Latest / LIVING WITHOUT FEAR / 143. Living Without Fear - Why You Keep Questioning Yourself — And How to Stop | With Esther Buerki

Transcript

143. Living Without Fear - Why You Keep Questioning Yourself — And How to Stop | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

• 0:00
  There was a time in my life when I questioned myself far less.
• 0:06
  Back then I was employed. I was a journalist, a
• 0:10
  communication specialist, I had a title, a structure, a clear
• 0:16
  role. And then I became self-employed,
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  and suddenly the questions got louder.
• 0:26
  Hello, beautiful soul. I'm Esther, your host, speaking
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  to you from Switzerland. And today I want to talk about
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  something so many of us live with quietly, this constant
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  questioning of ourselves. Do you know that feeling, that
• 0:48
  inner voice asking, am I doing the right thing?
• 0:53
  Shouldn't I be further by now? Why does this still feel hard
• 1:01
  sometimes? We question ourselves so often
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  that we get tired of our own thoughts.
• 1:10
  Not because we are weak, but because we care.
• 1:16
  Some years ago, I wanted to create an online course and I
• 1:22
  thought about the topic for a long time.
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  Too long maybe. Then I finally created it and
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  had to promote it. Something inside me got
• 1:37
  exhausted and then a deeper question showed up.
• 1:44
  Should I continue coaching people who want to write books
• 1:50
  or should I work with people on their mindset?
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  Because here's what I realised. If someone doesn't have the
• 2:01
  mindset to move through challenging times, they won't
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  finish their book. They'll doubt every word, every
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  step, every decision. So I made a decision, I choose
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  to to become a mindset coach to help people release anxiety and
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  fear, to help them move towards their dreams with steadiness and
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  trust. And honestly, this is what I am
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  up to now, heartfully and happily.
• 2:43
  And yet, even now, there are days when I catch myself
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  questioning again. And this is the heart of today's
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  episode. Asking questions is not wrong,
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  but the quality of the questions matter.
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  There are questions that empower us, and there are questions that
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  slowly drain our energy. For example, if you've already
• 3:20
  made a decision, asking yourself again and again, why am I even
• 3:28
  doing this? It's not a very intelligent
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  question. It pulls you backward.
• 3:37
  A more powerful question will be how can I make today successful
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  with the decision I already made?
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  Or how can I enjoy this process more?
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  Feel the difference. One question tightens your
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  chest, the other opens it. For many years I was focused
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  almost only on the result, the end call, the destination.
• 4:12
  I'd wake up in the morning and ask myself, why am I still
• 4:19
  struggling? Why am I not there yet?
• 4:25
  And without realizing it, I was putting myself into a state of
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  pressure and self blame before the day had even begun.
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  So let me ask you this gently. Are your doubts coming from
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  intelligent questions? Or are they part of an old game
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  you play with yourself, asking the wrong questions and then
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  punishing yourself for the answers?
• 5:00
  For decades, I lived in that vicious circle, and I couldn't
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  see it. Working with a Tony Robbins
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  coach helped me understand this deeply, not by changing my
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  goals, but by changing my questions.
• 5:23
  Another big shift for me was releasing FOMO, the fear of
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  missing out. Everywhere I looked, there were
• 5:34
  three webinars, programs, promises, make money faster, get
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  more clients, be more visible. And I felt stressed, as if I had
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  to catch everything, as if missing one opportunity meant
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  failing. I listened to many thought
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  leaders. I gathered information.
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  But instead of clarity, I felt scattered.
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  I lost my focus. I lost myself in the details.
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  Do you know that feeling? Today, those offers still appear
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  in my feet. But now I pause and I ask myself
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  a different question. Does this support my bigger
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  purpose? Does this strengthen my focus or
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  steal my energy? Sometimes the answer comes
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  quickly, sometimes it needs silence.
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  But I choose the answer that brings peace, not fear.
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  And this is one of my biggest recommendations for you.
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  Name the fear. When you recognise formal as
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  formal, it already loses power. Awareness gives your power back
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  to you. Here are a few more gentle
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  practices that help me, and maybe they'll help you to start
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  your day with 1 grounded intention, not ten goals.
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  Measure progress by presence, not productivity.
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  Celebrate consistency, not perfection.
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  And when you doubt shows up, ask Is this question helping me move
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  forward or holding me back? You don't need to eliminate
• 8:02
  doubt, you need to lead it. And remember this, you're not
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  behind, you are not broken. You are becoming.
• 8:16
  Sometimes clarity doesn't come from thinking more, but from
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  trusting what you already know in your body.
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  And if you feel like you'd love support on that journey, Ioffer
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  free coaching sessions. A safe space to entangle doubts,
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  soften fear, and reconnect with your direction.
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  You'll find the link in the show notes.
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  Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening with
• 8:56
  your heart. New episodes are released every
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  Thursday and until then, be gentle with yourself.
• 9:08
  You are already on your way. Yeah.