Latest / Feedbag with Nat Lauzon / Episode 13: Revisiting Stubing, Barker & The Beav (Brace Yourself)
Transcript
- Nat Lauzon: OK. Ready? Yeah. Is it recording? Yeah. OK. Hopefully. do you want to talk about Love Boat Beaver? Was there a beaver on the love boat? There was actually a lot of beaver on the love boat. Yuck, yuck, yuck, Jocularity, jocularity. Are you ready? Yeah, as I'll ever be. Hi, and welcome to Feed Bag. I'm Nat, and this is Rupert. Hi, everyone. And one more gentleman joins the fold. Oh, yes. Bolt. Hello, Bolt. Hello, Bolt. Oh, he even said hello. He gave you a little wave there. That's nice. ⁓ I want to tell you that I've been a of a time ⁓ trying to set up the equipment for this episode. ⁓ don't know what's happening in my basement or how poltergeists are in it but I'm getting shocked by all the equipment and it is randomly shutting down. So I don't know what's gonna happen but we're all here to find out. Yes, it's quite insidious. We talked about this night. because sometimes Nat and I like to watch like old TV shows. We'll just like binge the love boat. Yeah. Leave it to Beaver. ⁓ Price is Right, the Bob Barker era. Yeah. And was looking for, I was actually looking for another show and we saw, Murder, She Wrote with Angela Lansbury. said, I hate that show. I was like, ⁓ me too. I never really watched it. I watched maybe one episode or a couple of episodes. It was always on like in the background, maybe with some, I said some family function, maybe some grandmother was watching it and it was just on. And you're like, I said, have you ever watched an episode? And you said, ⁓ no. I'm like, but you hate it? How do you hate it and you've never watched an episode? then I realized I've done the same thing to a bunch of TV shows that were on for years and years and years. I never watched an episode. It's from the look of them. It is. It's like this looks dumb or yeah. This looks like it's for boring people. And what you said about ⁓ Lansbury and ⁓ murder she wrote last night was it's like they show it. And all wide eyes and crimes. And I'm like, bleh. That's what you said. I wrote it down because I was laughing so hard. That's how I describe it. That's like, that show, when it comes up, it's like, it's wide eyes and crimes. And it's like, and I found that really funny. And then I realized that there was a male equivalent to Murder She Wrote kind of, said, and we were trying to, I was trying to get her guess what the show was, but it's Matlock Andy Griffith. And that's another show that's been on or was on for years and years and years. we tried to do a few minutes of, I was like, let's do three minutes of each That's right, because we felt guilty for not giving these shows a fair chance. Yeah, so we put it on Murder, She Wrote, and then it was like. yeah, was just, all it was was wide eyes and crimes It was wide eyes and crimes, no thanks. And then, ⁓ and then you put it on Matlock, and I was like, he good hair for an old man. And then you were like, he always wears light suits. And then we're like, we're done. so I saw Leave It to Beaver on Roku or whatever and I thought, oh, this is supposed to be the most wholesome show ever made. So, and I've never watched an episode, black and white. I'm like, I want to see how wholesome this show is. So I started watching it and then I said to him, you got to watch this shit. This is the most misogynistic show I have ever seen. if want a laugh, watch old episodes of Leave To Beaver and your jaw will drop at the things you see and hear. ⁓ Cause all the kids are worried that they're going to get the shit kicked out of them by their dad. Yeah. My dad will beat me if I go home. clobber me when I go home. And it's like, just accepted that dads clobber their children. Clobber. Clobber and holler. Clobber is a great word. And, uh, mom's always in the kitchen. Always in the kitchen looking fine with her. Toight. Toight with her hair and her pearls and everything. And she's always cooking or cleaning something. Like she's always polishing silverware is June. It's just that the, say the most misogynistic and sexist things. Beaver was not getting with some girl at school and he asked his dad for advice about it. And he was like, Hey, what do you do when like, when you get in a fight with mom? ⁓ yeah, that one. Yeah. When you get a fight with mom and Ward said, well, usually I'll just. leave and go spend a couple of nights at the Y, until she comes to her senses. And then Beaver said, but what if it's like a really, really, really bad fight? And then he said, I'd probably just admit I was wrong, even though I was definitely right and buy her a gift. ⁓ Way to teach your sons how to treat the ladies. The boys are always right. Gee, thanks, Dad. Yeah. I'm going to go be a misogynistic asshole too. And remember there was an episode where ⁓ June was cooking a pot roast and she, Ward came home from work and she's in the kitchen. Of course. And she says to Ward, ⁓ honey, ⁓ dinner's going to be late tonight. He's like, why She goes, I pushed the wrong button on the stove and so it ⁓ been cooking. And then the laugh track. Ha ha ha, you stupid woman. So then in the next scene, Ward is upstairs talking to his sons about something totally different. ⁓ ⁓ No, no. Bolt ⁓ Bolt lay down. Lay down. Now you're gonna be continuity error. Continuity There's a dog here now. ⁓ What? ⁓ yeah. is in the bedroom talking to his sons ⁓ and at the end his conversation, he says, ⁓ by the way, boys, dinner's gonna be late. And they're like, ⁓ why? And he's like, your mom pushed the wrong button on the stove. And they're all like, ⁓ What a moron. Yeah. Leave it to Beaver is insanity. Please watch it. The other show that we like to watch is Love Boat, which is a terrible show and was terrible when I was growing up. it. That's one of the shows that I would never watch as a child that we talked about. Yeah. I'm like, this is garbage. I don't want to see it. And now we watch it just because why not? And we laugh. Like we what we do, Nat and I play a game is like we we just appropriate somebody's hair. Like we're watching a Love Boat episode and It's the 70s or early 80s and sometimes the hair is absolutely terrible. And it'd be like, that's my hair now. And so, and she'd be like, oh, that's my hair now for some woman on the show. And then we have to like talk to each other and imagine that we have that haircut. we're always stunned at like how old people are. Because people who we perceived as really old back in the day, we're guest stars on that show. All the like the B stars, B celebrities or whatever. And like, I remember one in particular was Tom Bosley. Tom Bosley is the actor who played the dad. The dad in Happy Days. Him. Yeah. And I remember we were like, he's got to be in his seventies or something on this show. But is he? And then we're always Googling the ages. He would he was like 48 or ⁓ I ⁓ know it's Why do people look so old? Like we don't look that old. We look that old anymore. Well, I just got some ⁓ thing came Facebook today and it was ⁓ Ryan Reynolds 49 and they had a picture of who the hell was it? Was, I think, Wilford Brimley, And it was like they were same age and they had them side by side. And it was like, there's no way these two dudes are the same age. Like what's happened? And I don't know if it's is it the way we dress? ⁓ I don't know, because I just feel like people look better now at these ages. Is that right? I think it's true. Or are we going to look as well? People look back on us in like 40 years and go, well, look how old they look. Well, obviously people are getting heavier and they're more out of shape than they ever were. people don't look better now than they did back then in general. I'm talking about young people. it seem Because everyone's more overweight and out of shape. Yes, true. there's also more access to surgery, better teeth. ⁓ Because back in the day, they could just have facelifts. ⁓ But now they have all these and ⁓ all these different things, boobies and They probably had boobies back then, but you know what I mean. So we're always Googling the ages of people we see on Love, Love, Right, we play, let's guess how old Captain Stubing was. And it's like, ⁓ my God, he's younger than you. It's like, what? Please watch The Love Boat and look at how tight Captain Stubing's shorts are. my God, Captain Stubing's moose knuckle. Captain Stubing's tubing. can see all Stubing's tubing. You can even see Gopher's gonads. And they're super high-waisted. ⁓ He's got a really long a## in that show. shade. to Gavin McLeod. It's just maybe the wardrobe people. Well, it was the time, I guess. Yeah. pants are so high-waisted and like the long fly, his fly must be like 18 inches long, fly, because the waist is like up here. Yeah. Anyway, it's just, hilarious to watch it. And the show is extremely too. With a laugh track about all that stuff. laughing. What are you guys doing? Sexual assault. ⁓ chasing women around the table. What was the one we watched? yeah, yeah, Doc. Yeah. Doc. He's just a perv. They even jokingly refer to him as the Letcher. Yeah, the Letcher. They ⁓ call a Letcher. Is it Letcher or Letch? Is Letcher the word? I think Letcher's the word and Letch is like short for Okay. So they know he's the creepy dude. He hired a nurse to help him out based on her looks. And then he was telling everybody as they were waiting for her to board the ship, like, you're to see she's really hot or whatever. And they were all like, oh, that's why you hired her. And he's like, well, yeah, you know, and it's like, what? And then she gets hired and half the friggin' episode is him trying to have sex with her. And her shutting him down. Right, and then her like offering her professional opinion as a nurse and he's like brushing it away like you're just a dumb nurse and she's getting really frustrated and there's a scene where she's forced to dance with her boss, Doc. They're dancing on the dance floor and Captain Stubing has hiccups and she knows this new technique to help Captain Stubing with his hiccups and she keeps trying to bring it up and Doc's always shutting her down like dumb woman, shut up. And then when they're dancing, literal line, I'll let you deliver it. The literal line, your lips. ⁓ You're going to need them later. Rest your lips. ⁓ You're going to need them later. Love and new. sexual assault ⁓ We're expecting lawsuits. The assault boat. mean, have we really come so far in many ways? I don't know. ⁓ We're perhaps a little overboard now, but like, ⁓ this was all TV programming that was ⁓ okay back in the day. And if you watch it from this perspective, It will blow your mind, so please just watch it. Yeah, check it out. It's fun. Yeah. Price is right. Price is right. With Bob Barker. Yeah, we we like watching the 80s era. Right. I prefer the 70s, to be honest with you. Right. OK. But whatever. I prefer the 80s because that was my pocket. That was me sick home from school, right. Lying in my parents' bed watching TV, which only had like three channels and the rest was static. And I had a bird, a cockatiel. and he would fly from my room and sit on me while I watched Price is Right in my parents' bed eating cup of soup. Okay. Yeah. I didn't have the cockatiel. ⁓ but you were in my parents' bed? I was in the closet watching you. Okay. No, I would be lying on my sofa in the basement watching TV, home from school, sick, watching Price is Right. And then they would put Diane on. Have you seen Diane? Clothing choices? I'm sure they weren't Diane's. Anyway, that's a whole other thing. And we like to look at contestants if they have an unusual name. I think you mentioned this in another podcast. We like to Facebook them sometimes and see if we can find them. Yeah, we found a few. We found one woman. who was on the show, but she had recently passed away, but she was also on Oprah. Remember that lady? Well, yes, she was on Oprah too. Because she'd been homeless at certain point with her mother or something. And they were both on Oprah, but she was also on Price is Right. We're like, that's the lady from Price is Right. Yeah, it's so wild. Yeah, it's cool to find these people on social media. And some have passed away, of course. it's also fun to see ⁓ the Yeah, we try and guess the year of the episode based on the clothes. Or the hair. Or the hair. And I'm usually pretty good at it. Yeah, you're good at it. ⁓ I'll get it within a year or two or you as well. But what kills me is the gifts and how was every did everybody have a grandfather clock in the 80s? Because we didn't. But everybody on the price right. Got a grandfather clock or they got a trash compactor. Yeah. I don't think I've ever actually seen in anyone's house. No, ⁓ saw it. But it always had the wooden top, is yes, the fake very coveted chopping board. ⁓ Yeah. cutting board top ⁓ the globe that was a bar. Yep. That always be the bar that was a globe. Yeah. You even have the drinks inside it. Yeah. Yeah. And they'd always have a horrible carpet. Carpets always horrible. The bed room sets are horrible. And it's always one of the one of the Bob's beauties on the bed. Yeah. And there's always a baker's rack made out of brass. Brass. Big on brass. Big on brass. the other thing about Price is Right is some of the products are like, yeah, really strange brand names. ⁓ Hydrox cookies we kept seeing as one of the small prizes and we're like, what a terrible name, Hydrox ⁓ Barf, I don't want to Sounds like a cleaning product. And then you look up online. And they still exist, you can get them on Amazon and they're... They're Oreos basically, but they're like an off-brand Oreo and some people like them better. They have a slightly different taste. But they were the precursor to Oreos. Yeah, I think they were first. And then Oreo kind of stole that and got a better name. But Hydrox- got left in the dust. And how electronics are so expensive because they're new. Yeah. Crazy expensive. It's like a VCR. Here's $1400. What? It's like some, I don't know, some TV with like a built-in VCR or something was like, I don't know, astronomical prices. And you realize now prices have come down for a lot of stuff, especially electronics. but some of the stuff is sort of on par-ish still, but cars were so cheap. they were like 5,000 bucks, 7,000 bucks. ⁓ Cars the 80s were fricking ugly, man. They were pretty square. They're all boxy and ugly. I think that's cause of the... gas crisis in like 1976 or 78, whenever it was. And then they all started making really small cars. ⁓ that was then, okay. of the response to the gas shortages in the 70s or whatever. But they all came every day. then, yeah, so all the pickup truck, like a pickup truck last night on prices. It tiny, tiny. It the tiny pickup truck. The pickup truck last night. You mean last night, 40 years ago? Yeah, last night in 1982 or whatever it was. and they all came with California emission. With California emission, yeah, I didn't know what that was as a kid and I still don't know, but I think it's a state law about the emissions standards. I come with California emissions. Do you? You definitely come with emissions. Yeah, that's for another episode. I'm farting a lot these days. ⁓ you want to talk about that? Well, I don't know what crawled up in me and died, but It's not those kind of farts. is, I... They're not born of shit, as you They're not. That's what I always tell them. That's what I always tell him Like if a fart slips out, I'll be like, don't worry. It's not She knows in advance if her farts will stink or not. I don't know when I do that. you don't always know, but my track record is pretty good. Oh yeah. No, you know, you're like, this one won't stink. And I'll be like... How can you guarantee a non-stink? You're like, it's not born of shit. I'll be like, ⁓ okay. Yeah, but all of my farts now are really born of air and I have so much gas. And I think it's a perimenopause thing. I hate to blame everything on perimenopause, but I'm gonna, and I think my farts are peri. Why was I so mad about it? You're really emphatic. I think my farts are peri like, what are you supposed to do about it? and I gotta say something. You're like, ⁓ I don't know. I didn't know you before peri Anyway, there. Okay. Now we all know. Stubing's tubing Gophers gonads. Gophers gonads. Yeah, so, it, but it's fun to watch. It's really fun to watch because you, you just can't believe what you're watching. It's entertaining. Even though you think it won't be, it is. Yeah. ⁓ And on they never say because it's always on account of. I've never heard them say because on Leave It To Beaver. It's We're still waiting for- It might be done, it's shit now. ⁓ maybe it died. That's good way to stop us. Plug it in. ⁓ Don't get zapped. it's still going? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said that I was being shocked by the equipment in here and I didn't know how long... things were gonna last while everything just shut down by itself. So we're gonna do a real quick exit before we can't record anymore. Okay, Maria Bamford. Thanks for being on my podcast. Maybe it's just our podcast now. No, it's your podcast. well thanks. It's nothing to do with me. You make it Thank you. And thank you. And thank you. Please like or comment or follow. It really helps the podcast grow. And thank you for joining us on Feed-A-Bag. Could this be my like new cool signature? Your sign to somebody out there? Yeah, like not like Carol Burnett. This is Hang Loose loose, isn't it? Hang loose? Yeah, but it's also like me. I knew a guy like a long time ago who gave himself the name Ghost. Lame. You can't give yourself a nickname. Maybe his friends called him ghost. I don't know, but there was something ghost about him Was he dead? No. ⁓ No, no, it wasn't. ⁓ But I remember would always do this. That was his sign? That was his thing. always be doing this like, ⁓ bing. ⁓ So you want to, you want do move. That's ghost This is a surfer move. Yeah, there's a surfer. It's for surfers. Ghost did it, too. I don't know. Maybe he's going to see this and ⁓ beat the shit out of me. ⁓ It's OK, Ghost. It's offense. I just remember you did I remember you. Right. Right. maybe he'd be happy that you did it because you're like, maybe I'm spreading the word. Yeah, the word. ⁓ means something. Can we go? Yeah. Before this shuts again. It's not gonna, it's I enjoyed our conversation and I hope you did too. Thanks for joining us on... Feed bag! Da da da!