Latest / From 9 to Mom / baby is here, now what? with Baby-Chick
Transcript
- Catie Fitzgerald: Welcome back to From Nine to Mom. Danielle: Where we discuss balancing the nine to five hustle with the beautiful chaos that we call motherhood. And today we are so excited. We have Nina Spears with us today. She's the founder and CEO of BabyChick. And I feel like some of you have probably seen this before. a trusted resource supporting women through pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and early motherhood. She's a certified baby planner, birth and postpartum doula, a childbirth educator, and she's to come out with a brand new book. She supported more than 800 families through their baby journey and 350 births. And through that experience, she's seen many different things come up with motherhood. And she really found that something that we've experienced as moms is that we're always really well prepared to have the baby, but not necessarily all the things that come that, the emotional, physical, and relational shifts. And she is an expert in that. And this has led her to create the SOAR method, which you'll talk a little bit more about. And like we said, she's gonna about to come out with a new book. So Nina, we are so excited to have you here today to talk to us about all things motherhood. So welcome to the pod. Nina Spears: ⁓ thank you so much for having me, ladies. This is gonna be a lot of fun. I I feel like we're gonna dive into some good topics. This is gonna be this is gonna be a good one. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes, I'm so excited because we've seen we both when we first met you, we were like, We've seen your content. We've definitely followed you and then we've had a mutual connection. It's been so good to connect over all of these things, but we need to start at the basics. You need to tell us about your motherhood journey, how you got to be where you are now. Nina Spears: Yes, absolutely. So a lot of people probably think, ⁓ you got into the space because you became a mom and you got inspired by motherhood. no, actually, that is not the case whatsoever. I started working with moms when I was at the ripe age of twenty-three, twenty-four, and I just quit my job. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: I had graduated from college, worked in sales, quit my job, and was like, I need to figure out my life, Katie. Danielle, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I was like, you know what, I really like babies and this, you know, so I'm gonna go work for this like mom and baby boutique and like just figure out my life. And I realized when working at this boutique, like these women have no idea what they're what they're doing, what they're they kept coming to me, this young girl who's childless. Being like, okay, should I get this breast pump? Or what do you think about like just because I'm behind the checkout counter, like I would know. and I just thought, ⁓ my gosh, you know how like people hire a wedding planner to just help you navigate the whole wedding system and like figure out what's best for you and make you just relax so you have a beautiful day. Like you hire a financial planner to hit, you know, your financial goals, you hire a trainer to hit your wellness goals. Why is there not like a baby planner that can like help you make that whole transition just a lot smoother? Let you know your options. Like, there should be that. I thought I was brilliant and I thought I created this entire new career. I was like, I'm a genius. And ⁓ I a quick Google search and realized, ⁓ there's a certification for this. So ⁓ I was like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna become a baby planner. I think this sounds really cool. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: So I got my certification and I started working with a couple families then one of the families, because you know, this is a big moment in your life. You get really close with people if you work with them for a significant amount of time. So she hired a doula, but she was like, Hey, Nina, you should come to my birth too. I would love for you to be there. And I was like, okay, I'll I'll come. ⁓ I really her. I ⁓ Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Huge. Danielle: Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: You you want me to come? Danielle: No kids, just I'm gonna come, it's fine. Nina Spears: Yeah, I'm gonna support you, sure. so I show up and ⁓ my gosh. Like you either think it's the most disgusting thing you've ever seen in your entire life, or you're like being called to the priesthood, and you're like, this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my whole life. So I was the latter, and I was like, I have to do this. So then I became I worked towards my certification as a birth doula. Then I realized how touch is so important and foundational all that. So I got my license as a massage therapist. I got certified in all the prenatal labor induction labor, postpartum, infant massage instructor as well. ⁓ Then realized women aren't preparing enough for postpartum. So then I got my certification as a postpartum dual. I'm also, like you said, childbirth educator, newborn care educator. ⁓ And just been it's been my passion to really support moms throughout their whole journey of becoming becoming a mother because you're becoming a whole new person. And happened all before I had children. Isn't that wild? ⁓ Danielle: That is crazy. Catie Fitzgerald: That is absolutely crazy. Yeah. I can't believe you were like had that moment of like, all right, I'm gonna just start from the beginning, like, I'm gonna just go do this. but it is ⁓ so cool to see that though, because you ⁓ to give advice. And that's where we wanted to go into too today of like getting advice, giving advice. How are you qualified to give advice? How do you vet people to do that? Mean Danielle actually did a whole episode on like how do you even know who to take advice from? ⁓ Nina Spears: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Catie Fitzgerald: But we were talking about, you know, the babies here now what? a lot of things that you do, you know, there is a lot of the prep part. And we want to get into, you know, both sides of that. but in your experience, you've worked with so many different families, we want to talk about how underprepared moms are actually when they come home from the hospital. So can you elaborate a little bit on that, on what you see in that postpartum time frame? Nina Spears: ⁓ for sure. Yeah. Katie, like, will never forget. There's like this one mom that I comes to mind ⁓ I worked with. And she was like, you know, Nina, I just felt so prepared. Like I had done all the things that I was supposed to do. And like we come home, one, I can't believe they let me leave with this child by myself. And it's this, it's this tiny baby in this like chunky car seat. And we put the baby ⁓ In the car seat and then take the car seat out with our baby in it and put it on the table. And we look at the baby and we looked at each other, and then we were like, what? And I was like, Yeah, because you have the house ready, you have the nursery ready, you have all the stuff. It's just okay, now what? Like, have you prepared ⁓ what recovery is gonna look like? What cluster feedings are gonna be like, what ⁓ you know, the sleep is gonna be like what how your relationship is going to change. Those are the things that I see that we've pre like, yeah, most moms like spend months preparing for the baby, but just very little time for becoming a mother. So yeah, like again, they know the stroller that they're gonna buy. They know, but but they don't understand like what cluster feeding is. Danielle: Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. It's Danielle: Why do you think that is? Like why do you think our culture is so ⁓ there's other cultures out there, obviously maternity leave looks different, or now they're starting to open post birth spas that you can go to in the big cities, like which is amazing. But why do you think our culture is so obsessed with the pre-stage getting prepared for baby and not at all for the postage? Nina Spears: Yes. Gosh, Danielle, I really think, know, I think it's because like babies are visible, but motherhood isn't. So ⁓ I mean by that is like, you know, registries, baby showers, and nurseries, like they're all exciting and easy to celebrate, but postpartum recovery, identity shifts, sleep deprivation, relationship changes, mental like those are not. Danielle: That's such a good way to put it. Nina Spears: So much, and they can be hard conversations. And I think our culture just celebrates the arrival of the baby, but often forgets like the person who gave birth. So, and I also think it's part of it is capitalism. ⁓ an entire industry built around helping you buy things for your baby. Like, ⁓ so much easier to sell parents things that's going to solve their problems. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: Than to actually help them like prepare emotionally, mentally, and relationally for like what's coming. And also think that there's just some deeper cultural issues at play. Like historically, we've focused more on the baby than the person having the baby. Like we celebrate the birth, but we don't always support the recovery. We ⁓ how the baby is sleeping, but not like how the mother is healing. We spend Sometimes thousands of dollars preparing a nursery and all the stuff in our house, but very little time talking about postpartum mental health, your identity and how that's changing, your relationship and how that might change, like with friendships ⁓ what your recovery will actually look like. So I just, ⁓ know, the irony is that when we support the mother, like everyone benefits, the baby benefits, the partner benefits, the family benefits. And I think then. Danielle: Mm-hmm. Nina Spears: The community benefits, then I think the world benefits. So in my is why I love what I do, because I think that if we just started taking care of mothers, like there would be world peace. Like we would have happier communities, happier, like means we have happier communities, happier states, happier countries, happier worlds. Like we just need to start at the foundation of our homes. And it's the mother. We are the nervous system of every home, the foundation of every home. And so ⁓ Everyone benefits, but because that support just doesn't come neatly packaged in a box, Danielle, like it just I think often gets overlooked. Catie Fitzgerald: Well, it's so true. I feel like I was a lot like that story you shared of like type A, right? Like I'm like, I nailed my registry. Like it's all gonna be set. I was set up at like 34 weeks. I'm like, nursery's done, my bag's packed. Like, when's this happening? And then, you know, bumps come. I mean, my first I had it 36 weeks. Good thing I did have mine ready. And like, you just there's so much you don't know. And it was a big reason we started this podcast is like we talk about like Nina Spears: Yes. Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: the mom group text or like things you share in your friend group. And I know something you focus on a lot is relationships. But you know, once you have that baby, friendships change. You're change with your, you know, they change with your partner, but we see it so often. And then we get to these new points in postpartum where we don't we don't have the answer. So we turn to something online and try to find resources and you try to buy that item that's going to help your baby sleep better so that you can get your sanity back Nina Spears: Mm. Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: Sometimes you don't think to just like text one of your friends that's been through it or get that different, you know, piece of that. So if you had to give advice, like what's the most common thing that you tell moms or like that you're hearing from moms that they wish they were prepared for? Nina Spears: Ooh, good one. I think it's I it has to do with like the loss of predictability as well ⁓ as learning to let go. Like I think that's a mother's job is one day have to let go of our babies too. Like that it's leading up to every like we have to let go during labor. We have to let go of certain expectations as we're parenting our child ⁓ and the having to let go that I think is something that Danielle: Hmm. Nina Spears: no one truly prepares you before. But baby, I think like most women are so used to being competent. Like they know how to manage their careers, their schedules, like the homes, their relationships. And then suddenly like they have this tiny human who doesn't follow a schedule necessarily. And everything feels unpredictable. So again, that predictability and that loss of control catches many women off guard. And You know, we spend our lives being rewarded for planning, achieving, and controlling outcomes that many women I work with, you know, they are like incredibly accomplished. They, you know, went to college, maybe even more. They built careers, they started businesses, amazing podcasts, like you two ladies, teams, learned that if they just worked hard enough, ⁓ can make things happen. But then pregnancy. Danielle: Mm-hmm. Nina Spears: Birth and motherhood show up and teach you completely different lesson. And, you know, because labor unfolds in its own time and in its own way. And babies don't necessarily read schedules, you know, like ⁓ breastfeeding doesn't always go according to plan. And sleep doesn't improve you checked every box. Like you bought of the swaddles, but you know, none of them are working. And ⁓ you thought these pacifiers are gonna work, but your baby won't take one. Like, so I think that. Danielle: Yep. Catie Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. It's not gonna work. Nina Spears: The women who struggle the most aren't the least capable. They're often like the most capable. They're just used to being independent, productive, and in control. You know, suddenly this, again, this tiny human just becomes the one who is setting the agenda. And I think one of like the biggest lessons of motherhood is learning the difference between control and influence. You can't control everything, but you can. prepare and respond and adapt and show up. So I think that shift is incredibly challenging for a lot of women. And that's also where so much so much growth happens. Danielle: That makes total sense. Hearing you put it that way, like even listening to you talk, I'm three years out of Daisy and I'm thinking like how much that relates to like how we all feel. And there's like all this guilt that piles up on moms because, like you said, we're high capacity. We've always succeeded. Just work hard and you get there, but then the baby has colic ⁓ breastfeeding journey isn't going well and you have to pump every three hours and you're not s it's just one of those things. Then you feel bad when it doesn't go according to plan. Nina Spears: Yeah. Danielle: So then there's different layers of that. And I think navigating through that, if we had if I had more resources at that time or more people were talking about what that looks like, because we don't want to say, I need help. Right. We're sitting there being like, I I don't want I've got this, right? But the reality is you don't sometimes like and that's what I learned I didn't have it by myself and I needed help, but I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to look like I didn't prepare well enough or that I wasn't ⁓ Nina Spears: Never for some reason. Yeah, yeah. Danielle: capable and it's not a capability issue. It's like everything in your life is changing. Your body, your mind, your career, relies on you and you are trying to navigate. So I think that what you're doing and what you're saying is such a benefit to women and if you had it before, right? Think about if you knew that before and you could start prepping and planning. Go if you're in therapy, going to therapy talking about what might change. Like come that would have been like like game changing, I think Katie Freak, both of us. Nina Spears: Yes. Yes. Yes. Catie Fitzgerald: Absolutely. Well, I think that's too like where the information overload comes. We've talked about it so many times, and you try to take so much advice, or when you're in it, it's hard to get the advice or ask for the advice. And I would, you know, one of the things that we've always focused on, and like a big reason we connected, right, is like how to find experts that you can have access to to ask. Nina Spears: Mm. For sure. Catie Fitzgerald: questions and and do those things. So we wanted to ask you too. So from to early childhood, your years being a doula, how did that shape content that you're building to share with, you know, to be moms, moms? And you how do you kind of vet ⁓ the information you're putting out there for for moms? Nina Spears: ⁓ yeah, absolutely. Well, that's like the cornerstone, like the foundation of what sh like made BabyChick what it is. Like, you know, baby chick wasn't built from like a keyword research, not at all. It was was built from like real conversations with real families inside their homes. Like before had Baby Chick, I had my first company was called Bassett Baby Planning. ⁓ Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: And that was the one that I was the baby planner. And then I grew in a duel into a dual and did all of this. And I was working with all these families. I became ⁓ sought after that I had to bring more people and train them. ⁓ so I had up to 12 women also going out into the greater Houston area where I'm located, serving moms. And it's because we just heard all these questions over and over. And ⁓ I was just like, ⁓ my gosh, if I just created something that could give them the information that they are looking for so that they can make the right choice for them because every circumstance is different, then I wouldn't have to maybe say the same things over and over again. I could be like, hey, before we go to this meeting, I'd love for you to check out just these articles. So I would be able to point them out, like, read this guide, check this out, you know, and then when I meet you, it might stir some different. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: questions that I might not hear over and over again. And then also it prepares them for that next step of like, I didn't even think about this. ⁓ is what I need to to be thinking about. And, you know, I don't you were just saying, you know, Katie, like, is the internet like, you know, failing moms or, you know, and there's there's so much information, you know, I I think the problem obviously is a lack of information anymore. my gosh. ⁓ I But I do think that the problem is an abundance of information without context. So, like moms today, you know, we have access to more information than any generation before them. Like, but yet still feel like more confused than ever because they're just getting advice from gosh, media, parenting influencers, Facebook groups, Reddit threads. Family members, Chat GPT, Claude, like healthcare providers, podcasts, and searches, like and all of them at the same time. And that is so that's like paralysis, I think. This is just information overload. And it's it's really, really tough for women. So I think I think the internet has become an incredibly good at delivering information, but not always at helping parents understand how to apply. ⁓ Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: That information to the like their unique child and their unique circumstances. And I just think that parents don't need necessarily more information. Again, when I started BabyChick, it was it was 2015, Mother's Day 2015, because I had was working with women January since January 2011. the internet has definitely changed and grown since then. And so also at BabyChick, we've adapted. And, you know, because there is so much information that we want to make sure that everything that we're sharing is credentialed from real experience, evidence-based ⁓ recommendations, everything is being reviewed. so that's the gap that we're trying to fill with baby chick and with with my new book as well, you know, the baby chick guide to positive pregnancy, so that women just know, like, okay, I know where can go to get some real information and ⁓ Just making this understandable, digestible, and not so overwhelming, you know. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, no, it's really I'm so glad that Chat GPT wasn't around like as I was giving birth and like doing that because I know I would have been on it. I mean, so Danielle and I are in, you know, AI all day, every day, working in marketing and that. And now you can only imagine the things people are searching and finding it. And to just put this out there on the internet, because I somebody I heard somebody say it at a conference and for a long time, and even still now, data sources that are connected to those AIs. Nina Spears: Totally. Catie Fitzgerald: They pull from WebMD. So you're getting that info, like medical advice when you ask it. The number one source is from WebMD. And you know how doctors feel about that. so just always interesting to me of like where people are gathering the information. How do you validate? And that was a big reason Danielle and I were starting to kind of outreach to professionals. You know, we're sharing our stories, which is awesome. We want to make a place where Nina Spears: Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: I think that's what's helped me the most is like hearing other moms stor like go what they've gone through or hearing how it's been with their kids. It's not always like the medical, you know, article online. It's like, how did you actually handle it as a mom and like get through whatever that was? So it's Danielle: A hundred percent. Nina Spears: Yes. Yes. Because that, I mean, we're not going back to like we're in our own, like, it's such an atomized world now. Like we're in our own homes. We're not learning from our aunties and our grandmothers. We're learning from the And that can be really hard. And so when you actually are connecting with people and hearing their stories, that's what motherhood was supposed to be done alone. Catie Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. Nina Spears: And I feel like whilst exactly. And but the thing is like the internet can only go so far. And I think that connection, the connection part is where that's when I think when you meet someone, like even how we met before, you're like, Are you cool? Are you like, are you cool? Cool. Like, are you gonna share helpful information? Are you gonna just share a whole bunch of puffy stuff? Like, no, you wanna make sure that Danielle: When they say it takes a village, does. Catie Fitzgerald: All right. Yeah. Nina Spears: you can trust and and relate to that person. And I think that's where, you know, social media, anyone can have a voice. So you don't know if that that connection is happening or not. So know it it can be really tough with the whole trustworthiness. I totally agree with you, Katie. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, it's it's definitely tough. So obviously on this podcast we talk a lot about working moms I'm sure you have some stories you can share about moms that are transitioning back to work, moms you've supported, you know, what's making it so much harder than people expect. Can you share some s stories of of moms that you've worked with? Nina Spears: Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally. So yeah. ⁓ gosh. I think like of the hardest parts I from women that are like expected to return to work is that they're also still becoming a mother. Like most people think the challenge may be just like the logistics and the pumping and the childcare and the schedules. And that's what they talk to me about is like, okay, Nina, I need to like have this whole ⁓ plan. yeah, those things are hard. Yes, totally. But like underneath all of that is identity. Like we're you're returning to work as a completely different person than who left. And many women are navigating that guilt, the grief, maybe excitement, relief, like anxiety, ambition, exhaustion. Like all of that simultaneously. That is so much to be going through someone and still recovering, ⁓ know, like even though you are, you know. The fourth trimester is the first 12 weeks, but postpartum is forever. Like you were you are constantly growing and changing and evolving into this mother, you know? And y you love your children and maybe you also love your career. Like all of this, it's it can it can be so hard. And sometimes, like I think our culture just makes women feel like they have to choose. And that's really hard. and the moms supported often struggle. They're not like, it's not that they're incapable. It's it's because they're just trying to excel in multiple demanding roles in their life while also adjusting to like one of the biggest life transitions they'll ever experience. And that's becoming a mom. So that's I think the the hardest thing that I I see women struggle with when returning back to work. Danielle: Yeah, I would agree that that's something that Katie and I both feel, a lot of our friends feel. And I think you put it perfectly when you're like, you can love your kids, you can love your career. And I remember people telling me, you're never gonna come back the same. Like when you come back to work, and I didn't, I didn't believe it because in that moment you're like, no, I am going to be this person forever. This is who I am. And then you have a baby and you're like, ⁓ my God, I'm a totally different person. do I feel about that? And do think that that makes it difficult because you're trying to navigate. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. And Nina Spears: No. Totally. Danielle: the different feelings that you have and each month is something new, right? Like you're grieving the loss of it's not a loss. Your baby's growing so fast. And then all of a sudden they're seven and you're like, you're missing the the little child of them, but you're excited for the future child and you're thinking, how do I fit into this with my career? It's just, it can be emotionally overwhelming. So with that being said, what's like one thing you tell moms, like as they enter that fourth trimester and beyond, like how do you Nina Spears: Yes. Danielle: Help them through that emotional, I'm not gonna call it a crisis, but that emotional Like what's if the biggest piece of advice you have? Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: ⁓ my gosh, just be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself and all the emotions that you're feeling, like that's okay. ⁓ is okay to be excited to go to work, or it's to also dread it and wish that you were never having to return. Like all everything in that, that's okay. I think that you need to also talk to someone about those feelings. Again, motherhood was never meant to be done alone. And whether you're or dreading it and hate it, like. We need to be together and support each other. And again, it just all comes down to honestly support. Like the more that we can support women and mothers, the better that they're going to be off, and the better that they're going to be able to take care of their babies and their families and return back to work feeling better if that's what they want to do, or even if that's not what they want to do. It all comes down to line up your support it's okay no matter how you feel. Find your safe people that you can talk to. Because you need to process those feelings and I and that's the healthy thing to do. And there are people out there, like whether you have a village or you have to buy that village, like find it and and get it because you deserve it. Catie Fitzgerald: I like that, even if you have to buy it. I it's interesting though, because that you know, I talked about like your friends change and so many things change like once you become the mom. And I think something too is like finding those people that you're not afraid to say, like, wow, this happened ⁓ I need to tell somebody. ⁓ it's also like me being a mom too, like you want to be that person for other people too. You want somebody to feel comfortable coming to you talking about that, especially if you didn't have it. Danielle: Yeah, yeah. Nina Spears: Totally. Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: And I feel like I was like the first person in my circle that was became a mom, you know, of my friends and siblings and that. And then as they've had babies, they're like, Katie, I wish I knew to how have supported you because I just truly had no idea. And I'm like, the only thing we can hope for is you do it for the next person, right? Like you you now know. So, ⁓ you be there for the next person. And it yeah, like we gotta keep it, keep it going. Nina Spears: Yes. Exactly. Danielle: Pay it forward. Nina Spears: Yes. Absolutely. Like they say, like if you want a village, be a villager. You need to be a villager. You can't just expect a village to show up if you are not going to show up for other people. And that's what I'm always like, okay, it's my turn to pass the torch and like hand it to the next mom. Like here, here I am with all the the food. Let me, let me do whatever I can to like make things easier for you. I've even done like for my sister-in-law when she had her baby. I was like, Catie Fitzgerald: We go. Yeah. Nina Spears: I'm gonna spend the night because she was formula feeding. I was like, I will feed this baby. I want you to just sleep. You know, like you it's yeah, one night. I can do that. I can leave. Catie Fitzgerald: One night. Danielle: And that one night can change your whole trajectory of the next month for real. Nina Spears: ⁓ she's to this day still brings it up. Her kid is now like seven. And she's like, I just will never forget that. Like that was the best gift you could have given me. And it just made me feel so cared for. And that's why I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, if you see a mom just even things, even like, ⁓ my gosh, you are doing an amazing job. Like just ⁓ giving lifting her up. Like, Danielle: Mm-hmm. Nina Spears: Just even little things. If you can't do much, like writing her a note, like just whatever you can do, it means so much. And and that will pass forward. That's the the biggest thing I tell people. Please be a villager. Please be a villager. Because then she's gonna look around her and be like, wow, I have this incredible village and I'm gonna pay it forward. Danielle: Yeah. And I think too with that, the my question I have for you is recently I started noticing as my kids are getting a little older that sometimes the moms who look like they have it all together, like I'll say one little thing, I'll make one little comment or ask a question or compliment how their child behaves and they'll be like, This literally just happened. I Your child your child is so respectful and always so kind when I'm here. And the person said, Not at home. I'm struggling with A, B, C, D. And I would have never known that that parent Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Danielle: was struggling. So like, is it typical that people who look like they've got it all together on the outside might be like struggling on the inside? And how do you suggest breaking through to them? Nina Spears: Absolutely. ⁓ my gosh. I will go into some of the prettiest homes, into these look like picture perfect families. And when you're there at all hours of the day and night, you see the full picture. ⁓ no, no life is perfect. No one's. there is always something. There is always something. And struggling with something. Even if it's just minor as like, ⁓ no, my kid has talks back all the time or something. Catie Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. Nina Spears: But it could be even deeper than that. so ⁓ think that we cannot judge people on a snapshot that we see, whether that's on social media, whether that's at the park, what ⁓ we do not know what they're through. ⁓ And I that that's why not only do we need to give ourselves more grace, but we need to give others because we truly do not know the full picture of what they're through. But ⁓ so even the who look Like they have everything together. They usually are working the hardest to mask some of the ugliest monsters. And so I think that we just need to be super gracious and just be kind. You know, it costs you nothing. Catie Fitzgerald: Absolutely. So if you have to narrow it down, we've asked you a few times now. So what's one thing now we're talking before baby arrives, right? What's the one thing you wish you could tell every single single mom before the baby comes? Nina Spears: ⁓ yeah. think I would tell them that motherhood isn't something that you master. Like it's just, it's, someone you become and it's something that you learn as you go. Like you're never gonna be like, I've got this, I've studied this, like I'm gonna ace this test. Like, no, no, no, this test is forever. And I think I think so many like approach pregnancy and parenting thinking like there's a finish line. Like, Where they're just gonna finally feel fully prepared, fully just confident and completely in control. But like that moment is never gonna come. Instead, motherhood is just this continual process of growth ⁓ and and adaptation. And I think like the goal is really just learning to trust yourself, trust your instincts, ask for support. That's like my biggest thing. Stay curious give yourself grace as you grow alongside your child. ⁓ because you know, at the end of the day, like people say this all the time, like a baby doesn't need a perfect mother. They need a healthy, and supported one. Like that's what I want every mom to know. Catie Fitzgerald: That is n that you absolutely nailed it. I feel like that's that's I'm like, wait, I'm digesting this for myself. Like I'm telling myself this, hold on. Danielle: Yeah, I want the beginning of that on our shirt. We're just gonna use that as our quote. I'm giving the affirmations to myself as you're speaking. I'm like, let's go. Nina Spears: Ha ha ha. Cause it's true. It's just you're never gonna be like, like there's always a new thing that comes up. There's always like you think, ⁓ we just made it through this. No, there's another hurdle you're gonna go through with your child as they grow. shoot, my mom is still dealing with me. I'm almost 40, you know? Like, I still call her and she, you know what I mean? It's forever. ⁓ doesn't end. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, right. We all it's not gonna end. Yes, it is ⁓ Danielle: I send my mom those Instagrams constantly 'cause I'm forty and I'm like, You're never getting rid of me. You're never getting rid of me. Nina Spears: Never. Sorry. So that's why that's why I just want you to know like you're never gonna master it. You're always learning, you're always growing, you're always adapting. And that's okay because you're growing with your child. You're not supposed to be perfect. None of us are. as long as you show up with love, curiosity, with you know, just wish the best for you and your baby, like you're you're doing a great job. Catie Fitzgerald: Absolutely not. Absolutely amazing. I feel like we could chat with you forever, but we need to all busy moms. We gotta keep keep things rolling. but we did wanna just call out your book again. So the baby chick guide to positive pregnancy. When's the official release date? We're in pre order right now. Nina Spears: Mm. Yes, pre-order right now, but it is available June 30th. Catie Fitzgerald: June thirtieth, coming up quick and if you Danielle: Can you tell us a little bit more about what it's about? Nina Spears: Yeah, absolutely. So basically, my book is like a baby planner and a doula in book form. So if you're like, what should I be thinking about? Because again, Danielle, my clients kept asking the same questions. And sometimes they're like, ⁓ I won't read that article. But they like having something to hold and something to go through and guide them each step of the way. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna make this like each month what you should be thinking about. What are you? What are some options that maybe you didn't even know were an available to you? have you go through that? And not only that, it has partner tips on there. So you shouldn't be carrying this pregnancy by yourself. No. You shouldn't be having to hold all of this mental load because they say, motherhood is when the invisible load starts. No, no, no. It starts during ⁓ pregnancy maybe even try like when you're trying to conceive. No, no, no. so no. Danielle: Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: Right. Nina Spears: There are things that your partner can do. and so there's stuff in that. And not only that, it also has meditations because it links to my app ⁓ you get for free with my book ⁓ with a birth book purchase, ⁓ well as recipes, as well as workouts. So it really does get you so more prepared for birth and for postpartum. So that's how you can have a more positive pregnancy. Catie Fitzgerald: We're so excited. And you have an amazing baby registry giveaway right now. If you order the pre-order, there's over $5,500 in prizes. Everyone needs to go check it out. We'll make sure everything's linked up in the show notes here. But I mean, Halo, Mockingbird, like a three month, I think I saw three month supply of diapers. Come on. Yes, so amazing. So ⁓ definitely be checking it out. We have all of Nina's links below if you haven't checked out Baby Chick before. Nina Spears: Yeah. Yes, from Coterie, yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: Make sure you guys go and give her a follow and check out the new book coming at the end of the month. But Nina, thank you so much. I know. So good. Danielle: You know, you are amazing. This was incredible. Nina Spears: You guys are amazing. Thank you. Danielle: Thank you for sharing your wisdom with our ⁓ our listeners. I think that everything we talked about is close to all of our hearts and you know, I think people will be able to take quite a bit back. But pre order the book, everybody. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Nina Spears: Thank you guys so much. It's just been an honor. I'm so glad I got to chat with y'all. It's it's been so much fun. And thank you. Thank you again. Catie Fitzgerald: Amazing. We will see you all next time.