Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #436 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#436 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers Now.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: It can be very very easy in our busy lives
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  Speaker 2: to just kind of think that everything's going well. But
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  Speaker 2: what I've noticed is we've been really intentional about slowing
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  Speaker 2: down and coming together in close confined is that the
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  Speaker 2: connection has actually strengthened.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
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  Speaker 1: and dad. It's the Happy Families Podcast.
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  Speaker 3: This is Justin and Kylie Coulson, the parents of six children,
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  Speaker 3: founder of Happy Families dot com dot you, and Fridays
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  Speaker 3: are the best day of the week because well, two things.
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  Speaker 3: Number One, the podcast is all about this idea of
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  Speaker 3: I'll do better tomorrow. How can we learn from the
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  Speaker 3: week that was so that we can be better parents,
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  Speaker 3: be more intentional, more reflective, more engaged with our families
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  Speaker 3: and other Two on a personal note, because we're living
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  Speaker 3: a part of the moment, I get to come and
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  Speaker 3: hang out with you and the kids.
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  Speaker 1: It's a Friday. I'm spending the weekend on the coast.
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  Speaker 1: Can we go to the beach? Please? Oh that's a
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  Speaker 1: good yes, it is because you're there twice a day,
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  Speaker 1: at least at the moment.
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  Speaker 3: This is why the move is happening, by the way,
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  Speaker 3: so that we can spend more time having these moments.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, for those of you who are.
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  Speaker 3: New to the podcast, our podcasts numbers are a reflection
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  Speaker 3: of individuals, people, families who are listening to the podcasts
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  Speaker 3: to make their family happier. And we've seen a really
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  Speaker 3: marked increase in the number of people who are listening
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  Speaker 3: to the podcast this year. We're so grateful to you
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  Speaker 3: for being here. If you're fairly new to the podcast.
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  Speaker 3: Every Friday we reflect on what's happened in the week
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  Speaker 3: and find ways that we can do more of the
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  Speaker 3: good stuff and less of the bad stuff. And it's
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  Speaker 3: a fairly short podcast really today because I want to
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  Speaker 3: get up the cost I want to jump in the
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  Speaker 3: car and come and be with you. So, Kylie, tell
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  Speaker 3: me when you reflect on the week that was, is
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  Speaker 3: there anything that's really stood out to you in terms
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  Speaker 3: of how you can be better tomorrow, anything that's jumped
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  Speaker 3: out at you as a learning.
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  Speaker 2: The thing that stood out to me the most this week,
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  Speaker 2: as we've navigated being in small, confined spaces, is that
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  Speaker 2: the kids, for the most part, are actually getting on better. Wow,
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  Speaker 2: it's been a little bit of an experiment on my
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  Speaker 2: part for a little while now. I've actually suggested to
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  Speaker 2: you that I would like to downsize. But we've also
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  Speaker 2: had this concern that we've forgot all of these children
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  Speaker 2: still and they all would like to have their own
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  Speaker 2: personal space.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, so for context, it's probably worth mentioning we currently
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  Speaker 3: have a home that has six bedrooms. Six bedrooms is
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  Speaker 3: a big house, right, And you're now in a and
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  Speaker 3: obviously multiple bathrooms to go along with those six bedrooms.
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  Speaker 3: You're now in a three bedroom flat that has a
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  Speaker 3: bathroom and.
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  Speaker 1: A toilet, and that's it.
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  Speaker 2: That's right.
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  Speaker 1: That's a massive downsize.
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  Speaker 2: We've got two children's bedrooms with two children in each
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  Speaker 2: of those bedrooms. And what I'm watching, I'm literally watching
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  Speaker 2: that the children that are sharing rooms. On the way
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  Speaker 2: to the beach will walk together side by side and
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  Speaker 2: talk the whole way there, and then they'll talk the
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  Speaker 2: whole way home. They're in the water and they're spending
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  Speaker 2: time together. Kids are looking after Emily because she's still
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: seven but is just loving being in the surf. Her
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  Speaker 2: confidence and her ability to navigate the surf at the
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  Speaker 2: moment has just exploded. It's been amazing watching it and
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  Speaker 2: just watching the way the girls are navigating it has
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  Speaker 2: been such a delight.
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  Speaker 1: So that reminds me of the story.
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  Speaker 3: We have some friends who moved to the United States
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  Speaker 3: from Brisbane a number of years ago. They were going
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  Speaker 3: across for two years for work for the dad, and
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  Speaker 3: they made a similar choice. They moved from a really
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  Speaker 3: large home into a townhouse in Pennsylvania, so there were
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  Speaker 3: three bedrooms. They had three children with them and only
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  Speaker 3: one living area, and they talked about how during that
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  Speaker 3: two years living in that three bedroom townhouse with one
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  Speaker 3: living area, they were kind of on top of each
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  Speaker 3: other all the time, but it was good for their family.
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  Speaker 1: They learned to get along.
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  Speaker 3: And we started talking about downsizing after that, with the
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  Speaker 3: idea that maybe kids don't need their own bedrooms, Maybe
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  Speaker 3: it's good for them to be close to one another,
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  Speaker 3: to bond, to attach themselves to their sisters, to their
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  Speaker 3: family members. And it sounds like that's kind of what's
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  Speaker 3: happening for you. Am I reading that right?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? It's interesting. I think that for children who are,
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  Speaker 2: you know, socially driven, it's very easy for them to
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  Speaker 2: get their social fix. You know that they'll come into
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  Speaker 2: the family when they want to, and they'll they'll make
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  Speaker 2: it happen. But for children who are a little bit
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  Speaker 2: slower to warm or struggle to initiate, being isolated in
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  Speaker 2: their own room while they think that it's actually what
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  Speaker 2: they want, is actually detrimental to their well being. And
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  Speaker 2: we've definitely seen this week as one of our children
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  Speaker 2: in particular, who really kind of just feels like she's
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  Speaker 2: a little bit on the outer Now that she's sharing
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  Speaker 2: a room again, her behavior has changed dramatically and the
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  Speaker 2: family's happier for it.
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  Speaker 3: After the break, we're going to find out how leeches
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  Speaker 3: and coastal rainforests combined with Queensland humidity to make for
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  Speaker 3: an adventure that definitely will help us to be better tomorrow.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Podcast for a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership,
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: because a happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy
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  Speaker 4: families dot com dot au.
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  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
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  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we
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  Speaker 2: are sharing our reflections of the week that was.
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  Speaker 3: And we're doing it via zoom because Kylie's on the
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  Speaker 3: coast and I'm in Brisbane, but not for much longer.
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  Speaker 3: The last weekend that I was with you on the coast,
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  Speaker 3: we caught up with some people that we don't know
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  Speaker 3: really well, but they were really welcoming when they found
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  Speaker 3: out that we were there. We've got a pre existing
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  Speaker 3: relationship with them, and they said, hey, every Sunday afternoon
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  Speaker 3: we go for a really nice, easy walk.
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  Speaker 1: In the hints Land.
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  Speaker 3: We kind of step into the rainforest and just explore
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  Speaker 3: somewhere beautiful and maybe you'd like to join us. And
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  Speaker 3: you know what, Kylie, we said yes, because isn't it
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  Speaker 3: great to have friends who are willing to invite you
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  Speaker 3: along to do things?
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  Speaker 1: And it was just it was great to be together.
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  Speaker 3: It was really nice to get to know some new
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  Speaker 3: people and get the kids talking to some potentially new
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  Speaker 3: friends because they had kids similar ages to ours.
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  Speaker 1: But the reality is it was hot.
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  Speaker 3: In fact, it wasn't just hot, it was humid, like stinking, sweaty,
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  Speaker 3: gross humid. And once we got there, we discovered that
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  Speaker 3: they didn't really know where they were going. We had
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  Speaker 3: no idea where we were going, and within a short
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  Speaker 3: while we were sort of navigating wet paths with big
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  Speaker 3: mud poddles right across them and sort of doing a
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  Speaker 3: bit of bush bashing to be able to get around
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  Speaker 3: the puddles. And none of us were dressed in thongs. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: none of us, by the way, for our non Australian friends, thongs.
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  Speaker 3: When we say we went for a bushwalk in our thongs,
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  Speaker 3: I just want to clarify we're not talking about underwear.
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  Speaker 3: We're talking about the things you put on your foot.
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  Speaker 3: Most people call them jamdles, yeah, jandles, that kind of
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  Speaker 3: thing or something similar. So we're walking in our thongs
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  Speaker 3: along these bush tracks and within a few minutes we've
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  Speaker 3: got leech covering our kids feet and in people's just
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  Speaker 3: everywhere leeches and people were noticing the leaches. So that
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  Speaker 3: meant that there was a whole lot of blood, and
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  Speaker 3: I mean it was just awful.
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  Speaker 1: It was terrible.
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  Speaker 3: And then the rain came, it started pouring down on us. Well,
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  Speaker 3: it was an adventure and it was absolutely, in retrospect horrible,
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  Speaker 3: and I loved every minute of it because the whole
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  Speaker 3: time I was laughing thinking we're going to remember the
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  Speaker 3: first Sunday that we spent on the coast once we
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  Speaker 3: made that decision to move, We're going to remember this family.
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  Speaker 3: We're going to remember the leeches, the rain, the humidity,
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  Speaker 3: the puddles, the mess, the mud, the thongs, the whole lot.
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  Speaker 1: And isn't that what life's about.
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  Speaker 3: We tend to remember the really well eventful experiences much
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  Speaker 3: more than we remember the very comfortable coastal walk along
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  Speaker 3: the beach.
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  Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
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  Speaker 2: Well, we're blood family now, there was so much blood.
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  Speaker 2: We are just attached to each other now for life.
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  Speaker 3: So the take home message life is an adventure. And
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  Speaker 3: even if you don't feel like a because you're tired
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  Speaker 3: and it's human and the weather's wrong, sometimes just getting
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  Speaker 3: out there and doing something is fabulous. That's my take
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  Speaker 3: home message. In Kylie, I'm guessing what's your take home
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  Speaker 3: message when you think about this whole Let's get everyone
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  Speaker 3: sharing rooms again.
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  Speaker 2: For me, it's all about connection. It can be very
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: very easy in our busy lives to just kind of
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: think that everything's going well. But what I've noticed is
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: we've been really intentional about slomming down and coming together
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: in close confined is that the connection has actually strengthened.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: And so as we move forward and we are looking
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: still looking for that dream home. I think that we'll
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  Speaker 2: find that we're actually going to downsize. Huh you okay
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  Speaker 2: with that?
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  Speaker 1: Thanks for putting me on the spot in public. I
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  Speaker 1: really appreciate that.
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  Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
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  Speaker 3: Bridge Media.
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  Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
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  Speaker 3: And we really hope that the ideas that we shared
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  Speaker 3: with you today we'll give you some food for thought
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  Speaker 3: about how you might make your family happier. For more
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  Speaker 3: info on making your family happy, visit happy families dot
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  Speaker 3: com dot a you
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  Speaker 1: Hm