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Light In The Dark: The Only Map You Had · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

• 0:00
  Hey, it's Sarah again. I'm really glad that you decided
• 0:04
  to come back and sit with me. I'm not sure what's going on for
• 0:08
  you today. What feels heavy, what feels
• 0:11
  overwhelming. But either way, no matter what
• 0:14
  it is, just sit with me and let my voice be that light in the
• 0:17
  dark, illuminating just a little bit ahead, so maybe you feel a
• 0:21
  little bit less alone. And as always, I'm not here to
• 0:24
  fix anything. I just want to sit with you for
• 0:27
  a few minutes, wherever you are right now, whatever you're
• 0:30
  carrying. And I want to tell you something
• 0:34
  that I wish someone had told me when I started diving into
• 0:37
  myself to really understand who I was, who I am.
• 0:43
  And it's that the choices that cost you the most, the ones that
• 0:47
  you're still holding onto, the ones that start surfacing at
• 0:50
  9:00 PM on a Tuesday when things start going quiet and your brain
• 0:54
  won't shut down, those choices weren't made from weakness.
• 1:00
  They were made from the only map that you had.
• 1:03
  And here's what I mean by that. You were handed a map early,
• 1:08
  like way before you had language for it and before you could look
• 1:12
  at it critically, and before you could even decide whether it was
• 1:15
  accurate. You were handed it by the people
• 1:18
  who raised you, and they were handed theirs by the people who
• 1:22
  raised them. And that map had things written
• 1:25
  on it. Things about what love is
• 1:27
  supposed to look like. Things about what you have to do
• 1:31
  to earn your place in a room, or about which feelings are safe to
• 1:35
  feel out loud and which ones you better keep quiet if you want to
• 1:39
  stay connected. And you navigated by that map.
• 1:44
  You've used it because it was the only one you had, and not
• 1:48
  because you weren't smart enough, and not because you
• 1:50
  weren't paying attention. Because that's what we do.
• 1:54
  We moved through the world with the maps that we are given.
• 1:58
  And I really wish someone had pointed that out to me a very
• 2:01
  long time ago and that's why I'm sharing it right now.
• 2:05
  So the choices that you made in any past relationship or current
• 2:12
  in the chapter, that maybe ended the way that it ended.
• 2:16
  You made those choices with the information you were carrying at
• 2:20
  the time. And that's not an excuse.
• 2:21
  That's just truth. And the version of you that was
• 2:25
  in that dynamic was doing everything that they could with
• 2:29
  a map that had whole territories missing from it.
• 2:34
  And here's what I really want you to hear right now.
• 2:38
  You know more now, not because you're smarter, not because you
• 2:42
  finally got yourself together, but maybe you did, because you
• 2:46
  did the work and you looked at the map and you started to see
• 2:51
  where it was wrong. And you keep showing up here
• 2:56
  every time for yourself. That is everything.
• 3:02
  That is the whole thing. And the moment that you realize
• 3:07
  the map was wrong is the moment that you can start drawing a new
• 3:11
  one. And you're already doing that,
• 3:14
  or you wouldn't be here lying in the dark asking yourself why?
• 3:19
  So if that's where you are tonight, still asking, why did I
• 3:23
  stay? Why did I choose that?
• 3:25
  Why didn't I see it sooner? I want you to hear this.
• 3:29
  You didn't know what you didn't know, and now you do.
• 3:33
  And that, my friends, that is enough to start from.
• 3:38
  So I'm going to leave the Lantern right here next to you.
• 3:41
  You were doing the best you could with the map you were
• 3:44
  given. That's not weakness.
• 3:47
  That's just being human and now you have more of the map than
• 3:51
  you did before and that's pretty amazing.
• 3:55
  So try to rest tonight and leave this Lantern on beside you for
• 4:00
  as long as you need. It's not going to go anywhere
• 4:02
  and it certainly isn't going to burn out.
• 4:05
  And I will be back in a couple of days for more.