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PAUL BRODIE - Identifying and overcoming RESISTANCE - Aired Out Speaker series Ep1 · Aired Out

• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Talking just like that.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I can side very good. Everybody's spare series.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I didn't like persistence is the topic.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Discussions spake that this is even series.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Love to have your input, your suggestions, your ideas going
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: forward as to what what uh what, what kind of
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: topics you would like to explore, what you would like
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to learn about here about And we already have a
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: good number of folks that are ready to come in
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: over the next couple of months and speak on a
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: vast array of topics from a drug and alcohol use
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to psychedelics I think is something that we're also going
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: to be talking about and many many other things. But
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: we want to welcome you. Thank you so much for
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: joining us, for tuning in. This is an opportunity for
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: you to post some comments, some questions that you have,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: and at some point eventually we're hoping to kind of
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: move this into a live audience setting here on North
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Main Street in Berry, but we're starting out virtually. We're
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: coming to you no matter where you are, on your phone,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: on your computer, maybe you're driving, you're taking us along
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: with you today. We appreciate your eyes and your ears.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Paul Brody, our guest, identifying an overcoming resistance again. This
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: is episode one of a speaker series that we are
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: so excited about.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: A Paul all right, thanks Jadi. Yeah, it was a good,
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: good reset because I didn't like the way the last
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: one started off. So all right, I'm gonna instead of
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: going right into the definitions resistance and stuff like that,
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: show this little thing first. Actually got to remember what
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I was gonna do with this. Oh yeah, So just
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: there's something to be aware of. This is you, all right,
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: that's you. That's your true authentic self. The light, I mean,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: not the flashlight thing.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: The light.
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  Speaker 3: The light represents you. This is you, your spirit, your soul,
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: whatever you want to call it. Your authentic self is
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: the terminology I like to use. You are light and
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: through the process of living, sometimes things get in front
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: of this light. Like that, now you can still see it.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: You can still see the light even though there's something
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: in front of it. Sometimes more stuff gets in front
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  Speaker 3: of it. That's harder to see the light. I'll just
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: fold this over one more time. I don't know if
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: you can see the light through it all. I guess
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: if I could press right up against it, But like
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: so you know you can see that. Sometimes stuff comes
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: into our life and it blocks our true self. This
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: is a little bit thicker, so you probably can't see
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: the light through that at all. The light's still there,
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: still on, but you don't see it. You're not aware
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: of it, you don't feel it. This paper, whatever, anything
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: that's in in front of this blocking this represents ego.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: So that's an important definition for this too. Ego is
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: the illusion of self in my terminology the way I
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: work with it. So you have your authentic self, what
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: you are, the light, the spirit inside of you, what
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: makes you a living being, and then you have the
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: ego is all the things that you collected throughout life.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: So the paper, the hat, that represents the different experiences
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  Speaker 3: that we have, all the stuff that we pick up
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: along the way, our preferences, our dislikes, our fears, the
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: things that we find joy in our memories, all of
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: our experiences, connections, relationships with all of that stuff. Represents
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: that some of those things can get in the way
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  Speaker 3: of recognizing who we truly are. That's the illusion, that's
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: or that's the ego, that's the illusion of self. And
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: when we're talking about identifying an overcoming resistance, we want
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: to look at what is it that makes up that ego.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: The ego is the source of the resistance. Now there's
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: different we can look at resistance in different ways there,
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: so like the straight up definition of resistance me, look,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: I wrote it down, I'm gonna all kind of guess
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: what we know or we know what it means. Basically
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: the refusal to comply with or accept something.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: I had to look that up. So when something comes
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  Speaker 3: into your life and you don't want to experience it,
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  Speaker 3: you resist it. Now, resistance can also be beneficial. If
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: you've read or listened to the book The War of
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Art by Stephen Pressfield, he talks about resistance as being
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: necessary for growth and crick for creativity. He says, the
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: blank screen in front of you, if you're a writer,
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: represents resistance. The you know, sitting down with your instrument
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  Speaker 3: and not having an idea of where to go next.
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  Speaker 3: That could be a resistance, and that resistance is necessary
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: in order to move you forward. And JD typed a
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: message to me and then that threw me off. That's
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  Speaker 3: not gonna work. That's all good, that's my fault. And
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: so resistance some kind sometimes it is necessary from that perspective.
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  Speaker 3: But that's not how I'm looking at it. Resistance is
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  Speaker 3: something that we don't want in this case. And so
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  Speaker 3: what we're refusing in the context of today's talk or
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: topic discussion is emotion.
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  Speaker 1: JD.
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  Speaker 3: You don't have those images. We didn't get that far
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  Speaker 3: in the preparations, do you. I emailed it to you
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  Speaker 3: if you can find the one. There's one called emotion.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: If you can find that one. So I drew a
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: little picture to go at this, but we were hung
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: up on the audio part before. So but he'll pull
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: it up here in a second. Essentially, emotion. I look
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: at it as energy in motion. It's not my terminology.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I've seen that before, so it's not something I've invented.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Emotion.
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  Speaker 3: So energy in motion, and where does that come from?
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  Speaker 3: The emotion? It comes from within us. So we're the
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: ones that create it. We originate inside of us. Now
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: when we are dealing with all of this stuff that's
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: blocking that light, the ego, things that get in the way,
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: that's not the one. It's called emotion. I'm looking at
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: JD's computer over shoulder. Scroll go up. It's the first match.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: That was the second message. If you can see the
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: first one. Nope, not that one. I'm gonna make JD
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: sweat now he's gonna feel uncomfortable. No, it's all right.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: It was that message I've applied to the same one
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: you had the right email chain. I think, go up,
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: there's nothing above that. Okay, yeah, should be that first one,
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: all right, never mind whatever anyway, Okay, so look at
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: my body, right, and so if you're familiar, there you go.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Second one with all the colors, that's the one. There
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: you go share that, all right, perfect enough to they
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: use me as the example. Okay, there we go that.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: That's a person you see that being sitting down. And
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: if you're familiar with chakras or energy centers the different
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: ways with the terminology form, there's seven primary chakras of
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: primary energy centers. Now for me, I don't know how
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: if this is This isn't nothing I'm saying today is truth.
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  Speaker 3: These are all my opinions, These are all theories. This
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: is all stuff that I've picked up along the way,
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  Speaker 3: and I have found to be useful in my experience
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: with life, helping me to have greater peace inside with
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: less disruption interacting with to things outside. So I don't
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: share this in the trying to say that this is
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: the way it is, but I'm sharing it in the
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  Speaker 3: hope that it inspires something inside of you that you
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: might think about something differently, or find that this isn't
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: the way you want to think about things at all.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Whatever it is, but we're just looking at expiring, inspiring
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  Speaker 3: and expanding our thoughts. If you like this idea, area
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: you want to entertain this idea. There's seven primary energy
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  Speaker 3: centers in the body. Those are the general areas of them,
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: and the names of the chakras on the side and
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  Speaker 3: colors associated with them. You think of it like an
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  Speaker 3: energy spiral at each of those points on the body.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like these energy centers are the places where
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: we create the emotion. So the energy and motion the
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  Speaker 3: emotion is created these energy centers and it spirals out.
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  Speaker 3: If something happens outside of me in the external world,
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  Speaker 3: then my body receives it, It interacts with my body.
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  Speaker 3: My body responds to that physical stimulus, and then my self,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: my higher self inside of me, responds to the way
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: my body responds or interacts with it, and that's when
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: the energy is created. And if someone does something kind
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: to me and I feel love, love originates from my
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: heart center and it's a spiral of this energy comes
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: out and it goes through my entire body and expands out.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: So like in this image you see that, I use
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: that as the in the body of the green spirals.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: That's the heart he's feeling love energy, love emotion, and
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  Speaker 3: it will spiral out, filter through the body, and then
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: continue on like a ripple into water. You ever dropped
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: the pebble into a puddle or to throw in a
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: lake or whatever. When when something hits still water, it
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  Speaker 3: ripples out right, and the ripples will continue to go
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: until they find resistance. If it hits the end of
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: the body of water or the energy dissipates completely, there's
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: no way that you can I don't want to get
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: to that point yet, Okay, So think about it like
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: hitting the water and that ripples out the energy, same
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: kind of thing. Energy is created inside of us and
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  Speaker 3: it ripples out and resistance comes in if we try
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  Speaker 3: to contain that. So if you picture throwing the pebble
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  Speaker 3: and through water and the water rippling, if you decide
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  Speaker 3: that you don't want that water to ripple, what are
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: you gonna do about it? Is there anything you can
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: do about it? If you try to stop the ripple,
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: you're going to destroy it, but you're gonna make it
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: splashing in the water, So you're gonna create more ripples,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: and probably worse ripples than the one you didn't like
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: in the first place. And if you want to contain
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: that ripple because you like it, you enjoy it, you
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: think it's the best looking ripple in the water you've
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: ever seen. And you try to push in the exact
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: same spots where the pebble hit, You're not gonna be
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: able to do it. You're never gonna get it perfect.
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  Speaker 3: It's never gonna be you can never contain it forever.
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  Speaker 3: These emotions that are created inside of us, they expand
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  Speaker 3: out until they're gone. And how long does it take
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  Speaker 3: for them to go?
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  Speaker 1: I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: They just do. They go on their own path and
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: they follow nature.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: I didn't make up that part in my theory yet.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: But they just express out of us. But if we
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: don't like it, we try to hold it. We try
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: to stop the experience of it. If it's painful or uncomfortable,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: we try to hold it in there. I've resisted this energy.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: That's the resistance we're talking about we've resisted this energy
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: and stays inside of us as long as we keep
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: pressure on it. And then that we store that inside
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: of us, and then that can get triggered by other
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: things later on in life, and then it comes up
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: to the surface and we feel it again and it hurts,
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: and so we try to stuff it back down.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: We resist it.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: That's the side of things. If it's uncomfortable, it can
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: take the image wey now JD. If you want or
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: leave it, whatever people prefer. That's the first pull in
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: the chat. You would rather look at the drawing or
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: me as your options. And if it's something that we like,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: if it's an energy that we like, sometimes we also
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: resist that because we don't want it to leave us.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: So if this energy is expanding outward and we're losing
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: the feeling, the good feeling, we want to try and
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: contain that, so we try to wrap that up and
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: pull that in, and we do that. It's the same
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: kind of resistance. So we're storing this energy that needs
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: to move, but we're trying to hold onto it. We
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: either don't want it to be there in the first place,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: so we resist it and that stuffs it down inside
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: or we want to contain it because we do like it,
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: and we resist it, and it also stuffs it down
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: inside and you think, well, I don't.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Want to it.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Why would that be bad to be stuffed full of
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: good things? Because it's energy, It needs to go and
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: needs to expand, it's gonna put pressure and it's going
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: to distract you from anything else in the future.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Ever.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: Again, a lot of this I'm drawing from Michael Singer.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: If you're not familiar with Michael Singer, then this might
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: sound familiar to you. But if you are familiar with
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Michael wait, if you are familiar with Michael Singer, this
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: is a good to sound familiar to you. If you're
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: not familiar with Michael Singer, that is brand new, and
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: you'll think that I'm brilliant, but I'm not. It's all
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: taking it from Michael Singer. So Singer talks about if
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: you go to a restaurant you have a great experience,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: never ever, ever go back to that restaurant again, because
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: you have stored that experience inside of you as energy
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: and you've told everybody about it. So the food was fantastic,
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: the weight staff was fantastic, the atmosphere was fantastic. Everything
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: went perfectly on my night at this at this restaurant,
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: and so you store that inside of you and everywhere
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: you go, well, this is a good food, but it's
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: not as good as that place, or this nice restaurant's nice,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: but remember that place who went to and wherever that
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: was that was better. And so you're resisting a good
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: experience by trying by keeping out aside of you, and
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: then everything you experienced from that point on you filter
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: it through that first experience and you lose it. You
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: lose what you could be experiencing in the moment. So
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: this is the danger of resisting anything, is that we're
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: now carrying it with us. Remember if this light is you,
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: I think, so it takes so long to turn on.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Hold the button down there it goes. So if this
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: light is you, and then our experiences are slowly blocking
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: the light, so you can't see you know, you don't
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: have yourself anymore. You're still in there, but you don't
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: notice it because the ego is blocking it. That ego
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: is the collection of all these things, all the times
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: that you thought, well, this is the best restaurant ever,
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: or this holiday was the best experience I've ever had,
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: or that was the best concept I've ever been to,
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: or that was the worst concept I've ever been to.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: This person is the worst person I've ever met. I
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: never want to talk to him again, or whatever the
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: case may be. We have the experience, We create the
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: emotion inside of us in response to what's going on
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: outside of us. We store the emotion inside of us,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: and then we filter everything that we experience through that
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: stored emotion onward. And what it takes us out of
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: the present moment. It puts us into fear of the past,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: or you can call that depression, or puts us into
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: fear of the future, and you can call that anxiety.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Either we're fearing the past because we're dwelling on the
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: thing that happened, or we're fearing the future because we're
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: afraid of it happening again. And so in either case,
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: we've created resistance and it's influencing everything we do going forward.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: We want to identify what those resistance points are in
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: our life and let go of them. Well, the good
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: news is you don't have to actually identify them at all.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: It's again Michael Singer talks about a last in First
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Last In, First Out, stack lifeo stack they call it
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: in programming. As a programmer, if you're not familiar with that,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: just think about like a pile of papers, a pile
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: of anything. You put something down, put some nails on
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: top of it, put some nails on top of that,
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: and you keep stacking these up. If you want to
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: get to the bottom one in this case, you have
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: to take the top off first. So you take the
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: first level layer off and the bottom and then you
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: take them off layer by layer. If we are resisting
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: our experiences, we're putting new things on top of that stack.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Every time you resist something, you put another layer onto
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: that stack. Every time you put something onto that stack,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: you've now made it a longer time before you're gonna
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: get to the bottom of the stack. The first step
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: is to stop putting those things on. If we can
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: identify what resistance is, what or how we create it,
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: and then we can stop creating it, we stop stacking up,
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: then these things will start to go away. What do
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: you have to do to get rid of them?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Nothing?
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: And this is where you know, like psychology wants you
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: to go back, or you know, psychotherapy and psychiatry stuff
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: wants you to go back and doesn't maybe not want
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: you to. But the tradition or the stigma about that
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: seems to be that we have to go back and
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: analyze our past and then identify each thing that we
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: didn't like or that was bad or it was traumatic
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: to us, and then do something about it. But what
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: do you need to do about it? It's a stored
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: emotion that hurt when it came in, It hurt when
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: you created it, and all it needed to do is
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: express itself, and we, for whatever reason at the time,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: we weren't capable, weren't sure enough, we weren't aware of
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: how to, or we just it just hurt too much.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: And none of this is no judgment in any of this.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: We're all doing the best we can and so there's
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: no judgment here. But these are This is a theory
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: of how this happens. We resist it. It's stored in
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: there because it hurt. We don't want to let go
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: of it, because it's to let go of it means
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: to experience it fully. We don't want to experience it fully.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: But we don't have to go back, and you can.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: You can go back if you want to, and with
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: professional help and support and whatever, and analyze your whole
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: past and identify all the traumas. And that works for
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: some people. So if you want to do it, go
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: ahead and do that. This is not supposed to be
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: any kind of I'm not diagnosing, assessing, or treating anything here.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: This is just theory today. But you don't have to
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: do that. You can just stop creating new traumas, stop
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: creating new stressors and resistance for yourself, and then let
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: things fade away as they will. It'll come up on
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: its own because it's going to get rubbed up against
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: something in the future. Remember, if we store these energies
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: inside of us, they're in us. And then when you
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: have a new experience, you meet a person that has
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: the same name, is that person that upset you years ago?
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Just meeting them and being introduced them and hearing their
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: name will remind you of that stored energy, that resisted
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: energy you have from the past, the resisted emotion, and
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: just hearing their name will start to bring that back
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: up to the surface and you'll start to feel the
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: pain associated with that past experience. You'll think, oh, people
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: name that are the worst, and then you start to
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: feel it again. But if you're not bringing these things
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: in now when that thing gets rubbed up against and
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: starts coming up because you met the person with the
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: same name, if you're not bringing that in all over again,
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: always another person named JD. I'm gonna I have to
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: use a name someone use you, just because no one
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: else will take it personally. Everyone else, No, I know
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: you won't take it personally, So I'm not worried about that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: So I meet someone named j D. And I used
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: to know someone named j D, and it was a
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: little terrible experience. So now I meet a new person
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: named JD. Instead of creating a new resistance, because when
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: I meet him, then the emotion inside of me, if
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: I'm not in control of this, we'll get to that
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: in a minute. The automatic response might create a new
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: emotion of anger or frustration or hurt, and I start
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: to feel that it reminds me of the old experience,
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: and so that when I start to feel as well,
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: and I don't want to feel that one either. So
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: now I'm suppressing suppressing two things. But if instead I
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: can meet this new JD and say, hi, JD, it's
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: nice to meet you, and I and I might remember,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: oh yea, I knew that person back in the day
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: that was named JD. And I didn't like that. But
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to suppress it anymore. I'm just gonna go.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Oh right, I remember that, and now I'm letting it
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: go because I'm not holding onto things anymore. So now
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: it can leave me, it can just go it it
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: comes off the stack and it's gone, and the next
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: thing comes up to the surface. I don't know. That's
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: kind of hopefully that was clear. It's kind of clunky
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: how we got there. But so let's shift a little
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: bit here, all right. So what we've got that's the
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: process of how we create the resistance or what the resistance.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: The resistance is both something we do and something that's
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: inside of us, I guess in this context, so we
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: have an understanding of what the resistance is. Hopefully I
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: don't know how well I'm doing here. We'll find out afterwards.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: And once we've got all these things inside of us.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Now we've got a very muddled and filled up self,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: the ego, right, this illusion of the self. Maybe we'll
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: get into that. I actually want to do this real fast.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: This bottle. It took me a lot to figure out
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: how to get the right kind of sediment to.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Do this with.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: If you ever, I don't know how well it's how
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: well you can see if it's very clear or not.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: It's kind of cloudy. It's not the clearest ever. But
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: if I shake this up, so like you've ever stepped
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: in a puddle or gone to a pond or a
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: lake and you step into it and then the dirt
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: all comes up, and now you can tell it's a
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: lot murkier. Right, What can we do to clear this?
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Is there anything that you can do to clear that time?
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Is it? Yeah?
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: So the data chin says, muddy water is cleared by
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: letting it rest. This is your mind, right, This is
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: your mind on worry, remember the Saturday Morning cartoon stuff.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: This is your mind on worry when or your ego
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: with resistance. All of this stuff is in here. All
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: this stuff should have just floated through, but you kept it.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: You held onto it. So it's in here and it's
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: murky and it's a mess. And what do you do.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: You let it sit, and you let it sit and
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: it settles. And that's the only way to clear this out.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: It will it'll settle. You can't see it on the camera.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna hold it, my arm will collapse. I'm
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: not that strong, but it'll it'll settle over time and
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: it'll become clear. And that's what we want to do.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: We want to settle anyway. So that's just something on
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: the side, all.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Right, what.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: Right? Yeah, true, yeah, yeah, until you until yeah.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: So I met the guy named JD in the past,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: had a tumultuous experience and it was uncomfortable. Was all
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: the mess inside, and then it's settled. Then I meet
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: the new guy and it's like giving another shake.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, So let's talk about ego. How how's that form?
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: If if you haven't read the four Agreements, then you
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: should read that, And so I'll explain it briefly though,
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: as I like the framework for it. The author Don
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Miguel Ruiz uses the term domestication to explain basically what
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: I've just what I've talked about as far as creating
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: the ego through resistance, the domestication process that we undergo.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: That's also what this is about. Delight and then all
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: the stuff that gets in front of it and blocks
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: us from recognizing that we are the light, that we
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: still have that inside of us, and we get distracted
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: by ego and all of that. That's the domestication process.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: So in the context of the four Agreements, everything that
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: we learn is an opinion. We learn the opinions of
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: our parents, our teachers at school, religious leaders, political leaders.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Everybody has an opinion. They share it, and a lot
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: of times it's shared as though it's the truth. So,
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: like I said, I don't know what truth is. I'm
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: not teaching any I don't try to teach things. I
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: don't try to say anything is the truth. All I'm
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: doing is sharing opinions and theories, and then you can
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: agree with it or not right. And so that makes
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: sense if I say this is full of water and dirt,
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: and that's a statement, is my observation, And so maybe
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: we all on that, and we say, well, that's true
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: because we all agree on it. But you know, someone
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: who's really into the science of things might have a
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: different terminology for what's inside of this, and they might
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: not say, well, that's not exactly true. Yeah it's close,
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: but it's not full truth. But we can still agree
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: on the opinion that this is dirty water. When our
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: parents teach us their opinions, they teach them to us
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: as fact. Often and we grow up, either we agree
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: with them or we don't. Usually we agree with them
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: because as children we don't know any different. We don't
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: have any awareness or additional knowledge or experience to go
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: off of. We are taught things and we just accept
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: that as the truth. We make an agreement with it.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: So Miguel Don Miguel will Really reads in the book
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: The Four Agreements, is identifying that process as domestication. He
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: uses the example of if you have a grandmother who
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: thinks it's important for you to eat all your food
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: that she provides for you, and she says, a good
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: little boy will eat his whole dinner, You'll eat all
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: the food on his plate. And so you, as a child,
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: then think you're not good if you don't eat all
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: the food, and she might remind you of that. And
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: through this process of she gives you a plate of food,
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: you don't want to eat it all because you're not hungry,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: you don't like it, whatever the reason is, but she
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: says a good boy will eat all that food. You
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: start to become domesticated into I'm not a good boy
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: if I don't eat this meal. And then at some
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: point you grow up and she's no longer part of
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: your life. She's no longer sitting there telling you that
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: when you're eating whatever, but you might still tell yourself.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: And so we are domesticated by the people around us,
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: our caregivers, and then we continue that domestication process on
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: for our whole lives until we become aware of it.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Aware is another big factor I think in this Aware
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: is when we're consciously attending to something. There's all kinds
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: of stimulus that's coming in all the time. There's sights
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: and sounds and smells and touch feelings and all these things.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: All this is coming into us all the time, but
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: we only attend to small portions of it. There's so
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: much more information that we just can't attend to all
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: of it. When we're consciously attending to something, then we're
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: aware it and we want to act from a place
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: of awareness. Was When we're in a state of awareness,
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: then we can act with intentionality, and intentionality is when
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: we're acting with purpose. If we're not acting intentionality, then
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: we're acting from an automation process or compulsive reaction reaction process,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: which is conditioning and training, which is back to what
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: domestication is. So we domesticate, we are domesticated, and you
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: think about that with animals. You take a wild animal,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: like a cat. They've been over however long it's been
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: from the lion to the house cat. But the house
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: cat has in it some elements of this DNA of
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: the one of the most lethal animals around. And yet
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: he sits there and plays with a ball of string,
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: and he's been domesticated, that his natural instinct has been broken,
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: has been taken out of them. And so maybe that's
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: a harsh way to look at uh things, but it's
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know, I think it fits. So you have
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: animals that are domesticated have a horse as their spirit
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: is broken. They call it breaking the horse to turn
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: to turn the horse in from this wild wild animal.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Use wild to make it sound like always. You know,
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: wild is sometimes thought of not good. I guess when
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: you're in a it's thought of it as chaotic and
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: doesn't fit in with our society. So he say it
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: was a wild horse, Well, it's a natural horse. It's
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: not nothing bad about this horse. The horse is doing
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: exactly what it was created to do. It's out there
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: living free, independent. We have an independent horse. But people
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: who want to control you will say independence is actually
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: chaotic and wild, but that will say that one for
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: later has a different talk series. I think. So you
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: have the independent horse, he's domesticated, his spirit is broken,
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: and then it becomes subservient and docile, easily to control
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: and obedient. And this is what happens with us. Remember
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: we are this, we are the light. And then we're
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: taught over time that we're not the light the We're
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: a collection of all of our experiences, and that's made
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: up of all the opinions of the people around us,
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: and we agree with those things, and then we start
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: to live our life in accordance with those agreements until
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: we become aware of it and we can remember that
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: this is actually who we are. We're the light, We're
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: pure light. We don't need to participate in this domesticated
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: system anymore. We can come back inside of ourselves, to
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: our authentic self and then act from there. We can
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: act with intentionality from a place of awareness. If we
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: don't do that, then we're continuing on in an automated
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: process and we're acting compulsively, often through conditioning. So this happens,
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: and then this stimulus and response. If you're not familiar
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: with Pavlov and the Dogs from was eighteen hundreds. The
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: operant conditioning and psychology. A lot of people are familiar
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: with it. So Pavlov was a scientist. She was studying
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: digestion in canines. And they had this apparatus in the
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: dog's mouth that would measure saliva, and it was for
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: the purpose of measuring digestion. And they discovered that when
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: they would feed the dogs, they would ring a bell
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: to signify there was time to bring the food out
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: to the dogs. The apparatus was already in dog's mouth.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: They rang the bell. After a few days of ringing
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: the bell and the person bring the food out, they
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: discovered that the dogs started salvating at the sound of
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: the bell. I'm not sure exactly when they made that connection,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: but the machines were in place or whatever the apparatus
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: was to measure the salivation. And they said, well, this
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: is odd that it makes sense that the food is there,
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: the dog can smell the food, and the need salivates
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: because the digestive system is engaging from the mouth right
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: at the start of smelling the food. But to ring
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: a bell and then to have the dogs and digestive
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: system engage that's not natural. So they come up with
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: this terminology of conditioning. They were able to take a
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: stimulus that's not associated with the natural response and create
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: an inner response, a natural response to an unnatural stimulus.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: That's part of the domestication process. To the conditioning experience
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: that we all go through. We then learn to engage
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: with life a certain way based on the experiences we have.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Something happens, we respond a specific way, and then we
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: develop patterns, and eventually we start to do things regardless
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: of whether or not we want to or if we're
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: even aware of it. And the experience that most of
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: us have is driving. You're driven and you get your
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: destination and think, I don't remember driving at all, I
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: remember being here. How did I do that? Did I
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: run over somebody that runs stop signs? I don't know.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: It probably didn't. You probably drove perfectly fine because your
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: body is so used to doing that behavior, it's so
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: conditioned into it that it's able to do it automated.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: And there's a lot of things that we do in
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: an automated process, and it's not a bad thing. It's
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: really helpful to get through the day. We don't want
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: to have to make a decision about every little choice
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: that comes up all day long and put a lot
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: of mental energy into it and make a specific choice.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: So it's good to have automation, but automation can also
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: be against us in the form of addictions and different
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: things like that, where something happens outside of us, our
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: body responds, and then before the emotion follows right after,
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: but we're not aware of that emotion that we're creating
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: in response, So you have outside stimulus, the body responds,
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: and then the internal story that's put to it all
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: happens without us being present or being consciously aware. And
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: this is where we get into addictions. Stuff like that
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: real over, you know, like superficial generalizations, but that's basically
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: the process, and we don't want to be in that
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: place because now we are living in response to and
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: reaction to our environment instead of being a creator and
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: being in control of it. And so again, just about
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: identifying the points that we're doing this, becoming more aware
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: of it, and then acting with intentionality. What's next, JD.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Where are we at here? I talked to her will
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: I used to talk myself. I usually have these kind
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: of conversations with people, so I rattled off all that. Yeah,
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: I think I'm at the end of my What time
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: were we at? How long we've been doing twenty minutes? Fifteen? Okay,
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: let me just check over what I notice if I
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: hit the things that I wanted to hit, right, Yeah,
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: So let's let's talk about overcoming the resistance. Then we'll
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: wrap wrap this up and see if there's any any
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: questions or anything. So I also don't like people have
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: told me not to say so quite as often as
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: I do. Whenever I speak, I think of that. I
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: don't want to do that, but I did the name
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: way what family friendly?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Jad?
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: No, it doesn't matter, Yeah, right, it doesn't matter. I
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: want to, but I want to make an appealing product
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: for people. I want it to be. I don't want to.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: I don't want to trigger people's resistances and upset their resistance.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna worry about it. I mean, it doesn't
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: affect me inside, but I don't want to create a
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: problem for them to hint whatever. Okay, all right, let's
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: get back to this. So we want to So, how
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: do you overcome resistance by stop bringing new resistance in?
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: That's the key. So you just become aware that we're
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: we are creating resistance by the way we respond to
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: a situation. And I'm sure I haven't gone into enough
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: detail on that, so hopefully there's question so we'll get
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: back on point here. The opposite, well not the opposite
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: of resistance is acceptance, is it? I guess you could
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: say acceptance is the opposite of resistance. Acceptance is the answer.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: How do you overcome resistance through acceptance? And acceptance doesn't
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: mean that you love it. Acceptance means that you accept
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: that it is right now. The sun outside is shining
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: through the window. There's more light in this room than
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: there was earlier. Can I handle that? Can I accept that?
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Back to Michael Singer's terminology, can you handle it? That's
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: for me. I like that to understand acceptance. It's cold outside.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: If I walk outside without a coat, I'm gonna shiver.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: Can I accept that? Can I handle it? There's a
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: lot of things in the world that we have absolutely
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: no control over, pretty much everything. That will remind me
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: of just listening to the Dowdy ching earlier, and I
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: took a capture of some of that phrasing, So this
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: is from the Dowdy ching. There's a lot of translations
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: of it. There's on YouTube Wane Dyer reads it, and
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure who did the translation, but uh Wayne
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: Didyer is reading it, so i'll call it his. So
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: it says, do you think you can take over the
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: universe and improve it? I do not believe it can
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: be done. Everything under heaven is a sacred vessel and
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: cannot be controlled. Trying to control leads to ruin. Trying
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: to grasp, we lose. Trying to grasp, we lose. Allow
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: your life to unfold naturally. Know that it is too,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: a vessel of perfection, just as you breathe in and
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: breathe out. The key here is everything under heaven is
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: a sacred vessel and cannot be controlled. Trying to control
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: leads to ruin. If I walk outside and it's cold outside,
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: and I don't like that it's cold outside, it might
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: to develop some resistance. It shouldn't be cold outside. I
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: wanted to get this task done today. I wanted to
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: go have my picnic, but it's cold outside. Now it's uncomfortable.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: I don't like it's on resisting that. Does it do
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: any good to resist that? No, there's nothing I can
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: do to change that. I can I can adapt myself
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: to fit into that environment, but I cannot change the environment.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: There's nothing that I can do to change the weather outside.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: So can I accept it? If I can't accept it,
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: I'm going to resist it, and I'm going to create
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: problems for myself. I'm going to bother myself about that
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: if I can wait? What Yeah, So if I can't
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: accept it, then I can handle it. I'll put a
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: coat on, or I'll change my plans. I won't go in.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: When we started this today and I've had issues with
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: the microphones, did we handle it?
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: If we couldn't handle it, this wouldn't be happening right now.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: But it was.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: It was annoying, but nobody nobody got upset, lost or cool,
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: smashed anything, broken anything. We didn't quit, we didn't give up.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: We handled it. So when we are faced with resistance
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: or faced with an experience, it's uncomfortable or comfortable because
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: resistance goes both ways. When we face something that we
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: either don't want to experience or we want to we
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: don't want to leave, we don't want to let go
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: of We accept it. We practice acceptance by handling it.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: What can you do about it? Is there anything you
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: can do about it. No, accept it, move on. So
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: we let it go by letting it flow. Life is
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: just flowing and we're here riding on it. Alan Wattson
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: uses the imagery of you're on a river. Life is
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: the river. You're going downstream. You're in a boat. You're
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: going downstream. You can't against the current. You can try,
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: but you're not gonna do it. You can't do it.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: You can't do it for very long, especially so on
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: this on the flow of life, we're just going with
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: the flow. You can steer, you have a rudder, you
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: can steer a little bit to the left of the right.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: Maybe there's a tree next to the river and it's
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: really sunny out and you want to get in that
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: shade for as long as you can, so you steer
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: to the left. And you can have some preferences in
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: life and go some certain directions. You can try and
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: maneuver that way, but you're going in the direction that
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: the river is going in. So you just let it,
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: let it go that not wanting to go that direction,
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: you let it go by letting it flow. You get
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: into the flow of it, and you practice accepting it.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: So there's and that's a deeper, deeper lesson if you
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: want to experience, explore letting go of preferences and not
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: having expectations and stuff. Buddhism and Daoism can get into that,
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: and that could be another topic. But I don't want
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: to go too much into it right now. But you
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: handle it, so then let's talk about the practical application
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: of this idea. How do we handle it well? Joe
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: Despenza is another good name to look up. He talks
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: about our thoughts. He's a neuroscientist. Well you say chiropractor originally,
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: but now I call him he's an epigeneticist, neuroscientist, and
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: he studies this. He's been studying this stuff for a
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: long time, so he's pretty good authority on this element
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: of behavior change. We have our thoughts. Our thoughts create
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: our choices or lead to our choices. Our influence, I say,
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: influence our choices. Our choices determine our actions. Our actions
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: create our personality, and our personality defines our personal reality.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: I usually will look at that as the environment around me.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: But the things that I have influence over. Do I
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: put a poster on the wall, what kind of music
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: do I listen?
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: To.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: That's my personal reality, my environment. If my thoughts leap
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: to my choices, my choices to my actions, for actions
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: define my personality. My personality creates my personal reality. And
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: I want to change something in my life. Where do
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: I start? You can start at any point on there,
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: but maybe you start with your thoughts. Let's say you
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: start with your thoughts. Actually, usually it's personal reality is
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: where you start, because if you're doing something outside of you,
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: the n't your personal reality. My primary recommendation is to
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: get sticky notes and you write down what it is
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: you want to do differently, think about differently. For example,
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: I was studying reiki some years ago, and reiki has
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: seven principles and they and there was these these mantras
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: and they use just for today and then just for today.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: I will do my work honestly, just for today. I'll
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: be kind to everything. Just for today. I will not
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: get angry. And that was one that I that stood
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: out with me. I would often get frustrated with little things,
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: but printer doesn't work. I'm usually pretty patient with people,
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: but I have a lot of frustration with stupid things
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: like machines are they're not stupid, but when the machines
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: are acting stupidly. They don't act becau they're not people.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: But when machines aren't going the way I want them to,
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: when I resist my environment, then I would get angry.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: And so I wrote down these these seven mantras, and
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: I would rehearse them every morning and a couple times
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: about the day. I put them on sticky notes next
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: to my computer. I had it on my phone, and
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: for a few days I would make it a point
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: to read over these mantras and repeat them in my
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: head just for today, I will not get angry, et cetera.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: And I discovered that after a little while, I started
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: to think of them right in the moment when I
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: when I I drop something in the kitchen, and I'd
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: get mad, get angry in my head and frustrated, and
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: then I immediately think, just for today, I'll not get angry,
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: and it stopped me and I didn't engage in that
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: feeling any further.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I let it go.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: And so I let that in motion, that anger that
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: I just created anger, and then just let it dissipate
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: out of me. And it didn't last very long, and
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: I let it go. So that's an example of how
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: you can influence your environment to then influence your thoughts.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: So I had it written down a sticky note. Then
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: I thought about it more frequently. The more I thought
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: about it and got into my choices. My choice was
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: to get angry and not get angry when I dropped something,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: and then I didn't take any action about it. You know,
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: an action could have been to smash something or punch
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: something or kick something or do something else because I
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: was angry. And then if I do that all the time,
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: if I'm constantly punching walls because I'm angry, then I'd
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: become identified as someone who's angry and has anger problem,
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: and that's my personality. And then how's that that's gonna
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: then influence my personal reality even further. So, if you're
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: looking for something that you can do the easiest things,
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: get a packet of sticky notes and write down what
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: you want to think differently. How do you want to
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: think differently? What is the different thought you want to have?
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: And start just look at it as much as you can.
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: You have to break through the neuroscience research that Joda spends.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: The site says that ninety percent of our thoughts are
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: the same from day to day. If you think ninety
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: percent of the same things from day to day, your
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: actions are likely to be the same as they were
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: the day before. You need to break into that, and
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: you can break into that by changing your environment, putting
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: up notes, whatever. So that's one way you do that,
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: And it's a reminder personal personality creates personal reality, not
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: the other way around. So a lot of us think
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: that our personal reality our environment influences who we are
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: and how we become, and it does to extent. Remember
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: the domestication process. If I can be a product of
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: my environment, I don't have to be a product of
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: my environment, but I can be. If I'm not ac
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: if I'm not exercising intentional actions, I'm not coming from
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: a place awareness, I'm going to become compulsively reacting to
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: my environment, I will be a product of my environment.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: We are not that, though we can be. But that's
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: not that's the ego, that's this layer, this illusion of self.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: But the light, the light is not that. The light
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: is the creator. So the light is acting from your personality,
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: creating your personal reality instead of the other way.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: I guess what do you think? I sum it up
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: and I don't know what else to really hit on there,
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: So if there are any questions, we can hit those
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: for now.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: You think you have the importance of staying true to yourself, well,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: letting go of for asis.
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm looking at that too. Yeah, yeah, I don't.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: I don't want to. I think it's already said there.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Fascinating. Yeah, all right, a couple of comments here. Acceptance
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: is is key, correct, Yeah.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: I think so, right, because if we're not accepting it,
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: then we're likely resisting it. So again in the recap,
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: if you're resisting it, you're creating new struggles inside of you.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: Michael Singer says, we don't our life doesn't bother us.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: We bother ourselves about life. So if you don't want
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: to bother yourself about life, then you start to accept
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: accept that it is and reality is whatever is, whatever happened,
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: has happened, is done. It cannot happen again, It can't unhappen.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: It has happened. Can you accept that? If you can't,
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: then you're then you're in a state of resistance and
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: you're going to create more bother.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking of people who are are getting diagnosed with something,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: whether it's addiction, whether.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: It's cancer, addictions on a disease.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Whatever it may be. You know, stuff that we have
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: a very difficult time accepting. Like politically, yep, who are
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: next president?
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Is?
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Has become wish that we could have a different way
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: that a lot of this is so much easier said
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: than done, right, So what.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: You still got to do it? Yeah, it is and
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: we talked about that a few days ago when we're
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: doing the show and talking about this event and right,
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: these things are not easy, but it is a simple process.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: If you don't want to be bothered by something that,
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: don't be bothered by it. If you can get out
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: of it and get out of it. If you can't
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: get out of it, then endure it. And that's it's
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: not always it's not easy to do. It's very difficult
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: and it's usually very painful some of these experiences we
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: go through. And that's where Steven Pressfield talks about that.
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: I was that before we got recapped we restarted. I
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: remember if I mentioned Pressfield, I think it was that
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: was that was in this one. I remember. Stephen Pressfield
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: is author. He wrote a book called The War of Art,
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: and he talks about how resistance can be motivating or
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: can help us to achieve our goals. And you look
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: at a page and that's a resistance for the writer,
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: but they are challenged by it and it pushes them
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: and makes them move and to do things. So sometimes
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: resistance in a different context can be inspirational and motivational.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: But it's resistance is how we grow. I mean, if
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: you think about weightlifting and strength training, if there's no resistance,
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: there's no growth. If you lift the exact same weight
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: every single time, years and years and years and years,
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: you'll develop some tone, but it will never get bigger,
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: you'll never get stronger because you were facing the exact
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: same resistance the entire time. So there's there's an element
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: of resistance and that's necessary. And this is where acceptance
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: is so important. Well, I guess resistance and I want
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: to say that there's not an element of resistance, it's
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: necessary resistance in this context. I want to stay to that,
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: the context that I'm using that terminology in today. Resistance
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: is the way that we are experiencing the emotion that
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: happen that we've created inside ourselves. But there's there's there's
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: challenges in life, or I guess if you go by
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: the Dictionary definition of resistance, then there is a resist
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: in life. So that's a little confusing with the words there.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: But there's gonna be challenge in life. There's going to
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: be pain in life, and there's nothing that we can
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: do about that. It's going to be freezing cold outside.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: It's going to rain when you don't want it to rain.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: It's going to be overwhelmingly hot when you have to
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: do work on your house or whatever. There's going to
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: be sickness, There's going to be injuries. These are things
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: that we can't avoid. Is all part of life. What
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: we have is the ability to control how we respond
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: to those things. Not if I hit myself with a hammer,
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: I can't I can stop it from hurting. Maybe somewhere
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: somebody has trained themselves to do that, but I haven't.
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: If I hit myself with a hammer, it's gonna hurt.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: But does pain equal suffering? No? Suffering is the choice
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: that I have about how I respond to the pain.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: If I resist the pain, I'm likely to suffer. If
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: I accept the pain, well, I move on with my life.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Comment here from uh Kershaw working in the school and
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: knowing several people who survived the death camps. I hear
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: a lot about how can conditioning plays a huge part
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: in convincing people that they have no hope. Say again,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: working in the school and knowing several people who survived
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: the death camps, I hear a lot about how conditioning
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: plays a huge part in convincing people that they have
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: no hope. Are we or is society doing the same
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: with the immigrants from Central and South America and beyond? Probably?
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's a tough one. That's a big topic
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: to get into, what our responsibilities are to other people.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: I have big opinions on that and stuff, but I'll
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: try and keep it. I'll say that for another time
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: and keep it to the topic today. So yeah, I
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: think that culturally we are conditioning ourselves. That's part of
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: the domestication process. So we are domesticated by our parents
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: and then everyone else out of there. In sociology called
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: the agents of change. These are the primary factors in
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: our life lives that give us our moral base and
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: our understanding and all that. Our culture is a big probably,
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: you know, second to our parents. The culture is the
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: next step up. And that's such a hard one because
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: you have you have a lot of pockets of subcultures
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: within a giant culture. And then we have in America
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: we have this tradition of being the melting pot of
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: everybody bringing our cultures together and trying to fit them
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: in together. Yeah, I would I would say that culturally
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: conditioning plays a big part in that, because we are
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: getting caught up in our through our resistance that we have,
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: we develop these biases, we have these beliefs, and then
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: we because of our beliefs, we're either act we act
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: for against something strictly based off of that. It's just
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: our attachment to our beliefs, it's part of the ego.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: And then anybody who disagrees with us we a vilify
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: and push away.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: That topic is hard to get into because we all
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: have very different beliefs on it. So I think it's
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: something that I love to talk about, but maybe not
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: right now.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Just Spenza talks about breaking habits, either things that we
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: do physically or things that we do in our minds.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: A lot of us begin the day we wake up,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: we haven't even moved, and we're already scanning the field
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: like a computer looking for that negative thing. What's that
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: big stress that we have? To deal with today. What's
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: that weight that we've been carrying over the last couple
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: of weeks, or that event that took place yesterday at
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: the office or with my wife or whatever it's. We scan,
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: we find the negative bang, it's right there. We haven't
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: even gotten out of bed yet, and we're already spinning
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: some momentum of negativity. And then what do we do.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: We get on our phones. Our phones are full of
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: bad news or stressful text messages or things that reiterate
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: the negativity. And then we haven't even gotten out of
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: bed yet, and then we get into these habits. Breaking
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: those habits is very, very difficult, and then you've got
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: an energy that at some point it's either going to
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: fester all day or all week or all month and
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: then pop, or we have to find some kind of
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: healthy outlet to get it out, whether or not we're
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: seeking some therapy, whether or not we're having a constructive
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: conversation with our partner or our kids or our friends,
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: or we're working out at the gym, or we're taking
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: time officially for ourselves to do something that we enjoy,
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: whether it's working on a car that you're restoring or
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: or building or just sitting down and working on a puzzle,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: or reading a book, or sitting in your hot tap
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: doing something just for you.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: And sometimes that that can be resistance itself. If we're
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: distracting ourselves so we don't have to experience it, that
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: can be a form of resistance.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: In the habit of negative thoughts, right.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: And Jodas Benza talks about being addicted to suffering, and
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: that's a pretty real phenomenon. We're used to tho. We're
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: used to certain emotions and certain feelings, and so we
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: keep doing things. We put ourselves in the same spot
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: where we have things that are familiar, even if it's uncomfortable.
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: Do you have that email still up? I should one
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: of the images I sent you, yep, pop, the one
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: about this person jumping in a pool. It's pretty cluttered,
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: but you can get the idea, his idea of being
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: being comfortable and uncomfortable things. There's the other one, the
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: one that I told you was wrong before. It is
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: the right one. Now there you got that? Yeah, yeah,
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: pop that out there. This is this is an experience
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: that you've been related you can probably relate to. And
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: it's on the screen and you can read it. But
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you what it means. Anyway. Have you ever
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: been to a pool and it's hot out and you're comfortable,
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: and then you want to get in the water and
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: you put your foot in, it's freezing cold, and you think,
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: I'm not getting that, and so you don't want to
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: go in because it's uncomfortable. If you jump right into it,
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: you're uncomfortable for a little bit, but then you adapt
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: to it and now you're comfortable. And so now where
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: you were uncomfortable, you're now comfortable. You can become comfortable
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: in an uncomfortable situation and then you forget that it
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: was even uncomfortable in the first place. And now when
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: you come back out of the water, if you've been
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: in there for a while, you jump out and you're
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: freezing again. So where it was perfectly comfortable before and
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: it was hot before you went in the water, now
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: it's uncomfortable. And I don't know how well that works.
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: It holds up here, but this idea that sometimes it
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: takes some time for us to adapt, and but we
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: can become uncomfortable, or we can become comfortable with uncomfortable things.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: We adapt into it. And I think that's part of
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: the what like the the negative thought loops and the
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: suffering cycles that we get into. What's happening with that
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: is that we become comfortable in these uncomfortable situations, and
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: because it's familiar, we stay there, and oftentimes it's built
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: out of worrying. Right, So we get to all all
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: shaken up, and then it clouds our mind again. I
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: shook the bottle, but you don't have the picture on me,
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: so that didn't matter that I shook the bottle. I realized,
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: now it's a look over your shoulder. Now I'll shake
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: the bottle. Right, I forgot what I was saying. Line
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: gets cluttered, Yeah, exactly right. So we get caught up
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: in the worry, That's what it was. So we get
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: caught up in the worry, and then we're thinking about
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: all the things that could go wrong and our expectations
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: derail us.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: What's the best way for people to contact you, Paul.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: Leave me alone? This is the best way. Leave me
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: alone at Gmail. I'm not just kidding. Imagine moving on
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: dot com? So Jad mentioned that earlier. Imagine my imagine
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: moving on dot com. Imagine moving on as a phrase
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: I pulled from a book called the Biology of Desire
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: that I read early on when I first started working.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: I'm a driving alcohol counselor. In case you don't know me,
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: which probably some people don't, I was going to talk
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: about myself, but I didn't give you some background. Instead,
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I'm just a mysterious character. Well, if I start telling
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: my story now, it'll be another half hour. I'm long winded,
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: but we'll just I read the book The Biology of Desire,
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: and the subtitle on that is why addiction is not
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: a disease when I first started doing this work. I
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: guess I'll tell that story because I was asked about
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: that earlier, so fill in some details. I studied psychology.
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: I have had throughout my life pretty significant experience with
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: depression and anxiety. And so when I when I was
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: twenty six or twenty seven, I finally decided to go
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: to college, and I decided to study psychology try and
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: understand myself, my own experience and that of other people
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: in my life. And I studied psychology, and I thought
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: that meant that therapy, you know, becoming a therapist was
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: the was the career path for that. But then I
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: had a class on different careers in it and apparently
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: you can do all kinds of things with psychology. So
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: then I completely abandoned the therapy route. And one of
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: my professors actually said that he told us about how
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: he had started out as a therapist, and then one day,
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: after a couple of months of working as a therapist,
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: he realized, all day long, I'm talking to people that
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: are depressed and really miserable, and he hated it. So
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: he decided to go and teach instead. And so I thought, yeah,
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: that makes sense. I don't want to do that job.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Then when I got out of got a bachelor's degree,
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: and it's hard to find a job with a psychology
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: bachelor's degree that pays well and was sustainable and all that.
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: So I worked in a psychiatric facility for a little bit.
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: That wasn't the way the place was run I think
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: turned me off more than the work I was doing.
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: Then I ended up starting a master's program, and I
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: looked at addiction counseling and a couple other master's programs emphasis,
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: and then I settled on industrial organizational psychology, which it
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: would be more geared towards business. It's human metrics finding
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: the right person for the right job, right job for
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: the right person that kind of stuff, and that was
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: really interesting to me. But the being a general psychology
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: degree with an emphasis in iopsych that made it more
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: applicable to a bunch of different jobs. Well, I got
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: the degree and then spend a couple of months, I
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: think it was over a year applying for different jobs
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: and not finding any anything. At the you know, the
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: big push for you need to have the experience and
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: the education. I didn't have any experience. I had in education,
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: but that wasn't working out for me. And then eventually
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: I saw the posting for a clinician job at the
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: methadone subox one clinic, and I didn't think that they
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: would hire me because I didn't have any experience. I
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: didn't study counseling, I didn't study substance use. I didn't
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: have any experience with the either one and but they
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: hired me. I think having most of my life till
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: about six years ago, I was participant in the church
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: and there was a lot it was all volunteer clergy,
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: so I have quite an extensive history of different leadership
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: and teaching roles within the church and that helped me,
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: I think in that job interview, but it turned out
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: that I really really liked the work, even though when
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: I started out, I had no clue what I was
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: doing in that context. I feel like, but I was
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: told addiction is a disease, and so I accepted that.
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: I agreed with that opinion that I was given. And
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: then I found that book, The Biology of Desire, Why
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Addiction is Not a disease, and I thought that's interesting.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Mark Lewis is the author, and I read that and
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: that one really shaped where I went from there and
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: in the work that I was doing. That was probably
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, right when I started this. Anyway,
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: in that book, Sea, I told you as long winded,
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: there's a long backstory. In that book, he's talking about
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: a person that he had worked with who had experienced
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: addiction and she'd overcome that and now she was working
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: in a like a residential facility helping you for a
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: dictionar rehabilitation. And he said she knew more than most,
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: better than most, that until you can imagine moving on,
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: you're not going to have any change. And so we
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: get into the Jodas Benza, the thoughts, choices, actions, pattern breaking,
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: the habit of the negative thoughts and all of that
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: until you can imagine moving on. That's why I liked
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: that phrase so much. And then so I registered the
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: dot com and I've had it all these years and
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: I haven't really done anything with it. So to answer
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: your question, that's how people get a hold of me,
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: imagine moving on dot com. I forgot how we got
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: to this topic, but imagine moving on, because that's where
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: it starts. If you can't picture it in your head.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: If you can't picture getting over the depression, getting through
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: the anxiety, getting over the addiction, if you can't even
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: picture it, you can't visualize, it's not gonna happen. You
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: have to believe that it's possible. You have to be
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: able to imagine it at least. And so that's that's
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: where we're at. And what I want to do with
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: Imagine moving On is to get into a place where
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: we can help people overcome resistance. That's where this came about.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: You and I have been talking JD. You and I've
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: been talking about this for a couple of years, doing
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: these speaking events. This was something that you wanted to
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: do and I like that, and then I want to
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: break into that as well and just be able to
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: present more information to people, because if we don't have
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: the information, then we can't act on it. We need to,
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: we need to know it. And that's why I think this,
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: this format is going to be great. We can bring
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: in a lot of different speakers and different perspectives, different opinions,
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: and expand people's horizons and or minds and whatever.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah what else you were thinking? One per month?
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the plan. And I think I think the
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: in person will be good. This is this worked out? Okay,
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: but it'll be nice to have more people and we
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: don't have to worry about the microphones and the technical difficulties.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we did.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: We created a survey that I guess it will come
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: up as a separate post. You'll post a link on
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: the right out page after So if you've if you've
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: watched this, if you watched it a live, if you
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: watch it afterwards, look for that link. It's through survey Monkey.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: You can click on there. It's the eight nine or
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: ten questions statements that you can click agree with, disagree with, whatever,
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: and a couple of questions asking about how this went
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: and also what are some topics you might like to
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: see in the future that would be great if you
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: can provide that feedback for us.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Doctor Rick Barnett is going to be coming in
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: at some point next and tell everyone a little bit
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: about doctor doctor Barnett.
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: Doctor Barnett is a psychologist out of Stowe and he
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: does therapy. He's the president a creator of the Vermont
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Psychedelics Society Vermont Orro Psychedelic Society for which the terminology
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: is and SO, which is a network of professionals in
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: the mental health substance abuse field working with psychedelic assistant therapies, treatments,
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: and also the like social elements of it. They're pushing
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: for legislation to decriminalize psychedelic substances for the purpose of
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: therapy and sharing the all the research is being done.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of research that indicates that psychedelics can
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: be very beneficial in mental health treatments and substance use
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: treatment addiction treatments. So we're hopeful that that becomes more
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: of an option for us. There are ketamine treatments being
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: used now as there are several practitioners more every day,
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: it seems like throughout the state who are qualified and
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: credentialed to provide Kedemede Assistant treatment Kedemene is. I think
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: it's a synthetic psychedelic and the user for us in
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: anesthetics in the hospital, like I had it when I
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: had a surgery and had I've given that. But it
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: has positive benefits in treating anxiety depression. So Rick is
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: well well versed in in that field.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: We also say that we welcome some ideas like you
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: alluded to, and we also welcome other speakers too to
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: be coming in here. And there's a lot of expertise
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: out there and we're just barely scratching the surface here.
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and this doesn't have to be like this. I mean,
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: we kind of like thought of modeling after Ted Talks
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: to get this started, and this is just this is
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: a just a live run. We're figuring it out as
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: we go and open to whatever. The point I think
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: is just to share information to get community discussions going. Yeah,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: to help you know, in a in a like the
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: topic of this topic. If we had an audience, a
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: physical audience, we could address specific things. Sure, potentially if
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: we were to hit onto like more community oriented things
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: like how do we handle addiction in our community? That
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: could be a useful forum discussion. So there's a lot
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: of things that it could be beneficial of having people
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: in place.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: We all, in some way or another, seem like we
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: need to hit the reset button in a few different
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: areas of our lives. And some of this is super
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: super private. But to connect with people, I think that's
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: that's one of the big the big takeaways here is connectivity.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: We need to connect with people. We need to be
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: relatable and relevant with our topics here, and we're going
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: to attempt to do that here with this speaker series.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: Well, and that it goes back to the question or
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: the statement that you read earlier about how how our
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: culture is influencing the like the topic of immigration. That's
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: a good one I have a discussion on. It's one
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: that's so hotly debated. There's there's such a divide on that,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: and so there's some people that will not listen to
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: anything on the other side. No matter it doesn't matter
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: what side you're on, you will not listen to anything.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: And those are the kind of conversations that we need
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: to have. Nothing is too dangerous to talk about, and
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: we need to be able to sit and handle it.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: Can you handle it? Can you handle somebody has a
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: different opinion than you. You know, this last week was
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: really interesting to me. On Thursday, I had a session
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: with somebody who was very pro Trump, and then on Friday,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: I had someone with a session with someone who was
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: very much not that, And so I got I heard
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: both perspectives, and I can relate with both sides of
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: you know, each each one of their perspectives, and it
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: was interesting. I learned some things, some information I wasn't
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: aware of from one of them, and but it was
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: just interesting to see such a such a contrast between
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: the two and like they both described a different world
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 3: and the one I'm in. Like, that's that's the interesting part.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: That they both have such strong opinions and we all
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: you know, we all do and whatever you can find
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: the thing that excites people. But it was just it
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: was really interesting to see the contrast in that. And
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: I imagine it might be difficult for them to sit
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: down with each other without dismissing each other right off
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: the bat and to actually have a conversation. And that's
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: the that's the acceptance part of it. I don't have
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: to agree with you, but can I can I accept
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: Is it okay that you have a different opinion than me.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: You you witnessed the conversation with me with somebody one
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: time after a show where I said, okay, we disagree,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: it's all right, we think differently, and the other person
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: kept repeating to me that it would be your opinion
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: is wrong. I said, I said, but it's okay that
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: we have different opinions, right, And he said, and you
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: have your opinion is wrong. And he's playing to some extent,
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: but also the inability to acknowledge that, yes, it's okay
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: that we have different opinions. I think that's a form
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: of resistance. You know, he's something inside of him. He
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: wasn't His ego wouldn't allow him to accept that. That's
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: the kind of stuff. We got to be able to
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: get past that so that we can have these conversations. Yea.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: Otherwise we're not going to grow, We're not gonna get anywhere.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: Fascinating, Thank you, Paul. Imagine moving on dot com.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: Moving on dot com, I put up there's two pages
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: on there. I got suggested reading. I've listed some books
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: that I haven't read writing about, But just if you're
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: looking for a book to read and pop on there
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: and see some suggestions and then YouTube links to some videos.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: I think is that all on imagine? Moving on dot com?
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: The upper right there's a menu I need to I'm
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: not good at web development and web building stuff. It's
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: all on WordPress, but it's just using their templates. But
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: there's a there's menus on the upper right. You'll see
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: it suggested reading and YouTube links.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: Thank you for doing this today, sure, thank you.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: This has been fun.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: Keep the comments coming, Questions to get better, gonna be watching, Yeah,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: thank you, buddy.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: All right, don't don't don't at a motion so suspence
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: and tast of two pages