Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Men Reveal (Anonymously) What They Hate About Their Wives

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Men Reveal (Anonymously) What They Hate About Their Wives · I Do, Part 2

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey that folks. It is Saturday, May twentieth, and I
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: often start by saying, hey, folks, but this time I'm
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: just gonna say, hey, ladies, got a question for you
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: out there. What would you think about this? Your man
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: has something about you that he absolutely hates, but he
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: loves you too much to actually tell you. Do you
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: still want to know? And with that, welcome to this
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: episode of Amy and TJ. Because now robes, maybe some
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: women will start to hear things because you've given men
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to say what they hate about their wives
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: under the cloak of anonymity.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, I like to hear what other men say about
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: their wives, but I don't know that we any of
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: us want to hear what you have to say about us.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: And by the way, it's May thirtieth. I just wanted
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: to point out you said May twentieth. I didn't want
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: to correct you.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: That's something I hate maybe thirty. You know what, okay
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: twenty You know what, folks, every single time we do one,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: and this will list you know this is we always
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: do these day out We're not we don't tape things
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: ahead of time, so we do these in real time. Yeah,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: every single time we record one of these. My biggest
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: issue of every episode rodes what's the date?
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's your only issue. You are good
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: to go. You've read in, you do all the research.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: You are a hard worker, and you are prepared when
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: you sit down and do whatever subject we're doing, you
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: know what's happening, what's going on. But you always struggle
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: with the date. And so I was chuckling when you said, Hey, there, everybody,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: it's Saturday, May twentieth.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: It's it's the thirty day. And I was debating and
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: just starting it over because I don't want people to
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: be thrown off. They might hear May twenty at at
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: the top and they go, ah, this is an old
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: one and move on. So I was kind of concerned
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: and wanted to start over. As I'm still talking to you,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I'm debating about whether or not we should because just
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I don't want people to be thrown not the matter
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: of a mistake, but is that going to hurt downloads
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: of people say it's an old one? Seriously, I don't know.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I think it's an interesting topic. No matter what. We
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: can make a little joke and when people look at
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: the description, we'll say and by the way, don't be
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: thrown TJ makes a mistake.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: This happens every time, folks. So what we sit here
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: and do? There's a big There was an audio board
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: next to me with six seven, eight eight panels that
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I sold all the music you hear, you're doing it
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: on audio. I'm doing it all and right before we start.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Every single time before I start talking, I panic because
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I start looking at four different devices. Shit, where's the date? Yes,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: every single time.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Your mind is firing on twelve cylinders. And by the way,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just sitting here chilling. So I'm just you know,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I'm watching you, and I just yes, wanted people to
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: know it is in fact me thirty.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So with all that, we talk about what wives hate
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: about their husbands. I hate what men hate about their wives.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I hate when I get corrected.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm kidding.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I I'm kidding. But this is something you were interested in,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: and I don't know. Actually the results you looked at
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: this tell where it came from and why this was
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: such an interest to you.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: That's okay. So BuzzFeed is always fun. So they their
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: big headline is married men are spilling things they hate
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: about their wives but would never tell them and OMG.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: And then it shows that they actually got the idea
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: for this because they saw a Reddit post or a
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: thread that said, what is a harsh truth about marriage?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: That you love your wife too much to ever say
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: out loud to her? And the men just started spilling.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: I'm curious, is there something that you hate about me
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: that you will take to your grave hate?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: That's tough, one, baby, That's a tough today if you
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: hate so. I know it's a strong word, and maybe
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: it's not. I have no idea what these end up being,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: but roh, it's tough to feel so strongly about your mate,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: any part of them, so strongly that I'm just going
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: to deal with it. I don't know. I'm so I'm
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: actually really really curious.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Well, you can just I feel like I would love
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: to know if you and I think some of these
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I am guessing you probably feel to a degree. So
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go through. There are twenty one. I'm
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: going to pick basically the ten that stand out to
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: me that I think are the most interesting.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I am so sorry. I'm asking because I'm trying to
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: get clarity. There were two different headlines or titles. One
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: is something you hate so much you love it? What
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: was the second?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Basically, it's just that it'd be too cruel to say
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: out loud.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Cruel to say out loud.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: You love her enough that you would never say it
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: out loud. But it's a harsh truth. It's still real.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: It doesn't take away from the existence of this feeling,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: but it's too harsh they believe to say out loud.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: So they're on a Reddit post so that all of
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: us other women can read and say, ooh, do I
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: do that? Do I do that?
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Do you do any of it?
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Probably so, And actually one of them, I'm thinking, okay, okay,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: here's one. Sometimes I feel suffocated by her clinginess and
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: lack of independence.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: No, I could see why that's an issue, depending on
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: what I guess, the where you are, what your status
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: is in that relationship. We actually watch a lot of
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: dating shows, and sometimes somebody has too much power because
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: they have the money, or the other person is on
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: the fiance visa or whatever.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's an imbalance of power. But I
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: think oftentimes, I think all of us can be clingy,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: and then there's some self recognition like, yeah, I need
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: to go figure this out on my I don't, but
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I think some clinky Yeah, I don't think I've ever
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: been accused of that, but you tell me. I'm not sure.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Sometimes people just say they need space. They can go
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: either way. Okay, that's yeah, that'skays.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Her storytelling is equal parts boring, repetitive, and annoying. She
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: starts talking and you can watch people roll their eyes.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Um, no, you need to pull her aside. Well, you
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: know you need to. That's not showing that you love her,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: that's showing how little you love her. If you cared
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: about that person, always say her. It could be a
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: man or a woman that they're actually you see them
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: doing things around other people or in public that are
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: actually not really a good look for them. You put
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: them to the side.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: O it to her to tell her you get so
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: funny enough. This guy admitted she's now his ex wife,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: So you're right he didn't love her enough to tell.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Her he actually didn't like her.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, and that is a sign right there. All right,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: here's another one. I want to tell her. For the
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: love of everything on Holy stop attributing intentional maliciousness automatically
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: when it's most likely stupidity or lack of awareness or
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: anything outside their narrow vision, always looking for an enemy.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: That was very, very specific. Say that one again.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I want to tell her, for the love of everything
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: on Holy stop attributing intentional maliciousness automatically when it's most
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: likely stupidity or lack of awareness.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, that is annoying. I think it's a tendency a
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: lot of people.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Have, right, enemy, you want to have something you're combating.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Look at what they did to me. How dare they?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, yes, that's just interesting, But that's for anybody. That's
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: a bad attribute.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: This funny Dealing with her was like walking on eggshells
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: every third week until menopause, and then it got worse.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: So he's saying, basically, it was situation as well. It
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: said marriage was exhausting. They didn't go beyond it. But
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: the point being is every time she was on her
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: period and then when she got menopause, it was too much.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Wait a minute, he didn't want to tell it to
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: her face, but.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Total what baby, Hey baby, this is happening. I know
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: you're going through this thing, but man, it is really
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: doing a number on our household. You can say that
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: lovingly and not just get mad because you're annoyed at her.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: There's a way to go back.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, And I actually think you're you know what. This
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: takes me back to journalism one O one, when you're
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: trying to ask people hard questions and it's uncomfortable because
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: you're right in front of them, staring at them. And
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I have always believed you can say anything to anyone
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: as long as you say it with respect.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you shouldn't be scared. Wow, these I wasn't expecting this. This,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: you know what. This doesn't sound like women need to
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: change anything. This sounds like a bunch of guys are scared.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: This is about your relationship. You could this is basic.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: That's so interesting.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Tough robes.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I didn't think about that, but that is interesting. Okay,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: this one, this one's tough. My biggest fear is how
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: much she is like her mother, Well, how much she
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: is like okay, yes, and I don't want to be
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: that my I don't want that to be my life
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: in thirty years. I think that's something that you wouldn't you.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I don't think you can say.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: That because now you're now you're insulting her mama.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Correct. I don't think you can say that. I think
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: that's a tough one you might have to take to
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: your grave.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: But that's also one robes that you shouldn't be worried about.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: She is not her mama. She's not the only thing
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: you can do. And you do it before I get
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: a chance to do it. You go, oh my god,
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I've become my mother.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Yet every every person does that. And then and you
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: see what you like, and you see what you don't like,
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: and you try to make change. You know what you
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: can do correct the or acknowledge the behavior. And you shouldn't.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I believe this. You should never compare someone to their mother,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: to their father, to like to someone who you know
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: that or at least that your loved one knows you
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: don't like, because that's mean you can just address the behavior.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: You don't have to compare it to a mom, because
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: that's when you start getting into dangerous territory.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Bro. That's a It reminds me, you know, I love
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: my stand up comedy. That was a comic once who
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: said the women win most of all, like all fights,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: because they drop these little bombs in your head. And
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: he used this example. A woman at the end of
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: an argument will say something like calmly as anything say
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: you're stupid like your father, and the guy doesn't really
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: get it at the moment, but then he goes in
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: the basement and he festers for a little while, and
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden he explodes. That kind of thing
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: when you address somebody and compare in some way or
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: put down mama and daddy and omparison, that is always
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: going to be a disaster. If you, guys, if you
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: want to make this call about you don't want her
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: to become her mom, take her mom out to a
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: couple of lunches, couple of drinks. If you don't like that, lady,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: break up with your girlfriend because that's who she's going
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: to become.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: That's a good point. Yeah, and I think that is true, Like, yeah,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: recognize and either say that's okay for me or it's not.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: But I do think that's an interesting thing. Okay, this
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: next one. I had to look this up and I
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: asked you if you knew what this was, and you
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: said you didn't. I would never tell her that she's
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: a pillow princess.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that is.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what a pillow princess was. Either someone
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: who prefers to primarily receive pleasure during sex rather than
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: give it.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Ah, Now this is interesting. He doesn't want to tell
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: her she's a pillow princess. She knows, she knows, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: she's totally okay with it. She's been practicing this for
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: quite a while. She's yes, it's her thing. Now, Not
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: to tell her I have any of these relationships? Can continued?
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: No, yes, some of yes, these are supposedly married men.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: There are a couple who were clearly divorced. But yes,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: this next one. I think. At first I was like, oh,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: hell no, you can't say this, and then he explained it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I can't tell her that her family genetics don't seem
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: the best. Okay, that's like whoa. But then he went
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: on to say, no one in her family has lived
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: past seventy. I worry that as we get older, my
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: time with her is going to be limited. Once we retire,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: it's only going to be a few years. I worry
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: that you will pass away and I'll become an angry,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: bitter old man who's just waiting to die to see
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: her again. Oh that's kind of sweet, actually, and selfish.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I hear that totally differently. You're upset with your wife
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: because of genetics, you knew everything about her. Now, I
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: understand that can be a concern. So let's come together
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: and understand. Sweetheart, you know what your family history is.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe we should be eating this, Maybe we should be
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: drinking this. Maybe we shouldn't be doing this, we should
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: be doing that. Well, if there's a way to do this,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: like you're faulting her, I can't talk to you about none.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: She can do about that. I have an awful family
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: history of cancer on my family I am with. I
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: have chosen to be with a woman who every six
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: months has to go get checked for markers to make
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: sure cancer doesn't come back. So what am I supposed
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: to do? I can't talk to you about it. This
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: is real. We have had conversations about cutting back on alcohol.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: This is because of health robes. This is important. If
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: your time is limited with this lady, and you love
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: this lady like you circle it on the calendar seventy
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: she's gonna.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Die, right, That's kind of what he's done. This is
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: so fascinating, though, and I think to your point, I
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: hadn't really thought about it when I was reading through
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: these What you are saying that a lot of this
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: stuff that men are saying they can't tell their wives
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: they actually can and should and if they love them,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: they would.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: This whole goes to what we often talk about robes.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Relationships struggle and are bad because of communication and people
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: don't want to talk to each other. It's the relationship
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: isn't bad because she does this, this or this. The
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: relationship might be struggling because you won't talk to her
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: about it. The relationship might be struggling because there is
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: a difficult thing and you too don't feel like you
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: can talk about it. That is a sign of something else.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Stop it. I really thought this was going to go
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: a different direction, But just what's fascinatingship? One on one
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: and you.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Talk about, yes, lack of communication and when you don't
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: have proper communication and when you don't have trust to
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: communicate what you want to say because it should be
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: based from a place of love, or just that I
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: need you to love me differently, I need to you
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: to love me better. I need to explain to you
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: what I'm missing all of those things. I think if
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: you are in a loving relationship, the other partner, if
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: said correctly, wants to make sure you feel those things
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: and if you feel like you can't have that conversation,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: there is an absolute lack of sum trust, right, And
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: what happens when you don't talk about things, resentment builds.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: When we come back, these next few ones are doozies
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: and man, they spell resentment. But I'm curious if other
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: people think that they can't have these conversations with their
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: loved ones. Wait until you hear what these next few
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: men had to say. And welcome back everyone to this
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: fascinating episode of Amy and TJ where we are hearing
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: from men under the cloak of anonymity, initially from a
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Reddit thread, but then BuzzFeed picked up on it about
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: what men are secretly feeling about their wives or their
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: significant others that they feel like they can't say to
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: their partner's face. And when you start to hear what
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: these men are saying, it's so interesting. How about this one.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: I want to tell her, You'll never understand how much
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: more I've loved you than anyone ever will, because you
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: will never love anyone else more than you love yourself.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: That's what he wants to tell his wife, but is
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: too afraid to.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: He's afraid to tell her. Bottom line, that she behaves
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: selfishly correct, Okay, that's a real conversation to have that.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: The thing you just read is insulting talking to her.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: That's a real issue, baby, And that's okay. That's okay
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: to say, hey, babe, there are times that it seems
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: like all we do is what you want to do.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: You don't pay attention to anything else. It's okay to
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: express how you feel without automatically being critical of that
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: other person. They might take it as criticism. But every
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: relationship we have to encourage speak up.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to say what you need. We aren't
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: women aren't, and certainly men aren't mind readers. And I
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: think maybe we treat one another like you should be.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: You should know what I want, you should know what
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: I need. And that's where you start to have problems.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: This next one one is wild to me that he
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: can't have a conversation. And I'm wondering if you think
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: most men are afraid of their wives, because listen to
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: this next one. I'd never tell her that she goes
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: out of her way for everyone else in our house
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: except me.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: You never tell her that. Well, I would hate for
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: you to say it that way. Yeah, yes, no, wonder
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: you can't tell her, Hey, babe, you go out of
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: your way for everybody here but me. How do you
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: think that's gonna go. If that's a real thing, that
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: you actually feel like you're missing something in a relationship
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: in the household, Robes, open your mouth. Every single one
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: of these sounds like a problem with the man.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: It makes me think that all these men are too afraid,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I'll just say it in a nice way to actually
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: speak up and tell their wives what they want to need,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: and instead probably use a lot of this as an
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: excuse to go out and get something on the side
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: where they feel like the man.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: I won't even go that that far, Robes, But everything
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: the onus is on the woman for making me feel
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: comfortable to open my mouth. Now, there are realities in relationships,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: we get it, and the dynamics are different. But every
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: single one of these is not Robes. It doesn't sound
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I'm afraid, she's gonna watch, she's gonna get upset, she's
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: gonna yell, she's gonna leave me, she's gonna all of
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: this stuff. Every man here has a legitimate complaint, like
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: a legitimate relationship issue, but they're just not going about
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: thinking of bringing it up the right way or thinking
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: they're even worthy robes of a discussion.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you, I will say, you have had conversations
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: with me and say, babe, can we have a moment
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: to talk. And I don't want you to get upset,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: but something has been happening that's been bothering me, and
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, please tell me. And most of the time
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I didn't even know it wasn't even on my radar.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: And so to have these conversations is so helpful. This one,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: this next one through me. Oh, I want to tell her.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: The fact that you want to work out and be
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: a hot mom now after having the baby is incredibly
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: insulting to me because I've been trying to get you
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: to be healthy with me for years. Say what, I.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Hope he takes it we go. I mean, I hope
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: he takes a moment. She wants to better herself and
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: look better, and you have a problem.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: With it because it's the baby, not him. That's so
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: that one actually blew my mind.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, don't. It's it's fair to say that there
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: was probably more work to do, or she felt more
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: work to do after her body just went through nine
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: months of car Okay, and Obviously we don't know what
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: she looked like, or what health was or anything else.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: But the way he framed that is that this was
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: But we talked about rejection robes. Here's a real one.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I will say this. Aha, I have one to add
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: to the list. Okay, And I've talked to you about
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: this before. This can be a thing. It relates to this.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: You will go get your nails done, you will go
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: get your hair done, you will go through all kinds
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: of makeup. I'm gonna go buy a new dress and
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: all these things when it has to do with somebody
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: else or some other event and it doesn't feel like, Wow,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: you don't go through that exercise and put that much
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: effort into looking good around here when it comes to
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: us even a night out. But wow, so and so
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: one is coming to town, or hm, you got a
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: lunch here, or wow, you're going with the girls for
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: a thing and you're really getting dulled up. Now, that
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: is something that I will say. Is is a conversation
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: and something that has been on men's minds. And I've
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: talked to you about this before.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting. Okay, there's a version of that, all right,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: This one, this is so interesting, and again I think
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: this speaks to the relationationship. Okay, the harsh truth is
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: that we aren't best friends. She doesn't care enough about
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: me to be my best friend. She wants me to
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: care about her and everything about her life, but doesn't
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: reciprocate when I do tell her stories. They are too
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: long for her. I go on forever, she says, get
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: to the point. But she will talk for hours and
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: I'm supposed to stay attentive. Yes, I can never open
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: up because I don't trust her to do any good
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: with my words or feelings. She just uses them against
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: me somehow, and not right away, like a stewed missile
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: when she's ready to launch.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: It's that's a legitimate relationship issue, and that could go
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: both ways. That's a legitimate relationship issue issue. She should
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: be willing to talk about it. Now. Some of it
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I wonder, like, Wow, it seems a little a little
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: nitpicky and very specific. But that is a real thing
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: in relationship.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: That might just be a symptom. And it seems like
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: that's a sin of a much larger problem. And it
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: has to do with respect and resentment. Oh, she doesn't
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: have any, and he has a lot of it. Oh yeah,
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: and that's and that's built up over time.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: They're done, if not already.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, this one was interesting. I want
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: to tell her I'm concerned your kindness and gentleness. Uh oh,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: I just got an ad. Sorry, your kindness and gentleness
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: will cause our sons to be undisciplined and create harm.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: That's a parenting issue. We got to talk. Yeah, that's all.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: We have to talk about how we're going about parenting.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: And that's that can evolve people are in the house
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: and have do different ways of going about things. But no,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: it's a that's a legitimate issue about parenting that you
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: have to speak about it.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: I agree, And I'm going to end with this one
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: because I feel like I feel like you and I
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: might actually have experienced this. This is interesting, but it's
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: it's kind of a this is I'm going to end
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: on a positive note because yes, this is a harsh
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: truth or something that he would never say out loud,
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: But this one for me, sometimes I miss her before
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: anything has even gone wrong, Like there are moments when
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I look at her and I feel this quiet fear
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: of loss that I would never say out loud because
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: it would just worry her and there is nothing to
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: be done about it anyway. Loving someone that much is
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: its own kind of vulnerability that nobody really prepares you for.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you've made jokes to me, like you know, you
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: know whatever about our relationship, about like why can't it?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Why can't because you start worrying about it. It's so good,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: You're worrying about it going wrong, and you don't want
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: to express it because that would create fear. But I
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: thought that was sweet. I miss her before anything has
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: even gone wrong, Like he's already preparing to lose her,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: preparing for it to end, or kind of worried about
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: it somehow not working out.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy. Absolutely,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: you put yourself in that mindset. Yes, of course it's
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: going to be a disaster. It's going to go wrong.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: How I understand. I understand you say it's kind of sweet,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: but we all we understand you cannot continue your life
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: in fear. You just that's no way to live. The
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: courage is not just going through it. Courage is actually
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: feeling the fear and doing the thing anyway. So you've
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: got to be courageous in love, and you can't be
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: scared of law ropes. Isn't that a recipe for disasters?
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Fearing loss?
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, But I think if we're all we all have
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: a little a little bit of it in our heads.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: But I think we can just recognize it and say, wow,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: that means I love someone that much. That means I
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: am so vulnerable and yeah, my heart is living outside
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: of me right now, and that's something that's beautiful. You
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: can just acknowledge the feeling and flip it on its
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: head and say, Wow, how lucky am I that I
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: love someone that much?
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Man, it's scared to lose somebody is uh, it's not
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: gonna it's gonna cause you behave in ways that aren't
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: conducive to a successful relationship.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but this was actually really eye opening and surprising
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: to me. And I'm actually surprised it was surprising to
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: you that you weren't like this wasn't something because a
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: lot of these lists other a man will read and go,
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: oh yeah me too, Oh my god, I feel so seen.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling validated. You were kind of like, well, I
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: guess we've lived a lot of life now we have,
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: and yeah.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: That's it. Really, Maybe that's it rose. But everything the
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: fellows bring up there really are once you get to
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: a point, this is like, it's core relationship stuff. And
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: yes it's difficult for some. It's yes, you have to
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: get to that point. So I'm not just saying, oh,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: you idiots, you need to come around. No, but roads
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: all those things. After you lived enough life, have enough
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: relationships and experienced enough roads, all those things sound like
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: they become basics. They become necessities to a successful relationship.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: And success is not just being together.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: No, it's not. And we know that. And it's funny
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: because one of the com because you know, people comment
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: on what these men are saying. I think this one
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: is so true. Eighty percent of these guys should not
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: be married to their wives. Yeah, oh yeah, marriage should
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: not be miserable. The other twenty percent are sweet and
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: kind of sad. I think that actually is probably pretty true.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: That probably goes along with divorce statistics.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: All right, well, I hope that was enlightening to many
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: of you listening. We always appreciate you coming along with us.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: I'm am you roboch alongside TJ. Holmes. We'll talk to
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: you soon.