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College Parents Weekend What Really Happens with Lisa Bedford & Sylvia Scott · The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas)

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Watching your mom care tirelessly for your dad can be both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: You see the love, but you also see the exhaustion.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: And too often, they're the last ones to ask for help.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: If that sounds like your family, I want you to meet Adam Lampert, CEO of Cambridge Caregivers.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Adam, how does Cambridge step in to support families when one parent is clearly overwhelmed caring for the other?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Martha, we see this all the time, and every time it's a delicate balance.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: At Cambridge, we gently step in to support the caregiving spouse so that they can focus on being a partner, not just the nurse.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Our caregivers are trained professionals who help with everything from daily routines to companionship.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we do it in a way that preserves dignity, respect, and the deep bond between the spouses.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's what makes Cambridge so special.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: You recognize that caregiving is an act of love.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: But even the most devoted spouse needs help.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And getting that help doesn't mean they're failing.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: It means they're taking care of themselves too.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: If someone in your family is caring too much on their own, it's time to step in.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Visit Cambridge Caregivers.com or call 214-649-9922.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's 214-649-9922.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Cambridge Caregivers, care for your whole family when it matters most.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Bubble Lounge.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Martha Jackson.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: And if you've got a college student, there is a good chance you either just got back from Parents' Weekend or you're packing your spirit wear and heading out soon.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing every single parent agrees on, it's exhausting.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: We all go in thinking it's going to be this sweet, relaxing visit, and then two days later, you're dehydrated, broke, emotionally drained, and wondering how your kid can survive on so little sleep and so much caffeine.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're keeping it real with two moms who have been through multiple parents' weekends, all of us with totally different experiences.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're talking about what to expect, what to avoid, and how to actually enjoy it instead of needing a recovery day afterward.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: We'll share our best tips, funny stories, and what not to do.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So whether you're heading to campus soon or still unpacking from your trip, grab your coffee and join us for a candid conversation about the highs, lows, and all the chaos of Parents Weekend.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Joining me today is Lisa Bedford and Sylvia Scott, who have experienced numerous Parents Weekends and they have a lot to share.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Ladies, welcome to the show.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, how are you?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, thanks for having us.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if you could, could you each introduce yourselves and tell us about your kids and where they are in college or if they graduated?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'll go in alphabetical order.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Lisa Bedford, and I have a daughter that's 24, and she graduated from OU a couple of years ago.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: And then I have a son that's a senior, Jesse, and he's undecided.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: He's still in high school.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Got it.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm Sylvia Scott and I have a daughter, Eleanor Scott, who is one of Susie's good friends and graduated from UT two years ago as well and lives here.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: And uh a son who's in his third semester uh senior year at UT as well.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think most of you know that I have a junior at UT.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: So we're very heavy on the Texas OU, OU Texas combination, which was not planned out ironically.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a big Red River rivalry this week.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I never can say that right.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: But so let's talk before we get started on what we're here to talk about.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about predictions for the game.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: Rock, paper, scissors in it with horns up or down.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: One, two, three.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Sylvia missed it.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a limited on it.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: We have horns down.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: We have two down and one up.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to say I went to OU myself and I love Arch Manning.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I am like such a fan, and I just feel so bad for him right now.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like how the media is treating him.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: They like built him up too much, and then now they're tearing him down too much.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of pressure on him.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: It just goes out to him.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just, I'm I'm really feeling it for him.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I am a little concerned about his play on Saturday.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I just hope it's a a good game, a busy game.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and no injuries.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: No injuries.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I hate the injuries.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let's get to what we're talking about.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: We're here to talk about Parents' Weekend.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I just I and you as well.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: We just had ours at UT a couple of weeks ago.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Ours didn't really go as we had hoped, to say the least.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's just kind of what got me talking to so many different parents around the neighborhood, comparing stories, finding out how theirs went and all the things.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone has a different story, but universally everyone says, I am so tired, right?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Were you guys just so exhausted out?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: My son uh is is a Kappa Sig, but went in active.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: So we didn't have a Parents Week in this year.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: This was probably our first, I guess, maybe.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um so I don't have a recent one to comment on, but are we commenting on previous ones?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yes, we are.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: So then my daughter was um a theta.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: And those were, they were fun, I have to say.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: They were they were a lot of fun.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: It was kind of like going back to college myself.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: My my husband did, he also went to Texas.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: So he would be able to see a lot of, you know, for uh uh fraternity uh brothers and and the like, but um and it was exhausting.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: It was always very exhausting.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: Sunday kind of didn't come soon enough.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: I know I felt that way too.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm a lightweight, and I mean, oh my god, my daughter, every single parents' weekend, mom, let's do shots at the bar.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I can't even take a sip of wine without feeling it.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: So you fix yourself, you gotta hydrate.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: You're in for the long haul for sure.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the funny thing is most of us are kind of like in our middle age by the time our kids are at in college and doing parents' weekend.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And us middle agers really aren't meant to stay out late and do shots at the bar and things like that.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: But yet on this one particular weekend, it's kind of expected out of you.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: You're darn right it is.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I cannot keep up.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: My liver hurt.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: Whoa.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: And okay, let's talk about the bars and even the let's go to the tailgates.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go to the sorority tailgates or the fraternity.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: I would just sit there.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: I remember there was a place called Yo Pablo in Norman.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: And two years in a row, Theta, because Susie was also a Theta, they they had like a welcome reception.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't hear what and I mean when I tell you I couldn't hear, I just smiled and I'm like, you know, I you know what I did?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: I got a marker and I wrote, Oh my god.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Lisa.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, because I couldn't hear.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so too loud.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, and I guess an old geezer.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So would you recommend bringing a dry erase board?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you can communicate.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm serious, or maybe one of those Google translators.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, at least it would translate on your phone because I was so embarrassed and I met so many people, but I could tell they were doing that.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I was like Charlie Brown's teacher.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's so frustrating though.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: You were having a chance to meet some really interesting people and you couldn't ever hear anybody here every year.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, senior year, Susie's like, Mom, you don't do well in that situation.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe we don't go to the welcome.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I didn't.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I was refreshing.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what happened the next day?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: The next day, I mean, we always kind of had the typical thing.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: Susie would go out because I, you know, 10 o'clock.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Susie would go out with her friends.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, I'd either stay with her.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's the beauty of if you've got one in a house, like in like an apartment or whatever.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: I would stay with her junior and senior year.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: So we do a late brunch and uh it never goes on time.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: Did y'all notice?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, if you've got, you know, a certain time, no, you will wait and wait and wait till you're gonna feel like leaving.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I did one time.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, what would happen if I just went back?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: And would she notice?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: So you would stay in with her in her apartment?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, junior and senior year, we just shared a bed, and that was kind of nice.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Cause another fun fact and tip, and I I'm sure you'll have this any college town would, is buckle up because you have to lock in at what two night minimum.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, at least$500.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: And it if like it in Norman, everything books so quickly.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I thought about what it would be like if I literally booked every weekend, you know, like during football season.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then I just cancel if you're not going.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: You can cancel them or they're not refundable.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's true.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's true.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: They get you, they they get you there.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: Austin was a bit because I think it was so much, it was bigger, but you just had so many other people that were there anyway for other stuff.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: So that they that was one thing that was was good about it was not getting too snagged on the the expense of the hotels.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: Were you even in your rooms?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm like, I don't know.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Not really.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Not very much, but that's like my number one tip is that I wanted to share is like really plan early.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Get those hotels, those uh restaurant reservations if you need tickets to anything.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Any plans that you need to do, you need to make those early because you're competing with so many other people that same weekend.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, the hotel rates that they know their audience.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: They know you you have to come in town and they jack those rates up really high.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And they are proud of it too.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: They are proud of it.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's really annoying.
• 9:09
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• 9:15
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• 9:19
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• 9:43
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• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone spends a lot of money to go to these things.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: You spend extra on the Telgate party tickets and traveling.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: Some people have to fly.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're all lucky that we were drivable.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: But then you get there and a lot of times the kids don't actually have time for you on quote unquote parents' weekend.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Which I found ironic.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: I want to hear your stories about that.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: If you did get to spend some good time with your kid.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Sylvia, I'm sure Eleanor was with you.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we spent more time with my daughter.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but frankly, I think sometimes we, you know, of course, we would have gone home earlier than her on Friday night.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: So if she had a late Friday night, then she wasn't really up and at him too early on Saturday.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: But there was always like a fraternity party, stop by the sorority house, which is kind of coming and going a lot.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: Our son is in mechanical engineering, so he didn't really have much time for us at all.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, he would kind of stop by a party for a little bit and then leave.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_03: So then it was we were on our own.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um and so we know we didn't get to see him very much.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: But but to your point, you do definitely have to plan ahead a lot, especially restaurant reservations and if you're going with groups of people and stuff.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I have a tip.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: This is my tip, and because I have a six-year gap between my kids, I don't know that it's good to bring, I know it's sometimes family weekend, parent weekend.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that it's good to bring your younger kids.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think I and I did that freshman year, um, and Susie's sophomore year, even I think I did senior year, and just there's stuff going on they don't need to see.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm really glad you're bringing this up because it was on my list to talk about.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: We brought our son as well for the first Parents Weekend.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason being, the only family I would have been comfortable asking for him to stay with also had Parents' Weekend at UT.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: So he came along.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I think best case scenario, you shouldn't, because of what you just said, that might there could be some things you don't want him to see just yet about college life.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: But then secondly, I feel like you really need to give your full attention to your kid that is in school there, and having that other sibling can take away some of that attention.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: And to your point there, there's time to bring, you know, the kids up.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's just not that weekend.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, I think it's nice.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you come up on a bye week or something, and that's when the kids visit.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: A little more intimate, a little bit looser.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or another football game.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a parents' weekend.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: For sure.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah for sure.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think I tainted Jesse several times.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm sure he loved it.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, he did.
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• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let's also talk about something that uh you talked about scheduling.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: I've Martha, I hear you a lot talking about schedule, schedule, schedule.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: I say don't.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because then you're gonna get mad.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: If you schedule stuff and you have expectations, I think you both are kind of like, let's let's set the bar.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: This is the way it's gonna work.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: For me, I would say let's just go with the flow, because then I won't end up being hurt at the end.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think that you will be happier at the end of the weekend if you do at least this way for sure.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because there is so much packed into these parents' weekends, and you do have the option.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to do every single thing.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're gonna feel like that you need to, but you don't have to, right?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, for sure.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because they overbook us.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I want to know who got in fights over Parents' Weekend.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-oh.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-oh.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: I know I did.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Senior year operated, go back.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't think we did.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: No, I don't we never had any fights.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: I will say, not related to this, but uh, this always made me laugh was um Eleanor telling me maybe it was her junior year, that they all the girls would take like that week leading up to Parents Weekend, they were relaxing and high, like they they themselves were talking about like, oh my gosh, get ready, the parents are coming.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like for them, the rest are coming.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: It was so funny.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: So for them, it was um, you know, like we've got to prepare ourselves because the parents were coming in and like, hey, it's a do-over, we're doing college again, and we're that is true.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: I saw some of that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: I saw that the lightweights like myself.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: Does anyone else have this issue?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm telling you, if if my daughter went to graduate school at UTD and if they had a parents' weekend she wanted me to go to, she would still do this.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: I had to be dressed by Susie.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: I had every outfit I had had to be picked out by her.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: She took, she ordered it like months before.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, she would dress me.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Nom no, that's bold lip.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like that.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, just really I and I remember one parents' weekend that I went to, she had me wear these really tight jeans and this really crop top that showed my belly.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, the whole time, all I could think about, I could not breathe.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: And then it was tailgate after tailgate.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Because when your kids are Greek, and not everyone's are, you have the art of the Darty.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: Y'all know what a Darty is.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's a day time.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: The Darty, and then you, you know, then you've got the the after party and then the after after party, and then the bar crawl.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I was so uncomfortable by the end of the night.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: I think I got in the Uber and I unzipped my hand.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Susie is real bad about that.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I did look good.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I bet you did.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: I do I have snapped pictures of what I was thinking about wearing, and I've run them by her.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to do anything to embarrass her.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: Heaven forbid.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you were asking about any fights.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I would say more a situation of managing expectations.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: As Alexis planned a lovely brunch for us on Saturday.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: The game wasn't until later that afternoon.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so we went to the brunch.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: We'd had plenty to eat.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then she wanted to stop by Matt's, where her friends were supposed to be, and go say hello.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, her friends weren't there.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: The entire city of Austin was there trying to get a table.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: They don't do reservations, I don't think.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so we ended up waiting for four hours to get a table for these people that aren't even there.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: It was really hot.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was really loud.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: We had paid for two different tailgates.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: We ended up missing those.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter's a Theta too, by the way.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's so funny that we all paid there.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: We have not diversified on this episode very well.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: Did you just wait there?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Did they show up?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: No, they should be.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, eventually.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Again, none of us needed any food.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: We really were excited about these two tailgates and we didn't go.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: So to your point, Lisa, with just that go with the flow mentality, somehow, somehow, you got to find a way to get in that mindset, right?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: See, now it's reminding me of my fight that I had with Susie.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's the same thing.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: She was very proud.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know, she planned this brunch.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_02: But the only thing is Parents' Weekend, even if you have reservations, it's not happening when you think it's going to happen.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: And it was at this place called Neighborhood Jam.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: And it took us literally two and a half hours.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yes, the same thing.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: We were hungry.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, we were waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: And large parties, I don't suggest during Parents' Weekend, go do it.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Keep it as simple as possible.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think that was that and I think the planning ahead part, because we were there was always a group that was going to eat brunch or going to eat dinner.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: And and that you did have to plan ahead for that.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_03: But you're right.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: It was kind of a nightmare.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: But go ahead.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, that's okay.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: I was just saying, as far as planning ahead too, it's probably going to be now we have girls.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: You well, you have Stuart, but for the most part, girls are a little more organized.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: But there's pretty gonna be a good chance that you're gonna show it to Parents Weekend and you really don't know what's going on.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's why you join your school's Facebook page or Insta.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: You join the sorority, they'll have a mom's or mom's and dads' parents page, and that's gonna keep you in the loop a little bit more because your kids are not gonna know.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: They're not gonna want to see you that much.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: They want to be liberated after you pay for the meal on a Saturday and you pay for that bar tab, and then they don't want to see you anymore.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Bye-bye.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but when my teenager started driving, I was a nervous wreck.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: So many things that could go wrong, and God forbid they get into an accident.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, we have car insurance, but for some young drivers, the monthly insurance can be higher than the car payment.
• 19:00
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• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Wall with State Farm on Lovers Lane in Dallas.
• 19:10
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• 19:13
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• 19:15
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• 19:21
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• 19:29
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• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so did you guys have any highlights or favorite moments of your times at your parents' weekends?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't it was just always You went to Trinity, so Oh, you mean my personal parents' weekend?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's either or Oh no, but my where I went to school was it was it was small and I know that there was a parents' weekend, but I don't think my parents ever went, maybe one time.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: And then um Texas.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, I just think it was fun to go to a game and the the hubbub of it all.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: I know I was chronically disappointed year after year because it was technically fall and I would go with some game wear or whatever, and it was so you know, still a hundred degrees.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: So that was always and you're everything's outside the tailgates, right?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: Fraternity, everything.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so I was never I was always a little bit ill-prepared for that.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, I I just thought they were always they were always fun weekends.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: Again, kind of like being in college again ourselves, but needed a couple of days to catch up on rest after that.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to think about OU.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um I remember there was one time that my husband and I will okay, here's something I want to mention too.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: When you are a divorced family, and I am, I I'm married three times, and I have my kids have different dads and it different dynamics, and parents' weekends are hard on the kid because they have to divide the time and maybe try to manage the expectations of two different sets of parents.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's gonna be rough.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's tough.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: So we we learn the art of bowing out, and in fact, the first two years, we would go to the Friday, Saturday, and then we'd leave after the kickoff and we'd go ahead and go back, and then Susie could focus on her parents.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: And we all get along.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's just, it's it's different, it's challenging.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, and and if you don't get along with your I don't know how you would do it.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so hopefully you will get along and you can uh work around that.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think so many schools have parents' week and collectively, then they have mom's week and they have dad's week.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of think back in my day at OU that it was separate.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think they have a had a combined one.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: And my parents were definitely divorced and probably would not have uh interacted very well together.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that worked out just uh organically for me.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: So that was nice, but I totally see your point.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot to juggle.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: It really is.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, it's just kind of a learning lesson that I learned.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think that first year we tried to do every bit of it.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, Susie was having to work in her parents' time with her dad, her dad and her stepmom, and then you know, me and my husband's time.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: And we just decided now we're just gonna, you know, we know our exit.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: So um would Scott come with you every year?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: He did some.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I don't think he came senior year.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, when I when it got to be where I could stay in the bed with Susie, so he went freshman and sophomore, and then junior, senior, it was just me.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: And then senior year, we brought Jesse with us.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Again, probably not the best choice.
• 22:47
  unknown: Right.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you can avoid it, I think you should leave those younger kids at home.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: So let's share some tips.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: So Lisa has done an excellent job.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: She tried to recruit many different people to join us.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: We were trying to try to make this a bigger deal than it than just the three of us, but so many people either weren't available or didn't feel comfortable doing it.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: And she has gathered tips from a lot of different people, a lot of different schools.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one of the things I wanted to say is okay, there's Parents' Weekend, but let's not forget, because we need more, in the spring, there's family weekend.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: So there's another one.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, that's usually in April.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I would say for that one, yeah, you're gonna probably go freshman year and you're not probably gonna go again.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's not as important.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because I guess the, you know, parents' weekend is around football.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: So, but go ahead.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, I was just gonna so at OU, would you do the the school parents' weekend?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: Because we always did, and I don't know if you found this, but it's always it.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: I I know that there is a UT Parents Weekend.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_03: And then there's all the fraternity sorority ones.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_03: Those are the ones that we would go to.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: I never went to like a Texas parents' weekend, did you?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: No, yeah.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think OU does have an official family weekend in the spring, but the fraternities a lot of times will have their own things in the spring.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: So you are correct.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: But I was asking my friend Rachel Wallace, because I kind of wanted a boy's view of OU, and she has her son Matt, who's a Fiji, and she said, you know, just expect to go to tailgate after tailgate after tailgate after Darty.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: But she brought up something interesting that I didn't even know.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: She suggests that before you go to a parents' weekend, you check on the color theme for the day, the game that you're going to.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because apparently, depending where you're sitting, is the color you're going to wear.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I never thought about that.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: She also suggests dressing nice for the games, because a lot of people really don't know, but it is a dress-up thing.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: And wear something, to your point, lightweight because most likely when depending on when your parents' weekend is, it's going to be hot.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: And she also suggests that kids all need to bring cowboy boots when they go to school because it's like a game day staple for guns.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, yeah.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: So today, would you say that that's more of an SEC type of situation?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that may not be the case if your kid goes to school up northeast, probably.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would say so.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was an eternity thing, was it?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_03: To this day, I still don't own a pair of cowboy boots.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, and something also, uh, my friend Priscilla Overton, and actually our friend because Sylvie and I know her, she has three kids that were, what do you say?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: WPSersers?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Woo pig Suey.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: They all ended up in Arkansas.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: But she said to remind everyone that bars are really strict about age 21.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so this is not the time.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: If you got a teen like right on the cusp, don't even try it.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: So um Fayetteville, it may the same way Norman is.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: When you are going to a college and they don't have a professional football team, oh my gosh, it is an event.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, Fayetteville is just crazy.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: I can only imagine.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: So much fun.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think honestly, I think Priscilla's a bit of a partier.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: She may be married to a minister, but my goodness.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she like fun.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Her list is like a mile long.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wonderful places to go.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like she was saying that if you want to just do the regular tailgate, you got to do a tailgate on the hill.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: Watch your heels because you're going to be in the grass.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: She says the inn at Carnell Hall is the best and it's right on campus.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: And if you are smart and you can book that ahead of time, that's where you should go.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: She said, you know, bars are a blast.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's going to be mess and chaos and just roll with it.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: She mentions Ellis Table during the fall, that that is a really good restaurant.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can get in there, you sit outside.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: She says this time of year, the the weather is gorgeous in Fayetteville.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: The graduate hotel is on the square.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've stayed there before.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: You have that's pretty cool.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she's a planner.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I ended up staying, that's the bad thing.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: And it can be done as far as Norman.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: I ended up staying at like Oklahoma City, which, you know, it's what you like to drive.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: And the bad thing about that is if you're at a late event, you know, you don't want to drive back.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: And if you stayed downtown, you got to pay in and out.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, every time you drive your car out, you got to pay.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I would not recommend that.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: But there are ways around it.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: There's more in some of the other suburbs.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I bet Fayetteville's the same way.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I would just say mainly, I mean, to what you keep saying is go in with low expectations.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Don't, don't have this rigid mindset that you're going to check off everything that you think is planned because you do need to go with the flow.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be a lot happier if you are a little bit more easygoing that weekend, right?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And let your kid kind of take the lead, follow their lead and see what they want to do and how much time that they have for you.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: If they're in the dorm, spend the time with the dorm.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like I had fun.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: We got up there early, like on a Friday, freshman year, and we were able to eat in the dorm.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: My daughter lived in couch, which is I remember that.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's still there.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought that was really a neat experience.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: My son went and oh my God, he loved it.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: He loves to eat.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and get to know your kids' friends.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: Invite them.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, like I said, you got to dig deep, buckle up with the cost.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, this is the time to take the your your kids' friends out.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, to treat them.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: I think we're so fortunate that they they're excited for us to show up and to be part of their weekend.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_03: And um I think it's nice to to feel that they've spent some time or their their school or their sorority or fraternity to spend some time to like how can we make this fun for the parents?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I mean, and at no point do I did I ever feel like my child was trying to get you know, get away from me or oh, you're embarrassing me or anything like that.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they're proud and happy to have you there.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that, you know, the maybe there was one year I couldn't we couldn't go for our daughters, and I think she was disappointed.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, other parents took her under her wing, but anyway.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: Did y'all have any regrets for Parents' Weekend?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like I regret that I let 10 o'clock happen and I would go to bed and I didn't go out.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: I kind of do wish I'd gone out a little bit more now.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: Sylvia, you said that was not y'all's problem.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, we went out.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, it was like being in college again ourselves.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: Uh huh.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would say I regret not being a little bit more go with the flow and just, you know, this is one weekend.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay if if the plans don't go as planned.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then also I regret feeling a little envious of all the people that post all the happy family pictures at the tailgates I was supposed to be at.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's the curse of social media.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's not all like that.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there was a fight probably that happened right before the picture was taken.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: No one posted pictures of the sad, the sad family photo.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: Here's another regret I have.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: What's that?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: I never had a frozen margarita at this place called the Mont.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: The Mont.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if memory serves, I don't think you actually missed out on that much, but it Is like kind of an icon of Norman and you you are supposed to do it at least once.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'll go back sometime.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, ladies, this was so fun.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate you joining me today and just being able to talk about this and sharing tips.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're gonna help a lot of people out there going forward to manage their expectations.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna get really confused and they're like, never mind, we're not going.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you have any questions, just reach out to all of us and we're happy to elaborate more.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you for having me.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's been another episode of the Bubble Lounge.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Martha Jackson, and I'll see you next time.