Latest / Because Fuck You That's Why Podcast / Show #342 Moose, Caws, and Claws Audio

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Show #342 Moose, Caws, and Claws Audio · Because Fuck You That's Why Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Because fuck you, that's why, is a founding member of
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: the Odd Pods Media Network.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to episode 342 of BFYTW. That rhymed.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Because fuck you, that's why. I'm your host, Pantsless Aaron,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: and I'm going to take our players through three silly games.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: We're going to play panel show style games. In our podcast,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: it's all about just sitting back, relaxing, and having fun.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And not at all talking about heavy subjects. That make
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: us kind of sad.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Nope, not once. Ever.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: That's an in-joke for our Patreons who will hear the
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: before section of this podcast, which is a doozy. An
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: absolute doozy.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Real life, bitches. Real life.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: We had a real heavy discussion. And it was wild.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, am I in the right mood to
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: do this show properly? I don't know, but fuck it,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: let's go. Um, so we have a very special guest
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: with us. It's Jabo. Hey, Jabo.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: What's up, TJ?
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Hey, what's going on? That's so adorable that you refer
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: to me as very special, but I'll take it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Well, you are.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I'll take it.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: You are special.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: We're always delighted to have you here. and excited to
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: play games with you. We didn't discuss how the game
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: was going to work. Do you guys want to do
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: some weird one-on-two team-up, or do you want to do, like, cutthroat?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I don't care.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I'm down anyway.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Everybody for themselves?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why not? Yeah.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Why not?
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Let's see what happens.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Heck yeah, three-way show.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Three-way show. Three-way show.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Three-way. All right.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: In that case, let's do a three-way.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Let's get started. He's a gamer and a storyteller, and
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: he used to be my youngest friend. Now he's just Augie.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Yay. Hey, Aug.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: It's Aug. What's up, Aug?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Not much. You know, living in.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: today a hundred.
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: Percent um agi what is the worst oh god what
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: is the worst beginning of something that you can think of.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: The worst beginning of something beginning Oh, God.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Well, it started off really bad.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Now, it doesn't have to be something that got good
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: later on. It could be something that started bad and
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: got worse.
• 3:04
  Speaker 6: Oh, fuck.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Or just stayed bad. I'm just looking for a really
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: bad beginning.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I got one.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: God, that is such a good one because there's so
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: much shit that just did not get off. I mean,
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: I guess I could just do a callback to, like,
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: certain games like no man's sky had a rough start.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Oh yes it did.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: Um, anyone who's familiar with the game, no man's sky,
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: it's like a space exploration game.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Um, just something fun.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Uh, nothing too complicated, base building, all that cool shit. Uh,
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: and it was pretty bare bones and very much broken
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: at the beginning. I did not meet very many, um, many,
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: many promises and ultimately suffered for it, but, uh, they
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: stuck it out and over years have vastly improved the
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: game to the point where they even gone far beyond, uh, anything.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: And it's all been free content updates too, which is nice.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: Uh, CD project ride with cyberpunk famously did the same too. Uh,
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: but it, that's, It's not always a good thing to
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: praise a game company from starting off super bad and
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: eventually getting their shit together. It should always be like,
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: when the game's ready, put it out. So that way
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: you're putting out good product right from the get-go. But
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: it's also understandable that it was also a shareholder slash
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: financial management decision, not a dev decision.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a lot of the things the devs
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: were forced to put in They were not prepared to
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: based on the design.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: And then the timetables being launched up to like, well,
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: there's these games now coming out, indie games coming out,
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: early access. So now we got to just release our
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: shit when we're, when it's ready to just go out.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And there was this huge media push that they basically
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: got for free. Because their game had 18 quintillion worlds
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: or something like that.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, it was the selling point of the
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: thing is that millions of gamers could not possibly find
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: everything there is to find in this game, even if
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: they had like 10 or 20 years to do so.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: That's awesome.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Because there's just so much.
• 5:12
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: That makes sense.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: And it gave them a lot of free press, but
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I think it also came with a huge amount of expectations.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like, yeah, you could travel forever, but.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: A lot of the press and a lot of people
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: were asking, like, can you play multiplayer? Can you meet
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: your friends in this world and do all this stuff?
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: And they're like, we hadn't planned on that, but we'll
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: look into it.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Is that what this was supposed to be?
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And then it became, yeah, we're going to have to
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: do that now. We kind of sort of are hamstrung
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: into it. And so I think there were a lot
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: of things that they had to add on the back
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: end they weren't prepared for, and I think it just...
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: got in the way and made things buggy and messed up,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: and it wasn't what everyone wanted or expected right at first. Now,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: having said that, it is a fucking hell of a
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: game now.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: I've enjoyed it. I think even as little as three
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: or six months after launch, I was enjoying that game.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there were some games, too.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: But they've added so much for free if you owned
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: it at the outset. You know, they just add it
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: to the game and here's some more stuff you can do.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Here's some more stuff. Like, it just never ends. Like,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: they're still doing it.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: It's been, like, what, five years?
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: They're still adding more just to add more.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That's a good company, man.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: They could have taken their money and just run to
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: the bank. But, no, they're still giving players more value
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: for this one thing.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Because they actually care about it and shit. That's why. Yeah.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: I mean, that's a huge thing.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Huge thing, and I 100% agree. Let's move on.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Stevie.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Yo.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: He's a veteran and a podcaster, technically. That makes him
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: a veteran podcaster.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Hey. Oh, shit. What's up, audience?
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: Yo.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: All right, sir. Same question. What, to you, was a
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: disastrous beginning?
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Any night that started with Everclear.
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: Now, I was a poor airman when I was in
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: the military, and I lived in the dorms.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Listeners, you can't say this, but Jabo's eyes widened, and
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: he started nodding.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yep.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: So, almost like soju.
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: Like, all you need is some fucking Kool-Aid, baby. You
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: got yourself a fucking nice night. But the fucking hangovers
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: after and the stupid shit you would do on that
• 7:30
  Speaker 6: shit was fucked up.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I remember jumping off balconies and shit.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: What? This sounds like a good beginning, but a bad end.
• 7:37
  Speaker 6: That's what it, now, no, because it tasted fucking horrible.
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: Like the first couple bottles I bought, I was in
• 7:44
  Speaker 6: the back courtyard of like the dorms, right? There's a
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: bunch of us mechanics out there and the ones who
• 7:49
  Speaker 6: are allowed to drink are drinking. I'm just like, well,
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: I could drink whatever because I was always drinking whatever.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, drink this. And I'm like, all right.
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: So I opened the bottle and started chugging it. And
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: I thought I was going to die. But because of pride,
• 8:00
  Speaker 6: I kept drinking it.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: And it was one of the dumbest mistakes. Because it
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: was at least eight, nine shots. It was a good
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: lot of big gulps.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: And it literally tells you. And I don't know if
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: they still do it this way. But I'm pretty sure
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: the last time I picked up a bottle, they did.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Doesn't it literally tell you on the bottle of Everclear,
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: do not drink this by itself.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Highly flammable.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: If you are going to drink.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it tells you, like, I think there's only three
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: alcohols on the planet I've seen that literally, like, the
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: label's not cute, there's no angels, it's not like some fucking,
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: some anamorphic fucking orange, like, high-fiving a bottle. Yeah. it's
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: literally a fucking label like printed by like the health
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: association it's like if you were going to do this
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: nigga know what you were about to get into like
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: i'm i'm not like i'm trying my best not to
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: joke but i i i'm not isn't there literally a
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: warning on there it says do not drink by itself
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: do not take pretty sure.
• 9:00
  Speaker 6: Only yeah there's like so there's like the limit you're
• 9:02
  Speaker 6: supposed to have per day or something like you're only supposed.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: To have this much and that's it And on base
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: gets you the real shit.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: So it's like, you're the guy that takes us from
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: fucking gizmo to stripe all in one 15 minute.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: We don't have to wait the whole movie. It's like, yep.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Stripes showing up.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Oh man.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: You go to the bathroom. He'll be here before the
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: first black person.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: And finally, our very special guest, Jabo. Hey, Jabo.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: What's up, brother?
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Same question. What is a bad beginning you can think of?
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: It depends on who you ask, but a prison blowjob.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Uh-huh. a song about it.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: I don't think.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: There's a reason to ask.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: They knock all your teeth out first.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: That part sucks.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: But then you suck. It really just sucks all around.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: You're like, oh, man. You're probably wondering, oh, man, is
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: all this they say about prison true? I don't imagine
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: it happens on day one or day two. They probably
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: let you get acclimated. I figure the first couple days
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: are kind of maybe fun, enjoyable, kind of like the
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: walk into the lunchroom scene in fucking Mean Girls. This
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: is your table of violent offenders. Shit like that. I
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: don't imagine somebody telling you, Hey, welcome to the room.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Got a couple rules. First of all, you got to
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: stay on the bottom, buddy. It's just a thing. Secondly,
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: if you want to put your stuff over there, you're
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: going to have to suck my dick. And you're also
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: going to have to suck his, too, because he's been
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: here longer than you. Now, I know it's kind of
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: a shock, but we're going to go ahead and get started.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: And the thing is, like, it's not over till one
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: of us finishes. Like, there's no... Yeah.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: He's got a good point.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: There's no, you're not like, are you sure this is
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: going to, you know, you guys aren't going to take
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: my shower shoes after this, are you? Like, there's no
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: good conversation.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Going into it.
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: Y'all want the blowjob, but I don't want the foot fungus.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: I'll suck your dick, but if I have to get
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: that shit, that Lamisil shit, if I have to have
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: these little things dying under my toenails, then fuck it.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I have my fucking pride, all right?
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: But fill me up, bro. Like, there's no... There's no...
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: There's no.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: For it to be heard to be over in most
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: cases um in most cases the finish line is somebody
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: ejaculating in you on you around you something to that
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: effect and i'm not a huge fan of my own
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: that that's a very aggressive way to find out two
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: things a i don't really have an oral fixation i've
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: been lying all these years and b that no i
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: don't have my price because yeah that's not a That's
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: not a good start or a good finish.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: No, I think you win this one.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: You get a point for the pre-show.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Pre-show point.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I'm supposed to follow this and I don't fucking... I
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: got nothing.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I'm your host, Pantsless Aaron.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I had some trouble building a computer this week. So
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: let's move on to game one.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: He's like, y'all fucked up.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Let's move on to game one. Game one is like
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: share block. I got three new stories here. We're just
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: going to go over them one by one. And our
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: players just have to tell me which one I would like,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: which one I would share, and which one I would
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: block on social media. There is only one correct combination,
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: and each news story has one of those three options. So,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: let's get started. Our first news story. Bull Moose flubs
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: sick grind and gets stuck in a skate park pool.
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: Wait a.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Minute.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: To be fair.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: A lot of skate park stuff is difficult to manage
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: if you don't have a skateboard. But I think it's
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: a little bit harder if you have four legs and
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: they have hooves on them.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: If only somebody threw them their board, man, you would
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: have been fine.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: A bull moose in Montana recently found out that if
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: you don't know how to skate, you should probably stay
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: out of skate parks. The exploring and wandering animal fell
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: into a skate bowl, a concrete structure that is essentially
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: an empty swimming pool with curved walls. However, the moose
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: quickly discovered that it was hopelessly stuck. It exhausted itself
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: trying to climb the slippery concrete walls. And it took
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: several hours before rescuers finally managed to sedate the moose
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: and haul him out of the bowl. But fortunately, the
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: moose was returned to the woods no worse for wear.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: That bowl must have been fucking deep as shit because
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: there's no way that moose would have been able to
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: walk out of anything else.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Those things are huge. That's crazy. I couldn't even imagine, man.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Man, I have a picture of it. Oh, yeah, that's
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: a pretty deep hole. The moose's antlers don't even clear
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: the top.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, okay.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like 15 feet deep.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Why did it take them so long to sedate it?
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Isn't it dart guns?
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Well, they tried to get it out without at first.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Fuck that.
• 14:38
  Speaker 6: You do not try to move a moose that's a week.
• 14:41
  Speaker 6: That's just stupid.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: They were trying to help him help himself. This was
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: a place called Red Lodge in Montana.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: That's fucking fly. It was Montana. Canadians know better than
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: to fuck with awake moose.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Listen, they have escape parks, so they can't be all
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: that bad. The moose had exhausted itself trying to climb,
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: and rescuers from wildlife services and local fire and police
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: departments laid down tarps and tried to rig up structures
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: that would allow the moose to climb out on its own.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: but that didn't work, so they attempted to build a
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: big cushion on which the moose could lie down and
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: get pulled out, but that didn't work either. Eventually, they
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: just cordoned off the area, they brought out a tranquilizer gun,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: shot a dart at the moose, and then waited for
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: some hours for the sedative to work. Finally, at 2 p.m.,
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: the moose fell asleep, and wildlife authorities pushed him onto
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: a tarp, and then a dozen people hauled him out
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: of the bowl.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: That's insane.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Wildlife officials loaded him into a trailer and took him
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: outside of town. They let him go back into the woods. Fuck.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 15:49
  Speaker 6: I got nothing, man. A wandering moose in a skate park.
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: It's something I never thought I'd hear.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know. It sounds very Disney movie-ish. And I'm
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: trying to figure out why the world just, you know,
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: everyone embraced a deformed raccoon for stealing shit. but a
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: moose wants to go rip a couple fucking kickflips and
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden it's oh let's shoot his ass
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: yeah after we shoot.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Him he's got fun it's because they're scared i.
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: Mean i was too i said fuck to the fucking
• 16:21
  Speaker 6: trying to get out normally you know you drank that
• 16:23
  Speaker 6: bitch I'm white as fuck.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Trank it first. We'll talk after he wakes up.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: I don't give a fuck. I'm white as fuck, Trank.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Not that I'm trying to start anything, but what's the
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: black reaction to that?
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Man, fuck that shit. I'm out.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: I'm waiting for a black dude next to me to
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: be like, Trank, if you want to, nigga, I'm about
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: to hit him with this. 5, dawg.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I'm about to.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Bret, bret, bret, bret that nigga up. Like, okay.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: I'm running, man.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: I ain't going near a fucking moose, man. This is terrifying.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's ever been a fucking dialed in
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: answer in my head for anything. Maybe we should try again.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: So maybe you're right.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: I mean, there's a reason why Kevin Smith wants to
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: make a movie called Moose Jaws.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Jaws with a moose.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: A terrifying moose killing people.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Dude, do you know how many people die every year
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: from moose attack?
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Isn't it one of those really high numbers?
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: It's a lot. It's fucked up. It's a number. It's
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: a number.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: It's a number.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: It's a positive. It's a positive.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: It's a positive.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: It's a positive.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: It's a positive.
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: It's bigger than zero.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: That's absolutely fucking crazy.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: While Steve looks up how many moose have killed people.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Let's move on to story number two.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: It's 16 a year. In Canada alone.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: I mean, that is a very small number, but still.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: But it's a big number, too.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: It's big enough that it's a concern that you may
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: have to talk to your kids about.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: It's a rare occurrence that could happen.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it could.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: It's a tornado.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: In Canada. In Canada. It's a tornado, bro.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: That is a tornado, yeah.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: All right, let's move on to story number two. A
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Florida man smuggling birds in his pants caught when customs
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: agents noticed... Preposterous manhood bulge. Preposterous?
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Like David Bowie version?
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: What the fuck's wrong with it?
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: So, smugglers love to come up with ingenious ways to
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: transport goods across borders. Like they might have hidden compartments
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: in their suitcase, or they might swallow their dirty goods,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: or even build a homemade submarine to transport them. Or
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: they could get lazy like this guy and just stuff
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: them down their pants.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: As I do with everything I try to hide from people.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Alberto Castilla was allegedly attempting to smuggle prohibited birds into
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: the U.S. through a unconventional method.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I don't believe this is his real name.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: He had attached them to his underwear.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: First of all, how are you going to keep them
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: quiet without killing them? I mean, even sedating them could
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: kill them.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: You are gonna want me to finish this.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. At customs, Castillo reported he was carrying nothing
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: of interest and had nothing to declare. However, the customs
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: agent's eyes were drawn to what they described as, quote,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: an unexplained bulge in his pants.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: As in, it was fighting itself?
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: I don't know, dude, but... what if they would have
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: took him back and it would have been.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: All him there's no way in.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: The world and they fucking and he happens to be
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: like 13 and a half of like pure colombian fucking sausage.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: And they're just like.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: Just like, you thought this was going to be a
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: bird story. This is my cock. Yeah.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: This is harassment.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Uh, in a scenario that I have personally dreamt about, um,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: the agents asked Castillo to drop his pants so they
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: could take a closer look. Um, but instead of a,
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: instead of a, Pocket rocket. The customs officials found ten
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: birds stuffed into plastic tubes all hanging from his underwear.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: What the fuck?
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I guess their heads and beaks are probably sticking up.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: They can't really take in a lot of air just
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: enough to breathe.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Let him in the country. let him in the fucking
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: country there's man there's there's so many things there's this
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: this goes one of two ways either you let this
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: dude in because i'm sure the amount of what the
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: fuck that it took to get them things strapped down
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: was amount of what the fuck it took or two
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: what the fuck did you sneak in when you caught
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: this guy like when y'all were all pouncing on this
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: dude what the hell y'all sneaking for real like iguanas
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: filled with cocaine y'all got like the batman bird dude
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: the dude's got batarang.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: How many tigers have been snuck in somebody's pants this
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: whole time this whole time nobody caught it thank.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: God we got those heroin filled fucking lemurs in the
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: country thanks for taking one for the team eduardo or
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: whatever i think his name.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Was did the bird survive at least.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Um, I don't know. Let me see.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: I hope so, but I have a feeling a no-so.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: They're scarred. Yeah. Birds are planet.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: Sensitive to shit like that.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Each tube contained live birds.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: So they did live through the experience.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, how much longer through the experience?
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: He got stopped at an airport that allowed beatings of
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: stupid people, right?
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: While they are not in danger, they are protected, and
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: removing them from their natural habitats is illegal.
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: Fucking hell.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Kneecap them.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: But after they were discovered, Castillo claimed that they were
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: for his personal use.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: These are my underwear birds.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: These are my personal underwear birds.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: For my fashion. let him go i.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I need a dick that not only looks huge but
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: also tweets let that guy go i.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Can make him dance.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: Too whatever excuse he came up for is like oh
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: personal use for what i don't give a shit is
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: if that dude started talking after someone's like explain personal
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: use and he had something that flowed let him go
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: man he really thought this one out who is he
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: hurting There's some kid that's going to be able to
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: get an endangered cockatoo. Leave that man alone.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Canary in his coal mine.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Canary in his coal mine.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Let that man do his thing. There you go. That's
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: the name of the Disney movie they make. Canary in
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: the coal mine.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: It's just a bird shoved up his ass.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: It's just a duck.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Canary is just a fucking duck.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Let's move on to story number three. New health treatment
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: salons relieve your stress by scratching you with large talons.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm fucking in. I love being fucking torn apart.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Scratch me.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Well, you might just be in luck.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Are you fucking serious?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: A Chinese health business operator and serial entrepreneur is always
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: on the lookout for new ideas. Might slow down now
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: because he's found success in a unique market niche. He
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: runs beauty salons where people get gently scratched. Although the
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: idea sounds weird, it's become a huge hit in China.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: They're paying top dollar for attendants to scrape their backs, limbs,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: and faces with admittedly freaky-looking fake nails and claws. It's
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: so popular he's been able to open another branch and
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: still can't satisfy all the demand.
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: Dude, I would manage one of those places, but I
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: want free service.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'll tip, of course. But holy fuck yes.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: A standard session lasts about an hour. For that, it's
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: 300 yuan, which is about $ 45 American.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck yes!
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Once the formalities are done, you're led to a space
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: that looks like a massage room. You bear the area
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: you want the therapist to scratch and cover any potentially
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: unrevealed unmentionables with a towel and lie down. Then your
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: professional scratcher enters. On their fingers, they will have wild-looking, long,
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: and sharp fake nails or claws. The appearance can vary.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: In some videos, they're using something that looks like barbecue
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: meat shredding claws, while others show his female employees sporting
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: fancy decorated nails. And during the session, they run the
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: claws gently along your designated areas. They may also scratch
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: a particularly itchy spot. And once the hour is over,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: you get dressed. Thank your scratcher and go on your way.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 25:03
  Speaker 6: I'm glad you shared this with me, Aaron, because I'm
• 25:05
  Speaker 6: going to share. Holy fuck, that is amazing.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: That is great.
• 25:13
  Speaker 6: I don't know about everybody else, but I like a
• 25:16
  Speaker 6: little pain. And not just for that stuff.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, for everything.
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: And my tattoo artist, my tattoo therapist, told me that
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: a lot of people who are in constant pain, they
• 25:26
  Speaker 6: get a lot of relief when they get tattoos and
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: feel controlled pain. So it takes the other stuff away. So,
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: shit like that is fucking amazing.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. I hope.
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: I gotta look to see if that's something like that here,
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: because that's really fucking neat.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 25:45
  Speaker 6: Scratch therapy. I, uh.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's awesome.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: The one and only time I've ever gotten a massage
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: was when we were in Vegas, and it was like
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: that hydro.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: We.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Were basically put into a tube, and.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: and had water balloons... Water balloons thrown at you.
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: Basically, yeah, while you were laying on a table.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: While you.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: Well, you panically look around going, oh, they made me
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: take everything out of my pocket and put it in
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: a bin in front of me that's just out of
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: arm's reach. So if somebody else in this mall-like area
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: come walking up, they could just grab my shit and
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: run with it.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: So not really relaxing at all. Yeah. It felt good.
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: But I could see the appeal of that because it
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: is a tactile skin thing.
• 26:36
  Speaker 8: Sensation thing but yeah but again that was a machine
• 26:40
  Speaker 8: doing now imagine a person actually doing that it's way
• 26:42
  Speaker 8: different too and then this on top of it's just
• 26:45
  Speaker 8: hitting that niche spot.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: Honestly I didn't know that was not something that was
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: explored before I figured most tactile senses have been yeah
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: I think to.
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: Make it legitimate and to be able to do it
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: I guess I don't know I think.
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: It shows how little I know and how little I do.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: It yes.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I just stumbled onto something It's like, we could be
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: doing something inappropriate and making you fucking fire off a
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: load in there. But for some reason, people respond really
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: well to just getting fucking scratched.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: As long as you're tipped well, fuck it.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, who knows? It could be a thing here, too.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: You never know.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Look it up after the show.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Somebody's definitely getting scratched here.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Somebody's going to try it for sure.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, someone already has.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: Steve's already booking.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: That's our three news stories. Once again, I'll just quickly
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: go over them. Story number one, bull moose flubs sick
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: grind and gets stuck in state park pool. Story number two,
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Florida man smuggling birds in his pants gets caught when
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: customs agents notice preposterous manhood bulge. Or story number three,
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: new health treatment salons relieve stress by scratching you with
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: large talons. Jabo is our very special guest, so I'm
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: going to let him go first.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: I'm so not special.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: It's adorable.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Okay, so what am I supposed to do? You keep one.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I shared one, I liked one, and I blocked
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: one on social media. So you just have to figure
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: out the right combination.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is going to be really bad. I say
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: you shared the bird bulge.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: You blocked the moose. And you liked the, what's the
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: other one?
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: The scratching.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: And you liked the scratching.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Fair enough.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: It's not like my strongest whatever, but I figure it's
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: a good launcher.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Now, between the two of you, I don't remember which
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: one of you won the last game.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: Was it you? All right.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: So, Augie, I'm going to let you pick next. You
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: can keep one of Jabba's, but you have to swap
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: the other two. Or you can go entirely your own way.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Your call.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 29:00
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: I do believe you shared the scratching. I believe you.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: I believe you blocked the moose as well.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: And then liked the prosperous... The inconceivable man bulge.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Inconceivable. Inconceivable! Okay, so you blocked the moose, liked the bulge,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: and shared the scratching. All right, Stevie, you have to
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: go a unique way, which means you're not allowed to
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: block the Bull Moose. You must either like or share it.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Well, that's fine because I didn't.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Okay. Well.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I chose to like the moose.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Block the bird parts.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 29:45
  Speaker 6: But share the fuck out of the scratch thing because
• 29:47
  Speaker 6: that's awesome. I think that's what you did. You shared
• 29:52
  Speaker 6: it with me.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: I have to give this one to Stevie. He's exactly right.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: That's so cool.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Ordinarily, I would share the Bulge thing because that's just
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: fucking funny.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: If he were smuggling something that wasn't alive.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: If he was smuggling drugs or something weird that wasn't
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: a creature. But I guarantee being wrapped in a plastic
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: tube was not good for these birds.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: The stress alone will kill probably some of these birds.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: So while his attempt was amusing, it's not a good thing.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: So I just blocked it. The bull moose getting trapped
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: in a skate is kind of funny. It's kind of funny.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I kind of wish there was video of it. I'd
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: feel a little bad for it, but they did eventually
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: get him out and he's fine. He's not injured or
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: sick or anything. So, you know, it turned out fine
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: for him. He's okay. He was just stressed out for
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: a day. But I absolutely loved the health salon. I'm like,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I would love that too. Somebody gifted me a fucking
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: back scratcher and it changed my goddamn life.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Like, I use that thing all the time and it
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: feels so good.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: Things are awesome.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: So the idea of being able to just sit there
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: and someone just does that. For an hour?
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Fuck, guys. That's what I'm saying.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. If I don't blast off a load,
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I'll be impressed.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of cum involved in that choice.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like no joke.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: It's a good one, though. It's a good one.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: All right, so it is one episode point to Stevie.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Augie and Jabba are still on zero, but they can
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: easily and quickly catch up. Our next game is worth
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: two episode points, and we're going to play it right
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: after this.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I'm Richie, a.k.a.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Midnight Agent Raw. I'm Devin, a.k.a. Special Delivery Dev.
• 31:57
  Speaker 7: We're the Super Media Bros Podcast. And each week, we
• 32:00
  Speaker 7: give a comedically informative take on movies, music, television, pro wrestling,
• 32:05
  Speaker 7: and much more. Check us out at supermediabrospodcast.com, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
• 32:11
  Speaker 7: or anywhere else that you can listen to podcasts.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Shades on.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: We're off. Hey, if you're in the western New York area.
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: and you are a fan of the green, head on
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: over to Peace, Love, and Bud at 320 Self Transit
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: Road in Lockport, New York.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Tell them BFYTW sent you. Maybe they'll hook you up.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Hey, man. Welcome back. It's time for game two. We're
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: going to play Pop Culture Fight Club. This game was
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: generously donated to the show by one Colin Maggs. Thank
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: you so much, Colin. Much appreciated.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: Hi, Colin.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: And the way it works is I'm just going to
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: give you guys some sort of question about something about
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: pop culture. And you guys are going to present your
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: favorite option for that question. And you guys are going
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: to have to argue your position and defend your choice
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: as the others can interrogate you and ask you questions
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: and try and point out weak spots. Um, but after
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: all three of you have gone, I will decide which
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: one I think is, has, has convinced me that there's
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: is actually the best and they will win the game
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: and earn two episode points this week. As I said
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: at the start, this has been a week of bad
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: beginnings for me. Uh, so I want you guys to
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: talk to me about your favorite endings. What is the
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: best ending to a book, video game, TV show, or movie?
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: And because this is locked to pop culture, Jabbo, I
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: don't want to hear like Prison Anal or some shit.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Shit.
• 33:49
  Speaker 6: That was volume two, man.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I remember that one.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: I was like, damn.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: He knew where I was going.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: But what pop culture ending do you still think about
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: years later? And whoever presents the best case is going
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: to win this game and earn two episode points. Now, Stevie,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: you won the last game, so you are going to
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: go first.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, shit. That's how we're doing this?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Yes. You are, by default, going to go first, and
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: then I will let Auggie and Jabba decide which one
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: of them wants to go second and which one wants
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: to go last.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: But because you won, I'm forcing you to go first.
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: That's fair.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: That's fair. That's fair.
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 34:27
  Speaker 6: I wrote, like, four things down because I didn't know
• 34:29
  Speaker 6: what I wanted, so I'm going to go with this
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: one in just hopes.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: 1992's Wolfenstein 3D. The original Wolf.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: With Bill B.J. Blazkowicz. Blazkowicz.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Blazkowicz.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: That's what it was.
• 34:48
  Speaker 6: My main reason for this is because I got to
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: watch my father play this game. And I didn't get
• 34:54
  Speaker 6: to watch my father play a lot of games. Like,
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: he was always working or doing some shit. But he
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: was a nerd. He was a jock, but he was
• 34:59
  Speaker 6: a fucking nerd, too. And I love him for it. Um,
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: but I got to see him play this game that
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: I've never seen a game like this, a first person
• 35:06
  Speaker 6: game like this on a home computer and shit. Um,
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: and that's what got me into FPS is like, honestly
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: it did. Um, but him finding the secrets and then
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: taking out all the Nazi bosses, man, I'm all about
• 35:17
  Speaker 6: killing some fucking Nazis. Like that's like a pastime of
• 35:19
  Speaker 6: my fucking family. Both sides of my family love killing
• 35:24
  Speaker 6: fucking Nazis.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Fuck them.
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: And I can't remember if my dad actually beat Wolf
• 35:30
  Speaker 6: 3D or not. I can't remember if he did. But
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: I luckily did. I know it was like a year
• 35:35
  Speaker 6: or so later, probably like 93. But I know it
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: was before Doom. But finally getting to that final boss.
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: And it's fucking Hitler in a goddamn mech.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's Mecha Hitler.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: And it's fucking insane, too. Because.
• 35:51
  Speaker 6: He's got, like, four miniguns, and then after you destroy
• 35:54
  Speaker 6: that version of him, he jumps out of the mech,
• 35:56
  Speaker 6: and you gotta fight regular Hitler with two miniguns.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And you get to take him out, and, like, and
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: throughout the whole game, they're speaking German. It's fucking 92, man.
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: I'm, like, 10 years old. I don't know fucking what
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: the hell they're saying and shit. But I saw it
• 36:13
  Speaker 6: today when I was just trying to figure out what
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: level it was and shit, because I was looking up.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Something else I was going to choose, and this got
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: in my head.
• 36:19
  Speaker 9: And his final words were, and it translates to, saying
• 36:27
  Speaker 9: goodbye to Ava as.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: He commuted suicide back then. But that's the last thing
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: he fucking said.
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: But I love that ending so much for obviously multiple reasons.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: It was a very.
• 36:40
  Speaker 6: very memorable connecting point for my father and me in
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: a first person shooter game that I've never experienced before.
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: That was like one of the first times where I'm
• 36:48
  Speaker 6: like watching my dad play this game and I'm fucking amazed,
• 36:51
  Speaker 6: just destroying all these Nazis, you know, and coming from
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: always being at my grandparents' house and him being a
• 36:56
  Speaker 6: world war two, physically killing Nazis.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I got to hear a lot of stories and shit. Um, but,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: the ending of.
• 37:02
  Speaker 6: It to be able to take out the ultimate evil
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: that any of us would do if we had the
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: opportunity to, you know, it was like, yeah, no, that
• 37:08
  Speaker 6: motherfucker needs to die for the shit he did, you know?
• 37:11
  Speaker 6: And then as all great endings in killing Hitler and
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: whatnot with that saga, it created a new beginning that
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: was fucking epic in doom in 93.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: And even as a shareware version, it just goes on.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, man, that shit fucking hits me good.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: All right. Kill Hitler.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: When you guys think about how you would like to
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: attack that particular option, I'm just going to say, really, man?
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Wolfenstein 3D?
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Because you know immediately after Hitler melts or collapses into
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: a pile of Hitler chunks.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Hitler chunks.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. All I can picture is that dude in the
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Resident Evil movie with the lasers. Oh, yeah. Because that's
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: effectively what happened to Hitler.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: He literally just melts.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: Just falls apart when you beat him in a bloody mess.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: But after that, there is an actual ending ending.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: No, that's the ending.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: No, there is an actual ending ending.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: That was the ending that was presented to us in 92.
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: I'm just saying, the original ending in 92 was that.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: You literally get a screen of B.J. Blazkowicz leaving the
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: prison or whatever, the fortress that Hitler's in. And he
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: literally just raises one hand in the air and he goes, Yeah!
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: And it's the most bullshit, like, 80s thing you could
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: ever imagine.
• 38:35
  Speaker 6: To be fair, his father was Commander Keen, so he's just,
• 38:39
  Speaker 6: it's in the blood.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: When you win shit like that, it's just, it's natural, bitch.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: It's natural. That's why.
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: That's why.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Augie or Jocko, do either of you want to try
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: and interrogate Stevie and drag him down?
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: I mean, technically, the story didn't end because it continued
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: canonically through Doom.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: No, his story ended.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I would argue that it's still an ending to that game.
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: It is an ending to that game.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: I truly do with Wolfenstein. But is it really your
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: favorite ending? Even amongst the Doom games.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Favorite ending? Yeah. I think because the Doom ones don't
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: really end. None of them end.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: I mean it is Rip and Tear until it's done
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: and it's never done.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: And it's never done. There's always demons. There's always a
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: version of hell. It's never done. They're just gonna it
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: can continue whereas this ends. Yeah. And like I said
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I know it opens up a new story but that's
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: with almost anything.
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: God I wish fascism ended.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Don't we all?
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm not the guy to poke holes
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: in this being a wonderful ending for you. You can
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: pass it to me. Based off of three things. First
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: of all, it completely grabs me in the feels because
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: you're like, oh, you know, it's got a connection to
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: my dad. So there, I'm not going to fuck with you. Two, Um,
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: seeing as how I think, I don't, I'm not sure.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure Augie, pretty sure Augie's got this one too,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: but I noticed that there was a, a whole feeling of, oh,
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: this nigga said the wrong name when he was like, oh, the.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: the protagonist of the game, and all of you were like, ha,
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: let's correct him. And I'm the guy who's like, that
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: motherfucker's name wasn't Doom. So maybe I'm not the guy.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: No, in Doom, that character was Doomguy. Literally his name, Doomguy.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, his name was Sergeant Doom, dog. They
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: don't put your name.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Sergeant Doom.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: They don't put something else across the game if that's
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: not your name. There's somebody in there named NBA James.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Yes I love NBA Jam like I don't so based
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: off of that as well I'm naming my son NBA
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: Jam Jam you get over here I love you.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: NBA Jam.
• 41:24
  Speaker 6: I hate my dad little.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: White boy's name dunk everything little dog but little dude
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: from the.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Other side his father he's gonna be a little nerd too.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: Um so that's part two because i'm the only person
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: was like oh dude's name isn't sergeant doom okay and
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: then third like i think while the world was appreciating
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: um first person shooters and doom and everything else and
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: stuff like that. Like, I think I just discovered like,
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: like boobs.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: And I'm not trying to say that like boobs are
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: on that. Like, like when I tell you the boobs
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: are like boobs are a lot like, like Nishan, I
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: was still like, you know, and I'm sure you guys
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: wanted to know this. I'm just like, hey, you doing anything?
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: She's like, you're going to have to see my boobs,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: aren't you? I'm like, I mean, since you're there. So, like,
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, since you're breathing.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: They're not sissy, are they?
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: They are.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: They're not doing it.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: You're on the phone with a parent. They can't see you.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Just pop them out real quick.
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: So those are probably the reasons why I don't think
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: I'm not the guy to poke holes in your love
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: for that moment. So, I mean, I figured for it
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: to be your favorite, the one thing I can say
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: is for I figured to be, like, your favorite.
• 42:50
  Speaker 6: In this moment in time today, yes, that's my favorite.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you kind of sounded like, ah, it was cool
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: as shit.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: You were like, oh my god, I'm fucking.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: There were angels raining from the heavens. My cock was
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: getting fluffed by feathers.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: It was amazing.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: You were just like, nah, man, it was really fucking cool.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Like, really cool.
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: It got me into the FPSs. I mean, I still
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: play Call of Duty, like, every day now.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: That's fair.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I'm back into it.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: All right. So everybody's had a crack at it. Now,
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Augie and Jabba, which one of you wants to go next?
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: I can go next.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: And which one of you is okay with going last?
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: If you don't want to.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: No, you can go ahead, Augs.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 43:26
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: Cause mine is not fantastic. It's, it's, it's a feel good.
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: I had a hard time choosing because yeah, we had
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: that kind of issue of where like, there are so
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: many that aren't like ended technically, or they are ending,
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: but then now there are people coming out and making
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: sequels and spinoffs with them anyway. So I guess they're
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: technically no longer ended. Um, but I digress.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Uh, but I would say in most recent history, uh, Um, the.
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: Best ending I've actually experienced that truly actually like pulled
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: me at the heartstrings a little bit was at not any,
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: it was a specific ending, uh, in, uh, near on Amada.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: I've heard of near on Amada.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: It's a very, very Japanese game. Uh, that's, um, it's
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: really hard to explain. You kind of have to either
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: watch it or played it before. But one of the
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: ending is you're given a choice. There's a final boss
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: you have to deal with. And it's pretty tough.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: But other players can help you.
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: It's like one of the only times other players can
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: actually do something to your game or otherwise. But you're
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: given a choice. If you want to help other players,
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: you sacrifice your save file.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, no shit.
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: You sacrifice your save file, deletes everything.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: You have to start.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: All over again.
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: If you do that, though, you help another player with
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: their final boss.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: And the final thing that goes on there.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: A final event, like a weird shooter game.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Wow. That's pretty genius.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, the first time I'm like, holy hell. that's,
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: that's what, of course I did, obviously, just, I'm like, whatever,
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: I don't care if I delete my save file, I'll
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: do it, and it was one of the coolest things ever,
• 45:26
  Speaker 4: because it's like, yeah, you, now you, you actually made,
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: because the whole, the whole story behind the game is that, like,
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: you're trying to, like, save humanity, but humanity's basically already
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: fucked and gone.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: Um, and you're trying to now just kind of make
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: a difference, make things better, and this was, like, your
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: final option of being like, yeah, you can make things better,
• 45:47
  Speaker 4: you can make things easier, you can help somebody else
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: do what you just did. Or you can keep your
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: save file and do something else with it.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: That's neat. I like that.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's very cool.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Holy shit, that's cool.
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: There's not too many games that have that option.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: That game is a massive thinker.
• 46:06
  Speaker 7: It is.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: There's a lot going on.
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: It's too difficult to explain, and we don't have enough time.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very, very Japanese as well.
• 46:13
  Speaker 4: But I encourage anyone to check it out. It's Nier Automata.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: N-I-E-R.
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: N-I-E-R.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Automata. Yeah, it's a wild game.
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: Great soundtrack, awesome fucking fight combat system.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: It's great.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: Nice.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like shooter mixed with up-close slashing combat.
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Very cyberpunk type.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Some RPG mechanics as well.
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: A couple puzzles here and there.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, shit.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I guess my thing would be, well, it
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: doesn't sound like there's a real ending to the story then.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: It sounds like you just start over and go again.
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: Well, I feel like it is, because, like, I mean,
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: you could start over and go again, but it doesn't
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: change anything. You're still left with the same option at
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: the end.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: So.
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: Do you help a second person if you choose? Yeah,
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: every single time you do it, you can help another person.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: I don't believe it keeps track of how many times
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: you do that, but yeah, basically, it's almost like you
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: have a definitive end.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: The save file is gone.
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: If you choose to play the game again, that's like
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: choosing to play any game again.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: But basically, it's done. It's over.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: That is fair.
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: It's like you never were there.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: Alright, Steve or Jabo, either of you want to poke
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: holes in his idea? How do I pull this?
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: It's always so hard to poke holes in, like, RTE.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: It's like, what's the weak spot here? Because I think
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: the weak spot is narrative. I think your narrative just
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: kind of ends with this choice.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: It just.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 47:49
  Speaker 4: Because there are other, like, multiple different ending things, but
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: it always seems to end with this definitively.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: This last choice.
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like how Cyberpunk has multiple different endings that you
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: can kind of work towards or choose from. This game,
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: very similar, has the same thing, but you're always left
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: with that same choice of delete your save file, help
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: another player.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: Kind of thing. That's cool.
• 48:15
  Speaker 6: God, that would annoy me, though, if it deleted something
• 48:17
  Speaker 6: I really wanted. It's just a save file.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it is.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: Shoot.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: What was the character's name?
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: 2B.
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: 2B.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like androids.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:34
  Speaker 6: I've got nothing on that. I don't know anything about
• 48:37
  Speaker 6: how I could get this.
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: Robots. Jabba, you got anything?
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: Can't hear you.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: No, I don't.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hard.
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: I feel like the loss of narrative is a good argument.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: The love feels a little bit more genuine than Stevie's,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: no offense. But, like, I'm sorry.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: You didn't just pick it from four possible options.
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't mean to sound like a dick.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: That's fine. That's fine.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: Augie's is like, yeah. I mean, no, I can't. Besides,
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: it's one of those things that, you know, you guys
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: are absolutely more well-versed in. Oh.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: Well, in that case, I want to hear what Jabba's
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: got to say. Jabba, what is your favorite ending?
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: Mine's probably terrible. Because I read over these, but I
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: didn't break out any pads or anything. Yeah. blah, blah, blah.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: But like mine, I knew that my ending was either
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: going to be TV show or movie. Um, and it's
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: a really, really fucking really close toss up, but I'm,
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: I've been campaigning really hard and I think they just
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: crossed an anniversary, but I'm going to say the ending
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: of the wire. Um, okay. I've, I've had several conversations
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: with people as to why I think the wire is
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: the greatest show in the universe. And this may actually
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: disqualify me because the ending of the show is a
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: montage that shows you that things don't change, that things continue.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: I always tell people, you know, the difference between that
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: show and like a Breaking Bad or like The Sopranos
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: is The Sopranos is about Tony and the shit that
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: he goes through in his crew. Yeah. Breaking Bad is
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: about Walter and everything that happens and Spiles out of
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: control because of him becoming a drug lord. The Wire
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: is about Baltimore. It's about Baltimore corruption from the top
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: to the bottom. It's the drug dealers. It's the journalists.
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: It's the politicians. It's the D-boys on the street from
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: every angle. So when you start in the first season,
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: you have a specific guy that goes and robs drug dealers,
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: a specific organization of drug dealers, a specific set of
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: cops are trying to bring them down. You know, your supplier,
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: you have everybody that plays their position and plays their roles.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: And you walk through five seasons of seeing them, every
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: single one of them go through their arc, their wins,
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: their losses, their fails, all this kind of shit. And
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: the show, in my opinion, very few shows get parked perfectly.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: And I think that, Um, a lot of the times
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: you have to excuse it because if a show is
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: really great, but it doesn't exactly full blown stick the landing,
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: like you got to give it some fucking grace. I think, um,
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: the wires, one of the rare occasions where that happens.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: The only reason I said I might talk myself out
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: of the running with this one is because it does.
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: It's an ending to the show, but it's not a
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: quote unquote ending to what the show is really about.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: Because by the time you get to the last episode,
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: I believe the last scene is a montage and it
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: more or less shows you, Hey, you know, the dough boys,
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: you know, the, the, the D boys that were slinging
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: on the corners that we showed you in the first season. Yep.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: Those guys are gone, but we told you it's about
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: the city. Here's the whole new crew that you've met.
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: They're on those corners. Now the cops that were doing
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: their thing, they were good and they were bad. They
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: were fucking taking D boys off the corner, trying to
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: do the drug thing. They're all moved on, but here's
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: all the guys that are replacing it. Because guess what?
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: These guys weren't special. that like Baltimore is the city
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: Baltimore is where the stories happen. So what you're seeing
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: is a constant rotation of the same people, but the,
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: the montage is the end. It kind of feeds you that.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: And if you've watched every single episode of, of the wire,
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: it's kind of like, I always tell people for every
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: single problem I have with end game, end game to
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: me is the perfect victory lap for the MCU. The
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: last act of that movie, like all the, all the
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: time travel shit to me it's hogwash but everything I
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: will fight anyone on this pretty much anything around I
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: say anything around on your left to the end of
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: that movie is perfection and if you stayed around for
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: all of those years there's not you can't sit through
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: all of that without some part of it resonating with
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: you beyond all fuck like it hits you in the
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: feels the thing about the ending of the wire is
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: I think it does the exact same thing You fall
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: in love with this character. You fall in love with
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: their struggle. You're like, holy shit, there's no way in
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: the world. Like, how are they going to make it
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: through this? And by the time you get to the
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: end of it, like the character that you just, you know,
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: pined over, you find out they're just another fucking cog
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: in the system. They've been replaced by the time you
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: get to the last season. And by the time the
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: season ends, by the time the last episode of the
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: last season ends, it pretty much could absolutely be the
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: start of a first new season. So I think the
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: victory lap montage at the end is cinematically. I think
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: it's one of the best it's ever been done. As
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: far as it's showing you the closure for your characters,
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: but how it was never really about them. The story
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: is about the city, not about the people in it.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: You're getting stories about the people, but how it doesn't end.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: So I think that, that is probably my favorite. ending
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: i was gonna say fucking i absolutely was gonna say
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: the shield i was really close because i think the
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: shield is actually a very perfectly ended show as well
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: and there's no it's still got some open-ended shit to
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: it but the shield is a good part but i'm
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: gonna go with the wire it's just i don't know
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: very rarely do you get a show that ends that
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: wonderfully and there's nothing after it to fuck it up
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: all right.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: Um thematically speaking, I kind of have to put yours
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: on the same level as Augie's because I love the
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: idea of an ending being like, yes, your characters have,
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: you know, they've, they've moved on there.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: They're there.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: They've, they've beaten their struggles or whatever, but surprise stories continue.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: Those struggles are continuing to happen just with different people involved.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: You know? So it's like, it's, It's like pointing out
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: that the issue is systemic and not necessarily related to
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: these people. Which I dig. I absolutely dig that. I
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: think that's a phenomenal way to end a show like that.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: And it must have hit really hard. But at the
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: same time, you're also seeing a lot of these characters
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: move on to better things. So you're kind of like, uh,
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: you know, it's good to see that person, you got
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: out of their addiction or whatever.
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: And they're now with their family in a better place.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: And then, well, somebody else is now more addicted and
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: struggling with the very same addiction. So it's like, um,
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: I really dig it thematically. I'm really struggling to poke
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: a hole in this at all.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: This one's a tough one.
• 56:00
  Speaker 10: I've never watched the wire entirely.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: Uh, do please do.
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah i absolutely should.
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: It's it's just like it's just good.
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: But i do like the i do like those stories
• 56:12
  Speaker 4: where they're like because even like lore of the rings
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: um and all that like the story wasn't just like
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: about the hobbits and their adventure the story was about
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: the world and what was going on in it um
• 56:24
  Speaker 4: there were so many things from the book that was taken.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: Out of the.
• 56:29
  Speaker 4: So everybody just kind of sees it as a walking simulator,
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: but really what it was is that you were not
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: just walking through the land. You were seeing how the
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: events that were transpiring were affecting it or not affecting it.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: In some cases.
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:43
  Speaker 4: And I feel like, I like, I like the idea
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: that the end of the wire kind of shows that
• 56:47
  Speaker 4: same thing that it's a small piece in a big picture.
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: The wire is incredible. Like it's, there's very few shows
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: I'll tell people that it's like, if you're a fan
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: of certain things, like the wires, one of those things,
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: if you were, if you were a fan of like
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: good storytelling, TV, anything period, like you need to watch it.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: It's just one of the things you got to watch.
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: I think Sopranos is in that list, uh, breaking bad
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: stuff like that. But the, the difference for the, for
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: the wire is like, you have to understand like this
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: show won no awards, like very few people even realize
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: the fuck that it was like really on TV. Like it's,
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: the crazy thing about it is a lot of people
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: didn't even really know it existed until, uh, the same
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: team got together and they wrote a limited mini series called, uh,
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: what was it? We own the night. And it was
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: big because John Bernthal was in it. And everybody was like,
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: Holy shit. Cause Bernthal was on his, was on his good.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: He's still on a good run. What the fuck am
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: I saying? But the wire is there's no bad season.
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: There's no fat to trim. Everybody plays a perfectly good
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: fucking role. It's realistic. It's, I tell you right now,
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: season four, and this is just me, season four in
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: my book goes down as one of the best seasons
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: of television ever made at all, period. I'd probably put
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: it in the top three. Just trust me. And the
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: thing is, this is where Idris Elba got his start.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: This is the first time that a lot of people
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: ever got to see. There's certain people that were on
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: this show, whether it's For two seconds or like five seconds,
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: it ended up becoming huge fucking stars later on in
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: their own right. There's a lot of... But the thing is,
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: if you watch that show, it is absolutely fucking criminal.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: If you ever sit down to do it, keep in
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: mind that there was not one fucking award won for
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: any episode of that show at all, ever. Pablo Shriver
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: got his start in the show. Season two of The
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: Wire is... People completely hate on it because the shift
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: goes totally from hand-to-hand drug dealers, streets of Baltimore cops
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: to the docs. And it switches to how docs become
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: a part of the corruption and everything else. But I,
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: it's the only, it's probably the only show in the
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: history of the world that I will tell anybody. It's like, Oh, it's,
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: I think the wire is the greatest television show ever made.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: I can't say it enough. It's amazing. It's absolutely fucking amazing.
• 59:19
  Speaker 4: That was awesome.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: That's fair. All right.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: Well, um, does, uh, do either of you, uh, Augie,
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: I know you try.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: I have nothing, man.
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: I think just by general capitulation, I think Jabo has
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: to win this one. I couldn't find any hole to
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: poke in that.
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: Like none.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: That's fair, that's fair.
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: I don't even care if I lost that one, if
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: it gets you to watch that show. Michael B. Jordan's
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: on that fucking show, and he's like, what, 14 in it? Oh, shit.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: That is a wild pick. Just for the curious, my
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: answer would have been Clue.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, great. Multiple endings.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: Because the first time I saw it was the VHS version,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: which had all the endings on it. And I refused
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: to watch it any other way. I get that it
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: was randomized for people, and that was a cool idea
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: at the time. But I genuinely love the multiple ending option.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: I had never seen that in a movie ever.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: So cool.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: And every time I thought it was over, I'm like,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: there's more?
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: It was such a ride when I was a kid.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: I absolutely adore that movie, and that's one of my
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: favorite endings of all time.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 7: 100%.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: Tim Curry, by the way. Tim Curry! My God, acting
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: is awesome.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: Lost yet another legend.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: Love that dude ever since The Worst Witch. Talking about
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: who's a balk like fucking what, 10 years old in
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: that movie?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: Jesus.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: All right, so Jabba has two points. Stevie has one.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: The final game's going to determine it. We're going to
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: play the dumpster fire for three episode points. And we're
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: going to play that right after this.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 11: If you're into recreational cannabis and are in Lewiston, New York,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 11: near the Tuscarora Native Reservation, check out Weedstock. These guys
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 11: have the prime herb. On top of that, they have concentrates, vapes, edibles,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 11: practically anything you want. So go hit up Weedstock in Lewiston,
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 11: New York. Tell them BFYTW sent you.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: Hey, man. Welcome back.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: It's time for Game 3. Game 3 is the dumpster fire.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give our players five categories, and all
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: they have to do is tell me something in that
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: category they'd like to see removed from society forever. I
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: will pick which one I think actually does need to go,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: and then the first player to win three categories wins
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: the game and earns three episode points. Now, because there
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: are three of you in five categories, there is a
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: possibility it could end in a tie.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: If it does, the tied players will both get two
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: points each. Oh, okay.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: Since there's only one mathematical way that can happen, two, two,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: and one.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: So.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Stevie, you're just going to have to trust me
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: on that.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: Okay. What? What is he talking about?
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: So, let's get started with our first category, Cozy. What
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: about cozy things would you like to see removed from
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: society forever? Augie, I'll give you the option because you
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: haven't won a game yet. Do you want to go
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: first or do you want to make one of these
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: idiots go first?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 4: I can go first.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, thank you for the compliment.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: You're still very special.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: So.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: When you think cozy, the first thing you think of
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 4: is typically blankets.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, and BT-dubs because we're already running long. I'm giving
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: you a 20-second limit.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 4: Blanket sense is next to a fire. I feel like
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 4: cozy is stereotyped because cozy to someone like Stevie is
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 4: like ripping a demon off the head of a... You know,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 4: ripping a head off the head of a.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: Off a demon. Off a demon. Thank you.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 4: Gave me a time limit and I can't speak any time.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 3: Okay. Very good. All right.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: Who wants to go next, Stevie or Jabba? Stevie, you
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: have fewer points than Jabba. Do you want to go first?
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: Sure, I'll go next.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, Stevie, go ahead. You got 20 seconds, and go.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 6: We don't get the buffs that we do in games
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 6: that say, like, when you're cozy, you get, like, well-fed,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 6: or you get warm, you get, like, extra HP, or
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 6: you cure all your wounds or some shit, or you
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 6: get stronger just by chilling on a couch for a
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 6: couple seconds.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: That.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: That's what's bullshit about fucking being cozy. It's all a lie.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: There is no cozy.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: I still feel pretty good after being cozy. Okay, and
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: last but not least, Jabo, what about being cozy or
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: cozy things would you like to throw into a dumpster
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: fire forever, starting now?
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: I know that's probably the worst thing. It's a universe
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: that doesn't work for anybody at all, period, but I
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: don't know. I can't think of anything cozy. Maybe I
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: don't I'm not, cause like, I guess I could say
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: like online ordering, but I don't know if that's really
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: a cozy thing. More of a comfort thing.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: Comfort's cozy.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: Online ordering.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: Does that work?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: It works.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get rid of that though. Cause
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: I'm lazy as hell and I love it. Um, what, uh,
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: so what else do I have left to choose from?
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: Uh, cozy me.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: Cozy me.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: Cozy Stevie. I would never get rid of you.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 4: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: I think I'm going to go with Augie on this one.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: Um, just because, um, uh, it, it spoke to me.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 5: Uh, all right.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: So, uh, Augie takes first point. Uh, let's move on.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: Our next category is apples and cinnamon specifically together. What
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: about apples and cinnamon would you throw into a dumpster fire?
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: And this time we're going to start with Stevie.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: Cool. That they're sometimes served cold.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 6: They should always be served hot together, as in like
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 6: a mold-spiced drink. And it should be all the time,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 6: not just during fall harvest times.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: That's it. Okay, that's interesting.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: That you don't like them served cold at all.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's interesting.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: Still have six seconds. Yeah. He's just like, I'm done.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: All right. Jabo, next. You're up.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: They should be confined strictly to baked goods. Everything else,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: like no drinks, no, oh, we have this fucking apple frappe. No,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: fuck all that. It has to... Pie, cobbler... empanadas. Empanadas. Yes.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: It's the only way it has to happen. Not sliced
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: up and served with a fucking happy meal. None of that.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: I don't even want to see it sitting around the
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: house as a decoration or, oh, it makes the house
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: smell good.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: Alright, Augie, you're next.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: Too crunchy. Too crunchy. Yeah, when you add cinnamon to apple.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: apple not normally crunchy, that texture can be kind of.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: Like the grittiness?
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: Cinnamon grittiness. Interesting.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: This is surprisingly tough, but I think I almost have
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: to go. I think I have to go with Jabba
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: on this one.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: Because 100%. Like, the only non-baked good apple cinnamon thing
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: I can think of that I don't hate... is apple
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: cinnamon Cheerios. And even then, even then it's not the
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: greatest application, but I actually do like that cereal.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: Um, all right. So, uh, that is a point to
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: Jabba one point to Augie. We're going to move on
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: to our third, uh, possible topic. And that is Angelina Jolie. No,
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know what made me pick these. Um, what
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: about Angelina Jolie? Would you throw into a dumpster fire
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: this time? Starting with Jabba go.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 3: Her brad pitt association everything just kind of seems to
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: go downhill from there.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: I mean you're not wrong yeah you're not wrong.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: I mean i'm even because like even even the billy
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: bob drinking each other's blood and like fucking the limo
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: thing was like it's okay like brad was just bad Yeah.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: All right, Brad.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: Next up is Augie. Augie, what about Angelina Jolie? Would
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: you throw her into a dumpster fire?
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: Go ahead.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 10: That she agreed to film Wanted.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: A lot of Wanted hate lately. Just that one?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: We have been dumping on Wanted a lot lately.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know why.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 4: I haven't even watched it in forever.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: It's like Piers Morgan. Every now and then, you just
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: got to take a dump on it.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: Well, he does like it, so.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: I need to be in the room to defend that
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: movie's honor. It's trash, but it's my trash, God damn it.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: That's fair.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: Stevie, your last.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: Her dreads in Gone in 60 Seconds. Holy fuck.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 6: What the fuck was with her hair? Who made that
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 6: fucking choice? That was the dumbest shit ever.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 3: Have you seen that movie, though?
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: What the fuck? I know, but I could deal with
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: the movie. Those things are a fucking distraction. Time. Yeah.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, don't get me wrong.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: I love Memphis Reigns as much as the next guy,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: but there are several other choices in that movie that
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: were way worse than her drink yeah.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: That was the most distracting to me um.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: This is again tough i mean yeah i think the
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: billy bob thornton thing was honestly weirder than brad pitt but.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: It was weird but it wasn't like but the thing.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: Got weird when you learned that he couldn't recognize faces
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: so i'm like You're literally with one of the most
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: recognizable women in the world, and you can accidentally confuse
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: her for someone else? Like, I just didn't get it.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: What are you mad for?
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: Like, it's good for her because she used to be the.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: Hottest chick he's ran into all the time. The inability
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: to recognize faces. I think I have to give this
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: one to Augie because, yes, her choice to be in
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: Wanted was a poor one. Just to continue dunking on Wanted.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: Why do we hate Wanted so bad? I know it's Wanted.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: Literally no reason.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: It's a Nickelback theory.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: It's just come up. Alright, that's two points to Augie,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: one to Jabba. We're going to move on to category
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: number four. Having a non-stoner friend. What about being a
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: stoner and having a non-stoner friend is dumpster fire worthy.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: And I was a little bit worried about this one,
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: that it might open a bucket of worms specifically for myself.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: But I'm also kind of curious to hear what you
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: guys come up with. So, Augie, this time we're going
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: to start with you.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 4: Being, like, too repellent.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 10: Like, I'm always worried that I'm either giving off a
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 10: certain scent or when I'm smoking, like, a vape, or
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 10: if I go out and smoke or whatever, that I
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 10: might be dragging that smell around.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: Now, that's interesting to me because I have been in
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: rooms where the scent of weed has been just really
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: hard to deal with.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: Like in here?
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: No, actually. But you guys almost always vape. So it's
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: almost never, I've never smelled anything and gone, ah, those
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: smelly bastards. It just doesn't happen. So I'm like, I don't.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: I don't experience what you're afraid of, is I guess
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: what I'm trying to say.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: It's our vice to enjoy. Yeah.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 4: If you don't want to, we're not going to force
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 4: you or third party you.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: Well, that's delightful. Thank you for that. Let's move on.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: 20 seconds. Stevie, what about having a non-stoner friend? Would
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: you throw him into a dumpster fire and go?
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 6: That we feel that sometimes you feel left out or
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 6: we feel bad that you feel left out because you're
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 6: not enjoying the same type of thing we are sometimes. Hey,
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 6: we're all going to go smoke. And it's like, okay,
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 6: you're in the living room by yourself. Or something like that.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 6: It bothers me more, I think, than anything.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: We do it. Obviously, we're not going to smoke in
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: front of you.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: So, when I quit smoking, there was a lot of that.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: There was a lot of me being left behind in rooms.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: But I look at this the same way in that
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: it's just not something I do.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: That's it. That's all there is to it. And so...
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: It doesn't bother me. I feel bad that it bothers you.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: It might bother me.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: I just don't want you to feel excluded.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: I'm trying my best to let you know that it's
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: perfectly fine. I'm absolutely comfortable just not doing that thing.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: That's all.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: Third and finally, Jabba, what about having a non-stoner friend
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: would you throw into a dumpster fire?
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: Not a fucking thing. Not a fucking thing, man. Most
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: of the people I know have at one point in
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: time tried it. If they don't want to do it,
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: they don't want to do it. But the thing is,
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: like I said, most people I know tried it. The
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 3: only people that I really don't give a shit about
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: how they feel about it are my parents. My parents
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: are like, oh, what's it like? They've never been stoned.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: But no, it takes all types, dude. I don't force
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: smell on you. I don't ask you to do a
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: bunch of shit. If you ever want to try it
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: every once in a while, knock yourself the fuck out.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: There's no part of my life that's ever inconvenienced by
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: having a non-stoner friend. Nothing at all.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: Well, I have to throw something in, so I can't
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: choose Jabba. And I think of the two other options,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: the one that I feel I would most like to
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: be rid of is Stevie's. Because I think the idea
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 2: that you might be concerned that I'm being excluded. I
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: don't want you to feel that way. I really wish
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 2: you wouldn't. And I can't make you, you know, because
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: you're right. Because we're friends and we want to keep
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: being friends. We want our friends to be comfortable with
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: all the things we're doing at all times and don't
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: want anyone to feel excluded, which is a natural thing.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: So I get it, but don't. And like I said,
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: the smell thing, I've never noticed, so I can't really
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: throw that away because it's never been a problem with
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: you guys. It honestly hasn't been a problem since college.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: College is when it was bad. Yeah.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: Dirt weed.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. This is awful. It smelled like such ass.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: All right, so two points to Augie, one point to Stevie,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: one point to Jabo. So this is going to end
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 2: in a tie. Which two players are going to get
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: the two points? Or Augie could actually take the third,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: the final one, and just take it all. Let's take
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: a look at our final category, which, as always, is
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: the wild card. So you will have 20 seconds to
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: pick anything. Absolutely anything that you could throw into the
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: dumpster fire and have it never having existed is fine. However,
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 2: we do have some rules on the wild card. You
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: can't just pick something that has been picked before. So
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: things like American health insurance, Hitler, Nazis, fascism, all that
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: stuff out the window. It's low hanging fruit and it's
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 2: been done. Pedophilia too, all that nasty shit. It's already gone.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: So you got to be a little creative and just
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: pick something that really irritates you. Maybe something that happened recently.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: We will start this time with Stevie. Stevie, what of
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: anything would you like to throw into a dumpster fire?
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 6: The way, right before you're about to throw out your back,
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 6: that twinge pain you get, instead of that horrible pain
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 6: right before your whole back's about to be fucked for
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 6: the week or whatever and shit, instead of that sharp
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 6: and dull somehow at the same fucking time, it tickles instead.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: So at least when you know.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 6: It's like, okay, I can at least laugh about this
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 6: shit now because I ain't going to.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: Be able to do nothing.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: That's fucking funny. Okay. Jabba, what of anything would you
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: like to throw into a dumpster fire?
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: Social media.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah. Yep.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 3: I know it's probably one of the most common things
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 3: that people talk about, but like, it's so weird that
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 3: there's a lot of shit that we're not geared up
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 3: for anyways. And I think that it may have been,
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's a terrible thing. I still don't
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 3: think it is. I'm just like everything. I think we're,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 3: taking it people take advantages of the loopholes and all
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 3: that good shit like we can survive without it like
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 3: the internet nope we can keep that that's cool that's
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 3: too much of a step back but social media get
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 3: rid of all social.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: Media time nice alright last but not least Augie what
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: of anything would you like to throw into a dumpster fire.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 4: The fact that we have our pastries all plastic bagged
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 4: we should just bring back bakeries yeah wasting plastic I
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 4: know it might seem a little too little too late
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 4: with the whole anti-plastic thing But it just seems like
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 4: such a waste individually plastic wrapping each pastry in a box.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: You don't think about it, but it's true. You don't
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: think about it.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, we absolutely should bring back bakeries and let
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: them do their fucking thing.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: I'm in.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 2: I fucking love bakeries.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, man.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: Why are we plastic bagging shit from halfway across the country?
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: Because we're fucking lazy.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: God damn it.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: It's cheaper.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: God damn it. Okay, so all of these things I
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: absolutely adore. However, in this case, I simply must give
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: the point to Jabo because social media is evil and
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: I hate it.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: And it is required to help me make money. But
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: at the same time, I fucking hate it. I wish
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: I didn't have to book tours. I wish I could
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: just do I wish I could somehow get the clout
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: to do book tours and just be ferried around the
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: country and sign sell books. but sadly that is not
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: a thing and the only way it could be is
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: if I go viral and that would require social media
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 2: so fucking Christ we're back to the beginning alright so
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: that means two categories apiece Augie and Jabo get two
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 2: episode points apiece which means the scores are zero for
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 2: Stevie three for Augie but Jabo has won the episode
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: with four episode points.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: Damn Augie taking it away.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: Uh, you won game two and tied game three. That's
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: how a motherfucker, um, well done.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 3: Well done.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: Uh, thanks again for being here, Jabba. We always love
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 2: having you on, um, tell our people in case they
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: don't already know about mashed potatoes.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 3: Mashed potatoes was a fantastic idea. Um, that I think
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 3: we had been kicking around for like 9,000 years and
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 3: it still hasn't completely come together. But the concept was, um,
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 3: it's kind of just like a hangout lounge like all
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 3: the all the guys that we podcast with whether it's
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: like me and stevie or augie and me or augie
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: and stevie or just kind of like people just hanging
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: out and just like talking shit in this one room
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 3: and just having like a talk session and it's kind
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 3: of like you're just mashing up a bunch of guys
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 3: from different podcasts doing a show together like in real
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 3: time i thought it was a kind of cool idea
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 3: it's kind of like just having a bunch of you
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 3: know a guitarist from this band and a drummer from
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 3: this band and another drummer from this band he's like
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 3: hey what are you doing thursday nothing i'm sitting in
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: a room and jam it's like oh fuck yeah.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: Cool right jam session and shit is.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 3: That this kind of session podcast so there's episodes it's
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: i love it.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 6: It's going it's random as fuck yes it's insanely random.
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: It's random But I, you know, I sometimes dig that, man.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: Heck yeah.
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 2: All right. So do you have like a social media
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: handle that you want people to be able to reach
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 2: you somewhere?
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 3: I'm in the same place. Well, actually, I probably need
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 3: to get better at that part. It's on X or Twitter.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 3: I'd still refer to it as Twitter. it's what is
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: it add on oh is it at underscore oh no
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 3: it's oh underscore that underscore jabbo i have to remember that.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah look up proper rumpus man you'll find this.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah just the word i hate to say it but
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 3: i'm like proper rumpus so google the jabbo you'll find
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 3: every place that i land and i say and do
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: the same shit everywhere Except for Twitter. I'm very huge
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 3: on waking up and trying to be positive on Twitter because,
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 3: like I said, social media is a really dark place occasionally,
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 3: but people can't stop.
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, right. Yeah.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: And you can follow me on social media at Pants
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: to Siren.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 9: You can follow Stevie at Midnight Smoke.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: You can follow Augie at AugieDoggie08. You can follow the
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: show at BFYTW Podcast. You can send us emails at
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 2: BFYTWPodcast at gmail.com. If we like your email, we'll read
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 2: it out loud. If we don't like your email, we'll
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: read it out loud and make fun of you. You
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: can also follow my brother at Kerosene Letter. He did
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 2: our music for this and most other episodes of the show.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 2: You can check us out on our website, bfytwpod.com. You'll
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: find links to us and all the cool things our
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: friends are doing. And hopefully a soon-to-be-revamped author page for
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 2: yours truly. You can also go check out our Patreon, patreon.com
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: slash bfytw. You can follow us for free. It doesn't
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: cost anything. You still get a whole mess of extra
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: bonus material. Lots of behind-the-scenes stuff. There's even a full
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: video episode of Beperty. You can only see the video
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 2: episodes if you're a Patreon member. Unless you just follow,
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: then you get this one for free.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 2: However, if you do want to join the ranks of
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: such elite legends on this list, it's just $ 5. It's
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: only one tier. It's $ 5 a month. We don't ask
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: for a lot. And you'll join such legends as Mexican,
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 2: Colin and Donna Maggs, Justin B, Kristen F, David A, 8-Bit,
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 2: Bridget from Long Island, David M, Aaron R, Jeff from EF,
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: The Gate Leapers, Bill M, Crunchy, The Man, The Myth,
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 2: The Bellend, DJ Xanthus, Crystal D, 2F Jeff, Matt, Native Pixie,
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 2: Julie from Running Wheels with Hamsters, Damn It Stevie, Running
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 2: the Hamster Wheel, and of course, John and Diane, Stevie's parents.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: Hi mom, hi dad. Love you.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: It's so sweet. Thank you so much for all your
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 2: continued support. We will continue to keep making BFYTW the
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 2: best we can with all your help and appreciation. And
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 2: we are just so endlessly grateful. But that is going
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 2: to be it from us. And why?
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 8: Because fuck you, that's why.