Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Dominic Vogel - Navigating Fatherhood and Cybersecurity

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Dominic Vogel - Navigating Fatherhood and Cybersecurity · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
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• 0:38
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• 0:40
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• 0:40
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• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
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• 1:18
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• 1:24
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• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback DATCAST.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: We are in season five, everybody, and that feels so fantastic and I will say this is actually the perfect timing.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you can hear that in the background, but we have a cleaning crew in the house today and what a perfect time to fire up the vacuum right when I'm doing the intro.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Hopefully I'm not saying this too loud to make her mad, but we're going to keep going anyways.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Our next guest only happens because of the lovely and talented Lauren Jones, who I joke aside call her Elaine from Seinfeld.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: She's got that feisty energy, but she is one talented woman and if you were someone out there that's looking to learn more about your tech stack and ways to make it better, specifically in the staffing and consulting industry, please call Lauren Jones.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: She'll be linked in the show notes so you can reach out to her.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: But I met a friend named Dominic Vogel and he is from the great white North, that is, canada From Strange Brew right there he went to the mighty Simon Frazier I can't say what they were used to be called because it's probably not most PC, but I played against them back in 1996, 97, 98.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: I thought there was one guy that was almost going to paralyze me from body slam he did during game.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Luckily I survived it.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: But he's the founder and he's the chief strategist of cyberse.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: He's all things cybersecurity.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: He's a cybersecurity expert spoken all over the Canadian media, has thousands and thousands of followers hashtag cybersecurity matters.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're going to have Dom on today to talk about Dominic the dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Vogel, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I am so thrilled to be here and I echo what you said about LJ there One of the greatest human beings, bar nine, I've ever met.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: So grateful to call her a friend and Elaine reference is perfect.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: That's exactly who she is.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Sorry, lj, we had three on blast.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I hope you're laughing.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: If you listen to this right now, and I don't know, could you hear the vacuum in the background?
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I can't hear anything, for what it's worth.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: My wife who she does a lot of baking she has the baking supplies or something on right now which is so loud to mix her.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: So I guess we both have sounds that only we can.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: We can hear, but you can't shout out to the sure seven Mike, you're.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I'm getting like perfect audio today with with like noise canceling.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: So thank you, technology You're working Okay.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: And this episode, everybody, it's going to come out January 11.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: We are in November, it's almost Thanksgiving, but I must say happy early birthday, dom.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to ask your age, but happy early birthday and this episode comes out.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: That's my gift to you, a podcast episode.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I appreciate that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: You know it's when you have a birthday in early January, just after Christmas, just after New Year's, most people don't really give a damn about it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So thank you for the early birthday wishes, Katie.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: You bet man Well.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: We always start each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I am most grateful for the amazing family vacation that we literally just came back from yesterday.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: We got to spend the week in Southern California.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: My wife is a huge Disney fanatic.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: We got to go to her holy land there in Disneyland and she and my daughter enjoyed every minute as my five year old son and I'm grateful for that uninterrupted time where kids grow up fast.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I think every dad comes to recognize eventually that their kids just grow up right before them and you don't slow down and actually unplug and appreciate that time with them when they're small that it's like sand falling through your fingertips.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So very grateful for that time that I had with them this past week.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Love it, man.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: So they say it's the happiest place on earth, and it's legit Like I remember when I ride the rides when my kids were younger, I'm like, why am I so happy?
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh yeah, it's because it's the happiest place on earth.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: It really is.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: My daughter's a teenager and she did the roller coaster and the Guernsey of the Galaxy nonstop.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: My son's five and he loves cars, so he did a Topia.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I did it like nine times, which was fantastic, and other than the fact that, as a Canadian, I have to pay the US currency conversion, other than that, it really is a happy place.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that part would not be fun I can imagine I'm grateful for.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: This is going to be one I'll try to describe this one I'm grateful for.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: So I have a 17 year old and a 15 year old and I'm grateful for the little things I've talked about when they were younger or they're remembering it now, and so, for example, I'm going to give my daughter some love, like last night she was.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: She was reading.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: She's on the high school basketball team.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: She was reading the kind of player code of conduct.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: This is like one of those things where, like some high school kids might get it and they take it, they sign it and they read it.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: She literally read line by line from the coach and went through it and she's like I'm going to read out loud and my first thought was like, do you have to read that?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: And I was like, no, hey, great, I'd love to hear it and because it's important to her.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: So I was like I got to make this important to me.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: So I said I listened to it and she gets through it, gets through it, and all of a sudden she goes hey, wait a minute before she reads.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: He goes Dad, this is what you used to say this is coach, said.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I'm paraphrasing.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: She said the one thing you guys have as athletes is make sure there's two things you have control your attitude and your effort as a teammate.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: She's like Dad.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: You've said that forever and I was just so grateful for that that I was slowed down enough to one letter it to me to capture that memory that I remember telling her when she was five, six, seven years old, even even within the last two years, and so it was super fun moment.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: And then she and I ended up playing pool and I scratched with the eight ball to lose Damn it.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: So I'm grateful for that win and the loss.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: That's all the great stories end Right, exactly Just like most quarterbacks.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: We end our career with an interception.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: That's right, but I'm over it.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I mean I'm seriously.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: It's over, it's not.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: I'm past it.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Joking aside, Okay, Tell me.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: And do you want to go by, Dominic or Dom?
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I usually go by Dom.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Only my parents use my full first name.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: That's usually when they're at displease with me, so just please call me Dom.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Perfect, okay.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: So, dom, tell me about the, the Vogel huddle, bring me inside.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Who are the members of the squad you got a daughter, son, and who else?
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: The immediate squad is.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: So myself, my, my, my amazing wife Chrissy, and I have my 13 year old daughter Adrina and my five year old son James, and we have two cats as part of the huddle as well there's Jesse and Figgie he is.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: They're both somewhere in my home office here, and last year, on my birthday, aldi enough dearly departed member of our family was rusty, our family dog.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: He was 13 and he he passed away on my birthday last year, so he and I will always be karmically linked that way.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Rusty.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I lost the.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I called her the.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: We called it not the goat, but it was the jote.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: We called her.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Her name was Jenny, which is so funny that a dog named Jenny the Jenny of all.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Time.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: We called her.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: And golden retriever, I recetter just the most freaking, stoic, hilarious face expressions.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: You'd get Grouchy at times but like yet, there's the best lovable dog.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: So we actually have her daughter.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Stella was still alive, so Stella's now 12.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: And we just adopted a puppy, oh wow.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: So she and we were not going to do it.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: And then this dog came along right around my daughter's birthday in September.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: So we got it, and so now it's Harley who's a 13.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: No, it's almost five month old now, but it's a blast.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: So rest in peace.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Pooch Dog, they're the best that when they leave man, it's brutal.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I didn't grow up with pets, like my parents didn't have pets growing up and so my brother and I didn't have pets, and but it was he's.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I always jokingly say he's the only dog I'll ever love, because my wife says how much the dog destroyed the house.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: She said we're we're cats from here on out.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: So I jokingly say that Rusty was the only dog I'll ever love.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: My, my in laws just lost their, their dog, and they're they're rocked and it's been like it's funny, like you don't.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: They don't realize how much they mean to you until until they're gone, and so I'm I'm hoping that spend time with them and Thanksgiving this time Americans thinks they're gonna hear that it'll be help, help them get kind of through it, but that's.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: They were really, really attached to that dog.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: So, okay, well tell, I love the name.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Is it Adrina?
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Did you say Adrina?
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, my, my wife actually got the name from the show the Hills.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: You know, way back when Adrina Patrick, when my wife was younger, before we ever met, she watched that show and she said to herself I'm gonna name my daughter that.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: And she did.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: So I love that name.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I always I've always interested to see how names come from.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Tell me how you and Chrissy met.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: We actually met online before it was fashionable.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Wow was it a secure connection.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a secure connection.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was, yeah, way back when and we just instantly clicked and I'm very grateful to call her my, my partner and in so many ways and getting to do life with her and all the ups, downs and sideways, it's, it's pretty special when you get to find that, that person in your life and when you know in the deep, in the deep realms of your spirit, that that's that person.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: That's pretty special.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: And so, yeah, we're we're almost, I want to say, 14 years in so very grateful for the time we've had so far.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Congrats, man.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: It's well shout out to any if anybody's at home right now, that's maybe a dad that maybe got, you're looking to get remarried, or whatever the situation is.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: And here's a success story of online dating that's worked.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: So it's proof.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: it's proof that it does work and can work, and I have to give full credit to my, to my wife, because she's the one who found me and she said I saw your picture and I knew you were the one.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: So, wow, yeah, so full credit goes to her.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Well, tell me what.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Anything that your kids are like into.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Any big sports, any technology theater, yeah you know, I mean with my kids, you know A there's the gender difference but also the age difference, you know, and it's the parenting skills are very different at both of those age ages.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And right now, so my daughter, I say it's 13, she's going into high school next year and she's yeah, she's not the kid I remember you know very into makeup and you know she's really into dance and which you know, and she's terrific at it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: She's a, she's a great kid.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: But teenagers are a different beast and I'm sure you can relate to that.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And my son is five, you know, and as a five year old boy I can relate easier to that because he likes cars and monster trucks and playing Mario Kart, right, so that's, that's much easier for me to relate to, you know.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: So I, you know, I remember walking into a Sephora for the first time with my daughter and I was like, wow, I feel instantly uncomfortable here.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: And then I saw the pricing of things and things that were that big were like $100.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, now I really feel uncomfortable in here.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: So it's, it's, it's a joy I learned I should have a lot on my LinkedIn posts, you know it's.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: I actually very rarely post about what I do, which is cybersecurity, which we can talk about later but I was post generally about things I I I've learned life lessons as a dad, things I've learned to appreciate.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: You know, it's amazing.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: There's how I saw the world before I was a dad and how I see the world now as a dad, and that is constantly changing as my kids experience things as well you know my my opinion shift.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: How I see the world shifts.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I think that's so important as a dad to be able to have that very flexible mindset and not just instill your own beliefs on your kids.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Let them find things and have them teach you and empower you and help you grow and change as well.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: It's it's.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: It's a pretty amazing journey to be on.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: So, to answer specifically your question, my son, like I said, it's five.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Anything monster jam or Hot Wheels or Mario Kart related, he is all for.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: My daughter, like I said, anything makeup and or dance related, she is all for very different.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I got lucky.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: My daughter is a very competitive basketball player, so I've dodged the, the.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: I mean she's getting a little into the like once now she, she's, you know, once.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: I think the maturity of the growth of like, looking pretty and all these things, but I've, I mean her boyfriend right now, is the game of basketball, yeah, and which it'll be interesting to see when we go through the actual if she, if she decides to date anybody, but right now I mean she just she eats, treats, eats, drinks and just loves who.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: So it's, it's.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I've not had to go into Sephora yet, maybe my wife has, but you're a lucky man.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, please, I can only yeah, I'm not ready, I'm not ready for all that stuff, but it's, it's coming fast.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: So I normally go into like I want to go back in time and learn more about you.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: But you said something that I want to let my curiosity kind of take over.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: So you said you know like the before and after as a dad like you, you see in the world differently.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: If you can think of describe a couple areas that maybe come to mind that might resonate with dads at home, Well, for starters, just being seeing the world through the lens of a, of a female, you know, I, other than my mom, I, my family, was all boys, right, my, there was my dad and my brother.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: It was very male centric, right, the views of world, views of business, of life, were very male centric and wasn't until I met my wife and we had our daughter that I, my perspective, shifted.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't, I didn't realize or recognize the countless obstacles that women face in life and in business.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize or appreciate the discrimination.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And again, the list goes on, it's.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: And if my wife tells me the stuff that she had to endure during her corporate days, stuff that makes me shake my head.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: You know, and I I recognize, for all the I'll use air quotes the difficulties I've encountered over the course of my life, personally and professionally.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: They often pale in comparison to what I hear.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: You know, my, what my wife went through and that made me recognize that, as my daughter was growing up, I wanted to make sure that ultimately, as a fairly privileged, you know, middle-aged white guy, I did everything in my power to possibly make the world a more equitable, equitable, kinder and more compassionate place, especially for women.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Otherwise I wouldn't be able to look my wife or my daughter in the eye.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: That's the whole point of being a dad is making the world a place that your kids can thrive, and so that to me, I'd say, would be the most earth-shattering of them all, something that I, like I said when I look back in my 20s, something that I just didn't appreciate or didn't recognize that I could have done more.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I should have done more right, I had female colleagues.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I should have helped her, done something about when things were said and I didn't.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I just it was.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't have that lens or have that perspective.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: So that would be, like I said, the most earth-shattering one of them all.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna say I'm curious Did 2020, like the social unrest, Black Lives Matter movement, did that further ignite those feelings of?
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Um yeah.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I would say that it's how much of justifies the right word.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: But it made me recognize that I needed to do more right and I hear all the stories of you know, from a lot of female friends that I've developed friendships with over the years and things that they have told me that they've had to endure and it made me physically sick some of the stuff, because I thought like that that could be my daughter's, the stuff that they were saying that could be my daughter and I need to do everything I can to.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Obviously I can't eliminate that, but at the end of the day, you got to put out into the university energies to help create that more equitable world, to try and break down those discriminatory walls, to break down those barriers right, to be a source of empowerment, right.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: And that way I look at it now, where when I, when I get a note from female, I supported or I was a preacher the opportunity to support women on platforms like LinkedIn, when they sent me a note saying thank you for supporting me, right, like that, this stuff like that really resonates in my soul because that's someone's daughter, right that's.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: And if I can say to another dad hey, you know what, I'm very happy to have helped your daughter on on on her journey, right that's.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: There's a great sense of empowerment on that because ultimately, I want my daughter grows up and enters the workforce.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I want someone to be able to look at her and say that's someone's daughter, right that's.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: She does deserve respect, she deserves support, she deserves empowerment because that's someone's daughter, right.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: So if I can do that and put that into the universe, then I like to believe I'm.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I'm paving that path for for my daughter.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: I love that this conversations, taking this, this path down, because I, in 2020, when we went through kind of the social unrest and it, I learned so much about the word privilege.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, and talking to my daughter about this and because I was, I was on these middle aged white guys was like, when I heard privilege, I was like, well, I'm not pro, I work my ass up we talking about so naive, so naive.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: And I met a fantastic friend who's become a hell of a mentor for me.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Shout out Dale favors.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Dale favors is from New Jersey, east Orange, and he's one of the most fantastic human beings I've ever met.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: He has taught me so much about diversity.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: He's taught me with patience and grace not not making me feel bad, but he taught me I mean, I didn't know what Juneteenth was Never, never heard of it.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: We didn't know.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: I mean we talked about you know, I knew how to like be curious about supporting women, but, like from a cultural perspective, I just didn't dive in deep enough.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, and as a college athlete Uncle Rico moment right there playing quarterback I didn't.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I didn't know my.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I knew my teammates very, very well, just buddies, but I didn't know them deep down like hey, what was life like growing for you?
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: And so I've used this podcast and this platform to go back and really say hey, man, teammates, I'm sorry I didn't, I didn't dive deep enough.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: And about your point about do more, like when, when really hit me the most, I was like I gotta do something.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: And this was like season season one on the podcast.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I asked Dale, I said Would you be willing to come on this podcast and do an episode live?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: We're going to record it, put on YouTube and what's it like to be a black dad in Black Lives Matter, coming from white guys, and I'm going to interview from a white guy perspective and I want to invite my mom, my dad's, my stepdad pardon me my coaches, my teammates, for anybody.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: We had like probably 3040 people watch it live and it was uncomfortable, but I was like I'm impacting change.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I know it, you know.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: And I wasn't doing it for the raw.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Raw was doing it because I wanted to attack my feelings of uncomfortableness, yes, but to set an example for my kids.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and that's so beautifully said, and that's where I can go back to the whole notion of life perspective before kids and after kids I'm become so grounded in empathy, compassion, kindness, all things which I think maybe to a degree existed in me before, but we're not overly, I'll say, nourished before having kids and being able to feed those and explore those and add to those almost those hidden dimensions.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I'll say about myself that you don't really set out to explore before you have children.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful, I'm so grateful for them, not just because I love them so much, but because it just being a dad has allowed me to become a person that I'm so grateful to have become, and still be able to keep exploring and keep being able to be on a path where it's not about necessarily about being perfect, but being able to be on a journey where you can actually discover about yourself and learn about yourself.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: You don't like that.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: It's I.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Just that thought never entered my mind before I became a parent.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: So I'm another thing I'm very grateful for.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Well, you mentioned empathy and compassion.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I wish your friends at Simon Frazier on the defensive side would have been empathy and compassion for me when the body slam you but they didn't, okay, joe, going to say, let's, let's now go back in time and tell me what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact your parents had on you now that you're a dad.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I mean, both my parents were, were teachers, high school teachers.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: They both taught at the same Catholic high school in in East Vancouver.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: And yeah, you know, my for my dad I really learned the notion of just being a gentle, kind spirit.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: My dad is the type of person who never swore.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: He, especially as I was a teenager, when I was swearing, you always said you know, you can use better words than that.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Right, and I didn't really, didn't really, you know, think about that then, but I mean I thought about it later as I grew up.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I was like you know, I think you can write like that.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: There's so much power in words and you shouldn't stoop to the lowest calm denominator and using cheap, cheap, cheap swear words.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: But you know, learning stuff like work ethic, like he, he worked for 38 years.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: He did the same commute, high school driving there, which in the suburb we lived in, you know the commute went from being you know 20 minutes to, by the time you retired, it was almost an hour and a half to commute.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: And he he.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: He retired just before COVID so he chose every summer.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: You know it was almost like the Brett farve saga with the is he going to retire or won't he retire?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: No, but he probably for at least five or six summers in a row.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: He thought, no, I'm going to do one more year and do one more year.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Thankfully he didn't go to another school or team.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: I farved it, but he, he just knew time to hang up.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: But to me, I learned so much about just dedication and an adoration of your craft.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Like he was the last of his kind.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: But by last of his kind, I mean teachers that wore, you know, a suit, tie, dress, shoes you don't see that anymore sort of like NFL coaches, right, who used to wear those back in the day, right, the full suit.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: They're all wearing leisure, leisure gear.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Now, right, no one wears a full suit.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: He was the last of his kind.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: And I think about my kids now, like their teachers, none of them.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: They have a lot of good teachers, don't get me wrong, but they don't.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: They're not the professionals that they once were.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: My dad was a professional to a T I learned that from him and he wasa.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: He was a teacher to a T right.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: He is, I still believe, one of the smartest human beings I've ever met.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: He could have done other things, but he chose teaching because he felt there was no greater calling than to empower the next generation, and I think, at all the students that he taught and the impact he had on them.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: And so so many of them went to do amazing things, working for huge companies like Motorola.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Several of them went to the, to the states, to have these amazing jobs, and they all tied it back to the spark that my dad put in them during physics.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: He taught high school physics and high school computer science.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: That's something that always stuck with me, you know, and I learned that hard, hard work ethic from my mom as well.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I learned the value of selflessly loving someone other than yourself from my mom.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: My mom, from much of my life, probably from when I was 10 onward, suffered from significant mental illness, and that it really impacted me as well, and the lessons I learned from that was a from my dad.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: My dad could have caught in a run.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: He could have said you know, I'm not for this, I don't need to deal with this, but he never left and her mental illness made her say some terrible, terrible things and.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: But my dad never left and I learned the gift of the undying need to make sure that you're always there for your loved ones.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: My dad never likes it.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: He never caught in a run.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: He easily could have Right and that's why I look at that as a golden standard of you never abandon your loved ones.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: You never, especially as a dad.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: And I like to think that I'm the type of dad that I am.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Because of my dad I'm a bit more outspoken than he was.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I say I love you to my kids more than he did, but I've never doubted for a second that I'm the dad that I am because of him.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: And as hard as it was growing up I mean, I have very difficult years, you know, having to deal with with that and all these years later my mom's still grappling with mental illness.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: But I used to see it as a think of it, as a curse, but now I see it as a gift because I'm not who I am today without having gone through that journey.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I'm not the dad I am.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I am today without that happening and I wish my mom wouldn't have had to go through that mental torture that she has.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't wish that on anyone with what she has, but in the same token I'm not who I am without that journey.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Hello everybody.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: My name is Craig Coe and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: In fact, beeline's history of first to market innovations have become today's industry standards.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: I get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: And I say this it's simple.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: The guy flat out gets it.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: Relationships matter, his down to earth presentation, his real world experience applied to every area of our business.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: In fact, his book Win the Relationship and Not the Deal has become required reading for all new members of the global relationship management team.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn, and if you don't know Casey Jaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Now mom and dad still with us.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Mom and dad are still with us, yes, and they live five minutes down from the street from us as does my brother?
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: He lives five minutes in the other direction.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Nice, that's nice to have family close.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Well, I am, I'm sure and feel comfortable with the share.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: What you want, like I can talk about my father.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: My dad passed away December 29, 2021.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: All of season three in the podcast was dedicated to him because it was a time where we couldn't really do funerals back then and he was in assisted living for many, many years.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: When I was I got married at 23,.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: My uncle at the time, right after we got married, he said hey, casey, you and Kerry might want to think about getting a two bedroom apartment for your dad to live with you.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I was like that's not going to happen, sorry, but we took care of him financially, emotionally, physically.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: He fought mental illness, fought bipolar for years.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Multiple times he went to a psych ward which is, I mean, scary.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I remember being really scared like whoa, there's some people in rough shape here.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: You know the guilt of seeing him go into those places.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: You know, I know my mom's struggle because she remarried.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: I think she fought guilt too and I just always remind her.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: I was like, listen, you, you can't like you guys have you decided this part and you make the best of it.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: And you know, dad Unfortunately made kind of, you know, mental illness definitely led to some of his challenges.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: But a lot of time, a lot of his choices, he made some choices that probably didn't help the mental illness.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: So I can empathize for, for what, what you're, without knowing too much what going through, because it's it's hard.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: But one thing I love that you said, dom, is just that the perspective and the mindset shift you had on Leading towards the optimism like this didn't happen to me, happened.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: For me it's and trying to find something positive and then that's the gift we all can give as humans ourselves with grace, but it's also we can teach our kids that oh, absolutely case.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: And and that, like I said, it's it's that gift of perspective, it's that gift of finding that proverbial silver lining in the clouds where you could take a victim mindset.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: You could always say why does this happen to me?
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Why, why?
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Why this always happened to me?
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: Or, like I said, you could embrace the fact that this is happening for you.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I find out that purpose, this, what you're going through, is happening for a reason I know.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I Hope to be able to keep instilling that in my kids, because as much as you want to shelter them and protect them from the outside world and and especially with my son, I am at times a helicopter dad, I'll admit that.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: But at a certain point you need to recognize if you shelter them too much, you're doing them a disservice, right?
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: You need to make sure that you are empowering them and equipping them with the emotional tools To be emotionally resilient in life, right, and for them to be emotionally resilient during the ups and downs and sideways that is life.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Otherwise they got a struggle Exactly, otherwise I'll have failed as a dad.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: So it's hard, easier than some, easier on some days, harder and others.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, I can think of a lot of first-world examples, but, like, I think there's a great book I read during 2020 it's by got him swenator, who was also in the podcast and it says you have not taught until they have learned.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm, great book.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: He's got played basketball for someone you might have heard at home called John Wooden.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I know he's very well-known name and his book is fantastic and what it really did for me when my son was like what?
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: 1314, we were doing way too much.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: We were making meals, we were doing this, doing that and Then all of a sudden, like COVID would hit.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: We're like shit, why are we doing all this stuff?
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: And now, now we got like short order cooks, dumb, yeah, it's, it's you know, and I think it's such a I'm glad that we, I'm glad that my wife and I had that kind of whoa we got.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: We got to stop doing stuff because we're only hurting them.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and sometimes it's about it's a balance, because you want to be then the lazy parent and do nothing and then, but then it's like if you go too far the other way.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: So it's like it's constantly just kind of check and checks and balances of it's.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: It's someone told me, I don't remember who, but someone told me it's almost like a pendulum right where it's.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: You're constantly trying to find that equilibrium and sometimes it swings too far, sometimes it swings too far to the other way, but it's almost that constant path of trying to find that that comfortable middle of ground and recognizing that it's and I love that analogy too, because it's very fluid, it's not binary, right, this isn't zeros and ones, this isn't black and white.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: It's very fluid.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: So back to your pops real quick.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: So, physics teacher, you know, as I think about a physics teacher now that had, I mean, as you're describing them, I'm thinking of all the people he could have impacted, like you know Facebook executives, google executives, motor, whatever may be.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: Did your dad ever have Like side hustle like you wanted to do like computer stuff or software?
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, he did have side hustles and, like he's a, he's been a long-time writer.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: You know, one of the things that he's always been so good at is making tech relatable to, to non-technical people.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: So he's written In various Catholic publications here in Vancouver around technology and he's done so for 30 plus years doing that.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: And he also one of the things that he absolutely loved doing was having an imprint on the.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: We hear that referred to as provincial exams for students who go through physics right His, his fingerprints and are all over the physics exams that students have taken, physics students have taken over the past 30 plus years as well.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: So those are, those were his side hustles, you know, and I did learn the I Say the art of a side hustle from him because those were things that he loved doing.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: They were still related to teaching.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: They weren't necessarily, you know, side hustles in the in the way that we may look at them today, but you very much, I'll say, made, made an imprint in the way in which I saw him doing things other than just his job.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: You know, to him it was a passion, it's a and it's always been a passion.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I was never clocking in, clocking out, you talked about.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: You talked about Power of words.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I love that you talked about and you're having a good spirit, being gentle, being kind, having a great work ethic.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: But if you're to think back as you grew up, that Like story, like a story that you might be able to tell, that kind of would relate to some of those values that you learned.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: When I asked that, tell me, does something come to mind that you maybe have shared with either your kids?
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yeah, there's a couple that come to mind, but the the one, that the one that all, all share was.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: It was at a point where I'm gonna say I was maybe 12 or 13, don't quite recall, and my mom was having a very difficult go of it and like she was basically just hysterical, like she, she was Needing to go to the hospital or something and she was just basically melting down in in the garage.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: You know, and my dad, you know, he called me, he called me, said to me.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: He said he said I know I need you to help calm her down.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: He said you have.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: He said you have a way of making people feel good and calm about themselves.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: So it's amazing gift.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know how you have it, but you have that.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: He said I need your help on that.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna get mom through this.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I don't you ever think that our families ever gonna fall apart.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: He said we're gonna get all get through this together.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: You know, and you know I, you know I talked to my mom and I calmed her down.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: And you know, and you know he, how'd you do it?
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Just just, just by, just by listening, you know, and Letting her talk.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: You know she's never she's.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: We've always struggled to get an actual, proper diagnosis with her.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: I'll see it's a mixture of OCD injected with psychosis, which is a terrible combination, by the way, and you know it's Just letting her her talk, you know, and just gentle reassurance.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: It's something which as a sidebar.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: I don't have the emotional bandwidth anymore to help her like I did when I was little and when I was still living with my parents.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: The emotional bandwidth I have now is dedicated to my wife and my kids and you know, and apartment in Silphill is like I take guilty that I'm not there to be able to support my dad.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, my brother is there now and it's almost been role reversals where, you know, I was the calm one and my brother, my younger brother, wasn't, and now he's the one who keeps her calm, kind of thing.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: So it's going.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: You know, sorry, that was a sidebar, but going back to the point there, you know the thing with my dad is that he always used his words so carefully and pointedly and I always felt empowered and that there was that belief in which he wouldn't say a lot, but the words that he said were extremely meaningful and extremely impactful and again goes to the value in which, especially, I think about today.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I look at platforms like LinkedIn and other ones where there's no shortage of, I'll say, talking heads.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: Talk is cheap, like I said, but what made me really appreciate is those that make each word count.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Got back it up.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've loved these.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: I always tell my clients every word matters, every word, every word.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Like I work with sales and executives and leadership and sales skills.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: It's like to me, selling is about being curious.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, about being a storyteller.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: It's not about convincing.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: That's what's so funny.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: It's actually annoying that people think selling you have to convince you.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: If you're convincing, you're not selling, you're being a tool.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's something about like okay, there's some other problem, someone in a bad spot because that problem.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, let's be a friend.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: And how can I help them?
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, real quick.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: You said emotional bandwidth.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: So when my I mentioned my dad when he was going through his journey with mental illness, I'm going to give you some, some grace and yeah, and if you feel bad about that, but I this is right at the time, my career was, it was really going up and I was like whoa, this is, this is awesome.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden I'd get these phone calls hey, casey, this is so and so from the fire department.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Your dad's naked in a bathtub, smoke building it, building out of his house.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: But he's okay, we've, we got him.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what?
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like we're I'm leading this, this like consulting team and we're putting like 80 people to work on a project and we're trying, I'm trying to think through all these things and on board, and then I'm pulling over on the side of the road or I'm driving to Eastern Washington to you know, deal with this, or getting phone calls that he's passed out at a stoplight and I'm like, finally I remember how to start saying to my dad like dad, imagine if you fell asleep the wheel because you're being stubborn and you hit our son, your grandson, and killed him, how do you feel?
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: I had to ask like those tough questions and it was super tough, love.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: But I got to the point.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: I remember, on going one day on Google Dom, I said caregiver burnout yeah, enter, yeah, I had nine of the 10 symptoms, nine of the 10.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Now, what?
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Now this is much as this might sound negative, what was fantastic about when my dad eventually passed the last probably five weeks of his life?
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: All this dementia stuff and mental health?
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: It went away.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: This is the most bizarre thing, Wow.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: And we had the best five weeks where I literally went from not wanting to see him because I just felt emotionally drained and just horrible, you know.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: But once I that time I got from the very end.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: I was there for his last breath.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was awesome.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: So I'll hope and wish and pray that, like you, will be able to have that same experience with your mom, thank you.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: But as you're saying this, it's like taking me right back to those moments, brother.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: So well, that's what a great story, because, like your dad and even you, I can tell, are, I would think you have.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: Patience is one of your strengths.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Is that like reading the room, right?
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: On good days, Casey.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Well, I, my dad, was not patient.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: He had the best.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I'm going to go against your dad's words, but just for cause my dad would have my dad loved to call.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: He'd always loved to say, god damn it, casey, and it would make us laugh because it was so intently powerful, the good old GD bomb, yeah and yeah.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: But his patience was not good.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: And then he passed it down to me and I see, and I have to work really, really hard and I do work really hard on patience, but I see it in my kids sometimes and I find myself, as I'm getting older, like kids take a deep breath.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, be patient, give each other the benefit out.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: You're both.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Didn't wake up thinking like I hope that he makes me matter, I hope she's doing this to me, no one's doing that, just have a little grace.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: And so, like when you, as you were describing your dad, like a lot of that, it's just great things that we can.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: Even if you're not best today, it's okay.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Be better tomorrow as a dad.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: True, true is my friend, very much a truth.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: So as you, as you and your wife, think of like core values that are that are most important to you, both right now as as you're raising your kids, tell me what a couple couple that come to mind.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: You know, you know it's, it's fine.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Because one of the things that always bothers me is when I hear, you know, even from normally, family and relatives saying oh, what, what, what do you want the kids to be Right, what should they be when they grow up?
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: Right, and they list a litany of jobs.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: And I was saying what?
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I honestly don't give a damn what they do.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: Right, I want them to be kind, human beings.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I want them to be the type of person that if they see someone struggling across the street that they get out of their car and help them.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: That's the type of person.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: What they, who they are, is more important than what they do.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: And they said whatever it is that they do end up doing, I want them to love doing it.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: So, if that's doing hair, if that is, driving a monster track.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I don't really get gardening, whatever it is.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: I just want them to absolutely love what they do, and so the indirectly slash.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: I guess directly answer your question.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I'd say you know, the values that we are very much trying to instill in our kids are those of kindness, you know, compassion to others, grace, taking the time to just be present with yourself, be present with loved ones.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: And you mentioned patients as well.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Like my son's five and I can't tell if it's his age or what, but he's very impatient, right.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: So one of the things that we're trying to keep reminding him of is, again, the virtue of patients, the gift of patients.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: So I'd say those are the types of qualities that we're trying to get through to my kids through osmosis and maybe on some days we bludgeon them over the head with it, but we're trying to instill in them.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Well, I would.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: I would tell you that the one thing I'm learning I have you, our kids are a little older than yours but like they're always watching, yes, and they tell me that and I see that they are always watching, and they are smarter, way smarter than we give them credit for, you know.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: And so I mean, I think to the osmosis point.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: I mean James was watching, you know, and like I think, a lot of times, if we want to see our kids improve things they do well, then we have to show that same you know, show that same behavior.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I wish there was a manual for fatherhood.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: There's not.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: And you know, as the news alert here everybody, as the host of this podcast, I have flaws, just like you and I, selfishly, I get more out of this podcast than everybody because I get to interview people and I get to listen to it a second time.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: I'm getting double the episode.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: So if your dad and you're struggling with some of these things we're talking about today and you're feeling like sometimes you're not alone, like just take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, show the vulnerability to go ask for help from a bud.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: You don't need to have a microphone and scheduled time to record something like we're doing today to get help.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: That's the only thing I'm.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: The goal of this whole podcast from day one was just help dads find ways to become better leaders through curiosity, through humility, through vulnerability, and really lean into those, because those are superpowers in my mind that I'm teaching my kids.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: So so true, and the one thing I would I'd now add to that and I love how you have the word plastered behind you, like Ted Lasso there is the power of belief, right Believing, and one of the things that I hope my kids always see in action with myself and my wife is that, no matter the situation, no matter the odds, no matter what you find yourself in, there's very few, I'll say, powers or forces more stronger in this universe than the power of belief.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: I 1000% could not agree with you more and everybody I know this is an audio podcast, but behind me I do have a believe sign on my wall which it's mainly for my coaching practice I do with sales and executive leaders, but it's mainly for myself.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Don't tell anybody, dom.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: It reminds me to tell myself case.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I believe what I do matters and when you start.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: That's funny.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: I was last week.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: I was speaking at a conference and a gentleman in the crowd at a court it was a nice challenge he said you know, case, you left corporate in 2019, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: It's different.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Selling is different.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: And I said okay, appreciate the challenge.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: You go tell me.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: When did I start my consulting business?
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: He was like I don't know.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: I said I'd start it in 2020.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: Perfect time, right.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: And people giggled.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: He's like what are you talking about?
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: I said I started in a global pandemic, just like I started in the staffing consulting industry in 2000, which is right.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: During the dot com crash, I went through 2008 crisis, I went through 2013, 14 crash.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: I'm the same dude yet.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: And so one of the things that, if I could help you back to your question, because he was like trying to, how do we help salespeople do blah, blah, blah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: I said tell me when's the last time you've asked your leaders or your team if they believe what they do matters?
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Do they believe in the problems that you solved?
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: You believe in the company?
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: I got blank stare.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: I said how many other people have done this?
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: I got no hands going up and like to meet to your point.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: If we can't instill confidence in our kids when they leave the door, I feel like they're already stepped behind.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: So I love you called that out man.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: That's a you know and it's something that you can reinforce through conversation, absolutely.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: So true, so, so, so true, my friend.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Love that.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me how does one from well, I may be your dad's in physics and software and technology I get but tell me how does one get into cybersecurity and tell us what you're doing in the wide role of cybersecurity?
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, the enough to origin story does get tied back to my dad.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: So I was new, I wanted to do something with technology, you know, and as I was in my final year of high school, my dad said hey, you know what?
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: I always get these huge stacks of magazines from Microsoft and all sorts of you know vendors.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: He said how about I bring it home when you flip through it and maybe there's something that interests you?
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: And my dad brought home the stacks, the massive stack of magazines dropped on the floor of my bed.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: I remember spending a whole evening just flipping through them all and none of them really interested me.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: And then I found this one that said information security magazine.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: And now we call it cybersecurity, but information security magazine.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: This was in the early 2000s.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: I was like what in God's name is information security?
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: I read the magazine cover to cover, and it was like this this is what I wanted to do.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Because it was technology, it was people, it was risk, it was business, it was psychology, it was just so intriguing, you know, and it was a very nascent field at the time it's still is in comparison to broader IT, and I was like this is so, so cool.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: So when I went to SFU, simon Fraser University, and I went for with the computer science degree and I was hoping to learn about cybersecurity or information security but it wasn't taught.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: It was still too early on, you know, where cybersecurity didn't become more prominent in university level teachings until I'm gonna say maybe five, seven years ago.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: And so I basically self-learned, I self taught, I just racked up as much knowledge as I could, reading books and all that, and when I graduated I held out for cybersecurity job because that's why I wanted to do that.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: And I held out and it was really hard to find a job.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: I think I was waiting at least eight months and finally someone took a chance on me.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: And I'll never forget that for two reasons.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: One is he said you're not qualified.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: He said but I absolutely love your passion.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: He said I can tell that this is something you absolutely love doing.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: He said you know the pays crap, but if you want the job, it's yours.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: I was like heck, yes, let's do it.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: And I sort of I went through my I refer to him as my corporate journey, which ultimately led to me burning out, but that then propelled me to becoming an entrepreneur and I've been in this field.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: You know in close to 20 years now and I'm very grateful to do what I do and I absolutely love you know, circling back to your question, what I do in cybersecurity.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: Now, I absolutely love serving small and mid-sized organizations.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: They are the lifeblood of the economy in North America and they are chronically underserved when it comes to really trying to grapple with cyber risk.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: And cyber risk, I truly believe, is one of the most pressing risks facing organizations, especially the SMBs.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: It's not like it was 20 years ago when I started, where I was only the enterprise, the big companies, that had to worry about cybersecurity.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Paradoxically, the ones who have the most to lose now are the smaller businesses, because it's an existential risk for them, right, if they don't deal with cyber risk effectively, that's it game over.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: You get ransomware, your data's gone, you cease to exist as an organization.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: That's not quite the case with large organizations.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: Right, they have the war chest.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: Right, they can deal with all that.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Your average small business they can't afford to pay that $50,000 ransom, right?
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: So it's something that I love being able to break down, demystify, make this something that is relatable, take out all the tech crap from it and say this is as a risk.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: Mr and Mrs, ceo, business owner executive, this is what you need to do, and I love doing that.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Fantastic If people wanna learn more about.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: I mean do you do business in Canada and the United States?
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Yep, canada, us and people are listening.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, we've had clients in the UK and Western Europe and Australia.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: It's, the cool thing with cybersecurity is that there's no global boundaries.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: Well, if people wanna learn more about you, they wanna connect.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: Tell me what's the best way they can find you and get connected.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: I'd say the best way is to find me on LinkedIn, dominic Vogel.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: I post daily, not always about cybersecurity, but I'm a big believer in people getting to know me as a person, right, and if you like me as a person and if they're following my content and you're like, hey, you know what, my business does have some cybersecurity issues I like to deal with, or maybe you're like, hey, you know what, I don't understand what the heck my IT guy is telling me or our IT manager is telling me.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Maybe I can reach out to Dom.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: If you like me as a person, then reach out to me, that's.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: I always hate pointing people to a website because I think that's impersonal.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Get to know me first and if you like me, then reach out and schedule a call and I'm always happy to have a conversation and start a friendship.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: Well, he's not fully you know what everybody, because that's how he and I are here today, and so that's accurate.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: I saw him in LJ Engage and Lauren's friend of mine I'm like any friend of Lauren's a friend of mine and then.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: So I reached out to Dom next to him, next to him, you know what, and then next to him we're on a podcast.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: So it's true, you can do it.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, if I was to have you summarize, before we go into some fun lightning round, if I was to have you summarize everything we've talked about, that, maybe dads can take actionable tasks to kind of work on their own leadership skills, their own kind of self value, to kind of be that ultimate leader or quarterback of their home.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Tell me what two or three things come to mind, dom.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: I'd say the first thing is have a malleable mind, right.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: Don't just assume that your view of the world is the only view of the world.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: I see far too many dads who are unwilling to change their mind.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: Heck, we see that with politicians and other people as well.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Be willing to change your mind when provided with different perspectives of the world.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: The second thing is to again actionable perspective love unconditionally.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: You know, and I'm sure that's been said before in your podcast, but I'll echo it again I'm a big believer in loving unconditionally, in which there's no strings attached to being a dad.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Right, you were there always for your children.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: You want to support them, you want to empower them Always, love unconditionally and be there for them.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Third and final thing I would say is enjoy every minute.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I see so many dads that again, they're busy with their side hustle, busy building their careers, and they give what's left over of themselves to their kids at the last few minutes.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: You know they read the bedtime story and that's it.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I try very hard to be done work by the time my kids come home from school.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: I do not schedule meetings rarely after they come home from school because that is my devoted time with them.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: I equate it to, like I said, holding sand right, your kids.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: You can hold that sand as hard as you want, but eventually those granules all fall through your hands.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: So you have that time with them, because before you know it, the sands of time will have passed.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: So true, well said, my man.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: I have a good shout out to my boy, virg Plumbo, former K-46, he's still at K-46, where I worked for years.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: He used to talk about it in football like seasons.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: We have 18 seasons.
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: Everything was a football analogy, and he's a big military guy too, but it's like that resonated with me.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: It was like you got 18 seasons for the go to the pros, and so it is seasons, kind of like you're getting ready to be in my leagues and letting them go and then you don't want them to be in the minors until they're 48.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: That means we've done a bad job.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: Now it's time to go into the lightning round and down, where I asked you completely random questions.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I've not prepared any of these.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: This is just going to go show you the negative effects of taking too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits and your job is to answer them quickly.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: My job is to try to get a giggle out of you.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: These laughs don't count.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: Sounds good, casey?
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to start.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: Even these don't laugh, okay, true or false, they are making slap shot too, and you're going to be the lead character.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: I'll say true, and you catch me in between beard shaves.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: I just shave my massive beard.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: So with big shave or without the big beard, true.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: I just laughed.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: If they were to film Strange Brew too, you'd ask to be the lead character.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: Also, true, fantastic movie, underrated 24.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, it's so good.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: If you have people have not seen Strange Brew, go watch it.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: 24 Elstor Brews please.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: Bob and Doug McKenzie Fantastic characters, beautiful.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: Tell me the last book you read.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: Last book I read was oh gosh, what was it?
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: I think it was called it was the coaching habit.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: The author's name is escaping me.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: It was the coaching habit.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you were to book a vacation right now.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: No kids, you and Chrissy, where you going?
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: Even though you just got back.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, disneyland Again.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: Again, we're going back.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my wife's happy place and she's always said that when the kids are grown, our first vacation is gonna be there, because she wants to experience it just her and I.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me the one song in your phone that if your best client knew you listened to, they'd be like what Don you listen to?
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: That?
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: I wanna say John Cena's theme song, just cause my five year old loves John Cena and we listened to that a lot.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, there you go WWE fans out there.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: Lerati Reddy, piper.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title Laughter and kindness.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: Hmm, love that.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'd read that book.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: So I read that book and now I've given it to my friends at Hollywood and now they're gonna make a movie about it.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: Dom, and I need to know who, cause you're now the casting director.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: You have full control over who's gonna star you.
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: So tell me who's gonna star?
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: Dom Vogel, and must critically acclaim new hit movie Laughter and kindness.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: Oh boy, geez, that's I wanna say Billy Cruttle, okay.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: Well, wow, billy, okay.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: And then last question Tell me two words to describe your wife.
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: Epically amazing Gold mic drop from Dom Chrissy.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: He did it.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: That was fantastic.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, lighting rounds over.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: We both giggle, we both had fun.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: I learned a ton about you.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: I've had so many people say, god, I feel like I went through therapy.
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: I feel like I go through therapy as the host and dads have more conversations like these.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Like I said, don't wait for the microphone, don't wait it.
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: Literally you pick up the phone and you ask your buddy tell me about your day.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: Man, tell me one or two things that struggling as a dad today, and just talk.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: You can be vulnerable, you can be open.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: We don't need to be the wild, wild West 1926 and not be able to talk about our feelings.
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: That's amazing.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: When you do, you'll feel so much better by yourself.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: One man's opinion.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: I'm off my soapbox, but, dom, I want to say thank you so much, kicking off season five.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: I hope you and your family have had a fantastic holiday season and I'm grateful that our paths have crossed crossed due to the wonderful Lauren B Jones.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: But without that further ado, thank you for spending time with me and I hope to cross the path again with you soon, brother.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: Casey, much appreciated my friend, forever grateful Bye.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Why don't we come toーボー?