Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Alignment for the Assignment: Stop Fighting the Steering Wheel
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
- 0:07learning and living your full experience.
- 0:12I'm your host, Coach C, and this is Season 6, Episode 6, Alignment for the Assignment.
- 0:20Listen, many of us are walking around here not understanding the assignment of our lives.
- 0:28I don't mean the assignment somebody else gave you. I don't mean what your mama wanted you to become.
- 0:34I don't mean what your family expected.
- 0:37I don't mean what social media told you success should look like.
- 0:41I don't mean the position somebody decided you should occupy because it was convenient for them.
- 0:48I'm talking about your assignment.
- 0:52It is my earnest belief that we are all created with a purpose and for a purpose.
- 0:58That there is something uniquely placed inside each and every one of us that
- 1:04we are supposed to contribute while we're here.
- 1:08But life, baby, life be lifing.
- 1:13We experience disappointment, we experience relationships, responsibilities,
- 1:20rejection, loss, fear, failure, survival.
- 1:26And sometimes we're so busy dealing with everything life is placed in front
- 1:32of us that we lose sight of what was placed inside of us.
- 1:37And before you know it, we're moving, we're working, we're accomplishing,
- 1:43we're doing all the things, but we're not necessarily aligned.
- 1:49You can be moving and still be misaligned.
- 1:52Have you ever driven a vehicle that needed an alignment?
- 1:56Then baby, you know. You're trying to drive straight, but the car keeps pulling.
- 2:02You're holding the steering wheel one way while the vehicle is trying to go another.
- 2:08And you're sitting there fighting the steering wheel the entire time.
- 2:13Now here's what's interesting. The car is still moving.
- 2:17It can still get you somewhere, but you're working harder to keep it on course.
- 2:23The tires are wearing unevenly. The ride isn't as smooth.
- 2:28And if you ignored the problem long enough, that little alignment issue can
- 2:33start affecting other things.
- 2:36Now tell me that doesn't sound like life.
- 2:40Because some of us are moving, but we're pulling. We're accomplishing, but we're exhausted.
- 2:48We're showing up, but something feels off.
- 2:52And sometimes we assume we're tired because we're doing too much.
- 2:57Sometimes we're tired because we're doing too much that doesn't belong to us.
- 3:03Phew, misalignment has a cost.
- 3:07Listen, misalignment doesn't always announce itself dramatically.
- 3:13Sometimes it whispers.
- 3:16It looks like constantly forcing something that no longer fits.
- 3:21It looks like repeatedly shrinking yourself to remain somewhere you've outgrown.
- 3:27It looks like saying yes while everything inside you is screaming no.
- 3:32It looks like succeeding at something that does not fulfill you.
- 3:37It looks like spending years climbing a ladder only to realize,
- 3:43baby, this ladder is leaning against the wrong building.
- 3:48And that is why alignment matters. Because becoming on purpose isn't simply about becoming more.
- 3:57It's about becoming who you were created to be.
- 4:02You don't need to become everything. You need to become you.
- 4:07What is the assignment? Now, somebody might be listening saying,
- 4:11Coach C, that sounds good, but I don't know my assignment.
- 4:16Fair, because I don't believe everybody wakes up one morning and receives a
- 4:20heavenly power presentation titled Your Purpose, Here's the Plan.
- 4:27Most of us discover purpose and pieces through experiences, through gifts,
- 4:33through things that burden our hearts, through things that excite us,
- 4:38through problems we naturally want to solve, through people we're naturally
- 4:42drawn to help, through doors that keep opening, and yes, sometimes through doors that keep closing.
- 4:50Your assignment may evolve, its expression may change, your title may change, Your career may change.
- 4:58Your environment may change.
- 5:01But there are often threads that have been running through your life for years.
- 5:06Pay attention to the threads. What keeps calling you? What are you naturally gifted to do?
- 5:13What have you survived that equipped you to serve somebody else?
- 5:17What can you talk about for hours? Where do people consistently seek your help?
- 5:24What gives you that feeling of, this matters to me?
- 5:29Those things deserve your attention.
- 5:32Because becoming on purpose requires alignment for the assignment.
- 5:39And I believe there are three things we need to get here.
- 5:43Awareness, action, aim.
- 5:48One, awareness. You cannot align what you refuse to acknowledge.
- 5:53First, you have to know where you are.
- 5:56Before a mechanic can correct an alignment, there has to be an assessment.
- 6:00What's pulling? What's uneven? What's off?
- 6:04And we need that same assessment in our lives. Where am I right now?
- 6:09Not where I plan to be. Not where people think I am.
- 6:14Not where I pretend to be. Where am I really?
- 6:18Am I fulfilled? Am I growing?
- 6:21Am I operating from purpose or pressure?
- 6:24Am I making choices because they align with who I'm becoming?
- 6:28Or because I'm afraid to disappoint people?
- 6:32Am I still committed to something simply because I've already invested years in it?
- 6:39Awareness requires honesty. And sometimes honesty is uncomfortable.
- 6:46Because awareness may reveal that the thing you've been blaming for your frustration
- 6:52isn't actually the problem.
- 6:55Sometimes you've been ignoring what you already know.
- 6:58Sometimes you knew that relationship was no longer aligned.
- 7:02You knew that habit wasn't aligned. You knew that environment wasn't aligned.
- 7:08You knew that version of yourself wasn't aligned.
- 7:11But awareness doesn't condemn you, awareness gives you information and information
- 7:18gives you an opportunity to choose differently.
- 7:22Two, action. Awareness without action is just information. Now,
- 7:28this is where we get stuck.
- 7:30Because baby, we know.
- 7:33We know what needs to change. We know what we've been procrastinating.
- 7:38We know what conversation needs to happen.
- 7:40We know what boundary needs to be established. We know what application needs to be submitted.
- 7:47We know what idea needs to be started. it, we know what habit needs to stop.
- 7:52At some point, you have to stop saying, I know, I know, I know,
- 7:58and do something with what you know,
- 8:01because awareness without action will leave you standing in the exact same place
- 8:07with a better explanation of why you're there.
- 8:11Listen, becoming on purpose requires movement, and action doesn't always have to be huge.
- 8:20Sometimes alignment starts with one decision,
- 8:24one phone call, one application, one boundary, one class, one hour, one saved dollar,
- 8:35one uncomfortable conversation, one no, one yes, one step.
- 8:42You don't have to overhaul your entire life by Friday, but you do need to demonstrate
- 8:47through your actions that you believe your assignment deserves your participation.
- 8:54And three aim movement isn't enough you need direction now this one right here
- 9:01because you can have awareness,
- 9:03you can take action and still end up somewhere you never intended to be if your aim is off,
- 9:12remember our vehicle you can press that accelerator all the way to the floor
- 9:17but if you're pointed in the wrong direction you're just getting to the wrong destination faster.
- 9:24So where are you aiming? What are your decisions building toward?
- 9:28What is your yes building toward?
- 9:31What is your no protecting? What is your discipline preparing you for?
- 9:37What does the person you're becoming need from the person you are today?
- 9:42Because aim requires intentionality.
- 9:46I don't just want movement. I want meaningful movement.
- 9:50I don't just want opportunities. I want opportunities that align with the assignment.
- 9:57I don't just want relationships. I want relationships that align with the assignment.
- 10:04I don't just want money i want my resources aligned with the assignment,
- 10:10i don't just want success i want success that doesn't require me to abandon
- 10:16myself to achieve it that's alignment,
- 10:20some things are good but not your assignment and listen closely everything that
- 10:27comes your way isn't bad.
- 10:29Some opportunities are good. Some people are good.
- 10:34Some ideas are good. Some invitations are good and still not be for you. That's maturity.
- 10:43Because when you're becoming on purpose, the question can no longer simply be, can I do this?
- 10:51The question becomes, does this align with where I'm going.
- 10:57Because I can do a whole lot of things. That doesn't mean I should.
- 11:01Your capacity is not your obligation.
- 11:05Let me say that again. Your capacity is not an obligation.
- 11:11Just because you can carry it doesn't mean it belongs in your hands.
- 11:16Just because you're good at it doesn't automatically make it your assignment.
- 11:21Just because somebody needs you doesn't mean you are assigned to save them.
- 11:27And every yes costs you something.
- 11:31Time, energy, attention, focus, resources.
- 11:36So becoming on purpose means I become much more intentional about where those things go.
- 11:44Stop fighting the steering wheel.
- 11:47Some of us have spent years fighting the steering wheel of our lives.
- 11:51Trying to make something go straight that keeps pulling. Trying to force ourselves
- 11:56into places we no longer fit.
- 11:59Trying to resurrect seasons that already ended.
- 12:02Trying to remain loyal to versions of ourselves we've already outgrown.
- 12:08And we're wondering why everything feels so hard.
- 12:13Maybe you don't need to push harder. Maybe you need an alignment.
- 12:18Maybe it's time to stop asking, how can I make this work?
- 12:22And start asking, does this still belong in the life I'm becoming?
- 12:27Because sometimes becoming on purpose requires a realignment.
- 12:34And realignment isn't failure. Realignment is correction. You aren't necessarily starting over.
- 12:41You're staring differently because you know differently. Right?
- 12:45Purpose doesn't require perfection. And please hear me here.
- 12:50Alignment doesn't mean your life suddenly becomes perfect.
- 12:54It doesn't mean everything becomes easy. It doesn't mean there won't be detours.
- 12:59It doesn't mean you won't make mistakes.
- 13:02And it certainly doesn't mean you'll always understand what God is doing while he's doing it.
- 13:09Sometimes you won't understand the assignment until you're already in it.
- 13:13But alignment says, I'm willing to keep checking my direction. I'm willing to pray.
- 13:19I'm willing to listen. I'm willing to learn.
- 13:23I'm willing to adjust. I'm willing to release.
- 13:27I'm willing to move because I would rather make an adjustment than spend another
- 13:32five years traveling confidently in the wrong direction,
- 13:37because becoming on purpose, my sweet babies, you were created with purpose.
- 13:43You were created for purpose.
- 13:46And becoming on purpose means your life cannot simply be a collection of things that happen to you.
- 13:53At some point, you have to decide what you're building.
- 13:57At some point, you have to become intentional about where you're going.
- 14:01At some point, you have to get your life aligned for the assignment.
- 14:07Awareness tells me where I am.
- 14:10Action determines what I do next. Aim reminds me where I'm going.
- 14:16Remember, awareness, action, aim.
- 14:21And when those three start working together, baby, now we're not just moving.
- 14:27We're moving on purpose.
- 14:30Here's your fearless homework, the alignment check.
- 14:33This week, we're doing an alignment check. I want you to choose one area of
- 14:38your life, your career, relationships, your finances, your health, your faith.
- 14:45Your business, your family, even your personal development.
- 14:50Whatever area has been pulling on your steering wheel lately,
- 14:54then answer these three questions.
- 14:57One, awareness. What's all?
- 15:00Ask yourself, what currently feels misaligned with the person I'm becoming?
- 15:06Don't judge your answer. Just tell yourself the truth. Write it down.
- 15:122. Action. What needs to move?
- 15:15Mel asks, what is one action I can take this week to create better alignment? Not someday.
- 15:23Not when circumstances are perfect. This week.
- 15:27Make the call. set the boundary, start the application, create the plan,
- 15:33have the conversation, schedule the appointment, take the first step.
- 15:393. Aim. Where am I actually going?
- 15:44Finally, finish this sentence. The person I am becoming is building a life that...
- 15:52And complete it don't describe what you're escaping describe what you're aiming
- 15:58toward then look at the decisions you're making right now and ask
- 16:02do my current choices point in that direction because that's the real alignment check,
- 16:09and if they don't no shame no beating yourself up realign turn the wheel adjust the direction
- 16:19make the next decision differently because you cannot become on purpose while
- 16:25living permanently on autopilot,
- 16:28listen understand the assignment get aligned and go,
- 16:35awareness action aim because when you know where you are you're willing to move
- 16:42and you're clear about where you're headed, you aren't just existing.
- 16:47You aren't just accomplishing. You aren't just busy.
- 16:51You're becoming on purpose.
- 16:54Listen, this is real talk for real life. As always, continue to live fearless.
- 17:01Keep learning. Keep living.
- 17:03This is real talk for real life where everyone is always learning and you're
- 17:09living your full experience.
- 17:12Make sure to follow me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
- 17:20For more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
- 17:25This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.