Latest / Honey Badger Radio / What need is modern psychology ignoring in boys? | HBR talk 281

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What need is modern psychology ignoring in boys? | HBR talk 281 · Honey Badger Radio

• 0:00
  Welcome to Technical Difficulties with the Badgers, otherwise known as what need is modern
• 0:07
  psychology ignoring in Boys, I'm your host Hannah Walla here with nonsense annihilator Lauren
• 0:13
  Brooks and the personification of perceptivity Mike Stevenson, and Tonight, if we don't
• 0:20
  have any further technical difficulties after Discord decides to update at the stupidest time and
• 0:26
  obs decides to change all my settings, we're going to continue examining this nineteen
• 0:31
  sixties case study that we began looking at in September. But before we get
• 0:36
  to that, we gotta do what we gotta do. As always, Honey
• 0:40
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  all of our content, as well as a link to feed the Badger dot
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  com in the drop down menu at the top of the page. So we've
• 1:42
  been looking at this video for for a couple of shows and something that I
• 1:48
  kind of thought of. Much of the field of psychology has historically been about
• 1:53
  the study and practice of identifying and meeting human needs where deficiencies in a person's
• 2:00
  experience have led to maladaptive behaviors like the violence is being addressed in this boy
• 2:07
  or you know, social withdrawal, addiction, all the different things criminal behavior.
• 2:15
  A lot of those come from, you know, either deficiencies in people's
• 2:21
  experiences or things that have happened to the individual where they've experienced something they shouldn't
• 2:30
  have, something like violence in their home and so on. So this necessarily
• 2:36
  involves understanding childhood development. And it's known today that quite a bit of what
• 2:43
  happens to you health wise as an adult is related to your early childhood development
• 2:49
  and your early childhood experiences. They've they've found, for instance, that living
• 2:53
  in a violent environment will actually shorten the telomeres of your DNA. They're sort
• 3:01
  of the cushion that keeps your DNA from making bad copies. And as you
• 3:06
  age and those get shorter, you are more and more likely to have tissue
• 3:13
  that is dysfunctional. Tissue that is like maybe your connective tissue is not as
• 3:17
  stretchy and not as flexible. It's why you get skin wrinkles and stuff like
• 3:22
  that. It's why you get joint damage as you get older. And those
• 3:25
  things happen sooner to people who have grown up in violent environments than people that
• 3:30
  didn't. So there's a lot that happens in your childhood that has impact well
• 3:36
  beyond what we would have expected if we'd never studied it. And in this
• 3:40
  case, you know, they're looking at childhood development in the same manner.
• 3:46
  But what did nineteen sixties psychologists understand specifically about boys development that the field is
• 3:53
  missing today, and so we're gonna we're going to continue to look at how
• 4:00
  the psychologists were advising the boy's mother and see if we can ascertain that.
• 4:08
  So I'm gonna go ahead and start the video. Are you guys, Mike
• 4:12
  and Lauren, are you guys able to see the live stream? Yes?
• 4:15
  Okay? Good? Good? Seeing this guy doing his own face right now,
• 4:19
  right right. I'm about to hit play, and it should. The
• 4:30
  doctor must see the problem as the mother feels it. I'm trying to get
• 4:34
  at your feelings and you seem to be hiding them and covering them up,
• 4:39
  because I would expect that you would be either very angry with your husband or
• 4:43
  very sad and hurts that you lost because you said you don't like to be
• 4:46
  a loser. No, I don't, But what happens when you are a
• 4:48
  loser, Because here is a situation where you are a loser. You've been
• 4:55
  a loser with your six year old child for a long time, that's what
• 4:58
  you're telling me. When I lived, when I saw you going out skating,
• 5:02
  he was supposed to stay in bed. Your husband let him go,
• 5:08
  and you lost on that occasion. What is it that you're feeling inside you
• 5:15
  sadness, sadness more than anger. Yeah, which, so there we have
• 5:24
  parents and not being on the same page with with regard to the child,
• 5:30
  and that one, that one kind of strikes me because when I mean,
• 5:34
  you know, my husband and ir parents, we have that happen, like
• 5:39
  we have to talk it out. It's and you know, I learn why
• 5:44
  he's on a different page than I am, and he learns why I'm on
• 5:46
  a different page than he is. And there's been times in our history as
• 5:51
  our kids were growing up that I was wrong and had to had to say
• 5:58
  okay, okay, yeah, you're can't argue with that. And then there
• 6:02
  are times when there were things he didn't know or things that I was able
• 6:08
  to draw to his attention that he thought, well, maybe you know,
• 6:10
  my idea was better. And so we've compromised back and forth on stuff like
• 6:15
  that, and the kids did see us doing that back and forth like that.
• 6:19
  That's something that you need your kids to know that you're considering the consequences
• 6:27
  of your decisions regarding their permissions and their behaviors when you make those choices,
• 6:32
  so they understand how and why you're parenting them. And as they get older,
• 6:36
  they need to know more and more of that so that they know your
• 6:41
  decisions aren't arbitrary, because it teaches them that as they get older, their
• 6:46
  decisions should not be arbitrary. And it sounds like these parents are not communicating.
• 6:54
  So what does it teach this boy not to communicate well? And how
• 7:01
  what should how should his decisions be? Their decisions look arbitrary to him,
• 7:08
  don't. Don't you think it makes it apparent that decisions are just an arbitrary
• 7:12
  thing, that his behavior can be chaotic and and it's normal for that to
• 7:15
  happen. Yeah, I mean absolutely. You know, you kids learn fairly
• 7:24
  on on how they can manipulate or who they can manipulate in their situation,
• 7:30
  how kids operate, you know, and if they sense weakness in one parent
• 7:34
  over the other, then forget it's you're a lost cause right there. You
• 7:41
  know. I mean, if you can't sit down and come together with the
• 7:46
  other parent of this child and you know, really talk about this stuff,
• 7:50
  then what kind of service are you doing for that child? That's not even
• 7:57
  that's not really raising, that's just he's just exiting at his form, you
• 8:01
  know, and sad. Yeah, and I look at this and you know
• 8:09
  the doctor had previously. Just remember we looked last week at the doctor explaining
• 8:15
  to mom there that she needs to model processing and regulating her anger, like
• 8:26
  processing it and regulating her behavior based on it. I would think, you
• 8:31
  know, because the kid has to learn that mom can be angry and still
• 8:37
  love him, and his behavior has an effect on the people around him.
• 8:41
  Look, it made mom angry, right. He also has to learn that
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  mom and dad can be angry at each other and love each other and negotiate
• 8:50
  to work out what it is they're angry about or sad about. And if
• 8:56
  she's masking her feelings about everything and not communicating, you know, in an
• 9:03
  effective manner. Like women, women seem to have two modes in this.
• 9:09
  They say nothing and they get passive aggressive, right, or they nag and
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  there's no there's no in between there where like a guy would say, hey,
• 9:18
  you know, I have a problem with this because these reasons and uh,
• 9:24
  these potential consequences. You know of these reasons and then and it gets
• 9:28
  discussed, Whereas a lot of times women will be just like, I asked
• 9:33
  you not to do that. How many times do I have to say blah
• 9:37
  blah blah blah, and it's it's not it's not a discussion, it's it's
• 9:41
  just nagging. So I kind of wonder where we're gonna go with this.
• 9:50
  Let's see we get started here, for it's more kindness. Is your sadness
• 9:56
  deep down? Is it post of the surface? Have you ever cried regarding
• 10:03
  that? No. The only time I was very upset was when I was
• 10:07
  phoned from the school to say that they thought he was much better off not
• 10:11
  to be there any longer. And it was the way that it was put
• 10:13
  to me that was I mean, it was just out of the blue.
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  I was just phoned to say that the child was not adjusting and he was
• 10:20
  disturbing the class. And it was very put to me, very badly,
• 10:26
  because it's not a teacher's taste to phone, it's a principal's taste to phone.
• 10:33
  You know. She just kind of changed the subject there, like they
• 10:39
  were talking about her and her husband, and she was just like, let's
• 10:43
  go off and talk about the school. Yeah. Yeah, And you know,
• 10:52
  I think this is part of the reason why they see the teach.
• 10:56
  You know, raising the single child is not really good for child. And
• 11:03
  I kind of get it because you if you more than one child, you
• 11:09
  kind of get to see how your children interact with other children. You know,
• 11:13
  if you just have this one child and you have two adults, they
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  don't really, i think, know how to relate to the kid, you
• 11:24
  know, and he just feels misplaced. You get quite maybe you do get
• 11:33
  quite a bit of we've never done this before, and uh and and we
• 11:39
  don't know what we're doing, you know, with with an only child,
• 11:43
  and a lot of times when you have multiple kids, everything that you experienced
• 11:50
  with the first child you learn you land on your feet more with the next
• 11:56
  one and the next one. And I kind of had both experiences because you
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  know, I was I was pregnant with my son when step parenting my two
• 12:11
  daughters, and so I learned a lot. And I knew those kids prior,
• 12:18
  so I saw them growing up, and I saw the kids of my
• 12:22
  peers like I was one of the later peers. I didn't didn't have my
• 12:26
  son until I was twenty seven, so I had I got to experience my
• 12:33
  friend's parenthood, and it was a little easier for me because of that,
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  right, But there were a lot of firsts for me with him, partly
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  because you know, young you're not there all the time with your friends,
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  and so we had both. You know, my husband had experience. And
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  that's the other thing, you know, I said, sometimes he was right
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  and sometimes I was right. There were a lot of times where he was
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  not as many times where I was right, when we were not on the
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  same page right away with what to do in a given situation, because he
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  had experience that I didn't have. And I don't know if a lot of
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  women are equipped to respect that. You know, I actually had it put
• 13:20
  to me by my mom. You know, your your your husband has had
• 13:24
  experience already raising two kids. If you guys aren't on the same page on
• 13:30
  something, consider he might have already experienced it. And I think a lot
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  of women don't do that. Like this woman may not have you know,
• 13:41
  she may not be considering her husband's understanding of what it's like to be a
• 13:46
  little boy. Yeah, And she also appears to be uncomfortable discussing their relationship
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  with this this doctor, which again like that that seems to be a feminine
• 14:03
  thing, and it might be because she doesn't want to hear that she's too
• 14:05
  strict. Yeah, But I love the way that the doctor frame did when
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  he was calling her a loser. It wasn't used as a slur in the
• 14:22
  sixties like it is nowadays. No, No, I mean just to put
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  it so succinctly, you know. And I don't think she had really thought
• 14:37
  of it that way before he posed it to her in that way. But
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  you could tell by the look on her face she didn't disagree at all.
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  She just kind of took it on board. And Yeah, I think he
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  was really spot on there, you know. But I think a lot of
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  you know, women need to hear that, they need to hear when they're
• 14:58
  not with something right. And I think maybe that's another thing that her husband
• 15:03
  doesn't do. Her husband probably is too afraid to, you know, voice
• 15:09
  his own opinions or say listen, maybe you're not doing this right, or
• 15:11
  maybe there's something different than we should be doing. I don't know if he
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  has the backbone to stand up to her and say something, because I think
• 15:22
  they're both in a place where maybe they just don't want to upset the apple
• 15:26
  car. Yeah, you know, and that's pure on my part, but
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  that's just the vibe that I get. Yeah, Well, and when you
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  have a woman who is overly reliant on restraint in situations where she's dealing with
• 15:46
  adverse emotions because of the circumstances or because of an interaction, to where she
• 15:54
  fails to communicate with the other people in the situation and try to resolve this
• 16:00
  situation and instead just holds it all in and sees on the inside and lets
• 16:06
  the situation run her over. You end up with this. This is one
• 16:11
  of the reasons why seventy percent of divorce is initiated by women, Because a
• 16:17
  woman will go ten years just absolutely hating something that you do, you know,
• 16:25
  and if she's if she's like this woman, she will not tell you
• 16:30
  for ten years how much she hates what you do, and then all of
• 16:33
  a sudden, year ten she comes along and she's like, I want a
• 16:37
  divorce. You have not stopped doing this? Well, how the hell were
• 16:41
  you supposed to know? Right, So we'll see what the doctor here has
• 16:48
  to say. Putting emphasis on protocol, who should tell you? I think
• 16:56
  you're trying to avoid the catasto child was expelled from school? Well expelled,
• 17:03
  yes, but expelled you uhould expel thieves and well expe hor I mean,
• 17:08
  it wasn't it wasn't, It wasn't his fault that he was asked to leave
• 17:12
  because he wasn't handled correctly. This is the supervisor. Oh wow, wow,
• 17:22
  there we go. Everybody else is wrong. I had did that.
• 17:33
  You guys just don't know how to handle the child. Do you expelled him
• 17:37
  because you did everything wrong? Which it can happen. Yeah, but we
• 17:44
  just learned in this video, during the last twelve minutes of video that she's
• 17:52
  not modeling how to to regulate and respond to one's own anger when she deals
• 18:00
  with the child. And she and her husband are not modeling how to work
• 18:07
  out differences between each other right with each other in front of the child.
• 18:14
  They're not modeling uh, communication and compromise and negotiation and settling on a decision.
• 18:26
  And so it's but it's the school's fault. Yeah, so let's see
• 18:36
  that school does not doing your babysitter. Okay, they're not there to act
• 18:41
  as like the third being of your parenthood, Like that's not what this is.
• 18:47
  You know, I don't know say what you want. Honestly, there's
• 18:53
  because the women that think like this today, you know, they just don't
• 18:59
  show as much restraint anymore. They're not as belligerent as this woman is.
• 19:04
  Right here, and she's she's she's very stern, and you know she's forthcoming
• 19:11
  with this doctor, but she's not, I mean, until we just heard
• 19:18
  her blame the school, you know, she she wasn't really like trying to
• 19:25
  put this off on anyone until until she actually finally did. Yep. But
• 19:32
  women today like that would absolutely not be that. They would be They would
• 19:38
  be down at the school cursing out the principal. Take my kid back by,
• 19:47
  So I'll give her. I'll give her some points for, you know,
• 19:52
  maintaining her kouth. I don't know. Yeah, I grew up in
• 19:57
  a community that's kind of like bf E. You know, Ohio, and
• 20:03
  Ohio has a broad range of of poverty and wealth like we we have in
• 20:11
  in some urban areas, you know, we we have millionaires in some rural
• 20:17
  areas. You know, we have people that have like I had. I
• 20:21
  had a classmate that his graduation present from his father who ran a big farm,
• 20:30
  was a small farm. And and at the other end of it,
• 20:34
  you know, I did classmates that were raised by single moms. And we
• 20:38
  had a single mom come in when I was in elementary school and my dad
• 20:44
  and my uncle worked in the Junior High. My uncle was the principal of
• 20:47
  the junior High. I never got away with anything in school when I was
• 20:49
  growing up, by the way, because my family weren't out there. But
• 20:56
  this lady came in in hot pants and a tube top to yell and cuss
• 21:04
  at the principle over discipline that her child had faced. And I will never
• 21:12
  forget this because like at that point, I was in the sixth grade,
• 21:17
  so it was attached to the Junior High, and my whole class, like
• 21:22
  she, we were on our way back from we had different classes that we
• 21:27
  went through the Junior High to another building for like gym class and music.
• 21:33
  My whole class is walking from a class to our normal classroom where we did
• 21:40
  you know, math and reading and everything. And there's this bleached blonde,
• 21:45
  like thirty something bleached blonde walking oh and flip flops, like walking through the
• 21:52
  school like gangbusters, Like she's gonna run in and just really kick some ass
• 22:00
  in hot pink hot pants like almost but not quite Daisy Dukes hot pants are
• 22:07
  like almost like Mickey Mouse shorts and and and like this was if you looked
• 22:14
  at it with the wall behind it, and the wall's kind of greenish blue,
• 22:18
  you would get a headache. Pink uh and matching tube top and flip
• 22:22
  flops, just slapping the floor as she goes along. Then you hear her.
• 22:27
  She opens the door to the office and immediately started cussing at the secretary.
• 22:33
  And our teachers were like kids up the stairs. Now you know,
• 22:38
  we didn't even get to stay in the hallway. It was you know,
• 22:41
  move it, move it, and and they were they just like tried to
• 22:45
  talk over loud enough that we didn't hear everything she was saying. She was
• 22:52
  so mad, and and all it was was the kid had gotten attention for
• 22:56
  something that was legit, legit miss behavior. But yeah, like this parents,
• 23:03
  now, modern day parents, the the belligerents you have toward the school
• 23:08
  can range very widely from well, they did it wrong, I was contacted
• 23:12
  by the wrong person, like Karen's will Karen. But some of them are
• 23:18
  a little more blunt about it than others. Yeah, well let's see what
• 23:25
  the lad Yeah, the best ones and on my police bodycam videos. Great,
• 23:36
  yeah, jeez, that's that's funny. J LM says, I'm seeing
• 23:41
  the blonde from My name is Earl. My uncle's name was Earl and he
• 23:48
  he was one of the one of my heroes as growing up, so I
• 23:53
  don't I don't get to talk about him as much, but but one day
• 23:57
  I will tell you guys the story of how he talked to me about my
• 24:06
  temper. Very very good principle and very good uncle. Well, let's see
• 24:11
  how the school lady talks here if the nursery school he was asked to leave.
• 24:17
  He was the eldest in the class at this point, and somehow he
• 24:21
  wasn't up to the level of the other children, and not intellectually, only
• 24:25
  because he couldn't cope with himself or cope with anything that was taking place.
• 24:29
  The children were involved in learning things which required more attentiveness and a circle where
• 24:34
  they sat down for a period of time and discussed different various things, and
• 24:40
  Philip realized he couldn't cope with us, so he would ask to go and
• 24:44
  visit a younger class, and we tried this on occasions. He came to
• 24:48
  visit various classes, but immediately became attached to one child and showed his affection
• 24:53
  by beginning to hurt this child. I spoke to Philip's mother and told her
• 24:57
  that unless she got some help we couldn't manage to keep Philip the way he
• 25:02
  was now. We were only equipped to do a certain amount, and we
• 25:04
  were only trained to a certain level, and we felt that Philip needed more
• 25:11
  help than we could give him, or that we need a direction in helping
• 25:14
  Philip or an understanding Philip. So there's a lot there. The first thing
• 25:19
  I noticed that she was describing there was that Philip was emotionally immature. Intellectually
• 25:27
  he was fine, but emotionally he was immature, which is kind of a
• 25:32
  consistent theme here, and it's obvious that there's sort of a well rounded presentation
• 25:44
  of he's not getting the lessons at home that he needs to understand to process
• 25:52
  his emotions and regulate his behavior based on that. And then she's also talking
• 25:56
  about having reached out to the mother and asked for some sort of cooperation,
• 26:03
  where what did we hear from the mother? But the school wasn't handling him
• 26:07
  right, and that she should have received a call from an administrator and not
• 26:14
  a teacher, which is interesting because if my son's teachers, or you know,
• 26:21
  if my stepdaughters had lived with us and gone to school in our community,
• 26:23
  if their teachers had had an issue it would have been the person experiencing
• 26:27
  the issue that I would have wanted to hear for because I would want their
• 26:30
  perspective. So there's an economic difference there, I think, where she has
• 26:38
  grown up in an economic situation where everything is about hierarchy and authority rather than
• 26:45
  direct observation and collaboration. If that makes sense. Yeah, you know what
• 26:53
  I thought about too, maybe is you know, maybe he's just not being
• 26:59
  challenged enough in school, you know, because that happens to a lot of
• 27:03
  That happens to a lot of kids, you know, when the material is
• 27:07
  just not fast paced enough for them. If you know, if if they're
• 27:11
  reading or thinking or doing math at like a higher level than what they're actually
• 27:22
  being taught at school, they're they're bored, you know, they look for
• 27:25
  ways to distract themselves, ways to entertain themselves. I don't know if that's
• 27:30
  the case here, but you know, I don't think that's normally accompanied with
• 27:36
  violence. I don't know. Maybe there's something else psychological going on with the
• 27:41
  kids, or maybe it's just you nurture is it's maybe it's just way that
• 27:47
  he was raised and the lack of structure and discipline and stability it. Maybe
• 28:00
  that is really what's to blame here. But I just I know this happened
• 28:06
  a long time ago. I was gonna hear like, oh my god,
• 28:08
  this little boy was Okay, he's probably a pro man now brandkids. Well,
• 28:12
  see this would be this happened in the nineteen sixties, like and he
• 28:18
  was probably approximately kindergarten age during the sixties. I was born in nineteen seventy
• 28:26
  two and I'm fifty one. So this this this kid would now be probably
• 28:33
  in his sixties to his early seventies. This is a baby boomer. Yeah,
• 28:41
  so yeah, if he's still alive, because a lot of boomers,
• 28:45
  you know, when when they were growing up, they were given a lot
• 28:51
  of bad dietary advice, a lot of bad healthcare advice, and you know,
• 28:56
  like physical health care advice, and a lot of them in it up
• 29:00
  with diabetes, ended up with you know, a lot of them ended up
• 29:04
  with arthritis, heart conditions, strokes, and of course a lot of a
• 29:11
  lot of boomers if they got into the hippie counterculture in particular, they ended
• 29:18
  up experimenting with a variety of different drugs that have different impacts on your health
• 29:22
  too. Like some things don't but you know, stimulants can have a profound
• 29:27
  effect on your circulatory system, for instance, and so there's a lot of
• 29:33
  stuff that he could you know, this kid could already have been through his
• 29:37
  whole life, passed away and be buried somewhere, or he could be somebody's
• 29:41
  grandpa, you know, somebody's living grandpa. But what's interesting to me is,
• 29:48
  you know, like when you talk about, you know, a kid
• 29:49
  getting bored and stuff, like he gets bored in school, and there's a
• 29:53
  there's a progression in attention span with a small child, Like a two year
• 30:00
  old's attention span is very short, and a four year old's attention span is
• 30:04
  actually significantly longer. A two year old may not sit still through say an
• 30:14
  entire television program, and really your two year old shouldn't be watching a buttload
• 30:18
  of TV anyway. But things like that, like you can hold a two
• 30:22
  year old's attention if you have them sitting in your lap and you're reading them
• 30:26
  a book and you do character voices and you know, things like we had
• 30:32
  a wait a story that I liked called the the Sneely Mouthed Snards and the
• 30:37
  Wonder Octopus, which was I don't it's out of print now I have a
• 30:42
  copy. One day I'll make a video reading it. But when when you
• 30:48
  read that to a child, when I read that to my son, when
• 30:51
  my mom read it to me and my brother when we were kids, you
• 30:53
  you do things like, you know, the Wonder Octopus gets the gets to
• 30:57
  the sneely mouth snards you make you do kind of the claw on their belly
• 31:03
  or something along those lines. And there's a lot of different voices you can
• 31:08
  do with different stories that kids like and stuff like that, and it's fun
• 31:12
  and the kid pays attention. But if you just have like you couldn't lecture
• 31:18
  a two year old, a two year old is going to their brain is
• 31:22
  going to wander off, and they might physically wander off because they don't have
• 31:26
  the capacity to pay attention to you doing that. And a four year old
• 31:30
  might be able to sit in a circle with other kids and play a game
• 31:34
  and stay involved in that game for several mani minutes longer than say a two
• 31:41
  year old. You really don't have to fight as much for attention. And
• 31:47
  by the time a kid is five or six years old, you know they're
• 31:51
  old enough for you to write a lesson on the chalkboard and demonstrate things,
• 31:56
  and they'll pay attention to that. And they still have to have breaks,
• 32:00
  and they still have to have recess and a change of subject periodically, or
• 32:06
  you're going to get you know, boredom. And when they get bored they
• 32:12
  act out. It doesn't necessarily end up with violence unless the child is also
• 32:17
  frustrated, right, And when the child becomes frustrated from the time they're little,
• 32:24
  until they learn from mom and dad and the other kids and their teachers
• 32:30
  and the other adults around them how to handle frustration without resorting to violence.
• 32:36
  Frustration results in yelling, flailing, punching, kicking, biting, you know,
• 32:44
  dropping down on the ground and having a temper tantrum, things like that.
• 32:47
  It's just how it's expressed until you mature, and then you might sigh
• 32:52
  an exasperation or raise your voice a little bit, or show tension when you're
• 33:00
  talking as an adult, but you regulate it. So it seems like this
• 33:04
  boy has not learned to regulate his frustration. Yeah, and just from the
• 33:10
  sound of this lady talking about it, and when she asked the mother how
• 33:15
  to handle that, and the mother is like, well, I should have
• 33:17
  gotten a call from the principal. It's your job to figure that out.
• 33:24
  What are you? Why are you asking me? Yeah? So I like
• 33:29
  the way the psychiatrist said, it seems like you're kind of trying to avoid
• 33:32
  the catastrophe of your kid getting expelled, because that is a bit of avoidance.
• 33:39
  She's not wanting to take responsibility. Yeah, and she really did not
• 33:45
  like that word loser because it means that she's failing, you know, and
• 33:50
  nobody likes to hear that of themselves. But you know, to be honest,
• 33:55
  that's the only way that you're going to learn and grow, you know.
• 33:59
  Let's the only way that you're ever going to know that you're doing something
• 34:01
  wrong is if someone tells you, because obviously, well hopefully if you have
• 34:07
  figured out that what you're doing is wrong, you would correct your own course.
• 34:09
  But you know, some people just need a little bit of assistance opening
• 34:14
  their eyes to reality. Yeah, okay, Now the father became quite hostile.
• 34:25
  He said he couldn't understand that if we were such experts in nursery school,
• 34:29
  why we couldn't cope with the situation. And we explained, uh,
• 34:34
  if you weren't such experts, and you know, behavior problems in the sense
• 34:37
  of Philip, what's beyond our understanding. It was nice of you to join
• 34:42
  us. I thought it would be a good idea. That's an interesting thing
• 34:45
  too, her describing the father as hostile. You know, if you're such
• 34:52
  experts, how come you can't handle this? And I suppose he was probably
• 34:57
  defending his wife. And it's hard to tell because we don't have him here.
• 35:01
  He was probably at work. But it's an interesting Uh, that's an
• 35:08
  interesting response. And yeah, nursery school, there are facilities where the workers
• 35:21
  at a nursery school take early childhood development courses and stuff like that to get
• 35:29
  their jobs and everything. But in most cases in a nursery school, in
• 35:37
  a preschool, they have very It's it's like nurses, aids and direct support
• 35:45
  professionals for for disabled adults and stuff. We don't get necessarily a buttload of
• 35:51
  training. We're not like nurses. They're not like school teachers, and they're
• 35:55
  not like psychologists. They're a lower level expert in a limited set of functions
• 36:06
  with regard to caregiving for children. Because they're the use of their services is
• 36:15
  supposed to be limited. You're not supposed to rely on your child's preschool to
• 36:24
  be the bulk of their training on how to be an adult, on how
• 36:30
  to how to grow up. That's just supposed to be a contributing factor to
• 36:34
  what you're teaching the child. That was understood early on any education system.
• 36:40
  But you know, that seems to that understanding seems to have been utterly destroyed
• 36:46
  in today's education system. And I think part of the fault of that is
• 36:52
  mothers like this during the sixties and the seventies, like my generals parents,
• 37:00
  our generation's parents, that said, you know, why isn't the school doing
• 37:05
  more for my child, where in reality it needed to be the parents doing
• 37:10
  more for the child and taking suggestions from into consideration from the school, rather
• 37:19
  than the school being experts on this kid has a behavioral issue, and this
• 37:22
  kid has a health condition, and this kid has you know, conditions at
• 37:25
  home that are causing problems and so on. Your school teacher shouldn't be your
• 37:30
  child psycho psychologist. But that's what this mom was expecting, and the dad
• 37:36
  too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like the kind of mindset
• 37:43
  of the type of wealthy people who think that you can just throw money at
• 37:46
  any problem and make it go away. Yep. And that's just not how
• 37:52
  kids work. In fact, quite the opposite. The more the money you
• 38:00
  throw at them, the worst they get or the worst they turn out,
• 38:04
  they just turn into absolutely just degenerate in ingrades. Oh yeah, Like some
• 38:13
  of the some of the best shaping experience as a kid can have are absolutely
• 38:19
  free. You take them to a public park, you let them play with
• 38:22
  other children, You let them make up their own games, and you let
• 38:28
  them negotiate the rules of those games with each other, and you only intervene
• 38:32
  if the behavior involved starts to, you know, deteriorate into unresolved violence where
• 38:42
  where you're not the kids are not going to play together. And then you
• 38:45
  can say, hey, why don't you guys think about this. You can
• 38:51
  compromise, you can you can suggest things like that. How about how about
• 38:55
  you take turns making rules. How about you consider trying this rule and that
• 39:00
  rule and see which one you like better. When you play with those rules
• 39:06
  and your kids learn that way, you know, they take a little advice
• 39:09
  and they figure things out between you know, the group where they're they're discussing
• 39:15
  it, and they go back to playing, and you know, you can
• 39:20
  tell the kids, you know, hey, it's not okay to hit when
• 39:22
  you're mad. Don't bite. You know, nobody wants to play with a
• 39:24
  bier and uh, and that that helps. But you don't have to be
• 39:30
  spending, you know, a whole bunch of money to do that. You
• 39:35
  just you just let them play with other kids. But unfortunately we don't.
• 39:43
  We don't seem to give kids that leeway in their in their play anymore.
• 39:51
  Everything is scheduled and outlined and described to the kids organized. They don't they
• 40:01
  don't make up their own games. They are put together on teams to play
• 40:07
  sports or be involved in dance class or piano class or you know whatever instrument,
• 40:15
  or or they get into martial arts, or they get into this club
• 40:22
  or that club, and they're not they're not negotiating with each other. They're
• 40:25
  doing what the adults tell them to do, or they get kicked out and
• 40:30
  they're excluded from everything. And I think we have completely forgotten as a society,
• 40:36
  and psychology, modern psychology seems to have forgotten as well, that you
• 40:43
  know, we don't, especially with boys, although girls need this too,
• 40:49
  that we don't have to we don't have to do that. We don't have
• 40:53
  to organize everything children do. It's actually better if they have to learn to
• 41:01
  work things out with each other and compromise with each other and bounce ideas back
• 41:07
  and forth and decide on things together. It's how you learn to be a
• 41:10
  co worker and a partner in a relationship and a co parent and part of
• 41:17
  a big family and and enjoy family gatherings together, you know, and so
• 41:23
  on. But yeah, we we've we've stopped that. And when boys try
• 41:30
  to do those things, we call it toxic masculinity today. So I think
• 41:37
  that's one of the one of the answers to our title name is we have
• 41:43
  forgotten that boys develop by experiencing their environments and and learning from all of the
• 41:51
  people in their environments how to handle circumstances and their emotional responses to those circumstances.
• 42:00
  Yep, play darting or understand it's nice of you to join us.
• 42:07
  I thought it would be a good idea if we spend a little time talking
• 42:12
  about some of the things that I've tried to observe as I've spent a half
• 42:17
  hour or so with me, And yes, you want to show your mommy
• 42:23
  what we're doing. How do you feel about me telling your mommy, what
• 42:28
  we're doing. Yeah, you got a hole mowful, but you like to
• 42:37
  play and eat and talk and breathe and grow all one time like a real
• 42:44
  hungry alligator. And I like this. Yes, I thank you. This
• 42:51
  is a man, a mummy and a daddy and they've been playing a game
• 42:53
  most of the morning. What's the game they've been playing? How them want?
• 43:00
  They've been playing a husband and wife game with a lot of kisses and
• 43:02
  hugs. Lots of kisses and hugs, so many did you think this?
• 43:08
  Mummy and daddy never raised their eyebrows at each other, and never had an
• 43:14
  argument with each other, and mostly of breakfast time. Oh, everybody had
• 43:19
  a whole lot of bacon for breakfast. Thought, So apparently liking bacon is
• 43:28
  kind of universal. But it's interesting, Yeah, it's it's interesting. You
• 43:34
  mentioned the showing of affection and the no raising their eyebrows at each other and
• 43:38
  no no fighting and stuff. I don't know. It seems to me it
• 43:46
  would be normal for parents to have at least differences of opinion and to talk
• 43:52
  back and forth and come to a conclusion. I always felt like my my
• 43:59
  husband and eye, we're a little abnormal for not getting mad at each other
• 44:02
  in those circumstances, because most people around us always did. But I think
• 44:08
  I married the most patient man alive, which is saying a lot because men
• 44:15
  are pretty patient in general. And I think I responded by being patient where
• 44:22
  I would have been totally different, right if I hadn't been with somebody so
• 44:28
  patient. It's embarrassing to be the only person getting out of control in a
• 44:34
  disagreement, and it's doubly embarrassing if it's in front of the person you love
• 44:38
  most in the world. You don't want them to see you that way,
• 44:43
  right, But I think it's pretty normal for people to have tempers when differences
• 44:52
  of opinion don't get resolved quickly and easily. And I don't know it's interesting
• 45:00
  saying that the psychologist talked about it that way. That's one story that Philip's
• 45:15
  been telling us, so he's been coming back to that story again and again.
• 45:19
  Now Daddy being a very very amorous, affectionate husband and with lots of
• 45:24
  kisses and hugs for mummy, And I think it Sleep's way of saying that,
• 45:30
  oh, when you can give a mummy lots of hugs and kisses and
• 45:34
  then your mummy becomes such a happy mummy. And when you were a little
• 45:37
  boy like Phelip put lots of hugs and kisses. Then you can be not
• 45:42
  a fighting boy at school, maybe a happy boy at school. But then
• 45:46
  you see, we ran into a bit of trouble, not really trouble,
• 45:50
  but game trouble. The alligator became very, very hungry, and he wanted
• 45:57
  to eat up but Daddy's head. And I think the alligator was belief,
• 46:06
  and I think Philip became very angry. But he says, I always get
• 46:10
  what I want, and that's why I fight, and I fight, fight,
• 46:15
  fight to get what I want, even though I sometimes never really get
• 46:19
  what I want. I say that I want right now, and you don't
• 46:23
  think people wait longer at all. That's another interesting one because the what did
• 46:30
  the child just tell the psych psychiatrist with that story, I get rewarded for
• 46:37
  bad behavior. Mm hmm, that's all. That's a lifetime thing too,
• 46:44
  Like adults will develop bad habits if they get rewarded for bad behavior. I've
• 46:52
  seen that in the workplace, and uh it people who are older than me
• 46:58
  that learn to do things I won't say wrong at work, but but in
• 47:06
  ways that are detrimental to their work relationships because they get rewarded for it.
• 47:12
  And it's like coworkers that will not just be like the bosses but you know
• 47:21
  kisser or or things like that, but where they they throw other co workers
• 47:25
  under the bus, or they don't do tasks and they leave them for somebody
• 47:30
  else, or they gossip about you, you know, things like that,
• 47:36
  and and they get rewarded for it by advancing in the the the social hierarchy
• 47:45
  at work, or by getting getting promoted, or by you know, getting
• 47:52
  praised from the boss for the job they're doing and and seeing the person that
• 47:57
  they feel competitive with getting the other end of that stick where the boss is
• 48:02
  like, you should be doing this, and you know, you find out
• 48:08
  that you have to be passive aggressive, or you have to be verbally aggressive,
• 48:15
  or you have to you know, enumerate everything that you do, or
• 48:22
  you know, you have to to be competitive in ways that are unhealthy as
• 48:24
  opposed to ways that are healthy at work in order to to keep your head
• 48:29
  above water. Retail environments are really bad for that, and so are a
• 48:36
  lot of environments where there are it's in instead of you know, building things
• 48:43
  and fixing things, and and designing things and stuff. It's it's it's paperwork,
• 48:50
  bureaucracy type paperwork, like paper pushing environments where what you do in your
• 48:58
  job isn't necessarily always visible to the boss. You get that kind of dysfunctional
• 49:04
  behavior being encouraged by management, and people who grow up learning to regulate themselves
• 49:13
  better in those environments, they end up becoming better workers and they end up
• 49:19
  getting along better with their coworkers. But people who didn't learn that growing up,
• 49:22
  they're more likely to more quickly adopt the dysfunctional behaviors at work and disrupt
• 49:28
  the entire workplace because of that. I'm sure, Lauren, I'm sure you've
• 49:32
  probably seen that, because I know you have. Like even though there's like
• 49:37
  the repair end and the sales end of your workplace, there's probably a lot
• 49:42
  of paper pushing as well. Oh yeah, that's my job, yep.
• 49:49
  But fortunately I don't have very many females around, so you know that I
• 49:55
  have to work with, so the levels of toxicity outside of the chemicals that
• 50:01
  I have to you know, chest is pretty low. You know, I've
• 50:07
  made mention of a certain coworker that was there for just very topic. This
• 50:13
  is just what you were talking about. I mean, you know, she
• 50:15
  just slept with everybody around, but they finally let her go. I don't
• 50:22
  know what she did to actually steal that deal, but yeah, so it's
• 50:30
  it's a step in the right direction. But no, I know exactly what
• 50:36
  you're talking about. And it's interesting. Allison actually made a video on it
• 50:39
  too. She talked about the difference between female slackers and male slackers in the
• 50:45
  workplace, like you give you give both sexes a set of tasks to do,
• 50:52
  right, and and your workers, based on whatever their job function is,
• 50:55
  they're they're going to have a set of tasks to do, and most
• 50:59
  people just systematically knock out those tasks, or they'll ask for help if they
• 51:05
  feel like they can't systematically knock out those tasks. But you know, every
• 51:10
  so often you get somebody that has always skated by doing the minimum, and
• 51:15
  they don't systematically knock out their tasks or ask for help. They just let
• 51:20
  it fester, right. Yeah. And one of the things that Alison pointed
• 51:24
  out in her video is a male slacker, if you pick up his slack,
• 51:30
  he's just grateful that you did. Right. Now, you do the
• 51:35
  job. It's done nobody's in trouble, you move on. And I've experienced
• 51:39
  that as well. A female slacker gets offended if you pick up her slack
• 51:47
  and she feels slighted or defamed by by you picking up her slack, even
• 51:57
  if you don't crow about it, like, as long as you not an
• 52:00
  asshole about oh, I picked up your slack again. You know, guys
• 52:05
  don't care unless you create conflict over it, then they don't care. But
• 52:10
  but women will stake their their slack out as a territory and defend it,
• 52:16
  take ownership of it, and get mad at you for fixing the problem.
• 52:22
  Yeah. No, that's absolutely true. And I mean I experienced it with
• 52:25
  that chick, and you know what, I find interesting and I think,
• 52:32
  I don't know, maybe this is just becoming a product of what it's like
• 52:37
  to be raised by a single mother. But noticing the same behaviors in a
• 52:42
  lot of these young men too, you know, yeah, because the new
• 52:47
  crop that we have coming in, they're just irresponsible. They don't care.
• 52:52
  You can give them directions to the tea and it's like one thing, anything
• 53:00
  to distract them, and they get thrown off course. You know, it's
• 53:05
  just I don't understand it. Yeah, oh god, these guys, and
• 53:13
  you can't call them out on anything. I mean, like I tried to
• 53:17
  go back to these guys and say, listen, you're supposed to do this.
• 53:21
  I need this paperwork. You didn't turn it in. Can you please
• 53:23
  just try to Can you get that for me and print it out and give
• 53:27
  it to me. Yeah, this guy, he took the paperwork from me
• 53:32
  and he turned around. As soon as I turned around to leave, he
• 53:35
  took the r L and he threw it at his toolbox as if I offended
• 53:39
  him because I asked him to complete his job. It's I don't understand the
• 53:46
  entitlement. You know, my boss with younger people has had to start every
• 53:52
  correction at work now with you're not in trouble, but yeah, it's And
• 54:01
  this is something I don't know what gen X did with to their kids.
• 54:06
  But a lot of zoomers I've noticed, and some millennials too, like the
• 54:08
  younger millennials, but a lot of zoomers seem to have a sort of cultivated
• 54:16
  neurosis and cultivated attention deficit disorder. Where like I've seen real add in at
• 54:25
  work. Real add is chemical. It's rare and it's not very common,
• 54:32
  but it and it's rough to deal with, and you neque tools to overcome
• 54:37
  it. And for every person I've met that has talked about being you know,
• 54:43
  add or having a diagnosis and stuff like that that they got from their
• 54:47
  school and was medicated for it, you know, like I probably for every
• 54:52
  person that's actually displaying symptoms of it that are obvious symptoms, I've probably met
• 55:01
  twenty or thirty people that have said, oh, yes, I had ADD,
• 55:06
  grew up with ADD, I still have ADD, and and this is
• 55:08
  this is what it does. And then and they're not. They just didn't
• 55:13
  learn to regulate their attention and to focus. And it's not that it's some
• 55:21
  people are high functioning and some people are low functioning. It's that some people
• 55:23
  are misdiagnosed. And the overwhelming majority of the ones that I meet that have
• 55:29
  been told oh you have ADD and they don't are boys and they so they
• 55:35
  they don't learn the tools of Okay, somebody has said I didn't do something
• 55:40
  I was supposed to do. I need to do that. I shouldn't get
• 55:45
  mad about it. I just need this is this is I'm being given directions
• 55:49
  on how to do something effectively in my work. Okay, I can do
• 55:53
  that, Like, which is what if you look at boomer men and even
• 56:00
  flower child boomer men, like the younger boomers and gen X men for the
• 56:06
  most part, older millennial men, they all have that capacity. Hey,
• 56:12
  you know I need this bit of paperwork with your job. Oh okay,
• 56:17
  I will get that done right away. You know, no, no conflict,
• 56:22
  no problem. And then as you get into the younger millennials and the
• 56:27
  zoomers, it's like you just told them that they are bad, Like you're
• 56:35
  bad. You didn't do this, Shame on you. You should be embarrassed,
• 56:38
  and it's upsetting to be embarrassed. And I don't know, I don't
• 56:44
  know what's different in how Like I understand the whole helicopter parent thing and how
• 56:50
  that has affected, Like I see a lot of younger people not being willing
• 56:57
  to take normal risks because of that. But I'm not sure what aspect of
• 57:07
  what changed aspect of parenting has happened between the generations that has led to it
• 57:14
  becoming normal for guys to approach figuring out that they've made a mistake, that
• 57:22
  you know, looking at an error as a personal affront, as opposed to
• 57:27
  an opportunity to improve. But I don't know. Maybe people in the comments
• 57:34
  soul especially like if you are a an older millennial, who who has you
• 57:45
  know younger cousins or younger siblings raised by younger gen xers, or or you
• 57:52
  know such that you've seen differences in parenting, Like maybe you guys know it's
• 57:59
  it's just not something it's something I've observed in kids, But I haven't figured
• 58:04
  out what aspect of parenting it's attached to, Like what are what did we
• 58:07
  screw up that led to that? I cannot Are you getting to be hungry
• 58:19
  or alligator? Or are you getting to be an angry or alligator? Now?
• 58:22
  Get that that's the angry alligator? And you ever get to be a
• 58:29
  sad alligator, a sad little alligator that says I don't want something I can't
• 58:35
  I don't want you. Do you ever feel that right right now? That's
• 58:39
  right? I want to get that man right now, and I want to
• 58:43
  get the apple juice right now. And I want my Maddy pickiss my mummy
• 58:46
  right now so everybody can be real happy, m good. I get to
• 58:53
  stead. I wonder if this kid's parents are fighting in front of them and
• 59:00
  not resolving their differences when they fight, or they're doing it silent. I've
• 59:05
  seen this with a lot of parents. They do this silent fight where they
• 59:08
  uh, make the the the angry face where you know, you draw your
• 59:15
  lips back towards your jaw like a grimace and and lower your eyebrows at each
• 59:20
  other like I'm angry about this, but you don't. It's sort of a
• 59:23
  non communicative to communication and uh and then don't say anything, you know,
• 59:30
  motions and hand signals and uh, stuff like that, and and yeah,
• 59:37
  we have, but the bad said has noticed the boy is nervous of the
• 59:42
  camera. I noticed that too. He sort of keeps looking at it,
• 59:49
  and I suppose he's performing for it a little bit too. That's something when
• 59:57
  I was young, I I kind of learned to be invisible with my ca
• 1:00:00
  because of that. Because part of your book and news photography at events and
• 1:00:05
  stuff is getting candid photos. But you don't get candid photos if people pay
• 1:00:07
  attention to the photographer. You only get candid photos if people forget you're there.
• 1:00:15
  And so you have to blend in or you know, fade into the
• 1:00:20
  woodwork a little bit and and shoot when nobody's looking at you. And I
• 1:00:25
  managed to be able to do that really well. But I'm sure this camera
• 1:00:29
  is set up where the kid is, you know, prominently aware of it.
• 1:00:34
  Yeah, it was pretty difficult to have hidden cameras back in the days
• 1:00:37
  when cameras were fucking five ft across off it them. Well, yeah,
• 1:00:45
  and they were noisy too. They had this This the sort of a worrying
• 1:00:52
  sound the old film because that that would have been using they this was probably,
• 1:01:00
  let's see, in the sixties, probably done on eight millimeter, could
• 1:01:06
  have been done on sixteen, but it was probably done on eight millimeter.
• 1:01:10
  It might even have been if he had a really good camera, it might
• 1:01:13
  have been done on thirty five millimeter film. But yeah, you can hear
• 1:01:19
  it advancing. You can hear the film advancing through the camera. Well you
• 1:01:25
  you can't hear it in the film though, But yeah, he's he's definitely
• 1:01:30
  nervous of that. So the behavior that we're seeing might not all be genuine.
• 1:01:35
  Here, How would I want someone down on my arm and probably sleep
• 1:01:40
  in my arms? You don't sleep alone? Right? Oh? Can you
• 1:01:46
  come in my arms? And now you can be that little baby with one
• 1:01:53
  two and I wonder what's better a big, hungry alec gater that once things
• 1:02:00
  or a little maybe with one twoth that can start life all over again and
• 1:02:07
  be cozy and comfortable. What do you like best? So we don't see,
• 1:02:15
  we don't seemen getting to do this for children much anymore. I remember
• 1:02:30
  getting rocked to sleep by my dad when I was a kid, and you
• 1:02:34
  know, my son got rock to sleep by my husband when he was a
• 1:02:37
  kid. But a lot of guys get treated like there's something wrong with their
• 1:02:44
  behavior when they are affectionate toward their children or toward children that are under their
• 1:02:49
  care. I remember hearing my parents discuss this. My dad couldn't give kids
• 1:02:54
  a pat on the back because they did a good job at school, because
• 1:02:59
  he was he was worried what how that would be taken. There just hit
• 1:03:04
  a point where that, you know, the handshake, the pat on the
• 1:03:08
  back, the pat on the head, anything like that was like, oh,
• 1:03:12
  you touched my child mm hmm. And personally, I think if we
• 1:03:21
  take away the concept of good touch from men, then we make it difficult
• 1:03:29
  for for young people to understand the difference between good touch and bad touch from
• 1:03:35
  men. Rather than and and we take away a form of nurturing that kids
• 1:03:39
  need exactly. You know, you think about it, there's a there's a
• 1:03:49
  difference in the the emotional response, the way there's a difference in the way
• 1:03:55
  it feels to be cradled by a masculine, strong man versus a woman.
• 1:04:05
  And it's it's nurturing from both, it's loving from both, it's affectionate from
• 1:04:10
  both, it's tender from both. But you do kind of get a sense
• 1:04:14
  of being protected. Yeah, more from a man, absolutely, And I
• 1:04:27
  wonder if this doctor is also kind of trying to model to the mom this
• 1:04:30
  behavior is important with your kid. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And look
• 1:04:38
  at how open the child is to him. Mm hmm. You know,
• 1:04:43
  he's just very he's very comfortable with this with the doctor. And remember earlier
• 1:04:47
  in the video where you know, when the doctor said to the young boy,
• 1:04:53
  I love you, and he looked up at him like what he was
• 1:04:59
  so hungry for that. Yeah. So I think it's a great thing for
• 1:05:03
  the mother to witness and hopefully she can you know, learn from that and
• 1:05:11
  not be jealous by the way. The difference in the way the child reacts
• 1:05:16
  to this supposed stranger. You know, rather than to his own parents.
• 1:05:24
  Yeah, so yeah, I really wonder if she if she if she caught
• 1:05:30
  that, I don't know, or is she too caught up in her own
• 1:05:33
  emotion about the situation, and you know, the frustration of not really knowing
• 1:05:39
  what to do. You know, I think going through this whole thing is
• 1:05:44
  supposed to be helping her to learn, But it was just a couple of
• 1:05:49
  minutes ago where she was blaming the school for not being able to teach the
• 1:05:54
  kid. Oh yeah, and you see, you think about it. You
• 1:06:00
  know, women, women respond emotionally to everything, and and the emotional response
• 1:06:05
  becomes the primary issue at that point, and you forget about the situation that
• 1:06:13
  you're responding to in your your focus becomes your own emotions instead. And if
• 1:06:19
  it's if you don't grow up learning to again this is this is a self
• 1:06:25
  regulation issue, and women do not learn that self regulation. And that's like
• 1:06:30
  in a historical thing. Men are naturally better at it, but they also
• 1:06:36
  as they're growing up as boys, they get more training on it. Yeah,
• 1:06:44
  right, And it's there's a huge difference in how that impacts how you
• 1:06:53
  know, you respond to circumstances. Then of course there's also like, and
• 1:06:58
  it's not necessarily universal to economic I hate to use the term privilege, but
• 1:07:04
  when you're talking about children, it is kind of privilege because children they get
• 1:07:10
  what their parents have, right, So, children who grew up in more
• 1:07:15
  economically plentiful setting, a lot of times their parents are more indulgent. And
• 1:07:26
  it's not universal. I've met people who have grown up filthy rich with parents
• 1:07:30
  that were not indulgent at all, and they seemed more like the kids of
• 1:07:35
  working class parents. Working class parents can't afford to indulge their children. They
• 1:07:42
  can't afford to have the problems that come from indulging their children, but they
• 1:07:46
  also can't afford the materials it takes to do so, and there are tools.
• 1:07:50
  Sometimes I think that kids with parents that don't have the in inner strength
• 1:07:58
  to refrain from indulging them when they're able to, and they are able to
• 1:08:04
  that, they don't get the same tools that parents who have no choice but
• 1:08:09
  to say no, we can't afford that, or you're going to cause problems
• 1:08:14
  for the whole family if you do that. You know you got to stop
• 1:08:18
  doing that. We can't afford the fine, We can't afford you to get
• 1:08:24
  kicked out of school things like that. Those kids end up growing up with
• 1:08:29
  an understanding, a better understanding of the impact of their behavior on other people,
• 1:08:33
  and they have better tools for that. I don't know this kid.
• 1:08:39
  He may be being raised by parents that didn't learn to deal with difficult social
• 1:08:45
  situations because they never had to. Yeah, and so it's a generational thing,
• 1:08:50
  just like violence is a generational thing. Maybe his parents aren't affectionate because
• 1:08:55
  their parents weren't affectionate. Maybe they're not affectionate because their parents didn't teach them
• 1:09:01
  that it was important. But you saw how he sort of uh pulled it
• 1:09:06
  into and and just settled into the care that the doctor was providing for him,
• 1:09:15
  like you know, like like a lady settling into a being pampered at
• 1:09:23
  a spa. Mm hmmm. And look at this, I'm being loved and
• 1:09:28
  cared about and it is a rare treat. Yeah, it's kind of heartbreaking.
• 1:09:34
  You know what would you rather be a big angry boy, very hungry
• 1:09:43
  or a little cozy baby that one too, A big allegy, big alligator
• 1:09:49
  and the big alligator. Is he happy when he wants all the things he
• 1:09:55
  can't get? Is he happy when the teacher's fighting with him now and when
• 1:10:00
  his mummy takes her slip around, when the daddy shouts mm hmmm mm hmmm
• 1:10:10
  mm hmm. And I don't think that alligator is such a happy little boy,
• 1:10:16
  do you. I think he's a sad little boy, because he'd like
• 1:10:21
  to be a big boy that can go to the park, make bacon for
• 1:10:28
  breakfast, make his mommy and daddy happy. Oh how hold m hm.
• 1:10:40
  Yes, we suddenly get into the kid distracting in the situation if you're giving
• 1:10:47
  me a real but uh And I think that's partly from hitting a nerve.
• 1:10:53
  You know, the kid wants to be a grown kid. And this I
• 1:10:58
  noticed too, I had I've seen this with other people's kids. I've seen
• 1:11:01
  this with kids that were kids when I was a kid, where the adults
• 1:11:05
  try to make them grow up too fast, mature too fast, and the
• 1:11:10
  result is that they end up. It's like when you pull on a rubber
• 1:11:14
  band, you let go, it contracts beyond you know, it comes back
• 1:11:18
  and hits you in the hand, you know, or stretched spaghetti, and
• 1:11:23
  it goes back to its shortest state. Right. He uh. He seems
• 1:11:29
  like maybe he's reacted to being stretched beyond his age of maturity to by by
• 1:11:39
  becoming more immature. Yeah yeah, yeah, and bad said says, did
• 1:11:50
  anyone else notice him checking for his mom's reaction on sad little boy? M
• 1:11:59
  I missed that. Yeah. Yeah, he's definitely needing the affection, and
• 1:12:06
  he's looking to see if his mother has noticed that he needs the affection.
• 1:12:13
  Yeah. And I don't get not being affectionate towards your kids either. Like
• 1:12:18
  my kid's had a nickname for you get. I Really, they're so cute
• 1:12:26
  when they're little, you know, and you that cuteness stays with them their
• 1:12:30
  whole lives. You can see the little baby face under their grown up face
• 1:12:34
  and everything. So there's there's and a lot of moms will do this this
• 1:12:41
  rapid fire kisses on the cheek or the top of the head and stuff like
• 1:12:45
  that because you get this burst of affection and you know, so you give
• 1:12:51
  the kid a bear hug and just like I said, rapid fire little smooches
• 1:12:58
  on the top of their head or they're cheek or you know, the back
• 1:13:00
  of their neck whatever. And my kids called those machine gun kisses. But
• 1:13:10
  and that's like my parents did that. My aunts and uncles did that with
• 1:13:15
  their kids. My friends do that with their kids, you know, uh,
• 1:13:19
  my my friend's kids, and and my kids do that with with the
• 1:13:24
  younger set, you know, And it's just you do. Little kids need
• 1:13:29
  affection. They need to know that they are loved and adored and cared for
• 1:13:33
  and protected, and that that you that you want them to be close to
• 1:13:42
  you, And they need to be cuddled, you know, unless they have
• 1:13:46
  a reaction to it where it's it's uh, you know, it's like sometimes
• 1:13:51
  with kids who have autism or or other disorders, it can be overwhelming and
• 1:13:58
  over over steamy. Then you have to, you know, tailor your reactions
• 1:14:03
  to the child's needs. But most kids really need to be cuddled. And
• 1:14:12
  I have a feeling this this one was not cuddled at home. But see
• 1:14:26
  what else. We'll go one more scene here and then I'm gonna look and
• 1:14:30
  see if there are super chows. Because I haven't been normally with a lot
• 1:14:35
  of this. I've been trying to keep up with them as they go.
• 1:14:39
  I haven't seen any super chats and so I've noticed a few chats that I've
• 1:14:49
  responded to, but no, no super chats. So we'll get into the
• 1:14:56
  super chow channel here in a minute. But first let's go just a little
• 1:15:00
  farther with this big hug. You had your there for a long time,
• 1:15:08
  and now you've made something for me. And that's true. If I can
• 1:15:12
  do something nice for you, you can do something nice for me. The
• 1:15:15
  alligator can be put away. A hungry alligator isn't so important anymore. He's
• 1:15:24
  bad, he's dead. Well, that's a pretty tender little alligator. It
• 1:15:33
  very very helpful to see him perform in this way, because you know that
• 1:15:38
  there is a tremendous need to be dependent and to be loved, and to
• 1:15:46
  have kind of physical contact which little boys, to sage should be able to
• 1:15:51
  have every once in a while. He's not quite as tough and as hard
• 1:15:56
  as he would like to as he's tried to make. People think if if
• 1:16:00
  he was as tough in as hard as he's made a lot of people think
• 1:16:02
  it be in deep trouble. I don't think he's quite in as deep trouble
• 1:16:06
  as perhaps they felt he was in the beginning. The people need some support
• 1:16:13
  and help as to how to handle him. He needs to be treated a
• 1:16:16
  little boy. Let's let's let's repeat that this is This is something modern psychology
• 1:16:25
  has completely forgotten. This to be loved and to have kind of physical contact
• 1:16:33
  which little boys that sage should be able to have everyone to be loved.
• 1:16:38
  He's not quite as tough and as hard affection as he would like to as
• 1:16:42
  he's tried to make people think. If he was as tough in as hard
• 1:16:45
  as he's made a lot of people think it be in deep trouble. I
• 1:16:48
  don't think he's quite in as deep trouble as perhaps they felt he was in
• 1:16:55
  the beginning. The people need some supporting help as to how he needs to
• 1:17:00
  be treated by your little boy. He needs to be treated like a little
• 1:17:04
  boy, a boy. He needs to be treated like a boy like It's
• 1:17:15
  It's the simplest answer. And and yet somehow, like these guys back in
• 1:17:24
  the sixties understood this, and today modern psychologists don't get it. The education
• 1:17:32
  system doesn't get it. Little boys need to be treated like little boys,
• 1:17:38
  not like defective little girls, not like little men, not like not like
• 1:17:45
  little monsters, right, not like little agents of the patriarchy, yeah,
• 1:17:51
  little potential rapists, not like little diseases. Little boys, not like little
• 1:17:59
  bit savioral problems. Little boys kids, like, how hard is that?
• 1:18:12
  So we'll stop there and we'll pick up there the next time. And I
• 1:18:16
  can't I can't. I can't remember whether I settled with prem on next week
• 1:18:20
  or the week after. So we may be back to this next week.
• 1:18:23
  We may be back to the article that we were going over with prem next
• 1:18:27
  week. I'll wait till I hear back from our messaged her like right before
• 1:18:30
  the show. So so we'll we'll get that figured out. But we'll we'll
• 1:18:38
  revisit this video one week or the other and we should be able to finish
• 1:18:44
  it because there's only like six minutes left to it. Yeah, so let's
• 1:18:48
  see here we have a Yeah, that's from the last show. So our
• 1:18:57
  first one here is Richard Bierre at six twenty one pm, so that would
• 1:19:01
  be right before showtime, gave us five dollars and set a military enlistment for
• 1:19:05
  the first time is technically for eight years. I think that was the tenth.
• 1:19:11
  Okay, yeah, that was the tenth, So that would have been
• 1:19:14
  Tuesday show. Am I still okay? I'm higher up and I thought I
• 1:19:17
  was. We read that one during the Tuesday show, and that one's from
• 1:19:23
  the Tuesday show. There's done. Okay, we got a super chow during
• 1:19:30
  the Tuesday show they didn't go through for some reason. Anonymous said, if
• 1:19:33
  you want real news on the Israel and Hama's conflict, look up Ryan Dawson,
• 1:19:39
  Max Blumenthal, and Norman Finkelstein dancing Israelized and nine to eleven USS Liberty.
• 1:19:46
  The day Israel attacked the United States, the ancient Christian Miracle Church,
• 1:19:50
  said to be where Jesus performed the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes, also
• 1:19:58
  known as the Feeding of the Five, was burned down by a Jewish arsonist.
• 1:20:02
  They tried to blame Palestinian Stinians. The Zionist Arsenists got away with it.
• 1:20:09
  Fuck Israel and anyone who supports Israel. So there is their super chow.
• 1:20:13
  Since it doesn't have anything to do with today's show, I'm really not
• 1:20:15
  going to comment on that personally. I the United States doesn't need a dog
• 1:20:21
  in that fight, so I don't know. I don't want to really get
• 1:20:26
  involved in that. What I will say is, here we are. We're
• 1:20:30
  talking about a video in which psychologists have just pointed out that boys need to
• 1:20:40
  be treated like little boys when they are little boys, and we're doing it
• 1:20:45
  in an environment where to the shop of absolutely no one. Right, our
• 1:20:53
  current news cycle includes our military in a nation that is not Israel, not
• 1:21:00
  Palestinian, not Russian, not Ukraine. We're none of those places. We
• 1:21:09
  are here. We're across the ocean from all of them. They're talking about
• 1:21:14
  needing to start drafting eighteen year olds, who, in reality, in our
• 1:21:21
  modern society, are still boys. They are still boys. They are not
• 1:21:28
  grown up. No matter how much we want to differentiate between seventeen and eighteen
• 1:21:35
  because of law and policy, the reality is that until they are thrown into
• 1:21:43
  an environment where they have to, eighteen year old boys are not grown up,
• 1:21:47
  and children mature more slowly. Modern children mature more slowly than children did
• 1:21:54
  years ago as well. But they want to draft eighteen year old boys and
• 1:22:01
  send them into those conflicts that have nothing to do with them and their lives
• 1:22:08
  and their country and the security of their homes, nothing exactly exactly, So
• 1:22:14
  that's my only take on it. Meanwhile, they're trying to pass legislation that
• 1:22:18
  says that you can't own an AR fifteen unless you're twenty one or over,
• 1:22:24
  but you're perfectly fine to go off and die in whatever war that we decide
• 1:22:28
  that you need to go be you know, we need your blood on this
• 1:22:31
  ground straws with which to fight that woman. Yeah, you're not old enough
• 1:22:36
  to buy beer. You're not old enough to decide whether or not you can
• 1:22:41
  handle a drink that is like five percent alcohol. Because American beer, a
• 1:22:48
  lot of it is really really low alcohol. We used to even have some
• 1:22:53
  that was lower. We used to have high beer and low beer. Low
• 1:22:56
  beer was three point two percent alcohol Jesus, and used to be like when
• 1:23:02
  boomers were in school, like during the Vietnam era, if you were eighteen
• 1:23:10
  you could buy three two beer, and if you were twenty one you could
• 1:23:13
  buy regular beer, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think you can
• 1:23:16
  buy non alcoholic beer when you're eighteen, too, although I don't know anybody
• 1:23:21
  that ever tested that, but if I think, I remember being told that
• 1:23:28
  you could sell non alcoholic beer to any adult, which I mean non alcoholic
• 1:23:33
  beer really is non alcoholic. It says half a percent, but there isn't
• 1:23:38
  actually any alcohol in it. They just have to put that on there just
• 1:23:41
  in case. Okay, So I'm understanding, because I'm thinking it's completely alcohol
• 1:23:46
  free and what's the fucking point. But it's like like somebody stuck their finger
• 1:23:53
  in a bottle of whatever and squirreled it around the bottle. So it's a
• 1:23:58
  little bit of alcohol in me. Yeah, it's beer flavored carbonated drink.
• 1:24:00
  They say, yeah, yeah, And it's all a bit of a molt
• 1:24:03
  point anyway, because beer tastes like shit. It's like it's like toffee with
• 1:24:08
  no caffeine in it. There's no point. People only like the taste of
• 1:24:11
  it because they get used to it. Yeah, they gonna get used to
• 1:24:14
  it because they drink it reguly for the chemopacts of it. It's well made.
• 1:24:18
  It does have a nice flavor. If beer doesn't get you drunk,
• 1:24:23
  it's just foul tasting soda. Yeah, it's it's I actually, depending on
• 1:24:32
  depending on how it's made. I do. I do like it. I
• 1:24:35
  can't have it anymore, but I like it. But yeah, no,
• 1:24:41
  I I I screwed up some some some of my health in the last few
• 1:24:46
  years, and so no, no more alcohol. But yeah, I Just
• 1:24:55
  the thing that gets me is the juxtaposition, right in an environment where we're
• 1:25:02
  we're being told about our military considering forcing our kids to grow up instantly at
• 1:25:10
  eighteen right, we were looking at a window in history where they used to
• 1:25:16
  understand that in order to go through the process of growing up, boys needed
• 1:25:26
  to be treated like little boys while they were little boys. And it just
• 1:25:31
  hit me seeing that message, you know, and I know there's probably a
• 1:25:35
  lot in there that we can respond to, like the I'm not even going
• 1:25:43
  to get into discussing the whole the way people respond to Judaism and the discussions
• 1:25:53
  about Zionism and all that that none of that has anything to do with the
• 1:25:58
  United States, you know, like we we don't have a dog in that
• 1:26:01
  fight. That's between people in that area. And I'm okay with people,
• 1:26:10
  you know, discussing opinions on that and everything. But now when we're talking
• 1:26:14
  about whether or not our children have to get involved in at risk to their
• 1:26:21
  own lives, yeah, like that's not their fight and they shouldn't be forced
• 1:26:26
  to fight it exactly. And let me just let everyone know on behalf of
• 1:26:32
  the black people, we do not care. Shouldn't should you care? You
• 1:26:39
  do not care? Okay, and no American should. Oh my god,
• 1:26:45
  I'm so sick of this and I would love to see this brought up in
• 1:26:48
  a debate. I don't think anyone would do it. Maybe Ramaswami would do
• 1:26:53
  it. But yeah, mister Mike Pence, you care about more about the
• 1:26:57
  Ukrainians than you do about America. That was your main goal, right that
• 1:27:02
  that was your main focus? All right? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:27:06
  Well now where do you stand? And the thing that I love even more
• 1:27:12
  about all of this are the people on Twitter, slash x, whatever you
• 1:27:16
  want to call it that have the the crane flag and the Israel flat Israeli
• 1:27:25
  flag, Like, do you not realize that some of your people don't like
• 1:27:30
  some of your other people? They don't, they don't. It really is,
• 1:27:38
  they've already already have a rainbow flag. That they got a rainbow flag
• 1:27:42
  and a Palestine flag. That's a dinner table conversation I'd like to hear.
• 1:27:47
  I mean, just vote for your own destruction? Why don't you? Well,
• 1:27:53
  I look at it from a perspective of of you know, how I
• 1:27:57
  grew up, right, I've talked talked about, you know, growing up
• 1:28:00
  in a neighborhood where there was a park two down two doors down from my
• 1:28:03
  house, surrounded by houses with you know, families that had a mom at
• 1:28:09
  home, a lot during the day, and so the kids would be at
• 1:28:13
  the park and the parents would be in the yards or in the kitchens looking
• 1:28:18
  at the park, but not at the park with the kids. And we
• 1:28:23
  we fought things out. Right. If there was a conflict and you got
• 1:28:27
  into an argument, you you know, it could come to blows and it
• 1:28:30
  could be I would finish. There wouldn't be someone come along now you kids,
• 1:28:34
  cut that out, you know, unless it looked like it was getting
• 1:28:40
  out of control, and then a mom would come along and say, hey,
• 1:28:43
  what's going on here? Why are you guys fighting? How come you
• 1:28:45
  haven't settled this yet, you know, and what's what's the deal? And
• 1:28:50
  and then we would we would tell her the two sides, you know,
• 1:28:54
  and and then then we would get well have you thought about X y Z.
• 1:29:00
  Why don't you try this? Stop hitting each other and play? And
• 1:29:04
  you know, maybe mom, the mom would go talk to the other kid's
• 1:29:08
  mom. You know, they're they're having difficulty figuring this out. You know.
• 1:29:13
  Once in a while there'd be an argument between moms. Your kid beat
• 1:29:15
  up my kid, But there wasn't this this you know, pampering. Right,
• 1:29:23
  So sometimes you would see a situation where the kids would be out of
• 1:29:27
  sight a little bit from the moms, and you'd get a fight going on,
• 1:29:31
  and some dumb ass little kid that wasn't involved in the fight would be
• 1:29:36
  egging one of the other kids hit him, hit him, beat him up,
• 1:29:40
  you know, and and maybe handing over rocks here, throw this at
• 1:29:44
  him, you know, stuff like that. The kid's not involved in the
• 1:29:45
  fight, but the kid is totally involved in the fight. And that's what
• 1:29:51
  the United States is doing right now. That's what our government is doing in
• 1:29:56
  our name. And the next thing that happens is the dominant kid in the
• 1:30:01
  fight who is being you know, who's either the kid that's being handed stuff
• 1:30:06
  and told you know, hit him, hit him, or the kid that's
• 1:30:09
  getting hit and getting rocks thrown at him. One or the other turns around
• 1:30:13
  and just clocks the little kid who's interfering in their fight. And then the
• 1:30:17
  kid learns to back off and not do that anymore. And you know,
• 1:30:23
  we have a government in charge right now that has weakened our defenses in an
• 1:30:31
  unprecedented manner to an unprecedented degree, and is now the little kid or or
• 1:30:39
  even the big kid, you know, the big brother or big sister that
• 1:30:43
  is standing off to the side, interfering in somebody else's fight, and one
• 1:30:48
  of these days they're going to get us clocked and then we're going to have
• 1:30:51
  to deal with it. And that's not fair to the American people or to
• 1:30:58
  the people whose fights we're interfering it. Maybe they would have settled their differences
• 1:31:01
  if we kept our nose out of their business, right right. And in
• 1:31:08
  terms of yeah, I don't know so much if we've done this in terms
• 1:31:13
  of of Ukraine and Russia, but we have funded both sides of the Israel
• 1:31:21
  Palestine fight. Mm hmmmm, through through the use of taxpayer dollars and through
• 1:31:29
  the use of private citizen donations, which is just bullshit, Like we've fueled
• 1:31:36
  conflict where there could have been peace. And that's our fault. Uh.
• 1:31:45
  That is how much taxes were voluntary, it would be our fault. But
• 1:31:50
  taxes, taxes, taxes aren't voluntary. But the politicians that we vote for,
• 1:31:57
  that is voluntary. Yeah, this is where it's important where you use
• 1:32:00
  the word we. Yeah, yeah, we have our taxes stolen from us
• 1:32:08
  to fund wars, but the government is not we. And if I refuse
• 1:32:12
  to call because this is a British thing as well. Like people often like
• 1:32:16
  to say, oh, we sailed all around the world colonizing it. I
• 1:32:19
  didn't do shit. Sorry, I didn't do it. I didn't do any
• 1:32:23
  of the good things that the British Empire did. Well. When I say
• 1:32:26
  we, I just turned up. I was born. When I say we,
• 1:32:30
  I'm including these my taxes get extracted by tyrannical bustards who then start wars
• 1:32:35
  everywhere. To that degree, yes it is we, dude, I voted
• 1:32:39
  Republican all of my adult life. I'm guilty. I'm not. I'm not.
• 1:32:45
  When I say we, I mean we we as as Americans did.
• 1:32:48
  We voted Republican or we voted Democrat, not third party candidates, not libertarians,
• 1:32:55
  not independents, not people have come along and said, you know,
• 1:32:58
  we need to be out of these wars, we need to not be involved
• 1:33:00
  in this shit. We have voted for people who have said we have to
• 1:33:03
  attack because X reasons. No, we have to attack because why reasons?
• 1:33:08
  You know, like I'm not innocent in that. Well, see, I
• 1:33:14
  think you have to look at this from another level, because these things are
• 1:33:19
  all generated by power levels, many many many times above just the simple politicians
• 1:33:29
  that we left. That's just that's like having a favorite super Bowl or a
• 1:33:35
  sports team, you know what I mean. When you realize that the NFL
• 1:33:41
  owns all of the sports teams and they get money either way no matter who
• 1:33:45
  wins or loses, then you kind of start to understand what we're dealing with.
• 1:33:49
  And this is what it is on a global level. The United States
• 1:33:56
  is it is the military arm of the globalists that want to control everything.
• 1:34:05
  The British are the financial arm of that. And and then the back in
• 1:34:14
  the well yes, and well there's the Rothschilds and all. Good. Lord,
• 1:34:19
  the web goes deep when you understand, when you understand how the power
• 1:34:27
  is is doled out and who really controls everything. We're being played against each
• 1:34:34
  other, and yeah, it's allowed it. We've we've never historically, in
• 1:34:43
  the last couple of generations, American voters never bothered to dig any deeper than
• 1:34:50
  gosh, all of the media is saying this one thing, and we haven't
• 1:34:56
  seen any contradiction. We're not seeing any debate. Why is that happening?
• 1:35:00
  Until until I guess gen X did come along and start saying, hey,
• 1:35:03
  did you notice that they all start sounding exactly alike. And interestingly, the
• 1:35:11
  person who drew that to our attention is one of the most hated right wing
• 1:35:16
  commentators of all time, hated by by the left, and one of the
• 1:35:20
  most loved as well by the right, and that was Rush Limbaugh. He's
• 1:35:25
  the first place I saw a montage of the news media saying exactly the same
• 1:35:31
  thing and exactly the same wording across a multitude of channels. And he's like,
• 1:35:35
  it's like a communication went out, everybody say this, and it was.
• 1:35:42
  It was quite interesting, and he did that on his show multiple times.
• 1:35:46
  But you know, when when, for instance, when nine to eleven
• 1:35:51
  happened, there were a lot of us that were just completely snowed. Didn't
• 1:35:58
  look any deeper than we've been at attacked, this is an emergency. A
• 1:36:01
  lot of people were fooled by the babies getting tossed out of Incubator's story.
• 1:36:08
  A lot of people were fooled by, you know, the whole deal of
• 1:36:15
  the propaganda that was around the attack and the connection between al Qaeda and Iraq
• 1:36:23
  and so on, And it was a pretty loose connection in a lot of
• 1:36:26
  ways. And no, because the real connection was between hel Kaida and the
• 1:36:30
  bushes right, and we voted for the politicians that promised the Patriot Act,
• 1:36:39
  which turned out to be the most invasive to the American civilian thing that our
• 1:36:46
  government had done so far. Obviously they've done more since then. We voted
• 1:36:53
  to regulate ourselves in response to propaganda about an enemy attack. We voted to
• 1:37:01
  have our governments spy on ourselves in response to propaganda about an enemy attack.
• 1:37:09
  And it is not just our generation. The Boomers voted for politicians that put
• 1:37:15
  people in camps here in the United States during World War Two because of their
• 1:37:21
  nationality. Like, they didn't start systematically killing them, but they did put
• 1:37:30
  them in camps. They spied on people for being the wrong nationality, They
• 1:37:38
  harassed people for being the wrong nationality, and they took them out of their
• 1:37:42
  homes and put them in camps because of paranoia. And it's happened generation after
• 1:37:48
  generation. And it's it's not just the taxation issue. It's we keep falling
• 1:37:59
  for this shit. And I hopefully I'm not the only gen xer you know,
• 1:38:03
  and in my situation, hopefully Lauren's not the only gen x or and
• 1:38:08
  Laurence situation that that that we're going, Hey, you know this is bullshit.
• 1:38:14
  Stop. Hopefully there's enough of us that are seeing seeing the pattern going.
• 1:38:21
  Uh. We can't trust anything the government says about this. We can't
• 1:38:25
  trust the situation. We can't trust the media. Uh. We can't trust
• 1:38:29
  the information that's being put in front of us. And we need to stop
• 1:38:35
  being used as a country as the world police, because we're not any better
• 1:38:45
  than an officer that walks into a situation three quarters of which has already happened,
• 1:38:50
  and then makes a judgment call, a snap judgment call in on the
• 1:38:57
  two seconds that he sees and decides the wrong person is at fault, or
• 1:39:02
  decides both parties are at fault when one is you know, or something like
• 1:39:06
  that, or that that you know, there's nothing to be done when there
• 1:39:12
  was something he didn't see that was actually meriting arrest. We're doing that.
• 1:39:20
  We're letting that happen, and it's affecting our children. Our boys might be
• 1:39:27
  sent to fight in a foreign country based on information that might not be true.
• 1:39:34
  Some of it absolutely is not true. We can we can be one
• 1:39:39
  hundred percent sure that at least a significant portion of everything we've been told by
• 1:39:45
  anybody commenting on this in in the mainstream, the establishment media, the politicians,
• 1:39:54
  even people that are mainstream online is either lies or stuff that they wrongly
• 1:40:01
  believe because somebody lied to them. Mm hmm. Right, So, and
• 1:40:08
  and it's it's not it's not it's not just boomers. It's not gen X
• 1:40:15
  has done this. Yeah, no, it's it's much It's much easier to
• 1:40:19
  let other people tell you how to think than to actually do the hard work,
• 1:40:25
  the heavy lifting, so to speak, of learning for yourself and researching
• 1:40:30
  and you know, turning off the TV and maybe reading a book or something.
• 1:40:38
  You know, but not enough people do that because it you know,
• 1:40:41
  they're busy living their lives, being comfortable, trying to get laid, you
• 1:40:45
  know, trying to make money. They don't have the too busy trying to
• 1:40:50
  maintain some sort of sense of normalcy. They don't want anything else from the
• 1:40:56
  outside to come in and shatter that or or threaten it. You know.
• 1:41:01
  So of course you and and of course nobody wants to be seen as the
• 1:41:04
  bad guy. And you know what happens when you turn fear into a virtue,
• 1:41:10
  Well then then you look like a bad person if you if you stand
• 1:41:16
  now or stick your neck out and say, well, wait a minute,
• 1:41:18
  this there's something wrong here. You know, you become the pariah, and
• 1:41:24
  nobody wants to do that because we see what happens now. Cancel culture is
• 1:41:30
  here and it's not going away. You know, you can't express a different
• 1:41:35
  opinion. They're trying to do this to to call Sark of a cod.
• 1:41:39
  He he was expressing his opinions about the whole situation, and somebody comes out
• 1:41:45
  of nowhere, well you know, out of the Twitter verse and starts to
• 1:41:50
  impugne his motives. And so he literally has to sit there and make a
• 1:41:56
  bullet point list of what he meant and why he said it, because if
• 1:42:00
  he doesn't do that, then they're gonna come for him again. They're gonna
• 1:42:02
  try to get him canceled again. You know, there are we are.
• 1:42:09
  You are punished for being a freethinker or for going against the status quo.
• 1:42:14
  So it's very easy just to follow the wall. I stand with this one,
• 1:42:18
  okay. I mean, if that's the easiest solution for you, if
• 1:42:23
  it makes you feel good, if it makes you sleep better at night,
• 1:42:27
  you stand with whoever you need to stand with. While we're over here realizing
• 1:42:30
  what is actually happening to us and not falling for the propaganda and the bullshit.
• 1:42:38
  Ye when remember when conscientious objectives were the outliers, when there weren't many
• 1:42:45
  of them, And that was that was in the days when you know,
• 1:42:48
  we had what's like World War two and actually getting invaded by Nazis and ship
• 1:42:54
  and now all the laws of the people's problems and everyone should be a conscientious
• 1:43:00
  objector to these kinds of wars like Ukraine and Israel and whatnot. The vast
• 1:43:06
  majority of people in countries that aren't involved, which is almost which is every
• 1:43:13
  country except those two, all those one and a half. Whatever you want
• 1:43:16
  to say, everyone should be a congenious subjector but that's not how it works
• 1:43:21
  when the government is in control of the media, and then you want to
• 1:43:26
  think and you can't find anything else to think unless you look into the darkness,
• 1:43:32
  the abyss, that is the evil Internet. People are trying to get
• 1:43:39
  along with their lives, but occasionally, just for shifting giggles, they turn
• 1:43:43
  on the TV to see what's going on in the world. That's how Boomers
• 1:43:46
  used to describe it. Watch the news, don't watch cartoons, Watch the
• 1:43:49
  news to see what's going on in the world. Well it was actually a
• 1:43:54
  vehicle for that. Yeah, irony, ironies, cartoons don't lie to us.
• 1:44:00
  That's true. Us see what's going on in the world. That's not
• 1:44:04
  what's going on in the world. That's what your government wants you to believe.
• 1:44:10
  It is. When there's this system where in Britain, every TV channel
• 1:44:15
  has to answer to Offcom, which is this regulator for TV channels, and
• 1:44:20
  offcom answers to the government. So anything you see on TV, it's not
• 1:44:26
  just the BBC, which is directly just government propaganda, but effectively everything on
• 1:44:31
  television is government propaganda because it all has to get filtered through Offcom, and
• 1:44:36
  I assume it's the same in most other countries. It's yes, you can
• 1:44:42
  say they're private companies, but they're private companies that have to answer to government
• 1:44:46
  regulators, so they're not private companies at all. And no, they can't
• 1:44:49
  do whatever the world they want. They have to do with the government tells
• 1:44:53
  them to do. And then people just flick on the TV let's see what's
• 1:44:58
  going on in the world, and they think they're being told the tr when
• 1:45:00
  they're being told somewhere between a half truth and a zero truth. That's all
• 1:45:06
  they ever get. And they think they're being told the truth, the whole
• 1:45:10
  truth, and nothing but the truth. Yeah. See, you don't need
• 1:45:14
  to turn off the TV, but just when you hear something on the TV,
• 1:45:17
  go to the internet and see if you can get a second opinion from
• 1:45:23
  some kind of doctor. Not mean, by the way, I'm not a
• 1:45:25
  real doctor. None of this is medical. I'll give medical advice, avoid
• 1:45:31
  lead poisoning, don't don't go to war for somebody else's country. That's if
• 1:45:39
  you want my motivations in this. It's it's real simple. There's two things.
• 1:45:45
  I don't want to see another generation of American kids, mostly boys.
• 1:45:51
  By the way, the military is is mostly male, about fourteen percent of
• 1:45:57
  it is female, and most of the positions that actually go out and fight
• 1:46:01
  are male. Most most women in the military do other things and their important
• 1:46:09
  jobs, but they're not frontline. They're not combat positions, right. A
• 1:46:15
  lot of them are in medical positions, so they might be kind of frontline.
• 1:46:19
  But I don't want to see another generation of American kids, mostly boys,
• 1:46:28
  do what my classmates did and in and enlist to go fight somewhere on
• 1:46:34
  on the basis of an emotional reaction and then find out later that they were
• 1:46:42
  lied to and tricked into it, and and they did what they did for
• 1:46:50
  no benefit to themselves, their families, their their country, nothing right.
• 1:46:58
  I certainly don't want to see a generation of young men, boys and young
• 1:47:04
  men get sent overseas somewhere and have their future mortgaged by their government over the
• 1:47:15
  course of twenty years to replace a governing body with itself, like happened in
• 1:47:25
  Afghanistan. I don't want to see that happen, and I don't want to
• 1:47:30
  see that happen to my draft aged son. So my motivations are caring about
• 1:47:40
  the use of my country and even more deeply caring about my own family,
• 1:47:49
  Like if that's going to happen to the kids that I watched grow up,
• 1:47:54
  and especially to my own son, you know, at least it should be
• 1:47:58
  for their benefit. At least the should be protecting themselves and their homeland,
• 1:48:02
  not doing something for for no benefit to themselves in their homeland. There were
• 1:48:11
  talking about risking lives and risking minds, a lifetime of PTSD injuries from from
• 1:48:21
  explosive devices and psychological injuries that can't even be quantified happening to kids, And
• 1:48:32
  it's not just a minor issue, you know, and it's it's it's not
• 1:48:36
  something that should be done lightly. And people are talking about it very lightly
• 1:48:42
  right now, and they're talking about it in terms of other people's interests and
• 1:48:47
  how important those interests are. They can fight for their interests, but it
• 1:48:54
  doesn't merit forcing or conning young people here into getting involved in that fight and
• 1:49:02
  being a kid standing on the sidelines handing one of the combatants' rocks until they
• 1:49:08
  get clocked for interfering. Meredith g gave us five dollars and said, HBr
• 1:49:15
  talked to eighty one. The point of talking about wars happening abroad on this
• 1:49:18
  channel is not about the geopolitics. It's about talking about the impact on men.
• 1:49:23
  Remember, the geopolitics is just how the power hungry get men to feed
• 1:49:28
  themselves into the meat grinders so the elite can get rich, right, And
• 1:49:34
  I think we're gonna have to do I think I'm gonna take Derek Workman's suggestion
• 1:49:41
  that we definitely need to do a future show on how to understand conscientious objector
• 1:49:48
  status because I think we're gonna need it. Yeah, I hope we don't,
• 1:49:59
  but there there will be. I I can find some articles on the
• 1:50:04
  subject. I can find the official statement on what the requirements are and stuff,
• 1:50:11
  and we'll just read them and uh, go over go over it because
• 1:50:15
  I I just you know, young people should be familiar with that. It's
• 1:50:21
  very important to be able to look at your morals and ethics and decide,
• 1:50:27
  uh, whether you fit, whether you fit the requirements for that status.
• 1:50:32
  And and if you feel if you feel like you're being pushed to get involved
• 1:50:41
  in a conflict that you have a moral objection to getting involved in, then
• 1:50:46
  you should be able to stand up for that and you should be able to
• 1:50:50
  exercise your legal rights as a citizen to not be forced into that. So
• 1:50:58
  that'll that'll definitely be in a CUB show and an upcoming discussion. We will
• 1:51:02
  finish the video and we will finish the article, So there will definitely be
• 1:51:06
  at least two weeks before we do that. And then unless you know,
• 1:51:12
  they they actually start enacting a draft and then we'll prioritize the conscientious objector discussion.
• 1:51:19
  But but that'll be that'll be our future episodes coming up. And with
• 1:51:28
  that, I don't know if anybody else has anything to say. On the
• 1:51:31
  topic, but I think not and I was just long enough for a sausage.
• 1:51:41
  Yeah. So I will thank my two co hosts for the thoughtful discussion
• 1:51:45
  and everybody for listening to the thoughtful discussion. It sort of makes an interesting
• 1:51:53
  juxtaposition, you know, the looking at how psychology used to understand little boys
• 1:52:00
  and then talking about the environment that our boys are in now. And I
• 1:52:06
  think everybody that works in the background to make HBr talk happen, and good
• 1:52:12
  idol let y'all, Good night,