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Inside A Narcissist's Mind During The Silent Treatment · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful folks, beautiful
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  people. Today we're going to be talking
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  about the mind of a narcissist during the silent treatment,
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  when they're giving you the silent treatment, when they're
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  not talking to you, not communicating with you at all.
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  If you do hear, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
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  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes.
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  The mind of a narcissist and the lips, the lips of a narcissist
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  when they're giving you the silent treatment.
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  What goes on inside the mind of a narcissistic person?
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  Well, if you don't know what the silent treatment is, it's with
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  narcissistic people. Literally.
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  Yeah, Yeah. It's it's in the difference.
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  It's in it, right? It's in it like it's when
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  narcissistic people or whoever just stops talking to you.
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  They disconnect from you. They are done with you, they are
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  finished with you. They just cannot stand the
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  thought of just communicate with you or just opening their mouth
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  and you hearing the words come out of their mouth.
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  Like there's complete silence in the house.
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  If you live with them, if you work with them, if you are long
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  distance with them. This silent treatment is a form
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  of punishment that narcissistic people use, right?
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  It's a form of punishment, but it's also can be a form of
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  avoiding accountability. To me as a narcissist myself,
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  it's a form of rage too, right? I feel like the silent treatment
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  to narcissist is narcissistic rage personified, right?
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  It's just like a different way to rage out on you.
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  It's a different way to be angry at you.
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  It's a different way to hold you, yes, you accountable for
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  whatever has happened in the relationship space.
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  So as you're dealing with a narcissist or toxic person or
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  whoever, right? This is some of the things that
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  you have to consider. This is some of the things that
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  you're going to have to face when you're dealing with this
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  type of person is that some of them will just cease
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  communication. Some of them will cease.
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  Y'all here we cease, cease and desist the communication.
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  They don't want to talk to you and right in the mind of a
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  narcissist. And now this is what you're here
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  for, right? So in the mind of a narcissist,
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  when they're giving you the silent treatment, they are
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  thinking a lot like the mind isn't silent.
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  I can promise you that the mind of a narcissist is not silent
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  when they're giving you the silent treatment.
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  You see what I'm saying? It's like they are act.
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  The mind is active as hell. The mind is just wandering
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  around, bouncing around everywhere, bouncing off the
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  walls, bounce, you know it. It's just the mind is
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  everywhere. My mind is not silent.
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  Even though my look, my lips, my lips are zipped.
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  My mind is not silent. I, I can promise you that I'm
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  thinking of all the things that I would say I want to say to you
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  or that I would say to you or that I might say to you.
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  All the words that I would say to you are going through my
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  mind. I I can promise you that right
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  every single thing is going through my mind right here in
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  these moments, whatever, like I said, whenever, because y'all
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  know the silence remit can last a long, long time right.
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  So there's no, there's no limit on the silence remit.
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  There's no like Lee. When are they going to?
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  When are they going to talk to me again?
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  I wish I could tell you, you know, but like I said, the mind,
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  like the lips are zipped, but the mind, it's not silent.
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  I can promise you that. Like everything, like in my
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  mind, in the mind of a narcissist, they're thinking of
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  all the things that they could say to you or that they would
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  say to you. And it is really, it really kind
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  of depends on the reason why they're being silent, right, Of
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  what's going through their minds.
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  It really depends on the reason, because there could be a lot of
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  different reasons that they go silent on you.
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  You know what I mean? There could literally be a lot
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  of different reasons that they go solid on you.
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  And one of the main reasons is just because they're angry at
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  you. They, they seriously, they could
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  seriously just be angry at you and pissed off to the point
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  where they are just what they don't, Yeah, they're mad at you
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  for whatever reason. And the crazy thing about it is
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  they could be angry at you. They could be angry at you,
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  pissed off at you for holding them accountable.
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  Imagine somebody being mad at you because you held or holding
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  them accountable. You bought up something wrong,
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  right? That they have done.
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  You bought up some type of mistreatment that they've put
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  you through. You know, you're, you're like I
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  said, you've bought it up. You're angry, you're pissed off.
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  And they in their, in their minds, they're pissed off.
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  They're angry at you for how dare you.
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  How dare you bring this to my feet.
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  How dare you bring this up to me?
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  Yes, I know I did it. Yes, I'm guilty.
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  Yes, I know what I have done and what I have said.
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  I understand. I I did it all.
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  I did it all. But that doesn't mean you get to
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  hold me accountable for what I've done.
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  How dare you. How dare you.
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  So the mind of a narcissist when they're angry at you doing a
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  silent treatment is that they're, they, they're probably
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  thinking of ways that it can hurt you.
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  Y'all, let's be real, in the the mind of a narcissist, when
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  they're angry at you doing the silent treatment, when they're
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  angry at you, they're probably thinking of ways that they can
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  like hurt you or harm you or get you back.
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  Ways that they could, ways that they can repay this to this
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  horrible treatment that you put them through, what you've done
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  to them. They're like when they're angry
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  at you, when they're doing a silence treatment, which is
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  going to be most of the times, y'all, they're not, they're
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  never going to be happy and give it a silence treatment, right?
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  So most of the time they're going to be angry.
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  So they're thinking of ways that they can do you harm.
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  They're thinking of ways that they can pay you back.
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  They're thinking of ways that they can somehow, some way,
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  shape or form match your energy, right?
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  They want to match your energy and it's not.
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  It's just a crux of right there, You're out.
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  There's a lot of things that are going through my mind when I'm
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  giving a side of treat. I'm going to tell you a few
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  things that have gone through my mind.
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  When I'll give a side of treaty out.
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  One of the main things is that what I'm doing, a side of
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  treatment, is that I am like, you don't deserve my words.
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  I'm so angry, I'm so pissed off. I'm just so disconnected from
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  you that you do not deserve my words.
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  You don't. I feel like you, this is your
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  because you, especially if you're a talker, especially if
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  you, your, your love language is communication.
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  Whatever love language is, right.
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  If your love language is just words of affirmation, you ain't
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  getting you. You not getting no word.
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  You're not getting no affirmation.
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  You're not getting nothing. I'm busy.
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  I might. You're not getting nothing, you
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  not going to get anything so you don't deserve my words.
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  I want to make your life harder. That narcissist or toxic person
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  wants to make your life harder through this lack of
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  communication, through communicating with you less.
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  They want to make your life harder.
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  I know that pisses y'all off. Y'all like what the lately?
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  What the heck? Like they want to make my life
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  harder for what? What did I do to deserve this?
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  Like I didn't do anything to deserve this.
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  And yet I'm getting punished because they want to make my
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  life harder because it's so because they're angry at me.
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  So everybody gets the brunt of it.
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  Everybody gets that. Everybody gets this this stuff
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  taken out on them. That's best BS.
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  Yes, Yeah, I know it's BS. I know.
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  Right as they diagnosed nurses. I know it's BS, but they don't.
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  Yeah, even like in the mind of a narcissist, even if they get
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  angry at you and even if they know that the reason that
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  they're giving you the solid treatment is stupid, their pride
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  and ego won't let them talk. Yeah, sometimes.
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  Even if they want to talk to you and even in their minds like
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  this is stupid, let me talk to my partner.
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  Even if they want to talk to you, there's the narcissistic
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  part of them that just shuts it down.
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  I know, I know people will say, well, leave.
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  That's the that ain't the narcissistic part, leave.
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  That's the devil. The devil part of them is the
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  part that don't want them to talk.
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  So you got that wrong. Leave.
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  You can say it. You can say it.
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  It's a demon. You can say it's a demon.
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  We believe you leave. You just tell us it's a demon.
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  We'll just respect you more. You will respect me more for
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  saying it's a demon. Come on now.
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  No, but even in in their minds when they're give you the silent
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  treatment, they will absolutely get pissed off.
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  Like I said. And like I said, the
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  narcissistic part of them gets angry still and just activates
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  again. It won't let, it won't let it
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  won't let them let go of the anger.
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  I'll say it like that. It just will not let them just
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  release the anger. Just release the hatred or
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  whatever they're feeling for you.
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  It won't let them let it go. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist or a types of person or whatever, and you understand
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  it, you understand this, you get it.
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  Like even if they want to talk to you, in my mind, in the mind
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  of a narcissist, even if they want to talk to you, the
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  narcissistic part of them shuts it off, says hell now, Nope.
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  So I'll be wanting to talk to you, but I just like my ego, my
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  pride. Just like, don't talk to them.
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  They don't deserve your words. Do not speak to them, even if I
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  want to say something to you, even if it's yeah, even if it's
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  necessary, even if it's something that we need to talk
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  about. Let's be real.
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  Even if it's something that we, even if it's something that we
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  need to discuss, something that needs to be discussed, the
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  narcissistic part will not let us discuss it.
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  And I know that sounds asinine. I know that sounds stupid, but
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  that's really is the truth. The narcissistic part will not
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  let them activate and talk to you.
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  It just it, it just won't. It's just like the narcissistic
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  part shuts down completely and, and just even even if it's
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  something that we need to talk about, even if it's something
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  that is absolutely necessary, the narcissistic part will not
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  let them kick in. It will not kick in.
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  It will not just like we, well, I need to tell, tell them the,
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  the time they pick up the kids. The narcissistic part is like,
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  Nope, let them handle it on their own.
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  Ain't they messed up? Isn't it?
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  Isn't it a horrible day to even have to deal with even it?
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  Because like, you have to deal with it, right?
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  You're the survivor, You're the thriver.
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  You have to deal with this toxic narcissistic person.
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  I know that pisses you off because you're just trying to
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  heal and trying to grow and whatnot.
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  But they, you know, at the end of the day, narcissists care
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  about themselves more than they care about anybody else.
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  And their feelings matter. Their feelings matter to them
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  more than it matters to anybody else.
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  So it's just like, hey, I don't care how embarrassed I'm going
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  to look by give you the silent treatment.
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  I'm going to do it anyway. I don't care how much if it,
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  even if it's self sabotages my life, I'm going to give you the
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  I'm going to give you the silent treatment anyway.
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  I'm going to be silent regardless.
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  I'm going to refuse to talk to you regardless because of how
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  things are going to go, you know?
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  Yeah, this is just not an inside the household thing.
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  Not only will they give you the silent treatment in the house,
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  it goes, yo, the silent treatment goes outside the house
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  as well. I know, I know.
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  Yeah, I know. It sounds crazy, but seriously,
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  the silent treatment will absolutely go Like the silent
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  treatment goes on outside the house too.
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  It just does. This is one of those things that
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  happens. Like the silent treatment
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  seriously goes on outside the house as well when you're
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  dealing with narcissistic people, when you're dealing with
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  toxic people. Like they will absolutely keep
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  doing the same things over and over and over again.
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  Like outside the house. They refuse to talk to you
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  outside the house in a group meeting, at a party, at a
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  Christmas, at Thanksgiving, at Christmas.
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  Yeah, imagine open Christmas and your partner give you the silent
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  treatment. I know some of y'all don't have
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  to imagine that. Imagine.
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  Imagine sitting there at Christmas, open the presents,
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  the kids open the presents and your partner talking to
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  everybody, but you just ignore you and like you don't exist.
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  They might even give you your gift.
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  Yeah, they'll give you your gift to open and won't, won't even
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  look at you. I want to talk to you.
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  They'll look at you directly in the face and I haven't talked to
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  you. If mommy's going to open her
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  gift now, y'all say say Merry Christmas to Mommy.
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  Hey y'all, y'all sorry as Daddy's going to open his gift
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  right now. Say Merry Christmas to Daddy.
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  And not even say it, look, not even say a word to you, not even
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  say nothing to you. Like I'm telling you it's, it's,
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  it's hard. Once the narcissist, once the
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  narcissist gets activated, it's very difficult to turn it off,
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  right? Once they get activated, it's
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  very difficult to flip that switch back on.
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  I mean to turn it off and like, sometimes, like when the, when
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  the narcissist, like when the narcissistic part finally
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  subsides and we want to talk again, the shame might keep us.
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  The shame might extend the silent treatment because the now
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  the the narcissistic part has taken a back seat in our minds
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  and we we want to talk to you again.
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  Sometimes it's been so long and we're so embarrassed that the
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  shame takes over now and doesn't let us talk.
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  The shame kicks in and just like hell no, you ain't well, you,
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  you thinking about the talk right now?
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  Hell no, hell no. You know, through the shame
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  kicks in and doesn't let the narcissist talk now.
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  And so it's just like that could extend it even longer.
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  The shame can kick in and extend the silent treatment even even
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  longer for you, you know. But then sometimes in the mind
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  of a narcissist, they've had enough and sometimes they'll
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  pretend like nothing happened. You know, they'll wake up one
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  day and just pretend like y'all have been talking the whole
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  time. Like y'all have been just
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  talking, interacting the whole time like nothing has happened.
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  Like they haven't been give you the silent treatment for a
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  month, right? Like they have like, like
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  they've been talking to you all day every day, like they haven't
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  just disconnected communication with you for an entire month.
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  I know it sounds crazy, but this is how it goes though, y'all.
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  It really is the mentality of narcissistic people doing a
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  silent treatment. And then you'll if you can't
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  look, you can't bring up the silent treatment after the
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  silent treatment is over with. Because in the mind of a
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  narcissist now you might read, you might restart another silent
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  treatment cycle. OK, I see I can't I see you
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  can't be an adult and talk to me about this.
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  So good night ANYWAYS, y'all. Thank you for tuning in to
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  another episode. Hit the subscribe button if you
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  button and we'll chat later. Peace.
• 14:54
  What's going on beautiful folks. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
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  at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much.
• 15:15
  Make sure you stick around, watch another video or two.
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  I appreciate it. I'm up.