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The phrase that narcissists hate the most! · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about the one phrase that narcissists hate
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  to hear the most. I see right through you.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. I just did.
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  I just did. A superhero landing Welcome.
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  It keeps you fired up. Get yourself fired up.
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  Y'all this video brought me some fire.
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  I just got fired up. Y'all hear y'all see the heat.
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  Y'all see the heat coming, But yeah, y'all.
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  That's the phrase that narcissists hate to hear.
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  Y'all is either is is very interesting of the same phrase.
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  If you can tell a narcissist I see right through you or or or I
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  know who you are, that phrase works just as as works just as
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  potent. Now I told my front of the day
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  is I told my wife this other night, I was like, when you hear
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  this phrase right here because about me what do you think I
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  was? Like if you, if you think, if
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  people say this phrase to me, how do you think I will react?
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  And I was like I know who you are if she's not shaking her
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  head and started laughing because she know how that phrase
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  affects me. I, as a diagnosed narcissist,
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  hate when people know who people think they know me.
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  I don't like to let people get too close.
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  So when you tell a narcissist, a lot of them, not everybody that
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  I don't speak for all narcissists, for the crab
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  babies, other if you tell a narcissist, I see right through
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  you or I know who you are, that's you're like, you're way
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  too close now. Now I feel like I'm now I feel
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  like I'm forced to be vulnerable with you.
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  I feel like you know my weaknesses.
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  You you know the like the little, the chinks in my arm or
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  whatever. You know who I am and I don't.
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  I don't like that I don't feel comfortable around you anymore.
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  So once you once I hear that phrase, I feel like I have to
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  switch up who I am. I feel like I have to switch up
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  my behaviors. I have to.
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  I feel like I have to switch up how I act and how I treat you
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  and how I the things that I do around you.
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  I feel like this stuff has to switch up now.
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  I feel like that stuff. I can't be the same person I was
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  because now I have to shake it up.
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  I can't have you not. I can't have you knowing who I
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  am. Pretty much.
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  I cannot have you knowing who I am, knowing what I do, knowing
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  what I have going on. I cannot have that.
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  So I need to switch it up. I I must switch it up, right?
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  I must switch it up. For narcissists hate that phrase
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  because it's like you see through the mask.
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  It's like you see through who I am.
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  It's like you see me for who I really like.
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  It's like you see my hurt inner child that I've been like the
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  the narcissistic shell is is guarding.
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  It's like you see that and I don't want you to see that I
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  don't I I I hate the fact that you might see that you know I
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  hate the fact that you that you noticed that I hate it just like
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  most narcissists hate it. Y'all.
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  So if you tell a narcissist I know who you are, I see right
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  through you. It's like you're peering into
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  our souls, into the darkness that some of us, some of us,
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  some of us might have in US. And you see the little our inner
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  child balled up into the corner, shaking like, shaking and
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  rattling like uncomfortable, unsafe, vulnerable, needing
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  help, needing assistance, crying out for somebody to protect us.
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  That's what we feel like you see right then and there.
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  And that's what we feel like. We got to change now.
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  I got to change it up now. It's like, you know, too much.
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  So once you say that phrase to narcissistic people, yeah, you
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  might get a visceral reaction. Sometimes it's crazy sometimes
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  if you tell a narcissist that or you say that to a narcissist,
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  like, they might get mad at you and try to give you a pop quiz.
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  Like, some of them will quiz you on the spot like that.
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  You're like they or you're a science teacher.
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  You know they'll quiz you on the spot like they damn near like,
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  I'm your science teacher. And here's your pop quiz, Sir,
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  here's your pop quiz right now. What's my favorite color?
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  What type of music do I like? What happened to me when I was
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  14 years old? You said I'm like, they'll give
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  you a super pop quiz And this right here that makes and this
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  crazy that makes narcissists change their personalities
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  sometimes on the spot. Like if you tell them that you
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  know them, they feel like they need to protect themselves so
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  that they might change their personalities on the spot.
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  And I know that sounds weird and I hope it makes sense to you,
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  but that happened right there. They will change who they are
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  and what they do and how they operate.
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  Damn near on the spot. Just because you said you knew
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  who they are, just because you said you saw their hurt, you see
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  their pain. I see you're hurting.
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  I see your pain. Some of them will change what
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  they do and help what they like, their interest on the damn spot.
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  They will start liking other things that they really do not
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  like just to throw you off. It's like we it's like in in my
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  mind, this is how it's like when you meet a narcissist.
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  It's like you're starting at the beginning of a maze.
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  You know those, like those, those those mazes, like the
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  bushes, like the Bush maze. Like it.
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  Like what was it? Harry Potter.
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  I don't know if you a lot of y'all might have seen Harry
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  Potter when they were going through the maze and the dude
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  who plays Edward from Twilight end up losing his life.
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  Cedric, you know he end up losing his life.
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  That maze, that type of maze right there, it's like you're at
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  the beginning of a maze and you will never find it.
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  The inner child I hurt inner child is in the middle of the
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  maze, lost. And the we we and the the
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  narcissistic part of us has created and made the maze in
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  damn near impossible to navigate.
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  We don't even know where the damn inner child is at.
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  You know we have a map. Sometimes we don't even know
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  where he at or she's at or they are, you know.
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  So if you tell them like I see right through you, it's like you
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  figured out the maze. So now I need to add up some
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  some some some some trap doors. Now I need to add, you know,
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  some spike strip or some poison arrows or something like that.
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  Now I need to find something to deter you away from this spot
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  right here. You know, I need to find
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  something to get you away from this place right here.
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  I need to find something to get you to get.
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  Leave me be. I need to find to throw you off
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  the scent. I need to move my inner child
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  from its safe place in darkness. Now I need to move my inner
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  child to a deeper place in the maze.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like, it's like you see if you
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  tell them that you see through them.
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  That's what they're thinking. They're thinking that you see
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  their inner child. They're thinking that you see
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  their inner pain. They're thinking that you see
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  their inner hurt. They're in the strife.
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  They're in the struggle. They're thinking that right
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  there. They're thinking that that you
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  see all of that. They think so.
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  They have to move their inner child.
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  That's what the phrase that they hate.
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  Because now all the work I put in is now I've got to change it
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  up. Ah, damn it.
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  Sorry. Yeah, knock my mic off.
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  I don't get too hype. Hold off, hold off.
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  Is that now I have to change up my plan.
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  Now I have to change up my patterns.
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  Now I have to change up who I am and what I have going on and
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  what I wanted to do. Because now you know too much.
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  Yeah, sometimes. Like I say, this is the craziest
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  part right here. If you if narcissists feel like
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  you know too much, sometimes they feel like they need to
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  break up with you. It's wild.
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  They'll start treating you badly because you got too close.
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  And narcissistic people, a lot of them, don't want you to get
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  too close. Let's keep it high.
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  You know, a lot of them don't want you too close to them
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  because they don't feel safe. They they don't want you.
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  They don't want you extremely close to them, but they don't
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  want to leave you alone. They don't want to let you go.
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  And I noticed the the confusing dynamic that a lot of people
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  face when you deal with narcissists.
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  It's like, damn, Lee, how do we win, man?
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  Like you don't want you don't want us to get too close, but
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  you don't want to let us go. How do we love a person like
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  this? It is very difficult to love a
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  narcissist Y'all It absolutely is.
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  I'm not trying to make it sound like it's easy and I'm just I I
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  give y'all. I give y'all what I know you
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  know what I mean? So if I'm giving y'all what I
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  know, so you can see it, so you understand it, so like you so
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  you know, like, OK, damn. OK, this is what's going on.
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  This is how this person operates.
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  And I can make the decision. I can make an informed decision
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  on what I need to stay or what I need to go.
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  You know, I can make their decision right now based on
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  factual information that I have provided in front of me.
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  I have, I can make a decision to keep this thing moving forward.
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  I can make that decision because they're going to change up their
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  personalities. Like I said, the person you met
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  in the beginning of a relationship with the narcissist
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  will not be the same person that you know at the end of one.
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  And I say when I say the end of one.
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  It could be when y'all divorce. It could be when y'all break up.
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  It could be when one. It could be when that
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  narcissistic person passes away. The end of relationship won't be
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  you won't you know, and I know people grow.
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  I know people change over time. But you still have a baseline of
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  who you were at the beginning. That person is still right
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  there. You can see.
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  You know your framing is still there for your your original
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  person. The narcissistic person's
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  framing is gone. They are not the same person.
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  You know, they're not who they. They are not the same person.
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  They keep it moving in those spaces, within those dynamics,
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  in that peace. So you have to give yourself
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  some peace. You have to give yourself some
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  space. Because if you don't, I'm just
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  telling you this is how it goes right here.
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  This is the limit a lot of people face.
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  Because if you tell a narcissist, like I see through
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  you, I know who you are and it doesn't matter.
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  Yeah. The crazy thing about it is it
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  doesn't matter what tone you say it in.
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  Like, it doesn't even matter to the tone doesn't matter.
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  The tone is irrelevant. You can say it in the most calm,
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  cool, collected tone that you can think of.
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  And it's still, the narcissistic person will still take it, like
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  as an attack, because it's like, they'll take it like you know
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  their weaknesses. They'll take it like, you know
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  what, whether you know how to hurt me.
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  So your tone is kind of irrelevant in these spaces right
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  here. It can be important sometimes,
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  but the tone absolutely does. It can be irrelevant a lot of
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  times in these spaces within this dynamic.
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  So you have to figure it out in your in this space, we'll take
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  this information. I'm giving you an operator, take
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  it out, take the information I'm giving you and run with it.
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  You know that's the space, that's the dynamic.
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  That's the piece that we go into right there.
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  That really, really is y'all. It really, really is.
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  So I know who you are. I see right through you.
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  Like if you if people tell me it's like Lee, I know exactly
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  who you are. I know exactly what you're going
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  to do. I'm going to switch it up on
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  you. I'm going to start liking
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  different music. I'm going to start liking
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  different stuff. I'm going to just change it up
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  on you immediately. That's just how my mind.
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  That's how my mind works right there in that space.
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  Like if people think they know me, I got to switch it up on
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  you. I got to keep you guessing,
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  right? I got to keep you off balance,
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  you know, because the balance does matter.
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  Keeping you off balance does matter.
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• 11:27
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• 11:30
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• 11:38
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• 11:52
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  Peace.