Latest / Learnings and Missteps by Depth Builder / Embracing Leadership That Connects and Cultivates Team Success with Victoria Fusco

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Embracing Leadership That Connects and Cultivates Team Success with Victoria Fusco · Learnings and Missteps by Depth Builder

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is going on?
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: L&m family?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I am here with a superstar that I got to meet in person first, like one of the rare people that I got to meet in person in the flesh at the Women's Confidence Builders Executive Luncheon last year.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Her name, let me share her name.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Her name is Victoria Fusco.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: She's an executive leadership coach and soft skill development and you know I get to with the word stock.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I get to follow all of her amazing content.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: That is man.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Every time I see her content it's like son of a gun.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I wish I was as clear and poignant as you are, ms Victoria.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: You are Miss Victoria.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: So, folks, I'm super excited for you to get to meet her, learn from her, and particularly just a heads up, victoria, I am going to bug you about how you broke through the wall around using the language, soft skill development and also having enormous growth in your company.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: But before I get super nosy, I want to give a shout out to L&M family member Adam Hoots.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: You know, adam Hoots, he's up your way.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: He left a comment, kind of a review, about my interview or conversation with Matt Oley and Adam says crazy, awesome and vulnerable podcast.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Y'all Love your leadership.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Hell, no, I ain't coming back.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Jesse's question game has gotten way too strong.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Adam, thank you.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: And for the rest of the family members out there, leave me a comment.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Let me know you're there, because it gives me great happiness and joy to know that the content that we're putting out is landing and actually providing some value to you, and so stop jamming and, ms Victoria, let us know all of the ultra amazing things about you right now.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm excited to be here.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I was stoked when you asked me because I also stalk, follow you on LinkedIn and seeing all your posts and podcasts and just the people that you have guests is amazing, so I'm really thankful to be here.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: But my name is Victoria Fusco.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I am guest is amazing, so I'm really thankful to be here.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: But my name is Victoria Fusco.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I own the Leader HQ.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: So, like you said, we do soft skill development, leadership development.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: We deal a lot with middle management executives, but we focus mainly on more effective communication, better delegation and just overall connection to the people in your company.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: We also believe that leadership is not just siloed for the executives, but it should be for every single person in the company, because ultimately, we want to create a ripple effect of positive change in our kids' lives and our people's lives outside of the workplace, and that's really how you create a company culture, which is that buzzword that's happening now.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: So our whole community right Like it's not just a work thing, it's not one side of the gate, it's the whole community, the whole person.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And I appreciate that the most, especially in the stuff you put out, it's clear that, yes, there is a professional element or professional gain to the services that you provide and you're also focused on.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: This is like a quality of life thing.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Am I wrong?
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's absolutely right.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Because I mean half of our time that we spend is at home and it's at work, so why have two separate lives?
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: You know that doesn't?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good, it takes a lot of it Like I used to do, that I had multiple lives and and it took so much damn energy to like put off, take off this mask, put on the other one, take off this mask, put on the other one, take off this mask, put on the other one.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: And then it's like why doesn't anybody love me for?
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: me Because I was always hiding right.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody knows you.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Victoria, did you just like you were in third grade and said, okay, I want to do this leadership stuff and soft skills?
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Like how did that happen?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it is crazy.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: So I started working for a paycheck at 13.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: It was the time that my parents actually were getting divorced, so not to take that down a weird path, but just it was an opportunity for growth.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: So it was an opportunity for how do I be independent, how do I kind of make my own path?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: So I started teaching dance, actually at 13 and babysitting, and that led me to being able to kind of be the assistant under a woman who owned multi-location dance studios at 16.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: So it's pretty much like getting that hands-on experience of being an entrepreneur and what that meant and what was required to be successful in that, which I think is a really great point to make.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: What is required, because it was a lot of work.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: And then that happened until 18.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: And then I just kind of knew, after getting a taste, that I was going to work for myself at some point, doing something.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I just didn't know exactly what that was.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And so at 18, it started as events and entertainment, which turned into marketing and events for client success and small business.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: And then 2020, I just realized that the real problem with my clients and my own team at the time was team dynamics, it was connection.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: It was that soft skill, kind of like connective tissue, that a lot of companies didn't focus on.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Right, they focused on what I was doing marketing sales outside, outside, outside flashy marketing and they were focused on let's get a business coach, let's get HR.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: But there was this gap that was happening where it was like how do we actually create loyalty and increase employee retention?
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: And so long winded answer to your question.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: 2020 burnt everything down and rebuilt it purely coaching, purely virtual, some in person, and it's just been a journey from there.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: So, oh girl, I don't know if you know, but you know I gave the shout out to Adam, so I get extra nosy and you have license to tell me like bro, you need to back off.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: But in the interest of the L&M family member out there.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because everybody wants to know how, right, right and I feel like how is ultra important and we're going to get some of that.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: But like why and where did that, that skill come from?
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to be nosy.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, you know we talked about, or rather what I heard, was the way you found the niche or the value that you're providing now was through observation.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: You got to see the way people work together or don't work together, all that funkiness that happens.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: You also?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: mentioned that you experienced some hardship.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: You got to see your family come apart.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: My guess, or my assumption, is something that you experienced we'll call it a trauma built some skills or instilled some skills within you in terms of observing and studying the way people interact.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: How off base am I?
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, not very off base at all.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: A lot of things, yeah yeah.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So a little bit of background for as far as like trauma, but for me, a lot of it was actually in relationships.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: So I learned it was almost like same man, different body, just like over and over and over again.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: And I finally got to this point where I was like I know it's funny, but I finally got to this point where I was like, okay, you know, instead of it's why me, it's I'm making these decisions right, like I'm letting these people in my life, I'm allowing this to happen.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: And so what happened, is it?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: It wasn't again an opportunity for growth, because that's kind of how I reframe failure.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: But instead of saying, oh, I failed and I wasted so much time, I said, okay, what can I learn from this?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: And I literally sat down and wrote qualities that I liked, what I didn't like, and the big lesson out of that is I'm allowed to make decisions for myself and I'm allowed to ask not, do they like me, but do I like this right?
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: And so that same kind of theme, I think, is a big player in soft skill development, because it's just allowing for people to make their own decisions and to be independent.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: We don't want codependency, we don't want manipulation but unfortunately a lot of times that's what happens in corporate businesses and especially in small businesses, because everybody's wearing multiple hats.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: But a lot of the work I do is coaching business owners, executives, management and entry level to just say allow for a deeper conversation, ask the better questions and be okay with whatever someone has to say.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: If they say they don't like it, don't take it personally, sever the tie from your personal worth into what you do, so kind of connecting the dots there.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: It's just that's kind of where it started and being able to learn that my own journey and then apply it into what I was doing in the professional world.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: It happens so often that kind of I hate the word victim mentality.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: But that why me?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Instead of do I actually like this?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Just empowering yourself to say I can make my own decisions.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling it because I'm a proponent of the thinking that I contribute 100% to every success and every failure that I have.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean that it's my fault or it's all because of me that I get all the credit.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: But I did contribute in some degree.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's okay to own it.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Be proud of yourself.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the other thing you said, dating the same man in a different body, the Jesse version or the way that kind of manifests itself in Jesse land, is like for real.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: for real for about 20 years yeah I just assumed all women were crazy the problem.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: But the reality was, yeah, my picture was broken and or I still haven't proven it and I don't want to do any more research.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Like I'm fine, like I either picked crazy or I brought the crazy out in them, right.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Like I, I played a role in the thing.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you mentioned small businesses and it's my observation.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter the scale of the business.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: The bigger contributor in terms of growth and having a healthy culture is around.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: The really can be attributed to the self-awareness of the leader, or leaders, and in that line of thinking, most people, I think, like myself, said okay, I'm going to start a business because X, y, z, and then, when they got into that role, no one ever said hey, if you make people feel appreciated and communicate directly and clearly, your business is going to be successful.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Everybody talks about what's your cash flow and what's the product and what's the value to the customer and all of these things.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: So were you able to see that when you were doing your dancing?
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: And the most important question there is what style of dance were you teaching?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Hip hop?
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: No way, I'm actually.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: It's funny cause I I still dance, but I just don't do it as much.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: But I, so I, every time I go to Orlando I go take class.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: That's where I'm from, is Florida, and so I go take class and I have a class this Wednesday.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: So on the rare occasion if you have me on Facebook, you'll see once in a blue moon, I'll post a dancing video when I put myself through a class.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to find that Now.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Can you share a story of when you were babysitting and doing it?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Because, like early on, and the reason I'm picking at this is I want people to understand that these human dynamics, the observations that we make by just doing life, are a hundred percent relevant to establishing a business, leading a team, growing our influence within the industries and communities that we serve.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: So can you share a story or example when you were babysitting or running your dance lessons?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: That lesson stuck and you carry forward and teach the professionals that you serve now.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: It's more so with the dancing.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: And I'll say it's probably the best thing that I could have ever done and the best education I ever got, because I mean, I was teaching big high school dance teams so I was dealing a lot with all ages, from three years old to 40, 50 years old.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: So I had all these different classes with all these different backgrounds, perspectives, people, advanced levels, beginner levels, people that couldn't step touch.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: You know they couldn't, couldn't stay on beat, and you know so.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Then I had people who had been dancing their whole life and you know I felt unqualified to teach them.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: People who had been dancing their whole life and you know I felt unqualified to teach them.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: So it was the best lesson because I was able to really practice that skill of listening, practice that skill of asking them questions.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: So the self-determination theory, which is what I base, everything off of.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of that I?
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: have not Okay.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: So self-determination theory is just when someone can find their own solution, they're more inclined to seek out the solution and repeat it and make the change.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: So I learned that early on and that helped me in teaching dance, because instead of me just doing it for them, I got to empower them to do it themselves.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: And what was really cool too, because on a dance team, when they're performing, everybody has to look the same, they have to work together.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: There were tricks.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Everybody had to trust each other.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: So those skill sets of like teaching, trust and teaching from people that didn't know each other or they were in high school and they all hated each other.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: You know, it was just so many good lessons of like trust, team building, listening skills, having to teach one set of moves to 100 different bodies that have different learning skills, that have different patterns of.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: One person could pick it up and they're good, they could leave, you know, the other person's.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I need this every single day for 30 days until I get it.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: So really being able to learn that in the body first makes team dynamics in the workplace for me so much easier, because I'm like listen, I don't have to teach you how to do a backflip.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: So we're this is easy.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: So it's just things like that that, I just think, really set me up to be able to execute this kind of stuff very well.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: And it's cool when you look back, cause that I would never think that would have helped me.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: When you look back now, it's's wow, thank you for putting me through that.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, it's like similar.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: A lot of the feedback I get is around the type of questions I ask and like understanding things around people and what they're thinking.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, how do you do that as well?
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: It came from a time when I used to use my powers for evil Like I was-.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: It's like tipping the scale on this side and then you gotta go the other way, yeah yeah, so we can totally make it work for us, and I think that's the main point I wanna hammer home folks out there that are listening.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: We are building transferable skills and for me, anyways, the most important ones are the ones around connecting with other human beings.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: The other stuff is copy paste.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Do you agree that, like the business systems, the processes, the methods can be copy paste if you have the skill set to connect with people, understand people and serve them?
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, a hundred percent.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: And that's why people who just hire business consultants no hate for business consultants, they're awesome People who only find that don't see a lot of success because you have to pull in these different parts to really make it work.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Like you said, that connection pieces.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: It could completely change your business 100%.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: So the self-determination theory.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: How does that play itself out in the way you serve your clients?
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: So this is literally how we serve clients in every aspect.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: So really being able to take that approach of I'm not going to tell you what to do and I always tell people I'm like I'm not Jesus, I'm a shepherd, so I'm going to, I'm going to walk you through it.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to solve all your problems, but why this is so impactful is because, I mean, just think of all the times you've gotten advice from friends when you didn't want it.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: A lot of times we just want to vent.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: We've all done that.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: We call a friend, we just wanted to vent.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: We didn't say that at first.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: So then they're solving all our problems and we're like I don't care, I'll figure it out.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: And so that, but it doesn't change.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: It doesn't change and for a lot of people they just want to know that they're heard, they're seen and they're valued and that skill it's almost like training the trainer, like we teach people how to do that, so that they can facilitate deeper conversations, which drives better connection with their team members, because a lot of times their team members just want to vent and they're definitely qualified to solve problems, but we as leaders jump in into the problem solving first off.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: And then what does that make the team member feel this big?
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yes, so help me out with this.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: This is an assumption that I've been chewing on for a little bit, specifically around the minimizing, or the minimization that our solutionizing has on people, and I call it solution shanking.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Right, if you come to me with a problem and I give you an answer, I'm shanking you with mine because I'm smart, or whatever.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Really, it's kind of programming from the conditions that we're in, where we believe the leader has to have all the answers and it's okay for them to say I don't know, or what do you think?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: What?
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: have you tried Better that?
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: way.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: What I think I see is when I respond to somebody giving them my super awesome advice right, my genius solution to their thing is, I think they're experiencing judgment.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I think that they feel like, oh, that person just assumed that I'm a dodo head and I don't have the agency to work through this thing.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: So because they're judging me, that means they don't like me, and because they don't like me, well, hell, I don't like them back.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: What do you think Is that?
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: too elementary.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: No, everything that we experience when we're younger, it completely translates to the workplace.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: That does not change it really does not.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: How we learn, how we implement, how we interact with people that minimizing the best way to lose your team is to solve their problems like a thousand percent and it's the longer path.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: That's why a lot of people don't take it and that's why a lot of people aren't successful in team dynamics because they're not willing to do what is required and they're not willing to take the long path.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: So next time someone says how do you do this?
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Ask a question, offer an opportunity, open the conversation and take some time, because at the end of the day, your people are qualified and we just have to empower them to be independent problem solvers, which is easier said than done.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: It's work, it's an investment and it's a tough one.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, time investment, energy investment, the return on it is like flat and let it dip.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Let the production and efficacy dip, because when it comes back up it's a straight line up right.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: When we help our people build their agency, their comfort with autonomy and exercise their critical thinking, the return on that is enormous.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So you said long term, right the long path.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: How does Victoria apply that in her business with her people?
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, it takes a lot of patience.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Like I will say, patience is something that I get to.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: I get to exercise a lot, but even like in our coaching calls, cause we have four coaches, we're onboarding a couple more and we have a monthly call.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: So even in that it's you know being able to even do some role play, you know opening up for conversations, for questions.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: How can I support you?
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: What do you need?
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: And not assuming that they need some things to be able to learn or solve problems.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: So it's really circumstantial, but I would say, like, how can I support you?
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: I say that a lot and I always tell my clients to say that too, if they don't know what else to say.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, how do they respond?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: How do your clients respond when you say ask this question.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: How can I support you?
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: It's half and half.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Some of them are excited.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: They're like, wow, that feels great, I can lean on that, that's a great resource.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: And the other ones are like, well, my people don't know how to support themselves.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: So then we have the other side of it.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I know where we have to kind of be like, well, yes, they were hired to do a job, we have to allow them to do their job.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: So I get kind of two sides of the coin.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if you've heard of the emotional bungee jumpers.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: We have the online community, or helping people kind of deal with these, actually practice these things, and we always have a monthly challenge.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: One of the monthly challenges was to ask at least three people how can I better serve you?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: What do you think about that?
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: How does that land?
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that because it's like you could say how can I support you?
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: But then it's how can I serve you?
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Really puts you in a position of it's like the support versus help, Like how can I help you?
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Well, don't ever say that, how can I support you, how can I serve you?
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Like just deeper, deeper, deeper connection to say I am here for you, not the other way around.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, exactly.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: And so the interesting thing is, the group is like some courageous radical people that are willing to sign up for something called emotional bungee jumpers right, yeah.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: A few of them ask the question, but they change the words and they admit it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: They're like it was just really uncomfortable to ask how can I serve you?
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I was like that was the point.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: They say how can I help you?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: You're like no, no, no, no, no, the whole point is serve.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: They say how can I help you?
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: You're like no, no, no, no, no.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: The whole point is serve Now the people you have.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: How often do they come back and say I asked them, how can I support them?
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: And they're not giving me good answers.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Do you get that?
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Or they don't know how to respond to that question Do you get that ever?
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we get that a lot, because a lot of times, well, most people don't act like this, right, they don't ask these questions, they don't lean into this.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: So it is a new concept for a lot of leaders and managers and even entry-level people asking their leaders that how can I support you?
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: So a lot of times we get back well, they just didn't say anything, and so what I recommend is say, okay, that's okay, Think about it, come back 48 hours later and give me a couple different solutions that you're weighing and I'll help walk you through.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: So being able to make it again.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Sitting in that facilitator seat, versus the problem solver seat, you're being a guide, because the definition of leadership is to guide and inspire, it's not to solve all the problems.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness, yes.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, google it, look it up.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I promise I'm not lying yeah.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: So you touched on it, but I'm going to pick it a.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: We respond to how can I support you or serve you?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Like when we're being asked that question, why do you think people kind of like oh, I don't know, Like, why do you think they get back on their heels?
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I think it's because it's one, it's gentle, two, it's kind and three, it's sincere.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: And so I think a lot of people aren't used to those kinds of interactions with people, especially in this day and age.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: It's so transactional, everything.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Also everything's virtual, so it's really hard to understand if you're doing that in person.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: It almost feels like vulnerable.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: And so then people are like I don't know, no one's ever asked me that before.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: I don't know how can you know?
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: They don't even ask themselves that.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: So being able to answer that they go through tasks instead of more emotional support, it takes a little bit longer, and I would just encourage people to just keep asking that person how can I support you?
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Come back in a couple of days and let me know it's hard.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's so rare that we don't know how.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: In my head it's kind of like wait a minute.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: You're treating me like a human, not an avatar.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hold on, wait a minute you're treating me like a human, not an avatar.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hold on.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: What happened here.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to answer this question.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just start crying.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you said that how many times have you been working with somebody?
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: And we'll, just for anonymity, we'll say all the way back to when you were teaching people to dance to now how many times have you been serving somebody with your special gifts and talents and there were tears involved.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: A lot.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I guess that vulnerability where, because a lot of what we practice and what we teach is also self-leadership.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: And so you know, for me, because of the things that I learned that I now implement with my clients, it's you have to get this right first before you ask anything of anybody else.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: And so with self-leadership, you know it's emotional, it's vulnerable.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I mean, even at our event, at that Women Confidence event that we met, my little time on stage I went through my conflict resolution one, two, three thing.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: I had a couple of people come up to me and they were emotional because they're like I never thought about it like that and that's such a vulnerable way to think about it.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: So that vulnerability just if you get, you can get it at the wrong time with somebody and you just have to, you know, let them get it out.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Give them space to to feel and be where they're at.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Uh, vulnerability I'm a huge advocate for vulnerability.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that I did it until a bunch of people told me you do vulnerability.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like what is that, anyhow?
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: And so my most vulnerable times are when I'm on stage, and here's why.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: So I got to emcee that event, which was like super awesome because there were hundreds and hundreds of baller professional yeah like oh my god, I'm getting thrown out almost 500.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: You were very brave and in a room with high-powered women that are like making things happen.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I was worried that I bombed.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So I got to ask you, Victoria, did I bomb or was it okay?
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: No, you did amazing and it's fun because a lot of times when you go to things like that, like luncheons or it's really stuffy and so being able to have somebody like you, that's like full of energy and it's lively, it makes it less like eyes glazed over you know, especially during lunch, because you're eating and you're sitting and you're sitting for an hour and it's like words and this and this and that.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: So no, you did a great job.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: You're welcome.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: You know it's kind of hard to tell now.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're running your business and we keep talking about the women's confidence builder.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: There's some other amazing women that are associated with that movement.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Who are they?
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I think I might know them.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know a few of them.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Christy Powell owns it.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: So her and Angela Gardner actually own Women Talk Construction.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: And then Christy started Women Confidence Builders to just help bring women together in a room and teach the younger generation how women should interact with each other.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, a lot of times women at all ages we just have this kind of jealousy thing going on and we're kind of taught that and if you're in the wrong environment growing up, you're really taught the wrong way.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: And so the goal is for Christie to be able to just empower the next generation to support and love each other, and that just because the next person is winning, that doesn't mean that they're your competition.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: It means they're your advocate and they're your goal and inspiration and you want to attach to that person.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, amazing, and you're a big part of the organization.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: You're like on the board, yes, and y'all are doing beautiful, amazing, phenomenal things.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and what came across like what I got to feel and experience in that space was exactly what you're talking about.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: It wasn't competition, it was collaboration.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like son of a gun.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, there it is.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: This is what it feels like and what it looks like when people come together to celebrate and support one another.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: And if there was somebody there that was like of the competitive mindset and I say competitive from the perspective of where I used to come from, I love to win it used to mean I'm going to beat your ass.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: That's not the same.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: The dance world too.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Same Competition.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: That is not the same as let's win together.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Let's collaborate, learn from each other, speak into each other's lives and go forward.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: My point is, if somebody was at that luncheon that had that mindset, they would have stood out like a sore thumb.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Well, they would have left, Right.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: What is this?
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: I'm out, yeah.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Now you mentioned Women Talk Construction.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: They've got the podcast right.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I got to be one of the early, early weirdos that was on the interviews.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I just did one.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: That was awesome.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Was it fun.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was fun.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: They're great hosts.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Like you, you're a great host, really great asking questions.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, they're awesome.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: You know, when they interviewed me, girl, because of their tone and just the air, they could have asked me for my PIN number and my social security number and I would have given it to them.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I felt like I was at home.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I need them on my sales team, yeah.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so they're on the socials.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: You mentioned that you kind of entered the work as an adult in marketing et cetera.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: So social media, you're on the socials.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I know you're on Facebook, I know you're on Instagram, I know you're on LinkedIn.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Where else are you?
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: We have one video on YouTube that's about it.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: But yeah, social media is Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and then YouTube, so we'll maybe grow that.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: We'll see how things go.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, the L&M family right and I've got to give them some action, so they need to come follow you on Instagram, on LinkedIn on.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: YouTube let's watch the video and share the video and while you're there, you can like and follow Learnings and Missteps.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Also, give us a shout out, share, et cetera.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're almost.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: We're coming up on time.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I promised I wouldn't just jab my jaws the whole time, but you mentioned before I hit record that you're like growing at this crazy pace.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, and often when we're in the middle of this type of experience, where we're growing faster than we were prepared for, it's painful, it's difficult, which means there are important, deep, valuable lessons.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, what?
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Do you have?
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: One or two of those deep, valuable lessons that you want to share, that you could share and enlighten the L&M family with?
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how much time do you have today?
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Well, so I think the biggest thing that I learned before because I've had kind of exponential growth before not quite to this level, but one of the main things that I learned then that I remembered to implement, which has helped this transition, is document your processes.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Document your processes that is how I created a curriculum is actually just from documenting my process from past clients and I realized I had a curriculum and so this really helped being able to pull on past processes to edit and adjust instead of creating from nothing.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: So document your process.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: If I could pick one, that's the one.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: You know it doesn't sound sexy, but yes.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: It creates so much more time on your calendar that's gifted to you by just saying oh wait, how did I do that?
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: It's almost like SOPs Just create a quick one, Make a note, Put it in a folder.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to be like big, super detailed.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: There's not a minimum word count.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Bullet point.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Just get it out of your head.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Bullet points yeah.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Very bullet points.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Very helpful.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: I know it's a hard thing to remember.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, it's not sexy, but it helps.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Absolutely Okay.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: So I got the big question and I'm really curious about what it's going to be, because you have been extremely impactful and I think you'll continue to be.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: What is the promise you are intended to be?
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: The promise I'm intended to be.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, ma'am.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: What does that mean Like a goal?
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is such a big question.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Give me context.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, context.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I believe that we're all blessed with gifts and talents and our purpose to be here on this rock is to share those gifts and talents with others.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: The process of sharing those is that promise.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, I got it.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Thank you my brain's.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: What was that, gosh?
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: The purpose, so our mission statement, is to create a ripple effect of positive change.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: But if we like, chop that up into not so fancy words, it really like the purpose and passion that God's kind of planted on me is just let people know it's okay.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: And that's something that I struggled with, that I went through, and that's that core belief of knowing you're going to be okay and there's no really like right or wrong.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: A lot of times in decision making it can feel very heavy because decidere the Latin version of decision, where it's from means to cut off, and so a lot of times when we are in decision making it can feel really heavy, but just know like, at the end of the day, you are okay, your people are going to be okay, just live life.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Everything is a learning lesson and that is how you create a ripple effect of positive change, because you're not adding weight to people and you're not manipulating them, pressuring them, but just really empowering independence in yourself and everybody else.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: And we lead through example.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: So you have to do it in yourself first.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: That last one, that's the mic drop.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Don't go fix nobody until you fix them Exactly.