Latest / Spiritual Homegirl / 601-The Privilege of Conflict: Lessons from Cardi and Nicki

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601-The Privilege of Conflict: Lessons from Cardi and Nicki · Spiritual Homegirl

• 0:01
  Hey, y', all, you were listening to another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast where we better self and spirit and make peace with the day through wisdom, education, and practical, easy to follow tips.
• 0:09
  I am your host, Maria, your spiritual homegirl, who's also a mental professional.
• 0:13
  And baby, I am disgusted.
• 0:17
  I'm disgusted.
• 0:18
  We're gonna talk about some beef today.
• 0:20
  We're gonna talk about some beef today.
• 0:22
  We have been witnessing a beef for almost the better part of a decade, and it has gone entirely too far.
• 0:27
  And what I see in this beef is a good example of move in conflict.
• 0:32
  So we're gonna do a homegirl's guide to getting it popping when somebody really needs your attention and will not get it.
• 0:40
  Why?
• 0:41
  Because you're not going to give it to them.
• 0:43
  Now, let me run you down my resume.
• 0:45
  I have come from a family of people who have always fought for themselves.
• 0:49
  It is generationally in my history.
• 0:51
  We don't play about ours on both sides.
• 0:54
  Some of y' all can also relate.
• 0:56
  So when you have a family like that, I'm not saying they're violent.
• 1:00
  I'm not saying they're abusive.
• 1:01
  I'm not saying that.
• 1:02
  But what I'm saying is that the same way I said on an Instagram post a few weeks ago about how I don't do bullies and I don't do being pushed around.
• 1:10
  I just come from a family that has never been the type to be pushed around slavery on down.
• 1:15
  Okay?
• 1:16
  Now, granted, we know there's history that goes beyond slavery, but I was very proud to find out some things about my ancestors that were happening during the slavery time.
• 1:23
  And I said I knew is a part of my identity.
• 1:25
  It's in the blood, literally.
• 1:27
  So I've also been a person who has not been able to manage my temper growing up.
• 1:32
  I had a very hot temper growing up and we talked about that.
• 1:35
  I never backed down from a fight and came.
• 1:37
  Nobody on this earth said they whoop me ever.
• 1:40
  But we're grown now, and what we've done is we've grown and we've done the work and we evolved and we realized that just because everybody or somebody calls our name or tries to indirectly bait us into something, we.
• 1:52
  We're not going to give them what they want.
• 1:54
  This is inspired by Cardi and Nikki.
• 1:58
  I saw the foolery yesterday, and this is not where we're gonna jump on the high horse, right?
• 2:02
  Because sometimes people have gotten into situations where they have literally gotten it popping, and when one person took it low, they took it to hell.
• 2:09
  So we understand that that's possible.
• 2:11
  Right.
• 2:11
  But what was disappointing to me about this conflict specifically was how ugly it got with the kids.
• 2:19
  It got ugly with the children.
• 2:21
  You talking about people, kids being non verbal.
• 2:24
  You talking about people, kids being monkeys and roaches and you're talking about people's kids.
• 2:30
  What was the other thing that I saw?
• 2:32
  Non verbal monkeys, roaches.
• 2:35
  It was some.
• 2:36
  Oh yeah, fertility issues.
• 2:38
  Talking about how, you know, there was an issue with fertility issues.
• 2:40
  And my thing is this.
• 2:42
  I'm not saying it's right to say it in private, but what I'm saying is because this is such a public argument between two public folks who have people that are probably fans and supporters of them, that might have
• 2:59
  children that have been bullied, that have been called those names before, monkey or roach, or they may have children that are non verbal or maybe on the, on the, on the spectrum.
• 3:10
  Or you may have folks who have fertility issues who want children but are not able to conce them, are having issues conceiving children.
• 3:20
  Children who still people who may want children but might not be able to have them because of the issues they've had.
• 3:25
  So unfortunately, when you dog somebody out like that and you try to use certain traits about them with, or what you think about them as a dig, not only are you going to dog them out publicly, but now
• 3:38
  you Lowkey threw a stray at everybody else that might identify with that.
• 3:42
  That has nothing to do with the conflict.
• 3:45
  And it's so disappointing because it's like you also see the optics.
• 3:48
  Right?
• 3:49
  And again, both of them are talented artists.
• 3:52
  Okay, let's be clear.
• 3:53
  We're not gonna act like, you know, one is, is talentless and the other one's not.
• 3:56
  No, clearly they are successful women.
• 4:00
  Successful in rich.
• 4:02
  Not only financially, but they have families, they have children.
• 4:06
  And we're seeing successfully financially rich women not able to set aside a beef for almost what, seven, eight years at least.
• 4:18
  And now you have somebody who is messaging one lady while she's pregnant, which is not to me.
• 4:25
  I feel like once you pregnant, you got to pay all that dust.
• 4:28
  You got to protect your baby.
• 4:29
  But that's just me though.
• 4:31
  You got one person that's pregnant upset or, or mad or not even mad.
• 4:36
  We don't even know their emotional state.
• 4:37
  But either way they getting it popping on the Internet.
• 4:39
  And then you got another person who, whose baby birthday is that day.
• 4:42
  And even if they're having multiple parties, they're taking time out of the children's party to go ahead and go back and forth with the lady that's pregnant.
• 4:49
  And I'm just like, man, this is a lot of energy to me.
• 4:54
  And I know some of y' all gonna be like, girl, bye.
• 4:56
  And I don't care.
• 4:58
  It's spiritual warfare, both of them.
• 5:01
  It seems like it's some kind of warfare going on because the.
• 5:05
  How.
• 5:05
  The.
• 5:05
  How dark it got.
• 5:07
  That's not entertainment to me.
• 5:09
  Talking about somebody, kids and dissing other people on accident.
• 5:13
  That's the straight.
• 5:14
  That's not.
• 5:14
  That's not entertaining.
• 5:18
  That's concerning.
• 5:19
  Hopefully on one end, Cardi not stressing out because the baby don't need no stress.
• 5:24
  If we, you know, as we know.
• 5:26
  And then obviously you want to spend time with your kid for their birthday, you don't want to be off to the side or just standing there texting on the phone like you don't want to.
• 5:34
  Like, I don't know.
• 5:34
  Like, I just.
• 5:36
  I feel like things were taken away from each other when it comes to these types of conflicts, you know, Like, I just.
• 5:44
  I don't know.
• 5:45
  Like, I.
• 5:45
  I mean, I've always been a person that's been like, if y' all need to have one heck of a conflict just to have a productive resolution and do that, but if that's already happened and it's still not productive
• 5:56
  and people still want to argue, it's just like at some point you gotta.
• 6:01
  Somebody gotta be the one that's like, you got it.
• 6:03
  And this is.
• 6:08
  Do I want to do this episode again?
• 6:10
  Like I said, they both successful, they're both talented.
• 6:13
  You can't take nothing from them career wise.
• 6:15
  I mean, they've all kind of earned their.
• 6:17
  Their accolades and their stripes and things like that.
• 6:19
  But I just.
• 6:21
  It's sad.
• 6:23
  It's really sad.
• 6:25
  Like, we got people like, we, like, you know, it's.
• 6:27
  We're grown at this point.
• 6:28
  I can see if they was like in their 20s, you know, when you're in your 20s, you're a little more reckless, you know, in front of load, trying to figure things out, finishing up development, and you are able
• 6:37
  to, you know, kind of make your.
• 6:40
  Your mistakes, you know, even slightly in your 30s, you know, kind of sort out.
• 6:44
  I would somewhat give a pass up to a certain point.
• 6:46
  Once you hit 35, though, you got to know better.
• 6:49
  That's just me.
• 6:50
  I mean, I know Cardi probably ain't 35 yet, but I feel like because it's going on for so long, at some point we gotta just.
• 6:57
  You gotta sis.
• 6:58
  And I'm not even saying it's about letting someone quote Unquote, win.
• 7:01
  It's just knowing that if you're.
• 7:03
  If there's a situation that's not going to be productive, at some point, you just gotta walk away.
• 7:08
  Like, it's people that.
• 7:10
  That I've been in conflict with.
• 7:11
  And again, conflict to me is conflict.
• 7:14
  So I don't think anybody being rich and famous separates a conflict from somebody who's not famous, not rich, you know, what have you, I don't think that separates, you know, celebrities from Average Joe's.
• 7:23
  I think conflict is a very universal concept.
• 7:25
  But.
• 7:26
  But going back to personal experience, there's been people that have been dying for a conflict with me.
• 7:30
  And because I know they're dying for it, because if I don't give it to them, they don't feel like nothing.
• 7:36
  I will purposely starve you out.
• 7:38
  And I just learned that over time back then.
• 7:40
  I wasn't like that back then.
• 7:41
  It was, you could breathe at me.
• 7:42
  Wrong.
• 7:42
  And I'm on your head.
• 7:43
  Like, what are you looking at?
• 7:44
  What are you breathing at?
• 7:45
  Do you have an issue?
• 7:46
  And I realized that's dumb.
• 7:48
  That's dumb.
• 7:49
  And the reason why it's dumb is because sometimes you'll be so about your respect.
• 7:54
  You'll entertain losers to get your respect.
• 7:57
  And everybody that calls you does not deserve an answer.
• 8:00
  At some point, you have to be stingy with your energy.
• 8:02
  And I've had to learn that lesson.
• 8:04
  Everybody that wants a discussion, a conversation, a conflict, a fade, whatever, just because you needed that bad, you're never gonna get it from me.
• 8:11
  You're never gonna get it because I know you desperately need that.
• 8:14
  You need that for me to validate you.
• 8:16
  You need me to feel like you have some kind of way.
• 8:18
  If I could just get her into a situation to where I could just manipulate it.
• 8:22
  No, you there first.
• 8:24
  And I.
• 8:25
  And I'm not gonna do that.
• 8:27
  Not because I'm scared, but because I know you need it and won't be nothing without it.
• 8:31
  Sometimes the best type of conflict is just not getting into it.
• 8:34
  Not because you scared, but because you know they're not worth what you could lose.
• 8:39
  That's the problem.
• 8:41
  And with the social media age, with everything being filmed or having the potential to be public, people don't want to look stupid.
• 8:48
  But my thing is, it's less about looking stupid, which will have you crashing out, because everybody up in the Annie, which is what we're seeing now, it's about what looks better for my peace, what looks better for my
• 8:58
  energy.
• 9:00
  Yes, the crowd can think what they want, but spiritually I'm at better peace than somebody who's going to sit here and wait and pray and hope that I give them what they need in order to feel like there's
• 9:11
  somebody on this earth.
• 9:13
  I don't care about that.
• 9:15
  And then, and usually it will be the ones that have not gotten what they want that'll be the loudest because again, they like to rage bait.
• 9:21
  They're like, if I can just pull you out, if I could pull them out and get them where I need them to be, then I'll be able to control the narrative.
• 9:28
  Look at her, look at them, look how they're acting.
• 9:31
  No, people literally will plot and try to get you in situations like that.
• 9:35
  And once you peep the plot, you got to let them think what they think.
• 9:38
  But you also got to protect yourself in every aspect of the word and make sure that the people around you also understand you are not to be pulled in those situations.
• 9:45
  Cuz also, let's be clear, I would be willing to bet money that is somebody at least, at least one person in each size ear that's encouraging a foolishness.
• 9:56
  And what I had to learn over the years is that person that's going to encourage you to crash out is not your friend, they're not your homie.
• 10:03
  Unless they gonna jump in with you, I ain't gonna hold you.
• 10:05
  You know, back then, you know, you might have a ride or die or, or five.
• 10:08
  And you know, if you was with the mess and they was with you, if something pop off, they was gonna jump in.
• 10:13
  That's a little different than somebody helping to protect and defend you, than somebody that, that's going to let you go crash out by yourself and just watch you crash out.
• 10:20
  Because a lot of times people like to be entertained.
• 10:22
  So when they sit there and encourage you to crash out, to start the conflict, to be messy, to be petty, they're looking to see how much of a show you're going to give them.
• 10:32
  And those people are not folks that care about you or are your friends or your family member or your bestie or whoever like you think they are.
• 10:40
  It's a, oh, look at her go.
• 10:42
  And they probably going to gossip about to somebody else.
• 10:44
  They probably going to tell all your teeth, girl, look at this.
• 10:45
  Girl, look at what this man did.
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  That's how they operate.
• 10:50
  It's a lot of little, little puppet master type people that move like that.
• 10:55
  They like to pull your strings because they know that you trust them and you're not going to question their motives, their agenda.
• 11:01
  Sometimes it'd be the people that's around you that will perpetuate the mess or want you to perpetuate the mess.
• 11:09
  They're probably laid back, so they probably don't even like the drama for themselves, but they'll love it for you.
• 11:14
  Get them, girl.
• 11:15
  Now granted, and when I say defending yourself, right, some people may encourage you to speak up for yourself and advocate.
• 11:21
  So don't think that somebody that's telling you to stand up for yourself and things like that is, is in this category.
• 11:27
  But what I'm speaking to specifically in this category are those who want you to be messy publicly messy.
• 11:36
  People that want you to go off like Cardi and Nikki.
• 11:41
  Those are the ones who want you to be in the mess.
• 11:45
  They want, they want you.
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  You're the show.
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  They may not get in it, but they sure gonna watch you.
• 11:52
  And also, you also got to think about it too when it comes to conflict and things like that.
• 11:58
  Some people not gonna play with you like they want.
• 12:00
  Some people are not going to engage with you verbally, they're not going to engage with you physically, they're not going to engage you spiritually.
• 12:05
  You know what they are going to do?
• 12:06
  They gonna call the law, they gonna call 12, they gonna call the police.
• 12:10
  Okay?
• 12:11
  And if they're not armed, if they're not armed first, because you got to think a lot of states and I'm, and I'm giving this in a very realistic context, right?
• 12:18
  Let's be for real.
• 12:19
  Everybody's not gonna play with you like you think they want to play with you.
• 12:22
  Everybody's not going to engage with you based on how you are wanting to engage with them.
• 12:26
  It's never going to be a hundred percent on your terms.
• 12:30
  You're not going to have the upper hand power wise every time.
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  And that's a risk you take when you engage with somebody that you don't really know well or somebody that you think you know well.
• 12:40
  But you underestimate.
• 12:41
  That is why getting into conflict in these times is dumb.
• 12:45
  Because you don't know how people is coming.
• 12:47
  I know how I'm coming.
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  So instructor how I'm coming, whether I decide to call the law, whether I decide to use my rights, whether I decide to throw you a psalm and wish you the best in life, whatever it is, I know how
• 12:59
  I operate.
• 13:00
  So on the strength of how I operate in terms of defending myself, defending, never offense, it's never offense.
• 13:07
  But the defense can be so strong it could feel and look like offense on the strength of me, how I would defend myself and my family, with my life.
• 13:14
  I never just dumb and dumbly, blindly, foolishly, irrationally, illogically, just jump into conflict because I know me.
• 13:25
  So I just know, like, it would have to be literally something that it was worth the loss that I would take in terms of things that I would have to lose.
• 13:34
  Because I feel like when you get in a conflict with somebody that's.
• 13:37
  That's on a level that is, like, I always look at it as challenger versus champion.
• 13:42
  Obviously, they need to bring it down some notches.
• 13:44
  When you have a conflict with somebody like that, you automatically lose the fact that you even entertained it.
• 13:51
  You automatically lost something.
• 13:52
  If you didn't lose something materially, if you didn't lose something physically in terms of, like, you know, a fight or something like that, if.
• 13:59
  If you didn't lose that way, you're definitely going to lose spiritually because that person got the privilege, the privilege to rattle you for however long it was that you let them rattle them for.
• 14:09
  And that is the disappointing thing about this beef between these two women.
• 14:14
  They're losing something.
• 14:15
  Regardless.
• 14:15
  Spirit, this is not a productive conversation where people airing their stuff out and getting their concerns off.
• 14:21
  No, this is low blow.
• 14:23
  Dragging, bringing kids into the mix, attacking their fans and supporters that may or may not identify with some of the things they've said.
• 14:32
  It's.
• 14:32
  It's.
• 14:33
  It's a loss.
• 14:38
  So, because I'm obviously passionate about standing up for yourself and advocating and being against bullies and things like that, I know some of y' all may try to flip it.
• 14:46
  Oh, they're bullying me.
• 14:47
  No, you gotta remember there was combat at some point earlier in the situation between these ladies.
• 14:51
  Once it has gotten to combat, it's over.
• 14:55
  To me, it's.
• 14:56
  I feel like it's already gotten to a point where it ain't like somebody constantly is being attacked.
• 15:02
  Oh, that person keeps speaking on them.
• 15:03
  Okay, but if the person is speaking on you, is it worth the response?
• 15:09
  It just goes back to what I said earlier.
• 15:11
  I was talking to somebody about this earlier, too.
• 15:13
  They were like, well, that person keeps speaking on them.
• 15:15
  And what you expect her to do, not say nothing?
• 15:17
  Yes.
• 15:19
  At a certain point, especially at a certain tax bracket, who cares what you think?
• 15:27
  Who cares?
• 15:29
  Even if you ain't at that tax bracket, even if you happy in life, you happy with your family or you happy with your career, are you happy with your man or woman or.
• 15:36
  Or a combination of all three, you're happy.
• 15:41
  Who cares what a girl or a guy or whoever, who cares what they got to say about you, who cares?
• 15:51
  You're happy and they still got their mouth on you.
• 15:54
  So what does that mean?
• 15:54
  They're not.
• 15:56
  They're happy, except they're happy with an asterisk.
• 16:01
  They're happy with an exception.
• 16:04
  And the only way that they can get some peace from you is if they disrupt yours?
• 16:11
  Absolutely not.
• 16:12
  So you mean to tell me.
• 16:13
  I told this person this too.
• 16:14
  So you mean to tell me in order for this situation or order for this situation to be favorable, you're telling me that I need to jump down from where I have been chilling at this whole time to go
• 16:27
  ahead and engage so that this person can get the attention that they've been constantly seeking for however amount of time?
• 16:35
  Because that's what it looks like.
• 16:37
  So you mean to tell me that just because this person decides to try to ruin my moment or just because this person tries to break up an announcement or try to break up the.
• 16:45
  The energy that I have going on with the celebration of what I'm doing, you mean to tell me that I got to stop my celebration and my happiness and my peace and my life fulfillment to go sit here
• 16:55
  and entertain somebody who mad.
• 16:57
  I got it.
• 16:58
  No, I'm like, I'm just.
• 17:00
  And again, I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm better than.
• 17:02
  Because like I said, when I was much younger, I would have done that.
• 17:05
  But now that we're grown and we've evolved and we know better.
• 17:08
  No, I'm not doing that.
• 17:09
  I'm not going to sit here and give you some stuff because, like, I'm just.
• 17:13
  It's the.
• 17:14
  And people say that's petty, but I don't think it's petty.
• 17:16
  People gotta understand, right?
• 17:18
  Conflict is a privilege.
• 17:20
  And I know some of y' all gonna be like, what are you talking about?
• 17:23
  Conflict is a privilege.
• 17:25
  It is a privilege for me to engage with you in any way, shape or form, because I don't have to if I'm not paid to do it.
• 17:33
  I don't owe you that.
• 17:34
  I don't have to engage you in any level, shape or form anyway.
• 17:38
  I don't have to do it if I don't want to.
• 17:40
  So in order.
• 17:41
  And people don't understand their energies of privilege.
• 17:43
  So I'm not even talking about just me.
• 17:45
  I'm talking about you too, boo friend.
• 17:46
  Your energy is a privilege.
• 17:48
  And you have the rights, the right to determine where it goes.
• 17:51
  Just because somebody wants it doesn't mean that they have the right to yours.
• 17:55
  You dictated your engagement, your terms.
• 17:58
  If it's not peaceful, then you don't have to engage.
• 18:00
  That's not on the terms you want.
• 18:02
  And what I see with conflict is that a lot of people do not realize that their energy is a privilege and that they have the right to establish the terms of engagement and they have the right to walk
• 18:11
  away.
• 18:11
  But the ego will say, nah, I gotta win this and all prizes ain't worth winning.
• 18:18
  The prize of being who could do the lowest blow, who could get into the conflict.
• 18:21
  No, that's not a prize I'm trying to win.
• 18:25
  I could keep my.
• 18:26
  I could keep my W on the strength of just not giving you any attention.
• 18:30
  I keep my W on the strength of me making sure that I'm good.
• 18:35
  You can suffer.
• 18:36
  Feel how you want to feel.
• 18:36
  It could eat you up at night.
• 18:38
  Can't sleep, can't do nothing.
• 18:39
  You can feel however you want to feel.
• 18:40
  That ain't got nothing to do with me.
• 18:41
  It's none of my business.
• 18:43
  Now, when you start trying to get in my business, that's when you have a problem.
• 18:45
  But I' ma still starve you out.
• 18:48
  Still.
• 18:50
  I found out it's a chick that was asking multiple people different questions about what I had going on within my household.
• 18:57
  And because I know she asking, and she probably listening right now.
• 19:00
  Hey, listening is the thing.
• 19:01
  And I take that.
• 19:01
  Listen all day.
• 19:02
  I'll take that down low.
• 19:03
  Thank you.
• 19:04
  But the minute I found out she was doing that, I mean, that's if she's still listening because I.
• 19:08
  Because she was tapped in for a while now.
• 19:10
  Take that.
• 19:11
  You know what I'm saying?
• 19:11
  That's a benefit.
• 19:12
  But once I found out that person was doing that, I said, cool, because I know you're that desperate to find out, I'm gonna feed you whatever I feel like it.
• 19:21
  If I feel like feeding you anything, if I feel like dropping a bone for you to pick up, by all means, I'll do that, but it'll be on my own terms.
• 19:29
  But you're not worth it, so I won't.
• 19:31
  But just understand, when someone is wanting something from you, you have more power and control over yourself than you think.
• 19:39
  All that.
• 19:39
  Oh, I blacked out at some point.
• 19:41
  No, you didn't.
• 19:42
  And I.
• 19:42
  And the reason why I say that is because before you black out, there was probably about five chances you had.
• 19:49
  And depending on how bad your temple was, you probably had about two.
• 19:51
  There was probably two on the.
• 19:53
  On the low end, five on the high end.
• 19:54
  You had to squash it and walk away.
• 19:57
  And when I say squash it, I Don't mean squash it between the other person because sometimes people don't want to do that.
• 20:02
  I'm talking about squashing it within yourself to be like, you know what, I gotta back out.
• 20:08
  So that's why I'm like, nah, like, no, we have more power over ourselves than we think.
• 20:13
  Sometimes it's easy to do the familiar thing because if you're used to fighting or you're used to being a fighter, invert words or, or whatever it is, or strategic psychological manipulation, whatever it is you, your weapon is in
• 20:25
  terms of fighting with folks you're probably so used to doing that it's probably harder to walk away than it is to just do what you know.
• 20:35
  It's probably easier just to go jump in the mix.
• 20:38
  Russell Tussle.
• 20:39
  Whether it's in the, in the dirt physically or whether you rustling and tussling in the dirt verbally or whether you rustling and tussling in the dirt indirectly through other people, whatever your, your mode is.
• 20:49
  Because everybody has a mode of how they operate in conflict.
• 20:52
  Unless you're a person that's kind of, unless you're a person that's kind of moved around.
• 21:00
  You kind of got different ways depending on situation, depending on whatever, whatever it is you do.
• 21:04
  It's probably easier for you to just not think and go straight to instinct versus just being like, I, I, I don't need to do this.
• 21:11
  I'm going to lose, somehow in this situation, I'm gonna lose my energy that I gave, that I probably could have put into productive things for myself.
• 21:18
  I probably might lose my freedom.
• 21:20
  If I try to fight this person and they call the police on me or they try to press charges, I might end up losing a connection to somebody who was trying to tell me not to do stuff.
• 21:30
  But yet I persisted anyway.
• 21:32
  I might end up losing my job because this person, you know, like, it's just a lot of stuff.
• 21:36
  You get something if I give.
• 21:37
  If you go to jail, you're losing your job.
• 21:39
  Usually I, it's, it's rare I've seen somebody get thrown in jail on a work day and not, and not have drama at their job afterwards, whether they lose it or whether they have an issue because they miss work.
• 21:53
  So I just feel like it's just not worth it.
• 21:55
  But the bottom line is this, right?
• 21:59
  Remember who you are.
• 22:00
  Remember whose you are.
• 22:02
  Remember that.
• 22:03
  And this is just.
• 22:04
  And again, you're gonna probably think that again.
• 22:06
  You're gonna be like, girl, bye.
• 22:07
  I just feel like the way we are in these times right now, this is not the time for petty conflict.
• 22:12
  It's too much conflict outside in the external world, on global levels for you to be having personal turmoil and interpersonal drama and conflict within your own life.
• 22:21
  If anything, this is the time where we start fighting to get joy.
• 22:24
  And what I mean by fighting to get joy is fighting even our own inner impulses or even the impulses of others that want to interrupt that.
• 22:32
  No, get your joy, happiness, regardless of who got a problem with it, regardless of who wants to interrupt it and disrupt it.
• 22:39
  Do your thing and remember to stay protected.
• 22:44
  As far as I know, everybody that has listened to me all over the world believes in something above themselves, a higher power.
• 22:50
  Above themselves.
• 22:51
  Whenever you're starting to feel like you're in a situation where somebody is trying to war with you like that, that's where you tap in with your higher power.
• 23:00
  And again, I'm not going to tell you how to do it because everybody does it in their own ways.
• 23:03
  But that's when you tap into your, your higher power.
• 23:05
  If you got elders, and I don't mean olders, I don't mean messy older people, because those folks are messy.
• 23:12
  I'm talking esteem, respectable wise women or men or whoever that got good advice that have your best interest at hearts, your best interest, they care about you.
• 23:25
  They don't want things to happen.
• 23:26
  They don't want to see you a certain way.
• 23:28
  Good advice there.
• 23:29
  Like I said, you can choose whether you want to follow it or not.
• 23:31
  But again, when somebody is trying to war with you and it's a situation to where you're getting tempted, you're going to have to tap into something greater than you because that, that tapping in could be the difference between
• 23:43
  you ruining your life or you being able to move forward and be productive like you want to be.
• 23:49
  Nobody on this earth, no human, especially no human on this earth because there's nobody above the other.
• 23:55
  When it's all said and done, ain't nobody on this earth worth losing anything you worked hard to achieve for Nobody.
• 24:03
  Nobody.
• 24:04
  And especially over no low level petty word stuff like this, like there's no, there's nothing worth that.
• 24:15
  We're in a society that loves blood, they love death, they love carnage.
• 24:21
  Whether it is literally or figuratively.
• 24:25
  Why would you feed into that?
• 24:27
  Knowing that is how the climate is.
• 24:32
  So if you don't listen to nothing else, I say the bottom line is think before you act.
• 24:37
  Really assess what you got going on.
• 24:39
  A lot of conflict is not worth it when you really sit with it.
• 24:42
  Think about some of the Times you've engaged and you've lost something, think about that.
• 24:47
  Is it worth losing again after everything you worked hard for?
• 24:50
  No.
• 24:51
  Does this person really want a productive conversation or do they just want something to where I'm putting a situation on, some power dynamic, power struggle stuff?
• 25:00
  Do they, do they constant try to get my attention through things?
• 25:04
  You should be able at this point to discern whether something is good for you or not when it comes to somebody that wants to harm you.
• 25:10
  At this point, we should be at the stage where it's like, no, I'm not going to engage with that.
• 25:14
  Once somebody, and this is just my take on it, right?
• 25:17
  Once somebody proves themselves to be unreasonable once at, we're done.
• 25:22
  We ain't even have to start.
• 25:23
  We're done.
• 25:24
  Don't even trip, don't even worry about it, sweetheart, it's over.
• 25:27
  Don't even, it's never going to start.
• 25:29
  Once you prove to be unreasonable once or you're disrespectful once.
• 25:33
  I don't have to engage.
• 25:35
  It goes back to what I said earlier.
• 25:37
  Your energy is a privilege or a right.
• 25:39
  You have the right to be stingy with that.
• 25:40
  And also a caveat to that is that even if people try to give you sound logical, reasonable advice based on what they would do, that don't mean you have to follow it.
• 25:49
  So what I'm saying is it might be logical or sound for somebody that's not in their situation, your situation, in your shoes, to say, oh well, just give it a shot.
• 25:57
  If you know that it's energetically a situation that could be dangerous or could be a situation where you might end up losing something, you don't have to listen to that either.
• 26:06
  It goes back to what you determine is worth the energy or not.
• 26:09
  If you feel like this conflict is worth the energy, okay.
• 26:12
  But understand you got some consequences coming with it.
• 26:14
  You want to deal with that, but if you realize that it's not, you don't have to listen to other people try to convince you to get in situations where you know that it's not going to be energetically or
• 26:24
  spiritually beneficial for you.
• 26:27
  It's all about choice, no matter what.
• 26:30
  Anything I've talked about with my platform has been about the power of choice.
• 26:33
  This is no different.
• 26:34
  You have the power to determine who and what is worth engaging with, but you also have the power to understand the risks you take when you decide to engage with folks that you know ain't worth it either.
• 26:46
  I know it's been a while, y'.
• 26:47
  All.
• 26:48
  Oh, Lord, we're going on 30 minutes.
• 26:49
  Look, let me go ahead and wrap it up here.
• 26:51
  So that is today's episode.
• 26:52
  And yes, I'm very passionate about it because when it comes to conflict, I feel like people jump in because it's the emotional piece and I get it.
• 27:03
  Right?
• 27:03
  Emotions.
• 27:04
  Emotions can sometimes be the matter between life and death for folks.
• 27:08
  I get it.
• 27:09
  But the same time, we have to start balancing this stuff out.
• 27:12
  We are in a stage in a time of life where our emotions are being pulled at every day, purposely and inadvertently.
• 27:22
  And like I said, you have the choice to determine what you're going to engage with.
• 27:28
  You don't have to do this.
• 27:30
  Boo friend.
• 27:31
  And if any of y' all are feeling like y' all about to crash out, I need you to play this episode repeatedly.
• 27:36
  You don't have to do this.
• 27:38
  There's been plenty of people that reached out to me through DMs over the last nine years that have told me, like, yo, I'm about to cuss this person.
• 27:44
  I'm about to do this, that I'm about to crash out.
• 27:46
  Don't do it.
• 27:47
  And there's been times where I've talked them down.
• 27:49
  Now, granted, there's a lot of things going on offline that I've been tending to business wise and things like that.
• 27:55
  So I haven't been able to be as engaged in my DMs like I was in the past.
• 27:59
  But it's like, you know, like, you don't.
• 28:01
  You don't have to do that.
• 28:02
  Get you a voice of reason.
• 28:04
  Somebody who really care about you, who don't want you to crash out, who don't want to see you be entertainment, not even just for them, but just for anybody else that may know somebody that really cares about making
• 28:14
  sure that you're healthy and happy and successful and at peace.
• 28:17
  Talk to them before y' all crash out, okay?
• 28:22
  This is not the time to be putting yourself in situations, to be going to jail.
• 28:26
  This is not the time to be sitting here playing with the legal system on some bs.
• 28:31
  This is not the time to be sitting here having Twitter fingers on the Internet, because it could always escalate you.
• 28:38
  This is just not the time.
• 28:43
  This is the time where you figure out, how are you going to get you and yours through a tumultuous time in American and global history.
• 28:50
  How are you going to get through this with.
• 28:52
  With your sanity intact, with your peace intact?
• 28:55
  As best it can remember, everybody got a choice.
• 29:01
  So with that being said, y', all, it's been A minute.
• 29:03
  I have been busy working on my greatest work thus far, and I'm really excited.
• 29:10
  And when it's time to share the project that I've been working on, I can't wait to share with y'.
• 29:14
  All.
• 29:15
  I'm really excited.
• 29:16
  That's all I can say at this point.
• 29:18
  I know it sounds so vague, like, okay, she's working on something.
• 29:20
  She's been working on something.
• 29:22
  That's all she got.
• 29:23
  Yeah, that is all I have.
• 29:24
  But I am excited, though.
• 29:25
  It's been a really good.
• 29:27
  It's been a really good journey, and I've been really grateful and appreciative.
• 29:31
  I've been, again, just offline.
• 29:33
  Posted a couple things on my story in terms of some updates.
• 29:35
  So shout out to those that was happy, you know, with the updates that I showed.
• 29:40
  So I'm really excited.
• 29:42
  So we're still, you know, doing things.
• 29:44
  I'm still boots on the ground, making sure that folks are getting what they need.
• 29:48
  And I've been really doing that for a while.
• 29:52
  That.
• 29:52
  I mean, that's.
• 29:52
  That's one major thing I have been doing.
• 29:55
  It's just making sure that people are able to get through these type of times as best they can, because these times are a hot mess.
• 30:01
  It's okay to call it what it is.
• 30:02
  It's a lot of weirdness going on.
• 30:04
  So all I'm gonna say is just continue to protect yourself and.
• 30:07
  And shield yourself from the BS accordingly, as well, too, because it's a lot of stuff that can really damage you.
• 30:13
  And what I mean by that is, I'm not trying to speak it over your life, so don't take it that way.
• 30:16
  But what I mean is there's a lot of things that we don't have control over in terms of how we consume.
• 30:23
  Back in the day, used to be the tv, you can just turn the TV off.
• 30:26
  You don't have to look at stuff in the newspaper.
• 30:28
  You don't have to look at that story in the magazine.
• 30:30
  You can throw the magazine away or you can just put it down.
• 30:33
  Now, we have algorithms that feed us content that we didn't even ask for.
• 30:38
  So what I'm saying is, please protect your energy in that regard.
• 30:42
  If you need to deactivate, deactivate.
• 30:44
  If you need to block, please block for me.
• 30:47
  I block very quickly.
• 30:48
  I'm proud of that.
• 30:49
  I don't care if you think you won, baby, you can have it.
• 30:52
  But one thing you're not gonna get is you ain't gonna get a moment from me.
• 30:55
  We are cool on that.
• 30:56
  And I do that in real life, too.
• 30:58
  Once I feel like you're trying to get a moment.
• 30:59
  You're blocked.
• 31:01
  Like, you're.
• 31:01
  Like you're blocked.
• 31:02
  Please take charge of your piece.
• 31:05
  This is the time.
• 31:06
  I've been talking about this for nine years.
• 31:08
  But, baby, this is the time.
• 31:09
  Time.
• 31:09
  Okay.
• 31:10
  This is showtime.
• 31:11
  You might have did a little dress rehearsal nine years ago.
• 31:14
  No, this is showtime.
• 31:15
  It's time to go.
• 31:16
  It's time to put up or deal with the consequence of not being able to put up.
• 31:22
  This is where you start figuring out where your limits are and you start enforcing them boundaries.
• 31:26
  Please do.
• 31:28
  I don't want to see anybody hurt.
• 31:29
  I don't want to see anybody in pain.
• 31:31
  I don't want to see anybody suffering emotionally because of how this climate has been.
• 31:35
  Please, y', all, get your joy.
• 31:37
  Get your happiness in spite of what's going on.
• 31:41
  Because if you let the news and if you let the things go on just constantly rolling your head and you're not finding a way to channel those things as a positive outlets or healthy outlets or even having social
• 31:51
  connection with those that are healthy, that's going to consume you.
• 31:55
  It's going to eat you up.
• 31:57
  Don't let this situation.
• 31:59
  Don't let this climate eat you up.
• 32:00
  Okay?
• 32:02
  Stay healthy.
• 32:02
  Eat better foods if you can.
• 32:04
  Drink more water.
• 32:06
  Tune away from the Internet.
• 32:08
  Turn off the TV sometimes.
• 32:09
  It's so.
• 32:10
  Nothing wrong with being informed, but, you know, everybody got their limits.
• 32:12
  Find your limit and stick to it.
• 32:14
  Go outside, literally, touch grass.
• 32:16
  I know, it's like a shade and the insole and things like that.
• 32:19
  No, that's.
• 32:20
  That's literal.
• 32:20
  Go outside, touch grass.
• 32:22
  Enjoy the sunshine, enjoy your kids.
• 32:24
  If you have kids.
• 32:26
  If you want to do things for you and you want to have hobbies and social lives, go get that.
• 32:33
  Because you're sitting in a bubble.
• 32:36
  It can kind of get claustrophobic at times.
• 32:39
  So be careful, okay?
• 32:41
  So with that being said, I do have an email coming very soon.
• 32:43
  I might just talk about this episode too, because that was.
• 32:46
  It was fun.
• 32:47
  It was definitely inspired by the.
• 32:49
  The drama I saw these last few days.
• 32:51
  I'm really disappointed.
• 32:53
  Again, like I said, I'm not above anything I say, but I just.
• 32:56
  I just don't think this is a.
• 32:58
  And not to mention too, one thing I did want to say is that it also gets weird with the fan bases too, because now you got strangers.
• 33:05
  And this is how parasocial relationships can get dangerous.
• 33:08
  Now you got a situation to where you got a fan base that's finna get it popping online or off about their fave.
• 33:15
  And these faves sometimes have never probably kicked it with them in their house or.
• 33:19
  Well, probably nine times out of 10, they probably haven't even kicked them with them at their house or anything like that.
• 33:24
  To where it's a real personal relationship.
• 33:26
  They're not friends, they're not homies, they're supporters.
• 33:29
  And sometimes this stuff can get very weird.
• 33:31
  And I think because I grew up in that era of Fox vs Kim and E vs Kim as well and Queen Latifa vs Fox, I've just grew up in different female beasts.
• 33:44
  But the one that was the worst was the Kim and Fox and seeing their entourages get into it where there was an actual shootout and things like that, I just see how ugly it's been.
• 33:52
  And I'm sure a lot of y' all of a certain age, millennials, especially millennials and Gen Xers, y' have remembered that.
• 33:57
  So for me, I just think in this time between the mental health crisis that are have been going on for the last 10 years, it seemed like the.
• 34:06
  The decline is just getting worse.
• 34:08
  With the pandemic, it's gotten even more worse.
• 34:10
  To me, I just see the potentiality of how ugly this can get.
• 34:13
  We're also seeing the random acts of violence in random places.
• 34:17
  Two in the last five days.
• 34:19
  Like, this is just not a good look in this climate.
• 34:21
  It's just not.
• 34:23
  So that's why I'm like, nah, I had to get on Mike and say something because.
• 34:26
  Because we see the potentiality of what happens when somebody is pushed hard enough.
• 34:31
  And sometimes they don't even need pushing externally.
• 34:34
  Sometimes they feel pushed internally.
• 34:35
  And that's just how it goes.
• 34:37
  So that's why I'm telling people, be careful, because you don't know how people are coming.
• 34:41
  And also to be careful with your safety.
• 34:43
  You have a choice.
• 34:44
  You keep yourself safe.
• 34:46
  Everybody's not worth the conflict.
• 34:48
  But.
• 34:49
  But, yeah, so I guess we're gonna end it here.
• 34:52
  This has been another episode of Spiritual Homegirl podcast.
• 34:55
  My name is Maria, your spiritual homegirl.
• 34:57
  And remember, boo.
• 34:57
  Friends, trust the journey.
• 34:59
  Trust yourself.
• 34:59
  And whatever you do, do it with love.
• 35:01
  Okay?
• 35:02
  Assessing proper ways to engage or not engage included.
• 35:06
  Okay?
• 35:06
  Love y'.
• 35:07
  All.
• 35:07
  Peace.