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Fuck You: Privilege - And Then What Happens · Let's Get Naked

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, I'm Anne.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another mini episode of Let's Get Naked.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh today we're going to be talking about privilege.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm coming from my POV only, and everyone obviously can come from whatever theirs is.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like as a white woman in America, which is what my POV is, I feel like we're taking a lot of heat for a lot of shit.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and I'm okay with that.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: But also I wanted to speak up and say uh my take on privilege.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: So people do a lot of comparison out there where you're privileged because you have this, or you're privileged because you have that.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your skin is a certain color, and so you're privileged.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, whatever that looks like.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think the comparison game is really dangerous.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna and I'm gonna do a little bit of a show and tell with Casey.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Casey has joined me today.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: So this is my show and tell.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a deck of cards for those that are listening, not watching, and I'm dealing out, you know, a hand of a hand of cards to Casey, and I'm dealing out a hand of cards to me.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we get to this, and I'm gonna use this as this is life, right?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is the life that I was dealt.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And Casey, you can pick your cards up.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is the life that I was dealt.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And there are things that I don't have a choice about, right?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm gonna say, uh, this card represents the fact that I, this is the color of my skin.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just like uh, you know, if you're black, you don't get a choice of what color your skin is.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was born white.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is the the paint job that uh that the big guy decided to give me.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I get, right?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So Casey also has hers.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: She's also white.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that's her card, right?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm uh a woman, you know, how how great or not great is that?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you say like, oh, men have it easier or women have it easier, it doesn't really matter.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I come from that same place of like, okay, if you're a different, if you're different ethnicity or if you have different cultures or if you have different whatever, okay, great.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then what happened, right?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like we can sit around and play the victim card about like, oh, so-and-so had it easier because they were coming from this perspective, or or, you know, you know, for me, one of the cards in my deck is we grew up with no money, opposite of money, right?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: My family was on public assistance for a chunk of time when I was growing up.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, but but that's a card I was telling.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I had two parents that were married and had stayed married the entire time, right?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my dad was uh a farmer and rancher.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember seeing him at all growing up, right?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like he worked every hour every day.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was just how that was.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Except on church, uh church day when we went to church where I could get indoctrinated, which I'm gonna throw that down as a card too, because that was something I had to fucking work through, right?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is the organized religion component of stuff.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sexual trauma, let's throw that right in the in the fucking mix, a load of it.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So let's put two fucking cards in there, right?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is that fair that I should have to have sexual trauma?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And and where does that rank as far as whatever this score is that people are doing for privilege of like, how many points did I get because I was white?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: How many did I get taken away because I have sexual trauma?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: How many did I get taken because I was in an abusive relationship or because um fill in the fucking blank, whatever it is, right?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like for me, the privilege comments and the shit that people come from, it's like I don't know what we're doing out there.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think a lot of people that are other races are saying like white privilege and this and that.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, I was raised with nothing.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up like outside of a town of a couple hundred people in South Dakota.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll show you pictures of where I fucking came from.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's pretty sad.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's shocking.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's shocking, right?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's shocking.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, I don't really feel like I had privilege.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not coming from this ding-dong place where it's like I don't think that maybe white people have things easier than black people doing certain, you know, circumstances and situations.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ignorant to the fact that that that is a real thing, and I totally understand that.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And also, okay, great.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then what happened?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so it's like, okay, I've got these cards that I'm dealt, and some of them I can fix, right?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them I can say, okay, I know what to do with sexual trauma.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna fix that card and get it that the fuck out of here.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be things where it's like, okay, I was dealt a bad hand when it came to um the economic status that I was growing up.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: I always knew that I didn't want to live like that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like that drove a lot of my choices for a long time.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have money.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Excellent.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I I worked to have that, then nobody handed that to me.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I worked really fucking hard for the money that I have.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, no problems.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to do that, right?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal: your life isn't going to magically fix itself.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's coming to save you.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you can learn how to save yourself.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this book is.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's a no BS guide to stop outsourcing your happiness, stop making excuses, and start living with purpose.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you're tired of waiting for someday, consider this your wake-up call.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Someday of today.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Get your copy of the Lifehack Playbook on Amazon or on the podcast website, let's get nakedpodcast.com.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you get to do that and maybe take different cards back.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's certain cards you get to trade in, but there are cards that you don't get to trade in.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: This card that is my skin color, there's nothing I can do about it.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking love all colors.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I love all people.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: I we are human and I want to connect from that place.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't think the right thing to do is to take heat from everybody else that says, fuck you, because you're white.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get to choose that.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there's not a solution associated with comparing that about what color of skin you come from.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then what happened?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna fucking do about it, right?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna do about the fact that I was poor, that I was sexually traumatized, or that I was fill in the blanks of whatever the things are.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: We all have different ingredients that make up our recipes, right?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Which means we have it easier in some areas than we do in other areas.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that my parents were married and still are to this day gives me an advantage and makes it easier for me than maybe someone who didn't have uh both parents, right?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: My parents, while they disciplined us in ways that maybe today would make people cringe and call the police.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we didn't feel like that was necessarily abuse.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: We felt like we were being disciplined.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and so you can look at that however you want to.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do you compare that to someone who um maybe lived in foster homes and had uh adults put cigarettes out on their skin as a form of discipline, right?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's all of that stuff that happens out there.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: How do you compare something as far as privilege is concerned to a girl that grew up with her dad raping her, right?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh like where do you, where do you say, like, oh, I have it worse than you do?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Where's the scale?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because everyone's is different.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so we can spend as much time as anybody wants to, but I think it's a waste of fucking time.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a waste of time to say, here are my ingredients, here are your ingredients, let me see which ones I don't think are fair.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't think for the for the most part, people are really interested in trading their problems for someone else's.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can look from the outside and say, oh, someone that has money has it easier, or someone that is in better shape has it easier.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'll maintain, I had to do a lot of things to get to where I am right now.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Things that other people would not do, prices that other people would not be willing to pay.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't look at other people that have more than me, or look at people that have things different than me and go, oh, I wish I had that.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: If it's something that I want that that bad, then I'll do things about it.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we come from this place where it's so sensationalized to talk about, oh, what so-and-so has and what's happening with this for racism and what's happening for this.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, and then what happened?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm not interested in paying for something that I didn't do.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I treat everyone equally, and that's how I live in my life every day.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I make certain that I don't associate with people that come from any different perspective.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think most people come from that, from that vantage point, but it's not part of the solution to beat people up and motherfucker people to death because you think someone is privileged over you because of whatever the reason is.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's no comparison.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like what what what what is what's the point system?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: What's the point system?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you win if you're the least privileged person?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have stories from people that come from all walks of life, all races, all gender, all the things that have succeeded and those that have held the hand that held them down and fucking stayed exactly where they started.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's no rhyme or reason to any of that other than how many victim cards do you want to play?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you get dealt that victim card, get it the fuck out of your hand as soon as you can.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you come from a place where you want to fucking beat people up because of privilege, fuck you.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all we're gonna say about that.