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121: Skye Eddy - From Professional Soccer to Empowering Parents in Youth Sports and Real Estate Success · Career Clarity with Athletes: A 2ndwind Podcast with Ryan Gonsalves

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: So emotionally as those deals fell through, to move overseas and play what was the hardest part for you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What was that like?
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: It was so hard, it was so embarrassing too.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it was a lot of social stress.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: I was feeling Like, literally, my Sweden contract fell through the day before I was supposed to go.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Like my team had a big going away party for me and then I'm still here.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: You know, and it was also me and you know there's so many parallels in my life about like going against the grain or people not necessarily believing in you, even like my family.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: My parents were supportive of it, but I remember my aunts being like why are you doing that?
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: You know, so there was a lot of lack of support and I was kind of going against the grain and it felt like this mission that I was on and it felt like a massive failure.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Ryan Gonsalves and welcome to a Second Wind Academy podcast, a show all about career transition through the lens of elite athletes.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Each week, I invite a guest to the show who shares their unique sporting story.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Please join me to delve into the thoughts and actions of athletes through a series of conversations.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Don't worry, there's plenty to learn from those of you that aren't particularly sporty.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Elite athletes are still people after all.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Let's be inspired by the stories of others.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Skye, welcome to the show.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It's great to have you on here today.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for having me.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to the conversation.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Excellent, and we were just chatting earlier how normally or frequently we have long time athletes who have had extensive careers and things on the show and talk about their transition to that life after sport You're going to bring.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: The beautiful thing about having you on today is you're going to bring a slightly different twist to that.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Certainly talk through your career, but very much about what you're doing today and how you're setting yourself up.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: That's probably some of the key bits I'm really looking forward to, so we can kind of just dive straight in.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds good, let's go.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Awesome Skye.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: For those who don't know who you are, please can you just give us an introduction.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Tell us who you are and what you are up to today.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: For sure.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: So I have founded a company called Soccer Parenting about 12 years ago now that I originally was operating more as a passion project but it's certainly turned into a full-time job in the last couple of years, especially kind of in startup mode now.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: But we's certainly turned into a full-time job in the last couple of years, especially kind of in startup mode now.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: But we're working at the intersection of coaches and parents and organizational leaders, really trying to ensure that kids are inspired by their sporting experience I think is the easiest way to put it and really, really excited about the work that we're doing and the impact that we're having.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Actually on that, how do you describe the impact that you're having?
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you'd think, with a company named Soccer Parenting, that the majority of my work, ryan, is with soccer parents, football parents, and of course that's a lot of the work that we do.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: But there's a lot of impact that we're having with coaches as well.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: So I spend a lot of my time doing coach education around topics related to parents, whether that be parent engagement or emotional intelligence and coaching, helping coaches kind of work through any stressors that they have that are holding them back from having great interactions with the players that they're working with.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: So the impact is with coaches and then the feedback that we get from parents consistently is so important.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Just, you know, helping them have better relationships with their children is probably the easiest way to put it.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: But also, you know, there's a lot of stress that's inherently built into our youth sports structures globally right now and giving parents an opportunity to navigate that stress with a little bit more ease and support and thoughtful guidance, you know, I know, is making an impact ultimately in kids staying involved in sport.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I've focused on and thought that there was a need to have someone to focus in this area, whereas as I listened to you, I think, yeah, that's a, that's a good thing, that's a good way to, that's a good, good piece to do.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: What inspired you to to start that program?
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know we'll get into my my playing career.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: But you know, as a former professional player and as an active coach, I have my B license from US soccer.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: So I worked my way through the coaching pathways.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I've coached at all levels of the game, from recreational level kids with my children when they were little, up until our national team programs, and so I have a big coaching background as well and I consider myself a really good parent.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I felt like I was showing up for my kids.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Well, we had a really good family structure and then enter youth soccer for my daughter and I really struggled and I knew that with my playing background and my background in the game that if this was hard for me, that it was definitely hard for a lot of other parents, definitely hard for a lot of other parents.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: And so you know, like a lot of good companies are born out of a problem that nobody's solving, I decided to dive in and really really jump in fully clothed into the pool.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: It sometimes felt like because immediately I felt and realized and just was hearing feedback from people on what an extensive need there was.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: The coach parent relationship is such a stress for coaches and we've really had to dive in.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I definitely feel like I'm a social scientist at times, trying to dive into the nuance of this relationship and the history of it, the potential of it and really working to solutionize around the concept of parents and coaches.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: You've really got me thinking.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And so me.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I'm involved in my club and 2,000 players, 2,500 players at the club, so it's sizable.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: There's an army of volunteers, parent volunteers, who are involved.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: There are some teams run by parents, some teams run by paid coaches who go again, like you say, with the variance licenses, and there is so much friction that takes place during training but certainly during game time, with opposition.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: And you're quite right, it is a problem, right, and it's just quite amazing, like you say, to build a business around that problem that we all kind of just accept and walk through, yet think something has to be done.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: So it's great that you are doing it, thanks.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: You know, that's our athletic background, coming full swing, Like I decided to tackle something and just wouldn't give up on it, even when it was hard, and everyone thought I was myself crazy for trying to trying to figure this out.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Because historically, you know, parents have been so vilified and use sports and it's the parents fault.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: The parents are living vicariously through their child.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: There's so much negative messaging around parents that we really have just taken to be truth and it's unfortunate because the vast majority of parents in all sports are level-headed, they're stressed and they just need some support and guidance and need clarity on the boundaries of that relationship.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, we're trying to make it happen.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Well, we'll probably come back a bit more to how you have set that up and how you're moving forward and look at some of those, the skills that you bring to that.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: So let's then take it back and look a bit of your history then, or your background.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: To what extent was well, I guess, sport, but soccer in particular, important to you as you grew up?
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: I grew up in the game, meaning I started playing soccer when I was very young.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: I'm older.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to say that I'm 52.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: So when I was growing up, you know, soccer was a new sport in the United States but thankfully, with a law called Title IX that is, a federal law that required schools give equal access to boys and girls I had access to sport.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: The community where I grew up in was very sporty and general.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: It was a very recreational-led community with fields and pools everywhere, and so soccer was something that I started playing, probably when I was five.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: My older brother played and it was something that I just gravitated to immediately and always felt a deep connection.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm a goalkeeper in soccer and I was always a goalkeeper.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: My brother's goalkeeper on his team, Kenrick Kessler, was like somebody that I totally looked up to and wanted to emulate so from the beginning.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: But I also played a lot of other sports.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I was a gymnast and play and participated pretty competitively up until middle school and then I was a track athlete through high school and thought quite a bit about running in college but ultimately decided to just focus on soccer as I as I transitioned into college.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: And so as you grew up, like you say, was I love how you said you're old and I guess everything is relative.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: We're probably a lot, but when you then think about aspirations as a young girl getting into soccer, where did you think it could go?
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: What did you dream to become through soccer?
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Ryan, that's such a good question because you have to understand there was no professional soccer in the world at this point, like the idea of being a professional athlete didn't even exist, and so there really wasn't a conceptualization for that idea for me.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: As a young athlete I knew that I was a really gifted athlete.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I always really identified as an athlete.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Even young ages I was the athlete.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: So I guess it's like I didn't dream of growing up to be a professional athlete.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: I had like pictures of Peter Schmeichel all over my room Like I was emulating other male professional athletes.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: But because this really wasn't a path for women when I was young and then when I got into high school, later years of high school league started opening up.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: There was a league in Sweden that gained some popularity and I ended up going and playing in Italy.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: And when I was on our youth national teams and playing in Italy in high school, there were two women that were Americans that were there and playing Granted, they were working in a factory during the day and playing with a team at night in April and Megan and they came and spoke to us and like the path was clear for me, like oh, this is something I could do.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Wow, I could go and live in Italy, I could go be in Europe was like, so feel it's such a deep connection to and continue this, and so I think that's probably having Megan and April come and speak to the regional team when we were there really made a big difference.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Wow, and so that was you mentioned.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: That was that you were at high school eight I, where you met them or you saw those, and they became real life role models because they were actually living it.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: They were doing that dream, or at least they were doing it, and that created a dream perhaps here, and I need to give them a shout out for that, because now that I think about it, that definitely shifted my path, shifted my thinking just a little bit.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: At that point we were just College.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Soccer was just starting in the US and super available for women.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: When I went to college I think there were 50 or so teams in the United States.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: When I graduated there were well over 200.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: So there was this big shift in growth and in the US the college game is really kind of that pre-professional pathway.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Unlike other countries around the world, the college game is really the most competitive or was, up until that point, the most competitive arena.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it was, and, look, I guess it continues to be a high level of competition across all those levels now.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And as you say there was, you know, the beautiful thing about as you were coming through the sport is the sport was exploding as well, certainly for women was exploding, and that participation increased.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess then it sounds like it was at that moment where that dream became well, almost tangible and a bit of a reality.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: When did you realize then that you were going to be good enough to sort of make regional teams, national teams and start pushing forward?
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And how did that impact on your academic focus?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I always felt good enough, right.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I mean we have to be confident and it was interesting.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I mean I was always in that mix, right.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: So even from a young age, I was always one of the top goalkeepers in the United States.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I was kind of in that mix.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I will say I never played for the US Women's National Team, so I never did realize that ultimate dream and have an opportunity.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: But, that being said, the NCAA puts lots of bumpers on the amount of hours and time you can spend as an athlete with your team in college.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: So to your point about the questions about focusing on academics versus school.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I had an incredible degree from the University of Massachusetts with a great program in sport management that really set me up for future careers, and I didn't even know that sport management was an opportunity or there was an opportunity there at UMass.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: It was a major that I just sort of found after I enrolled in school there.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: But academics was always important to me.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: But I look back on my grades and if my kids came home with those grades I might be giving them a talking to.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: So I always did well in school, but I balanced everything out.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: I wasn't one of those athletes or those people that were overly concerned with my grades.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I knew I could get things done.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I knew I could succeed, but I also realized, you know, I had a lot of things to balance through the college process.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And so for you, as you started, certainly as you hit the college level, where did you then want to get to in the game?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: What became your new target or aspiration?
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: It was the national team forever, like that was what I would write on my notebooks USWNT, hic, like US Women's National Team.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Here I come, like that was my aspiration, that was what, and because, quite frankly, the concept for a professional career was still definitely not happening in the United States and it was very nuanced.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: There just wasn't a lot of information.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I wasn't quite sure, but for me, everything was gearing up to being on the US Women's National Team.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: That was absolutely my goal and my dream and where my focus was.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: It's interesting that not focused on the professional, focused on the national team.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: That's a really high goal, isn't it?
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but there wasn't an in-between so there really wasn't a choice.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: It's like you know, I graduated college as a first team All-American.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: I was MVP of the Final Four, like I was the best player in the nation and that was essentially the very last game that I ever played, if I hadn't years later gone overseas and had this experience in Italy.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: And now what's so exciting is that there's a draft for women out of college.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: We have the NWSL here in the United States, which is the most competitive professional league in the world for women, and had I come up 15, 20 years later, my experience would have been totally different.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Of course, you can't second guess that.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: You can't have any regrets in that For me.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: I just have so much joy and excitement to see the opportunities that are globally in the global leagues that are evolving for women professional footballers.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: It's such a thrilling time and so much has happened in my generation in the game and in the growth of the game.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: It's something that brings me lots of, lots of joy for the women right now and of course there's these little tinges of like.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Why do I have that available to me?
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, you know, I do feel like people of my generation and the generations before have really laid the groundwork for what's happening right now, so it's it's really exciting to see absolutely, I think you have.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: You're quite right, you nailed it there yourself.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Previous generations laid the foundations and, as we'll kind of get to became, are the parents of the current crop of players coming through.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: And what I recognize in that is the passion you had for the game is then.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I can only think of the word bestowed but that seems way too elegant a word, but it's just passed on to, has just been passed on to your children.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: It's like, hey, we're watching the game.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: The kids will watch the game, they'll get involved, they'll be able to talk about it and that sporting knowledge, that soccer knowledge, just flows through.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm curious then about you in that last game that you mentioned at college and here you talk about, well, I guess, going into that game being one of the top, being the top ranked player in the US at that moment, and thinking this is your last game, what was that like?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Well, at that point I had aspirations to play professionally.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Like the league in Sweden was pretty clear and coming around, there was a great league in Japan, the J League, and, to be clear, to be fair, like I was on the path to the national team, like this was to me this was going to be my career, because this was the only career that was viable and you could have a clear path for would be with the US Women's National Team.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: So I didn't go into that game.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, I felt like my last college game, for sure, but I never thought in the middle of that game or as we were walking out to the field or afterwards, like this was it, this was the end of my playing career.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: It never felt like that, for sure.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: So for you, how was that shift from collegiate player to, I guess, becoming a professional player?
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: What was that shift like?
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: What was that mental shift like for you, so when I graduated, shortly after I graduated or I finished playing, I signed a contract to go play in the J League.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: That then fell through, or actually I ended that contract to go play in Sweden and then that fell through at the very last minute.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: So I had all of these things stacked up to happen and then both of them fell through and so then I got a job.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I got a great job in soccer and was loving my job and kind of balancing between playing here locally, playing in a semi pro women's team in Philadelphia.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Like had some different opportunities.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: But athletically I became the fittest I've ever been.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: I was working harder than I had ever worked.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I was so dedicated to this path to the women's national team for those few years just out of college and I mean that's the top and you know it really just never played out for me.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I never had the opportunity that I wanted, and no regrets on that you can look back.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I can look back and understand opportunity that I wanted and no regrets on that you can look back.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I can look back and understand.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Understand the whys behind it.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I was on quite of a journey as an athlete and especially when it's at that level.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: there's just really a handful of goalkeepers that they're considering well, that's right and, as you mentioned earlier, there wasn't really a middle ground that in.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: There wasn't really a.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just play pro.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: It's cool.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: We just get 30 40 games as pro a season and you get drafted into the national team.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: But what you described is it was national or semi-professional at best, right yeah, and it became really obvious to me that the path to the national team it was always a dream that I had and part of why years later I did decide to move to Italy, because I thought that that could maybe restart this path for me developmentally and kind of put me back in the mix as far as that was concerned.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: So emotionally as those deals fell through, to move overseas and play what was the hardest part for you.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: What was that like?
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: It was so hard, it was so embarrassing too.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it was a lot of social stress.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: I was feeling like, literally, my Sweden contract fell through the day before I was supposed to go, like my team had a big going away party for me and then I'm still here, you know, and it was also me and, and you know, there's so many parallels in my life about like going against the grain or people not necessarily believing in you, even like my family.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: My parents were supportive of it, but I remember my aunts being like why are you doing that?
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: You know so.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: So there was a lot of lack of support and I was kind of going against the grain and it felt like this, this mission that I was on, and it felt like a massive failure.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it definitely was not an easy time in my life, especially when I did have so many aspirations.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: This was literally four months after that national championship game, maybe five that all of this was playing out for me and it really I didn't have an agent, I didn't have people supporting me.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I was, I was trying to figure this out on my own, literally like find teams and who should I call and who could I call and who has a contact and it was a really kind of piecemeal process to try to keep playing it.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: It definitely was not easy.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: You talk about that period.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: You know not being easy, and I say thanks for sharing that.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I'm curious, then, how you managed to get through that period.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I have incredible support from my family, like, my parents are rock stars and so I was living with them.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I was just out of college, you know, obviously, and I was thinking about going overseas, so I just stayed living with them after university and getting the job really helped.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: So I really got a fantastic job working for a soccer manufacturer that I and it was.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: It was a job that was that I loved, that was challenging me, so that definitely helped shift a lot of my energy from the sadness, this feeling of failure, to okay, now this is something that's good, that's in my life.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I think that definitely helped me, help me get through.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: You know when I think, when you're faced with those situations, and you know just the people that you surround yourself with your friends, the support system that you have, being able to talk honestly about how you're feeling in those moments and being able to be really vulnerable with people.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: You know, as an athlete, we don't think about being vulnerable, but really these were big moments that it was really just through some vulnerable conversations with people that I trusted that I think I was able to kind of keep pushing forward.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Wonderful.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and listen.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing that as well.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I think, from what I've mentioned, many people I speak with and work with in the area they talk about not talking, not sharing, and you know needing then that support network where they can be vulnerable and open up, and it's you know through that that they tend to find that path forward or things start to become clearer about what that next step is.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: And so for you you mentioned, next desire came on.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Next opportunity came that you started to seek to move you overseas.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: What was the inspirational driving force towards that?
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: It was really two things, like, if I look back on it, it was my last ditch effort to put myself back in the mix with the national team.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: So I knew that I needed to do something special to get the attention and also to get the experiences like playing is doing a lot of coaching at that point.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: That's just not going to cut it.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: And I knew, I knew, knew that I needed games Like I'm a goalkeeper and I can train, I get people to shoot at me all day long and I can make incredible saves.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: But I knew that I needed the in game experience of decision-making in real time in order to get back into the mix.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: And so you know, that was really a sort of a driving focus for me as I move forward.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: I don't remember your question, though.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry I got sidetracked on that.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: There might've been more to answer there.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: You answered the question because I wanted to know what inspired you to move and you opened up with it.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: It was that bitch, it was the moment and you needed game time.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: You know, I think often we, we, we, we often forget that we love playing the game, so we better play it.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: That's what becomes important.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Good players play.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Also, that opportunity was afforded to me through my job.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: So my job was I was working for Lanzara and they did a lot of manufacturing in Italy and just quite randomly, so I had this Italian connection through my job.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: And then my goalkeeper coach out of college was a wine distributor in Northeast Italy.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: He was Italian himself and he met the owner of a winery who sponsored the team that I ultimately went and played for.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: So I don't know, I wasn't like actively, like looking for an opportunity, but it just sort of appeared to me.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: With all of these connections to Italy and then my previous experience playing in Italy, where I just loved, loved the country and the people, I felt very compelled to go and experience Italy more.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: So really those two things is what kind of compelled me to move forward with that experience.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: It's just my desire to have adventure and put myself back in the mix with the US.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I love that Skye.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: That's super fascinating how the job that you had to fall back onto actually led to that opportunity and that came around through this, these chance meetings Absolutely love that story.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I'm quoting that.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to quote that tomorrow as I'm speaking to a group of individuals.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to be using that.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I think that's fantastic.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Still, how did you get I think that's brave for you to then get on a plane, travel across the world to go and do that.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Where did that bravery come from?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: adventuring is in my DNA, like there's.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: There's just something about travel that I just love and experiencing the world, the work that I'm doing now with soccer parenting.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: When somebody asked me, like on a big picture, what are you trying to do?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: And I say I am trying to bring the world together through football and there's something that's so powerful about the ability of sport to connect people.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: So there's definitely this built into me.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: But it was crazy what I did.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Like I literally sold everything.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I sold my car, I sold all of my possessions that I didn't and it puts them in storage and then got on a plane with two big bags to a country where I didn't speak any of the language.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: I didn't even know who was picking me up and in.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I literally didn't know if Chow man, hello or goodbye.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: When I got on this plane and I just got in a dictionary and I learned the language and had the most incredible.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Only like four and a half months is as long as this lasted and we could talk about the story, but it was truly a transformational.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: If you look back on the arc of my life, there is like a huge asterisk.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: That happened in 1997 when I was living in tabernacle and playing in in udine and playing for tabernacle feminine yeah, that's, it sounds great.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, like you say, that bravery to get on the plane and just to have that driving force to say, yeah, I'm going to make this work, this is going to happen.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that takes a lot.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: That takes a lot as you look back, you know, you say it was such an important arc, such an important moment.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Do you feel that is part of you, that sort of bravery, that dynamism to say you know what?
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to give it a shot.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: There are moments that I have when I'm doing my work with soccer parenting, where I can see, oh, this same journey this is all has built up to what I'm doing now and there's this sense of even what I'm doing at Soccer Parenting being brave, like tackling an issue and getting into conversation and forcing people to think about things that they haven't.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: So there's definitely sort of that compelling narrative to my life, if you will.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: It's definitely something that gives me lots of energy too.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I think we need to be doing things where we've received energy, and certainly that type of venturing kind of puts me on the edge.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now, because you mentioned it, it's going to be remiss of me not to jump back and just say four and a half months.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: What's the story there?
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: It's such a great story on so many levels, so it was nothing like a professional.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: It was really, quite frankly, at that point, fifa did not recognize the Italian league, nor any of these leagues, I don't think, as technically professional leagues, so I had a contract that it turned into not working out.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: I was literally begging the owner of the team for money.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I would go and ask for my money and they'd say, oh, let me take you out to dinner, and then they take me to this fancy dinner with a single guy.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: That was like hitting on me the whole time just so that I could try to get some money.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: It was so not okay on so many levels.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: But, that being said, you know, they put me up in a hotel, a dimorette, and I had all of my food at the hotel, so I was pretty well taken care of.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I did get my money now and then from them, but it was always a stress that I literally was like just not having what I needed.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I will say, though, one of the things that was amazing, ryan, was that Udinese men lived in the hotel as well, so all of the men that were coming in on trial or hadn't sorted out their housing lived in the hotel and they the Udinese team ate all their meals at the hotel.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: And so I found myself right in the middle of Syria Amin's football and, for whatever reason, these men took me under their wing, would buy me gear.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: The goalkeeper, max, would like use his old sport contract to get me all the gear that I needed.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: They would take me out all the time so I could write a book.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: If I had taken more notes, it would be an incredible book Because, again, this is in 1997.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: This is a while ago and this is pre-internet.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't have a cell phone, I didn't have any way of communicating, it was AOL dial-up internet at this point.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: So I was very, very isolated and ultimately became quite homesick and quite lonely.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I loved my teammates.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: I went back to Utena last year with my son and we had a great experience together with them and but it was much different.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Culturally, you know, I had very little in common with my teammates, who were largely growing up and playing football and had this dream of their own.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: But it was essentially like what was in the U US, although I will say I learned so much about the game, about defensive structure, when I graduated college.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: We played man marking with a sweeper in Italy, obviously they're not doing that, so it was a really big learning moment.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: But my training, the real reason is that my training was all individual technical stuff and I wasn't getting the game.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: It was the same thing that I was experiencing in the US.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: I needed games.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: I needed to just play small-sided games literally every day, and I needed a different training environment.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: So ultimately, everything sort of stacked on top of each other and I had an opportunity to go home.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: They actually transferred me to a team in Germany and I ultimately decided to come home and pursue a college coaching career, right, okay.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: And I suppose that journey home.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: To what extent was that a moment or sort of this key moment for you to say, hey, this, where's the dream going?
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: What was going through your mind on that journey home?
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: It was so hard.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Like I said, I had become pretty homesick and isolated, despite having good friends there I really and I spoke Italian.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: After about two and a half months I was conversational in Italian because there was no English, except for Mohamed Gargo, who played for Udinese, and Martin Jorgensen, Thomas Helweg, who also played for Udinese at the time, from Denmark, from Ghana.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: There was some English there, which was phenomenal and so helpful for me.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: But coming home, it was truly like the darkest times of my life was the end of that, that failure of that experience and trying to restart and trying to find my way again.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: That was like the real realization that this dream that I have, this really big dream that I have, is just not going to happen.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: I'm almost tearing up right now, talking to you like because, again, the way that we frame this, because it really wasn't a professional league, this was the path to the national team.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: So it was really this reconciliation with myself that I am not going to play for the US Women's National Team that's a tough realization to have, right yeah, especially when it's yeah, when it's been so, when it's been part of you for so long.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I mean getting on planes traveling overseas, dealing with that situation, which I guess was good in the end, but the uncomfortable situations that you find yourself in in italy, all for that reason.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: But getting on that plane coming home is, to an extent, an acceptance, or yeah acceptance of okay, time to do something else it was that moving on, time to move on so you landed, you came back and you embarked on this college career uh, college coaching career.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: And so for you.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: How did that feel for you?
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I know for myself when, as coach, it's a different type of feeling to when I'm playing For you, coming so soon off the plane.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: What was that first season like for you?
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: I can look back on my life now and I can say all of this, I really believe, like this, all of this was just a stepping stone to the work that I'm doing right now.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: So the work that I'm doing right now is exactly what I was intended to do, and so I never felt that way about coaching in college.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: I actually didn't even enjoy the experience very much.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: That age group of player, that level, was not ultimately coaching wise.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: What really fulfilled me and it wasn't the best experience for me, when I came back from Italy, I actually had a couple of job opportunities and it was a big divergence of what I'm going to do.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I had an opportunity to go work with Nike out on the West Coast, which was another big move.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: I had this coaching opportunity in Richmond, virginia, where I am now, which was just an hour or two away from my family, and then I was also pursuing a job working in the men's pro league and MLS in like a sales type capacity or something like that within ticket sales.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: So I had a few different opportunities and ultimately decided to move here to Richmond and, like I said, I didn't necessarily it was not.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: I enjoyed it, it was fine and it wasn't like I was miserable by any means, but I personally I think a lot of athletes get into coaching right after their professional career.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: It's a natural path to find themselves in and ultimately, what I know about myself and coaching is that I actually prefer the little kids.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I prefer the way that you're expressing the game to them and helping them find their expression of the game is a really compelling opportunity for me as a coach.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: So ultimately I found my coaching sweet spot, which I think is hard for some people to find.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: We have this tendency to think it has to be professional, it has to be at the highest level, and ultimately I coached at those levels and I do love this younger age.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: We would make a great coaching team, Sky, because you've hit that sort of age bracket that I love as well, that developmental stage where I also feel like they're finding their passion for the game.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: They're no longer being brought around as the six, seven year old hey, go, have fun.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: And it happens to be a round ball that you're playing with and suddenly they go hey, actually I enjoy this too, I want to be here.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: So I think it's a great age.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm with you.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: I'm with you on that, you know.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: And so, coming to sort of where you are now like you say, you're in that sweet spot now and the path to finding your business and focusing on that area, I'm just interested in how you did it.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: And well, that's probably the first, that's part one.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Let me keep the question straightforward, but it is how did you come about starting the business and actually going with this?
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Or I think you said it was a passion project to start with, but how did it move?
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Talk to me about that.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: So when I stopped coaching collegiately just to maybe give this quick little side note of a story is that I also own a real estate company and so I got my real estate license as I finished coaching collegiately, as I was raising my kids I have two children and I will say I really positioned my athletic background really well in real estate to turn it into a company.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: So I promoted myself as, like you're, all American realtor I was at all American college, like I really taglined into my football and into my sporting experience with that and so thankfully and this is connected to your question because the only way I really been able to build soccer parenting the way I have, and as slowly and thoughtfully as I had, is because I also own another company that brings in income that I'm able to sustain myself and my kids off of.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: So the path for soccer parenting really, like we mentioned it, just started as me starting to write.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: I started a blog, I just started putting things out there.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: I started kind of finding my voice.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: I've always enjoyed writing, but I certainly don't consider myself a writer by any means.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I certainly don't consider myself a writer by any means.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: I certainly don't consider myself a journalist, although I kind of found myself in this digital marketing space here, and so it really was just that I continued to pursue writing.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: Being on blah became being on podcasts, became speaking and I really do get a lot of energy from the global speaking that I'm doing right now on these topics and so it just sort of naturally evolved because I was putting a quality, thoughtful product out there for people as well.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and look, I think the key bit.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: So thanks for taking me back and giving the that mid story there, because I think that's really important.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: What you did by setting up a business that built off your well, your collegiate brand and positioned it into real estate and through using that well, it kept you true to who you are, but then it also built the space for you to well, one, raise a family but two, have a passion project as well.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: That was solving a real problem that you were living as well, sort of living and breathing.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and the story of soccer parenting is essentially the story of my children and the game and the evolution of the brand, the evolution of the education, the evolution of the work that we're doing at soccer.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Parenting has absolutely been the evolution of my children's pathway in football and they both have very divergent experiences.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: My son is a recreational level player.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: He's at university now, but my daughter was a high performance player.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: She's still playing.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: She's working professionally in the MLS for Columbus Crew and has an incredible job there that she's loving.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: But she had a very.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: She was an All-American in college herself.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: And the story of soccer parenting, the evolution of that, was really me learning how to support my daughter, especially in her journey in football.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: And so what were the kinds of problems that you went through that you're now, I guess, tackling through soccer, parenting?
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah Well, to begin with big picture, what I'm trying to do with soccer parenting is give parents agency in this space that so deeply involves their child, which is so important to them.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: And for me, I have this big identity in football.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: I considered myself a player, I considered myself a coach.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: The game I felt, I feel the game very deeply within me, which maybe you can relate to as well and those listening can as well, like we feel these things.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: And so what was incredibly hard for me as Callie was coming up is that I felt like the sense of agency and connectiveness to the sport was being taken away from me.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: And this is not me living vicariously through my child.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: This is me caring passionately about the game and then seeing her struggling and feeling like I didn't have a voice with her coaches.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: And at Soccer Parenting we believe that collaborative relationships with appropriate boundaries between coaches and parents is in the best interest of player development.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: And I knew that it would be in Callie's best interest for me to have a collaborative relationship with her coach, who had such influence in her life and that wasn't afforded to me and I just was really struck in that moment.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: So that was a really big changing point for me in terms of the work that we're doing and the why behind starting.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Between starting soccer, parenting and I also was struggling to show up for my daughter, who she's been on my platform a number of times.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: She's happy for me to share stories about her.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: She and I have a very different mentality.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: She's a lot more anxious.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: She's a lot more stressed about thinking.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: She was really kind of focused on the external pressures that she was feeling.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: Whether that be for me and not intending to be or not, I have no idea, but I had to work through that and I knew that I needed help in order to keep her passionate about the game, because the way that I was showing up for her was not helping her.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: But I didn't really understand her because she was not like me and so I had to seek guidance and support, and that was a lot of the story of this, of this journey as well.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: That's so good and thanks for sharing that as well.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: And, you know, again, thanks for your daughter for being comfortable with that being shared, because but I listened to you, I can think of how I show up on the sidelines to my boy, three sons and to their various sports, and you know, like you say, that lack of providing agency, and you know these are things that I've certainly had to battle with, especially when they're in sports, when they're not in football, when they're not in soccer, because where it's in soccer, I have this natural sort of intrinsic yep, I know what's going on and, yeah, I kind of know what the coach is thinking.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: But when it's in soccer, I have this natural sort of intrinsic yep, I know what's going on and, yeah, I kind of know what the coach is thinking.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: But when it's in different sports, I feel this real desire to be there and cheer, but then feel this disconnect because like, well, I don't understand, can I go and talk to them?
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: How do I approach them?
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: You know, what am I supposed to do here?
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: That type of thing.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: So, again, wonderful, love that concept, the platform that you've building, that's great.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: And then what happens if you don't trust your child's football coach and you have that background?
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Where do you put that stress if that coach isn't necessarily showing up like they need to to support the players on the team?
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: How do you manage that as a parent?
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: And that's a challenge too that we've had to navigate and that parents globally are navigating, and so really what we're doing at Soccer Parenting is just improving everyone.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Let's give coaches the capacity, the motivation to show up for our children like they deserve, and let's resource coaches and applaud them and highlight the great qualities that many coaches have, and, at the same time, let's resource parents as well.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: And let's all of us just improve the way we're showing up for children so that more kids can stay involved in sport, can find a passion for sport, that, yeah, they're not going to necessarily be a professional player, but that this sport can impact them for their life and they can learn similar lessons that we know sports so uniquely affords children.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, guy.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I think that's insightful, very insightful.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: I do love that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: But look, before I can chat to you for ages on this, I can already feel that and I've got way more questions.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I'll be in Australia later this year.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: We'll have to chat in person.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Absolutely done, that is.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: That's a day so well, I guess, coming towards the end, I suppose I'm thinking so as you look back at your experience and for those let's take the athletes certainly who are, who have these aspirations, who want to, you know, who want to play for that national team and go there, your experience for them to set themselves up to, I guess, transition better and avoid those dark periods that we often go through, what advice would you give to us coming through?
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: I think the thing that stands out to me, bigger than anything is I alluded to this earlier, we spoke about it briefly is the people you surround yourself with.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: To find, to actively seek a group of people that are supporting you, that are your go-to people, that are advocating for you, that believe in you, that will talk straight to you.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Really, I would say that that's probably the most important thing that we can do, and it's almost like in this day and age, we can ask people to serve that capacity for us, like even somebody that we're close with, asking a friend hey, I need to.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: I'm forming this little group to support me right now.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Can you be a part of it, so that they're clear that they're a part of this thing to help you transition to this next phase of your life?
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: Because I look back and I can think about some of my friends who played many years in the MLS some of my male friends and their transition to away from their professional career was the hardest moments of their life, and I think that having the people around you that you can trust and who will be there for you is the most important.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Sky look.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much for coming on and sharing your story.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: There are going to be many people who are going to want to either get in touch or certainly follow you.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: What's the best way for them to follow you and perhaps even get in contact?
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Sure, our website is soccerparentingcom, so you can find all our contact information there.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: On social channels, instagram or Twitter is probably where I show up, or X is probably where I show up more than anything, and you can certainly DM me there.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: Linkedin is good as well.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: My private LinkedIn or my personal LinkedIn is just Sky Eddie E-D-D-Y.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: So yeah, absolutely, you can track me down there or via our website and connect.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: Awesome.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: Well, we'll put all that information in the show notes as well.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: Sky sky, thanks very much for sharing your story today.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Really appreciate it thanks, ryan thank you for listening to the second win podcast.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: We hope you enjoyed hearing insights from today's athlete on transitioning out of competitive careers.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: If you're looking for career clarity for your next step, make sure you check out secondwinio for more information or to book a consultation with me.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I'd like to thank Claire from Betty Book Design, Nancy from Savvy Podcast Solutions and Cerise from Copying Content by Lola for their help in putting this podcast together.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: That's all from me.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Take it easy Until next time.