Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / Am I wrong for inviting my sister to a kids free vacation even if she has kids?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Wake Up with them playing Hey, Wake Up and the Club.
- 0:04Speaker 2: On nine four seven, Tea Bag sends us a message.
- 0:09Speaker 2: My friends and I spend six months planning and paying
- 0:12Speaker 2: for a kid free trip to Zanzibar. My sister initially
- 0:16Speaker 2: declined because she couldn't afford to go, but a week
- 0:19Speaker 2: before the trip she has now said she she is
- 0:21Speaker 2: able to come, but she would like to bring her
- 0:24Speaker 2: two kids because she cannot find a babysitter. I said no,
- 0:27Speaker 2: as the troop in activities were planned specifically for adults.
- 0:31Speaker 2: Now she's accusing me of hating her children and choosing
- 0:34Speaker 2: friends over family, and my mom is also pressurizing me
- 0:38Speaker 2: to let her bring them. Oh you'll pull them, mom in.
- 0:41Speaker 2: I still feel she's welcome to join us. We just
- 0:43Speaker 2: are strict about no kids. What do we do? Oh,
- 0:49Speaker 2: this is a tricky one.
- 0:50Speaker 1: Hey, no, it's not. Are you you.
- 0:53Speaker 2: There's nothing tricky about this.
- 0:54Speaker 1: No, but I feel it is because it's his sister.
- 0:57Speaker 1: So it's oh, her sister, a niece and nephews.
- 1:02Speaker 2: Right, they were originally not invited. Nothing has changed the
- 1:09Speaker 2: conditions of the troop were six of us are going
- 1:12Speaker 2: to zanzy Bar.
- 1:13Speaker 1: No kids are allowed.
- 1:14Speaker 2: You couldn't come because initially you couldn't afford to come.
- 1:17Speaker 2: Sad is saddle set settles tears for everyone. You can't
- 1:21Speaker 2: come a week before we are leaving. We are out
- 1:23Speaker 2: here chasing summer. We're leaving a call Toohannesburg to go
- 1:26Speaker 2: to Zanzy Bar. A week before you say, oh, I
- 1:29Speaker 2: can actually come. Wow, hey Prestol. Now we're happy that
- 1:32Speaker 2: you can come, right, but you now can't bring your
- 1:36Speaker 2: new conditions to a troop that has been cemented six
- 1:40Speaker 2: months ago. And six months ago we said, no, kids,
- 1:43Speaker 2: nothing's changed. And for you to pull mom in, oh
- 1:46Speaker 2: you went and told.
- 1:47Speaker 3: Mom, how do we know how all the kids are?
- 1:49Speaker 3: We don't know, because that would be that would be
- 1:51Speaker 3: my caveat.
- 1:53Speaker 4: So like if they were teenagers, if.
- 1:55Speaker 3: They were like nine and tens, fine bring them because
- 1:59Speaker 3: I mean, as an on the trip, right, why does
- 2:02Speaker 3: what is the adulting part of the trip? Really it's
- 2:05Speaker 3: just us having a good time.
- 2:06Speaker 2: Yeah, they want a wild out without having kids around.
- 2:08Speaker 3: So if the kids are old enough to sort of
- 2:11Speaker 3: look after themselves that we're going to resort to whatever
- 2:13Speaker 3: the case is, then that's fine.
- 2:14Speaker 1: But if they're small, small, that is tough.
- 2:17Speaker 2: Because there's certain activities that we have planned, like let's
- 2:20Speaker 2: say now we want to go jet skiing, smokeling, chasing turtles, whatever,
- 2:24Speaker 2: And there's age restrictions and there's small kids and certain
- 2:27Speaker 2: height and it's weight and all of that. They just
- 2:29Speaker 2: don't want the admins. It's their holiday, gus. Do you
- 2:31Speaker 2: know how hard people work for their holidays. People are
- 2:34Speaker 2: sacrificing like food and luxuries just so you can have
- 2:38Speaker 2: a week of a holiday that you are spending on yourself.
- 2:42Speaker 3: I think she's thankful that her sister wasn't coming. I
- 2:44Speaker 3: think that's how this started.
- 2:47Speaker 4: Armatanella. If it was a no kids holiday from the
- 2:50Speaker 4: start and I can't find a babysitter, sorry, guys, we're out, yes,
- 2:54Speaker 4: But at the same time, if it was if it were,
- 2:58Speaker 4: if they're over sixteen and it's okay, then it's a
- 3:00Speaker 4: bit of a different story because the yachting.
- 3:02Speaker 1: And you can look after themselves. I can join.
- 3:04Speaker 4: It was it's a no kids holiday, it was probably
- 3:07Speaker 4: one of the rules that were stated right up front.
- 3:09Speaker 1: You deal with me, you pull yourself out.
- 3:10Speaker 4: Of the trip you got guys, Sorry, we can't find
- 3:13Speaker 4: anybody to look guys. Parents takes parents again, sometimes you
- 3:16Speaker 4: miss out on things.
- 3:16Speaker 2: Because she got angry, saying, I'm family, but I'm not
- 3:19Speaker 2: being supportive. I explained, we booked boat rides, clubs, restaurants,
- 3:23Speaker 2: activities specific for just adults. Now she's saying, I hate
- 3:26Speaker 2: your children. I'm choosing strangers over family.
- 3:29Speaker 1: That's dramatic.
- 3:30Speaker 3: That's very dramatic, but to the point, and that's how
- 3:32Speaker 3: I feel. You come with on the trip, but then
- 3:34Speaker 3: when we're doing activities, the kids can't join us, and
- 3:36Speaker 3: you must stay behind and look after your kids.
- 3:38Speaker 2: I think the system must catch the next trip, me too,
- 3:41Speaker 2: already already. Now you are coming with a cloud, and
- 3:45Speaker 2: we are going to an island here.
- 3:46Speaker 1: There's no clouds there, but these are I mean, children
- 3:49Speaker 1: are a blessing.
- 3:50Speaker 2: Yes, but they can be a blessing at home. Then
- 3:53Speaker 2: fours there still can be a blessing in Brackman.
- 3:57Speaker 4: She can catch the next one, she can catch the
- 3:59Speaker 4: next time. That was the tnc of the trip to start.
- 4:02Speaker 3: I think, if it's not going to be massively disruptive,
- 4:05Speaker 3: it is going.
- 4:05Speaker 1: To be messive. But how do you know?
- 4:07Speaker 2: Because they're kids?
- 4:09Speaker 4: Okay, because jokes aside, you have to watch your p's
- 4:12Speaker 4: and ques when kids are around, like, it doesn't allow
- 4:15Speaker 4: you that extra layer of adult freedom where you can
- 4:18Speaker 4: talk about stuff that now you've got.
- 4:19Speaker 1: Oh gosh, there's a kid. There's a kid. There's a kid.
- 4:22Speaker 2: Now you guys want to get you know, drink mimosas
- 4:25Speaker 2: at eight in the morning and talk about your lost
- 4:27Speaker 2: relationship and why it failed. Do you know what I'm saying?
- 4:29Speaker 2: But now I have to be mindful that some of
- 4:31Speaker 2: these kids are here.
- 4:32Speaker 3: Uh you know what I'm saying, Well, I do. Yeah, Look,
- 4:35Speaker 3: I think I think it is possible for that. I mean,
- 4:37Speaker 3: I don't have enough information to really make a call. Yeah,
- 4:39Speaker 3: how many people are on the trip? Do we know
- 4:41Speaker 3: how old the kids are? These are things, But I
- 4:43Speaker 3: do feel like sometimes a trip can pivot, Right, if
- 4:46Speaker 3: we really want sister there with the kids, and she's
- 4:48Speaker 3: coming with the kids, we can pivot the trip a
- 4:50Speaker 3: little bit.
- 4:51Speaker 1: Everyone could still have.
- 4:51Speaker 3: The fun they want to have, still have the gas
- 4:53Speaker 3: they want to gass.
- 4:54Speaker 4: I'll also say the sister's not being realistic and that
- 4:57Speaker 4: she won't have actually the best time she would have
- 4:59Speaker 4: had because he's got to be mindful of her children
- 5:01Speaker 4: the whole.
- 5:01Speaker 1: Time, which but I mean she's with it, even if
- 5:04Speaker 1: she stays at home. She's going with her child children. Yes,
- 5:06Speaker 1: so she's.
- 5:06Speaker 2: Gonna go to them there, Oh one one eight thirty
- 5:10Speaker 2: eight ninety four seven. Who's being unreasonable here? Zero eighty
- 5:14Speaker 2: four double zero double zero nine four seven. Has this
- 5:16Speaker 2: happened to you before where somebody comes into your guy's
- 5:19Speaker 2: plans at the last minute and wants you guys to
- 5:22Speaker 2: change the structure and the DNA of your plans purely
- 5:26Speaker 2: because they want you guys to bend over backwards for them.
- 5:30Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe they decided that bringing the kids and it
- 5:32Speaker 3: was never discussed.
- 5:33Speaker 1: But now we kids are coming with.
- 5:35Speaker 2: It's even now we're going away, we say no partners
- 5:38Speaker 2: at the airport here, who's that? Oh it's Jared, He's
- 5:40Speaker 2: coming with. She must stay behind, Like what is this?
- 5:45Speaker 2: What's the drama? And if the mom is gonna catch
- 5:47Speaker 2: feelings learning she must stay with the kids.
- 5:49Speaker 5: Then I think mom should babysit the kids and then
- 5:52Speaker 5: the sisters go to the trip. I absolutely agree with
- 5:56Speaker 5: an Eli it's assignment as a child free wedding. I'm
- 5:58Speaker 5: planning my own weddings for October. We made the conscious decision.
- 6:02Speaker 5: She not has kids at the wedding, and now i'm
- 6:06Speaker 5: my future sister in more, she's having issues with it
- 6:08Speaker 5: and all of that, and guys, we're doing it for
- 6:11Speaker 5: a reason.
- 6:12Speaker 2: The sister can catch the next trip honesty, or she
- 6:15Speaker 2: can tend her own trip with kids.
- 6:17Speaker 5: But this one, Jesus is no kids.
- 6:20Speaker 2: And also there's six people going, and those six people
- 6:23Speaker 2: decided no kids, and you, as the seventh one, want
- 6:26Speaker 2: to bring kids. So now six people must must be
- 6:29Speaker 2: slighted so that you can be happy.
- 6:32Speaker 1: Well, I mean, like I say, it depends on how
- 6:34Speaker 1: close we are. Right.
- 6:35Speaker 3: If we're very close knit friends and family group and
- 6:37Speaker 3: the two kids are coming worse, we can pivot, you know.
- 6:41Speaker 3: I think if it's such a hand, you can't you
- 6:43Speaker 3: like to stay home.
- 6:44Speaker 1: It's not fair.
- 6:45Speaker 2: I'm going to go back to how how much people
- 6:49Speaker 2: sacrifice to go on holiday. People aren't just going on holidays.
- 6:52Speaker 2: People can't just a.
- 6:53Speaker 1: Fall to be on holiday. Yes, and this is a
- 6:55Speaker 1: nice trip to Zanzibarra.
- 6:56Speaker 2: And also I can hear people saying, yeah, maybe on
- 6:59Speaker 2: the next one will be no kids. No, on the
- 7:01Speaker 2: next one, we can have kids. This one here, the
- 7:03Speaker 2: one that I have saved for for six months. I
- 7:06Speaker 2: want what I want and there's no kids solo Good morning,
- 7:11Speaker 2: And I learned the club morning toll from Florida. What
- 7:13Speaker 2: do you think, guys, it's a grand mother's going to
- 7:17Speaker 2: involve herself. Why can't she stay home with the kids.
- 7:20Speaker 2: Maybe if the grandmother lives in another country or another
- 7:23Speaker 2: town or another city, so it's going to be a
- 7:25Speaker 2: slip to have the kids go to her and then
- 7:28Speaker 2: you know back, I think not many of us as
- 7:31Speaker 2: fortunate to have our moms just living down the road.
- 7:35Speaker 2: Or maybe I live in Pretoria and my mother lives
- 7:37Speaker 2: in Sashanguve, you know, and I have the same situation
- 7:40Speaker 2: and my family doesn't live close by. But if you're
- 7:43Speaker 2: willing to travel with those kids to Zanzibar, all kids
- 7:47Speaker 2: must go to grandma.
- 7:48Speaker 1: Okay, I hear what you're saying.
- 7:49Speaker 2: If there's enough money for them to get on a
- 7:51Speaker 2: flight and accommodation to Zanzibar, you've got enough money to
- 7:54Speaker 2: send them off to grandma.
- 7:55Speaker 5: Okay.
- 7:56Speaker 3: I can't actually fault that, right, I can't fault that.
- 7:59Speaker 3: If you've got cash to bring them with on the trip.
- 8:02Speaker 3: The only thing I can think of, maybe Grandma can't
- 8:05Speaker 3: look after them, right, maybe, but you can mouth wolf see,
- 8:13Speaker 3: well you see what I deal with you? Yeah, but
- 8:16Speaker 3: I can't. I can't fault logic here. Then go and
- 8:18Speaker 3: live with Grandma. And if you're big enough to look
- 8:20Speaker 3: after yourself on a trip to Zanzibar, you're big enough
- 8:22Speaker 3: to look after yourself for Grandma.
- 8:24Speaker 1: Exactly exactly you've swiped me.
- 8:27Speaker 2: Come on over to our side, folks, Come on over
- 8:29Speaker 2: to our sides, say voice notes zero eight to four
- 8:32Speaker 2: double zero double zero nine four seven. Has this ever
- 8:35Speaker 2: happened to you? Are you currently in the situation where
- 8:37Speaker 2: you say no kids and someone one hyena is going to.
- 8:41Speaker 1: Insist, but I want to bring the kids with.
- 8:43Speaker 2: But but sister could always afford the trip.
- 8:47Speaker 1: How do you all of.
- 8:49Speaker 5: A sudden afford to go on the trip and still
- 8:52Speaker 5: bring the kids along?
- 8:53Speaker 2: No, no kids, no kids?
- 8:55Speaker 5: Like, what are you doing bringing the kids?
- 8:57Speaker 1: And irrespective of the age.
- 9:00Speaker 2: I don't put my opinion in because I don't have
- 9:03Speaker 2: a child, And people will always say, oh, you don't understand.
- 9:06Speaker 2: You know, it's back to making your mourning and the
- 9:11Speaker 2: club on nine four seven