Latest / Be the Bison / Finding Strength When your Greatest Fear Becomes Reality
Transcript
- Andrew Rauch: So ⁓ before we jump into it, ⁓ you I had chance to connect ⁓ maybe about a year ago. ⁓ both of us ⁓ kind have this little passion of mentoring and coaching, and that's how we originally connected. So you know, would you describe ⁓ kind of a little bit about yourself, kind of where you've been, ⁓ where you are and where you head? Brent Flory: Sure. Well, ⁓ it's great to be with you. First off, Andrew, thanks for having me on your podcast. so my name is Brent Flory, ⁓ I'm a story brand certified coach ⁓ ⁓ founder of Anchor Point Coaching and Consulting. And what I do today, ⁓ it actually really was shaped ⁓ my time as a clinical counselor, ⁓ my counseling private practice ⁓ COVID. ⁓ never a better time you would think to start a counseling practice. however, I found it to be really frustrating. ⁓ not previously having ⁓ business background. ⁓ I just found it really difficult to found by people. And so I spent thousands ⁓ of trying to to get in front of people. And at the end of the day, I was stuck. It just was not working. And ⁓ Then I thankfully came across ⁓ some of Donald Miller's work, specifically with story brand, ⁓ from him how to ⁓ story in and throughout all of my business. And that's where things really ⁓ to take off for me. And just realized I enjoyed that kind of that the balance of science of story and creativity. ⁓ And just realize, hey, I want to help other businesses do that. So really what I'm doing now is helping businesses use story to earn trust with customers so they can grow their business. Andrew Rauch: That's awesome. ⁓ love the name ⁓ Point. ⁓ I kinda have some maybe guesses as to why you're using that name, but what's the genesis? ⁓ what's what's the story behind ⁓ the name Anchor Point? Brent Flory: Yeah, well, and with how I work with people, in my counseling days, a lot of it is teaching people, okay, when I am faced ⁓ a storm in life, and inevitably the storms will come, one of the best things we can do is figure out how to drop an anchor, ⁓ a sense, ⁓ so we can handle ⁓ storms as they come at us. but also another way of putting it that I really like is when we're climbing our own respective mountains, what what climbers will do is they'll set a number of anchor points, not just one. We don't want to have just one fail safe, yeah, anchor ourselves in properly. So if things do go south as they often can in rock climbing and business and life, then we have something to catch us. Andrew Rauch: Yeah, great. What a what a fantastic analogy. my wife Sabrina occasionally did some rock climbing when she was a little bit younger, no not much. But I love watching movies about climbing. I don't know why it is. ⁓ it just me and yeah, I certainly resonate with that with the anchor points and just kind of watching them put it in and you know, in between those little cracks and you know, and just ⁓ you know, making sure that they're anchored well and I'm also reminded of, you know, is your ⁓ are your feet ⁓ planted on ⁓ the foundation of a rock the sandy beach, you know, when that storm comes, right? So great, great analogy. Thank you for sharing that. ⁓ let's talk a little bit about about you. Let's ⁓ let's hear a little bit about a a time or a season or storm that ⁓ you faced. give us a little context, share that, and then we'll we'll jump into a little bit about how you got through it. Brent Flory: Absolutely. the storm ⁓ I've faced, so ⁓ my wife I moved to ⁓ with our oldest or our only child at the time, we moved to Vancouver with another family to help start a church plant ⁓ back in And I I know how much you know about the the church scene out there, but ⁓ Vancouver has a reputation. ⁓ For being a graveyard for church plants. So that's kind of the sledding we were signing up for. And took time, but we got to a pretty strong point where we were having ⁓ about people coming ⁓ every And ⁓ had our first son there, and everything went great, which we're very grateful for. ⁓ Caleb. Andrew Rauch: And his name. Brent Flory: That that's killed. That's my Canadian, the one who touched a hockey stick and instinctively started waving it and scared his death. ⁓ yes, very grateful for him. ⁓ and then we got pregnant again and you know, we had never had any issues with either of our first two. So we just kind of naturally assumed things were headed the the same way. ⁓ and the first ultrasound went fine, but at the 20-week ultrasound. We learned that our son had ⁓ spina bifida and severe brain malformation. And the combination of those two is a death sentence. It's it wasn't a matter of if our son would die, but ⁓ And immediately we're we're thrown into this cloud of uncertainty. where death is the only certain thing. We ⁓ we didn't ⁓ we ended up naming our son Benjamin. But we didn't know if Benjamin would survive the pregnancy. ⁓ and if he did get to to the delivery, would he survive that? And then when he was delivered, and thankfully he was, we had no idea how long he would live. ⁓ truly hardest thing that that I've ever been through. Andrew Rauch: So ⁓ so all of a sudden the sky is blue. sky is blue. All of a sudden you come around the bend or the corner and it's dark clouds, and now now what do you do? Right? Boy, what a challenging situation. Brent Flory: Absolutely. Absolutely. And for ⁓ and so Benji ended up he actually lived for forty days Andrew Rauch: thank you for sharing that. So forty days. So how'd how'd you and Amy ⁓ get through that? Forty days. Yeah. Brent Flory: So much of that was you just leaning into r relationships that we had built, ⁓ people that we were close to. It wasn't There's a lot of people that can't handle those kinds of situations, to be frank. but we had fantastic people in our life. So that was an element. Another for me was being really honest with God. There was times I wanted nothing to do with him. Consistently I was angry, I feel like a grace I was given was to keep directing how really felt to him. I I frankly lived in the Psalms for over a year, ⁓ because was in this kind of numbers where I wasn't even sure what I was feeling, right? And that helped give me language. And I just tried to keep directing that to him. it was ⁓ Andrew Rauch: Please. Yeah, I was just gonna jump in if you don't mind. what you're describing about Psalms and ⁓ there's some beautiful psalms in there and you know, ma many people are probably familiar, for example, with Psalm twenty three, but is there a psalm or any parts of the psalms that kind of come come back to memory Brent Flory: It's a great question. Not any specific ones, but honestly the psalms of that dealt with laments, sometimes words do fail us, right? And and being able to to lean on those scriptural where ⁓ that that just enabled me to express things where I stuck. Andrew Rauch: thank you for sharing that. You had talked about friends and ⁓ the psalms and scripture, are there any other things that help you get? get through these forty days. And of course it wasn't just forty days, right? It was w when you get the announcement, then getting to the ⁓ delivery, then the forty days of life, what else got you through that season and that storm? Brent Flory: Yeah, yeah, really ⁓ you know, as you put it well, as hard as it was prior to Benji being born, it's really because he was born back in 2018, and so we're you know, eight years here now, and it's learning how to walk by faith the prayers for healing aren't answered. ⁓ how do I, as a leader Heal myself, how do I help my family heal? All of that. And part of it was okay, let's not make big decisions quickly, and just take things one step at a time. was a big part of it. and and another ⁓ was ⁓ and just g what was a gift to me that I would ⁓ mention to anyone. May listen and go through an incredible loss. I got introduced to something called the grief recovery method. and it's actually the ⁓ ⁓ method that exists to people ⁓ move grief and loss and to heal from it. And that me ⁓ make a leap in my healing as a father. So griefrecovery method.com. I would encourage anyone to check that out practically. yeah. But the component that I found most helpful ⁓ is really how navigate story. ⁓ it's something that we just think in, like we're we were wired to think in story. Andrew Rauch: Thank you. Brent Flory: Before we ever had language to call it story. Right. our minds will ⁓ ones, that are tied to our survival, to where it can really dominate our lives. but I think God gives us a gift of being able to tap into and use our imagination ⁓ to think of ways it may end. So ⁓ Andrew Rauch: Yeah. Brent Flory: When I was in my darkest times, Andrew, to ⁓ of pause and step back and engage with the Lord on it's like, okay, I honestly felt like a failure as a husband, ⁓ as father, ⁓ as leader. And I would offer there were times where that was, at least to me, tangibly true. But by walking with Lord and using my imagination, I was able to start. taking effective steps again to deal with reality as it was in our lives at that time and move forward and heal. Andrew Rauch: Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that. y you know, I I would imagine, ⁓ ha never having gone through losing a losing a child, but ⁓ you know, it seems to me like, you know, the clouds are really dark for a long time and then you know, then the the rainy clouds come ⁓ then they go and then there's a little blue and then ⁓ you know, there's another townpour when you're feeling a certain way, probably I would imagine, but you know ⁓ I can think of lots of analogies, but thank you for ⁓ for sharing that. so I wanna move into ⁓ talking a little bit about the redemptive part of this story. you wanna answer this, great, but I was gonna ask you, so t tell us a little you know, fond memory that you have of being in the storm with Benjamin, you know, what was that forty days like of having him, you know, on this earth and what what what brings a smile or joy to your heart when you think about ⁓ Benjamin. Brent Flory: Yeah, such a good question. I appreciate you asking that, Andrew. I one the things that was so fascinating ⁓ about Benji was even though ⁓ he born under a sentence, it wasn't like he needed all of these ⁓ tubes and or IVs in him. Like he there was nothing. I like so you could ⁓ Just hold him like you would any other baby, even though he he was only three pounds when he was born. even for Amy and I, but this was the kind of common denominator for people who would hold him. He was just so peaceful. Like holding him, just it's like he was sharing the peace of Christ with people. And really people together. In a in an incredible way. And know, the fact that he lived for 40 days ⁓ is miraculous to me. So he had such a a strength about him that was calming to us even as we were in that incredible uncertain storm. Yeah. I'll never forget it. Andrew Rauch: Beautiful. what what a blessing to experience that. You know, some people never experienced that peace their entire lives. So a what a blessing ⁓ it sounds like that was for you and Amy and ⁓ friends and family. So thank you for sharing that. Brent, what you say, you know, people listening to this, you know, challenging storm story ⁓ of of losing Benji, what would you say is ⁓ kind of the redemptive message that that you would to share? Mm-hmm. Brent Flory: Say, you know, my worst fears were realized losing my son. ⁓ it is a hundred percent true that I would do virtually anything ⁓ get him back. But what is also true at the same time is having faced my worst fears, that kind of storm, it's me a level of strength ⁓ that's I don't think I ever would have realized apart from grow going through something like that. so and both of those things are true at the same time. So my my encouragement would be to anyone who is l ⁓ being dominated by fear in their life or they fear certain storms, that as long as you are walking with the Lord, He will see you through and He'll bring it things about for your good. though it will not be easy. Andrew Rauch: Yeah. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, right, I will fear no evil. So brings great comfort, ⁓ thinking about Psalm twenty three. And ⁓ thank you for sharing that about, you know, the Psalms and how that helped you get through. And thank you so much for ⁓ you know, sharing your your story this morning. Brent, ⁓ what I'm gonna do is ⁓ gonna go ahead and, you know, get this out the door, so to speak. In the next couple of days I'll send you a note. And Brent, is there anything else ⁓ that you wanna share before I I let you get back to your day? Brent Flory: Not in particular. No, just thanks again for asking me to to be on. It was an honor and it's yeah, been a real pleasure. Andrew Rauch: Awesome. And if people wanna connect with you, what's the best way to do that? Maybe go to your website or go to LinkedIn or both. Brent Flory: Yeah, ⁓ LinkedIn's great. If you just search ⁓ Brent Flory F L O R Y, ⁓ there's probably a few others, but ⁓ probably the only one that I know of in Ohio. So love to connect with connect with anyone there. Andrew Rauch: That's awesome. Real quick side note, ⁓ I went to go see the new movie about George Washington, Young Washington. Did I see it? It's ⁓ one of the parts in the movie that I learned about George Washington was one of his first jobs was he was hired by the governor of Virginia to go explore ⁓ Ohio the Ohio Valley and ⁓ you know, what he had learned. So Brent Flory: I heard was good. Did you Andrew Rauch: That was pretty fascinating to to know that about George Washington. So there's a good part of there's a good part of Ohio in that movie, just FYI. Right. All right, Brent. ⁓ thanks for thanks for your story. ⁓ if you're needing somebody to help for you to tell your story, reach out to Brent. if you like ⁓ the Be the Bison podcast, you can go to our our site, which is Venture and Philanthropy forward slash be the bison. Brent Flory: Yes. Andrew Rauch: To hear more stories like ⁓ Brent's. Brent, thank you so much for your time this morning. All right, we'll see you soon. And ⁓ let me go ahead and stop the recording. Brent Flory: Thank you. Andrew Rauch: Awesome. Thanks, Brent. Appreciate the time. Brent Flory: Yeah, thank you, Andrew. It's great to see you again. Andrew Rauch: Hope hope have you had an opportunity well, I know you've had opportunities to tell a story before, but in in this kind of format? Brent Flory: I I was interviewed for a podcast before I went through the grief recovery method. and to be frank, it was not pretty. I I spent more time crying than talking, truth be told. so yeah, but ⁓ it especially people in general, but I think especially as men, when you go through something like that, it's so isolating and so hard for a lot of guys to share. So Boy, if there's even one dad that's been through something similar that hears this, I hope it encourages them to check out the grief recovery method. Andrew Rauch: Beautiful. Yeah. I think that's yeah, I think that's what we're doing, right? We're just in scripture, I think about just planting some of those seeds, right? And we can help one person, that's awesome. All right. Have a great Friday. couple of days. ⁓ I'll get something out the door and ⁓ I'll talk to you soon. Brent Flory: Look forward to it. Thanks, Andrew. Bless you. Bye. Andrew Rauch: Blessings. Bye.