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When Do Black Men Become MEN?? Feat Norense Odiase · So Shameless

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I said, he's gonna wait till seven. I'm not. I
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: got to go six forty. I'm out of here. You
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: know what I mean?
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Please, Yo, yo yo yo yo. Oh yeah yo, listen.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: I got the Corduroyd summer shirt on. I don't want
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: to hear no backlash from nobody. It's a fire. It
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: feels like fire.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: It's hot.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: What's good job? How y'all feeling today?
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Feling good? Feeling good? My brother feeling good? How you? Oh?
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I must say, I'm glad that it's a bunch of
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: guys in the room today. Okay, because matter of fact,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I have not introduced I would guess from the mind
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: bully when matter of fact, where did I meet you at?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I met you at? We did express yourself black Man.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: We both did express yourself black man with kil that
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: episode come out yet, No, I don't think so, yeah,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: he said August.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: So okay, so and nothing yours comes out before mine? Yeah,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: so nerens right yeah, Nce Lawrence, yes, sir Lawrence. Yeah,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: we met over there and it was like, yo, you
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: know what pull up on the show, you know, express
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: yourself black man.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: He was on the show once or twice and some
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: shit like that. I can't remember years ago. I don't
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: think he even lives in New York no more. I
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: think I think he like comes here to record and
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: then dips.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I still follow him. I see his content. Yeah,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: it's great content.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I think we're gonna have it.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: We're gonna have an express yourself black man type of
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: pie today. Okay, I like that yesterday. How you feeling I'm.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Feeling good, my brother, I'm feeling good. How may he
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: be here? How old are you? I'm thirty three, norns?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: How old are you? Thirty thirty? I'm not going to
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: ask you.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna do that to you. I know, we know, right,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: we little over. Do you think they feel the pressure
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: we feel as black men at their age?
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I would say no, because obviously I've been their age before,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: and at that age, I was carefree. I was in
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: the wind.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Boy. You know what I mean?
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: What do you perceive to be the difference between thirty
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: years old black men and fifty year old black men?
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: What I realized, probably since around forty five, is like,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: you know, your whole life up until that point, you
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: kind of looking to your parents, the elders, people that
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: are in charge to kind of put things together, whether
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: it be community, whether it be business wise, family, and
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: then at some point, probably around forty five is the
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: turning point. I'm like, oh shit, like we the ones
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: like we the ones that got to organize the family reunions.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: We the ones that gotta be in charge of the
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: black associations and the community organizations, were the ones that
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: got to run the businesses, and we got to show
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: up in so many different spaces as the responsible adult,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So that's why I'm like.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I've seen somebody online like yo, who told who gave
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: me a kid? You know what I mean? Their whole
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: existence and safety is on me, Like I was just
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: boring cookie crumbs or Nigga's hair and on the fucking train.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Oh shit, my mom, I gotta take care of her, right, like,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: take care of her like we can't. Like when I
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: don't hear from them, I got to make sure that
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: they're safe. Go over there, check make sure the garbage
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: is taken out, make sure that they're healthy, take them
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: to the damn like. You got to actually pay more
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  Speaker 2: attention because when you're thirty, your parents most times are
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: closer to your age fifty when you're fifty, your parents
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: are seventy something, the older whole different existence. You start
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  Speaker 2: realizing one day you're the core. You're the core they
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: when you were growing up, they was there the core yep,
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: and now you know what I mean? Like she hit
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  Speaker 2: me like, oh you know, can I get fifty?
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  Speaker 1: Don't clip this? Don't clip?
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  Speaker 2: She hit me like, yo, you know because you know
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  Speaker 2: she's on social security, no pension, you know, just social
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  Speaker 2: security whatever she gets for whatever. He's like, I need fifty.
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  Speaker 2: I was like, take this four hundred dollars. Yeah, you're
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: not going to ask me for fifty dollars?
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  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's like no, no, no,
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  Speaker 2: I don't.
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to you to be stressed. Ma, you
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: are I have to take care of Like what are
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: we saying? Like you understand what I'm saying? So therenz
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I actually love your name. It's got to take me
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: a second tim say it the right night say with
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: you said no Rancey, it's my name? No NC. I
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: say no Nancy what but parents say no Rancy. I
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: always sit now, but is my name? Where you from? Dallas?
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: But Nigerian Nigga don't bro I'm from Nigeria, but Dallas
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: say that I'm from Dallas correctly. But now I'm from
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  Speaker 1: Dallas the youngest, the youngest of four kids. My parents
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  Speaker 1: are from this city called been In City in Nigeria,
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  Speaker 1: and the history behind it is there is this kingdom
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  Speaker 1: of been In. It was one of the major kingdoms
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  Speaker 1: of the world before our colonizers, the British came in
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  Speaker 1: there and looted it. But that's the personally, the pride
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  Speaker 1: and the perspective that I have and I see life
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  Speaker 1: from is from my ethnic background.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: You trying to style on me, I don't know what
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  Speaker 2: that is.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Hold on, why you just did all that cultural Shiit
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: just now you go on Black American.
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  Speaker 2: I can't do that shit you just did. Yeah you can.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just joking. I'm joking.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: You can't know. I'm fucking with you. Ethnically, though, what
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: do you do? You've never done it? Because I'm scared
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: of police. I've never done I've never done the DNA.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: I'm scared of what they might do with it one day.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Where'd you think they're gonna do with it?
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I never heard that in my life.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: I don't want to find out. I've seen it on
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: dayline though. They could link you to crimes and ship
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: based on who in your family has done the DNA test.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: They've done that. I've seen that.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Most of the people I've met here because I'm from Dallas,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I've been here in New York for a couple of
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: months now. They tell me, oh, I'm part Nigerian. I'm
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: part Nigerian, I said, they pull out the twenty three meters.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, that is interesting. I didn't know that
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: it is true.
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  Speaker 2: But you know, my mom named me. I have an
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  Speaker 2: African nig right, and I love it. It fits me.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I think it means laughter, it's funny. Whatever are they seen?
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: The mics is low in the comments.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: But yeah, but.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: The the the ability to go back into where I'm
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: from man and shit like that. Yeah, that troubles me.
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  Speaker 2: The fact that I can't do that as a black commerry.
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  Speaker 2: You know it does.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that because for me, growing up
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: in the house, the youngest of four, I'm a twin.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: My older sisters are twins as well. Yeah, that's fine,
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  Speaker 1: and you have your experience and many like me can relate.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: When you're Nigerian in the household, but in the school
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  Speaker 1: you're trying to figure it out. Like I grew up
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  Speaker 1: around niggas, like I'm a nigga, right, But when you're
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: quickly seen as different, oh ah wah wah gap to African,
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  Speaker 1: you start thinking about yourself less than like I started
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  Speaker 1: trying to hide that inside of my reality. You know,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I grew up in the household that's a religious background
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  Speaker 1: that loved the Lord and walking towards those things in life.
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  Speaker 1: But I would put that down when I'm at school
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  Speaker 1: and I was in gangs. I did the wrong things
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: growing up. And it's only until I found an orange ball.
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  Speaker 1: And when I picked up the orange ball the game
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  Speaker 1: of basketball, nobody picked at me. The girl like it.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna throw my identity into that. I'll pause there
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  Speaker 1: because there's something that you said about the ethnic background side.
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  Speaker 1: It's even now that I have a challenge with this, bro.
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  Speaker 1: It's because this is different. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: turn it this way. But I get so tired when
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: we have conversations, even within us or in society or online,
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  Speaker 1: when we talk about the black community, the black community,
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  Speaker 1: the black community, as if we're just a monolith as
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  Speaker 1: if oh, we all think the same. There's black Indians,
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  Speaker 1: there's black Haitians, there's black Nigerians, there's black African Americans.
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  Speaker 1: We all have different experieneriences and so like from my
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: background to getting picked on in school, now I'm just
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: supposed to close my mouth and just act like, oh,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: what does that even mean to be a black person
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  Speaker 1: in society in America. I'm just interested in having those conversations.
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  Speaker 1: But for me personally, I'm a believer. And I don't
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: like to say because again I grew up religious, But
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: then I believe when I play professional, I got hit
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: with that mack truck, and that mack truck is Jesus
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Christ a personal encounter. And I say that because before
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I even put on that I'm from Dallas, Texas, I
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: always say my podcast six non Beautiful Night job Boy,
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  Speaker 1: Before all of that, I was a child of God.
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  Speaker 1: So my ethnic background, my nationality, that has nothing to
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: do with my identity, and so I get it. It's dehumanizing,
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  Speaker 1: is what it is when we say, oh, you're black,
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  Speaker 1: and so we only think one way. No, we are
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: intelligent young men that have perspective in life, and we're
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: allowed to speak and grow and give ourselves permission to
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: grow and talk about other things.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm just gonna go pick up my check.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: He can just talk.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be here. You want to just
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: talk for too long? I like these conversations. No, it's perfect.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I don't y'all don't need me. I want to drink.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: We started one place.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I want to get back to that, and then I
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: want to have that conversation that you're talking about with
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: the diaspora for a second, and the identity here. But
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: let's talk about you and yesterday being thirty. What do
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: you perceive to be the difference between you at thirty
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: and the stresses that you may have as a black
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  Speaker 2: man here. I don't know if you live in New
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: York now. I believe you live in New York now,
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  Speaker 2: and what you might perceive us to have at fifty mm.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: I think everybody's want of everybody experiences is different, right,
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: so we're all going to have different things that were
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: challenged by But I think the main difference I think
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: as far as somebody that's thirty and somebody that's fifty,
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: I think, and I'm not trying to be funny, but
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: I think when you're fifty, I think you are who
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: you are, right, I think you are.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: It's pretty much set, right.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: There's always room for growth, there's always room for development,
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: but it's pretty set, Like you know what I'm saying.
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: We're just fine tuning and sharpening up some things. But
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, the struck, sure, it's pretty built.
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: I think when you're thirty, when you're in your thirties,
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: that's like the last stages of that shaping phase.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 4: So I think the I think I don't want to
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: say one is more difficult than the other, but I
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: think that the challenges are different because I think when
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: you're older, you're kind of more set, and it's kind
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: of like, all right, how can I how can I
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: wrap this story up right? How can I sharpen these
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: ends up? How could I make sure the kids the
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: family moms?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: I gotta now become the parent the you know what
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: I'm saying, the parent to the parent. I got to
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: be the parents of the kids, my wife or my partner,
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: so I have to be that role. But I think
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: when you're when you're in your thirties, that is in
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: front of you still, but also who you are, who
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: you're gonna be that next move? Is that is that
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: life decision? Is that going to turn you this way?
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: Is that gonna you know what I'm saying. What's going
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: to determine your money. It's gonna termine your love. Shit,
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: it's gonna termine your friendships. Who's gonna be in your life,
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: who's not gonna be in your life? How much family
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: do you have? So all of those questions are still swirling,
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: and those are things that you're still figuring out. You
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: wake up tomorrow and oh damn, I don't I don't
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: got that same friend with them. I don't got that
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: same This not saying that doesn't happen when you're older,
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: but I think it happens a lot more when you're older.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: But I still respect what you're saying. Yeah, like what
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, like both things. Because I got friends that's passed. Yeah,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: no natural causes. At this age, I've got friends that passed.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: You're just like, what, like that was it?
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: And that's a part of the thing. Now, it's a
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: part of the when you're younger, it's you know, accidents
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: and things like that.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: When you're older.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: It's like, YO, naturally or there was complications or was
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: this like you know what I'm saying that And that's
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: just a part of it. It's not even like, oh,
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: that's something outlandish. That's just like YO, getting down at
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: the percentage of I got ten friends. You know what
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: I'm saying, Some of those percentages is going to fall
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: through at a certain point, right, And that's just the
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: life portion.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: So that's the small perspective. You know. You you mentioned
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: something earlier is about or both of you guys, about
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: putting your families in position, your mom and your dad
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: and making sure like it's on you. Now you mentioned, oh,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: I have a kid, I think you said, and you
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: know I would be remiss to not say that. Man,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: it is totally different twenty years in the gap of
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: what you guys have been able to live life and
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: see and so yes, our experiences are different. It's challenging
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: though for me though, because I personally believe I've seen
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: a lot of life. Six to eight, I was sexually
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: assaulted by older women in my life. It made me
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: feel less than insignificant, A lack of purpose, a lack
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: of work. I was at my father for ten years
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: of my life. He was in Nigeria. He tried to
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: come back over. They took his visa for ten years.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier that I'm a twin and like I
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: did the gangs, in the trials, in schools and all
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: those different things, and I think we all have those
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: different experiences. But I say that because you know, I
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: went to Texas Tech and I played and long story shore,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: I lost two of my family members that got hit
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: by an eighteen wheeler when they came to watch me play.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Last year was the worst year of my life. I
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: lost my sister at the age of thirty three to
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: a cute leukemia. After three days before where a family
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: in Houston, Texas. She has just got behind the mic
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: and told my whole family with tears in her eyes
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: that she beat breast cancer. How does she lose her life?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Three days later, I lost my grandmother. And I've seen
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: all of this, and I'm saying that because we all
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: experience life in our different ways. And when you're at
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: that stage where you're at your sister's funeral and you're
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: looking at her casket and family from all over are
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: watching you, and all I could say bro tears in
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: my eyes it shall end in praise, it shall end
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: in praise. It shall end in praise, it shall end
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: in praise. And I'm saying that because I was angry,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: but I know that there's purpose behind what has happened.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: And so it was crazy because even an hour later,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: my sister, my brother, because my sister's a twin and
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: her late sister's up there speaking, my twin brother's speaking,
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: and all I could do is pray because it's like,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: how can I even talk? Fast forward this year, two
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: weeks ago, we did her one year memorial. I'm behind
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: the mic and I created this video, the hardest video
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I've ever had to do in my life is tell
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: her story twenty three minutes of the craft that she
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: did and spoken word and all this stuff. All that
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: to say, Bro, that's why I like these conversations, because, Bro,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: we all see life no matter how long you've been here. Again,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: there's respect to those that's gone before me like I do.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: And that's why I'm curious about these conversations. But Man,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: when you're at the age of thirty and God allows
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: us to go through life not just for us, but
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: for those after us, and so I know I open
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: the door to my life with my platform, I share
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: the real like people say, Oh, the most confident thing
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: a man can do is to be transparent and be
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: vulnerable about the taboo topics. Like for me, I don't
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: think it's no longer taboo in my opinion, to talk
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: about mental health. For me, it's taboo to talk about Christ,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: or talk about God or talk about the bigger questions.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: I always say we all have five questions in life
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: when we ask ourselves, whether we consciously know it or not.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: It's number one, it's where am I from? It's the
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: question of source I origin. Number two, Why am I here?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: It's the question of purpose? Number three is what can
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I do while that I'm here? It's the question of potential.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Where am I going? Number four is the question of destination.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Number one is the most question we all ask ourselves.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: It's number five. Who am I? It's a question of identity.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: And I mentioned earlier I'm identified with the Kingdom of
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Heaven has arrived that Lord Jesus Christ said, it's not
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: a religious term. It's who I know I am from Genesis.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: And so I say all that to say, bro, like
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: when you are looking at life, BRO, I don't I'm
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: not interested in casual in this stage of my life.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not interested. I'm interested in the freedom and liberation
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: of my people, black men, black women, people in general,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: because again, black is just identifier. What is freedom? Is it? Oh?
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Money?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Is it sex? Is it drugs that we use to
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: suppress what we're actually going through? Or is it the
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: weekends that we used for relief? Or is it actually
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: tackling the real questions? And when you have real questions,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: you ask God. He has real answers, and so that
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I'm interested in curious, inquisitive people that like are tired
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: of just pushing down how they feel. It's like, okay,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: this is what it is. A friend called me literally
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: last night. She said, I want to jump off, I
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: want to take my life. But it's crazy. A friend
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: called her as she was doing that and said the
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: same thing. You know what she did? That friend drove
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: to her house in Virginia, in the PG County area,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: and she stayed there. She's speaking over her and all
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: these different things. She's like, Laurence, why don't I ever
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: get to have that moment for myself? I say, God
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: got a purpose on your life. It's very clear, and
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: so each and every one of us is very clear.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know what y'all been through.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: But have you had that a person call you and
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: say that they was that just happened to you last.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: That was to her last night. But I've had that.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, have y'all had that one of your friends, one
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: of our friends hit me and said they wanted to
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: take their life. Well, I did not know how to
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: get off the phone. Like I was on the phone
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: and didn't know how to end that conversation. I'm on
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: the I can't get off here, right, you just just talk.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Let's talk. Let's talk, Let's talk, you know what I mean,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Because I don't the finality of hanging up that phone.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: I was not comfortable with that, right. And then it's
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: funny when Narra said, y'all want to say it again? Said,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: by the way, when you when you build your church,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: I'll be there. Life happens to all of us, no
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: matter what bro no matter what a person looks like,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: what they got going on, life happens. Is it such
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: a thing as a perfect life? What's the perfect life
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: to you? What's the perfect life to you?
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Shit?
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think there is a perfect life. I
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: mean you could get it as perfect as possible, just
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: having great moments with family, friends, having a purpose feel
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: life where things just seemingly come together. I would say,
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: like a perfect life is almost like where you create
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: like a vision for your life and a path for
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: your success and you like exceed it beyond your wildest dreams,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: like you know you you ever hear like celebrities and
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: interviews like y'o. Never in a million years would I've
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: imagined that I've achieved all of these and surpassed all
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: my goals. I would say that would could be a
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: part of a perfect, perfect life. But besides that, you
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: need health, you got you need family, you need love.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: Like everything gotta be clicking, you know what I mean? Yes,
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: what do you think?
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: I don't really believe in that word. I don't believe
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: in a perfect word. I don't believe in perfect. So
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: I'll be that across the board. So I think perfect
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: love or perfect life. I think if things are perfect,
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: then it's like where's the you know, is the sauce
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: that because if you're perfect, you know, if I just
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: get everything, if everything is on the money, that sounds boring. Yeah,
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: there's no like where am I learning? Where am I growing?
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: Where am I finding things out? If I just have
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: everything and everything goes right. So I think the best
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: case scenario, I think is the life where you get
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: up every day and you know that you tried your
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: best and the people around you have tried their very best.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: And I think sometimes that's all you can ask for
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: because things are not going to be perfect. You're not
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: always going to have your way, and things are not
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: going to be in your favor. But if you wake
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: up every single day and know that you gave your best,
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: I think in the end, that's all you could really
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: ask for. And that's what you can ask for for somebody, right,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: because you're not gonna be perfect every day. You're not
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: gonna be on the money every day. But I know
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: if that you tried, I think y'all nailing I'm okay.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: I think y'all are nailing it right, and I'm I'm
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: gonna let normals finish us off. But for me pause,
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry I do that.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I had to.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry I had to. I'm sorry, but I watched
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: this movie the other day, maybe a week two weeks ago.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: It's an old movie. It's called Big Fish, right, this
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: is white dude, and he like travels the world. Things
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: keep happening, man like, I don't know. He steps in
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: the water analogated choose his legof but through that he
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: develops the first mechanical leg and changes the lives of
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: mad kids across the world through that, right, And then
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: in that whatever that happens, something else happens that he
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: used that pit, and it continuously sees the purpose or
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: the upside of whatever he's going through and affects positivity
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: to the next person and to the next person and
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: to the next person. And none of these actual things
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: that I'm talking about happened in the movie. It was
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: a great movie. But at the end of it, through
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: all the trials and tribulations this man went through, he
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: had affected all of these different people. He had built
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: a legacy of positivity, of helping, nurturing, you know what
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: I mean. And he was celebrated. Yet when he was
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: going through it, there was nothing but like, Yo, what
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: the fuck?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Why am I here? You know what I'm saying? Why now?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: What this? What? You know?
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: What's the lesson in this? And I think that's to
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: me the epitome of a perfect life for me.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: My man called me the other day and he was like, Yo,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: my lady left me or whatever. And I was on
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: the phone with him for a minute and talking. I'm
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: talking and talking to him. Me and him ain't really
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: friends though we've met. It's like me and him and
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: he just happened to have my number and he called
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: me and he was on the phone for like forty
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: five minutes and was raining the shit. I'm just sitting
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: in the car and he was like, Yo, what made
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: you talk to me this long? And I said, I
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: think that's my purpose, bro. That's my purpose, bro, is
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: to spread that to other people that need Like, what
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: else are we doing on this fucking planet? What is
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: the purpose of all of this?
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: If you're not helping grow, like if you plant something,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: we gotta really think about this shit.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: This this whole shit that we're doing. This world is crazy.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: But really, you could take a fucking seed from this
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: and put it in the dirt and water it and
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: life just happens. Or me and this person bond, not
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: you because you don't have a universe, but me and
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: this person bond, and a baby come out, life come out,
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Like that's really the purpose here on this earth, and
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: I don't think that we really understand that we watching
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: social media and all this negativity all day and it's like,
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: what the fuck is y'all even talking about what we do?
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: Even in friendships too, like you can give life to
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. You know, I was watching Real.
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, give me one second.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Real did millions of views on his pod recently, one
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: after the other.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Right, and he came to me.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: When he came to me, me and Real are family,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: but we didn't really be around each other. And I
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: was like, bro, I want you to be part of
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: my community. Whatever I can do to help you, that's
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: all the things that I'm that I can get. Right,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: you come sit here, and I don't want to be
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: on your show. I want to be behind the scenes
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: so that they know you. Because if I'm there, because
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I'm so popular, they're going to think of me all
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: I want them to see you. Why is that so important? What?
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Because there's a lot of people that have success and
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: they've built their platform and you almost see each other
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: as competition. I talk to him about I played sports
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: and that's competition. Competition? How where does that come from?
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: What's that the competition part now for you like wanting
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: somebody to do well and succeed, because as a man,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: it's part of us, is what are wired to kind
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: of grow and grow and grow and grow and grow.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: How do you see somebody while you're trying to ascend
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: as well and pick them up.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: It's probably come from trauma, to be honest, they probably
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: come from want and love. Right, Your things that you
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: been through, and these are things I just I don't
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: read much. I know you do, but things that you've
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: been through, and I'm not mocking you. I'm impressed. Like
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: if I keep throwing jabs, it's because I'm impressed to
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: let you know that I'm dead, ass, I'm dead coming
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: to your church. But I think that things that you've
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: been through, they form your values as you get older. Right,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: And so maybe me wanting love, once I get to
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: a certain place in life, I'm able to trans transfer
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: that into giving love and then I find what I
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: was looking for in the gift rather than the yearning
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: for it.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: Right, Well, you know I love it because I'm the
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: same way I think you know, growing up, I talked
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: about kind of sexual assault and without my father, and
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: so I thought I was insignificant, less than I put
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: my everything in the game of basketball. And so I'm
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: a twins of twenty thirteen. My twin brother went to
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Texas Tech. He's a doctor now, and I went to
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: a prep school. Long story short. A month, honestly, weeks
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: out before signing day. I went to this prep school.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I was killing, I played this national schedule, and I
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: still had no offers. I remember sitting like this with
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: one of my boys and his dorm room and we
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: was just laughing, like, Bro, we came out here from Texas,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: like we wasted our time.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: What we own?
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: All of our friends are in college right now. And
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: he was just like, Bro, you know above us is
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: the film room. If we go in that film room,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: we take the tapes. What could happen if we just
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: send them out? Like we highlight tapes to every school
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: in the country. Bro. We literally spent the whole night
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: doing that. And I'm telling you, like every school, like
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: every high major. I was getting hit up, hit up
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: within hours, within hours of Texas techs. The coach at
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: the time, Tebby Smith. He flew from Lubbock, Texas to
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: where I was at in Florida and then I had
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: an offer in two days. I'm saying that. I'm saying
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: that because, like you know that stride, that going and
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: going and going. I went through that stage and when
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: it almost has checked off to where oh I placed
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: myself in this identity and now I'm getting rewarded from
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: like the game of basketball a Texas Tech. I have
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: an offer and now I'm starting my freshman year. Fast
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: forward to the final four. We played on the final
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Monday night, we lost the Virginia in overtime. In twenty nineteen,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: you go to next year, you play with the Phoenix Suns,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: then the Sons G League, you go overseas. I'm in
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: this three story house, the most money I've ever seen,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Brose of Bamberg is at the time, it's like the
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Lakers of that eighth region, like two JINNI Yeah, it
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: was a lot. And so in Germany at the time
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: during COVID, I'm sitting there with everything I ever thought
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I wanted. I had a Puma deal. At the time,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at my friends online nine hours away from family,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: and I'm like they actually think that I'm successful, but
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: i feel like I'm sinking. I was the worst I've
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: ever been. All the stories from childhood start coming up
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: because I'm in this thirty day period to where my coach.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: If anybody knows Overseas basketball, he's the coach and the GM.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: And so it's problematic when you have two Americans that
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: make all the money. What happens when one of the
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Americans gets hurt. He's trying to force that contract in
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: to get somebody in that can actually play, and so
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: unfortunately it was me. I was thirty days without that
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: in between teams during COVID and it's snowing and it's
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: it's crazy outside. So I was locked out of the gym.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: And in my head, the question becomes, who are you
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: if you are not what you do? Who are you
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: when you cannot perform? I couldn't be the captain of
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: the team. I couldn't work for my worth. I was
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: licked literally in what I thought I wanted and I
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: had to face me.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: My mom she sent me like a sermon, BRO. And
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: it's even crazy because I see all this stuff like
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: intimacy and Bro. I had just flown a supermodel bro
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: from BRO, a supermodel from Switzerland. BRO, and I'm talking
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: about like we had just got physical and like it
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: was water like water. It was. It was crazy, right, bro,
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: not holy water. And I'm sitting there like I don't
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: feel anything. I don't care about any of this, And
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: so my mom she sends me this text, bro out
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: of the blue, and it was about some like African
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: American pastor old like I resonated. He was talking about
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: like the battle between the mind and the battle of
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: the mind, and how like our thought life and how
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: the Word of God can be our armor for these
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: negative thoughts that were coming. I never dealt with suicidal
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: ideation until then. I never dealt with like like because
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I also had a concussion at the time, so I
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: was popping pills just to feel okay. I never went
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: through that. But when you're over there and there's people
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: talking to German and dutchy you don't even understanding what
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: they're saying. And this coach you're going three times a day,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: he's saying these negative nasty we don't wear do rags
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: in Europe, all this like prejudice, Like you start believing
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: it and all those things are coming. Now I look
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: at it. It's a spiritual attack. And I say that
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: because Bro, I don't even know how I got on this.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: But Bro, when you are going through real life and
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: you're in these moments where everybody thinks you're shining again,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: it goes to, oh, how come I'm smiling in public
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: and sinking in private? What do you do? What is
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: the question that you do? What are the questions that
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: you ask yourself? And so literally you said something I
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: want and I went to zero in on yeah, the
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: people pleasing aspect because I still see that inside of
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: me a little bit like when I post and the
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: competitor side as Okay, I don't need the game of
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: basketball any more. I've built this platform. I'm doing these
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: shows all this. Sometimes it's like people please, people please.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I want to feel that that worth. But I have
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: to check myself and say, hey, bro, before I can
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: even speak, before I can even shoot a basket, I'm valuable,
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I'm loved. I'm special too. If I died, God, my
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: father says, before the foundation of the world, he knew me,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: he framed me, he formed me to be in the
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: image of his dear son, and he proved it. He says, Hey,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I love you, and I prove it. I got it
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: back in blood. I'll give my son for you. And
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: it's interesting, bro, whenever I'm in my head about bro,
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: like I don't know what to do or now I
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: just moved to New York Man the sublet in at thirty.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: First, what God shows up? Bro?
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: He shows up in my life. And so I'm passionate
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: about these conversations and to know, Like I asked you
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: the question why do you care so much? And you
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: mentioned childhood. I resonate with that as well. But it's like,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: how do we go forward and serve from a position
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: of not of what we need, but what we know
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: they need? And it almost looks like the same. But
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: for me, it's really rooted in a conversation that I
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: have daily with Christ.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I think it's the God in you though I really
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: do believe, like Yo, we are natural healers too, like
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: at fifty something years old right now, And I don't
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: know it's because I have children. I'm literally I feel
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: good touching that was about to be bad. I feel
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: good helping people, Bro. It feels good like I'm not
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: I've done all the fucking everybody, I've done, all the
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: getting money and all that I've done. All of that,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: there's no worth in that to me, Like, no more.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: It really isn't like when I look around and I'm
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: able to see love from the people that I'm around,
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: and I'm able to say that. I remember when I
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: got in my cousin's life here and I looked at
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: him and I could see that he was hungry. He
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: just needed a chance. Two years later, he's on his
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: bop and I would think that because of my involvement
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: in his life, he's able to move in the ways
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: that he's wanted to move, but just needed that, you
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: know what I mean.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: It's funny that you said that. When you was getting
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: dressed me, I spoke about that. He had asked me
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: why did I want to be involved here? Right, And
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: he was like, you know something already established? What makes
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: you want to be involved? And I told him, I said,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: you know, I was at a point in my life
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: where I was I was at one of the worst, right.
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: I had just got out of that accident, right, and
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: at that point I was trying to figure out where
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: I was about to go right with my career looked
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: like when my work situation looked like money family, right,
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: that had just passed. So everything is seemingly crumbling in
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: my life, and I don't know if I've ever told
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: you this time, but that year, in twenty twenty four January,
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: I had made a plan, right, so you know that's
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: when I was doing a lot of shit on Twitter, right,
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: So we still talking shit a lot on Twitter, and
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: I said to myself, I was like, you know, I'm
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: gonna like work myself up over here and then like
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: October November, I'm gonna hit tie up and tell you
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: know what I'm saying and present myself to him in
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: a certain type of you know what I'm saying and
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: let him know that I want to be a part
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: of this. And you hit me up in April. And
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: April you hit me up and said you'll send me
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: a number. And when you did that, that was the
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: moment that I realized that, like you said, oh God
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: is watching me, and God and this is the moment, right,
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: this is the I had named my Eye. I put
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: out the album a little bit before that called more Ready
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: than Ever, and that's what it was about. It was
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: about being ready no matter when it comes. You're not
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: gonna know when the opportunity is gonna come, but if
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: you're ready for it, you don't have to go.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And get ready.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: So when he hit me up and you said that
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: and we spoke, that's why even coming here, I approached
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: everything like, yo, bro, you know what I'm saying. Whatever
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: you say, I'm gonna just rock with you, because not
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: only do I trust you and I respect what you do,
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: but this don't just happen like this, right, and especially
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: with me thinking that before and then you're doing it,
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: It's like this is supposed to happen so and so.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: But I have to come here, and I have to
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: be willing to get better, be willing to learn, and
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: you know, take what's shown to me. So you know,
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: and I always say that, and everybody I've said that
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: to you, I don't know if I've ever said that
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: to you directly, but that you never said that. Yeah,
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: but that that was it. I felt it right. I
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: can see it, like, Yo, this niggas hungry and I
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: got an abundance. Why not spread it around to the
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: people around me. This nigga took care of me. I
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: learned from him. I didn't have that. I had sharks
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: around me, bro, and I wanted to be around the sharks.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: And then I kind of was that way with people
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: that liked me around I was so confused when I
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: was young. But whatever, but he showed me love, like
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: openly love, like, yo, you want a piece of the sandwich.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Niggas wasn't doing that I grew up. They wasn't doing that.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean. Niggas eating in front of
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: you and you starving. Bone, you know what I mean,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: bones touching, rips touching. And he would be like, yo,
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: yah yo, I got this juice here, get a cup
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: pour some of his juice, and your here, Like what
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: the fuck? So I took to that because that's love.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: And I guess when I started thinking about who I
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: wanted to be, I wanted to be that. I wanted
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: to represent that that that feels good to me, you
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: Also having kids kid, Yeah, because again you just said it.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: That's not normal for you know, if you were around
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: people that just take, take, take, take, they were not
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: giving you, it's foreign when you're around somebody that's given giving.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm like, where did that for you? How
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: did that start?
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: It probably just started in my home, my family, you
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: know what I mean. Got an older brother and both
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: my parents together, there's a lot of love in the family.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: And everybody took care of me, you know what I mean,
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: being the youngest, I was the youngest cousin and everything.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: So I guess it was just natural for me to
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: just show love because that's what I always received. People
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: always took care of me. I just thought it was normal,
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And it's like, like Tahoe said,
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: when you feel like there's abundance, and even if it's
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: not like physical or financial abundance, but just like but energy,
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: love and generosity, Like I've always been a generous person
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: because I've always been blessed with enough, you know what
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: I mean.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it is. It's beautiful to know that
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I can give from a place and maybe I don't
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: have it all, but I can serve and I can
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: pour into somebody because I know that it's possible to
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: have that. I like what you said. It's beautiful honestly,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: because we had this conversation before we started, and just
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: to pull it forward and I never heard him.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: Say that before.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nuts. And I think even a platform or
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: to curate a space to make it possible for him
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: to even say that is everything as a man. This so.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Dang, we've been for half kind of cooking a little bit.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: It's cooking. What the hell is it's on high right now?
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: I do want to ask a question though, talk to me.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: When when I was growing up, we did a lot
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: of the things, a lot of the things that I
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: hear from my brothers that live here that are not
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: black American, the African booty scratcher, the oh you mad
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: dark skin? Remember Fatima? Yeah, she's so dark, she purple
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: bro crazy, blue black.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: That's blue black, limousine tent. Now it's cool now, Afro
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: it's cool. It's pop right right, uh huh, but interesting.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Now, but it's true, like we really did a lot, right,
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: and so the I do want to speak about the experience,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: and you say that you don't like the diaspora wars
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: like or do you feel pride and saying yeah, I'm
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: here now now y'all.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: Like me beautiful. It's a paradoxic both like yeah, like
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: you we want to pop your chest out to be
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: like oh we was the laughing start. I had to
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: as curl to the point of man, I kind of
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: want my hair a little curly too. I kind of yeah,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I was doing that, but then now it's like, oh,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: it's actually cool.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Like fucking with your identity like you want this.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: It's like I was looking mirror and say I like me,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: and you hear negative, negative, then you hear just okay.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: One of these dudes, his name was Cedric Holmes. When
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: my Space came out, he was just light skin tall
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: like I'm like, I told him, I'm like dad. Like basically,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: it's that was the image everybody wanted to be like,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: and for me, I didn't understand it and I was
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: fighting against it, like I would always be the one
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: in class making jokes. But then back home, I'm like, damn,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: like it's it's wrong to be Nigerian, it's wrong to
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: be darker. It's wrong. Like that was playing in my head.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: And so it's interesting now when you ask the question, yeah,
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I'm popping it. But also it's to honor your differences
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: because God made you and he placed me, Like for me,
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I'm Nigerian, but I happened I'm not just Nigerian. And
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I found that out when I was in fifth grade.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I'm on stage because one of my cousins he's friends
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: with this comedian and I was behind the mic in
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: fifth grade and I'm thinking, I don't know nothing about Nigeria.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: They're like, where are you from. I said, I'm from
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: the USA and they start laughing like like nigga, basically
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: like nigga, you don't think we know what that is?
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: Ignorant?
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: Nick like where where are you? And I was like,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: I'm from Texas and all this All the while I
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: was like, dang, so I don't fit in here. They're
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: clearly making fun of me here. Back on, I don't
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: fit in you just feel like an alien. I'm saying
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: that to say God made me Nigerian, but he also
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: made me in the city for Worth, Texas. Hey you
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: talking about all blacks, no meskins? Hey you talk ab out.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: That's how he made me too. And so it's to
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: embrace every side, every facet to you, but not think
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: that's you. Those things may be ways that I'm able
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: to express myself culturally, that's not my identity. And so
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I'm at the place of you. You honor all the
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: lived experiences that you went through. You be loud. I
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: always say I teach the boy, I teach people who
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I am. I preach sometimes I use words, sometimes it's
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: with my life. But we're able as we confront life
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: together audaciously, with audacity. It's beautiful because we can see
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: the differences and respect each other that way.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: What about the women when you see a difference in
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: the way they handle you where there's black American Nigerian
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: dark skin like they, do you feel fetishized? Do you
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: feel like it's changed from young to now?
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Beautiful question, because I'll answer in a different way. I
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: grew up in a religious household and the first girl
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: that ever kind of talked to she was Nigerian and
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: this was like my junior year, long story short, my household,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: whereas she was a cheer and she would drop me off.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Picture me just scoring twenty five. She dropped me off,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: They go to the party. I can't do nothing because
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: that's the household I grew up in. But in Texas
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Tech it's West Texas, five hours away from the Metroplex
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: and DFW, and the pigmentation was not that.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: It was all white.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: And so it's interesting when I go into a lecture
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: hall and there's five hundred students in the class and
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: the professor's like, okay, you guys have a project. You
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: need one partner. And I look to my right and
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: there's this girl like doing the whole. You want to
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: be part of it. I'm just like, bro, I'm an athlete.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I have my headphones and I'm like, I don't sure. Bro.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: We walk out and I'm going left because I'm going
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: to the library that's like on the left, and she's
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: going straight. She's like, where are you going? Don't you
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: live Carpenter Wells over here? And in my head, I'm like,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: how do you know where I live? But now I
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: know I'm an athlete. Everybody knows where the athlete lives.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: And so we go to my apartment and I'm in
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: the living room like this, taking everything out, like I'm
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: literally don't know what's about to go down because I've
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: never never even you know. As I'm taking everything out,
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: she goes through our apartment. I live with three other teammates.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: She's like, whose room is this? Whose room is it?
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: She gets to my room. I have this, Oh yeah,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: I have this big Julius Irving jersey on and just
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: different things. She's asking so many questions, touch and stuff,
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: and she's like, come in here, come in here. I'm like,
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: all right, cool. So I go in there and I
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: go in there and it's the first time I've ever
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: went in there and she was white. And I say
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: that because fast forward to years later in Dallas, I
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: go through this random spot and this girl's black American
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: African American girl. She said, oh, you fine, but it
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: looked like you only like white girls. And so in
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: that moment full circus, I'm like, what do you want
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: me to say? No, I don't like white girls.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: You like me.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I like you, and so it's like something that I
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: can't say. Oh, I feel bro. The first time I
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: lost my virginity to a white girl. I went to
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: school in the college full of white girls. I'm an athlete.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: They fleets that were around or the people around the
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: athletes were white women. And so it's like, of course
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: I like all women. I like all flavors, anything that's
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: universally beautiful. Hello, what's happening? You gotta love love the
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Lord Jesus Christ. But what am I saying? I'm saying
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: it's interesting now again, I get this whole the diaspora
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: war is in a different way even with relationships. I
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: don't like it. Bro. I don't care if you.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Blue, black, white.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: If you love what I love, which is Christ, and
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: if you are a great person, let's have a conversation,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: and so that that's kind of my standpoint. Now, do
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: you not I hate that.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: I know they're going to try to clip this, so
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: I want to I want to make sure that we
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: see the right thing that we see to say the
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: right things here.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Do you not understand the relationship between white women and
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: black men historically here in this country? Yes?
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: I do. I do.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: And why that's irritating to black women when they see
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: black men because I feel like they think, for one,
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: the relationship between black men and black women in this
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: country seems to be strained, right, It seems to be strained,
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: especially on social media. So what happens is you have
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: black men who are irritated or frustrated or whatever, going
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: at black women, judging black women, talking down on black women,
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: and then bigging up other cultures, right, especially specifically white women. Right,
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: and in their lust for white women, they say, I
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: don't fuck with you know, I'm fucking with her because
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: I don't fuck with black women. In that conversation, it
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: gets lost that some people grew up around white women.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: That's just their environment. It's just what was there, right,
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: And so the conversation gets lost That's why I said,
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure that we understand that's just
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: what your environment was. It's not that you went chasing
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: after that or you preferred that. That's just what your
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: environment was. And I'll say something, but go ahead, do
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: you not feel, as a big black n word, yeah,
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: that you could have been being fetishized by these white women,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: like especially as an athlete man as they say they
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: plan on yon niggas, they watch your niggas.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: You're right, and that's a possibility. I don't. Personally, my
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: take is I don't. I don't like to think about
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: that because if you if I walk back to my experience, nigga,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: the girls at my school and who I thought was
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: fine was sisters that didn't like me. The white one
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: did not like me. So it's like, okay, now I'm
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: at this this point in my life, whereas okay, the
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: glow up. If one wants to say now, y'all like now,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I can only say, well, I don't. I didn't have
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: that experience. And so for me, even my cousin, my cousin,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: he married a white woman. One of my friends married
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: a white woman, one of my black one of my
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: white friends married a black woman. I've seen so much
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: mix of culture in this stage. Just like, bro, how
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: how for me? How dare people online tell other people
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: that they don't even know their context? How to live
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: based on your own experience, whether it's fear, all is valid, granted,
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: But as a big man, y if full big age,
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: I know, okay, when I'm online, I have no idea
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: what this person has been through. So again, I'm not
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: gonna put them in a category that's dehumanized it black white.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna put them in a category based on
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: my own experience and tell them how they should be
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: seeing life and how we can know, Like, I'm gonna
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: let that person be, but when we have a cover.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: That's why conversation is everything to me, Because Bro, if
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: you're not able to have a conversation without your own
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: preconceived notions on why somebody is the way they are,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: you don't care about that person. And like you said earlier,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: that's not love. Love is actually okay, I'm gonna investigate this,
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: we can talk about this. I'm not just gonna, oh like,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: come with fear and fight for my stance. Bro. Love
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: is like I could be wrong informing on your perspective,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: and so for me, bro, not like unapologetically. I'm at
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: this page where bro, love who you love, but don't
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: be I there is a point I get what you're saying.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: There is a point where I had friends like, Bro,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: you all jolly because you got your little token white girl.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Chill chill out, you all jolly.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: Even my sister she's like, why you if she is
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: she white? I said, yeah, she's white, and I'll have
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: that conversation because I'm like, okay, at ten is her name,
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: she's white, But why do you always ask that?
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: Well, I blocked it block home, and you're all good.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: She wasn't a good person either, So like, that's that's
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: not love and we have to be able to challenge ourself.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Go ahead, anybody, now.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: I was just gonna say, like, I've always been the
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: type where I like who likes me? You know what
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, I've never ta who knowed me since you, like,
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: never been the type to really be aggressive or approach
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: your girl unless I knew that she liked me or something.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: And I understand that resonates with me because I could understand, like, yo,
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: if blurt women my age ain't checking for me in
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: high school or college, and the white women all it's like.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: You're supposed to be black legs. But this this goes
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: back into the point where I feel like black women
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: are more tied to the struggle and holding up the
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: culture than black men choose to be. Not saying that
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: we don't suffer from it, but do we make easy
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: choices when it comes to that? For instance, I just
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: you know, do you what do y'all think? Because I'm
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: not gonna say black women don't choose white men sometimes,
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: but I think that they're more connected to the things
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: that they've done to them and the harm or the
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: building up of the black community, and black men can
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: choose to be I hate to say that.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Bring a beautiful perspective. I'll I hate to say time
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: because my sister kind of agrees with some of those sentiments.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: And when she says that, I listen, He's like, no,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I'm a black woman, and I can kind of see
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: that interesting, right, But.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Why is that choice?
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: Why don't we I think I think it goes back
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: to what you said earlier about the the putting the
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: other side down. I think as I think when we
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: have these conversations, I think I think we hear black
• 49:10
  Speaker 4: men a lot say I'm with this person because of
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: all of the negative stuff about this person, And I
• 49:17
  Speaker 4: guess with black women and white men, it's just like, Yo,
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: he makes me happy, he does this, he has shown
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: me this. Yo, I've had this experience. He showed me
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: this experience. It's not always black men, you know what
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: I'm saying. So I think from when you start on
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: that base, it's always it's always going to be negative,
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. As black men saying Yo,
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: black women, anything negative is never going to land good,
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: especially when you're saying, well, all the black women stuff
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: is negative, but the other the other.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Side is christ plus plus crazy.
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: Just that you know that whole that setup is just
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: never going to be good, and especially when you're explaining
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: it that way, you know what I'm saying, especially when
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: you're not being graceful or trying to bring people along
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: with understanding.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: Right. So, I think.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: I have a question and I want to be gentle
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: in the accident. We can do we don't We can
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: we can totally abort, right, we can totally abort this.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: If I'm wrong from asking this, don't pineapple as a
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: Nigerian man and you have I would assume a connection
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: to the Nigerian culture somewhat. And I don't like say
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: African culture because there's so many different cultures over there,
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: you can't really say African culture, right, But you're somewhat connected,
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: and you know way more than me. You're you're you're
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: in the circles that hear the talk or to hear
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: whatever of history of the culture. Are Nigerians quote unquote
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: or parentheses Africans as tied to the harm of slavery
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: as Black Americans?
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's a beautiful question because I think there's
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: this idea that slavery is a deeper, quick conversation, But
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: slavery happens today in Nigeria today. Yes, slavery happens today
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: in Nigeria, and it could be black on black slavery
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: today today. And so I'm saying that because there's this
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: idea that slavery in America is. Yes, it's a different
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: experience and again, no slight to what somebody's life and
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: what their lineage has actually been through at the hands
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: of slavery in America. That's a huge thing. But I'm
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: saying in Africa, there's another type of hierarchy, and there's
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: another type of slavery and bondage that people are still
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: under as well.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: And so that's why I say, like.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: These preconceived notions that we have about our own experience,
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: I don't tend to like that. I tend to conversate
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: and have the conversations based on what you've actually been through,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: not what you've read, but even what you've read because
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: you weren't here, that's valid for your experience. But also okay,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: let's look at another person from another culture and be
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: able to act questions like you just did on what
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: they went through. So again, like Bro, there's tribalism in Nigeria,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: there's there's slavery till today in Nigeria, there's in a
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: lot of these and I don't even like this third
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: world countries if there's a lot of that brutalization. And
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: so that's even a deeper conversation that I have with
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: even friends that I grew up with me that now
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: they read a lot and say, oh, we're different. I'm like, yeah,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: we're different, But like, Bro, Nigga, we grew up on
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: saying what you're talking about. I was like Joe like then,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: So it's it's interesting, it's a different experience, but there
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: is some of that in Nigeria.
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: I'm conflicted with your answer because the trans Atlantic slave trade,
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: to me, affected black Americans, Caribbean Americans, anybody of color,
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: and such a horrendous fashion. I'm not even able to
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: compare what's going on in Nigeria right now. I have
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: no idea, but the idea of when you said, oh,
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: what happened to you today? It's like, bro, can you
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: imagine four or five generations of your people? And you
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: know I work sentation, Bro. I found a steel shoe today.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: A shoe. It's a steel shoe. I'm like, who the
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: fuck water is? It's a shoe. It's like a it's
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: not a ten and a half. It's steel. And it
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: made me think of slavery. It made me think, imagine
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: that on your raw foot. And it had a clamp, right,
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: but the clamp was be honest, the clamp was made
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: out of like plastic. But imagine that as steel. Imagine
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: a clamp as steel and a steel shoe and that's
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: how you walk. And the chains are steel. So it's
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: taught right. It's very like King Kink. There's no give
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: imagine that being your existence for four hundred years, not
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: only your legs, but your wrists or your neck. The
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: I myself have never been through slavery, obviously, and I
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: don't even think. I think my family comes from Grenada, Panama, Barbados,
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: you know, arouba. So I don't even think I was
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: closely tied to what happened here in America. But I
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: feel it when I look at white people, I feel it.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: I did feel that shit every time I look at them,
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: like yo, y'all dead, thought that was okay, that wasn't okay.
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that reminds me. I was just watching this clip
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: from John Hope Bryant. Y'all know who that is. He's
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: like a financial group kind of got black man, and
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: he was talking about black Americans have self esteem problems.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: We have low self esteem because of the Transatlantic I
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: think that's a trade, right, and because being transported here
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: and being in the system, and even years apart from
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: like generations away from it, it's still it's passed down.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: We were came into a system with white supremacy, and
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: slave masters did so much to break us down, break
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: down the family, and so we don't look at ourselves
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: as on the same equal footing. We're not whole, right whole. Yeah,
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: He compared it to Africans and Caribbean blacks, and they
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: have higher self esteem generally, all of these generalizations because
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: you still lived in a country where your dentist was black,
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: your accountant was black, your teacher was black, you know
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: what I mean. And you know, like my parents in
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: Jamaica grew up the same way, like everybody's black there.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: So you're going to have a higher self esteem because
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: you see yourself in higher places where in America the
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: black Americans were always looked at less than him and
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: the white folks were on a pedestal so to speak, right,
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: And he mentioned that the black Americans have higher confidence,
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: but the non black Americans have higher self esteem. And
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: if we could figure out a way to why is
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: that increase our self esteem? So the confidence comes from
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: Black Americans. Confidence comes from like America being like not
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: a third world country, being more advanced. We have more
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: access to things. We're more confident in the arts and
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: even intellectual spaces because America has more resources and things
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: like that, you know what I mean. So we have
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: more ability to move and shake and so we're more
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: confident like we American, right, but we don't have the
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: self esteem. And that's why Caribbean Americans Africans can move
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: to the United States and excel in business in school
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: beyond us, you know what I mean, beyond Black Americans
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: that are born here. I thought that that was very interesting.
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, that's a very good point, I think, as
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: far as the confidence portion of it, because I think
• 57:05
  Speaker 4: I think even when think about the the slave trade,
• 57:08
  Speaker 4: I think that was very important, but I think the
• 57:11
  Speaker 4: stuff that happened right after was also as important too.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: So when we're talking about like just the creation of
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: the police force, right, Jim Crow, those types of things,
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: and I think when you get into those different levels,
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: it wasn't the same thing as slavery, but it was
• 57:25
  Speaker 4: very it was very much in the same ballpark when
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: you talk about the creation of the police force and
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: how and how just how that integrates into our society
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: now the Jim Crow shit. So when you say the
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: confidence thing, that makes a lot of sense because it's
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: like there was things done at every step of the
• 57:39
  Speaker 4: way from the ending of slavery all the way up
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: until now where it was like, oh, this is this
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: is to take the confidence. Right, then we go to
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: the war on crime and things like that, So I
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: think all of those different pieces, like it's slavery and
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: then it's all the other stuff too. It's two different
• 57:53
  Speaker 4: ways that we're fighting. So it's like to the confidence portion,
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: I understand why we wouldn't have confidence because there's been
• 57:59
  Speaker 4: an attack on our confidence all about leaders education, our knowledge,
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: our thought, leaders, you know what I'm saying.
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: It was actually in reverse that affected our self esteem exact.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: But our confidence comes from the arrogance yes.
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: And being being yeah, I'm sorry, being I'm sorry I
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: was saying. Right, that self estem is part and the
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: confidence part. For me, the confidence is us prevailing all
• 58:18
  Speaker 4: of that. That's what makes us confident because it's like
• 58:20
  Speaker 4: we've had to face all of that and we've still
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: been able to kind of be in the same realm.
• 58:25
  Speaker 4: So we're looking at it like we're competing with hands
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: behind our back and we're still able to put up points,
• 58:30
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. So we have a certain
• 58:31
  Speaker 4: level of confidence, but the esteem, I feel like it's
• 58:34
  Speaker 4: been broken down over the you know, all of these
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: courses of things.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: So there's there's two things to that that I want
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: to because you guys brought up a great point for me,
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not I do agree again, like the slave trade,
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: that is unique, That is a obviously very detrimental, challenging
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: system that nobody can experience with. So in the middle
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: of your point, I know you're about to make, go ahead.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: My question really was, how tied to y'all are the
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: damages of the trans Atlantic slave trade? They took y'all,
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: They took y'all people and just shipped them away, just
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: the ole states of y'all states, whole states are We're
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: gonna take New York, We're gonna take DC, We're gonna
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: take Maryly, We're gonna ship them across the you never
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: gonna see them again, right, How tied are y'all to
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: the damage of the transit Lantic slave trade? That as
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: the black Americans are still tied to the damage of
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: the right And I think there's a there's something there
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: that we can do this, but I just don't think
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: it's there. That's why I'm asking at my mistaken.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, you're actually good question because I've never thought
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: of it like that. I'll say the way that I
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: think of it honestly is it goes to my second
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: point that I was going to say. It's it's like,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: what do we do with this information that we've we've
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: went through, that our people have went through, that history
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: has taught us that as we learn, like that's crazy
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: if I saw steel boot that like it take you back,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Like that's it's fascinating that you said that, But it's
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: like it's frightening at the same time, how do we
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: take this information and be able to inspire and instill
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: in the youth how to move forward not with the
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: lens of pain and blame and almost like two brothers
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: and sistems that don't look like us growing up in
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: the time that okay, Like how do we not just apologize? Apologize?
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Apologize, apologize?
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: Like I don't personally enjoy that conversation either, like what
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: is the correct way to go forward? But I do say,
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: like just to go back because I remind bro, the
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: psyche it is unique to African Americans, the psyche across globally.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: On a black person, it's still like, why do I
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: have uncles that they come over here and around a
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: white man, they'll act a certain way, but no, and
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: it's it's what it is. And then but so again
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: I agree with the effects globally, it's like, yeah, we
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: like if I go over there, they know all the erhaps,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: but now it's different, like it's everywhere, but like but
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: they're still oh the white man. That's still you still
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: act a certain way, which is a challenge. And so
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: my thing knowing all this thing, this stuff, I'm curious
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: to know what you guys think on how you move
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: forward because again for me, I like to look at
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: things from a biblical lens. Bro, I don't wrestle against
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: flesh and blood because my own people didn't try to
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: do stuff to me. One of my best friends growing
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: up African American, he's dead, cripping, dead, shot, killed by
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: a black man. And so again that's a totally different experience.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: But I'm saying, Bro, there is a spirit behind every
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: human being, and so there was a spirit that used
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: to brutalize black people under the guise of Christianity. That's
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: a real challenge that we still have to face. There's
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: a spirit that uses in Nigeria today under fetish gods
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: and different things brutalized in other Nigerians. There's a spirit
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: under different but what am I saying, Bro, look at
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: something deeper. I do look at it, and I think
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: my thing is like one last thing, My thing is
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: we only look at black white, black white, and we Bro,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: it's a spirit. And so if we're able to see
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: clearly to know, like, Bro, this is just the case thing. Okay,
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: how do we have conversations based on love? Like we
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: said before, regardless of what package you came in not.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: I don't agree. I completely disagree because we not empowered.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: If I was in power, if we were in power,
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: then maybe we could do it that way.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: But we're at war.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: That at war with us. We not starting the war.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: Its fifty cents said years ago. And I always bring
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: up this point. You can't make peace with people who
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: want war with you. You have to show them you're
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: a threat first, and then there you have to impact them.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: You think all of them are at war.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: I believe white supremacy is deeply ingrained in the culture.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: I think it's affecting our First of all, I'm a father.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: I got five kids. I got to make sure they okay.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: The way I make sure they're okay is establishing their communit,
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: their knowledge themselves and a community around them that would
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: help raise them, putting them in school, making sure that
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: they get internships or whatever with other black people, whether
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: it's fraternity sorority, whether it's just through whatever their majors are.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: They're going into spaces where people will help them move forward.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: We need that they have that in this country. They
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: have that. If all four of us went out right
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: now and impacted fifty black people in a positive way,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: took what yo, listen, this is the knowledge that I have.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: Take this, go, take this, go, take this go, we.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: Would be out of that.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: But we spend so much time knocking ourselves down just
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: like you said, Yo, you know by another black person
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: that we was trained to do that. Bro, you might
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: not understand it. And this is what the problem is. Not
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: the problem, but the disconnect between the black experience and
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: what I would like to say, the West Indian experience,
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: the African experience here is that they programmed us to
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: move for certain ways. So what they teach y'all about
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: us over here, Yeah, they made sure that was a thing.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: They made sure that we didn't believe in each other,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: and we crabs in a barrel and all of the
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: hate shit between brown skin light skin, black skin over
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: here with us.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: We were just destroying.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: So now we got to take that same energy, change
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: it around and start being aggressively positive towards our communities.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: Our community specifically, I ain't got time for their community, But.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: What do you do when you engage with their communities?
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: Because I'm aggressively me, I'm aggressively me. You ask anybody
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: I work with mad white boys, I'm aggressively me.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: They need to respect that. It's not like I don't
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: hate no white person. I hate racism, I hate white supremacy.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: I tell them straight up, I'm a black. I'm an
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: aggressive black motherfucker. I don't hate you unless you believe
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: that you're more superior than me, my wife, my kids.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: Right yeah, And you're going.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: To impact the systems around me to make sure that
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: that's a thing. You can believe what you want, stay
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: in your fucking corner.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: And I appreciate that honestly, because I always say, you
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: teach people who you are loud like, you.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: Don't dumb down for anybody. Oh I'm bucked, and.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: I don't integrate like that.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: I don't they need I'm building up my community, my nigga,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: it ain't got nothing to do with y'all unless it's
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: a problem.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: No, seriously, well, okay, my thing is what happens when
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: you lead with that. But they if I'm not even
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: saying what that is because that could be subjective. But
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: if you lead with this and like again, I think
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: it's it's still based on our past. And so if
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: we're able to learn and have conversations with people over time,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: that shows us differently that not everybody is like that.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: How do we take again honor the past and pour
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: into our communities but also know, like, Bro, they didn't
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: some of them. Bro, they came up and there happened
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: to be white. And so how do I build again?
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: I have no idea what it's like to be a father,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: But how do I build my children up to where
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: they take what I'm saying off the pain and off
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: the true life that I've been through and not hate
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: white people Because sometimes, Bro, when I heard from people
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: growing up, it's like, dang, should I look at these niggas?
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: But then I've had experiences on teams where I have
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: to tell my best friend who's white, it's like nigga
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: certain things, and I have to walk I thought differently, man,
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: when I meet your family, they gonna and they showed
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: me differently. Not saying that's everybody, but I'm saying if
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: I'm allowed to have these experiences over time, that should
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: inform how I move.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: But that's why I said I don't have no problem
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: with white people, right. But when they see they man's
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: it's acting balked out and they step in front of
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 2: you say, yo, you ain't gonna talk to him like that.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: Who the fuck you think you are?
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: And they walk with you as a brother, then we
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: can be but they tend to hear it and laugh
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: in certain circles or ignore it. Even if you don't lie,
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: ignore it and then come be my bro. You can't
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: be my bro if you think that's funny. If you
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: don't see the effects of how I've been knocked down
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: in this country and you've been lifted up, and then
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: you want to be not bros my nigga.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: You you basically just toleranting me because you could go
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: back to your world, and I gotta go back to
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: the hood. I gotta go back to this experience. When
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: the police pull us over and they grilling me and
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: you get your little you're drunk, and you set them,
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: show them your you know, your dad's card or whatever,
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: and they let you go. But my life as a
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: basketball player is fucked up because I just caught that
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: DUI because of the color on my skin.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: You understand what I'm saying. That's when y'all use your
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: privilege to help. Then we can talk about being bros.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: Until then, I got things to do me yo. That's
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: the end of part one of this week's episode. Y'
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: know it. We couldn't people find you. We got a
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: part two coming right now.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: King No Underscrore on Instagram, Mind Belief podcasts on all platforms. Yo, y'all?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: Good? Am I yelling too much? I feel like I'm hot?
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: Should I change my shirt?
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: You're good? You do need a fan back?
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: It's the engineer man. You didn't even turn up the
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: volume room, Yo, y'all already, No, go and listen to
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: part two over on Patreon right now. We got a
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: lot going on. I'm hiring an admin. Did you'll know
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: I'm hiring an admin for the Patreon And they discored
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: we're going to rebuild the no shame game of trav
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: show back up traps pulled up. I said, what the fun?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Now, I said, I'm hiring an admin. Trap looked in like, oh,
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: now you're hiring an admin. So shout out to the
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: no Shame gang over there. Yeah, we got a lot
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: going on. I'm excited about for what's to come. We
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: will see y'all in a couple of days. I may
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: actually get on schedule again and like actually release the
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: episodes on time.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of pressure, so shameless. I'm about to say,
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: no shameless that you're gonna get the fan real quick.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: Got bro, thank you so much right for with standing
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: me yelling and and that I like it.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: You're passionate.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: I'm passionate, right, I am. And I'm proud of the
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: passion too. You know what I'm saying.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: I just like because I have these comransations with my
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: friends all the time. It's like, again, I'm I grew
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: up predominantly African American neighborhood everything being Nigerian and so,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: and it's like, how how do you honor that experience
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: but allow yourself to engage with people that don't look
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: like you again personally again, you said you differ on this,
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: but it's a spiritual thing because I've seen again even
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: like you. You know you've seen in your people. I've
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: seen it, and Bro, it's some people just don't like
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: you and they hate you and they want to