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S2 Ep10 Planning All the Creative Things! · The Imperfect Impulse w/Bree O'Connor

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to The Imperfect Impulse with Brie O'Connor.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Brie O'Connor.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to be the last episode of our 2025 calendar year,
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: and I had some story-specific things that I wanted to get to,
• 0:23
  but I think it might be important at this juncture to talk a
• 0:28
  little bit about
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: grace.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's a hard time of year for many people,
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: or it may not be emotionally difficult,
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: but it may be a hard time to concentrate.
• 0:43
  There are so many other things that are asking for your
• 0:45
  attention in the last few
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: weeks of the calendar year.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: You have Christmas presents to buy,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: you have parties to go to,
• 0:57
  you have an assortment of charitable donations and tips and
• 1:05
  people that you are,
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: supposed to acknowledge with gratitude,
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: all kinds of obligations.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So this may not be conducive to your creative process.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And now here's the thing,
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: if you're at all like me,
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: that once you fall off your daily groove of producing something each day,
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: whether it be a small snippet of text or a particularly nice doodle,
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: When you take time off from that,
• 1:50
  I don't necessarily mean to equate parties or family
• 1:55
  obligations with illness.
• 1:57
  However,
• 1:58
  I think the mindset is similar in that when I have the flu,
• 2:02
  I can't imagine
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: that I had ever felt good in my life,
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: or that I know what it will be like when I feel good again.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: It just feels like you're stuck in this place you don't wanna be.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And though you may enjoy your parties and social engagements,
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: you may find yourself frustrated at your artistic output.
• 2:36
  Here's where we get into an element of self-awareness and a
• 2:42
  little bit of faith.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: The truth is, periods of rest are necessary.
• 2:51
  You need to practice a little bit of faith that this rest
• 2:57
  period will be fruitful.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I know, that's hard to do.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you've had a dry spell.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean,
• 3:08
  I've had years while I was parenting my children when they were
• 3:13
  young that I
• 3:16
  thought that my life was pretty much just going to be making
• 3:20
  valentines and
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Halloween costumes with my children.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to project yourself into the future.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: In any realistic way,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: oftentimes when we do project into the future,
• 3:36
  it is a desired future that feels like a fantasy or a
• 3:41
  catastrophic future.
• 3:43
  But we're generally way off the mark if we're trying to hit
• 3:47
  some sort of sense of
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: reality of what our lives are really going to be like.
• 3:53
  So I'm going to invite you to take this time of year to sit
• 4:00
  back and observe,
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: not just the world around you and,
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 4:07
  your crazy family or your solitude or whatever it is that
• 4:15
  you're experiencing at
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: this time of year.
• 4:19
  It's really important for you to take this time of year to go
• 4:23
  inside and really
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: inventory how you are perceiving and receiving the world around you.
• 4:34
  Let's face it,
• 4:35
  the festive atmosphere is not our normal mode of operations.
• 4:43
  The number of parties and events and even the simple change in
• 4:50
  programming can have
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: an impact on how you spend your time and how you feel.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And by programming,
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I do mean what radio programs are available,
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: what television shows you're watching.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: what books you're reading,
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: where you go,
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: because everyone is celebrating at this time,
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: or taking time off.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So
• 5:22
  Television is full of clip shows and specials where you look
• 5:29
  back up on the year
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: and reflect,
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: or you count down to something or other.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And those things can be fun,
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  SPEAKER_00: but after you've seen the 30th one,
• 5:42
  you might just want to bang your head through the wall and wish
• 5:46
  for something
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: that's a little less special.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know,
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: well,
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  it's not like when I was a kid and the TV shows would all go on
• 5:56
  hiatus and it's
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: nothing but reruns for the month of December.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't even have your nightly routine.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: But now with streaming,
• 6:08
  you may have hit your lull or you're waiting for the Christmas
• 6:13
  drop of Stranger
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Things,
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: whatever it is that you're doing.
• 6:21
  Your schedule has been interrupted and you need to find new
• 6:24
  ways to engage with the
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  SPEAKER_00: world and with yourself.
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  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's a creative time.
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  SPEAKER_00: But most of the time, it's not.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're spending some time alone this holiday season,
• 6:41
  you may have the impulse to be punitive and to be pushing
• 6:47
  yourself to create more
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  SPEAKER_00: because I have this time.
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  SPEAKER_00: I should be using it.
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  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with me?
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  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I create anything?
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  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I focus?
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  I'm going to ask us to take that panic down for a minute and
• 7:11
  recognize what this
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: time of the year is conducive to.
• 7:19
  The things that are within your grasp,
• 7:22
  if creativity and focus are eluding you,
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's a sweet spot in creativity where you have,
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: you feel like you have enough time,
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  SPEAKER_00: but not too much time.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Too much time can lead to paralysis.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Too little time can lead to paralysis,
• 7:45
  but just the right amount of creative time gives you some
• 7:48
  bookends and some
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  SPEAKER_00: structure that says,
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  SPEAKER_00: Hey,
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  SPEAKER_00: between the hours of two and four on Tuesday,
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  SPEAKER_00: I can accomplish
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  SPEAKER_00: Goal A, right?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're like,
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: oh,
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: from Tuesday until Saturday,
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have all the time in the world,
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: that can feel oppressive and overwhelming.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you may end up staring at the wall.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you do end up staring at the wall, that should be okay.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: It really should.
• 8:26
  Because here are the things that you can do while you're
• 8:28
  staring at the wall.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can focus on your breath.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can check in with your body.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: How is your body responding to the holiday?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you holding tension?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel any nervous energy anywhere in your body?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times this time of year,
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I get the Jimmy leg,
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: that,
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: that,
• 9:04
  that restless leg that you just gotta move it and you don't
• 9:10
  have any purpose to the
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: movement.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it just kind of, it is a, a confounding energy.
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  SPEAKER_00: So,
• 9:22
  first check in see where your body is see if you're feeding it
• 9:27
  or overfeeding it do
• 9:28
  you feel too sugary do you feel bogged down by carbs do you
• 9:36
  feel empty i mean there
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: are people who deprive themselves of sustenance at this time of year
• 9:45
  And it's a good time for you to check in with yourself and be
• 9:50
  aware of how you're
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: treating your system at this time.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: As you get older,
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: a lot of times there will be intrusive feelings,
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: resentment toward family members,
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: or feelings of loss and grief.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: There might be a reticence.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like engaging.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: None of these things should stop you from being part of festivities.
• 10:20
  But anything that is popping up in your life and is coming at
• 10:26
  you repeatedly,
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: if every day during this time of year you're feeling
• 10:33
  some angry feelings,
• 10:35
  or even some insistent joy or giddiness or whatever.
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  All of these things that bubble up and are persistent and
• 10:48
  recurring are things that
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: your body wants you to acknowledge and recognize.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is your time of year.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: to acknowledge and recognize.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are feeling any stress,
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  SPEAKER_00: grief,
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  SPEAKER_00: agitation,
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  SPEAKER_00: trying to push it to the side isn't going to be helpful.
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  SPEAKER_00: Nor will it be successful.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: If something really requires your attention,
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: it will appear again and again and again and again,
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: and it's going to get louder and more insistent.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is important for you to set time aside to complete the cycle of that,
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  SPEAKER_00: which is emotionally insistent.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling stress, then your job is
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: to sit down, acknowledge the stress?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you feel it in your body?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Where is it manifesting?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: How is it coming out in your behavior?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are these all choices that you want to make?
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  And sometimes just the act of allowing yourself to feel and
• 12:17
  catalog that experience
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: and observe it
• 12:23
  you'll be able to move through it and let it pass on it's
• 12:29
  really important to do so
• 12:31
  because once you've let the experience pass all the way through
• 12:35
  you then you get to
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: have this this experience of placing that feeling that moment
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  that bunch of issues that popped up into a place where you can
• 12:56
  actually examine and
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  SPEAKER_00: deal with it.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: It may become fodder for creation.
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  Or you may go Wow,
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  here's this thing that I've been carrying with me all year.
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  SPEAKER_00: And now I've had this moment to acknowledge and process it.
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  SPEAKER_00: And now
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  SPEAKER_00: I can figure out what I want to do about it.
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  And I can let it pass without self-awareness and
• 13:29
  acknowledgement of all of those things.
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  These issues are going to follow you into the new year and they
• 13:37
  may become blocks
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  SPEAKER_00: for you in your work.
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  SPEAKER_00: They may become blocks for you and your relationships.
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  SPEAKER_00: They may become blocks between you and just living your life.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you do happen to have that time where you are staring at the wall,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: there's still plenty of work to do to be prep yourself for creativity and
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: mindfulness that will reap its benefits in the new year.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the funny thing about whenever you go through this process of
• 14:21
  cataloging and acknowledging these physical and emotional
• 14:25
  experiences is that it's
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: strangely makes space inside your system for new things to come in.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: They may be new feelings, new observations, new appreciations, new ideas.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I can't think of a more productive way
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: to spend this time.
• 14:54
  If you're going to sit and hold on to negativity or negative
• 15:00
  self talk,
• 15:02
  I'm not doing enough.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not good enough.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't done enough this year.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: What was me?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well,
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  those things are going to persist the longer that you hold on
• 15:19
  to them and squeeze
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: them and stuff them deep inside the pit of your stomach.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: You have the opportunity now to,
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: without judgment,
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  SPEAKER_00: recognize how it's manifesting in your body and make choices about it.
• 15:44
  As an actor,
• 15:45
  we were always taught that body awareness is the key to making
• 15:52
  choices.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because whenever you are constructing a character,
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: constructing a physical performance,
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: it is of the utmost importance to make sure that you have choices,
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: not habits.
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  SPEAKER_00: habits are unconscious.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: They are operating in the background.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: And
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can,
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: a lot of people work their way around them,
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: but without acknowledging them,
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  they're going to cause you to make certain choices over and
• 16:32
  over and over and over
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: again.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And those choices, they're not really choices at that point.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's, that is the habit.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: The habit is, um, whenever I see Auntie Sue, I
• 16:48
  can't deal with her backhanded comments so I run the other way
• 16:56
  and I go into the
• 16:59
  living room in a corner and I grab a beer and I hide from her
• 17:04
  so I don't have to
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: deal with her Auntie Sue's not going anywhere and
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to go ahead and filter through and be able to say,
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: no,
• 17:20
  instead of hiding from her and drinking myself to oblivion to
• 17:24
  avoid whatever
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: commentary she's going to make,
• 17:28
  what would it be like if I could stand and not take what she is
• 17:37
  saying as a truth
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: that I need to deal with?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: What if I can choose to hear what she has to say,
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: decide for myself that she is wrong,
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: and either tell her or just put it down?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Your choice for how to deal with Aunt Susie is
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: now part of your personal freedom.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: You are free to make a different choice.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's not just suck it up and feel terrible later.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's not just I'm going to get drunk and start a fight with her.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's not just I'm going to to allow what she has to say to
• 18:25
  dictate how I feel about myself and my work and my worth for
• 18:29
  the rest of not just
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: this year,
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: but succeeding years.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, you have a choice when you have awareness.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: She gets my blood pressure up.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do about that?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can breathe.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can take a drink of water.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can count to 10.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to put
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: her ideas on my back.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to own them as my own.
• 19:06
  I don't need to spend my creative time during this year feeling
• 19:13
  bad that I sat down
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: and I took a breath for maybe the first time in months.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: you can give that to yourself.
• 19:27
  Make sure that how you are handling this time of year is
• 19:32
  choice,
• 19:33
  not habit.
• 19:38
  And if you can do that in your personal life,
• 19:42
  you can also do that in your creative life.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: You won't be hemmed in by expectation,
• 19:52
  you'll be able to branch out and explore all kinds of options
• 19:58
  for your process.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean,
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: who knows,
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: you might be able to free yourself to be a little bit less conventional,
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: to find the stranger choice and to vary your work.
• 20:15
  I hope that you take this time in the next few weeks to offer
• 20:21
  yourself grace and
• 20:26
  and the gift of self-awareness,
• 20:28
  and the glory of setting yourself free from habit.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: That is it for 2025.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this was helpful for you,
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: and I look forward to speaking to you again in early January of 2026.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, thank you for joining me on The Imperfect Impulse.