Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #117: The F*ck Buddy (SATC S2 Ep. 14)

Transcript

Happy Hour #117: The F*ck Buddy (SATC S2 Ep. 14) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I never told you a production Yheart Radio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, and welcome to another edition of Watching Sex and
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: the City. Getting Annie's reaction and enjoying our time together
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: in this happy hour. Yay, that's more a descriptive than
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: a title. That's how I do. If you are joining
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: us for the happy hour, please do so responsibly whatever
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: you are doing, whether it's driving, whether it's taking care
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: of your kids, whether it's just sitting.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: To being on something respony.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I feel like I actually should do that more because
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I during the pandemic, I have not been sitting responsibly.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: You know, I've watched myself It's like I'm hunched over.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, this is not uncomfortable. But all of those things,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: and if we're talking about any products, as of this point,
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: we are probably not sponsored by that product, but who knows.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Things can change. Hopefully things will change. We'll get more
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: good sponsors with good products, am I right? Yeah?
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: Anyway, so today.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: We are doing our watch party, but we are actually
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: separate this time around peak behind the curtains. We are
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: sitting in our own respective private offices, I guess, private
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: studios and I gotta do webcam and then it's is
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: very detailed. I cannot stop looking at myself right Irving.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: We actually both got this is kind of funny to
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: me that you're just now using it because we got
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: it in the same time, and I it was a
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: real learning curve for me because it went from like, oh,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I don't really like what I'm seeing, but it's all right,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: to whoa, look at the same.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Why why is all of this happening? And I'm not
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: a floating head anymore. You could actually see what's behind me.
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: This is on.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, anyway, I'm very distracted as we're trying to record this,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: so excuse me in advance.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: That's so too much email.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right, eighty we're coming back. We are on
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: episode fourteen of season two, slowly walking our.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Way through all the Sex and the Cities.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: We may have retired before the end of this episode.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: It's taking us on and me like living together and
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, finally episode ninety.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Four, it's gonna be the commune that we've been dreaming of. Well,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: just retire, but we're still watching Sex.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And the City and having like commentary though no one
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: is listening.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: Podcasts no longer exists. We're still going for it though.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I'm you know this about me excited to know.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: That even if I were to be dead tomorrow, you'll
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: still keep going.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely, thank you.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: He's a traditional lie, Annie, I will.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Speaking of traditions, we need a replay or tell us
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: a review of what has been happening in the world
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: of sex and the City.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, I feel like the big thing that has happened
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: is that.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Carrie had.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: A quote like revelation that she's dating men who are
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: not good for her. In this case, mister Big who
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: was like moved to Paris and wasn't willing to commit,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: and she really wanted to commit, and she went to
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: a therapist for like a half second and met bon Jovi.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I guess yes, John bon Jovi specifically, Oh excuse me,
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Christina cut it.
• 3:53
  Speaker 6: But I didn't know who that was. I was like, well,
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: I know forever You're like, who's that. I'm like, oh my,
• 4:04
  Speaker 6: I recognize the day. I just I didn't recognize him.
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: But anyway, so we got that going on.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: We had an episode we discussed recently in a Mondane
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: and any that you experience embarrassment very vividly we had
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: that scene with Miranda where she was sort of flirting
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: with the guy she thought was flirting with her crossed
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: the way at the apartments and that was not the case.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: We have Samantha continuing to like she was at a
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: BDSM club, just sort of getting into all of these
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: situations with people, and then Charlotte trying to find the
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: one and continually dating people that I'm like, wow, that
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: was way off, but you know, I get it.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I've been there. So that's about it.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Theres are getting better and better. I feel like I
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: like them.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, So we have our next episode and the title
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: is The Buddy. Yeah, oh yeah, okay, or the Sex
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Buddy for trying to edit out if we're trying to
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: be PG thirteen the sex Buddy rather than buddy, but
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: the title is the Buddy. Can you give me a
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: guess as to what this episode is about.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I feel like I had my revelation of my own
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: in the last one, which is at the time I
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: was going for like deep metaphor and then it's way
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: more spot on, and then you give me a title
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: like this, So I'm gonna say it.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Is a situation with a buddy.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: In this case, being someone you.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: Have sex with occasionally, which I feel like happened in
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: one of the earlier episodes already.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: But yeah, someone you have sex with that are not dating,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: and then maybe somebody you like talk to about sacks.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: But if what's the most straightforward, buddy?
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: So I'm assuming you've never had one I had.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: I've been asked to be one. I have never been one.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Like they officially asked for that. That is interesting.
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Really, I will say the one that I had was
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: just the dude that I would meet up with in
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: between relationships if everything, like if I had a relationship
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: or a thing fell apart and I just needed someone
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: to lay on me, just to lay on me. He
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: was the dude and we would I would go over late.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: He was never allowed in my place. I would go
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: over to his place late at night and leave early morning.
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: End the story. And we never dated. There was some
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: crossing of the lines.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: And we'll talk a little bit more, but like it
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: rarely got there, and it never really got there.
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: And then he got engaged and things were over and I.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Was like, yeah, okaybye's I've had one.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: But he was around for like five six years.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Oh wow. But then once he got on relationship.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, we were always appropriate. We never got together when
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: each other we were into a thing. It was literally
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: in between for both of us. I was you know,
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: my friends really hated him, all right. We never listened
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: to this episode because we have mutual friends. Oh no,
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: of all episodes, if he listened to this, like, y'all,
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: what is happening?
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Okay, let's get into this because I'm embarrassing myself. Really. Well, here,
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: I ran.
• 7:57
  Speaker 7: Into my friend's skipper on the street the other day.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: Do you remember, Skip?
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: He was most in frantic he'd just broken up with
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: another girl.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Well, we haven't seen him in a minute.
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: He's an a but he's back, he's been for a second.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: What did she say? She thought was wrong?
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: Skipper?
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: You're a very sweet guy, and this isn't about anything
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: you did.
• 8:15
  Speaker 7: It's just that we are in very different places right now.
• 8:18
  Speaker 7: We want different things from life.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Classic.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: Have you ever had to do a breakup like this?
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Actually no, I'm kind of a coward, to be honest.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: I don't think I have either.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: I always wait for them to break up with me.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I had the one breakup in high school where I
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: went on one date with him and didn't really think
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I had to do a breakup, but I had to,
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: in which I said you deserve more than me.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: I had to say that, and.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: He was like, no, I don't want anyone else but you.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: High school, y'all high school? Oh wow oh.
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: Later that night, on a data Crosstown, Miranda was repeating
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: a pattern of her own. She had been dating a
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: lawyer she met when they got into a big fight
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: in court. A frequent guest on MSNBC, Kevin was not
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: just argumentative, he was an anger professional.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: I think I got to revise my opinion that you
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: got to be an idiot to want to go out
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: to a movie these days. I mean, it was worse
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: than nineteen bucks plus ten dollars in snacks and.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Water just to hear that bus driver behind.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: To be fair, he's not wrong about that movie experience.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Not that I'm the angry person, but I'm just saying, sure, you've.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: Got a very obvious pattern.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: You know, I do would tell me you wait for
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: a perfect guy to ask you on a perfect day.
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: And when he does, you project this huge fantasy on him.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Which, by the way, I feel like that's what Carrie
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: did too. It's a big. She put expectations onto him
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: and it that's true.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's definitely like Charlotte's whole thing is kind
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: of the Disney fairy tale.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Prince Carrie did it too.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, none of us can afford to fall into this
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: one man at a time past. Sam is all about
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: not one minute a time, and I can't say she
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: being in my forties in a relationship. Finally, I feel
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: like I missed a lot of opportunities, partially because I
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: am too loyal and dependable to be like floating about.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: But the dating around may have been the better way
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: to go, at least to know what I like. I
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: love where I am, but as a younger person, where
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I'm missing so many opportunities.
• 10:39
  Speaker 7: The same person over and over again.
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: Well, I guess I have dated quite a few artists,
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: but I don't think they were all the same person.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, do you have a type any Yes? Is it
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: all Luke Skywalker kind talk about projecting and impossible standards?
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of comical, how much of it.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: It's embarrassing you never met this one, y'all. If this
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: cross is over, you're gonna get people who challenge you
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: because you've already had that challenge to begin with, so
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: now it's going to be even more so I have.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: That's an interesting flip side, though, of Flank projecting too
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: much onto someone and then them.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Being like, no, it's not too much. I am the
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: one that.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Can encompass this and you can't because and it's not
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: not realistic.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Inevitably, they will disappoint and then be angry that they've disappointed, Yes.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Because they feel like they've done everything to do it,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like, it's not I never asked you to,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: for one, but also it's just not possible.
• 11:55
  Speaker 7: Why had I been keeping him on the bench all
• 11:57
  Speaker 7: these years?
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: Did I really believe a relationship had to be difficult
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: in order to work?
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Is she going to try to step up?
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: Do you enough?
• 12:05
  Speaker 7: Dinner? Friday night dinner?
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: So, as I said, the little buddy and I my
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: little buddy, we would have different times. I think that
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: we tried to make it more and it just inevitably
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: went wrong, and but our timing was way off and
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: so it never happened, and it was a good thing. Again,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: as I said, my friends did not like him, did
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: not like him.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, because of the funny part or just in general.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: No, because they didn't actually know he was buddy. Only
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: a couple of people knew.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: They just knew him, and because we kind of like
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: he was far enough away from my social circle, but
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: we would still interact so we would still know going on,
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: and the people closest to me knew of him and
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: hung out with him every now and again when we
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: were all together. Was not a fan of him. I
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: thought he was really obnoxious. I really hope he doesn't
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: hear this episode. It's gonna be really sad.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: My situation was a It was a friend who I
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: had wanted to date and he knew I had wanted
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: to date, and he came back with what if we
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: were buddies? And I was like, yo, that kind of
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, I get like, I think you can have
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: a healthy situation, but for me, that felt very like
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I don't want to date you.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's a backhanded if it's really like I like you,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: but he's putting you on the sidelines.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: Mmmmm, keeping you on the in the back.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: When he knew what I wanted knew that's cold.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
• 13:44
  Speaker 7: I like most first dates. We were off to an
• 13:48
  Speaker 7: awkward start.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Already awkward, oh my somewhat racist music to signify sushi.
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: The yellowtail sashimi, two pieces of I'm gonna sushi.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: I know, I'm already pretty starting.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, this show really puts the cravings in
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: my life between Chinese food, sushi yet and brun Yes, Annie,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: you want a really fancy sushi experience.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I did, And funnily enough, I told my mom about it,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: and it's just so outside of her experience. She was
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: like shocked because it was very expensive. Everyone very very expensive,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: and she saw it in a magazine and she like
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: texted me about it, was like, is this is what
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: you did.
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: Isn't it?
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I was like yes, Like yeah, it is like Atlanta's
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: top everything. I know, it's on cuisine magazines, It's and
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: like Forbes because it's so prestigious and snobby likely really honest.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's like it was delicious.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I don't regret it, but it is like I just
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: had seen the menu and I was like, this is
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: kind of the thing.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: So if I'm lucky, I might get a whole hour
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: next time.
• 15:06
  Speaker 7: I don't think so.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: But if you're currently an MCI customer and you switch,
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: then you get two hours for free.
• 15:12
  Speaker 7: I was kidding.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: Oh hey, gotcha.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: Coming back to them trying to be in a relationship.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: He has no sense of humor and really loves his job,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: which is to give away collect calls calling call.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, he just made a sock of too me
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: drink duke. Get out of there, Get out of there now.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: He also doesn't like sushi.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: He says, it doesn't like any raw I don't trust that.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: That is one of my most shameful breakups I've ever
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: had was over food, where it's like you won't eat that,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: we're done.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: I mean, I mean.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I think I would have a hard time
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: right now as I'm like going through my cultural experiences
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: and trying to be a part of Korean culture. If
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: he was not into Korean food, he'd he'd be gone right, yeah,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: you gotta go.
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: Meanwhile, Samantha was actually beginning to look forward to the
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: company of her new neighbors every night like clockwork, right
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: after the end of the eleven o'clock News.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Previously, Sam has been listening to the dudes to their
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: neighbors having sex.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: Awkward, but Sam's just gonna get into it.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Yes, getting down with the neighbors, very
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: loud neighbors. Have you ever been caught by a neighbor
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: you have right when you're like three hour playing.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Three hours? It was an hour thirty minutes. Thank you.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: I'm sure somebody heard it. I'm sure somebody did.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: I was told by a neighbor that I got caught.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Oh really, I was, yes, because we were talking about
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: something and it was related. They weren't trying to shave me.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: But I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: But then I had to be like, yeah, I've also
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: heard you. That's the problem with tart about like yes,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: but like have a good apartment.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: Inevitably, yes, you hear the things.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, Kevin, this is Carrie.
• 17:26
  Speaker 7: Thanksmantha and Charlotte.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: This is Kevin.
• 17:28
  Speaker 7: That's nice to meet you. I have to have to
• 17:29
  Speaker 7: go make a quick phone call.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Be right back.
• 17:31
  Speaker 7: Waitress, draft beer here.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: He's cute in a tightly wound sort of way.
• 17:38
  Speaker 7: He's finding out on Tuesday whether he made a partner.
• 17:41
  Speaker 7: I'm keeping my fingers crossed the hill on wine.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Some also this nerving.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I would have my one like
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: my boyfriend with all of my friends, like just him
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: and like my girlfriends that seem kind.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Of feeling this is. I've had this a lot where
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I'm very much like that. I'm like, I wouldn't do
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: this to you, but I think other people are like, no,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I'm going to introduce the guy.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Don't see it that way, and it kind of has
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: caused some tension.
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I guess.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, I've introduced my boyfriend, but it's after a
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: long while and this group thing, and it's not like
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: me and just like girlfriends. It's like my guy friends,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: all of us just hanging out, but not that.
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: It seemed like he came in like all guns blazing,
• 18:27
  Speaker 6: like angry and loud.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Angry and loud. She's cleaning off his glass, like.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: My throat is so sore.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: I've just been fighting this cold all week. Oh I'm
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: so sorry.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Really, I'm so suspicious. I never do stuff like that.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I'm worried i'd actually get sick.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: That's true.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: I have canceled dates, but I'm not in the middle
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: of dates.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: I'm not good at getting out of dates.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: I've told you this when like I was with the
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: really awkward date and the dude was like, I'm gonna
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: order another bed I'm like, I'm done.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: I guess I'm gonna sit here and look at you.
• 19:11
  Speaker 8: Yeah, Charlotte, Oh Eric, what are you?
• 19:21
  Speaker 7: What are you doing here?
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: I was just leaving you some chicken soup for your throat.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: I see you've healed.
• 19:29
  Speaker 7: Who is this guy? I'm the guy she had dinner
• 19:32
  Speaker 7: with before.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: You you double books.
• 19:35
  Speaker 7: Hey, Hey, don't feel bad, Bud.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: At least you got the late shift.
• 19:38
  Speaker 7: I mean you got to take her upstairs.
• 19:39
  Speaker 8: I don't think so.
• 19:42
  Speaker 7: Enjoy the soup.
• 19:44
  Speaker 8: Hey, you going to.
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: Town west side?
• 19:48
  Speaker 8: I want to share a cap.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: Sure they're best friends now.
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: From that moment on, Charlotte developed a new pattern. She
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: made it a rule never to take advice from her
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: friends again.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: But why would she doubles have to be careful book?
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: Why would you do it on the same day, That's
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: that's nonsense. No, And also, just be up front. I'm
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: dating around.
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: We're not committed exclusive.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I'm Sam's got an invite by the neighbors to join.
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: The musician and the dancer turned out to be a
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: middle aged Eastern European couple.
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: He played in a poka band. She was a dancer
• 20:31
  Speaker 7: once upon a time.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: Sam Sanda's all lambed up.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to get some.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Sleep, and now she's walking away.
• 20:44
  Speaker 7: Samantha broke a pattern after all.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, I really need to know do women wear this
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: type of lingerie with the clipped tight sky highs that
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: looks I've seen he was. This sounds real ridiculous because
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I've seen them for exists, but there's like
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: practicality of it. It's like, do people actually wear this
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: or is this the beginning of a costume for porn?
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: Because I'm feeling.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I own in real life. Actually own't wear
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: that in real life.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, let us no listeners.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I own some of it, but I've
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: never like worn it outside of like I want to
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: feel sexy one.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Day, but not for anyone else.
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: Right, isn't this the most amazing block? All these brownstones
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: are over one hundred years old? You know, it's like
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: being in the New York of.
• 21:43
  Speaker 7: Edith Wharton and Henry James.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to.
• 21:49
  Speaker 7: Live right here. What the Tit's look really great in
• 21:58
  Speaker 7: that thing. At that moment, I knew we only had
• 22:01
  Speaker 7: two things in common. Listen, I did invite you in,
• 22:04
  Speaker 7: but oh no, that's okay. I gotta get up really
• 22:07
  Speaker 7: early tomorrow.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: So well that's that. I guess.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: That's when you figured out you have nothing in common.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: M good. I I knew it was the last time
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: we'd ever see each other.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: Oh no, this is what happens when you try to
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: make it.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you get to actually know him, and then
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: you're like, I don't like that the.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: End of the buddy. Okay, so you got the.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Buddy part right, I mean, you didn't guess anything else.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: But okay, I'm learning. I am learning.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: I'll give you a bee. I'll give you a bee
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: for all of this. Yeah. Sure, sure, there's so many
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: things to this.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: But now that I've shared so much of my personal life,
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: way too much of my personal and by the way,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: it's been years. Obviously, I've been in my relationship for
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: like five six years. Time doesn't exist. But yeah, it's
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: been a minute since this whole origin. But I think
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: it's kind of funny because we were having this conversation
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: knowing that this episode is coming. I was talking about
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: buddies and then about boys and the turn of phrase
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: that have happened as of recent and I'm sure people
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: can't complain. I'm just talking about the term. I'm not
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: saying good or bad about any of these things, and
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: it's just a thing. But I do think it's funny
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: in seeing like the pattern, the breakup pattern versus your
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: dating pattern versus your attraction pattern, and what that all
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: looks like, and they kind of cover it pretty well.
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okol way obviously.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think that's it is true. I mean,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: it's something I've observed in my friends, it's something I've
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: observed in myself. And I I've never really broken up
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: with somebody, or if I have, it was like a
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: mutual breakup. But that's my pattern is I sort of fall.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I stumble into dating someone and then I can't stumble
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: out of it.
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: Unless unless I accidentally tweet it, which I feel really
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: bad about.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: I feel so much guilt about that.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: I don't know what Twitter works, things like wait, what
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: if you did? What? Wow?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Like it's embarrassing enough when you accidentally like a picture
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: that's from ten years ago, but to actually tweet out
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I'm about to break up with my boyfriend.
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: Ow.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: And I think it was two days before I realized
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: it and then I took it down for anyone listening.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Just by the way, if you respond, if you get
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: a message from Twitter, that's like you have a message
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: and you respond to it, it tweets it.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: It is not a direct message, yes, and then just
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: tweeting at you.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, it does still funny.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the funny thing is he never mentioned it,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: but I'm sure he saw it and we did break up.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: You broke up soon after, oh yeah, oh, which is
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: when you and I were first hanging out and all
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: that went down. Yeah, I still find it very funny.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh gosh, no, No, I mean I do feel
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: bad about it, because that's one of those things where
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: you can I can see both sides of it, where
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: one like, there are a couple of reasons, some of
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: them internal and some of them external. Actually that I couldn't.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I felt like I couldn't in that relationship at that time,
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: but I could have, and I knew it was coming
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: and I was sort of waiting for him to do it,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: which is not great, But I had my reasons. I
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: guess what I'm saying is like there was a bunch
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: going on, but it is a pattern and a half.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: It's a pattern that half.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't have many breakup experiences. It's just
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: because I've not been in a long term. This is
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: my first long term relationship. The few that I had,
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Like I said, the one dude broke up with me
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: over an emoji, Yeah, I feel about that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: Social media has ruined it all.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I just want you to know that technology has ruined
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: it all, has made it well, that has made it
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: good and bad, like it's just one extreme or the other.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: But the ends the message I think it was Google
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: chat actually, and the sad face when I'm like, just
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: you just need to tell me.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: What you want.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: If you don't want to be with me anymore, then
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: let me know, and his response was sad emoji.
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: That's oh my god.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Again, to be fair, I may have rushed this because
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: I knew what the sad emoji was, so I was
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: like what, and we didn't talk anymore.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: I think I responded was I don't.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Know what this means, and I think he responded with
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: something I don't even know if he responded to that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: I ended up seeing him at a show because of
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: course you know how that goes, and I ran out
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: because I saw him.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: And I was like I can't be here, and that
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: was the end.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I never heard from again, except for when he had
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: a new girlfriend who ended up being mutual friends with
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: someone and I ran into him at my best friend's
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: place and I was like, what the are you doing here?
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: So that was fun anyway, so many things in this level,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: but that's also my He was a whole story because
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: he was like my love bombing addict soon after a
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: really bad relationship with an Asian woman.
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: I should have known, Yeah, I should have known.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: I mean eighty way.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Still sad emoji, which then a friend of a former
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: friend of mine decided to use in his song Emo song,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: and I was like, why did you do this to me?
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: And he didn't tell me.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Instead he made me listen to the song and when
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: I realized what the song was about, and I turned
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: to look at him, like what the is this?
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: I have good friends, y'all.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: But yeah, Like there's a whole pattern to things. I
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: find it interesting. You have a pattern of accidentally dating.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: I have a.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: Pattern and running away and just ghosting. I ghost I ghosted.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Many a dudes. Mm hmmm, I don't mean too. I'm
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: also bad at confrontation, surprisingly.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I mean that's part of the reason
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: why I feel like why I've never.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: Really had a break up, but I've had.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: Like, like I said, things, fights that kind of were
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: mutually broken up, but I feel like I can't initiate
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: it because of the confrontation thing, which I do think
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: dates back to trauma, but also oh yeah, just conditioning
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: as well. But I ghosted a lot of people in
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: terms because I knew that was a problem for me,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: that I wouldn't feel comfortable breaking up or leaving, so
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I did ghost.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: That's actually surprising, yeah, But mostly it was like.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: It was sort of like a early date, like we
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: hadn't really maybe it was like a first or second
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: quote date.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: And I realized that.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: That's just like thing, you don't really owe anybody. We've
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: got into a whole thing. You should talk about this later,
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: but you don't really owe anybody anything for a couple
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: of dates, and especially for women who have to be
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: the ones to be like, I don't like this, and
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: then if the dude really fills the opposite and starts
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: harassing you, that's a whole different conversation. To be fair,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: men go through this too, I'm sure, but it's a
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: volatile level that women have to deal with that a
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: lot of men don't.
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: But I feel like there's.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: A point in which you're like, Okay, look, I don't
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: really owe an explanation other than I don't I'm not
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: feeling this, and sure it'd be nice and mature, but
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like it's completely wrong, especially in the
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: world of online dating.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: And I mean it's one of those things where it's
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: like kind of an unfortunate symptom of our culture around dating.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: Because if I felt like I could just tell a guy, hey,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: not feeling it and he would accept that, or I
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: would feel safe doing that, then I probably would because
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: I would want that on my end.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: Although sometimes I've.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Been ghosted, I'm actually kind of like, okay, yeah, that's fair.
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: Trying to think have I been ghosted? Yes, I have
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: been ghosted.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I just assumed they found someone better, like it just
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: it didn't hurt my feelings. But then when I see
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: them again, I'm like.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, oh, hi, run that's kind of that's what it
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: was like for me.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Like it wasn't fun necessarily, but I kind of was like, Okay,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: they're not into it, right, I got it, right, But
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: because that I for reasons that are for just personal
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: but also cultural. I don't feel like I can do
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: that sometimes, so then that's where the ghosting comes in.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: Right, that's the whole level of safety.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: But obviously, and I don't think Sex and the City
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: ever talks about online dating is the I can't remember
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: in the first season of and just like that if
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: they talk about it yet.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: They briefly mentioned it, but not in depth at all.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, because the only single one technically was Sam and
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Samantha's gone, so and Neil Carrie, who's a widow but
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: she just immediately made out with her producer, don't do
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: that advice, But yeah, I think there's a lot. This
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: was definitely one of those roundabouts. Do you who are
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: you attracted to? We know your type is apparently Luke Skywalker.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: I do. I do nerdy boys.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Typically artistical boys like and I will never date a
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: musician again.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: I will never date, yes, never again. Thought about that
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: with like comedians too.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I would not want to date a comedian
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: because like they would take your life as a joke.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: I guess dating us would be bad is bad to
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: since we're podcasters and we're quite open about our lives.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: I've thought about that, believe.
• 32:47
  Speaker 6: That.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, we're talking about before right now.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: You know, as we're trying to hide and hope that
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: the people of our past don't listen to this.
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry until your name. I feel like we're pretty
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: kind is unless you piss us off. But yes, so
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: there you go.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: We have the Buddy, in which we find no new romances,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: but habits.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: That will be.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Corying along, right, And I think those habits can they
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: shine a light on stuff about you as well as
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: to why you do that? But yes, I hope in
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: the next one, I'll get even better with my title
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: guessing situation.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Shouldn't make you do more than one sentence though the whole.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Like I guess it's Buddy. That's gonna work anymore? Any No,
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: don't put rules, I'll never win.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Well, Okay, So we are slowly chipping away towards our
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: listener participation episode. It's coming and we are very, very
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: excited to do it, and we've given the details in
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: the past one. I think like this might be your
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: last chance to enter because we're getting It's not that
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: we're getting good, so we're going to have to We're
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: gonna have to like plan things and do things. So
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: we're we are getting closed, but there's still like, I
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: don't know, ten episodes, which is wild.
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: It's never ending.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I forgot that TV seasons used to be like
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: twenty six episodes. Yeah, but yeah, we are gonna We're
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: getting there. But this is your fine. I would say,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: this is your last call to enter for this time.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: We're going to do it more than once, but for
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: this season if you want to participate in the meantime,
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: Thanks as always to superducer Christina, who makes these happen amazing.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: You can contact us if you would like.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: You can email us at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok stuff I've
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: Never Told You. We're also on YouTube.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: We have a book.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: You can pre order it u is at stuff you
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: should read books dot com. Again, thanks as always to
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: contributor Joey.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: Thank you, yes, and thanks to you for listening. Steff
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: I Never told you spection of iHeartRadio.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: out the Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.