Latest / Mindful Success Path / How to Use Feminine Energy in Dating (Based on Polarity)
Transcript
- 0:32Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right in dating, but still not attracting the kind of masculine partner that you want?
- 0:40Well, my dear, you might be leading with your masculine energy in dating without even realizing it.
- 0:46And in this video I'm gonna show you how to use your feminine energy.
- 0:49So you can attract love without chasing, performing, or burning yourself out.
- 0:53Because I attracted my husband in four months after I decided I was ready to get married.
- 0:57I didn't mess with a single dating app.
- 0:59And it all comes down to the embodiment and becoming the woman that you need to be to attract that masculine.
- 1:07Man.
- 1:08Hi, my name is Amanda.
- 1:09Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:18So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe.
- 1:21Hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video and share this out.
- 1:25With a friend.
- 1:26We're talking a lot about nervous system regulation, relationship dynamics, prosperity, consciousness.
- 1:32We get, we get down with the woo around here and as always, I have resources where, for those of you who wanna go deeper into this work, you can find all the resources in the description for this particular one.
- 1:43Um, I'm going to say the Enhance your Feminine Energy Guide, which you can get for free and it'll get you added to our email list as well.
- 1:52I would also say the masterclass I just created on masculine and feminine energy dynamics and how to use them in different areas in your life and how to.
- 2:03Harmonize these energies within you so you can manifest what it is that you desire.
- 2:07And I'm just gonna say this in every video moving forward, um, my masterclass on nervous system regulation called from Hustle to harmony.
- 2:15Because what I don't want to happen is that you start.
- 2:18Bringing in what it is that you desire and then you find a way to sabotage it.
- 2:21And that all comes down to nervous system regulation.
- 2:25In fact, everything basically that we talk about when it comes to manifesting is nervous system, uh, regulation because you will manifest to the point where your nervous system feels safe.
- 2:35So you can find the links to all of this stuff, below.
- 2:38So let's get into it, right?
- 2:40First part, what is feminine energy?
- 2:43Uh, in relationships and through this concept of, uh, polarity.
- 2:48'cause a lot of people teach this feminine energy stuff and they're like, put on a cute dress, do your makeup like this, self care.
- 2:54All that stuff is great, but it's basic.
- 2:56We're looking at this from the lens of the principle of polarity.
- 2:59So really you have, uh, the law of polarity basically states that, um, everything exists on a spectrum.
- 3:08Right.
- 3:08So you have black, you have white on the color spectrum, you have light and you have dark.
- 3:13You have night and you have day, uh, you have masculine and you have feminine.
- 3:18You have a rich and you have poor, right?
- 3:21Everything's on a spectrum, and the law of polarity basically states that everything is on this spectrum, or here's another way that the law of polarity shows up to every problem.
- 3:30There is a solution.
- 3:32Now in this case, we're talking about the spectrum of masculine and feminine.
- 3:35There's feminine on one pole, masculine on the other.
- 3:37When there's polarity between the two, they attract each other like magnets.
- 3:42Magnets is actually, uh, another form of polarity of the negative and the positive, and they attract.
- 3:48That's what we're going for.
- 3:50When we're dating.
- 3:50So you have to be in the more feminine pole so he can be in the more masculine pole.
- 3:57Um, and honestly, like a lot of the dudes that are trying to like try you or manipulate you, or they're feminized, they're either gonna fall away or they're not even gonna see you.
- 4:06Right?
- 4:06And by the same token, all them, there's masculine men all around, but they may not be able to see you right now.
- 4:12Uh, so when you start embodying more of the feminine pole, then they're gonna be able to see you, because when you lean into your feminine and you create that polarity, that's the spark that draws the masculine in and makes him very attracted to you.
- 4:26So now we start talking about.
- 4:28Feminine energy in action.
- 4:30Again, this is not meant to be performative.
- 4:32This is who you have to become, darling.
- 4:34So number one is being receptive, not passive.
- 4:38So you gotta let him initiate and lead, and you have to receive without overanalyzing or overgiving.
- 4:44A lot of women will plan the dates.
- 4:49Reach out to him first.
- 4:50You get anxious inside because you're not hearing anything.
- 4:54So you're dealing with your own emotions and then you wanna talk to him.
- 4:57To, um, discharge those emotions is the best way that I can say it.
- 5:03So then you talk too much.
- 5:04There's way too much going on'cause you're just uncomfortable, right?
- 5:07And because you're uncomfortable, you feel like you need to go do something.
- 5:11And what happens is, instead of leaning back, you start taking the lead because you are getting triggered for some reason.
- 5:18And then what happens is he will not initiate and he will not lead, if you do that, some ways that this even shows up in the most basic ways that women are on dates and they're just talking too much, right?
- 5:30There's no space for, for just allowing that time to be there, if that makes sense.
- 5:36Like you always gotta fill the time with something.
- 5:38A lot of women will do that.
- 5:40So one simple thing you can do is shut up.
- 5:43Shut up and let him lead.
- 5:45The other thing is you wanna receive without overanalyzing or over giving.
- 5:49I've done other videos on why it's so difficult for women to receive and how to start turning that around.
- 5:54So definitely make sure to check those out.
- 5:57Uh, but basically you wanna learn how to not just receive.
- 6:00Right and say thank you instead of like feeling like you gotta give something back to the person or say something back to the person, but also doing it in a way that, uh, where you're emotional about it.
- 6:13Right?
- 6:13And I don't mean emotional like in a dramatic way.
- 6:15Let me give you an example.
- 6:17My husband, uh, recently got me a swing set for our back porch.
- 6:21We have a back porch where we have a view of Lake Al.
- 6:24Here in Mexico, it's a fantastic view.
- 6:27And he was like, you know what?
- 6:28Let me get her a swing so she can enjoy the view, and she could just swing out here.
- 6:31He gets me a swing.
- 6:32He comes upstairs, he goes to swing, came in and he got me on video and I was like, no.
- 6:38Right.
- 6:38And I run outside and I'm just so happy on that swing, right?
- 6:42And I'm just like having the time of my life and I'm thanking him and I'm receiving it.
- 6:46I'm not just receiving it.
- 6:48I'm receiving it with the joy that I actually feel.
- 6:50Right?
- 6:51So it's both right?
- 6:52It's not just saying the right, he's here, he's smiling, he heard me love you.
- 6:58Um, uh, so it's not just, um.
- 7:01Receiving in terms of like, thank you.
- 7:04It's also receiving with the joy that you actually feel and that's going to make a masculine man wanna give to you more if you feel uncomfortable doing that.
- 7:13I talk about a lot of exercises to help with that in my, hustle to Harmony masterclass.
- 7:17'cause a lot of it has to do with regulating your nervous system and feeling safe.
- 7:21Receiving.
- 7:22So make sure to grab that below.
- 7:23Next thing is you wanna express your feelings, not your resume.
- 7:26Girl, please stop talking about your work history and the alphabet soup at the end of your name on dates, because men do not care.
- 7:34The only men who care about how much money you make and what you do for a living and what you can.
- 7:40Like do for them financially are men who are about to play you and want you to pay your their bills and want a mother.
- 7:49Those are the only ones who want that because masculine men literally do not care what you do for a living.
- 7:56They do not care.
- 7:57Um, they care about how you make them feel.
- 8:00That's what they care about.
- 8:02So, and it doesn't mean that they don't want a smart or intelligent woman.
- 8:05It is just that's not how men relate to women.
- 8:08That's not how masculine men, uh, relate.
- 8:10And it's not what creates attraction.
- 8:12So when you're talking about all your accolades, and I used to do this, right?
- 8:17This was so bad.
- 8:18I used to do this when I was dating, when you're talking about all your, because that's all I had.
- 8:22I had a whole identity built around my achievements, right.
- 8:25For like 10 years.
- 8:26Um.
- 8:27And when you start talking about, um, you know, what you do for a living and how much money you make and all that kind of stuff, like you're just relating to him based on logic, and that's not what makes men attracted to women.
- 8:41What, what makes men attracted to women is when you connect via the heart, what is the heart in motion?
- 8:46So you share what you, you share how you feel, not what you do.
- 8:50Even when I met my husband, my husband and I met through a networking group.
- 8:54We met through work and you know, we would work on some projects together because we had some similar clients, but when we had like our downtime where we were just hanging out, uh, and this was all online by the way,'cause he was living in Mexico already.
- 9:07So we met online and we met through a networking group and I could do another video and we're two meet masculine, high performing men if you want me to.
- 9:14But we met through a networking group.
- 9:16And like there were times when we were working on projects together, but we became friends and when we were becoming friends, like I wasn't talking to him about like, oh, I made this much money last year and I got this certification and I got this degree.
- 9:30No, it was like, oh, I'm reading this interesting book right now.
- 9:33Or for example, in his case, because he was already living in other countries.
- 9:36And that was something that I always wanted to do, and I just hadn't like actually done it outta fear or whatever.
- 9:42I was like, oh man, I really, can you tell me more?
- 9:44Because I'd really love to learn more about this, uh, because this is a dream that I've had for a really long time.
- 9:50Like, would you be able to tell me more?
- 9:51Stuff like that, right?
- 9:52Like it wasn't like.
- 9:55It wasn't about my job.
- 9:56Right.
- 9:57And it wasn't about my education, it wasn't about any of that stuff.
- 9:59And he doesn't care.
- 10:00He doesn't care how much money I make, right?
- 10:03That's the point that I'm trying to make.
- 10:04The only men who care are men who want a mother, not men who want a wife, right?
- 10:10Um, so, uh, or other things is, is I would say, oh, my husband did this thing that was great.
- 10:17Uh, so this would be an example.
- 10:19He found out I had cats, uh, and the cats would always like jump on the laptop.
- 10:24Uh, while we were working.
- 10:25And so he met some of the cats, uh, back when I was in Miami and he bought my cats like a, like a cardboard, laptop, scratching post thing, right?
- 10:36Oh my gosh.
- 10:37My heart melted, right?
- 10:38I was like, oh my gosh, that feels amazing that you did that.
- 10:41You see what I was saying?
- 10:42Like it wasn't about like, they don't want another bro, okay?
- 10:47They don't want another bro, and they don't want an employee and they don't want a secretary.
- 10:50And the ones that they do, you need to just run.
- 10:52Okay, the next thing is radiance over, uh, performance, right?
- 10:57So you wanna focus on joy, pleasure, and presence.
- 11:00Um, I would venture to say this has a lot to do with receiving, right?
- 11:03So again, it's that pleasure.
- 11:04It's not just like, thank you.
- 11:06It's like joy and being in the moment and having a good time and having fun.
- 11:11And again, realizing that you don't need to impress anybody with anything.
- 11:15You just need to express yourself because it's your glow that draws him in.
- 11:19Not the checklist.
- 11:20They do not care about the checklists.
- 11:23And a lot of women are going out here on dates with a checklist this freaking long, and they're going into a date like it's a freaking job interview.
- 11:30And that doesn't work ladies.
- 11:31It does not work for attracting masculine men.
- 11:36The other thing you wanna do is you wanna let him step into the masculine so you don't wanna micromanage or compete.
- 11:41So remember how I said my husband and I met through work?
- 11:43I wasn't competing with him.
- 11:46I had no interest in competing with him.
- 11:48Even though we met in a networking group of high performers, I had zero interest in competing with him or micromanaging him or any of that.
- 11:55Now, like for fun, we'll do a joke and we'll be like, let's see who can grow.
- 11:58Grow a YouTube channel the fastest.
- 12:00But it's like playful.
- 12:01It's fun.
- 12:01It's not like a, I don't know, like I, I hear these stories sometimes from women who like resent their husbands because.
- 12:08Their husband like, got all this success and stuff and they didn't.
- 12:11That's what I mean by competing.
- 12:13And I'm like, why would you resent your hu Like, I don't understand, like you're, you're on the same team.
- 12:18Like what is this competition against each other kind of thing.
- 12:21Like something fun is no big deal, but like, is that resentment that sometimes women feel, uh, because their spouse is like successful and then they feel like they didn't have a career or whatever.
- 12:31Like, girl, I wanna stop you from having a career.
- 12:33You could have done it, but.
- 12:36Uh, yeah, they have this weird resentment.
- 12:38That's what I'm talking about in, in terms of, uh, competition.
- 12:42Um, and also I didn't joke with my husband about that until like, after we were married.
- 12:47Like when we were just getting to know each other and dating, like we didn't even talk about work unless we were working like, like outside of work.
- 12:55We weren't talking about that stuff.
- 12:57And I think sometimes what happens is like women are not very dynamic these days.
- 13:03Like y'all don't have hobbies.
- 13:04You don't have interests outside of your achievements or outside of school, like, I don't know, like go read a book or something or go read several books and go get a hobby.
- 13:15Like have something else to talk about other than what you do for a living.
- 13:19Um, so the next thing you wanna do.
- 13:21Otherwise you run, you run the risk of being the masculine one in the relationship.
- 13:25'cause again, it's logic to logic.
- 13:27Next thing you wanna do is you wanna ask for help.
- 13:28You wanna let him solve problems.
- 13:30I was constantly asking my husband for help.
- 13:32I just set the example of how, you know, my husband lived in other countries already and it was something that I always really wanted to do and I was really curious about it and I was asking him for help with it.
- 13:42And then, you know, eventually I would end up in Mexico right where?
- 13:46Where he wasn't married.
- 13:47Right.
- 13:48But at the time I wasn't even looking at it like a, oh, I'm gonna marry this guy, or anything like that.
- 13:53At the time I was like, oh, how cool that I know somebody who's actually like, doing the thing that I've been desiring to do for many years.
- 14:00You know?
- 14:00Even if, even if this doesn't go anywhere, like it's good to have that because I'm so curious about this.
- 14:05I've been researching it for a long time.
- 14:06Hey, can you help me?
- 14:07So that would be, um, an example or, you know, if I were to get, I would, I remember one time I was in the middle of like a.
- 14:14A launch of a product in my old business and I, I was having like massive tech issues.
- 14:20I had no idea what to do.
- 14:21I was so frustrated.
- 14:22I reached out to him for help and one of the things I noticed again was, and this was before we were even dating, I realized how reliable he was, uh, and that he actually did what he said he was going to do.
- 15:33And I was like, green.
- 15:35Noted.
- 15:36Um, so again, like you don't have to do it all.
- 15:39You don't have to compete with the guy.
- 15:40You don't have to plan everything.
- 15:42You don't have to fix all your problems.
- 15:44Like let, letting him lead invites in healthy polarity.
- 15:48And I know that even asking for help can seem difficult.
- 15:51And again, that's'cause your nervous system doesn't feel safe.
- 15:54So go to that Hustle to Harmony masterclass to learn about nervous system regulation.
- 16:01The next thing you wanna do is you wanna lean into mystery and slowness.
- 16:04You wanna reveal yourself gradually.
- 16:06You wanna have fun with this, right?
- 16:07I don't wanna say you hide stuff, right?
- 16:10But you reveal yourself gradually.
- 16:12Like my husband, even to this day, jokes, he's like.
- 16:15I'm just always discovering something new about you.
- 16:18The reason he's always discovering something new about me is because I have hobbies and I have interests, and I'm always learning something new.
- 16:25And so that's, ladies, go read a book.
- 16:28Seriously.
- 16:30Right?
- 16:30Go find a hobby.
- 16:32Um, so he even says this to this day, like, I'm always learning something new, uh, about you, right?
- 16:38So you wanna reveal yourself.
- 16:40Uh, gradually.
- 16:41This is not the same as hiding information.
- 16:43It just means that everybody doesn't need to know everything when they first meet you.
- 16:47Okay.
- 16:47It is just all just common sense.
- 16:49Now, the place where I would say don't do this, um, that people tell you to do this, I'm like, this is horrible Advice is when it comes to your desires for marriage and children.
- 16:58'cause a lot of people will say, oh, don't tell'em you wanna get married and have kids right away.
- 17:03And I'm like, okay, so you're gonna waste your time instead.
- 17:05So reveal yourself gradually, except when it comes to.
- 17:10What your values are and that you wanna get married and that you wanna have kids.
- 17:15Otherwise, you're gonna end up in a situationship for three years.
- 17:17That goes nowhere, right?
- 17:19And then you have a conversation later where you're like, I wanna get married.
- 17:22And then you find out he doesn't wanna get married.
- 17:23So except for those three things.
- 17:26Yes, reveal yourself gradually.
- 17:29You don't need to be talking to him 24 7 like he's your girlfriend.
- 17:32You don't need to be doing that.
- 17:33You don't need to be answering his texts right away.
- 17:36If you're dating like you got a life girl, go get a life if you don't have one.
- 17:41Okay, go get hobbies.
- 17:42Go read books.
- 17:44I say this lovingly, but uh, a lot of women don't like their whole life is their job.
- 17:50And who they're dating and I'm like, girl, you know, there's more to life than just that.
- 17:55Go take a trip, go do something.
- 17:56Right?
- 17:57And then you have something else to talk about.
- 17:59The other thing you don't wanna do is you don't wanna rush the relationship timeline.
- 18:03You want this to be a slow burn on your part, ladies.
- 18:05And if you allow it to be a slow burn on your part, trust me, if he is a masculine man, he will move heaven and earth in order to move the relationship forward.
- 18:14You won't even have to, right?
- 18:16He's gonna do it, but you have to be leaned back and you have to be calm, cool, and collected.
- 18:20Now, how do you do this right now?
- 18:22Some women.
- 18:23Do the rotational dating thing, meaning you have a bench, is basically what it means, let's call it, for what it is.
- 18:28It's a bench and, um, I never even had to do that, to be honest.
- 18:33Uh, because I'm like, that's just way too much energy.
- 18:35Like I'm kind of an introvert.
- 18:37That's way too much energy.
- 18:38That being said, I kind of did my own version of it where I opened myself up to receive masculine energy all around me.
- 18:46If a colleague wanted to help me at work, like I said, I would let him do it if someone asked me out.
- 18:52On a date, I would go with it.
- 18:54And I think the other reason why I didn't have to do the rotational dating, if I'm being honest, and the whole app thing is because I was surrounded by high performing men all the time because of my job, right?
- 19:03Or my business at the time.
- 19:05So I just didn't see the need because I'm like, there's literally masculine men all around me that are giving me attention.
- 19:11Like the week that my husband and I met, I'd been hit on by three other guys from the same networking group.
- 19:17And it it's because I was embodying.
- 19:19Um, that feminine energy, right?
- 19:22So I didn't feel the need to go on apps and have a bench and do all the rotational dating'cause I was already surrounded by masculine men.
- 19:29You know, that's a hack.
- 19:30Go where they're hanging out.
- 19:32Um.
- 19:33So I didn't feel the need to do that because I was already getting all this attention and I was open, uh, to the attention, which also helped me with my husband.
- 19:41'cause my husband and I were friends obviously.
- 19:42I noticed.
- 19:43Oh, he's cute.
- 19:43He noticed I was cute.
- 19:44Right.
- 19:45But it would be six months before we started dating.
- 19:48Like we were obviously attracted to each other, but it would be another six months and then, you know.
- 19:52You know, it didn't take long for us to get engaged and get married.
- 19:56Um, but the, the thing that was helpful at the time is because I was so open to receiving from masculine men all around me, then I wasn't hyperfocused, uh, on the man who would end up being my husband.
- 20:08I was not hyperfocused on him at all.
- 20:10The mistake that a lot of women make is they hyperfocus in on that one.
- 20:13And I know because you guys asked me in the comment section, they're like, how do I do this?
- 20:17Do I get this one guy to do this right?
- 20:19And I'm like, girl.
- 20:20Go get yourself some other guys or get attention from other guys.
- 20:23It's if you're not married, right?
- 20:25If you're married, obviously totally different story.
- 20:27If you're not married, go get yourself some attention.
- 20:31From other men instead of fixating on this one guy because that just, pushes him away more than anything because you're the one taking the role and you're the one who's obsessive about it.
- 20:41And I've said this before, like you want him to be more into you than you are into him.
- 20:46So those of you who are asking the questions, how do I.
- 20:49Getting my feminine energy so I could see that this guy should marry me.
- 20:52Like you're way more into him than he is into you.
- 20:54You're already asking the wrong question.
- 20:56Big si Amanda talking here, right?
- 20:58So if you're not married, go open yourself getting attention from other men, right?
- 21:03Open yourself up, uh, because what are you gonna do?
- 21:06Just like drag your feet the rest of the time until these people decide what they want with you?
- 21:10Absolutely not.
- 21:11You don't have time for that.
- 21:12Right.
- 21:12You have a life, you, you're worthy.
- 21:15You could go do other things other than wait around for somebody.
- 21:18So now if you're married, obviously we're having different problems in a different.
- 21:24Conversation, but we're talking about dating this particular, um, video, right?
- 21:30So you don't wanna rush the relationship timeline.
- 21:32You don't wanna jump in, you don't want things to go too fast.
- 21:36Um, you know, and that brings us to the next point, right?
- 21:39Which is you wanna hold soft boundaries, right?
- 21:41So you wanna say no with grace.
- 21:43So if you wants to sleep with you the first night, you say no with Grace.
- 21:47If he's like, be my girlfriend within like a week, and the guy barely knows you, right?
- 21:51Say no with grace.
- 21:53Um, you know, and my husband didn't even, this is so crazy.
- 21:57Like my, we were in different countries, right?
- 21:59And my feminine energy was so strong and, you know, granted my husband had experience, had dated a lot of women before me, so I guess by the time he got to me, like he knew what he had.
- 22:10Um, but this is so crazy.
- 22:11It got to the point where like, he himself, right?
- 22:16Got to a point where he's like, I'm not gonna see other women.
- 22:19He was in another country, we weren't even in the same place.
- 22:23Right.
- 22:23And my feminine energy was so strong and he knew that he wanted to marry me, that he willingly said, I'm not gonna be dating other women.
- 22:31I'm not gonna do it.
- 22:32Like, it's okay if you wanna go date other guys.
- 22:34I understand.
- 22:35Whatever.
- 22:35I just want you to know I'm not dating other women I want from another country.
- 22:40Okay.
- 22:42Um, so, and that was a few months.
- 22:45That was like a few months in.
- 22:47Okay.
- 22:47That wasn't like in the first week.
- 22:49That was like three months in of us knowing each other.
- 22:52Probably no six months.
- 22:54We knew each other before there was the, the attraction.
- 22:58So I would say maybe like a couple months in to realizing like, Hey, there's an attraction here.
- 23:02Right.
- 23:02That's when he's like, I'm gonna cut myself off.
- 23:04It wasn't like in the first 24 hours, if it would've been in the first 24 hours, I would've been like, that's so flattering.
- 23:10Thank you.
- 23:13And I'm gonna keep seeing other people.
- 23:14You know what I mean?
- 23:16Um, so say no with grace, right?
- 23:19Don't get mad at them.
- 23:21Just be like, thank you, I'm flattered and no.
- 23:23Right?
- 23:24And you wanna protect your energy without closing your heart.
- 23:27And again, it's just about being smart ladies, right?
- 23:30It's just about being smart, um, and making sure that you're open to the experiences without.
- 23:37Completely shutting down.
- 23:38And if you wanna learn more about how to do that, check out the feminine energy and masculine energy, uh, polarity masterclass that I did.
- 23:47'cause I go into more details about, uh, how to do this kind of stuff.
- 23:52And then finally number seven is trust instead of control.
- 23:55I will say this is something that by the time I met my husband, I had it down right.
- 23:59I had figured this one out.
- 24:00And you wanna know why?
- 24:01Because I had trusted God.
- 24:03I had trusted the universe, I had surrendered to the universe.
- 24:06I stopped trying to trust men or this man or that man, and I said, God, show me what you got, basically is what I did.
- 24:12Spirit show me the way.
- 24:14Um, so you wanna trust instead of control.
- 24:16When you're able to do that, you detach you outcomes.
- 24:21Again, a lot of you're out here very fixated on one man and you wanna manipulate him into getting him to doing the thing that you want him to do.
- 24:30You gotta let that all go, girl.
- 24:32You gotta let it go.
- 24:34And I know that it's really hard because you feel safe when you control.
- 24:38In which case, check out my Hustle to Harmony Masterclass because I'd show you exactly how I rewired my nervous system to even be able to attract my husband and uh, keep him because.
- 24:49The everything that I told you in this video.
- 24:50Now, I wasn't always like that.
- 24:51I was a mess with relationships.
- 24:53This was after understanding nervous system regulation and polarity and the dynamics and how that all that stuff works.
- 25:00So you can check out all the masterclasses and all the resources in the first comment.
- 25:04So thank you so much for giving me your time today.
- 25:07Um, let me know what requests you have in the comments.
- 25:10I'll make sure to do a video about it.
- 25:12I will see you in the master classes and I'll catch you on the next one.