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What Happens When You SNAP On a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when you finally snap on a narcissist?
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  When you've had enough, when you can't take it anymore and you
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  finally pop the top, You blow your lid, you explode on them.
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  What goes on? What goes on inside the mind of
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  a narcissist? How do they react?
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  How do they treat you? That's what we talked about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and I
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  give you the inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
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  But yes, y'all to hop right into it.
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  There are quite a few narcissists and toxic people out
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  there that would love, love to see you snap that love it when
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  you snap on them that will. Yeah, I'm just keeping it real.
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  I can't. The only thing I do on this
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  channel is I try to keep it real, right.
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  There are so many narcissists out there that would absolutely
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  love it if you were to snap and especially if they were able to
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  catch it on camera, right? That's the big thing about it
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  right there. If you snap, they would love to
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  be able to catch it on camera in order to just in order to hold,
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  hold you accountable in this situation right here in order to
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  be able to blackmail you or to use that against you.
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  There's so many narcissistic people out there that are them.
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  They're praying for you to lose your cool.
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  They're praying for you to pop your top and just go crazy on
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  them, especially in front of other people.
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  They would love it if you did it in front of other people.
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  And I know that sounds crazy, right?
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  I look, I understand the fact that that sounds crazy, but when
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  you're dealing with a manipulator or toxic person like
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  this, you have to understand that they want you to lose your
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  cool. Because as you all might know,
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  narcissist, toxic people, whoever right?
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  Love, love plan the victim love finding a way to play the victim
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  to circumstances that they themselves create.
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  Love it. There's nothing more than a lot
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  of narcissist, the people loving the fact that they get to cause
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  chaos and wreak havoc on your life or the lives of other
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  people around you. There's nothing more.
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  Yeah, I'm just telling you, And This is why I preach, damn near
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  preach. People controlling your
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  reactions. I tell people I'm like, look,
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  people ask me like only how do we defeat a narcissist?
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  What? What can we do in these
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  situations to defeat the narcissist?
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  I like, look, you're not going to like this, right?
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  You're not going to like it. But you got to control your
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  emotions. You got to control your
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  reactions. You have to get yourself in
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  control. You have to control the
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  controllables, right? Because if you don't control the
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  controllables, they control you. If you don't control your
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  emotions, they control you. If they can trigger you, they
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  can't control you. And a lot of people don't like
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  me saying that that matter of fact, I did a video about
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  reactive abuse very recently and somebody in the comment section
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  said, well, Lee, I absolutely hate when people tell the victim
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  to control their to control their reactions.
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  I hate it. They they don't tell the
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  narcissist to control themselves.
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  Yeah, although when I see comments like that, I get the
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  mindset or I get I understand where you're coming from.
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  You're dealing with a narcissistic person is not going
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  to be fair, right? So yes, I'm telling the victims
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  to be to get control of their reactions.
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  Otherwise you get on, you get video recorded looking like the
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  abuser. Otherwise you get the police
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  called on you because you finally snapped and now you have
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  a criminal record that that narcissistic person can use
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  against you. You see, now you have a criminal
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  record that that toxic narcissistic person can
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  weaponize against you and tell everybody that, hey, look, my
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  partner is an abuser. My ex is an abuser.
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  You see, oh, my husband or my wife is an abuser.
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  Look at them even though they've been abusing you for years,
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  right? Maybe they've been abusing you
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  for so Dang on long that it's just hard to reconcile with it,
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  right? It's hard to understand it.
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  It's so hard to deal with, right?
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  They've been abusing you for so long now they got footage of you
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  losing your cool. They got footage of you losing
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  your like, not anything not in control of your reactions.
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  They got footage of you snapping.
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  You got charges. Now you have like, you literally
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  have criminal charges now. You see what I'm saying?
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  You now have these charges because you couldn't, because
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  you didn't control your reactions.
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  I, I, I understand the sentiment when people say that, but I also
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  understand the mind of a narcissist and the dealing with
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  a dealing with a narcissist in a relationship.
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  I get that. That's why it's so important to
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  under to get control of everything that you can control,
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  because narcissists want to be in control of everything, right?
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  I was here's a story right here. Y'all if y'all don't know, I
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  still do my one on ones over Zoom, right?
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  You can find everything@mentalillness.net in
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  description of every video and podcast that I do.
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  You can find my site for my one on ones, my coaching, my
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  courses, everything, right. I said it to say this.
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  There's a story a woman told me, right?
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  I was doing a zoom call with her.
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  She told me that she snapped on her narcissistic husband, right?
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  She snapped on him. They're married, they have
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  children. She snapped, he called the
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  police, and the crazy thing about it is he antagonized her.
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  He pushed her, she snapped, went and got something and hit him
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  with it. Guess what they hit is on
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  camera. Her hitting and chasing him with
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  an object is on camera, called the police.
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  The police come and arrest her, who is a victim of domestic
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  violence, right? She's a victim.
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  They arrested her, took her to court and now she has pending,
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  she had pending assault charges on her, but that's not it right
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  there. He didn't drop the charges.
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  They were still married and guess what?
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  They were riding to court together for her charges.
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  He didn't want to drop the charge.
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  He's like, no, I'm going to teach you a lesson.
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  You got to learn that. You can't act like that.
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  You got to learn, you got to listen to me.
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  You got to learn this. You got to learn that, like they
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  were riding to court together literally and he still refused
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  to drop the charges. I didn't I don't know how to I
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  don't know how that case turned out.
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  Young lady, if you're still following me, let me know how
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  that turned out. Shoot me an e-mail.
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  But that's just shows you right there how dramatic these
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  relationships can be right there, right?
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  That shows you how crazy they can get.
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  He was riding with her to court that for the charges that he
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  pressed against her after he started it.
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  Like he literally pushed her on the ground.
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  The cameras didn't catch that part.
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  The cameras caught her running into the kitchen, grabbing a
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  weapon and attacking him with it.
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  So she, she got in trouble because she wasn't in control of
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  her emotions, right? Of course I'm not.
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  I'm not telling you to not fight back.
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  That's what that's the point I'm trying to convey to you.
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  I'm not trying to tell you that you don't need to fight back
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  because yeah, sometimes you have to fight back, right?
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  You don't. You, you got to defend yourself.
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  But be very weary of narcissistic people because they
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  will use your defense against you.
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  They will use your defenses against you.
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  They absolutely 100% will. That's why it's so incredibly
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  important for y'all to just get to the what I'm telling y'all is
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  this information right here. I'm not telling you this to just
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  make it seem like you just a punch to be a punching bag and
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  to practice yoga. It becomes Zen.
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  I'm not saying that like when they're yelling and screaming at
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  you to cross your legs and start floating into the air and
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  meditating. I'm not telling you to do that
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  type of stuff. They'll be scary.
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  They was scared them off. If you close your legs are the
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  floating, they meditate. They was scared them off.
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  That was scared them off. But it was, I'm sorry.
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  Yeah, it was scared them off. But it still would wouldn't save
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  you, right, Because they were trying to come back later on.
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  They would definitely get a video of you floating in the
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  air. I told you all she was
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  possessed. I told you all she was crazy.
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  I told you all. He had lost his mind.
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  You see, narcissistic people are always trying to find a way to
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  not just victimize themselves, but to make you look like the
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  aggressor. So when you snap, if I'm a
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  narcissist, right, and you snap on me, I'm going to a lot of
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  even even if I'm not recording this, if it's just between me
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  and you, there's nobody else around, I'm going to play the
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  victim towards you because guess what?
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  You know what happened. Nobody else needs to know what
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  happens. So it's not always about
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  exposing you. Like if you yell and scream,
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  like if I'm poking and poking and poking you, right, You have
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  a reactive abuse episode where you start yelling and screaming
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  and throwing stuff at me even though I might not call the
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  cops. You know you did it.
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  So I'm going to use that against you and call you an abuser every
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  single time something comes up. You remember you threw that
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  thing at me when I was just trying to have a conversation
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  with you. You remember you, you black my
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  you remember. You got to live me with that
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  steak knife that you just picked up.
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  You see what I'm saying? You remember you, you, you, you,
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  you threatened me with that hammer that time and by all I
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  was doing was trying to get you to take accountability for your
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  action. You see, that's why I say it's
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  so important because it's not just the people.
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  It's not just the fact that they can you like use this against
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  you in the public. Sometimes it's just between you
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  and them because they make you feel bad about yourself because
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  that's not you. When you snap and you get out of
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  character, that's why a lot of times you'll see a narcissist
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  smile because that's not you, right?
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  That's not you. They'll sit right there and look
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  at you and smirk when you're yelling and screaming because
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  now you've popped the top. You've lost the plot, right?
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  So, so many things have happened to you in this scenario that you
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  are no longer in control of yourself.
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  And that's why that narcissist is just smiling at you like
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  this. They're like got you.
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  Sometimes they'll even say it. They'll say there's the real
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  you, there she is. There's the real you.
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  There he is. I knew he was in there
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  somewhere. You see, they'll always try to
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  play the victim. This is why it's so important,
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  y'all, to control those reactions of yours.
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  Otherwise you're going to end up with a toxic narcissist, the
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  person that abuses the hell out of you and always tries to find
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  a way to play the victim. So when you snap on a
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  narcissist, some of them absolutely love it right?
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  Now, there's a caveat here. Sometimes not every single
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  narcissist is the same. Right now, all narcissists are a
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  toxic monolith. So I'll say this as well.
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  There's some narcissist out there.
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  If you snap on them, they'll disappear on you, right?
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  And I'm not telling y'all, I said some, very, a few of them.
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  I'm not telling y'all to go out here and snap on your
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  narcissistic partner or your ex or whoever it is, right?
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  I'm not telling you to snap on them to get them to leave you
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  alone because it could work, right?
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  But sometimes, again, y'all see the other end of the spectrum
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  where they will absolutely play the victim, the circumstances
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  that they themselves have created, they will absolutely be
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  the victim here and they will get to you and that will
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  absolutely mess with you. So it's very important for you
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  as a survivor to control those reactions and to stay in stay in
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  control because again, sometimes they'll you'll snap on them and
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  they'll leave you alone, right? That could happen.
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  They're they're all these fearful, cowardice narcissists
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  that don't want to pick a fight with you.
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  Then you snap on them and they just get scared as scared as
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  hell to leave you alone, right? That could happen.
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  I'm not telling y'all to go out there and do this like I got
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  out. Yeah, it's crazy that I have to
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  make these disclaimers after almost them in there.
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  Everything I say, I'm not telling you to do this.
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  I'm not saying that this will happen.
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  I'm not recommending. Did you try this?
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  I have to say that type of stuff because people, if I don't,
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  people would go out there like Willie.
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  I didn't. I never thought about screaming
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  and yelling and threatening to harm them to get them to leave.
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  I'm going to go do that now. No, don't do that because that's
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  when you get caught up. That's when you get charges.
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  That's when you end up looking and feeling horrible about
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  yourself because you didn't want this type of stuff to happen.
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  So it's very, very important right now that you understand
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  that you don't need to go out there and and purposely snap on
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  them. I'm not telling you to not
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  defend yourself, y'all. I'm just telling you to keep
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  yourself in this calm calms this stillness, right?
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  Because they're trying to set you off.
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  And I know a lot of people when I say this to people right here,
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  they don't, they don't understand it.
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  Even though it's a personal attack on you, sometimes they're
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  personally attacking you. Try not to take it personally
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  because a lot of times when narcissists are saying things
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  about you, it really is how they feel about themselves inside.
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  It really is. So if they call, if they're
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  saying bad things about you out of nowhere, that's probably
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  because they feel inadequate. There's a bunch of insecurities
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  going on within them when they feel in that they feel is this
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  high level of inadequacy and they finally snap and lose their
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  minds and then like they they take it out on you and then you
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  snap and then they try to play the victim.
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  It's a vicious, vicious cycle of narcissistic toxic abuse.
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  Shop anyway y'all, I appreciate y'all tuning in.
• 12:40
  I appreciate every single one of y'all If you learned anything
• 12:43
  from this video, this video brought you some clarities and
• 12:45
  please make sure to hit that subscribe button help us just
• 12:47
  reach more people. My website's still up
• 12:50
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• 12:53
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• 12:56
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• 12:59
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• 13:01
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