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BLOW JOBS, PUSSY EATING AND SOME NEW EXPERIENCES · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:09
All right. So this call, this caller called
0:12
me at 3:15 in the morning. So we're going to call him real
0:14
quick. You ready?
0:15
Yeah, OK, babe. Absolutely.
0:18
So welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:20
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia. And as you've already heard,
0:23
that was Charles, Charles in the background with me, and he's
0:27
come to the mic today as well as Kylie.
0:32
Hi, Kinky. Kylie.
0:34
All right, so let's call this motherfucker.
0:36
Call me at 3:15 in the morning, shall we?
0:44
The subscriber you are trying to reach is not available.
0:46
Please leave your message after the tone.
0:49
Oh, I was hoping I could wake you up.
0:52
I mean, you did call me 12 hours ago, so I thought, well, why
0:54
not? I'd give you a call and
0:56
hopefully I could wake you up as well.
0:58
That was special. You're a.
1:00
Douchebag. Have a wonderful day.
1:02
That was charming. Wasn't it charming little
1:05
batshit little fuck? Well I had some fucker on pet
1:08
life contact me at 5:45 on Easter Sunday to meet at a truck
1:12
stop. That was the second message ever
1:15
I. Remember you.
1:16
Didn't get a response. What the fuck, dude?
1:20
Just come celebrate Jesus and suck my Dick.
1:24
The first, the first message ever, was.
1:27
Pull on up and suck my big what is she said he has.
1:34
Risen. Oh it's 5:45 Sunday morning,
1:40
meet me at a truck stop. I'm thinking fuck off.
1:45
We live in a very rural area. It was an hour and a half to go
1:50
to a truck stop and I this is the second message I've ever had
1:53
with this person. So no, he didn't get a response.
1:56
Idiot. The first one was you need to
1:58
pull up on my yard and suck on my Dick and my and my response
2:01
was hello. And then a week later the next
2:05
message was meet me at the truck stop.
2:07
So he didn't get a response. When I get messages like that, I
2:11
respond back with, hey, why don't you call your mom?
2:14
She did it for me last week. She was.
2:15
Free. Nice.
2:18
That's funny, I get messages all the time from different people
2:21
for different things at sometimes I get Subs, sometimes
2:24
I get Dom's. It varies from day-to-day.
2:27
Sometimes they're really sweet a short and sometimes they're just
2:29
very vulgar and it's just sometimes I get a response,
2:32
sometimes they don't. I have one that texted me on and
2:37
off for like 3 1/2 weeks and he's like, he wanted me to come
2:43
over. He was a sub.
2:44
He wanted me to come over and let him rub me down and then eat
2:50
me out and then put a popsicle in my ass and eat the popsicle
2:54
out of my ass basically. It was an interesting one which
3:00
but I don't know this dude. I'm very, very, very weary of
3:04
men, especially being alone with them without someone there.
3:08
I know it. So I was like no.
3:09
And for three weeks I told this man no.
3:12
And for three weeks he continued to try to talk to me.
3:14
Eventually I was like, do you just like being rejected?
3:17
And he was like, by who? And I'm like apparently by me
3:19
because I've told you I'm a lesbian for like 3 Times Now and
3:22
you have not left me alone. He goes and that was the last
3:24
contact I got for him for a while.
3:26
And then I posted a picture from my time with my last play
3:30
partner. We did a, we did a free youth
3:32
scene and I posted that and he was like, man, I wish I could
3:36
have been me. And I'm like, leave me alone.
3:39
You probably just have to block him.
3:41
I did eventually block him because I was tired of answering
3:44
him but. The popsicle on ass.
3:45
That's interesting. That was what he wanted.
3:47
He wanted me to come over, get dressed.
3:48
He didn't want to get undressed, like he didn't want me to touch
3:51
him or anything like that. He just wanted to eat me out and
3:53
then he wanted to put a popsicle mask and eat it out of my ass,
3:56
like let it melt into his mouth. Interesting.
3:59
It could be a little dangerous because it's cold and it's icy.
4:02
Them they always put the ice cube in someone's ass if they
4:05
pass out, you know, it just could be a little dangerous.
4:08
Good ice cubes in a pussy and over the ass.
4:10
Yeah. I've done.
4:12
I've never put ice inside of somebody, but I've had ice put
4:16
inside my vagina before. Like in the military, if you
4:19
pass out, heat exhaustion, stroke, whatever.
4:22
Not stroke, but heat exhaustion. Heat stroke.
4:24
You'll put an ice cube in your asshole.
4:26
Yeah. That's what we did, Nick.
4:28
We didn't do anything else. Well, I was Air Force, Navy.
4:31
I don't know. They did that different in the
4:34
Air Force, but apparently in the Army they put an ice, no.
4:39
No, we put it on the neck where the carotid artery is, Yes.
4:42
No, we don't do the other one. Air Force was not.
4:48
And grabbing drawers in the Air Force.
4:50
Yeah, I think we played different reindeer games about
4:55
that game. Play fun ice.
4:56
The game our associate was talking about today?
4:59
What the hell was the name of that?
5:03
Oh, it was the flying flame flying of the flaming assholes.
5:11
Flaming assholes. Flaming assholes, yeah.
5:13
They put toilet paper in a butt cheek, they ignite it, and then
5:17
they run to a water hose as fast as they can.
5:18
Yes, correct. OK.
5:20
And he described getting burned. Yes.
5:23
OK. Yeah, we don't.
5:24
And This is why women live longer than men.
5:27
That's a British thing, yeah. Yeah, it was a Royal Marine.
5:30
Yeah, good Lord. But you get bored, you come up
5:32
with shit to do. But good God, I never thought of
5:35
that. That's not that's not on my list
5:36
to do. Now my dad lit curtains on fire,
5:40
lighting his farts on fire, absolutely, and caught the
5:44
curtain on fire. Wow, you got to be careful.
5:47
He is classy. Yeah, classy and also known as.
5:52
Stupid, I would have done it when I was 20.
5:55
Yeah. But he.
5:56
Was in his 20s. No.
5:58
Well, the problem with outdoors is wind, yeah.
6:03
There's not as many flammable things around.
6:06
You, I don't know, trees are pretty flammable, I mean.
6:10
You're talking about. All of them Ever looked in your
6:11
yard, but that is a forest fire you're doing.
6:14
By the pool. I guess we could do the
6:18
experiment. Yeah, do the experiment.
6:20
Well, somebody can. I don't know, Barbie, you'd do
6:23
it. Oh, 1000%.
6:25
Well, she like she ignited well Barbie.
6:27
Breathes fire and she, she's incredible.
6:30
Yeah, with fire. Or she's breathe fire on
6:32
somebody's Dick yet? She needs to.
6:34
You want to volunteer again for that?
6:36
I don't. Want to play with Fire or her
6:37
anymore? She had to put me out with her
6:39
fist last time. You missed that.
6:43
Time we. Missed that?
6:45
They set my junk on fire and nobody discussed who was going
6:49
to put me out, so Mia yells at her to put it out, Barbie.
6:53
So she punched me in the ball. God I love Barbie.
7:03
And we'll get some chains though.
7:05
Your friends have got your back. That's the difference right
7:08
there. All right, so you're saying
7:10
about Barbie? I've only met Barbie two or
7:14
three times, but in all the times that I've met her, she's
7:18
she's been a blast. Be around all the stories I
7:20
hear, though. The stories make her so much
7:21
better. Just it's great.
7:23
It's good, great like. So funny thing, so Barbie and I,
7:28
yesterday, we had this little thing going.
7:30
So the two people that we both play with, she plays with
7:35
someone completely separate than I do, but we both have little
7:38
play partners on the side, right?
7:40
They have the same name. And so she said, you know, John
7:44
Doe. She said, this is maybe John Doe
7:46
Day for Barbie and me and the dungeon.
7:49
And she's like, God only knows how it's going to go for both of
7:51
us. And I said, yeah, no kidding.
7:53
Well, mine went weird, but it was fun ultimately in the end.
7:58
And then Barbie's was, she came in at 7:00 at night and she
8:02
didn't leave until 1:00 in the morning.
8:05
Nice. And they kind of went back and
8:07
forth indoor, outside, I mean inside, outdoor, you know, kind
8:11
of can't even talk right now. Inside.
8:13
Outside. It's outside.
8:15
Thank you, senility. Here we go.
8:18
I'm right there with you. See now, Well, mine is.
8:22
You're probably behind me. I don't want a Walker, Charles.
8:25
I don't want one either, but life just fucking sucks.
8:31
I want like a throne chair. What?
8:33
People just push me around? Well, you can, you know, you can
8:35
arrange that. I could.
8:36
It sort of pushes me around. It's going to be in a fucking
8:38
box. Or I could ride on the back of
8:40
one of my little slaves. Kylie Sugar had a real, you
8:43
know, like, yeah, you're going to push your own in a box.
8:45
You don't have slaves carrying you.
8:47
I don't have like, you know, yes, guys with a white coat.
8:51
I will say this, that my niece, my eldest niece, she's ladder
8:55
30s, she's almost 40 now. And I told her, I said via text,
8:59
I said, Chelsea, listen, the great thing about being a woman
9:03
and getting older is a woman doesn't need money to get a
9:07
younger man because younger men always want an older woman.
9:11
But older men, they always got to have money to rake in a
9:15
younger woman there. You're going to have something.
9:17
You got to have something and I told her, I said you're
9:19
beautiful, you got big hot titties and you're still sexy.
9:24
So you just keep going with that.
9:26
You won't need anything else. She's got a hot husband, so good
9:30
for him. But outside of that, I'm just
9:33
saying it's kind of funny. But yeah, Barbie, she'd go
9:36
inside, outside, inside, outside.
9:39
But they, they were having a lot of fun, I'm assuming because
9:42
they stayed quite some time. And it was funny because here I
9:45
was in bed and the doorbell rings and it's DoorDash, right?
9:50
Yes. And they said, oh, this is an
9:54
order for such and such. And I said, I don't know anyone
9:57
by that name, you know? And I was thinking, did mine
10:01
order that? I don't know.
10:03
It's weird. No.
10:05
And so all of a sudden, I was like, hold on.
10:10
Oh, it's for Barbie and her friend.
10:14
And it was a bottle of champagne.
10:22
Good for her. Right, that's hot so.
10:25
We need I need to ask you about baby Tay.
10:28
Oh, yes. Can we do the baby Tay in the
10:31
adult baby on the next episode? Yeah, sure.
10:34
Because this one, I'm going to tell you a story.
10:37
All right? OK, We're talking about Barbie
10:39
and then the champagne. So it correlated back to
10:42
something that happened in the dungeon Now see you both eat
10:46
pussy I'm sure, yes. Like absolutely like, like, like
10:49
a pro, like champion. Ollie here is if she'll let me.
10:52
Right I. Know that's what I'm saying?
10:54
Like fucking champs. Pretty good at it.
10:56
So. I won't quit.
10:59
Right, he's real. Pretty, he's going.
11:01
Yes. Anyway, I've been telling Kylie
11:03
I'm like, Kylie, you need to let Charles go down on you.
11:06
I won't. Quit.
11:07
So I know, right? I love it.
11:09
I love his ambition too. It's great.
11:13
That'll. Be gentle, you know anyway.
11:17
Or not, It depends on what the person likes.
11:19
Yes. Don't lie gentle and that's OK.
11:22
I follow directions. OK.
11:24
So ultimately, I will say that. Let's see.
11:29
What are we talking about? Champagne.
11:31
Wow. We got off, all three of us got
11:33
off on pussy. I know we're just so.
11:36
Champagne in a dungeon. Yes.
11:38
OK, so I had this couple and they're like, hey, Mia, can you
11:41
have some bulls come over and fuck my wife?
11:45
Now, I've told a couple different stories, so I don't
11:47
know if you've heard this one or not, OK?
11:49
I've heard one. Yeah, OK.
11:51
You both are thinking probably the same one because I
11:53
automatically I think champagne and I think stinky pussy.
11:58
We're all thinking the same one all right.
11:59
OK. All right, I don't know if I
12:01
told the story on the podcast before, but ultimately this
12:05
woman and her husband comes in and she pretty much just throws
12:08
her clothes off on the floor. Like no big deal, Didn't dress
12:11
up, didn't look sexy. It was just she's doing this, no
12:14
clothes on. And she kind of has an odd
12:17
shaped body. Like she's not fat, she's not
12:19
skinny, but she's got this long body, torso with short legs.
12:24
Just really. Misproportion.
12:25
Yeah, it's kind of off. It's weird anyway, not that
12:29
attractive, but me and she's willing participant.
12:32
So I said, oh, OK, I know four guys.
12:34
Hey guys, you want to come over and just fuck this wife?
12:36
Hot wife. Her husband just wants to watch.
12:39
And they're like, Oh yeah, we're down.
12:41
And ultimately first guy goes in and he's he's one of those he
12:47
loves eating pussy. He's just great.
12:49
He's got a great attitude. And he goes in and I'm sitting
12:53
by the pool with Bree. Now, Bree is one of those I, she
12:57
doesn't like to eat pussy. She's not all about it, but she
13:01
would do it if she's forced to do it.
13:02
That's the great thing about Bree, right?
13:04
So we're sitting out there and the first guy comes out our good
13:07
friend and he's like, listen, I don't know if you all could
13:10
smell it, but I could smell it as soon as I went in there.
13:14
And I'm like, really? Is she?
13:16
Does she have stinky pussy? And he's like, it's bad I.
13:18
Feel his pain. Yeah, he's like, I try to put
13:20
champagne on it just to like, kill it.
13:22
If alcohol goes on it, just stay the fuck away from it.
13:25
Yeah, my personal philosophy. Yeah.
13:27
And he's like, no, it was worse. It made it worse.
13:30
It didn't help. Damn.
13:31
Yeah. It activated all the bacteria.
13:33
I or the yeast or whatever the fuck was in there.
13:36
Boom. Anyway, so it was bad.
13:38
So then the second guy, he comes out and he's a rock star.
13:44
He's he's a great guy. He's one of those, I'm all about
13:47
it. He's like, yeah, it's like, I
13:50
can't do it, can't do it, can't do it.
13:53
Anyway, third guy, same thing. And ultimately the fourth guy
13:59
put it in. He wouldn't go down on her.
14:02
He went in there, knocked out his nut and he left.
14:04
He's like, thanks, deuces. But then the couple started
14:09
fucking and I'm like, OK, he's used to her funk.
14:11
Like, I mean, and we went in there and it was like being
14:14
slapped in the face. Damn.
14:16
It was bad. It was really bad.
14:17
I've I've had those experiences. I've never, ever, ever like
14:22
that. Ever.
14:23
I mean, I've gone in that dungeon and I have smelled, you
14:25
know, shit from a bad strap on gone wrong.
14:28
But that was next level and Brie and I were like, Oh my God.
14:31
That's like diseased at that point, yeah.
14:34
Or this is completely unwashed? Yes.
14:37
So The funny thing of it was a family member of mine made
14:41
friends with these people at a party and I was like, OK, well,
14:46
just to forewarn you, if you decide to swap with your
14:49
boyfriend, I don't call her by her name, but her name is stinky
14:53
pussy to me. And she's like what?
14:57
She's like, why would you be like that?
14:59
And I'm like, I'm just telling you.
15:01
You going to find out bitch? I'm just saying if you're going
15:04
to play with her, you need to be warned.
15:06
I'm doing you, you know, a favor.
15:08
You can talk when he wants. You go down on her and you're
15:11
like, oh God, I can't do it, but you don't want to hurt your
15:13
feelings. Yes.
15:14
No, we'll come up with any fucking excuse in the world not
15:17
to, because I cannot do it. Exactly.
15:19
Now the extreme cases. Exactly.
15:23
Anyway, yeah. Extreme cases.
15:25
Got some trauma? I know.
15:28
Kylie's over here looking. What are you people talking?
15:30
About now. Kylie has mentioned this before.
15:33
She's Are you just owning out? No, she's.
15:37
Listening, listening. I think she's allured about it.
15:40
Word stinky pussy, no disagreements.
15:44
She's not into it. You know, she has said.
15:47
She's like, you know, there's women that have their own odors
15:49
and their own smells. That's OK.
15:51
Yeah, they get it. Everybody's got their own brew,
15:53
but then there's funk and there's like, Oh my God, nature
15:56
telling us to run away. Yes, that's what we're talking
15:59
about. And that's if you smell
16:01
something that horrible outside where maggots are crawling
16:03
around on it, you fucking run. You don't eat it.
16:05
So. So we've reset 17 mark.
16:09
When we get back, I want to hear how you all eat pussy.
16:14
Tell you a story about how you go down.
16:17
Exactly. Well, let's go under Dad.
16:19
All right, on that note, kids, we're getting ready to go see
16:22
Guy on Guy. We ready?
16:24
Sure. Yeah.
16:25
Charles. All right, so we're back from
16:27
Charles sucking Dick. That was exciting.
16:30
Kylie and I enjoyed it immensely.
16:33
So I'm sorry about the music choices.
16:37
Yeah, that. Was and relaxing, you know, but
16:41
then you know it just went. Well, I just didn't fit.
16:44
It didn't fit. Was it Missus Robinson as I'm
16:47
trying to balance myself in front of a Barber chair?
16:51
Well, some dude that was really rethinking his life choices and
16:55
that song comes on and I got a mouthful of black Dick going.
16:58
This. No, I was trying to signal me to
17:00
please shut it off. It was great though.
17:03
Well, at least you got Yes, I'm glad you entertained yourself.
17:06
It was great. It was funny because you started
17:07
doing your hand to like get us to change the music of both me
17:10
and look at each other like what's wrong I.
17:12
Was like, does he want to take a picture like?
17:15
Please get ready to point my ear like, yeah, because I was trying
17:18
to. Constantly the guy was like, he
17:20
wants you to change the music. And I was like, oh.
17:22
He figured it out, yeah. We were, we were just staring
17:24
actually like. That was fun.
17:27
Stop wanting me though. Yeah, that was fun.
17:32
Poor guy. So OK, I've watched your oral
17:35
skills for both of you today and it's interesting.
17:39
Some major or blowjobs today the day watching blowjobs for you.
17:44
A lot longer than I would have thought, yeah.
17:47
Yes, Yeah, they were long, yes. Yeah man, my jaw was sore after
17:51
that shit. And you know, I was thinking,
17:53
Charles, you're getting payback because Kylie worked extra hard
17:56
on your Dick today. That's OK.
17:58
And that's payback for for the freaking forever.
18:01
Completely fair you didn't have to unhand your jaw cause ohh
18:04
yeah well he's bigger than me. Yeah, he he was a nice size and
18:09
it was interesting when he got hard it kind of swelled up more
18:13
so on the end than it did even like the middle or the top.
18:16
Well, the base was thick. Yeah, OK.
18:21
That condom must have been just. It was too tight for him.
18:24
Yeah, I tried to put the first one on the flavor one.
18:26
It wouldn't go over the tip. Yeah.
18:28
So I'm glad I bought a Magnum. I had to.
18:30
I always bring an extra 1 because you never can't tell.
18:32
Yeah. Anyway, Yep, this isn't going to
18:34
work. So I went and got the Magnum out
18:36
and even I had trouble putting that fucker on for a second.
18:39
So he was sitting, he was sitting in there in the chair
18:41
and he's grinding. Ultimately after the 1st 15
18:44
minutes he starts grinding and humping a little bit and I'm
18:46
like OK he. Was tensing up way before then.
18:49
Yeah. 100% and it's like he wanted to touch but he obviously
18:53
felt weird touching. Uncomfortable.
18:56
I think that was his first time with a guy.
18:58
Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely.
19:00
He was a champ. No, he took it.
19:02
Yeah, I kept seeing his hands go like he didn't.
19:05
Stop. Yeah, I know he wanted the
19:06
greater back of my head. I saw it and I'm like, that's a
19:08
natural guy thing, but he's like, Oh no bro, I can't do
19:12
this. I know what that was.
19:14
It was a How to handle this it? Was like me I was when we were
19:19
doing our thing. I have my hand behind my back
19:21
because you didn't want anybody touching your head.
19:23
But that's the guy thing. It's almost like reflex and it's
19:26
not a control thing. It's just like we're fucking
19:28
used to it, you know? Yeah, the God, I didn't want it
19:31
because I was, you know, I didn't want the control aspect.
19:33
Yes. And I remember you talking about
19:35
that because you didn't want, you wanted to be the one that
19:37
control, right? But I get that.
19:39
But it's like you're overriding the instinct.
19:41
Instinct. Yeah, yeah, I know.
19:42
I get that. Now we're going to talk about
19:44
post nut clarity. Yes, post nut clarity.
19:47
That was the definition of it right there.
19:50
Right there he was gone. Took his condom off, wiped off
19:53
his Dick right for the front door.
19:56
I'm like God. Yeah.
19:58
And don't take it personal. Yeah.
19:59
I'm not. I get it.
20:01
Yeah, that was definitely his first time.
20:03
Plus he has people who saw it. Yeah, yeah, the witness of and.
20:07
There were lady witnesses. He's he's thinking.
20:10
And he was like, and he was definitely into one of them for
20:12
sure, which I think created that also of like, like he's like the
20:17
1 he wants is watching it, but he can't do anything about it,
20:19
you know? Yeah.
20:20
So I think that kind of created it like all right, let me get
20:22
out of here kind of aspect. You know, my thing of it is if
20:25
he had messaged me, like he might message me after the fact,
20:29
Yeah. And he might say, hey, Mr. Smea
20:30
having me next time, could you touch me or do something?
20:34
Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, take off the weird.
20:35
Mask I thought you guys were going to talk or something.
20:38
Yeah, You know, I couldn't. That's not approachable to me
20:41
when you're wearing an entire face guard.
20:43
So all I can see is your eyes, no?
20:45
He was stealth, Yeah. He.
20:46
Wasn't. Yeah, Outside he was full ninja.
20:49
I'm like, I know what this is. Somebody'd down low.
20:51
Real. Please God, nobody seen me.
20:54
Yes. It's either stealth food, like
20:57
he's afraid that somebody is going to recognize him and he's
21:01
or it's he's really ashamed to be doing this and he doesn't.
21:05
Both. That's a young man.
21:06
I think it's. Both, yeah.
21:08
That's a young man thing. I used to do this like people
21:10
who go to like, you know, an adult theater or a glory hole.
21:13
There were a lot of them were in disguises.
21:16
Yeah. It just is part of it.
21:18
A lot of perverts like me don't care anymore.
21:20
But I also go out of town because there's nothing where I
21:22
live so I don't have to worry. And if I do bump into somebody
21:25
there, they're the same shit I'm in, but a younger mentality
21:28
because society tells me you're supposed to do this or do that,
21:32
and it just brainwashes you. Well, what I always say is skin
21:35
is skin and it shouldn't matter. Unless it's really stinky pussy.
21:40
Yeah. That I agree on Charles 1000%.
21:44
Ruins a good meal. It does.
21:47
It's such a shame. Look at the look on her face.
21:49
I know Kylie was like no. There's no such thing.
21:52
Not to pussy. Oh pristine.
21:54
Oh, they all were at one point. And that one part I get abused
21:58
thoroughly. I don't.
21:59
Take one in my mouth any day. Oh.
22:01
You heard it here. Yeah, we heard me up.
22:05
Out there you go. I'm not as picky with women as I
22:08
am men. Women, you want to sit on my
22:10
face just. I get it, pussy.
22:12
Pussy's awesome. Pussy's great.
22:15
Yeah, women attached to him, to it, it's even better.
22:19
She just doesn't even discriminate.
22:20
I love it. She's like a woman is a woman.
22:22
I love it. Good for you.
22:24
Yeah. What?
22:25
You like, it's great. See I feel that way about men
22:28
because I love men and I always say an advocate for men.
22:32
But my issue is when a man does not properly groom and probably
22:37
clean and doesn't think to be considerate enough that if I'm
22:40
touching him and doing things to him BDS and related, he needs to
22:45
smell. Good.
22:46
Yeah. Motion doesn't smell good all
22:49
the time. Most, not all, but most tend to
22:51
do upkeep and stuff. Yeah.
22:54
Yeah. I mean, not that I care about
22:56
bushes, but you know. They do need to wash the
22:59
undercarriage. They do.
23:01
Because balls stink. Balls stink.
23:04
Yeah. Oops.
23:04
Can stink too with those. They can't.
23:07
Yeah, Underneath, yeah, they can't.
23:08
You get that? Like yeah, cheese smell.
23:10
It's bad. I'll wipe them like every time I
23:13
take up my bra and I'm like just a.
23:15
Shower is a wonderful thing. Yeah, I take full time.
23:18
Yeah, is. That for that reason, all right,
23:20
we got to talk a little sexy here.
23:22
We got to stop talking. Do sweat and ball sweat and ball
23:25
cheese. What the fuck?
23:26
It's part of it. Though.
23:27
OK, it's part of what? Real.
23:30
Life All right, so let's ask the lesbian here.
23:33
What is your true thoughts on how do you go about eating
23:37
pussy? It depends on the women because
23:39
different every woman likes it differently.
23:44
Now I am not a person to put my tongue inside a vagina.
23:48
I know a lot of women who do I, I don't particularly like
23:52
putting my tongue inside of them necessarily, but I like to look
23:56
around like a tease, like I look around it and I look up.
23:59
But I generally focus on the clit more than anything else and
24:03
I just kind of play with the clit till I figure out what
24:04
works for him. I've had my ex likes kitten
24:07
licks like she likes the nice soft little kitten licks.
24:11
I had a girl who liked it rough like she let me like suck it and
24:13
bite it and like kind of like the way I like it very rough,
24:16
very coarse. And then the last one I was
24:17
with, she liked it when I would flick it against my teeth, like
24:21
so I would bite kind of bite down, although like front teeth
24:25
and then use my tongue to like lick it like into my teeth
24:29
basically. So it like hit backwards.
24:31
She loved that shit. I mean, make her come real
24:33
quick. And that's what I do.
24:34
I kind of play with the clip to figure out what works the best
24:37
and go from there. And I mean, I'll lick like down
24:40
and you know, get the juices and I'll clean it up too.
24:42
But like I don't actually go in. I know a lot of women who do.
24:45
I've been, I've had quite a few tongues, but I'm just not one to
24:50
go inside of Adina. Do you like to finger when
24:53
you're doing the clip too? I will, but I found that with a
24:56
lot of women it can be over stimulating unless they're used
24:59
to rough stuff like the one who I liked to have like bit and
25:03
just you know, like the rough. I would finger her because she
25:06
could handle the roughness, but women who like the softer, sweet
25:10
stuff, they can't really handle penetration and the tongue.
25:13
The. Kitty leg, it's like one thing.
25:15
They're like ulcer sensitive. They can only take that and
25:17
can't focus on the. Other right, same problem.
25:20
Well, it's your turn now, Charles.
25:21
Do you tell? Us, she said the same fucking
25:23
thing. Because every woman is
25:25
different. Like what I like to do is
25:28
different than what a woman likes to do.
25:29
I love worshipping the entire pussy.
25:32
Like you said, a tongue inside. Yeah, I love lips.
25:35
I love lips. It's just kissing them and
25:38
touching them and spreading them with my tongue.
25:39
It's just awesome. It's just a texture and what I'm
25:42
doing. Most women don't like it.
25:43
They want to get right to it, right to the clip.
25:45
All right, So pussy. What I like and what they like
25:48
are two different things. I like worshipping all of it.
25:51
But it's identical to you, You know, some of them like it very
25:53
light and it's straight to the clit.
25:56
They like it very light. They're very sensitive.
25:58
And some women, they want me to go down like a fucking Hoover.
26:02
My jaw is hurting. But here's a problem with a lot
26:05
of women when it comes to guys, they don't tell you what they
26:08
like. You have to figure it out.
26:10
Well, that's part of the fun, though, trying to just try on
26:13
different things till something till you hear that that like
26:16
high pitched mom and you're like, all right, that's what it
26:18
is you. Can realize men don't tell man,
26:22
man do. I'm woman, woman smart.
26:25
We figure this shit out. Well, I have figured it out over
26:28
time because if you don't get the reaction, you know, with
26:31
something like it very like, but I mean it's easier if you only
26:34
like light flicking. You should say that.
26:37
That's my last partner was like needed a Hoover, you know, and I
26:40
got right to it. Then you're used to one thing
26:42
and not the other. I.
26:43
Like me, I said. I'm quick to.
26:44
I learn quick. I would prefer the ones that
26:46
like a light touch, honestly, because it's a lot less work.
26:49
They seem to really enjoy it more.
26:51
Somebody who needs like a Hoover and really hard, you got to
26:54
work. You've got to fucking work to
26:56
get them off. that Lady at that party, she's kept going and
27:00
going and going and poor guy says hurry up and bust your nut.
27:02
We got to go because it just took her a while.
27:05
That's somewhere when you like flick them just the right way
27:07
for a few seconds and they're off, you know?
27:09
Yeah, 9th orgasm. Yeah, I mean.
27:12
I come quick too. I mean, I come quick, but I have
27:14
small orgasms. It's it's rare.
27:17
Like you have to tell me like not to come.
27:19
If you want like an actual like big orgasm from me, you have to
27:22
be like, don't come, don't come, don't go and then and let me
27:24
then I'll have a big orgasm. But usually I just have small
27:26
little ones, you know, But I mean, I can have, you know, the
27:29
small like orgasms up to like 30.
27:32
I think I did. My record is 40 in six hours.
27:35
Nice. Yeah, that was that was a night.
27:38
Now I can have two back-to-back if I do a prostate orgasm 1st
27:44
and then a regular orgasm without that refractory period.
27:47
But if I do post orgasm torture, I can have what you're talking
27:50
about, those many orgasms. Yeah, those many ones.
27:52
Multiple over and over and over again.
27:54
But it's not a coming orgasm but it's the body orgasm and the
27:57
brain orgasm. Pain and pleasure wrapped in the
28:00
one. It's hell but great same time.
28:03
I guess that's what it's like to have a woman be a woman.
28:05
To have multi orgasms. But men can't handle that shit.
28:09
I've got to be duct taped to a table.
28:10
Yeah, it's easy for women to do that though, or for some women,
28:14
some women, they don't have any orgasms.
28:16
They only have the big orgasms and you got to just work at it
28:19
until they they're able to get it.
28:20
I knew one woman that she did not want to be touched after she
28:23
had it was almost like a male. She was a woman, but she had her
28:27
worn orgasm. That was it.
28:28
And then some other ones go like a diesel engine.
28:30
Just keep going all night trying to tap out because your jaw
28:33
hurts. Mia Yeah, you have some pussy
28:35
eating experience. I do.
28:37
I do. Share it with the audience
28:38
because they really want to hear that.
28:40
I will, I will tell you this. One of my favorite moments was I
28:45
was having sex with this black girl and unfortunately.
28:50
I've already half mast. Shoot, because I'm going to look
28:54
at you and tell the story, Charles.
29:00
But apparently she had a girlfriend that was an arena
29:02
football, and the girlfriend found out about me.
29:06
Yeah, she's very Butch. And here I was fucking her cute
29:10
little petite black girl. And so I went down on her clit
29:13
and I have the ability to move my tongue very, very quickly,
29:18
you know, as. Very uncomfortable, are you?
29:25
Tingling. She is look at.
29:27
Oh, she's hot and they love. She fucking loved it and I would
29:31
get her to come like that. Nice.
29:33
And my boyfriend at the time, he was like, you've got to film
29:36
this for me. So I put my laptop right there
29:40
on my night stand and point it to me doing that.
29:45
And they were, the videos were great.
29:49
And I would just, you know, of course, send them to my
29:51
boyfriend at the time. Where are they?
29:57
Both getting our versions of boners.
30:01
I wanna see this. But but yeah, I'd flicker Clint
30:05
and then finger at the same time and then she was done.
30:09
I mean, it was a. Tiny thing too.
30:11
Yeah, yeah, you gotta type. Yeah, you know, I gotta type.
30:14
All right, this is the Butch lady.
30:16
Ever catch up with you? A bitch came to my front door
30:20
and was knocking on my front door.
30:23
I chose not to answer the door. Yeah, I chose not.
30:29
But I will tell you that one time I had this really crazy
30:32
bitch stalker. I met her guy on Plenty of Fish
30:37
back in the day. I was single.
30:38
I thought he was single. Met him one time.
30:41
Not a big deal. He was not my type at all.
30:46
And a good old boy, bushy beard, you know.
30:50
Yeah, just not appealing. Ultimately, he had his
30:56
girlfriend. He wasn't screening, you know,
30:58
our messages or anything because she had access to everything.
31:04
And I never sexed him. I never did any of that.
31:06
It was more or less like, hey, do you want to just meet for a
31:08
meet and greet? We'll have a little coffee up
31:10
the road. No big deal, that bitch was
31:13
fucking psycho. Came to my door with a baseball
31:15
bat and was hitting my door with a mental baseball bat.
31:19
I had to call the police and I said look, you need to tell her
31:23
I did not initiate. He's the one who keeps
31:26
initiating with me. I am ignoring everything and
31:31
she's like you're a liar, blah blah blah.
31:34
And I told the cop, I say here, show her my phone, just show her
31:37
my phone. Cop wouldn't do it.
31:39
They. Don't want to get involved in
31:40
that shit. They.
31:40
Didn't want to get involved with it, but if they would have
31:42
showed the phone to her, they would have seen.
31:45
Yeah. But anyway, I never sucked his
31:48
Dick. But pussy eating, Yeah, I did it
31:50
several times. You know, I was always the top
31:53
in every scenario. Oh really?
31:55
Yeah. OK, you don't let them serve.
31:58
You on occasion, but honestly they were just too gentle.
32:01
You like it a little. Yeah, I like it a little rough.
32:04
I like to be fingered at the same time and my clit is small
32:09
and it's completely overly sensitive so I don't want
32:12
anything excessive but. I'm guessing you're good at
32:14
like, telling people what you want.
32:16
I'll fuck you. I'll tell them all that.
32:17
Like that, That's just. Yeah, and then sometimes when
32:19
they're really good, I just press their face against it.
32:21
Or love. That when I've had that, they
32:23
grind the back of my hair. When I used to have hair and
32:25
just grind it in there. I can't breathe.
32:27
What a great way to die. It was absolutely it was.
32:31
I was going to say yesterday I had a nice little event where I
32:33
had panties on and like I said, asshole to his face.
32:37
Yeah. Poor guy and.
32:38
Then at some point I was just like you're It is a privilege to
32:41
breathe. You don't need to breathe right
32:43
now. Well, everyone's got to die and.
32:44
He's like, and I'm like, you're going to pass out one day with
32:48
me sitting on your face and you're going to say thank you,
32:50
Mistress. How about you, Kylie?
32:51
Would you like to pass out with some vagina on your face?
32:53
He'll fuck. Or how about how about you last
32:55
moment? If.
32:57
We all got one. Likes asshole.
32:59
Well, if we all got die, how about Face City Supplication.
33:02
My face City, Yeah. I mean, the best way to go out
33:06
is a woman riding my face. If a woman is riding my face,
33:10
sitting on my face, using me as a chair, and I die that way, you
33:13
can. You can absolutely, at my
33:16
funeral say she died doing what she loved because I did 100.
33:19
Percent good way to go. Honor to honor.
33:24
Don't even. Literally the best last meal.
33:26
That is the best way to go out. There is nothing better than
33:29
that woman orgasming and you just that's the last thing you
33:32
feel is to come on your time. There you go, right?
33:35
Once you could do it on my corpse, as far as I care, I.
33:37
Mean, I told my friend the other day she I'm into, I think I've
33:42
said on podcast before, but I allow sonophilia, which is a
33:46
letting sleep with you while you're asleep, but Oh yeah,
33:48
while you're asleep. And it's very close to
33:51
necrophilia, as close as you can get with a living person,
33:53
obviously. Yeah.
33:55
And I told someone the other day, one of my friends, I was
33:58
like, yeah. I mean, if you really want to,
33:59
after I'm dead, if you think you can get away with it, go for it.
34:02
I mean, I was used in life, why not in death?
34:05
And they're like, yeah, it's kind of cold.
34:06
I'm like, well, you can put me in the crematorium for a couple
34:08
seconds and heat it up like a Hot Pocket if you want, I guess.
34:10
This is a little dark. Wow.
34:16
I'm OK with it. I mean, your viewers might have
34:18
just been stung. I wouldn't have got, I wouldn't
34:20
have got the necrophilia. They love it.
34:22
But I do ask, you know, does the clitoris get rigor mortis?
34:26
Oh, I would assume. Because my elves do We get
34:28
preopisms is what they call it, you know?
34:30
I assume. After we pass, we get erections,
34:33
you know, it's just kind of an odd little what a big fuck you
34:37
from nature right then you and Dick gets hard and stays hard
34:41
forever like. Yeah, somophilia.
34:44
Somophilia. Somophilia.
34:45
Like Insomnia? Insomnia.
34:47
OK, just like. It's it's like insomnophilia,
34:50
but it's just somnophilia. OK, Somnophilia.
34:52
OK, cool. Yeah, so I'm gonna feel you.
34:56
I don't think she'll mind so I can't do that.
35:00
Just got other words for that shit when a guy does it.
35:03
Well, one of our Doms was with a husband and she divorced her
35:06
husband who was really into that.
35:08
Yeah, and. She got tired of it, she really
35:11
did. She just got tired of it.
35:12
What a weird way to wake up. Yeah, I could see that.
35:16
Yeah, I might fantasize my husband doing something to me,
35:19
but I'd probably react badly, right?
35:21
Somebody's on me it. Depends on the person, some
35:24
people react very badly to it happening and some people they
35:28
let people do it because they enjoy it.
35:30
Me, I actually like it because especially with my ex, because
35:34
my ex would always like to do shit at night and I once I go to
35:38
sleep, I don't want to be woken up, especially for sex.
35:41
Like that's not something I want to be woken up for.
35:44
So if you want it, just fucking take it.
35:46
It's there in your bed. Do whatever you.
35:48
Want Can you tell who you're next to when you sleep?
35:51
Are you aware of who they are? No, I know who I go to sleep
35:54
next to, but if they were to get up and somebody else sit in
35:57
their spot, I would have no idea.
35:58
When I wake up, I want to know where I am.
35:59
So that's like a bad idea. Hey, we're going to play a game.
36:03
I'm like, no, this is not good. I don't struggle with that.
36:08
Like I mean I woke it up to orgasms I've had.
36:12
I found that I don't wake up unless it's penetration.
36:15
Unless they penetrate I don't wake up.
36:17
I'll have full-fledged orgasms, completely sound asleep, never
36:21
woke up, didn't even know they'd done it.
36:24
If you really really mess my clit I will sometimes wake up
36:28
and I tend to something. If it's big enough I'll wake up
36:30
for penetration. But I mean my ex one time
36:32
fingered me while sound asleep, finger me and play with my clit
36:35
and I never even woke up. Had an orgasm came on her hand
36:38
and never woke up. Not every.
36:40
Woman like I'll never know that, no.
36:43
I think men would have to somewhat become conscious
36:45
because their blood flow would have to go well at.
36:47
That point we still have wet dreams yeah, we actually have
36:50
sex and our sleep. We wake up with hard ONS and
36:52
we've ejaculated, but we didn't touch anything yeah.
36:55
So I, I don't know, I never had that when somebody did something
36:58
to me when I was asleep, but. They woke up men with, you know,
37:01
with their Dick in my mouth. Yeah, that would be nice.
37:03
But I just, I don't think I'm, I've had a different set of life
37:06
experiences and some of these guys.
37:08
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's great when you're
37:12
waking up and you're like, oh, someones eating my pussy right?
37:15
That would be great. This is awesome that.
37:16
Would. Be great way to wake up.
37:18
It's a really good alarm clock. Yes, it is like go down, lick my
37:21
asshole too. I'm good with that.
37:23
Yeah, I mean, I've, I've had the the last partner I had, she she
37:27
wake me up, I wake up with her tongue in one of the two holes.
37:29
Nice, yeah. All the time.
37:32
Yeah, I'm with you. Next didn't really go down on me
37:34
when I sleep but she would you know, she'd play with it a lot
37:37
treat like a little stressed toy and I'm like go for it, you know
37:40
I. I mean.
37:41
You do it. I mean you do it when I'm while
37:43
I'm awake. I mean you put me in cuffs and
37:46
do it while I'm awake. Put belts around as you put
37:48
vibrators on it. What's difference when I'm
37:50
asleep? You got a nice looking pussy
37:52
because they can watch those videos.
37:53
If they go, they go on our Royal fans or if they go on our
37:58
website, they can they can purchase those videos because
38:01
Abby was going to town on your pussy.
38:03
Abby went to town on my pussy. I mean, she gave it.
38:07
Did I send you the video, Charles I?
38:09
Got part of it. OK, you need.
38:11
You need. Panty and I saw the massager on
38:14
top of it and you were squirting through the panties and I saw
38:16
some electrical play. You were having a good time.
38:19
So much you, though. Yeah.
38:20
Oh, we were having a blast. Yeah, I can show you the the
38:23
unedited. I hate censorship.
38:26
I know, I know. So we're going.
38:28
To turn the cameras off for all the blowjobs because we can't
38:30
post it. So.
38:32
Aggravating. So you can't even like have a
38:33
zipper unzip in front of the microphone, can you?
38:36
No, I don't think so. I thought we better try.
38:40
All right, well, on that note. When we hear about Baby Tay.
38:44
Yes, we're going to go on the next episode about it.
38:47
Yeah, he's real excited about baby.
38:48
Tay, he's really, and it's kind of, you know, good for him.
38:52
Yeah, I mean, I'm rooting for him.
38:53
Well, he got, he got cut and fucked.
38:55
Yeah, that's kind of white, you know?
38:57
Hey, good for you. Plus he gets other stuff, you
38:59
know, he's living his dream, whatever that is, discuss the
39:02
legality of it or whatever. But he's he's trying to live his
39:05
dream. Talk all, buddy.
39:06
All right, so until then, thank you both.
39:08
That's fabulous. Until then, this has been the
39:10
latest episode of Call Me Mistress.