Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / It's Tuesday and It's Spooky!

Transcript

It's Tuesday and It's Spooky! · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Wake your ass up, fool. John Jay and Richie. What's crackin' like?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: And this is the big boss dog, Snoopy.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Deagle Double Jizzle.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Bang, boom, what you gonna do?
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: John Jay and Rich.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: We're not talking about Ren 1010. We're not talking about Lassie.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It's the one and only dog, y'all.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: The classy, sassy, big Snoopy Deagle Double Jizzle. In your
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: face to me and in the place to be. And
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: you're listening to John Jay and Rich. Wake your ass up.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: It's John Jay and Rich. Our phone number is 877-937-1047.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Call us anytime. Also, text us.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Text JJR, whatever's on your mind, to 96893.
• 0:35
  Speaker 5: It's National Black Cat Day. Perfect for Halloween week, right?
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: Celebrating black cats' superstition and their connection to witches and
• 0:44
  Speaker 5: bad luck. It is also National American Beer Day for
• 0:48
  Speaker 5: producer Nick. American Beer Day, Nick. Celebrate accordingly.
• 0:52
  Speaker 6: We will be shotgunning.
• 0:53
  Speaker 5: I don't know if this affects anybody in this room.
• 0:55
  Speaker 5: It's National Cranky Coworker Day. We all know that one person...
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: who's already in a bad mood before they've ever had
• 1:03
  Speaker 5: their first cup of coffee.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Nobody in here, certainly.
• 1:06
  Speaker 6: No.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: So this has been a theme now for the last
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: few days on the show about describing your job with
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: as little words as possible but making it sound creepy
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: and or mysterious.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Claudia, go ahead. What's your job?
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: Good morning, guys.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Good morning.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: I know where you live.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: I know where you work.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: I know how much money you make. I know where
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: you ate dinner last Friday night. I know about your
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: little Target shopping spree you thought nobody noticed. I know
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: how many pairs of shoes you bought. I know what
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: kind of car you drive. The mysterious $ 400 Venmo transactions,
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: your side hustle. And yes, I absolutely know about the
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: little money that Graham has been supplementing you for the
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: last six months.
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, you work for the bank or like Venmo?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: You're my wife.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: You're a tax person.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Nope.
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: So you don't work for the bank?
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know who you are. You're an assistant.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: I am a mortgage broker.
• 2:05
  Speaker 7: Oh, okay.
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: Because you've got to know all the details. I need
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: your last three months bank statements.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: All the things.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's a good one, Claudia. Really good. That's a
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: good one.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: I know all your stuff. It's pretty amazing what I
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: know about you by the time we're done.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: How long have you been doing this job?
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: 21 years.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Is there anything totally wild or crazy that you've ever
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: experienced that you found out about somebody?
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Everything from gambling to porn addiction, secret, like sugar daddy
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: side hustle. Like why do you get a thousand dollar
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: deposit into your bank account and the bank account your
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: husband didn't know about? Um, uh, yeah, tons.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: I mean, but if it gets to the house, I guess,
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: you know, whatever. Yeah.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: I mean, as long as I, well, as long as
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: the sugar daddy is willing to give up his bank
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: statements to show that he gave it to you and
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: you want a good letter of explanation, go for it. Yeah.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: I mean, I've seen it all. There's no, We've lost
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: deals because one guy thought that it would be great
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: to propose to his girlfriend when he carried her over
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: the threshold of their new house. So he bought her
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: an $ 80, 000 engagement ring. Turns out that the income ratio
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: doesn't work anymore. So there's no house. Wow.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Hey, how do you find out if someone's got a
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: porn addiction by being a mortgage broker?
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Their bank statements.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: You mean because they're doing what? They're buying Pornhub?
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: They're paying for various, well, most of them aren't doing
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: it for free or they're paying for some kind of
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: a thing. I think most people with addiction don't stick
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: to Pornhub, so they usually have a whole lot of
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: weird withdrawals. And it says right on it normally what
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: it is.
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: That's wild. The mortgage people ask for everything, right? I mean,
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: the letters, the letters of explanation are crazy. I remember
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: when I went to go buy a house, they said,
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: did you own a house at this address?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I said, no.
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: And they're like, can you write a letter explaining how
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: you never owned a house at that address? That's my favorite. Negatives.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: Can you prove a negative? Can you prove that you
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: never did this? No, probably not.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I probably can't.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Are you ever like, can you prove that you didn't
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: download Itty Bitty Gangbang?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: We're stuck on that one. Yeah, that's the part that
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: pulls me.
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: It's a lot because when you have repetitive withdrawals, we've
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: got to figure out whether or not it's a debt
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: on your credit that you're responsible for. So that's where
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: that question comes into play. So when you're constantly paying...
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: To one specific place, we have to ask questions. Yeah,
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: the letter of explanations are insane. I still have one
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: from like 15 years ago in my office that basically
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: is like, why do you want to buy another house
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: and move from the one you're at? And the guy
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: was like, well, one, my wife hates the current house.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: So happy wife, happy life. Two, it's closer to some
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: of our kids. It's further away from others. Um, like
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: it's just the funniest one that I've ever seen. I
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: was like, well, there you go.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you, Claudia, for listening. Thank you so much
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: for sharing.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: That with us.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: Absolutely. You guys love you guys.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Jasmine, Jasmine, good morning.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Describe your job in as little words as possible, but
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: be a little spooky and mysterious.
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: So you can see me, you can hear me and
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: I'm always around.
• 5:15
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Are you a neighbor?
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: You can hear me.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: No.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Are you Alexa?
• 5:26
  Speaker 7: I am.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: No.
• 5:29
  Speaker 7: If you want to guess one more time, you guys
• 5:31
  Speaker 7: can guess.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: You can see me, you can hear me, and I'm
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: always around. You're my wife.
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: No, I work at a water bottling plant company and
• 5:41
  Speaker 7: it's always loud. You always have to look every 30
• 5:44
  Speaker 7: minutes for the water bottles. And, you know, like everybody's
• 5:48
  Speaker 7: always around.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: There's always somebody watching you.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: We would have probably never gotten that.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Which water company do you work for?
• 5:56
  Speaker 7: I work at the water bottle company in Weed, California
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: called Crystal Geyser.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: Crystal Geyser all the time.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Can we get a bunch of free cases, Jasmine? Free cases?
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 6:09
  Speaker 7: I mean, maybe I can send you one free case
• 6:11
  Speaker 7: if you guys want to give me the Addy, but.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Come on, Ellie, like $ 1. 28 a bottle. You can't send
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: us a case?
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: I thought you were out on the plastic anyway.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Not yet. I'm working on it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: Oh, you're okay.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Cold plants, that's okay. I don't know. Actually, that's what
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: the lady said, right? Yeah, just hot, right?
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: All right, Jasmine, hold on. Dylan, give her our Addie.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: We have another spooky job. We have a lot of
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: interesting people who have careers that listen to our show
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: that are just interesting.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Nora, good morning.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I get full of red stuff in my hands daily,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: sometimes different colors, and I get it on me and
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: sometimes on people's clothes. And The cart.
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: Are you an art teacher?
• 6:58
  Speaker 6: I was going to say, like, you work at a
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: paint institute?
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I work at a paint department in Home Depot.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I thought you were a murderer. I didn't get to
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: guess first. Different colors.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Paint department in Home Depot. What's the number one paint
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: color right now, Nora?
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: The number one paint color for bear. It's a bear product.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Trending right now. And it's called Blue Moon Bay.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that sounds pretty good. Well, Nora, thank you for listening.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Okay. Thank you so much.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Bye. Have a great time. Have a great day. Have
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: a great time at work.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I guess we can sprinkle this in all morning long.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: You know, share with us your job, your job description,
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: but make it scary and spooky and use as little
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: words as possible.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: And we'll guess 877-937-1047.