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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Surrendering To The Process May Not Be Easy — But It's Essential · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Emily Badi here. You are listening to five
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Minute Friday from Hurdle. I have been thinking so much
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: about something that is highly frustrating for me, which is
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: that sometimes you just don't know what you need until
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: you need it. I am someone that really tries to
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  Speaker 1: plan ahead. I am someone that tries to look at
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  Speaker 1: scenarios from all angles and always have a plan B.
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  Speaker 1: But what I'm coming to terms with a lot lately
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  Speaker 1: is that I'm not always going to have all of
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  Speaker 1: the answers. And trust me, it's not like this is
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  Speaker 1: some brand new realization. But in the season of my
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  Speaker 1: life when I'm trying to be as proactive as possible
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  Speaker 1: and I recognize that it is not possible a lot
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  Speaker 1: of the time, I just need to throw my hands
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  Speaker 1: up and surrender. I'll talk to you about some specifics.
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  Speaker 1: I have been open about this on social a bit.
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  Speaker 1: I wrote a newsletter about it today. If you don't
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: subscribe to the Weekly Hurdle, please go over there and
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: check it out. The link to do that is in
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: the show notes, and it's absolutely free. If you keep
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: up with me in either of those places, then you
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: know I am beginning my egg freezing journey. This is
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: something that as much research as I have done, as
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  Speaker 1: many people that I have spoken to about it, I
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  Speaker 1: just have so much unknown. I don't know how I'm
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: going to feel after the first day of injections, the
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  Speaker 1: second day of injections, five days agay do injections. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know how the monitoring appointments are going to be
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: when you have to go in and get an ultrasound
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: and get blood work drawn. I don't know what's going
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: to happen if the retrieval is successful versus unsuccessful. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know if I'm only going to do one cycle
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  Speaker 1: of this, which is the goal, or if I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to do multiple I don't know a lot of things.
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  Speaker 1: I also, let's keep talking about the things I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: Don't know.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe I've said this, but how I'm going to feel
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  Speaker 1: next week so invites right people being like, come to this,
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  Speaker 1: do that. My guess is that I probably won't be
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  Speaker 1: able to do those things, but what if I can.
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  Speaker 1: I hate being flaky. A lot of unknown you get
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  Speaker 1: the gist, And I also don't know how I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to feel after. I'm just really rolling off of so
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  Speaker 1: many insights from candidly. A lot of really kind women
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  Speaker 1: I don't know that are in my DMS. So what's
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  Speaker 1: happening is that oftentimes you're not getting the messages that
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: are everything was great, everything is wonderful. I had no
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  Speaker 1: problems whatsoever. You're getting the messages of, Oh I wish
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  Speaker 1: I knew this. I wish I knew that my experience
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  Speaker 1: was awful, trauma dump.
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  Speaker 2: It's okay. I'm not mad. I get it. I asked
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  Speaker 2: for it.
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  Speaker 1: This was solicited feedback that just got very real, very real,
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  Speaker 1: very fast, being in this place of acceptance over the
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  Speaker 1: things I cannot change, being in this place of acceptance
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  Speaker 1: that this is how it is now. It is a choice,
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  Speaker 1: and there is so much growth to be had in that,
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  Speaker 1: and so similarly how I'm making every effort that I
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  Speaker 1: can to stand tall and focus on how proud I
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  Speaker 1: am of myself for coming to this decision and this
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  Speaker 1: decision that feels right for me. I am also making
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  Speaker 1: the conscious choice to be as okay as I can
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  Speaker 1: with the unknown. It's not what I want, right, I
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  Speaker 1: want all of the answers, but I've made it up
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  Speaker 1: until this point not having a lot of the answers
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  Speaker 1: for things I want in my life, and all I
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  Speaker 1: can do moving forward is the best I can with
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  Speaker 1: what I have, and what I have now is a
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  Speaker 1: lot of questions.
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  Speaker 2: And that's what's on my mind this week. That is
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  Speaker 2: what's on my mind this week.
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  Speaker 1: I do want to say a profound thank you just
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  Speaker 1: so many of you who have been reaching out and
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  Speaker 1: sharing your stories with me. I have responded when I
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  Speaker 1: have been capable of doing so, but I would be
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  Speaker 1: remiss if I didn't admit that it is a lot.
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  Speaker 1: It's a lot to take on, and I, like I said,
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  Speaker 1: I'm just doing the best I can with what I have.
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  Speaker 2: I treated myself to HBO for the month. I will not.
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  Speaker 1: Be making any purchases at all other than the HBO
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  Speaker 1: in the near future. That's not true entirely, but I
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  Speaker 1: did just receive a bill for ten seven hundred dollars, which,
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  Speaker 1: of note, most every clinic that I've heard of does
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  Speaker 1: offer a payment plan, but I felt strongly that I
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  Speaker 1: wanted to pay it off using our credit cards so
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  Speaker 1: I could at least get points or perks for spending
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  Speaker 1: this large sum of money. And if I didn't pay
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  Speaker 1: it off all at once, I would have to do
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  Speaker 1: acch and I didn't want to do that. Adulting is wild.
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  Speaker 1: Adulting is wild. And when I'm done answering this listener question,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to prepare my taxes and evaluate life.
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  Speaker 1: My prompter you this week? Where are you doing the
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  Speaker 1: best you can with what you have? And what area
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  Speaker 1: of your life right now can you offer yourself a
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  Speaker 1: little bit more grace? Where are you doing the best
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  Speaker 1: you can with what you have? And what area of
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  Speaker 1: your life right now can you offer yourself a bit
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  Speaker 1: more grace? And now a listener question. Hi, Emily, my
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  Speaker 1: name's Avery and I'm a longtime hurdler. I am coming
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  Speaker 1: into your inbox today to ask about sleep. I feel
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  Speaker 1: like I'm really good with my training and my nutrition,
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  Speaker 1: but my sleep is never as good as I think
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  Speaker 1: that it could be. A men's sister, how do you
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  Speaker 1: handle sleeping well? What do you do to sleep better?
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  Speaker 1: And what do you do when sleep anxiety kicks in.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm constantly awake at two or three
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  Speaker 1: in the morning, and I want to do whatever I
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  Speaker 1: can to stop waking up. Thank you for everything that
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  Speaker 1: you share. Love the show. Okay, first of all, I
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  Speaker 1: hear you. This is a This is funny because it's
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  Speaker 1: such a high achiever dilemma, like we're trying to win
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  Speaker 1: at sleep at the same time that we're trying to
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  Speaker 1: win at how we do our workouts when we're trying
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  Speaker 1: to win, and how we do our fitness. But candidly,
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  Speaker 1: sleep is just one of those things in life that
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  Speaker 1: the harder you chase it, I find that the faster
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  Speaker 1: it runs away. So when you're hitting a wall and
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  Speaker 1: you're staring at the ceiling, trust me, I have been
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  Speaker 1: there before. What that is often indicative of is that
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  Speaker 1: your central nervous system is just overstimulated. When that happens,
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  Speaker 1: it could be professional stress, your packed social calendar, living
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  Speaker 1: in a crazy city. Your body stuck on on is
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  Speaker 1: what's going on, and so you have to learn how
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  Speaker 1: to manually flip that switch. How do we do that?
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  Speaker 1: It's a really good question. I have a few things
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  Speaker 1: that I do. The first thing is I try to
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  Speaker 1: whenever I can, stick to what I call the three
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  Speaker 1: two one rule. So I try to eat three hours
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  Speaker 1: before I go to bed, I try to stop working
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  Speaker 1: two hours before I go to bed, and I'm no
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  Speaker 1: screens one hour before I go to bed. It's not
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  Speaker 1: always easy to keep this in the mix, but at
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  Speaker 1: the very least then I'll decrease that ratio a little bit.
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  Speaker 1: So it could be no food two hours before bed,
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  Speaker 1: no work an hour before bed, and no screens thirty
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  Speaker 1: minutes before bed. I'm like, okay, that's still a win.
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  Speaker 1: That's one of the things that's in my regular routine.
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  Speaker 1: Something else, we gotta think temperature in the room. I
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  Speaker 1: love a bedroom that feels like a refrigerator, so my
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  Speaker 1: bedroom is almost always between like sixty two and sixty
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  Speaker 1: four degrees. It's super helpful for helping your core temperature drop.
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  Speaker 1: No one likes to be hot in bed, and a
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  Speaker 1: cooler core temperature also is a really helpful signal for
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  Speaker 1: your body for deep sleep. And the last non negotiable
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  Speaker 1: for me in my sleep routine is darkness. The first
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  Speaker 1: thing I hung up in the apartment when I moved
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  Speaker 1: in blackout curtains. I even will look at a hotel
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  Speaker 1: when I'm traveling to see what their situation is. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: I understand you could wear an eyemask. It's just not
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  Speaker 1: my preference. So I am all about making sure that
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  Speaker 1: I'm blocking out as much light from the room as possible. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: the question of what do I do when I wake
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  Speaker 1: up at two or three am, the moment that your
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  Speaker 1: brain is spinning and everything you're thinking about the emails
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  Speaker 1: you didn't send.
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  Speaker 2: Again, I get it. I have been there.
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  Speaker 1: First things First, I start with a box breath, so
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  Speaker 1: I awake, and I try to not judge the fact
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  Speaker 1: that I'm awake.
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  Speaker 2: Easier said than done.
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  Speaker 1: Right, You're frustrated and you don't want to be there awake.
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  Speaker 2: You want to be sleeping. So I'll start with the
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  Speaker 2: box breath.
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  Speaker 1: So that's inhale for four, hold for exhale for four,
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  Speaker 1: hold for four. I do that for I don't know,
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  Speaker 1: maybe two minutes. I just keep inhaling and holding and
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  Speaker 1: exhaling and holding.
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  Speaker 2: And what that does.
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  Speaker 1: It's a physiological hack to move your body from a
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  Speaker 1: stressed state into a relaxed one.
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  Speaker 2: We love a box breath.
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  Speaker 1: Then, if I realize that it's been like fifteen twenty
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  Speaker 1: minutes of me being awake, this is frustrating, but I
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  Speaker 1: get out of bed. I would say that this is
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  Speaker 1: probably the hardest rule to follow, but also the most important,
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  Speaker 1: because your brain really needs to associate your bed with sleep,
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  Speaker 1: not with anxiety. So what I'll do is I'll get up,
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  Speaker 1: I'll walk to the living room. I won't typically turn
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  Speaker 1: any lights on, but if you want to turn a
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  Speaker 1: light on on low, make sure it's yeah, like that,
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  Speaker 1: like on low, and do something analog. So I'll read
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  Speaker 1: a book, or I will do some stretching, or maybe
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  Speaker 1: I will write the The writing a brain dump can
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: be really helpful because oftentimes, again, there's something spinning in
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  Speaker 1: your head, there's a worry that might be looping. So
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  Speaker 1: write it down, get it out of your mind, get
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  Speaker 1: it onto the paper, and tell yourself after you've done this,
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  Speaker 1: I've written it down. I can handle it tomorrow. Now
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  Speaker 1: I have the permission to go back to sleep. It's
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  Speaker 1: frustrating again, I totally understand. But at the end of
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  Speaker 1: the day, productivity is a byproduct of rest, it's not
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  Speaker 1: a replacement for it. So be as disciplined with your
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  Speaker 1: recovery as you are with your deadlines or your workout routines,
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  Speaker 1: and that will bring more.
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  Speaker 2: Peace into your sleep routine. I promise you that.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: It's at Hurdle podcast. I'm over at Emily Badi again.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you and thank you for making
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: me feel like this is a safe space to share
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: all of the things, all the time. Another hurdle conquered.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.