Latest / Unstoppable Success Podcast / 10 - Empowering Teams: The Role of Language and Connection in Leadership with Vesta's Mandy Pullen Barr

Transcript

10 - Empowering Teams: The Role of Language and Connection in Leadership with Vesta's Mandy Pullen Barr · Unstoppable Success Podcast

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Influential leaders and their game-changing insights.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jacques Committer, CEO and founder of Leap Tier Success.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's LeapTear Success.com.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: We help entrepreneurs, leaders, and CEOs grow their business and become unstoppable high achievers and their careers in life.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Giving up 1% at it.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: We believe everyone to lead to their greatest success.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Not only their life, but the lives of the people they so stick around to the end of the show, and we will share with you how you can be our next guest.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: So stick around to the 15 to 20 minutes.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be unstoppable.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everybody! Oh my god, I'm so excited for today's podcast.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome to the Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight Podcast, where we hear from influential leaders and their game-changing insights.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jacqueline Strominger, your host, and today I want to welcome our amazing guest, Mandy Pullen Barr, my dearest friend from the other side of the coast.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: I am so excited to have her on.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: So a little bit of background.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: So she's going to tell you her story, but I want to share our connection.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Mandy and I met, God, it was eight years ago, which is crazy when I think about that.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: And we were when I was doing a totally different business, network marketing, and we became fast friends.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she is just the most amazing person, but also she is just she exudes leadership and authority and is just somebody who I look at as being smart, intelligent, and somebody who's just out there making a great journey and impact on the world.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: With that, welcome, Mandy.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, my friend.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing when you hear someone else speak life into you and how it's a combination of feeling slightly embarrassed, right?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then taking a moment and just feeling appreciation for the fact that's how others might see you.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say thank you.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: You filled my cup today.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is I think that's really important, whether we're talking about leadership or we're talking about friendship, that when you leave a conversation or a meeting or a get together with somebody that you leave fuller than when you came.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: That is, I I think that's a I think that's such a key thing about leadership, as you were saying.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever that person is, you always, when you walk into their office or when you sit down and meet with them, you don't want that feeling of trepidation.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: You want to know that like the person that you're going to be meeting with somebody that when you do, when you walk out the room, you know that you're gonna you're gonna either feel the same or you're gonna feel better.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because they no matter what the circumstances are and how they communicate with you, they're communicating at such a way that you still feel good.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a put down.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And isn't that such a sad state of affairs that we automatically default to this place of, ooh, I got called to the office.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I must have done something wrong.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or uh-oh, I'm gonna be let go.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And those were the things that ran through my mind when I was in corporate America.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because you never got called into your leader's office, your manager's office to be told that you were doing a job well done.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was usually because there was something that wasn't to their liking or they wanted something different.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And rather than just having those correction conversations, like on an ongoing basis, that it needs to be in this sit-down environment because it doesn't allow you to correct it as it's happening, right?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: It it puts you in a position of, okay, I can't do anything about that now.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, and that's so that would be something that I would say to anybody and to all the listeners, think about that thought about when you how can you do more praise and recognition versus and giving more of the job well done and high fives versus oh we need to talk about that because it is it because the nothing we can't we're all human first and foremost, and so if it's how somebody handles a mistake or something that maybe not has maybe wasn't done to somebody else's liking, it's how we communicate that is so important, and communication it's it's the root of the way we feel.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So if you can make the person who is your partner, your team member understand something in such a way that they can learn from it, but still do it with praise.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: What's the statistic?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is it for every one corrective action you want someone to take that you have to speak five to is it two?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Two to five.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: All right, two to five.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: If it's like for every it's it's also something that you need to tell yourself.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: So if for every time that you tell yourself something bad, oh crap, I did this wrong, or I could have done that better, then you need to tell yourself two positives because you got to remember the positives, the positives need to outweigh the negatives.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Something I don't know if I've ever shared this with you, something I do every morning is a gratitude list, and I share it with three other women, and it is always a way for me to start my day off reflecting on the things that went well or things that I appreciate from the day before.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And every once in a while I'll say that I'm looking forward to something that was happening that day.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it really sets me up in this place of gratitude for my life.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I feel like I show up more powerfully rather than showing up with this impending doom of what's about to happen for the day.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's such a simple practice, but I really think that it has helped me shift my mindset on a daily basis.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually that's a huge and that's a great practice to get into.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one of those things, whether you're doing it in the morning or you do it at the end of the day, to get into that habit of saying, you know what?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: When I put my head down on the pillow, I am thankful for.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or you get up in the morning and you can think what you are thankful for, or what, or and even to think about somebody that you're grateful for, or like it's like when you put it out there in the universe, it's amazing what happens.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Sharing a positive thought towards somebody too in your morning, and it really does, it goes a long way, and that's such a great practice.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad that you shared that.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, thinking about your journey in leadership, I'm really curious.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have a defining moment, or is there a defining moment that uh changed the way uh you look at leadership and the way you lead?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, honestly, I think it's just the school of hard knocks.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And who I was at a le as a leader in my 20s and 30s is completely different than who I am today.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that there are some people, so but prior to coming to Vesta, I had a long career in contract food service management.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I did that for 25 years, and I did love my time working in a kitchen.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: There is something magical about it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: The teams that you create, the the close relationships, the energy, the hum of a kitchen really is magical.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is also really toxic.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it is back, it's set back in the 70s in terms of what you're allowed, what you get can get away with in terms of language and the way that people speak.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: But that all aside, I think that I don't think I was a compassionate leader when I was younger.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because I didn't have life experience, right?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't gone through the death of a parent, I hadn't gone through a divorce, I hadn't had the challenges of making ends meet and not sure how I was gonna buy groceries that week.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think through all of my licks, if you will, that I've gotten in life, it's helped me become more humble and it's helped me lead from a place of kindness and compassion rather than be this crazy taskmaster and goal, et cetera.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Those are all still super important, but it has to come from aligning from my values within.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's language that you speak of because I've attended some of your courses, which are amazing, where you're talking about those values and getting in touch with what speaks to you and and how do you, how is what you're doing aligning with your values?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's interesting what you were, it was as you were speaking, I was thinking about the leader that you the person you were before and the person you are today.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: We're always, as I always say, we're all whips, right?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: We're all works in progress, right?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: So the leader that we start out at obviously can change because of the experiences that we have.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's it's whether it's an experience, it could be another leader who we had that was leading us, and we were like, ooh, I like that, or oh no, not gonna do that way.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so that you start to mold you and your leadership around again, the things that you liked and the things, the good things that you liked, and you can take from others and things that you've learned, and things that you want to throw out the door.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: No, and I definitely have had the fortune of having some pretty amazing leaders throughout my life.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never forget being terrified.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Bruce Buckley, I was in my mid, no, what I was in my early 30s.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was right before I got pregnant with Michael, and I had made a pretty large mistake and a financial one.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: So making that call on a seven o'clock on a Friday night to report my numbers.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was terrified.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I I clear as day remember pacing back and forth in the front of the cafeteria I was working at Simmons College at the time.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I called him, I told him what happened, and I was honest and told him exactly what I did.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And he paused and he said, You know what, kid?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Education's expensive.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna do that again?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I said, No, sir, I will not.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, All right, then we'll just chalk this up as one of your lessons, and that was it.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know what?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have got to file that away in the event that happens, and I'm in his position, and and so on.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that was that just gave me the chills.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: That is yeah, because there are so many great things about that, yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's not berating somebody because for a mistake that they did, right?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can't take it back, and it's something to learn from, you won't do that again, right?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And he told me that later on that he would much rather know what the problem is as soon as it happens, so we can figure out how to deal with it, right, than have the problem be hidden, not be informed by it, right?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it creep up at a later date.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that leading with honesty for myself in that moment was was a benefit.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and there's something about that too.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's and it goes back to that first thing what we were talking about, like walking into somebody's office and having that feeling of oh, negativity, is that you we always want to be honest, but and I and I will say it's hard because we're because the person that we're trying to share the information to, how they react and how they communicate really can stop that oh shit like feeling, right?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so if everybody could say, okay, guess what?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody tells you the honest mistakes and praise the person for being honest and thank them for the honesty, and it's like the same thing with your kids.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking as you were saying this, and I had this thing Warren, my our my son shared something about how he did it on an exam.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: He did as well as he wanted to, and I'm not gonna get mad at him because it's not gonna help.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: He and I just said, So what are we gonna do the next time?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I need to do this.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you how can you take those things and make them learn lessons of learning?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think the other piece of the puzzle is that just like you can't manage your children all the same, right?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're so different in terms of who they are as humans.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can't manage your team, you can have expectations for your team or goals for your team, but you you know how you communicate and how you speak to one person, you may have to adjust it for somebody else on their on your team, depending upon how they process information, you know, how they receive feedback.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's something that's really important as a leader is it not you adjust yourself, right, for your team.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that that's a really key part of I think of leadership.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: And and we've talked about this, is knowing as a leader of a team, knowing that you have a vision for your team, right?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: But then also getting to know the vision of the people that are on the team and where do they fall within that, right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: So that you can bring out the best in them.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you and I may be on the same team, but we may have different visions for our life and where we want to go.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: So you so as a as the leader or the manager or however or the VP or director, whatever you want to call that person who's in charge, they need to know they need to know us and what our goals are individually to help us reach that.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and know that yeah, how I speak and how you speak are different.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And we talk a lot about finding and helping each person find their own voice, right?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: In actions and words and skills, or everyone's gotta have their own voice.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, for sure.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And something that happened this week that I was so touched by.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was sharing, we're launching some new programs with Investa, and I was sharing some status updates with the team.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: We have a monthly call, and I said, It just seems, and I guess I must have had a tiny bit of defeat in my voice.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, everything just seems to take so long.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And she replied, but don't give up, you're almost there.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it was the sweetest like message.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then after we got off the call, it just stayed with me all day.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I actually had to send her a message um the next morning, and I just said, I want you to know you're gonna be in my gratitude list because those because your team can also speak words of life and affirmation into you as the leader as well, right?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, and it's that's really true.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, speaking of that, so when you're thinking about teams, what is something that you find has helped you create the positive culture and even the culture of performance in the people that you lead?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think that you hit on it just a couple of minutes ago is understanding what their goals are.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because just because we're all on the same team doesn't necessarily mean that we all have the same long-term career goals for ourselves.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: So understanding goals, understanding values, going back to that assessment that you do in your programs and understanding what people's values are, and also understanding where people thrive, where do people excel, and letting them lead, lean into that.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps where they may not be strong, there's somebody else on the team that can take on that task.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's, and I'm not saying that we don't work to improve the skills that we're not as proficient in.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, some somebody said, you know what, yeah, I could probably fix the leaky faucet, but why wouldn't I spend my time and my energy bringing in somebody that is an expert at that, right?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: So using your expertise, it's a it comes down to efficiency, really, because you're somebody who is accelerates at a task, having them do it and do it better and quicker, and dividing it out, dividing things out that way.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I think do you think that also brings out certain kind a certain amount of joy in in what people do?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could my I a lot of times because it's a strength, we like that doing that, whatever that is, yes, job, whatever task.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I'm doing more things that bring me joy, and you like the things that I'm weak at or that don't bring me joy, then we make a great team, right?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like finding like figuring out the puzzle, yeah.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And where does everyone and that's and I think that's when you build a team, having everyone that's just like you at the end, it may be great to have like coffee and chat, but but in terms of getting things done, like maybe not the greatest because I'm I my style in my personal life and professional, not maybe not as much anymore, is I jump and then I figure out figure it out on the way down.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's terrifying to other people.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're building a team, you don't want to have a hundred people that are all jumping, right?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: You want some people that are like, wait, hold on, let's figure out process here before we jump.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay, you figure out process and I'm gonna take the action.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it is.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think one of the biggest things about that, what you just said is we all people have said you can't have you can't have of a a pool of all chiefs.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: You have to have you have to have a mix of people that do want to have different skill sets, right?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: But one of the things one of the things that I think is really important is to not confuse skill set with values.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like you we were talking earlier about values, because I think you can bring people into an organization and there needs to be some base value that underlying value that people have so they fit within the organization in general, but their skill set is different.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's a really good point.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that when we different because within the Vesta organization, we have our core like Vesta internal team that does all the stuff to make the machine run.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then we have the team of professionals, which I'm so glad that you're part of.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when that's a different level of team, right?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And we ask that all the professionals that come into the organization have a certain level of values, but how you run your practice or your business may be different than how we do ours, but our values are aligned.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and values they really do matter.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: It really it's amazing what it can do because it's in that so.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thinking about that, because values I think also bring in emotions there, they can get tied to emotions.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so thinking about that, you've heard people talk about leadership and emotional intelligence.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious, how do you feel that plays and how does it influence your ability to lead teams, your team?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I even when I wasn't, even in my younger years as a leader, when I maybe wasn't as compassionate as I am today, I do feel that I've always had this level of empathy and ability to know like something is off.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like something's not quite right with this person today, or this situation, or the the vibe of the room.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I I tend to just lean into that gut feeling of when something just doesn't feel right.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And nine times out of 10, more than nine times out of 10, 99% of the time I'm spot on, even if it's something small, like something happened in somebody's personal life or something happened in their family, and they're just like they're just showing up different.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think that what I have really tried to dial into is do I have to say something just because something isn't exactly how it was, does it really need to be addressed by me or not?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes people aren't comfortable with getting into what might be going on, right?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: If they show up to a meeting and they're more withdrawn and they're not engaged in um the discussion like they usually are, for instance, or if they're presenting at a webinar and their presentation isn't as tight as it was months before, right?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like trying to discern does that require me to say something or not?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: And is it just that every once in a while we have off days?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: But actually acknowledging it so that the person they don't have to talk about it.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe do you do you think even just acknowledging it so that they, the people on your team or whomever, like has that connection feeling, like that it like knows, like, oh, you know what?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: But not in a bad way.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's more as as a way to be like, hey, whatever's going on, even just acknowledging, hey, something may seem seems a little different for you today.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Just want to let you know I'm here.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I think that it will ultimately come down to my relationship with that person.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that if it was someone like you, where we have a very close relationship, I certainly would say something.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: If it's somebody that maybe I'm still in that establishing relationship, I may just make note of it and file it away.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then just, you know, it I think it depends upon because I think that it is an intimate thing when you ask someone, and not everyone always wants to engage in that way.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: They don't that kind of goes down to the values, right?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe that's not a value, like connecting um on a deeper level with a colleague, maybe isn't as important as it is for me.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because connection, if I feel connected to someone, I'm gonna stay up until 11 o'clock at night to get something done for you because I said I was gonna get done for you.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: But if I don't have that connection, then it can wait till tomorrow.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, and part of it is it's like it's the connection that you have with somebody and the willingness it is to actually put in that extra effort for them, which actually goes back to the leader and getting to know if you're trying to get things from your team or have your team perform, what's their what is their stake in it and how do they feel connected to that type of a project or work that they're doing?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: So lots of different places that you work, experience.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a time, and I'm gonna call it a game-changing time, where you faced a significant either resistance or failure that really then transformed you into that into a leadership win, into a win.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, probably would have to say the because I've been with I've been with Vester for a long time, and I've always wanted, I call it a seat at the table.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I realized that as long as I was caring for my mom on the level that I was caring for her when she was living in our home, I couldn't show up the way that the organization needed me.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know how someone's gonna feel when they hear that, that oh, that's not right.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, like when you are in a role where you are strategically thinking about the where an organization is going or trying to run the day-to-day of the operation, you have to be all in, you can't be half in, right?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that when the time came and we had to we had to move my mom into a home, I knew that was the moment where I could start to show up, even though I wasn't given any new title or anything.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: I had to change how I showed up so that the organization could see me in that light, and then be awarded that position.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I think so many times people want it before proving that they can do it, right?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think for some extent, I probably had that mindset a little bit too.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until I realized, hey, I have to show up how it's like the cliche thing, dress for the job that you want.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it's almost well, show up for the role that you want, behave in that capacity.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: And there were times where I'd say, what would a leader, what would someone in the C-suite, how would they handle this situation?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: And having to change my mindset around it.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is really what like changed things for me is acting as if, asking, acting as if I already had the job and doing the tasks that maybe weren't necessarily assigned to me, but I knew were required of this role.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And luckily everything worked out.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna share, I think that's such a game-changing insight.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think recognizing that first and foremost.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: So kudos to you and like big, like if you could pat yourself on the back, pat yourself on the back, because that is a huge thing to to recognize first and foremost in yourself that like the place you were and the place you wanted to be, sometimes it's sometimes we everybody's journey is different.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: So your journey there, you have you we have to go through certain things.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: But recognizing that was so important.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's something as people are listening to this, something to really understand.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you are somebody in a leadership position and you keep looking and dreaming of this other position that you want, or you you want to level up and you want to get to this other position, think about what it is that's maybe holding you back, what's getting in the way, and if there is something that's getting in the way that maybe you cannot change right now, it whether it's something that's happening at home, or maybe it is something that's even something that's happening at work, but how can you look at that, realize it, and then say, okay, I can make a choice right now.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: My focus needs to be I I can't be all in because of this stuff, or I can decide if I am gonna be all in, something else is gonna have to change.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: And what is that?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the other big realization for me is that I have to be constantly learning and evolving and pushing myself to to be better.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I have secretly been attending all these coaching courses because is it because I want to do one-on-one coaching?
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, maybe, but more importantly, because the skills that I'm learning allow me to engage with my team better.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: It allows me to engage with my professionals better, it allows me to engage with our divorcing community better and be able to guide them along the road, right?
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: To help them get maybe not steering, but putting bumpers on, right?
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: To help them get to their their desired outcome.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think that staying curious and asking questions is also super, super important.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is asking the right questions and being curious, not just about what you can learn, but about the people on your team and what they can do.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: And and something that you just said about learning, even though you're you said that you're secretly doing it, I think that's something that should be out in the open.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: As leaders, and if you're the CEO, the VP, uh, have a team asking people, like it's it's investing in the people on your team feel that that they're being invested in.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: It actually makes them feel really good because we should, we always need to be learning.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: How can you help the people on your team always be learning?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's really true.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I will sometimes sprinkle in nuggets with them like on the in an internal, but in terms of it being like an outward, an outward thing, I just I guess I I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm looking to have I'm looking to start something new, right?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it because it's really I'm doing it for my own personal development.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's yeah.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the the other part of it too is that working with our our community of professionals, there is a good amount of coaching that goes into it in terms of, hey, this is what works well in our model, and I can help you, I can help you get there.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: So in that aspect, so you're taking these, and so this kind of leads me into my next question, which is what aspects of leadership are you working on?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and what's what are you how are you challenging yourself to grow in that area?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: So right now the courses that I'm taking are really all around how we use language and how we how we think about something, right?
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then how can we reframe it so that it has a a more positive lens, or how can we reframe it so that we're not coming from a victim place, we're coming from a we're coming from a place of empowerment.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's really powerful.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: Some of this, some of the stuff that I've and I've just started to scratch the surface of it, but it's I'm loving it.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really helpful because I believe that the words that we use matter.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: The words that we use for ourselves, the words that we use with the people that we're in relationship with, and the words that we put out into the to the world, to the universe.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Mandy, I love this.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: You are absolutely amazing.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: You and thank you.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: And for our listeners, how can people find you?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: How can people connect with you?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Please share.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the best way to, if you're interested in learning more about Vesta as an organization, whether you're impacted by divorce or perhaps you're a professional that would like to have your services befeatured.com is the best place to find me.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to connect with me personally, all my social handles are Mandy Pullen Barr.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you, Mandy.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: And from listeners, please follow Mandy, check in with her, find her on all the socials, and definitely check out what Vesta is doing.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: They are an amazing company and really helping so many people navigate through divorce or maybe choose not to divorce, but better and do it with I don't know from the heart.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for being used and thank you guys for listening to the Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight podcast.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jaclyn Stromager, and I want to thank you so much for listening to the Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight, Influential Leaders and Their Game Changing Insights podcast.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you are a successful CEO, entrepreneur, or leader in your industry, and you have insights you would like to share, we want you to be a guest on this program.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: So please visit go.leaptiersuccess.com slash podcast.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have gotten something out of this interview and you'd like to share the episode on social media, just go ahead and take a screenshot with your phone and text it to a friend who on social.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: If you know somebody who'd be a great guest, please type them on social media and let them know about the show.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: Unstoppable and your guests.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: So we are putting up new episodes and content.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: So please make sure you don't miss any episodes and go ahead and hit subscribe.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: Your thumbs up.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Reading and reviews come along the way to help promote the show.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe so much to me and my team.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: You wanna know more about the podcast or about leapture success?
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Just go to the website leapturesuccess.com or follow me, Jacqueline Strominger, on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like in my name, chocolate J A C H.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: Strominger at T R M I and T-E-R.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: And follow me on all the social.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for listening.