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Transcript

An Unlikely Affair: It's Not the Big Lies... It's the Small Ones · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi Lola, Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hi
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Babs is Lala Kent. How are you Amber? I'm good.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Thrilled to have you? You look beautiful, You look like
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: a like a beautiful Senorita. I'm giving sperm today, you're
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: not giving sperm giving. I'm giving getting sperm, but you're
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: not giving sperm.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I love that. I'm so happy to have you back
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: in town. My soul calls for you recently, I don't
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: know what it is, and you've made me cackle my
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: ass off the past two days. I feel so badly
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: for Amber. You guys, she was in town last week
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and I was unwell. She saw me in the rarest
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: form the rarest Like, truthfully, I don't even think I
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: was that way during my custody battle.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, I didn't know you back, but it was.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: It was not a great week.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: But I'm so glad we're on the other side of
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: that because now I'm like, yeah.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: That was brutal, and I'm really sorry that you Sorry
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: for myself that I had to experience that, but I'm
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: also sorry for you that that you were really going
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: through it.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I couldn't listen to music. You guys, we drove, oh
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: my god, fucking like Sherman Oaks to Calabasas.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: No, we did not drive from Sherman Oaks to cal
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: Let me let me correct you, let me step in.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: We were in where did we do that?
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: Other?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: That other? Oh West Hollywood. No, we were in like
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: fucking Hancock Park. Far. We were far. Oh Larchmont, that's Marchmont.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: We were there from Larchmont an hour and twenty minutes
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: to Calabasas. I went to go turn on the radio.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: She goes, I can't listen to this. I've never driven
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: that well.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: And I love music like music is like what is
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: like my caffeine through the day that gets me from
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: like one activity to the next to the next to
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: the next. And you just wanted it to be mute.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: And I just had a just I just had to
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: accept that.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And that was fun.
• 2:08
  Speaker 6: Every song she played, I was like, I'm gonna spiral
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: out where, like someone opened the tour unbuckle me and
• 2:16
  Speaker 6: pushed me out of the car like it was more thing.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I'm poor thing, never again, never again. I learned so much,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: but I'm back. I'm I'm glad.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: I mean, you know, Lala's back when she's like rocking
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: to Cardi B on the Way Here.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's when that's when you're back. Oh yeah, when
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: we're listening to what as pussy on the way Here
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: so good? And then outside and then I like it
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: like weight, I'm naughty, It's so naughty. And on the
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: along the lines of Cardi B her song Outside where
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: she says, next time I see your mama, tell her
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: that she raised a bitch. It goes so perfectly with
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: like what we're talking about today. Not that all men
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: are bitches. I mean, I've had this conversation with Easton
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: being like, what the fuck is going on out there?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Don't I don't get it. But you and I were
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: talking in bed and you were like, can I tell
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: you this weird lie that this guy that I used
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: to see told me? And I was like, I have
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: these little weird lies that men have told me as well,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: and it's like, what's the point, Like, what was the
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: point of that lie? Mm hmm. You for sure had
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: the weirdest experience. I asked you. I was like, who's
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: the weirdest guy You've ever did? And you were like
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: that guy And I'm like, I think I resonated that
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: man resonates with me. I am that man. No, you're
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: not not even close. Really, I think I have the
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: potential to be that guy. I want you to Yes.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, there were a lot of weird things in
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: that whole situation that you dealt with. I don't even
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: know where to begin, and you still rocked it for
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: kind of a while. You were like, no, willing to
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: see the change. I was observing.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: I wanted to be an observer, and I was like, okay,
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: let's just give him the benefit of the doubt. Let's okay,
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: so let me let me explain what happened. So I
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: was I was seeing someone for a very brief moment
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: in time, but the first time in my life I
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: had experienced having a partner that had issues in the bedroom.
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: And I've heard about this. I've heard people and women
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: that experienced this, but.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I've never in my life have had this experience.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: And so I was like, okay, maybe it's so we Like.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: I brought it up because obviously when you're in the
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: bedroom and there's like issues, I'm not going to ignore them.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: And then I had a like voicemail, what was it like?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: It wouldn't get hard or it would be hard and
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: then go first, it wouldn't get hard.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: That's very uncomfortable, and then it's.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Uncomfortable for everyone involved. And I felt bad. I did
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: feel bad. There was a part of me that was like, oh,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: this is so sad because I like you.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: But he came back the next time and he said,
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: guess what, like I went and got hills and I
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: was like, great, listen, I don't give a shit how
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: you get it up.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Just it just needs to get up and stay up
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: long enough. Yeah.
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: So he.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: Took him and then the next time I noticed that
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: like he did, and I asked him. I said, hey,
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: did you did you take your pills? And he's like no,
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: And I was like, oh that's great.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: We're back. It's like it stayed rock hard.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Yes, okay, yes there was we were still having issue.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: The finishing part was was another issue. But whatever, that's
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: a hymn problem. As long as I'm good.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I think a lot going on, a lot of issues
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: going on.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: So next thing, you know, like a day or two later,
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: I said, wait, so let me ask you again, did
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: you take the pills? And he's like, I said, you
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: said no, and he goes, well, I actually I did,
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: and I looked at him and I.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Was like, how would you lie about that? Like it's
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: such a weird thing.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: And I know men might feel like embarrassed if they
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: have to, but again, like it's just a weird, little
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: white lie, and that scares the shit out of me
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: because eventually I started noticing all these other little weird
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: things that weren't adding up, and I would you just
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: get this feeling that you they're lying that, like the
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: truth is not coming out.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't like sometimes little lies
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: scare me more than big lies. Oh, tell me more
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: about that. Why because the big lies like makes sense.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh okay, yeah, I can get down with that.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: But like I really didn't want to hurt your feelings
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: because X, Y and Z.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: But when it's like this little white light, I feel
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: like there's a little bit of a sociopathic personality thing
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: going on.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I think it's because of our trauma. Oh is it? Yeah, Well,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: it's just a weird thing anyway. It's a weird thing anyway,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: But I think it hits differently for us because the
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: person that we used to deal with like the strangest,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: the strangest lies. But do you know what's even crazier
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: is actually witnessing someone lie to other people. I had
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: that experience, yeah, for a long time, and I'm.
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: Thinking, oh my god, he's freaking lying right to these people.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: And I'm like study, because I'm an actor and that's
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: what I do. I'm like studying his behavior, and I'm.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Like, he's so good at lying. Yeah, yeah, yea yeah.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Like our ex. I remember being a dinner and him
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: telling the people we were with that he hadn't eaten
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: all day because he's on a diet. And I watched
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: him finish an entire box of Whole Foods croissants before
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: we left, and I was like, what, But again, what
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: a weird lie, What a weird fu. That's so strange
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: to me. Why why why do you have to lie
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: about that? Why do you have to lie about that?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: But you did eat? You did eat. I watched you.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I watched you eat.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: It's almost to me that sounds like it's not about
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: the people that they're speaking to or telling the lie to.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: This is about them feeling guilty that they're gonna sit
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: down and have another meal after.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: They just had a box of croissants.
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he was like, they're talking to their mind, to themselves, right.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: He felt judged that he finished the entire basket of
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Craig's bread. By the way, that's the healthier bread. If
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have a the best. Craig's has the best bread.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: No basket ever. I know, Oh, Craig's. I was thinking
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: the brand Craigs. You would I say it so differently,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: She says, Craig, Oh, Craig, and I just say Craig, Craig, Craig, Craigs, Craigs, Craigs, Tomato, Tomato.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I can't hear it. Is that funny. I literally cannot
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: hear the difference. That's fine, but there is a difference
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: when we say it, because when I say it, you
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: No, I thought you just met Craig the restaurant. I
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: was talking about Craigs, the bread that you buy it
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: at the grocery store.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: There's a brand called Craigs. Okay, I'm glad we cleared
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: that up. Is Greig's the restaurant bread? Still I went
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: there one time. Okay, Well, it's delicious and it comes
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: in fact into cheesecake. Factory. Thank you right here, baby.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: It is a weird He was feeling guilty that he
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: just finished a box of croissants and now he's finishing
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: a basket of bread. You're having a carb guilt. I
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: get it. A crisis, internal crisis, an internal crisis. No
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: one's judging you here except for yourself. I'm a little
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: angry about it because I have to see you naked,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: which is not pleasant, but you know whatever, we get
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: through it. The weirdest I was dating this guy and
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: he told me he was a minimalist. Oh, red flag.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I didn't think so I was like, oh my god,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: a minimalist after what I had just come out of
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: where it was just just excessive everything, Like we can't
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: go to Disneyland without buying the entire higher thing of
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: balloons that the woman's holding. I can't just get one. Yeah,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: So when you tell me you're a minimalist, I'm like,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I'm wet. What a green flag? Okay, we don't need
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: shit everywhere? Like I'm fine that you like cook in
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: the same area that you sleep, Like that's not a problem.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Like studio apartment, no big deal. Didn't love the fluorescent lighting,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: like that was a big.
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: Issue for me is that like an energy saver. I
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: think I don't know what it is. It's just awful triggering.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: Oh horrible.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: But he told me he didn't have a car because
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: he was a minimalist. Ugh still to this day is
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: on my top of like hottest men that I've ever
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: seen in my life. Wait where'd you meet him? I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: met him through a friend. She kept saying like, actually
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: the breakup, no, she was like totally normal. And then
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: when I told her, Yo, your friend's kind of well,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: he was a love bomber, but you know you and
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I love a good blud bomb. Tell me more. First date,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: let's fucking go. How did he look on me with words? Yes,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: but also with his time? Oh that's the best. Oh,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I can't. I think I just got a little what
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: time time? Oh, the time and the dick. He had
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: no problem with any of it. And it was just
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: like Vagina and Dick all the livelong day out together. Fun.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: But was he like a weird hippie kind of not
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: at all. It's not a weird hippie. Was he a
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: mushroom consumer? No? Oh, he was fucking normal from what
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I thought. But then, like I thought he was dead
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: in a ditch somewhere because he just completely fell off
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: the grid. He ghosted. You never heard from him again.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Is the last interaction I had with this man. Okay,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I'm in his bed and he said, I know you
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: have your daughter tonight, but I would really like to
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: have you start like staying over. And I was like,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I love this idea, but I know myself and if
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: we start doing that, like I get attached. That's just
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: what happens to me. And he was like, all right, well,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: like whenever you're ready, like you know, you can stay here.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: The next day that was I never heard from him again,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: never heard from him again. It so scary how someone
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: can Yes, I din't like it. I don't like it.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And did he give you a little white lie? That
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: was well the car thing. So yeah, you have to
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: remember at this time when I heard he was a
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: minimalist and that's why he didn't have a car. And
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, like whatever, because at that point
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I was just like, I didn't live. He lived in
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Marina del Rey. Okay. It was also weird because every
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: time he like would come out my way, he would
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: always ask if my friend was coming so he could
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: hitch a ride. Yeah, oh that's not sexy, not sexy
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: at all. So in the meantime, right, I do a
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: worldwide background check on people at this point in time,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I did so after he ghoest me. I get the
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: background check back. He doesn't have a car because he
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: was involved in a car accident and the judge ordered
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: him to he didn't have insurance. The judge ordered him
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: to pay for the other person's damage, damnage or whatever.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: He didn't do it. He had to pay like a
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: fine and whatever, and he just never paid it. So
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: they took his license away. Oh that was that lie,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: white lie. That got very grand. It got very grand.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: But that's a criminal. That's like someone trying to hide
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: that they and maybe.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: He's wasn't like, like you know, a serious criminal, but
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: like that is.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: So he was just like yeah, I got like, but again,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: why why why do people have to Why do people
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: have to lie it? Why do people have to lie?
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I just don't get it. I don't get it either.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: It's annoying. So there was also a guy who told
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: me that he owned his house, and his background check
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: came back where it was like he's not a homeowner.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what was the point. I don't care if
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: you rent, Like you offered this information, I didn't ask you,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: like are you a homeowner? Do you own this?
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: No?
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Never came out of my mouth. Isn't that weird? Yeah,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: it's it's just not it's not healthy. Okay, So, either
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: my picker is so far off or like the men
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: are just really hard. Good men are really hard to find,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: because even with you Amber, like, I feel like it's
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: most of my group who are single, they're like not
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: finding good dudes. And I'm like, well, all of our
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: pickers can't be that off, Like we can't all be
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: that far off or birds of a feather. I mean,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: maybe we all are just fucking insane. I don't know.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: It could be a little bit of both. Really. Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: I think Riley told me I was crazy the other
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: day and I said, but like crazy in like a
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: good way. She's like, Mom, you're just crazy, Like because
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: I'm dancing in the kitchen. If that qualifies me as crazy,
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: then I'll take it.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: That qualifies you as fun. And she's just in that
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: zone of your cringe at all times. Yeah. Yeah, they
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: go in and out of that though. I do, however,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: feel badly or the man because we are also like
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: their lies are like just kind of strange, where like
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: when a woman tells a lie, for example, and I
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: want men to be mind readers, like I had this,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I had this situation happen where it's like, let me
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: tell you something. When I tell you I'm fine, I'm not.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Just know that it's opposite day when I tell you
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to you, get out of
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: my life. You need to further engage, get on a
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: fucking plane and arrive at my front. But that's not
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: a lie. That's not a lie to me, that's not
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: that's just like, see how fucked up are we were like,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: But that's not a lie. It's not a lie. Well, okay,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: hold on a second. Let me think about this. Maybe
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I spoke too soon? Is that a lie?
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: I think it's just no, you know what, it's just
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: not being honest. Is there a difference between honesty and lying?
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: Like I wasn't being honest and that's a lie. M.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: I think that's a fine line because if.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: The roles were reversed, if a dude did that to me,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, then you lied about it. You weren't fine?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And now we're in a dark hole because you lied,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: you lied, you lied, And for when it's the other side,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: it's like I wasn't lying. I just wasn't fully I
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: think a lie is. I do feel bad for what
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I don't have. We switched places. What's happening now. I
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: don't feel bad for men. Why men are not like
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: holding up their end of.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: The bargain with you living this life.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: They're all little bitches in my opinion right now, already
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: said it. Next time I see your mama, yes, let
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: her know. But it's true.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: It's like, oh my god, it makes me want to
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: have another kid to be and raise a sun just
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: so I know there's at least one good and my dad.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: My dad's a great guy, but there's like one good
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: man out in the world.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because there's always something that's just a little bit off.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: But I was thinking that if a dude were to
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: go to his friends or his mom and read my messages,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: they'd be like, this woman's crazy. You should run.
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: No.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: See, my friends are so good and they're like, you're
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: not crazy here.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: But like even in Montana, I was like, oh, I'm
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: gonna go out there and there's gonna be some real
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: fucking men out there, like real.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Good old school, like yeah, corn bread, titty fed on
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: the farm totally. I guess, yes, yes, and there's not.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: It's the same. It doesn't matter where you go. They
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: all suck. They all suck. So who's dropping the ball?
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Is it the mom and the dad or do they
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: just come this way now because of society. Maybe it's
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: the almond milk. Maybe they're all being raised on the
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: coconut almond milk. Maybe maybe it's a hormonal thing, you know.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I think everybody social media. I think it's all these
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: fucking apps. I think it's accessibility. I truly do. There's
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: you can live in Montana now, but you can find
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: if you're a good looking little cowboy or whatever, you
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: can find a model in Italy and suddenly someone who
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: you would never even know existed. There's too much access. Yeah,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: well it's also the way they go about So I
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: matched with some guy on a dating app. Do I
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: know this man? No? No, I haven't told you the
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: story yet, And he was like, hey, let's hang.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: I'm like, wait, what I don't want to hate, Like,
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: that's not the way I personally want to be treated.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: I want someone to say, hey, I would love to
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: take you out to dinner. I don't want a fucking
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: coffee date. Like if I'm gonna step outside of my house.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah me, feed me, do eat on dates? Yeah? Yes? Oh.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I get a pit in my stomach. I'm like, I
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: can't breathe. What am I supposed to talk to you about?
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, do I fuck you? Oh my god?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Where do I fuck you? Though? Because I like my house,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: but I got a mom downstairs? Where do you live?
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: That's that situation. Like, I play through it and by
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: the time I'm done thinking, I'm like, I'm not going
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: on that dape even I don't know.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: It's just a way that men are communicating and asking
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: women out.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: I think I'm just getting a little more picky and
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: I don't want to rest my time.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Also, when I tell you go out do your thing,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: like have fun, I'm gonna need you to know that
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: that means if you pick fucking going out, I will
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: murder you. Wait what Like you know when girls are
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: like a guy wants to have a boy's night, He's like,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: do you care if I go out with my boys? Right?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: We're gonna watch the game. Let's just say you have
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: a new baby at home and the woman's like, yeah,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: that's fine, you should totally go do that. I'm going
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: to need you to know. That means you better stay.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: This is a test right now. Are you going to pass?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: And they always fail every time.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: I think before we go out with men moving forward,
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: we have to check their testosterone levels, we have to
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: check their IQ because a smart man, well, no, I.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Think I need to. I don't really care if his
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: IQ is super fucking high. I'm gonna need a high
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: EQ though. Oh yeah, yeah that's better. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't go to college. I wouldn't love if you
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: were testing my IQ because I don't even know what
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: it is. But bitch, I get the job done. I
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: got the street smarts and emotionally intelligent.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: Well yeah, that means he's going to be able to listen.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: You don't want to play mind games. But at the
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: same time, we're.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Not that like women are not that complicated, Like we
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: just want okay, maybe we are. We just want love.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Like for me, I'll speak for myself. For me, for me,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I want the same thing. Yeah, give me a good love,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: but also back it up, you know, what I mean,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: love bomb me, but then also give me your time
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: and we're ready to roll. And I get locked in
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: amber when we start forming the structure and the emotional connection.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I don't see anybody else. No, I'm the same way.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: There's not one person you could put in front of
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: me that would that would make me go. I don't
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: know about this, Yeah, I know. That's why I have
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: to wonder why did God like did God people say
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: like God turnder rund, where we together our procreant? I
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: did not just hear anything you fucking said. Say it again,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: but this English people people talk about this. Men and women, yes, together, Yes,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: to pro create. Yes. I don't necessarily know what I believe,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: except for I don't know that men and women are
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: supposed to be together because why why are we on
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: the you know, biological clock? And when we get to
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: you know, thirty five, it's considered and this is an
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: antiquated term, like a geriatric pregnancy. But then a man,
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: he doesn't even come into his own until he's like
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: in his forties, maybe even later, maybe fourteen five to fifty, okay,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: forty maybe exactly, maybe even later. But do you get
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? It doesn't make any sense. And then
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: we judge these young women who are going for older men,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: at least I do, because I'm like, now she's with
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: them for the money or whatever, because I'm traumatized. But
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, he probably just has this fucking shit
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: together and people her own age are not. They just
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: they're not closers yet.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: No, they don't know they're amateurs. And that is why
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: I've always liked older men, not for any other reasons,
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: like you just feel like this does not apply to
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: the first one, okay, but I just feel that they
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: are their emotional intelligence is is better, they're more aware,
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: they have more life experience. I also started my life
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: really young, and so I don't want to meet someone
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: at like around my age when they're just starting out like.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: It's it's a really complicated situation.
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: But unfortunately, I think that's probably why a lot of
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: women want to be with men that are at least
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: four or five years older than them, and their brains
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: are just built differently. Their brains are not it's not
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: the same.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing the side Because I'm like, I
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: totally get that, But then when you get hands on,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: like a younger dude, You're like, I know, I could
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: never go back to well, the right one, the right
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: one in tight Balls, Pretty penis like the whole thing
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: is just okay. You like a tight package. I like
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: just a man who's like thirty to my age. I
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: still think thirty is too young, but that's just my opinion.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: It depends on where you find him. I guess like
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: in La thirty is gonna be very But you're in
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Bozeman right now and you're saying that it's the same thing.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: So I feel it's the same everywhere, because honestly, I
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: go on Instagram and I hear people talk about it,
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: and it's like, it doesn't it doesn't matter. It's like
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: we're in a we're in a crisis, and I think
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: that everyone just needs to be rebaptized when it comes
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: to you're.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Right though, I feel like women, we're not as complex
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: as they make it sound. Like everyone can pick up
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: on a vibe and energy. You know, if I say
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: that I'm fine, I'm probably not because you wouldn't have
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: to ask me if I'm okay, right right, right, right right,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Like let's just start there on top of that, be
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: kind back up what you say and just communicate. Like
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: it's very very simple, but I do I like this question.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Would you rather have a partner who lies about small
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: things but is emotionally present, or is someone who's brutally
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: honest but emotionally avoidant. No, I do not want an
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: emotionally avoidant man. No, thank you, no, thank you. Yeah,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: I just dealt with it. And it's fucking gut wrenching. Yeah. No,
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: it's it's you. You're you're living on the ice like walking.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I don't, I don't.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: I can't even explain. It's like just not, I witnessed it.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: You want someone with substance and a little bit of heart,
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: but like a well balanced you know what I mean,
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: it's a well balanced human.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Don't ice me out. Yeah, Like, if we're in a
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: rough if we're in a rough area, and even if
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I'm talking crazy, I'm still communicating, you know, so to
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: just and that is a fine line too, because if
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I'm which I was not on a hundred, but if
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I get to one hundred, yes, there is a time
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: to be like, I'm gonna let you cool off. I
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: don't feel like this is a productive conversation. When you
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: take a beat, we can continue the conversation. But when
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: anybody ices me out, I feel extremely abandoned. And I
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: didn't realize that I had abandonment issues until this happened.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: In my opinion, there there's a fine line where it
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: turns into.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: People are gonna kill me for saying this.
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: It turns into abuse when you are not talking to
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: someone and you're shutting them out and you're not communicating.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: It's this weird control abusive relationship.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know. That's how I see it. Would you
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: agree with that? Yeah, I would agree with that. Yeah,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I don't like it. It's not okay.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: And even if you could say, like on the other end,
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: if he says, I don't know how I'm feeling right now,
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: I don't want you to think that I'm icing you out.
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: I just need a second to process everything that just happened,
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: I would be like, okay, cool, Like at least I
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: got that. At least it's something right. Yeah, No, there's
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: a lot that.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: And I think I spoke to Eastan about this, but
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I just feel like dating and you'll you'll relate to
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: this because you're in the program. But it's similar to
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: like sobriety, right, Like when someone enters rehab and they
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: feel really strong in their sobriety and then they enter
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: the real world and it's like, oh, this is this
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: was unexpected. I don't know that I have the tools
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: because I have been so in my bubble and worked
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: through things kind of on my own, just with the
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: little group I have around me. Now that I've re
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: entered the world, it has it's been jarring where I'm like, oh,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: this is going back to when we had that amazing
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: therapist on Melissa Thompson, and I asked her, you know,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've done a lot of work, but
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: what if someone comes into my life and my traumas
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: reared their ugly head. And she said, you know, there's
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: only so much work that you can do on your
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: own before people have to come in and recreate experiences
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: for you and teach you how to work through things
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: and actually use the tools in real time. And that's
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: how I I know, like I cannot allow this experience
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: to like put me back in my hole where the
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: wall is built and I'm just traumatized by the whole. No,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: it's a muscle.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: I have to work this muscle like you're working out
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: for the first time and you're doing things you've never
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: done before, and well, in a very long time, it's
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: going You just have to keep moving forward.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: You have to. You can't just like you can't retreat
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: back into your hole and I'm not gonna let you. No,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Well I can't amber because I can't go through. Last
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: week was like traumatizing for me. Yeah, yeah, you saw it.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: I think it was traumatizing for you. I think it
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: was traumatizing for my mom. I was not able to
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: be I was like on an autopilot, like just navigating life,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: not even knowing what was happening. I was making my
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: kids dinner and not even knowing what I was fucking doing.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: Well, because someone it's weird when someone's there and then
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: all of a sudden they're not there. That's like a
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: weird It's like, was I just dreaming? Like it's a
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: weird out of body experience that you've had and you've
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: processed and now you're on the other side of it
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: and you're fucking fine. Okay, so channel you're in her
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: fucking CARDI b bitch, and get back on that horse
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: and get eat the fuck up.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: You're tooking me a full seven days, But that's Okay,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: that's amazing. Seven days. You did it in seven days.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: God created the world in seven days. Wow, Oh my god,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: my mind is blown. Why because it's just so symbolic
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: what I feel like I did. He created the world.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I got through heartbreak. Yeah, you're good. Seems one and
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: the same to me. You listen, you could do hard
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: things and you did it. I did. I walked from
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: beaches to Craigs the other night and six inchields. So yes,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I mean I don't think I can. I can do
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: hard fucking things. That's hard.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, law We're going to take a quick
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: break and then we're going to be back to answer
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: some questions from our callers.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: I can't wait.
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: Lola fucking Kent, I love you, Holy Cow. But no, seriously,
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: I have followed your journey for forever, and honestly, I
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: think that one of my favorite things about you is,
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: of course how strong you are and everything else.
• 30:35
  Speaker 7: But what is the best way for motivation on your
• 30:40
  Speaker 7: sobriety journey. My brother has struggled with addiction, and so
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: I'm just curious what keeps your mind going into how
• 30:50
  Speaker 7: you've been able to get through the hard times and
• 30:54
  Speaker 7: the good times. And I also want to hear all
• 30:56
  Speaker 7: the tea on the valley, like, are we friends with Kristen?
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: Now?
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: Are we not friends with Sena anymore? I want to
• 31:06
  Speaker 7: know all these things because I've watched vander Pump's vander
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: Pump Roules since I was like, oh gosh, probably too
• 31:14
  Speaker 7: young to watch it, but hell, who cares spend the
• 31:17
  Speaker 7: time of my life? But anyways, and I think you
• 31:22
  Speaker 7: should wear orange more because you look like a bad
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: ass bitch with orange on. I don't know why, but
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: it looks so good on you, dude. Okay, anyways, I
• 31:32
  Speaker 7: love you bye.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: This is Madison tune by the way, m A D
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: Y s O M TU and E.
• 31:44
  Speaker 7: Don't know if that really matters or if you cared,
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: but whatever, love you nice.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with Madison. Oh my god, that's really sweet.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: The first thing. I mean, I I'm not allowed to
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: talk about anything on the valley. Kristin and I are friends.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: The sobriety thing. I think that this is the most
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: perfect time for that question to come through, because we
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: just celebrated two years for you, and we went to
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: a meeting and you got your cake. Yep. The speaker
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: was amazing I think the hardest thing about and you
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: can speak on this more Amber when you're not the
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: one struggling with alcohol, but you see someone right in
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: front of you, especially like your brother, which I relate
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: to because you were in alan On. That's like what
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: got you into the other room? Yeah, I started to
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: know it on. Yeah, Like, how did you deal with
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: people around you that you notice we're in a pattern
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: of addiction.
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: Well, I realized that if they weren't going to get
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: help themselves, or they weren't ready to take that step,
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: then I needed to take the step to figure out
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: how to manage because I was taking on like their
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: addiction was consuming me right, and I had to figure
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: out how to separate the two and then through alan On.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: And by the way, I wasn't even in alan.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: On that long, and I frankly, I do need that
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: program desperately. But I think once I got into my
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: program and just focused on my side of the street
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: and cleaned up, then the other people in my life
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: who struggle with addiction, it became manageable. And then I
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: learned through Alcoholics Anonymous too to realize that those people
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: are sick. And through that process you have like empathy
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: for them.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, I think what you pointed out, like, you can't
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: get someone sober, they have to desperately want it themselves.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: And I don't even know how I because yes, I'm
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: in the program. There are people who work their program
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: much harder than I do, that is for damn sure.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: But like getting through the good and bad times and
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: not picking up a drink, and quite frankly, not in
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: the seven and a half years that I've been sober,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: really even thinking about that, and I don't know how
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: that happened. I think I just remember so vividly my
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: rock bottom moment in that morning of waking up after
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I had been on a bender, of being like, this
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: is the darkest place I've ever been in. So when
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I think about having a drink when I'm really down,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I imagine when I do have a drink what the
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: next morning will be like, and that will be just
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: beyond brutal where I look at the clock and I'm like,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I could easily drive my car off a cliff right now,
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: like not even a thought on it.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: By the way, it people relapse even when their life
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: gets really big because they think, oh, life is good.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I don't need the p anymore. Right, I got everything
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: I got. I got the husband, I got the wife,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I got the house, I got the kids, I got
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: the car, I got the you know whatever. It is
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: a lot of people go out that way too, and
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: that's why it's just important just to have a strong community.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: And work a program that just works for you. That's
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: what I love about the program that we work is
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: that it just is. There's suggestions, suggestions, only you could
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: either take them or not.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's as rigid as people think, like
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: they hear God and they think like that kind of
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: scares them, and then they think of like a twelve
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: step program and these traditions that we follow and read
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: the Big Book, and I think it becomes very big
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: for an alcoholic or an addict. And I have a friend,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: like a couple of weeks ago who called me and
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: was like, I want to get sober. And I took
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: her to a meeting and she had mentioned, like, you know,
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: I listened to the speaker and I don't know that
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I can. I don't know that I have a lot
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: of people that I need to make amends with. And
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, you're already on step nine and you
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: just today decided that you had a problem. You're moving
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: too fast. Yeah. Yeah, Like I didn't get to a
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: step nine until I had like two years of sobriety under.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: My belt, and then in the middle of that was
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: taken back to my third and fourth step because something
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: happened and I was like, oh my god, I.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Don't know amens to anybody. Fuck this person, I'm so resentful.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: And then I had to go through the whole thing
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: of like owning my part and stuff. And it's like
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I do love that. Yeah, like me finding cocaine in
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: your pocket. Don't see how that's my problem? Yea capacity.
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: But that's where I feel like I am struggling in
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: my journey of sobriety is how do I forgive and
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: make amends but then also very firm strong boundaries without
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: continuing to have to forgive that person over and literally,
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: like on a weekly basis of things that hurt.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: That's where I'm struggling. But I think Madison was her name, right, Yeah, Madison,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: h m ad I and I would love to know
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: where Madison's from. By the way, I loved her. I
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: loved her too. That was like the most Amber and
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: La La episode we like. I felt like we were
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: laying in bed talking like just the many turns that
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: the episode tangenting. We could follow each other and hopefully
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: our listeners can follow us too. They definitely can, because
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I have a feeling that they've been following for many
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: a year. Yeah. Totally, thank you guys for listening to
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: another episode of an Unlikely Affair. We love you and
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: we will catch you next week.
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: By