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think being aware of you know, if I
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 2: was going to summarize it, I would I would say,
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 2: you know, think about the notion of building a life resume,
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 2: put something on the calendar, you know, and circle it.
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 2: I think that's really important. Be aware of your time
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 2: and how you use it and who do you want
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 2: to spend it with, and how do you want to
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: spend it. Take action and realize that, you know, like
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 2: the clock ticks. If you're in a bad situation at
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 2: work and I've been there, I've been there, you know
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 2: many times, or in a bad investment or a bad
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 2: partners you know, if you let it go all of
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 2: a sudden, it's like the longer you let it go
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 2: without taking acts like an addict. Every second that the
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 2: addict decides he's not he or she is not going
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 2: to go to rehab, the odds of going go down
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 2: so much, right. I mean, that's a true stature and
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 2: it's no different than in life decisions like this. One
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 2: of the things, maybe I'll wrap it up with this
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 2: one of the things that I a takeaway that I
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 2: write about in my book. One of the ten are
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 2: two words that changed my life. And those words are,
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 2: remember tomorrow, when you have a split second decision that
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 2: you have to make or whatever, remember how that decision
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 2: is going to make you feel tomorrow. You want to
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 2: drop out of the marathon at mile eighteen? Fine, how
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: are you going to feel tomorrow when someone says had
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: you do? You want to take off your shirt and
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 2: drink the cane at the holiday party and dance on
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 2: the table and swing around and be the life of
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 2: the party. That's amazing at the party until tomorrow. And
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: you know those two words, if you really think about it,
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 2: when you have a key decision or you're at a
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 2: critical juncture in something big, how are you going to
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 2: feel when you make this decision tomorrow? And it comes
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 2: to peer pressure with you know, decisions, with drugs, with whatever.
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 2: And that's really those words have really impacted me. You know,
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna blow off the workout today, rich we went
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 2: late an hour and a half. You haven't worked out yet,
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 2: you know what, it's already the afternoon. How you're gonna
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 2: feel tomorrow about that? You're gonna be pissed. Right, So
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 2: that's a powerful thing. And any technique or tool or
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 2: thing that you can give yourself to give you an
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 2: edge and help you be better is amazing. And for me,
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 2: those techniques come through trial and error, trying a bunch
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 2: of different things, and it's not some expert telling me
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 2: what to do. Yeah, maybe I'll try it, but I
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 2: have to convince myself that it works, you know, And
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 2: that's been something. Those words have been two words that
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 2: really have worked for me. Powerful dude, Like, does that
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 2: make sense?
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes sense. I think.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 2: I think it makes sense for me.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I think I think what you have to do
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: is you got it. Yeah, it's like you said, you've
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: got to find the strategy that works for you. There's
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: a million ways to do it. You can canvas you know,
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: a thousand successful people and they're all going to tell you,
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: you know, a different approach to how they do what
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: they do. And so when you you know, like read
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: a book or listen to a podcast and it's like
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 1: here's the morning routines of the most successful people. Well
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: that's great, you know, Like, but they're different, Right, What
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: works for you? What resonates with you, that does come
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: through trial and error, and you've got to find your
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: own groove. Like you keep talking about like, oh this
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: lane that I'm in, It's like you got to find
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: your lane without question, and the only way you find
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: that lane is by trying on a million hats.
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 2: If someone with a lot of charisma tells you this
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 2: is what he, he or she does, they might be
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 2: able to pull it off because they have a lot
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 2: of charisma. But if you're introverted, it's going to be
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 2: very difficult to follow that advice.
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 1: So well, not only that, like if you're like, well,
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: Richard Branson does this in the morning, the idea that
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 1: if you mimic what Richard Branson does in the morning,
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: that you're going to become Richard Branson is ridiculous. And
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like there's a lot of disingenuous kind of
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 1: snake oil out there. Apps solutes around selling these kinds
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 1: of ideas rather than on getting people to do the
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: inside work to really figure out what makes them tick,
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: to cultivate you know that that sense of self that
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 1: will ultimately be the most powerful guiding force, you know,
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 1: to set you on the trajectory that you're meant to
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: be on.
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 2: Now that's powerful, and you're right, it's what makes you tick.
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: Right, and that only comes through like people want to.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: They want to they want to short circuit the inside job.
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: They don't want to go to the monastery for fifteen days.
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 1: They don't want to have to sit at the edge
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 1: of the bed with nothing to do, because that's not sexy.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: You know, that's hard and that's uncomfortable. But if somebody
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 1: does want to sidestep that, you're ultimately short circuiting your
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: ultimate potential and success because it is that inner regard
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 1: that ultimately will unlock what it is that's unique about you.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: That's going to be your ultimate success equation.
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 2: I totally agree with you.
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: I think we did it, dude.
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 2: I love it. You feel great, man, great? Yeah good,
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 2: ready to go to the tent.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: All right now, let's do it. Awesome. So thanks so much, man,
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it. That was That was super cool to
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 1: talk to you. If you're digging on Jesse, you can
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 1: connect with him online at one hundred mile Man at
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: one man on both Twitter and Instagram. It's the same
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: living with the living with the monks, Living with the monks,
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 1: the monks coming out. You may check that out and
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: of course made of Denali dot com.
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can go to you can go to Maide.
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 2: If you're interested in the chance, just go to Jesse
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 2: Itzler dot com slash Boundless also we'll take you there.
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for that, Rich and just appreciate
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 2: you having me man, Thank you. I really enjoyed it.
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah cool, Thanks dude. We'll do it again sometime.
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you man.
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 1: Peace. M hm.
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 2: M hm m hm