Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 40 | Booty Scoots

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40 | Booty Scoots · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Eric, I think I've established by now that if there's one thing I can do, it's commit to a bit.
• 0:08
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 0:09
  Matt: Yes, and even if that bit is more or less just for me.
• 0:16
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:16
  Matt: I give you this preamble to talk about an experiment I once undertook, much to my wife's chagrin, and that is an experiment known in this house as the Pirate Pant Phase.
• 0:30
  Eric: The Pirate Pant Phase.
• 0:32
  Matt: Yes.
• 0:32
  Matt: You see, it all started whilst playing Assassin's Creed Black Flag.
• 0:36
  Eric: Of course, as all things do.
• 0:38
  Matt: I was spending my nights and some of my days as a pirate on the high seas of the Caribbean.
• 0:43
  Eric: Do you sing along with the shanties?
• 0:45
  Matt: Who doesn't?
• 0:46
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:46
  Matt: What's the point of a shanty in a game if you're not going to sing along from it from your crate and barrel couch?
• 0:52
  Matt: Yes.
• 0:53
  Matt: Now, the as just as the pirates did.
• 0:57
  Matt: Yes.
• 0:59
  Matt: So I say all this because I, you know, I generally wear my my pajama pants around the house.
• 1:06
  Eric: I made my pajama pants bright.
• 1:08
  Matt: As we speak.
• 1:09
  Matt: Uh my soft pants, if you will, as as we like to call them in this house.
• 1:14
  Matt: It's also my work pants, because again, I worked from home.
• 1:17
  Matt: Now, one day I noticed that the the bottoms of my legs, the cuffs, were getting a little frayed from being stepped upon because they were a little oversized, these pants, you know, a little big.
• 1:28
  Eric: You gotta have oversized pajama pants.
• 1:30
  Matt: So they started to they started to fray, they started to rip a little bit.
• 1:33
  Matt: And that usually happens.
• 1:35
  Matt: But then I got like a big rip in it.
• 1:38
  Matt: But these pants, Eric, they were so comfortable.
• 1:41
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:42
  Matt: I I wasn't ready to part with one their pajama pants.
• 1:46
  Eric: You're not wearing them out in public.
• 1:48
  Matt: So I just cut off the rip.
• 1:53
  Eric: You did you did you just like make pajama shorts?
• 1:56
  Matt: No, I didn't.
• 1:57
  Matt: I don't want to be clear, I didn't cut them off at like the knee, I didn't make them shorts or jorts or anything.
• 2:03
  Matt: Yeah.
• 2:04
  Matt: I just cut off the part that was dragging on the ground.
• 2:07
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:09
  Matt: And then they continued to get caught under my feet, continued to fray, and slowly but surely they started to fall apart again.
• 2:19
  Matt: And so I, instead of throwing them out, I said, What if I just live my life like I was a castaway?
• 2:28
  Matt: You you went full Robinson Caruso.
• 2:30
  Matt: I went full Robinson Caruso.
• 2:33
  Matt: I went Tom Hanks and Castaway.
• 2:35
  Matt: Pajamason Caruso.
• 2:36
  Matt: Pajamason Caruso was me.
• 2:39
  Matt: And so slowly, over the course of months, Eric, months, these pants withered away.
• 2:46
  Matt: Tatters, and I'd tear some more off.
• 2:49
  Matt: And I had the it got to the point that they were short length.
• 2:53
  Matt: And imagine, tattered at the at the calf, then then up by up by the knee, then getting up towards the hip.
• 3:01
  Matt: Like jump shaving.
• 3:03
  Matt: They're wasting away, Eric, until finally the pirate pants themselves had enough.
• 3:11
  Matt: And I d I should have seen it coming.
• 3:13
  Matt: I should have seen what happened next.
• 3:16
  Matt: What happened next, Matthew?
• 3:17
  Matt: My ass just blew the back of them out.
• 3:20
  Matt: Just right down the what can I do then?
• 3:22
  Matt: Matt with them dummy thick ass out here.
• 3:26
  Matt: Just they couldn't, it could not be contained any longer.
• 3:32
  Matt: And my pirate pants, Eric, was sent out to sea.
• 3:36
  Matt: And Lindsay rejoiced.
• 3:39
  Eric: Oh, I'm sure Lindsay was fucking thrilled.
• 3:42
  Matt: Eric, I'm telling you, for months, I walked around this house committed to seeing how long I washed these pants as ripped.
• 3:53
  Matt: Okay?
• 3:54
  Matt: I laundered these tattered clothes.
• 3:59
  Matt: Like a pauper.
• 4:01
  Matt: Just as Robinson Caruso did himself.
• 4:03
  Eric: Hell yeah.
• 4:04
  Matt: Hell yeah.
• 4:05
  Eric: You roughing it?
• 4:06
  Matt: I roughed it from the comfort of my grain barrel couch.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
• 4:37
  Matt: My name is Eric Goddamn Poach.
• 4:40
  Matt: Wow.
• 4:42
  Matt: That's right.
• 4:43
  Matt: Slam slam in the desk with the assurance of your own name.
• 4:48
  Eric: Goddamn right.
• 4:50
  Matt: And this, Eric, this is our 40th episode already.
• 4:54
  Matt: Isn't that exciting?
• 4:56
  Eric: I am feeling so Middle-aged?
• 4:59
  Eric: Dirty, flirty, fresh, and 40.
• 5:02
  Matt: I d uh don't know that that worked the way that you it's near rhyme, Matthew.
• 5:07
  Matt: It's a near rhyme.
• 5:09
  Matt: Interesting, interesting.
• 5:10
  Matt: Well, Eric, what you got going on over there?
• 5:12
  Matt: You know, is there anything you want to talk about before we get into the hard-pressing questions?
• 5:16
  Eric: Oh, you know.
• 5:18
  Eric: I've been playing a lot of Sonic.
• 5:21
  Matt: Sonic, the Hedgehog.
• 5:22
  Eric: The hedgehog.
• 5:23
  Matt: Yeah, the very same.
• 5:24
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:27
  Matt: And how's it going, I guess?
• 5:28
  Eric: Oh, going fast, getting coins, sometimes getting hit, sometimes losing coins.
• 5:33
  Eric: Um, Tails is there.
• 5:36
  Eric: Don't know like exactly why.
• 5:38
  Eric: Don't know what the relationship there is.
• 5:40
  Matt: Yeah.
• 5:40
  Matt: Yeah.
• 5:41
  Matt: It's always been a little ambiguous.
• 5:43
  Eric: Not on the the fan fiction parts of the internet.
• 5:47
  Eric: Oh, well, yeah.
• 5:48
  Matt: Nothing is ambiguous on Reddit.
• 5:50
  Eric: But yeah.
• 5:51
  Matt: Well, that's good.
• 5:52
  Matt: Yeah.
• 5:52
  Matt: I I I haven't been flirting with Sonic.
• 5:55
  Matt: Um sorry, that's what I heard you say.
• 5:57
  Matt: That's what you said.
• 5:58
  Eric: Oh, no.
• 5:59
  Matt: Oh, sorry.
• 6:00
  Eric: No.
• 6:00
  Eric: Oh, please go.
• 6:01
  Eric: Yeah, no, it's not.
• 6:02
  Matt: I think maybe that was the fan fiction coming into mind.
• 6:06
  Matt: Should we get into some questions?
• 6:07
  Eric: Let's get into some goddamn questions.
• 6:09
  Matt: Thank God.
• 6:10
  Matt: Uh so Eric, um, I believe uh you you gathered this first one for us uh from a friend of yours, yes?
• 6:18
  Eric: So yeah, this one uh was given by one of my wonderful idiot friends.
• 6:25
  Eric: Uh this comes from Kevin.
• 6:27
  Eric: The question is, are there more windows or more wheels?
• 6:33
  Matt: Now I think this is a play on the uh the popular TikTok trend of like a month and a half ago of are there more doors or wheels in the world?
• 6:46
  Matt: We've swapped doors for windows.
• 6:49
  Eric: So now it's legally distinct.
• 6:51
  Matt: Yes.
• 6:52
  Matt: I mean, there are no laws, I think, on TikTok, but the I I think that's been proven.
• 6:58
  Matt: They're like their own international waters.
• 7:00
  Matt: They run they run the world now.
• 7:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 7:03
  Matt: Uh the but that being said, I was very firmly in Team Wheels wheelhouse before.
• 7:12
  Matt: And I think I got even though we're switching from wind doors to windows, I think it's still gonna be wheels, my friend.
• 7:18
  Eric: I I'm I'm I'm you know, I'm not team wheels or team windows per se.
• 7:27
  Eric: I'm team, let's get all the facts.
• 7:30
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 7:30
  Eric: Okay, sure.
• 7:31
  Matt: Uh so that's what we do here, allegedly.
• 7:34
  Eric: For the purposes of this question, what are we defining as a window?
• 7:40
  Eric: Uh that is a good question.
• 7:42
  Eric: Because that hinges a lot of things for me.
• 7:44
  Matt: Yeah, sure, like a door.
• 7:46
  Matt: The I think the definition of a window for me would be, you know, it's it's glass.
• 7:52
  Matt: It doesn't necessarily have to be glass, I guess, but you know, you see through it.
• 7:55
  Matt: It could be just an open hole in the wall, I suppose.
• 7:58
  Matt: If you're talking about a hut, that could be a that could be a window.
• 8:02
  Matt: But but it's not an entrance.
• 8:05
  Matt: It is a it is an entrance for light only, an air.
• 8:09
  Matt: For things to okay.
• 8:11
  Matt: Would we extend that for like uh so like a glass door, for example, I would say I would say that that is a door and a window.
• 8:21
  Matt: Okay, because the door opens, but the window part still exists as a window.
• 8:27
  Eric: Matt, and most certainly not for the last time in our journey, this podcast together.
• 8:33
  Eric: Okay.
• 8:34
  Eric: Are you willing to open your mind with me?
• 8:36
  Eric: Am I not always, Eric?
• 8:38
  Eric: Okay.
• 8:38
  Eric: I am nothing but open-minded.
• 8:41
  Eric: Let's let's let's let's go down the rabbit hole a little bit.
• 8:44
  Eric: So we obviously windows, car windows, house windows, school windows.
• 8:49
  Eric: All kinds of windows.
• 8:50
  Eric: Windows within the home, browser windows.
• 8:54
  Eric: Now, come on, they are they are rectangular shape, they are they information and light comes through them.
• 9:02
  Eric: Eric.
• 9:03
  Eric: It browser windows.
• 9:04
  Eric: Are you counting cheese wheels for wheels?
• 9:09
  Eric: That's that's see now you see.
• 9:12
  Matt: Okay.
• 9:12
  Eric: And though and they who were dancing, Matt, were thought mad by those who could not hear the music.
• 9:18
  Matt: But here's the difference though.
• 9:20
  Matt: A a uh a cheese wheel, if we're counting it as a wheel, is a physical thing.
• 9:27
  Matt: A window on your computer screen is not I could I could maybe Frisbee a wheel if you I could maybe give you the screen if you want.
• 9:38
  Matt: Well, let me but individual windows.
• 9:41
  Eric: Oh, if you give me the screen, you gotta give me the window.
• 9:43
  Eric: So then I'm not giving you the screen.
• 9:45
  Eric: Then there's other possibilities.
• 9:47
  Eric: It's not all, it's not it's not just about, you know, fucking hedge my bets for windows.
• 9:51
  Eric: I see wheels.
• 9:52
  Eric: What about this what about a little iPhone scroll like loading wheel?
• 9:59
  Eric: Is that a wheel?
• 10:00
  Matt: I don't think that's a wheel.
• 10:02
  Matt: Don't think that's a wheel.
• 10:03
  Matt: That's a graphic, Eric.
• 10:05
  Matt: Which is also, by the way, what the windows are.
• 10:09
  Matt: And we're only calling them windows because that's what Bill Gates called them.
• 10:14
  Eric: Well, why did Bill Gates call them Windows?
• 10:16
  Eric: Hold on.
• 10:17
  Eric: No, I'm gonna Google.
• 10:19
  Eric: Why did I I forgot the V, so I just started writing ill Gates, and I think that'd be a bitch in DJ name.
• 10:27
  Eric: Uh why did Bill Gates call them Windows?
• 10:32
  Eric: Oh, well, Bill Gates wanted to call Windows interface managers.
• 10:38
  Matt: Okay, so someone in marketing came up with the better name.
• 10:41
  Eric: Because of course it's the Windows name prevailed because it best describes, but note the words best describes um the boxes or computing windows that were fundamental to the new operating system.
• 10:54
  Matt: Eric, I see what you're trying to do here, okay?
• 10:56
  Matt: What?
• 10:57
  Matt: You're trying to say if we agree.
• 10:59
  Eric: I'm trying to expand the conversation.
• 11:02
  Matt: Sure.
• 11:02
  Matt: What you're trying to say, Eric, is if you count a computer window, an artificial thing that only exists because of code, ones and zeros, if you count that as a zero as a window, you can make infinite browser windows and therefore infinite windows.
• 11:16
  Matt: That's what you're trying to say, right?
• 11:17
  Matt: I would look up the the average number of browser windows open at any given time.
• 11:22
  Matt: I don't think we need to do that.
• 11:25
  Matt: Do you I'm I I have to say, Eric, I have to break the bit.
• 11:28
  Matt: Do you really want to count a computer window as a window?
• 11:31
  Matt: Really?
• 11:31
  Eric: I feel like, like for real, I feel like that's the only way Windows gets a chance.
• 11:35
  Matt: Yeah, I also agree with you that that's the only way Windows gets a chance, but that I think you're giving it too big of a handicap.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because like wheels, it's just because wheels are everywhere, right?
• 11:45
  Matt: Each drawer has like four wheels in your house.
• 11:48
  Matt: You know, the a car has like a bazillion wheels.
• 11:51
  Matt: Bazillion wheels.
• 11:52
  Matt: Because a gear, that is a wheel.
• 11:54
  Eric: That's a wheel.
• 11:55
  Eric: That's like I'm trying to give the same amount of flexibility that we're just assuming with wheels to Windows.
• 12:02
  Eric: Okay, sure.
• 12:04
  Eric: Windows is in the ring, fucking hand tied behind their back, like both hands tied behind their back, and wheels is out here like, oh, bop, bop, bop.
• 12:12
  Eric: Look at all the different ways I can be defined, dog.
• 12:14
  Eric: Bam.
• 12:15
  Eric: And Windows is out here like, I can be so much more, but you're in the corner, like, no, I'm the referee, and you have to keep your hands behind your back because I want you to lose.
• 12:24
  Eric: Like, that's what I'm seeing happening.
• 12:27
  Matt: Eric, I just don't think I can get behind calling the the zoom window that I'm looking at right now.
• 12:35
  Matt: You had to use the word window to tell me what it was.
• 12:38
  Matt: I'm not that's because that's the name given to it.
• 12:42
  Matt: Because it's a window.
• 12:43
  Matt: Okay, but we also call the spinning wheel of death a spinning wheel of death, but that's not really a wheel.
• 12:49
  Matt: It's an image.
• 12:50
  Matt: It's an image of a wheel.
• 12:52
  Matt: It is but the shadows on the wall.
• 12:55
  Matt: Once again, we find ourselves in Plato's cave.
• 12:59
  Eric: Fucking goddamn, we're always here.
• 13:01
  Matt: We can always come with a timeshare.
• 13:04
  Matt: You know, but you do you see what I'm saying here?
• 13:07
  Matt: Do you really want to equate the bringer of light into your home, the the the glass door on your patio?
• 13:16
  Matt: You really want to uh equate that with what you use to look at Reddit?
• 13:25
  Matt: Okay, all right.
• 13:27
  Matt: No, no, all right, take us down the path, Eric.
• 13:30
  Matt: Paint me the picture, baby.
• 13:32
  Eric: Okay.
• 13:33
  Eric: Okay, so you you're willing to seed this to me.
• 13:36
  Eric: I'm willing to give you a chance.
• 13:38
  Eric: Well, I I just like just just so I can go into a full confidence.
• 13:42
  Eric: Can you just like can you just be like I Matt seed that like you know, like here how like I'll even soften it for you?
• 13:49
  Eric: I'll even soften it for you.
• 13:51
  Eric: Just just before I like I I I slam this conclusion down, could just be like, I seed that that internet windows could be windows.
• 14:01
  Eric: But you give me that.
• 14:02
  Eric: But that's not what I'm saying, Eric.
• 14:04
  Matt: But but like you're what I'm saying is I'm willing to communicate a chance to make the argument to me that they are.
• 14:11
  Eric: Well, no, that's that's that's like that's when you when I say the word could, that's me like voicing your I'm open to be proven like like could be you're not just completely shutting it down.
• 14:22
  Eric: Fine, fine, okay.
• 14:23
  Matt: Fine, Eric.
• 14:24
  Matt: Yes.
• 14:24
  Matt: Okay.
• 14:24
  Matt: I am willing to listen to you to see if you can show me that the the boxes on the screen could be considered legitimate, authentic windows.
• 14:40
  Eric: So the much shorter and efficient way to say that would be that you see that Windows could be Windows.
• 14:46
  Eric: Maybe.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_03: I've given you a maybe, I think.
• 14:49
  Matt: Maybe you give me a maybe on a could?
• 14:53
  Matt: What do you want from me?
• 14:54
  Matt: What do you want from me?
• 14:56
  Matt: Just say your bit.
• 14:56
  Matt: You've got a bit.
• 14:57
  Matt: Go on.
• 14:59
  Eric: Just just I just want to hear like internet windows could be windows.
• 15:03
  Matt: Internet windows could potentially be windows if you bring the goods.
• 15:07
  Matt: So you got them or not.
• 15:09
  Matt: Dope.
• 15:10
  Eric: Definitely more wheels.
• 15:12
  Eric: Are you are you kidding me?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Are you kidding me?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: Are you kidding me right now?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Is this real life?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
• 15:25
  Matt: Hold on.
• 15:27
  Matt: I can't I can't possibly believe what I've just been put through.
• 15:34
  Matt: I have to clutch my pearls.
• 15:36
  Eric: Oh.
• 15:38
  Matt: Fuck.
• 15:39
  Matt: What?
• 15:39
  Matt: Wait a minute.
• 15:40
  Matt: You're not even gonna make an argument here?
• 15:42
  Matt: You don't even believe the thing you had me all fired up about?
• 15:46
  Matt: Have you just been leading?
• 15:48
  Eric: I just needed you to take that one step to open your mind.
• 15:50
  Eric: You'll think.
• 15:51
  Eric: This is why we don't compromise, Matt.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_03: This is why.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: This is why we hold our opinions close to the chest.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: And we never waver.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: We never waver because you let someone in, and this is what they do to you.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: They do it every time.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: 32 years.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: You haven't learned this lesson yet.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
• 16:11
  Matt: That was a great time.
• 16:12
  Matt: That was fun.
• 16:13
  Matt: I was blessed.
• 16:14
  Matt: I can feel my blood pressure boiling.
• 16:19
  Matt: Uh so with that, Eric.
• 16:21
  Matt: Yes.
• 16:21
  Matt: Perhaps we should.
• 16:22
  Matt: So we are okay.
• 16:23
  Matt: I always believed it was wheels.
• 16:25
  Eric: Oh, 100% like the whole time.
• 16:26
  Eric: There was never any doubt in my mind.
• 16:27
  Eric: 100%.
• 16:28
  Eric: We're like, I hate you so much.
• 16:30
  Eric: There's no qualifier you can put in anything to like make me think there's more of something else.
• 16:35
  Eric: Worst person I've ever met.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: And on and on that note, it's wheels, Kevin.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Kevin, it's wheels.
• 16:45
  Matt: Sorry, Kevin.
• 16:47
  Matt: Thank you.
• 16:48
  Matt: Thank you.
• 16:49
  Matt: Okay.
• 16:50
  Matt: Well, I'm stressed.
• 16:52
  Matt: And you know, now that we're already in a heightened state areas, perhaps that is the best time to revisit a segment we haven't done in a hot second.
• 17:02
  Matt: And I'm talking about a fast five.
• 17:08
  Matt: So if you uh if you haven't experienced a fast five uh yet, go back, listen to some past episodes.
• 17:14
  Matt: Uh, this is when we're gonna throw down five questions, five answers, in just five minutes.
• 17:22
  Matt: Now, these have all been sent in over many, many months.
• 17:26
  Matt: So you might these people might have forgotten that they did it, Eric.
• 17:29
  Matt: But hey, hey, we always come back for you.
• 17:31
  Eric: We always come back for you.
• 17:32
  Matt: So, how about this?
• 17:33
  Matt: Uh uh I'll read, as I believe we normally do, I'll read the first question.
• 17:38
  Matt: Okay.
• 17:38
  Matt: Who sent it in, and we will start the clock.
• 17:41
  Matt: All right.
• 17:41
  Matt: Are you feeling good?
• 17:42
  Matt: I'm feeling good.
• 17:42
  Matt: I'm feeling limber.
• 17:43
  Matt: Well, that's good.
• 17:44
  Matt: So it is spring uh now, Eric.
• 17:47
  Matt: The pools are opening up across the country.
• 17:50
  Matt: So our first question in the Fast Five comes from Alex Cavarakis on Instagram.
• 17:55
  Matt: At Alex Cavarakis, of course.
• 17:57
  Matt: He did pretty much reveal his name in his user handle.
• 18:00
  Matt: That's not on us.
• 18:01
  Matt: Not on us.
• 18:01
  Matt: That's on him.
• 18:02
  Matt: And he asks, Cannonball requirements begin.
• 18:07
  Eric: Cannonball requirements.
• 18:09
  Eric: First of all, your body has to be in the shape as close as you can to a spheroid.
• 18:13
  Eric: So you know knees gotta be tight.
• 18:14
  Eric: Like knees tight, such as head, arms, arms gotta be around them.
• 18:18
  Eric: Arms gotta you gotta be holding yourself like your your own raft in the storm or whatever.
• 18:23
  Eric: Uh, I'd also argue that for a successful cannonball, you need at least 10 feet of runway to the edge of the pool.
• 18:30
  Eric: Like you can't just cold jump from the side of the pool and be like, cannonball.
• 18:33
  Eric: No, you need you need to launch yourself.
• 18:36
  Matt: And it the splash needs to be disrupt- I'm I don't we're not gonna sit here in the next 25 seconds to give you a diameter, but the splash diameter needs to be big enough that it is disturbing to the pool.
• 18:49
  Eric: Yes, it needs to be fucking up someone's day.
• 18:52
  Matt: It needs to be, you need it needs to be it's the truly the asshole entrance of the pool.
• 18:58
  Eric: Also, absolute etiquette thing, you have to announce cannonball when you go to do it.
• 19:04
  Matt: Just as Van Halen intended.
• 19:06
  Matt: Yep.
• 19:08
  Matt: That is uh actually a reference to the fact that the song is called Panama, but I always thought they were saying cannonball when I was a child.
• 19:15
  Matt: I'm just realizing that in real time.
• 19:17
  Matt: We're now 10 seconds into our next question, which comes from Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead.
• 19:21
  Eric: Our next question, which comes from Sarah Feldman at Sarah Feldman on Instagram, who asks, What's the most superior utensil?
• 19:29
  Eric: Spork?
• 19:30
  Matt: It's gotta be a spork, right?
• 19:32
  Matt: I mean, is there any conversation you can do everything with it?
• 19:35
  Matt: You can even cut with it if it's strong enough.
• 19:37
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:37
  Eric: Spork is pretty dope.
• 19:38
  Eric: It fits like you can use it one-handed.
• 19:41
  Eric: Uh, you can use it with like with two fingers.
• 19:44
  Eric: That's really all one finger.
• 19:45
  Eric: You just need a uh a finger to grip it in.
• 19:48
  Matt: Uh absolutely.
• 19:49
  Matt: I I I relied on my spork, my aluminum spork very heavily in my mess kit as an Eagle Scout, of course.
• 19:56
  Matt: So uh now moving right along, Eric, our next question comes from Ashley, and she asks, How do you fuck a mermaid?
• 20:04
  Matt: Consensually.
• 20:06
  Eric: Okay, next question.
• 20:07
  Eric: Etiquette.
• 20:08
  Eric: How long do you have to wait to throw out a coworker's food in the work refrigerator after it expires?
• 20:14
  Eric: Doug, if it's expired, it gets thrown away.
• 20:19
  Eric: Get rid of it.
• 20:20
  Matt: I mean, it's stinking up the place.
• 20:22
  Eric: Yep, yep, yep, yep.
• 20:23
  Eric: Now, if if it's like uh uh who can say if it's something that can be expired but it's like in a glad bowl, you know what I mean?
• 20:30
  Eric: Like it's some like dairy thing, but it's in like Tupperware, yeah, I would say you like you know, a week after you saw it in there first, that's that like the the second Friday after it's been put in.
• 20:47
  Matt: I'd also say if it has gotten pushed to the back, yes, like if you have to if you have to reach, if you have to contort your body to get to the thing, yeah, it can go.
• 20:58
  Matt: It can go.
• 20:59
  Matt: It can go.
• 21:01
  Matt: I don't think you have I don't think there's anything preventing you from just tossing that.
• 21:05
  Eric: No, if you know it's expired, you have uh uh imminent domain, you can just, you know.
• 21:12
  Matt: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 21:14
  Matt: And that question comes from at Carissa Hatfield.
• 21:17
  Matt: I think we've answered the question, Eric.
• 21:18
  Matt: Don't you tell me?
• 21:19
  Eric: Oh, absolutely.
• 21:20
  Matt: So let's uh move on.
• 21:22
  Matt: By the way, Eric, we have plenty of time right now.
• 21:24
  Matt: We've got a minute and forty seconds.
• 21:26
  Eric: All right, let's take our time with this real, you know.
• 21:29
  Matt: Sure.
• 21:29
  Matt: This comes from a.lexa Lee on Instagram.
• 21:32
  Matt: How many chuggas goes before the choo-choo?
• 21:38
  Matt: Huh.
• 21:40
  Matt: I think it's traditionally too.
• 21:42
  Matt: It's traditionally chugga chugga chew chugga.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And if I may quote um major pain chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.
• 21:55
  Eric: Oh, wait, how many chuggas is that?
• 21:56
  Matt: That was a lot of chugs.
• 21:58
  Eric: Oh, you're just oh, when you say two, you're saying.
• 22:00
  Eric: Chugga chugga choo-choo?
• 22:01
  Eric: Don't change.
• 22:02
  Eric: Oh no, no.
• 22:03
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 22:04
  Eric: Chugga chugga chug.
• 22:05
  Eric: I treat a chugga chugga as one unit.
• 22:09
  Eric: Chugga chugga.
• 22:10
  Matt: No, it might even be three.
• 22:11
  Matt: No one sits there and goes chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chug.
• 22:14
  Matt: Chugga chugga chugga.
• 22:15
  Matt: He's doing a bit, Eric.
• 22:18
  Eric: I think me personally, six chuggas.
• 22:20
  Eric: Two sets of three before.
• 22:22
  Matt: Chugga chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.
• 22:25
  Eric: Well, when you say I'm like that.
• 22:27
  Eric: Yeah, well, you don't like suggestions.
• 22:30
  Eric: You gotta you gotta just chugga chugga chucha.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Chugga.
• 22:33
  Matt: Chugga chugga chugga.
• 22:35
  Matt: No one does that.
• 22:36
  Matt: And you gotta like plenty of.
• 22:39
  Matt: We could have knocked this out.
• 22:40
  Matt: We could have had a celebratory bit about being done a minute.
• 22:44
  Matt: Chugga chuck-cha.
• 22:45
  Matt: It's not wrong.
• 22:46
  Matt: You're wrong.
• 22:46
  Matt: We have 12.
• 22:47
  Matt: More than one.
• 22:50
  Matt: That's all you want to say?
• 22:51
  Matt: More than one?
• 22:53
  Matt: More than one chugga chugga?
• 22:55
  Matt: Or more.
• 22:55
  Matt: So you're saying one chugga chugga?
• 22:57
  Eric: I'm saying I'm gonna change.
• 22:58
  Eric: So you mean it needs to be minimum chugga chugga, chugga chugga?
• 23:01
  Eric: Come at me with chugga.
• 23:03
  Eric: Chuck.
• 23:04
  Eric: You're a sociopath.
• 23:06
  Matt: Time.
• 23:08
  Matt: That's what it is, though.
• 23:10
  Matt: We're over time now.
• 23:11
  Matt: So you want to say at minimum it has to be chugga chugga, chugga chugga, choo-choo.
• 23:16
  Matt: That's what you're saying.
• 23:17
  Eric: Yes, that is what I'm that yes.
• 23:19
  Eric: I assert this.
• 23:20
  Eric: I'm aware, you don't owe me shit.
• 23:23
  Eric: Like Yeah, I'm glad you're aware of that.
• 23:25
  Eric: You don't owe me a goddamn thing after what I've done to you.
• 23:28
  Eric: I I was just gonna say, rewind about 10 minutes and I'm not uh but I I respect you, so I'm not gonna like I'm not gonna front with you.
• 23:35
  Eric: Like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be like, oh no, I believe you, yeah, sure, chugga chug.
• 23:39
  Eric: Like be real with you.
• 23:41
  Matt: So okay, I'll give it to you.
• 23:43
  Matt: More than one chugga-chugga set.
• 23:46
  Eric: Okay.
• 23:46
  Eric: Yeah, no, that works.
• 23:49
  Matt: I don't personally subscribe to it, but I respect that.
• 23:52
  Matt: For for the sake of the conversation, it's done.
• 23:58
  Matt: That fast five got a little messy at the end.
• 24:00
  Matt: It got a little messy at the end.
• 24:00
  Matt: I think I think we can all admit that it got a little messy at the end.
• 24:03
  Matt: It's been a minute since we've done them.
• 24:04
  Matt: But uh, you know, and we were doing so well.
• 24:06
  Matt: We were doing so.
• 24:06
  Matt: Oh, we were doing so great.
• 24:07
  Eric: I feel like the first four and a half minutes, like three and a half minutes makes up for it.
• 24:11
  Matt: Uh I, you know, hopefully our listenership agrees.
• 24:14
  Matt: Oh, yeah, they will.
• 24:15
  Matt: Uh, so that's our fast five.
• 24:17
  Matt: Uh Eric, would you like to take us into our uh our already our last question of the day?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 24:23
  Eric: Yes.
• 24:24
  Eric: So this is from another one of my amazing idiot friends.
• 24:29
  Eric: And what is this idiot's name?
• 24:31
  Matt: T Coupe Deville.
• 24:33
  Matt: Let me ask you a question here.
• 24:34
  Matt: Yep.
• 24:35
  Matt: Where do you get friends?
• 24:37
  Matt: Glen Burney, Maryland.
• 24:39
  Matt: And where did the are you like a member of uh when you go to Glen Burney, is everybody in like a guys and dolls type universe down there?
• 24:48
  Matt: Like what's happening?
• 24:48
  Eric: Yeah, it's kinda like a lot of people walk around with toothpicks in their mouths and cabbie hats and like you know.
• 24:54
  Eric: A lot of toothpick guys down there.
• 24:55
  Eric: A lot of toothpick guys.
• 24:57
  Eric: That's why they that's why they can't use their real names.
• 25:00
  Eric: You have to you have to be ready with an alias at all times.
• 25:03
  Eric: I see.
• 25:04
  Eric: I'm gonna just tell you some things about T Coupe Deville.
• 25:06
  Eric: These are facts, and he won't get angry.
• 25:08
  Eric: Um Okay, I'm ready.
• 25:10
  Eric: He bought a yacht for a thousand dollars.
• 25:14
  Eric: That feels like too cheap for a yacht.
• 25:16
  Eric: And then gave it to our friend because he couldn't afford to take care of it anymore.
• 25:21
  Matt: I feel like a yacht doesn't cost a thousand dollars.
• 25:23
  Eric: It was a yacht by a very technical definition.
• 25:25
  Matt: Meaning it was a boat?
• 25:27
  Matt: Well Yeah.
• 25:29
  Matt: It sailed or at least floated.
• 25:35
  Eric: Okay.
• 25:36
  Eric: T Coupe Deville will text me at two in the morning telling me why he thinks that a certain Doom Metal album's motif is like equivalent intellectually to works of great literature, and I agree with him every single time based on what he gives me.
• 25:58
  Eric: T Coupe Deville and I once got a group of our friends together in a parking lot at night, brought boxing gloves, and just kind of punched each other because we were bored.
• 26:08
  Matt: Fascinating.
• 26:09
  Matt: Fascinating.
• 26:10
  Matt: Uh the life and times that you lead in Glenburnie, Maryland.
• 26:14
  Eric: Uh T Coup DeVille named his son, who was born, you know, this year, uh after a king of the Visigoths.
• 26:21
  Matt: Wow.
• 26:22
  Matt: He well, he I gotta say, T C Coupe does sound like a uh a learned man.
• 26:26
  Matt: Oh, most learned.
• 26:28
  Matt: A worldly soul will.
• 26:30
  Matt: And what question does he have for us, Eric?
• 26:32
  Eric: T Coup Deville asks, if cephalopods, for those of you not in the know, cephalopods here meaning octopi, squids, whole host of animals, tentacle things.
• 26:45
  Eric: If cephalopods had become the dominant creature on Earth, what would their civilization look like?
• 26:51
  Eric: Bonus question, what would be their calamari?
• 26:56
  Matt: Now what this it does seem like, Eric, people turn to us to answer what the world would be like after humanity.
• 27:04
  Matt: Oh, yeah, they want to know like we've done several questions in the apocalyptic realm.
• 27:09
  Eric: And mind you, I I I'll I'll say this.
• 27:11
  Eric: I don't think this question is positing that humanity fell, you know, and then octopi rose up.
• 27:20
  Eric: I think this is a what if they were no, what if they evolved faster instead?
• 27:28
  Eric: So, like, what if we we never got beyond, you know, living in trees and throwing our poop at each other, but cephalopods, they just they took off.
• 27:38
  Matt: I see.
• 27:38
  Matt: So you don't think this is something that could happen so much as you think this is something that is like an alternate universe.
• 27:45
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 27:45
  Matt: This is a multiverse situation we've got going on.
• 27:48
  Eric: Yeah, bro.
• 27:49
  Eric: Also, sorry, apropos of nothing, did you know all octopuses are venomous?
• 27:53
  Eric: Like all octopuses.
• 27:55
  Matt: I didn't know it.
• 27:56
  unknown: Yeah.
• 27:56
  Eric: I didn't know that.
• 27:57
  Eric: So octopi are, and I'm gonna keep saying octopi, but I'm extending this to most cephalopods.
• 28:02
  Eric: But octopi are the smartest ones, so they're most likely to, you know, kind of be the top of the top of the food chain here.
• 28:09
  Eric: Sure.
• 28:10
  Eric: Uh I they're insanely intelligent, they get bored very easily, and they love solving puzzles.
• 28:17
  Matt: And they can like fit in and out of the city.
• 28:19
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 28:20
  Matt: We've all seen the videos of them on a s like escaping a ship through a tiny little clock.
• 28:24
  Matt: 100%.
• 28:25
  Matt: They're crafty little guys.
• 28:26
  Eric: They're crafty little bastards.
• 28:28
  Matt: And they they're frequently predict Super Bowls and things.
• 28:31
  Matt: They're very intuitive.
• 28:32
  Matt: They seemingly have some sort of cosmic knowledge that we do not.
• 28:36
  Matt: So a cosmic knowledge that can only be found in the depths of the sea, perhaps.
• 28:40
  Eric: Yeah, I'm imagining like if they'd become dominant, and when I say dominant, like I'm a they have culture, right?
• 28:46
  Eric: They have art, they have industry.
• 28:49
  Matt: They they are the humans.
• 28:51
  Eric: They're the humans, but like, what is that?
• 28:54
  Eric: Like, what does that look like?
• 28:56
  Matt: Is this like a Davy Jones situation from Pirates of the Caribbean?
• 28:59
  Matt: Is this what they're doing?
• 28:59
  Eric: Like, is that what they look like?
• 29:00
  Eric: I I like to think, I don't even like to think they're bipedal.
• 29:03
  Eric: I'll I'm gonna go out with a hot take.
• 29:04
  Eric: Can I come in with a hot take?
• 29:06
  Matt: You always can.
• 29:06
  Eric: I don't think they ever leave the oceans.
• 29:09
  Eric: Uh interesting.
• 29:10
  Eric: I interesting.
• 29:11
  Eric: I think I think they make the land come to them.
• 29:14
  Matt: But okay, interesting.
• 29:16
  Matt: How do you think that happened?
• 29:17
  Eric: So, like, think well, think about it this way.
• 29:19
  Eric: Um, that's probably why they ended up being the dominant species and not us, because like a huge part of us becoming the dominant species did rely heavily on us leveraging the seas and like you know, fucking fishing and trade.
• 29:34
  Eric: That's why like you most most early civilizations, they're always gonna be found along coastlines, you know, waterways.
• 29:41
  Eric: Sure, yeah.
• 29:42
  Eric: Octopi control that we we never even get a lay, like they they break, they they see a couple of like primates, you know, like sitting along the shore with some fishing rods, they're gonna like they're just gonna pop out, beat us up real bad, and break our sticks.
• 29:57
  Matt: Like, but if they never uh attain the ability to conquer the land.
• 30:02
  Eric: Well, it's not they don't have the ability, I think they're racists.
• 30:06
  Eric: Like, I think they think that anything in like you don't see us, we're not living under the ocean.
• 30:11
  Eric: We're not like we don't all live in submarines going like, oh, we conquered the ocean.
• 30:14
  Eric: Like, we definitely conquered the ocean.
• 30:16
  Eric: I think they treat the land the way we treat the ocean now, in that it's a garbage.
• 30:23
  Matt: You really think that humans have conquered the ocean, knowing full well we haven't seen most of it?
• 30:29
  Eric: Okay, that's fair.
• 30:30
  Eric: Uh conquered is the wrong word.
• 30:32
  Eric: Uh heavily damaged.
• 30:34
  Eric: Oh, yeah, we've done that.
• 30:35
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 30:36
  Eric: We've done that real good.
• 30:37
  Eric: We've conquered the shit out of it.
• 30:39
  Eric: We conquered the whole planet that way.
• 30:41
  Eric: I think octopi treat the like because the land has nothing for them.
• 30:44
  Eric: The land only presents the ability to dry out and die or get eaten by birds.
• 30:49
  Matt: Or be fried and become a delicious appetizer.
• 30:51
  Matt: Yeah.
• 30:52
  Eric: Not even the full meal, just the appetizer.
• 30:55
  Eric: So I think I think octopi are gonna be super racist against land dwelling creatures.
• 31:00
  Eric: I think they're just gonna dump all their trash like on land.
• 31:04
  Eric: Um I think they can go out on land, like I, but I think it's gonna be almost like they're gonna need their equivalent of a submarine.
• 31:11
  Eric: Like it's it's like a big, just a big tube fill water.
• 31:14
  Matt: This is the I'm not suggesting this in appearance.
• 31:16
  Matt: I'm a sex I'm I'm only bringing this up as as like a uh as how their civilization might function.
• 31:23
  Matt: Sort of like an inverse gungan from episode one, the Phantom Mist.
• 31:28
  Matt: Yes.
• 31:28
  Matt: Where they don't need the air pods underground, under the water.
• 31:32
  Matt: They need like a water pod when they come to uh negotiate with the land dwellers.
• 31:38
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 31:39
  Matt: But when you when we go down there, we have to do the little breathing apparatus that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon does.
• 31:46
  Eric: And like we gotta go, yeah, dude.
• 31:49
  Eric: But but like I feel like, yeah, exactly what you said, like inverse Gungans.
• 31:53
  Eric: I like that you went there because like when they come up on land, like we're just gonna be, we're still gonna be idiots.
• 31:59
  Eric: So like we're not even gonna be smart.
• 32:00
  Eric: So like you're like, oh, hey, hey, poach, how you doing?
• 32:04
  Eric: I'll just like boss nas.
• 32:08
  Matt: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 32:09
  Eric: That's that's how I'm gonna communicate.
• 32:11
  Matt: But meanwhile, they're so they're talking to us like humans, whereas we are the like semi-racist stereotypes that the Gungans had.
• 32:19
  Matt: Is that what you're trying to say?
• 32:20
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 32:21
  Matt: Interesting.
• 32:22
  Matt: Yeah, interesting.
• 32:22
  Eric: Uh, I don't even think they'll communicate verb, like they definitely won't communicate verbally.
• 32:26
  Eric: I think a lot of their communication is going to be based purely on site because they can change colors and shit.
• 32:31
  Eric: And like they they're very they can distinguish a lot of different like no patterns and shit like that.
• 32:36
  Eric: They're they're insanely smart.
• 32:37
  Eric: So I think I think theirs will be like a super jumped up version of like Victorian fan etiquette, but the fans are their tentacles.
• 32:45
  Matt: Oh, interesting.
• 32:47
  Matt: So they they you you you mean to say they're bougie.
• 32:50
  Eric: Oh, their bougie is full.
• 32:52
  Eric: Interesting.
• 32:53
  Eric: Yeah, I think they're gonna be mad bougie because like I said, they get bored.
• 32:56
  Eric: I think their entire society is gonna be of like revolving around entertainment.
• 33:00
  Eric: It's gonna be a real like bread and circuses kind of down there.
• 33:04
  Matt: Why do you say entertainment?
• 33:05
  Matt: I'm curious.
• 33:06
  Matt: Like, because you were talking about how intellectual and and cultured you feel they are.
• 33:10
  Matt: Why would you think it's solely around because you could say a lot of well, certainly Americans, I think our culture survives or thrives around the entertainment industry.
• 33:22
  Matt: Not all human civilizations do, but I feel like a lot of the West does for sure.
• 33:26
  Matt: Sports, movies, etc., TV.
• 33:29
  Eric: Yeah, I feel like the vibe I get from cephalopods isn't so much like they're insanely intelligent, but I don't think that intelligent lends itself to like philosophy.
• 33:40
  Eric: I don't think an octopus is going to be sitting around like, like, oh, what is my purpose?
• 33:46
  Eric: I think the octopus is gonna be like, Dog, I got like eight hands and I don't even know what to do with them.
• 33:51
  Eric: I'm so bored.
• 33:54
  Eric: Like you read all the time, like there's that one octopus that escaped from that aquarium like 10 times is because it's bored.
• 34:00
  Matt: So this they you don't picture them as the squid words of no, no, no, no.
• 34:05
  Eric: I think the tortured artists, they're like the um LMFAO of the ocean.
• 34:13
  Eric: They're party rocking on the seabed tonight.
• 34:15
  Matt: And they can't, they but they can't get enough.
• 34:18
  Matt: They're their thirst for the party rock can never be quenched.
• 34:21
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 34:22
  Eric: I think it's a very like dance like nobody's watching kind of civilization because also like you think about octopi, like mama octopi, where they give birth, they just die.
• 34:31
  Eric: That's rough.
• 34:32
  Eric: That's rough.
• 34:33
  Eric: Like they just die.
• 34:34
  Eric: That's rough.
• 34:35
  Eric: So I think it's it's I think it's gonna be a matriarchal society focused entirely around party rocking and just just getting as much of that good, good octopus squish fucking in as possible before you babies and die.
• 34:56
  Matt: So okay, so I think I think we have something here that in this, if they had become the dominant species, they've created a water first type culture, certainly for themselves.
• 35:08
  Matt: Uh that occasionally they'll come up and deal with us for political treaties and this and the like.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 35:15
  Matt: Uh but do we want to tackle the bonus question?
• 35:19
  Eric: What is their calamari?
• 35:21
  Matt: What is their calamari?
• 35:22
  Eric: And as we know, calamare is uh is a is a traditional uh Italian American restaurant dish uh where it's is just it is battered and fried squid.
• 35:34
  Eric: Yes.
• 35:34
  Matt: Um or or battered and fried something.
• 35:38
  Eric: Battered and fried something, yeah.
• 35:40
  Eric: That's the question.
• 35:41
  Matt: I I I think we it's safe to say we've all probably had calamari that probably wasn't, you know.
• 35:46
  Eric: Oh, probably.
• 35:47
  Eric: So it just it just wasn't.
• 35:49
  Matt: It just wasn't.
• 35:50
  Matt: Yeah.
• 35:50
  Eric: What it was, I don't think we should concern ourselves with.
• 35:53
  Eric: No.
• 35:54
  Eric: So what would be their calamari?
• 35:56
  Eric: What would be that like, you know, that little that little a little exotic, but also very safe because it's it's fried.
• 36:04
  Matt: Um it well it'd have to be a so it has to be some sort of land animal.
• 36:08
  Eric: It has to be some sort of land animal.
• 36:09
  Eric: Uh I feel like we put a like we gotta you gotta think about it from our perspective because like the reason we have so much calamari is squid are just they just kind of they just they just float right into it.
• 36:18
  Eric: They just they just come to us.
• 36:20
  Eric: Like we just pick them up and take them with us.
• 36:23
  Eric: I think it'll have something to do, like something some kind of land animal we can just catch passively.
• 36:30
  Eric: I think it might have to do with like some kind of squirrel.
• 36:33
  Eric: I was also kind of thinking squirrel.
• 36:37
  Matt: Size comparison feels like a little too too big, right?
• 36:40
  Matt: Because Kaomari, you know, small.
• 36:43
  Eric: Well, I mean, we all gotta think octopi could probably like I don't know how much octopi can eat.
• 36:49
  Eric: Probably a lot, probably a fucking lot.
• 36:51
  Eric: I feel like they're one of those we eat a whole bunch at once because you know we get one shot at it.
• 36:56
  Matt: I I would say A chipmunk is smaller than a squirrel.
• 36:59
  Matt: We could go that route.
• 37:01
  Matt: We could go insects, we could go insects.
• 37:04
  Eric: Insects might be interesting.
• 37:05
  Eric: Cicadas could be real delicacy at that point.
• 37:10
  Matt: Ooh, the cicade, yes.
• 37:12
  Matt: The cicade?
• 37:13
  Matt: If they perhaps this is in the same universe with the script.
• 37:16
  Matt: Bro, you know it is.
• 37:17
  Eric: Like, you know, I've been hinting at that.
• 37:19
  Eric: You know I've been like angling for that.
• 37:20
  Eric: You know, I just I I did that thing where like at the end of a completely relate unrelated movie, I threw in like a post-credit scene.
• 37:27
  Eric: I was like, what?
• 37:28
  Eric: This was a sequel to oh my god, this is an unbreakable sequel?
• 37:31
  Matt: Yeah, we didn't know.
• 37:33
  Matt: We didn't know all the way along that we were gonna get the watcher in this segment.
• 37:38
  Matt: And by the way, just as a little teaser for episode 41, the watcher might be coming back.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 37:46
  Matt: You just uh you just hold on to your butts there.
• 37:49
  Matt: I kind of like the but the cicade, yeah, they come up for either cicade, but in in non-cicada times, maybe they settle for flies?
• 37:58
  Eric: Flies, yeah.
• 38:00
  Eric: Crickets, crickets, crickets.
• 38:02
  Eric: Who I like.
• 38:02
  Eric: I feel like crickets are gonna be like the steamed crabs, they get those all year, but then like the cicadas.
• 38:07
  Eric: I'd try for lobster.
• 38:08
  Matt: I'll say it.
• 38:09
  Matt: I'd I'd try a fried cricket.
• 38:10
  Eric: I'd try I'd try a fried cricket.
• 38:11
  Eric: Try a fried cricket, I try a fried cricket.
• 38:12
  Eric: It's good enough for Zephilipods, good enough for me.
• 38:14
  Eric: I would think so.
• 38:16
  Eric: Yeah.
• 38:16
  Matt: They've got those big heads.
• 38:17
  Matt: Yeah.
• 38:18
  Matt: They know what's up, they can predict the Super Bowl.
• 38:20
  Eric: That would be the dominant sexual trait, like head shape.
• 38:25
  Eric: We don't know what kind, like, I don't know what the fashions are gonna be.
• 38:28
  Eric: They're gonna fluctuate.
• 38:29
  Matt: Who are we to put that upon a civilization that we can't even understand?
• 38:33
  Eric: No, can't understand.
• 38:35
  Matt: We can't swim with those fishes.
• 38:36
  Eric: No.
• 38:37
  Matt: Not that they're not fish.
• 38:38
  Matt: They're not fish.
• 38:39
  Matt: No, no, no, they're cephalopods.
• 38:41
  Matt: I think we've made that very abundantly clear.
• 38:42
  Matt: I think we've answered the fish.
• 38:43
  Matt: I think we've answered the question.
• 38:44
  Matt: I think we've done it very well.
• 38:45
  Matt: Uh and so, Eric, in celebration of our 40th episode, uh entering a new a new batch of 10, if you will.
• 38:53
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 38:54
  Matt: I think we should return to uh a a segment that we haven't done in a little bit of time.
• 39:02
  Matt: Okay.
• 39:02
  Matt: We should answer some personal questions, Eric.
• 39:05
  Eric: Personal questions.
• 39:07
  Matt: Personal questions.
• 39:08
  Eric: Sat in your hatches, it's about to get real.
• 39:10
  Matt: It's about to get, you know, the these are not questions of the world.
• 39:14
  Matt: These are just questions about us.
• 39:16
  Eric: Questions about us, about our lives, about what we do.
• 39:18
  Matt: The first one, once again, uh, for the second time today, comes from at Alex Cavarakis on Instagram, who asks, Were you known on the playground for being the best at a certain game?
• 39:30
  Matt: I don't to be honest, I think I can be honest with myself, Eric.
• 39:34
  Matt: I don't know.
• 39:34
  Matt: I don't think so.
• 39:35
  Matt: Depends on what's we're talking like four square, we're talking basketball, we're talking about the game.
• 39:40
  Eric: If it's if it's it hold on, let me let me just verify.
• 39:44
  Eric: Uh yeah, if they're using the phrasing playground, we can count any childhood game.
• 39:50
  Matt: What about if you and a friend who had recently discovered the film Back to the Future uh would reenact this film on the mulch-covered uh uh oasis of the playground?
• 40:04
  Matt: If we count that as a game, then I was very good at it.
• 40:07
  Eric: I mean, they call it the playground.
• 40:10
  Matt: Play comes first, it does it not.
• 40:12
  Eric: It does.
• 40:13
  Eric: So I I think I absolutely count that.
• 40:15
  Eric: The fact that you started the acting game, like you started that hustle so early.
• 40:21
  Eric: I'm I'm basically thespis.
• 40:23
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:24
  Eric: Yeah, oh absolutely, okay.
• 40:27
  Eric: Yeah, no, that was I would absolutely equate that with you know the the creation of drama, yes.
• 40:33
  Eric: The father of of what we call modern theater, uh thespus.
• 40:37
  Matt: Of all performance, one one might say, yes.
• 40:39
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:39
  Eric: The man who pioneered uh majoring in getting attention.
• 40:44
  Matt: Yes, absolutely he did.
• 40:48
  Matt: He was the first person to earn a living rolling around on the floor.
• 40:51
  Eric: I would absolutely equate you to that man reenacting, you know, Back to the Future on the Playground.
• 40:56
  Eric: Would you now would you dress the part or would you like did you have a little as Marty McFly?
• 41:03
  Eric: Because of course you're Marty McFly.
• 41:04
  Matt: No, we're the these were mostly spur of the moments, but we did basically go line for line, me and and this is true, a friend named Eric.
• 41:13
  Matt: Oh that is true.
• 41:15
  Matt: That is absolutely true.
• 41:16
  Matt: I can't even make it up.
• 41:17
  Matt: I've said it once and I'll say it again.
• 41:19
  Matt: I know too many god too many Eric Erics.
• 41:21
  Eric: Too many Erics.
• 41:23
  Eric: Uh for me, no, I was I well, it depends on how we're defining not so much how we're defining the best at, it's best for who.
• 41:32
  Eric: Okay.
• 41:33
  Eric: Because I was often chosen, or I was often uh what's the word?
• 41:41
  Eric: Strategically placed on dodgeball sides because whatever side I was on of dodgeball, the other team knew they were gonna win because they just had ba bam, easy target.
• 41:56
  Eric: You are a bit of an easy target.
• 41:58
  Matt: Now I was pretty good at dodgeball.
• 42:00
  Matt: Uh, I have to say.
• 42:02
  Matt: The and uh part of the reason I think I was is because this this might come as a shock to you.
• 42:07
  Matt: I once had a gym teacher uh accuse me of saying that everything, all of my all of my moves, all of my uh technique in in sports, in the games that we would play, were and I I know this might sound out of character, okay, but they said that I was often just being dramatic.
• 42:32
  Matt: And I don't I don't know, does that scan for you?
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 42:39
  Matt: I just played hard.
• 42:40
  Matt: You know what I'm saying?
• 42:41
  Matt: I live hard, I play hard.
• 42:42
  Matt: If we're playing a game, I'm gonna fucking win it, baby.
• 42:45
  Eric: I you but you broke the crazy eyes out on them, didn't you?
• 42:48
  Eric: I like I could see your little your little little mat Matt face just like with that with the fuck when you get the the eyes.
• 42:54
  Matt: I'm just saying, oh, you know what was getting?
• 42:56
  Matt: Did you ever play this game?
• 42:57
  Matt: I uh it probably goes by like a million different names.
• 42:59
  Matt: We called it very insensitively Titanic.
• 43:01
  Matt: Did you ever play this game?
• 43:02
  Matt: No, what's Titanic?
• 43:03
  Matt: So this is this is a gym class game.
• 43:05
  Matt: This is not a playground game.
• 43:06
  Matt: This was be a thing.
• 43:08
  Matt: You know those little scooter death traps?
• 43:09
  Matt: You know, they've got the little booty scoots.
• 43:12
  Matt: The little booty scoots.
• 43:13
  Matt: Little booty scoots.
• 43:14
  Matt: So the little booty scoots, so that it'd be in the gym, it'd be across like a basketball court, they'd put out some uh uh hula hoops as icebergs or islands or whatever, and you needed to get via jump ropes and these little scooters from one side of the gym to the other side, like you had to get everybody there.
• 43:35
  Matt: You only had so many resources.
• 43:37
  Matt: I was so good at this, Eric.
• 43:40
  Matt: I was so good at this, but I would also have to be, I would have to be like a I would put myself in like a hero slot of being like, no, no, I will push.
• 43:51
  Matt: We're down to our last scooter.
• 43:53
  Matt: I will push you for forward and you will send it back to me.
• 43:57
  Matt: And if I don't catch it, I Will die, but you will survive.
• 44:04
  Matt: These are the strategies I employed.
• 44:06
  Matt: And again, they accused me of being I, the thespis of the playground.
• 44:11
  Matt: This is like they accused of dramatic play.
• 44:14
  Eric: We're just writing, we're pitching squid game.
• 44:21
  Eric: This is season two.
• 44:22
  Eric: This is season two.
• 44:23
  Eric: This is the plot of season two.
• 44:25
  Matt: Wow, we've really done it now.
• 44:28
  Matt: So not not everybody universally played Titanic?
• 44:32
  Matt: No, but I love that.
• 44:34
  Eric: I kind of wish I did.
• 44:34
  Eric: We were huge on It was fun, man.
• 44:36
  Eric: It was fun as shit.
• 44:38
  Eric: We were huge on uh parachute game booty scoots.
• 44:42
  Eric: Um oh parachute game.
• 44:44
  Eric: I say game, like there was no game.
• 44:46
  Eric: It was just no, it was just raising the thing up.
• 44:48
  Eric: Yeah, it was just raising the fucking thing up.
• 44:50
  Eric: Um we played a lot of dodgeball.
• 44:53
  Eric: I got I uh they were merciless.
• 44:55
  Matt: You must have been mercilessly pounded.
• 44:58
  Matt: I was the biggest target, and um, and I'm completely unconscious.
• 45:01
  Matt: I don't doubt it.
• 45:02
  Matt: I do not doubt it.
• 45:03
  Matt: Um, so I there we go.
• 45:05
  Matt: I think we make of that what you will.
• 45:08
  Matt: Were we the best?
• 45:09
  Matt: You be the judge.
• 45:11
  Eric: Maybe that's how we have to end each one of those questions.
• 45:13
  Eric: You be the judge.
• 45:14
  Eric: Uh all right, what's our next question?
• 45:16
  Eric: Our next question, this is sent in by my friend Holly.
• 45:19
  Eric: If you two were members of a pirate crew, what would your jobs be?
• 45:25
  Eric: What would you steal?
• 45:27
  Eric: Would your crew have a theme or gimmick?
• 45:30
  Matt: Well, how how what kiss met it is that we began with my pirate pants?
• 45:35
  Eric: Yeah, fucking PJ pirate pants over here.
• 45:38
  Matt: I think that I know myself I I I actually don't think if I was casting myself on a pirate crew.
• 45:45
  Matt: I I I know I just said I'd be in the hero role uh for in the in the Titanic rescue game, but I don't think I'm gonna put myself as like a captain.
• 45:54
  Matt: I think I'm more of a first mate type situation.
• 45:58
  Eric: Absolutely first mate, first mate.
• 46:00
  Matt: I think I'm I think like I I I would fall into a lieutenant type of role where people answer to me, but I I can perhaps I can be at the head of the mutiny, maybe.
• 46:11
  Eric: Yeah.
• 46:12
  Eric: Okay.
• 46:13
  Eric: Um I'm in that kind of position.
• 46:15
  Eric: Me personally, it's not an official position per se, but I do, and this is just like like my dreams and aspirations here.
• 46:27
  Eric: I want to be the old salty sea dog who sit like you never see him working, but like when you go to approach him like at like like sunset or some shit, and like he's just staring off into like his gazing off into the yeah over the waves.
• 46:42
  Eric: I I want to be the guy that like I call it.
• 46:45
  Eric: Like, I'm the one who calls it.
• 46:46
  Eric: When we're cursed, I call it.
• 46:48
  Eric: Like, I'm the one who's like his ship is cursed.
• 46:52
  Eric: Bad luck to kill a seabird.
• 46:55
  Eric: Like, that's what I want my job to be.
• 46:57
  Eric: I just want to be there to tell them when they have done something that will result in us getting fucked over by fate or destiny.
• 47:04
  Matt: And then, but so you're the person that I like would as the first mate am constantly uh maybe people are bringing you know, I was going to say that I'm haranguing you to need to get you to do work, but perhaps it's the opposite.
• 47:18
  Matt: Perhaps people are constantly saying, you know, olaric over there ain't doing shit, he ain't scrubbing anything.
• 47:26
  Matt: What are we gonna do?
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll be like, listen to me, you don't know what that man's been through.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: You don't talk to him.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_03: If he talks to you, you consider yourself lucky.
• 47:36
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:37
  Eric: And I'll like I'll have like a weekly rotation of what I decide is karst that week.
• 47:43
  Eric: Bananas like one week it's killing albatross.
• 47:45
  Eric: Yeah, next week, limes.
• 47:47
  Eric: Can't have them.
• 47:48
  Eric: No limes.
• 47:49
  Matt: Next week it's it's whoever we threw off the plank that week.
• 47:52
  Matt: We you know that curse.
• 47:55
  Matt: Oh, you know, oh, you're saying he was mad carst.
• 47:59
  Matt: Oh, and but now we are cars for throwing it.
• 48:01
  Matt: Okay, just and then eventually we all catch on to the fact that the real curse is, of course, you all along.
• 48:08
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 48:08
  Matt: And perhaps we then throw you overboard.
• 48:11
  Eric: Oh, but how are you gonna do that when I threaten to cursel ye?
• 48:16
  Eric: Ah, that's how he gets us every time.
• 48:18
  Eric: It's it's like the best con.
• 48:20
  Matt: And then we just say, ah, leave him be, leave him be.
• 48:24
  Matt: Alright.
• 48:24
  Matt: I think these suit us both equally well.
• 48:26
  Eric: Oh, also, would my crew have a gimmick or a theme?
• 48:29
  Eric: Come the fuck on, obviously.
• 48:31
  Eric: Like, there's no world in which I'm not doing themed gangs.
• 48:35
  Eric: I just want to theme.
• 48:38
  Eric: Theme I think like a like a Grecian, like a like a Neo-Grecian like kind of wash.
• 48:49
  Eric: What?
• 48:50
  Eric: With with with Greco-Roman overtones.
• 48:54
  Eric: Wow.
• 48:55
  Eric: Um like our mast is like a like a marble column.
• 48:59
  Eric: Your mast is a marble column.
• 49:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:03
  Eric: Interesting.
• 49:03
  Eric: And this you're still you're still on a boat, though, right?
• 49:07
  Eric: Oh, 100% on a boat.
• 49:09
  Eric: With a marble column?
• 49:11
  Eric: Yeah, fine, fine, damn fine marble.
• 49:14
  Eric: Interesting.
• 49:16
  Eric: Um it seems heavy.
• 49:18
  Matt: Oh, it's super heavy.
• 49:20
  Matt: It seems sinkable, yeah?
• 49:23
  Matt: No.
• 49:24
  Matt: No.
• 49:25
  Matt: Is the rest of the boat made out of marble somehow?
• 49:27
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 49:28
  Eric: But it floats though.
• 49:29
  Eric: But it floats, though.
• 49:30
  Eric: It's a giant rock.
• 49:32
  Eric: Grecian fire, how'd they do it?
• 49:34
  Eric: Who knows?
• 49:35
  Eric: Grecian marble boats, how'd they float?
• 49:38
  Eric: Who can say?
• 49:40
  Matt: Wow, what a what it feels like we took a dive into the the philosophy of the insane clown posse there for a hot second.
• 49:48
  Matt: Whoop whoop.
• 49:50
  Matt: Wonderful.
• 49:51
  Matt: I'm so glad we're engaging that community.
• 49:54
  Matt: Uh, so let's leave the juggalos behind and move on to our last one.
• 49:59
  Matt: Oh, but this one, Erica, actually, this one just comes from you.
• 50:02
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 50:03
  Eric: This is a thought I had at like 2 a.m.
• 50:05
  Eric: I love them.
• 50:06
  Eric: Uh, Matt, what is the subject of your controversial yet so brave TED talk?
• 50:13
  Eric: And to be clear, this also ties in with like, we we did get other questions along this line where like like people asking, what is your like most controversial, non-offensive opinion?
• 50:21
  Matt: Uh I think I've established by this point, Eric, that I have strong beliefs about things that ultimately probably don't matter, but indeed do matter quite a bit.
• 50:32
  Matt: You could have just ended that after things.
• 50:36
  Matt: I'm sorry, did you just did episode 40 become the episode where you just wanted to drag my name through the mud?
• 50:44
  Eric: No, I respect no, you that's one of the things I most love about you is that if a thing exists, I know you have an opinion about it.
• 50:54
  Eric: Thank you.
• 50:54
  Eric: And like, you you're you have the most conviction of any human being I've ever met.
• 51:01
  Eric: Thank thank you.
• 51:02
  Eric: It's a conviction I wish I felt for goddamn anything.
• 51:07
  Matt: Someone finally gets it.
• 51:10
  Matt: Someone finally gets my righteous indignation.
• 51:13
  Matt: So that said.
• 51:15
  Eric: If I had to pick up my fellow, my fellow say it.
• 51:20
  Eric: My fellow white man.
• 51:21
  Eric: Yes.
• 51:24
  Eric: What is your non-offensive, controversial yet so brave opinion?
• 51:29
  Matt: I'm sure I have better ones if I'm being honest, but the first one that jumped to mind because I hinted at it in a pr in I think the last episode.
• 51:38
  Matt: You have hot dogs.
• 51:40
  Matt: You have hamburgers or cheeseburgers.
• 51:43
  Matt: Okay.
• 51:44
  Matt: You've got ketchup and you've got mustard.
• 51:47
  Matt: Those things don't mix.
• 51:49
  Matt: Ketchup goes on hamburgers, and mustard goes on hot dogs, and they do not cross streams to one another.
• 52:01
  Matt: You don't put ketchup on a hot dog, and you don't put mustard on a hamburger, and this is how I've lived my life, and I I I could produce slides on it.
• 52:10
  Matt: Yes, I could.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 52:12
  Matt: I think I could.
• 52:13
  Matt: That could be something I present at a slide game, as we talked about last episode.
• 52:17
  Eric: Okay.
• 52:17
  Eric: And I'd fucking like, I like, I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it kind of deal.
• 52:22
  Eric: Like, if any like if anyone tried to get in your face about that, I'd be on.
• 52:26
  Matt: You'd watch my presentation.
• 52:27
  Eric: Oh, I'd watch your presentation.
• 52:28
  Eric: I'd ask questions.
• 52:29
  Eric: I'd ask meaningful questions.
• 52:31
  Matt: I will not be accepting any.
• 52:32
  Eric: Okay.
• 52:33
  Eric: I respect that.
• 52:33
  Eric: Interesting.
• 52:34
  Eric: I respect that.
• 52:35
  Eric: Controversial, yet so brave.
• 52:36
  Matt: What is your controversial yet so brave title?
• 52:39
  Eric: Oh um.
• 52:41
  Eric: Hold on.
• 52:41
  Eric: I'm I'm deciding between Oh, you've got so many.
• 52:44
  Eric: I've got so I've got so so so so.
• 52:46
  Eric: You've got them to choose from.
• 52:47
  Matt: You've got a breath of options.
• 52:49
  Eric: I've just got so many.
• 52:50
  Eric: Oh, actually, here's here's mine.
• 52:53
  Eric: And this is something I very firmly believe in.
• 52:56
  Eric: I hope so.
• 52:57
  Eric: That's the ass.
• 52:57
  Eric: Uh, and this what's wild is this may be controversial among a certain group for the exact same reason it might not be controversial among the exact same group.
• 53:09
  Eric: I see.
• 53:09
  Eric: Uh a lot of theater historians and and lovers of theater and actors are not going to like what I have to say.
• 53:18
  Matt: Oh, interesting.
• 53:19
  Matt: Some of them might, though.
• 53:20
  Matt: All right.
• 53:20
  Matt: I'm bracing myself.
• 53:22
  Eric: I very firmly believe that requiring children to read Shakespeare in middle and high school is the dumbest fucking thing on the planet.
• 53:36
  Eric: We never should have done it.
• 53:38
  Matt: Now that is an interesting opinion.
• 53:40
  Matt: That is legitimately interesting.
• 53:41
  Matt: Why do you feel this way?
• 53:42
  Eric: And it is not because I don't think they should be exposed to Shakespeare.
• 53:48
  Eric: I assumed as much.
• 53:49
  Eric: What I think is that we have an art form that was purely auditary, uh-huh.
• 53:57
  Eric: Auditory.
• 53:58
  Matt: I'm with you.
• 54:00
  Eric: For hut for like it was meant to be seen and heard, and then we said, that's dope.
• 54:08
  Eric: Let's transcribe it and make children read the words on paper.
• 54:14
  Eric: I think it's the dumbest fucking shit ever.
• 54:17
  Eric: That would be like if we wanted to teach kids about like Salvador Dolly or fucking an artist, and we just wrote out essays describing what they were seeing in the painting.
• 54:28
  Matt: I don't disagree with your point here because as a theater artist who reads many, many scripts, I can say I don't like reading plays.
• 54:39
  Eric: I hate reading plays.
• 54:40
  Matt: And you want to know why?
• 54:42
  Matt: Because they're not meant to be read like a book.
• 54:45
  Matt: There are so many people who refer to Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet as books.
• 54:51
  Eric: As books, as works of literature.
• 54:53
  Eric: I'm like, dog, they are neither of those things.
• 54:56
  Matt: They are works of drama.
• 54:57
  Matt: I mean, I suppose you could call the scripts themselves literature, I guess, in the grand sense, but I think it's a little bit of a stretch.
• 55:05
  Matt: And I do think that middle school, especially, is too early.
• 55:09
  Eric: It's too early.
• 55:09
  Eric: I'm like, what we should You're not gonna get it.
• 55:11
  Eric: No, and what we should be doing, what we should have been doing this whole time, is like you want to teach about Shakespeare, take the kids to go see Shakespeare.
• 55:20
  Matt: I think the first step needs to be viewing Shakespeare.
• 55:23
  Eric: Like, just go see a play.
• 55:25
  Eric: Don't worry about don't like teach them anything beforehand.
• 55:29
  Eric: Like they're like, you'd be shocked how much of this, because I used to teach Shakespeare outreach to middle and high schoolers, and you'd be shocked how much of this stuff the kids get because it's almost like it was written and designed to be understood by damn near anyone because it was written as entertainment for the poor people.
• 55:51
  Matt: It's very you know, there are things, there are jokes that you don't get when you read when you read it, and it's like a forced thing, right?
• 55:59
  Eric: Yeah, oh absolutely.
• 56:00
  Matt: You don't as because then you force people to read things out loud in the classroom, which again I was very into, but other people were not.
• 56:09
  Matt: You know, I was happy to fulfill all the roles over and over again.
• 56:14
  Matt: Be Hamlet and then be John Proctor and all these other parts that no one else wanted to read because they didn't want to get into it.
• 56:21
  Matt: And by the way, no one matched my energy.
• 56:23
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 56:24
  Eric: No one fucking that is I was working with pedestrians, Eric.
• 56:28
  Eric: I dye a little on the inside every time a teacher's like, all right, I'm gonna pick children to have to be the parts.
• 56:34
  Eric: And I'm like, Yes.
• 56:36
  Eric: Or we could just watch Romeo plus Juliet starring the amazing John Legwizamo as Tibble.
• 56:43
  Eric: We could.
• 56:44
  Eric: We could do that.
• 56:45
  Eric: I would much rather watch Johnny Legs do that part any fucking day than like snot-nosed Billy behind me.
• 56:52
  Matt: Throwing on uh David Tennant Hamlet is Oh my god.
• 56:57
  Matt: Other than the fact that they completely cut off the ending of the play, other than that, that is such a great adaptation.
• 57:03
  Eric: Helen Mirrin as Prospero?
• 57:05
  Eric: Are you kidding me?
• 57:08
  Matt: We have the technology.
• 57:09
  Eric: We have the technology right there.
• 57:12
  Matt: I agree.
• 57:13
  Matt: I agree.
• 57:16
  Eric: The only time a child should be reading Shakespeare is if they are in a production of Shakespeare, they have to memorize their lines.
• 57:22
  Matt: Or it's like a Shakespeare class, perhaps, uh, in high school, like uh an AP type.
• 57:27
  Eric: You need that shit should be opt-in.
• 57:30
  Matt: Yes, yes, I agree.
• 57:31
  Matt: But there and I but I will say I do think it's important to get the exposure there, but the exposure should be the way it's supposed to be, which is you go see a fucking play.
• 57:41
  Matt: Go see a fucking play.
• 57:42
  Matt: Go watch it.
• 57:43
  Matt: You don't even necessarily have to start with Shakespeare.
• 57:46
  Matt: Bring them to a local production of the odd couple and go from there.
• 57:50
  Eric: Start with Oscar Wilde, work your way back.
• 57:54
  Matt: I mean, Oscar Wilde fairly back already in some sense.
• 57:58
  Eric: Relatively speaking.
• 57:59
  Matt: Sure, here from the year 2022.
• 58:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 58:03
  Matt: But uh absolutely, absolutely.
• 58:05
  Matt: And then and then just expose them to the thing so they understand what's going on, and then maybe, just maybe, they will want to read the parts in the classroom.
• 58:15
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: What are we doing?
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 58:19
  Eric: Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
• 58:21
  Matt: You yeah, and I want to say you really one-uped my TED Talk.
• 58:24
  Matt: I thought we were going, you know, I was going for like a silly bit.
• 58:27
  Matt: You came in with like a real topic, and I am so proud of you.
• 58:31
  Matt: Thank you.
• 58:33
  Matt: I wouldn't be though if you put ketchup on a hot dog, though.
• 58:35
  Matt: Okay, no, I got you.
• 58:37
  Matt: And your life.
• 58:38
  Matt: Um, but those are the uh those are some controversial, yet so brave TED Talks, I think.
• 58:45
  Matt: And I think, Eric, I think that'll about do it for our personal questions this episode, and indeed the 40th episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 58:56
  Matt: Um, so we do need some questions, of course, always.
• 59:00
  Matt: We want to hear your thoughts.
• 59:01
  Matt: Yeah.
• 59:02
  Matt: We want to know what you need answered.
• 59:05
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 59:07
  Matt: You can send those questions, those least pressing questions of yours to us at you didn't ask for this, gmail.com or at you didn't ask pod.
• 59:15
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.
• 59:19
  Matt: It's all the same handle.
• 59:21
  Matt: You can tweet us, you can DM us, you can call it in, and we might play your voicemail on the show if you call us on the thought line.
• 59:33
  Matt: You're just gonna do this every time, aren't you?
• 59:35
  Matt: Do what?
• 59:36
  Matt: Call it the thought line.
• 59:37
  Matt: You know what?
• 59:38
  Matt: I can't, I can't go down this path.
• 59:39
  Matt: Call us at 410-929-5329 and leave us a message.
• 59:46
  Matt: That doesn't even be a question, it could be just a penny for your thoughts.
• 59:50
  Eric: Yeah, you can just you can say whatever the fuck.
• 59:51
  Eric: We can't stop you.
• 59:53
  Matt: Just start talking and maybe we'll play it on the show.
• 59:56
  Matt: Yeah.
• 59:57
  Matt: But you know, if it's a question, we'll answer it.
• 59:59
  Matt: Of course, that helps.
• 1:00:00
  Matt: That always helps.
• 1:00:00
  Matt: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:02
  Matt: Uh, what what else?
• 1:00:03
  Matt: But anything else, Eric, I'm forgetting here.
• 1:00:05
  Eric: But I got uh, oh, I can't remember if I if if I announced this last time.
• 1:00:09
  Eric: I know uh a while back I promoted a Who's Roll show happening.
• 1:00:14
  Matt: Um you did, you talked about this in the last episode as well.
• 1:00:17
  Eric: But I'm also happy to announce I can't remember if I if I said this last time, and if I did, I'm just gonna say it again, snare y'all in.
• 1:00:24
  Eric: Um, we have, after long last, finally started releasing all the recordings of the episodes of Who's Roll we have recorded.
• 1:00:31
  Eric: We appreciate we're sitting on like hours and hours and hours and hours of content that's just been in a drive.
• 1:00:37
  Eric: Um, it's now solely being released.
• 1:00:39
  Eric: So if you go to Facebook, uh search Whose Roll is it anyway?
• 1:00:43
  Eric: That is the name of my improvised DD show podcasting that we do.
• 1:00:48
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:00:49
  Eric: Uh yeah, as as episodes release, we're gonna be releasing them every two weeks.
• 1:00:52
  Eric: Uh and as shows release, check them out.
• 1:00:55
  Eric: They're a good time.
• 1:00:57
  Matt: You get a double dose of poach, you know.
• 1:00:59
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:00
  Matt: Double dose of poach.
• 1:01:01
  Matt: Are you on are you on opposite two-week schedules from your daft, or is it same week?
• 1:01:06
  Matt: I believe it is opposite.
• 1:01:08
  Matt: Oh, that's nice.
• 1:01:09
  Matt: That you get a poach every week.
• 1:01:11
  Matt: You get that poach every week.
• 1:01:13
  Matt: Poach the poach.
• 1:01:14
  Matt: Poach the poach.
• 1:01:15
  Matt: Now, uh, anything else, Eric, you'd like to promote?
• 1:01:18
  Matt: Not a goddamn thing.
• 1:01:20
  Matt: All right.
• 1:01:20
  Matt: Well, then that'll about do it for this episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:01:25
  Matt: From all of us here, my name is Matt Shea.
• 1:01:28
  Eric: My name's Eric Poach.
• 1:01:29
  Eric: And listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:01:32
  Eric: But do you know how octopi breed?
• 1:01:36
  Eric: I sure I don't.
• 1:01:37
  Eric: Here's how it goes.
• 1:01:39
  Eric: So what what the male does, the the boy octopus decides I won't make babies.
• 1:01:46
  Eric: So he he you know, he I'm trying to think of a nice way of saying ejaculates into his own hand, but that's what he does.
• 1:01:53
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:01:54
  Eric: So he's like holding, he's holding the the baby the little baby juice in his goo.
• 1:01:59
  Eric: And he goes up and presents this to a a potential mate.
• 1:02:05
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 1:02:06
  Matt: Look at this.
• 1:02:07
  Eric: Who will do one of two things?
• 1:02:09
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 1:02:09
  Eric: She'll either like just take it and stuff it right up inside her, just say, like, say, all right, let's let's let's see how this goes.
• 1:02:18
  Eric: Or if she wants to see if she has better options, she probably does.
• 1:02:23
  Eric: What she can do is take the offering and slather it on her face, kind of like keep it for later, just smears it around.
• 1:02:30
  Eric: She's like, Oh, if I change my mind, I can just all right.
• 1:02:33
  Eric: And uh yeah.