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From Darkness to Verse: The Rooted Soul's Honest Night · The Rooted Soul Podcast

• 0:01
  Good evening, and welcome to the Rooted Soul podcast. TheRootedSoulBooks.com
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  is the website where there's a link to buy the book on Amazon.
• 0:09
  There's other websites and other areas you can buy it from with WH Smith,
• 0:13
  Waterstones, et cetera, e-book, paperback. Paperback is $9.99 UK and Ireland.
• 0:19
  Alan at TheRootedSoulBooks.com is where you can email me, and thank you.
• 0:23
  I've had another few emails this week, which I hope I've responded to.
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  I am on anything from what you the content on social media to your own poems
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  or anything you read on this podcast I'll get to that in a second in terms of
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  future plans and add on mcdonaldiory is the instagram handle,
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  so I decided to record this evening I don't know how long this podcast will be,
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  but it's very interesting you
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  know because I've had a lot of people again contacting me recently about,
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  you know how they felt very connected to the rooted soul a journey from struggle to joy,
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  their own darkness that they've gone through or are going through and as i've said before it's very,
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  it's great when somebody says that it's more it's to me it's it's so humbling
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  and so heartening when someone comes at you with a line or two of poetry that
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  you've written that really hits them you know the one there this week was,
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  again was if you want me to seek forgiveness allow me commit the sin,
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  which can be used for all kinds of ills i guess in our lives.
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  But I think a lot of times you write something like this, and I talk about closing
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  it off, but the second one being written, it seems like everything's sorted
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  and everything's fixed.
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  I went through hell and came out of the other side.
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  I'm very grateful to family and friends and colleagues and my manager and everybody,
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  who stood by me during what was a very difficult period with insomnia and everything
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  that all it was and what it could have become,
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  something so much darker and the therapist Chris Howes is just a great man as
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  well as a great therapist and you know this week.
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  I had a really down time and I thought I can't talk about openness and honesty,
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  and not be open and honest with these things and it wasn't a really dark period,
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  I started to struggle with sleep,
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  again now had a great night sleep last night I was feeling down and then as
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  you can probably hear the last few weeks I've just been fairly croaky,
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  and it was like a lot of things were coming on top of work exams the book all
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  of these positive things but there was a lot going on and then I'm writing a
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  lot of poetry and trying to figure out where that all needs to go and then these
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  podcasts and all of it's amazing,
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  but I took a few days of step back from everybody.
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  I was able to work from home this week anyway, but I had to just put the engines
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  back to neutral. And I want to say this to anyone struggling out there.
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  Most of us have ended up in that dark cave.
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  How dark? We all know how bad that can get, but they're all different shades of black or dark.
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  And just because we come out of it, it doesn't mean we can't venture some way
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  back in there again. But you stick at it, guys.
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  The tools that I've learned through Chris to have in my life means if I ever
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  venture into that dark cave again or pull back into it, I know the way out.
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  Which means we all have peaks in life, which I hope are only ever higher.
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  But those troughs get shallower, or at least they're easier to climb.
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  It's like mental fitness, right? Physical fitness. It's easier to climb when
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  you're fit. It's easier. The more you do it, the more you try.
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  And I hope this hits somebody out there, you know?
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  Life is not a straight line. And we can have all the tools in the world.
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  Sometimes life will just lay you a little bit lower than you were before or
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  a lot lower than you were before.
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  But as I've learned now, the hard way, but also it was how I had to learn it, does get better.
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  Keep fighting, keep going. And that's the most important thing that you can do.
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  I'm going to read a poem in a
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  minute. I'm taking a slightly different direction of poetry at the moment.
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  As I was saying to you guys, everything is fodder now. Once you switch that
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  on for a poem, I'm seeing a pot noodle over there in the corner unopened.
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  There might be a poem like that that'll actually be, you know,
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  symbolism for something else. Who knows?
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  Then I wrote a war poem. Before all of that, some updates. So the publisher is hard at work.
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  How we're going to revamp the website. I've been reaching out all over the place
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  to see if anyone wants to interview me.
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  And today, a fairly high-profile social media influencer, but a good guy,
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  came back immediately to a message from me.
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  So he'll be on this podcast in due course. I'll say you'll find out later on who it is.
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  And I want to try and get guests on. As I say, the first question should always
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  be, what's your poetry? What's your passion, your go-to?
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  And actually, this week, writing poetry, I'm going back.
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  And reading over some of the stuff I've written and published was very cathartic
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  and helpful for me in just a period where I was very, very tired.
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  So a little over-emotional and a bit down. And it was only a few days.
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  But it just really, I felt like I should put that out there to people.
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  When I say I'm closing off the first collection, I really mean the talk about what I went through.
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  Because I do think, and again, I don't know anything, So you don't take this
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  as any kind of expertise. But I mean, when I first went into this therapy,
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  this therapist, it was a year and a half ago. Jesus.
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  It was two years ago, I mean. The first thing he said was, I mean,
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  what do you want out of this? And I said, well, no offense, but if we're still
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  sitting here in two years talking about the same issues, we failed.
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  And he started laughing. He goes, I get where you're going. I said,
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  I don't want to be that person that's coming in, talking about somebody running on the red light.
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  And that set me back into that. And these things can happen,
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  but I was like, I want the tools to be able to do that, you know.
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  So then we can start talking about my fetishes and the secret sex life and stuff.
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  I think you have to have a sex life before you can have a secret one but anyway.
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  RTE Radio contacted, a researcher on RTE Radio. So I'm talking to them tomorrow
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  about doing an interview on the business, which is a Saturday show,
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  which I hope comes to fruition. It will be absolutely wonderful.
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  There was a researcher on Arena of RTE. I won't name her. I don't think it's fair.
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  But I want to share, if anyone knows her, just to thank her because it didn't
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  really fit the show what they wanted. But she was, oh, listen,
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  reach out to these people.
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  And before I sent the email she had reached out herself to a friend of hers,
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  on another show who reached out to me and I just think those things are wonderful,
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  those kind of you know the actual I can't help you here but let me reach out
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  to someone who might be able to help you and that really boosted me when I was
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  starting to feel better after a good night's sleep it was wonderful to get that
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  message towards the end of work today,
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  so seeing as this whole thing is about poetry I'm going to take a sip of coffee And this,
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  I'm not sure if this is finished or not.
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  Excuse me. So I'm going to give it a go. Sorry for coughing there.
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  Killing Time Do other soldiers think like me before they kill a combatant?
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  Is life a wife, his family?
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  Or do they not seem sentient?
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  Warm light bathes farmhouse porch, rocking chair just beyond its reach.
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  Homely feel belies the scorching of this loved one I'm about to reap.
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  Laying here with pain inside, can't move among the brush.
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  Fear and sick rise in my throat, seeing the candle I have to snuff.
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  He strikes the smoke and smiles as though he isn't about to die.
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  I know that grin, brief respite within, time off from war's full cry.
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  Talk of war, those who battle with jaw, are the ones who call sacrifice great.
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  Try losing friends who made their ends Saving you and your mates From the broken
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  mother, sibling or lover On whose heartbreak war depends My hand it trembles
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  at the man who resembles Many of my kin,
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  Could be my comrade Or maybe he has those who would take this bullet for him,
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  He falls slowly from my duty Now no way to ever know Who hears the cry of the
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  loved one's sacrifice for the greater good, we're told.
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  So I was a foray into war poetry. I've often, when I was younger,
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  I loved reading about wars and the kind of geopolitical situation that would
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  bring them about, or even with civil wars,
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  what was going on in the country to bring brother against brother, etc.
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  And the tactical side of it and all of that. And as I get older,
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  it becomes much more about the individual stories, you know,
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  of the people who actually have to fight the wars.
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  You know, as I talk about, jaw, jaw, not war, war, which is what that jawline is about.
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  And Shelby Foote, as I keep talking about the Civil War books that he wrote,
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  he goes from that point of getting right down into the drummer void,
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  the Civil War, you know, the story.
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  Because there's a life and loved ones behind each weapon.
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  Man or woman they all have a story they all have someone who'll miss them,
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  And it got me thinking, I'm not sure why. I'll put this up on social media tonight, actually.
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  I'm not sure. This is one of those poems where I think I might add to it or I might not.
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  Please, for anyone who's listening, do reach out to me and let me know what you think.
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  And then going back to what I talked about earlier, you know,
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  I'm going to read a poem from book one.
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  Confusions. Frustrating what I'm going through.
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  Confusing to explain. Oh Lord, if they only knew, but no crying or complaint.
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  Portraying I is simple fry for so long it did stunt. My ability to share and
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  cry while others bore the brunt.
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  Lightly in a bottle, most fleeting in my strife. Flashes of that happy feel
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  Little respite in my life,
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  Many happy times I had But faded just for now No sleep came first And then the
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  bursts But partly I'll must bow Out from all past boom and bust Serenity to allow,
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  I was thinking about that poem Earlier this week When I was with Fiddling Grey
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  I'm reminding myself How quickly,
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  Into phase three In the first book It becomes,
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  It becomes something much more positive you know.
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  Wounded scars here's one when your wound becomes a scar the lesson can help you heal,
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  the trouble caused and kinship pause when not on even keel,
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  forgive yourself and ask the same without expecting closure then move along
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  knowing right from wrong and rekindling your composure so it's good it's been
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  good over the last few weeks to take this pick up this book and read it again,
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  so i'm so i'm genuinely humbled there's no ego to it when people say that this
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  book has helped them or connected or resonated with them or,
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  you know made them feel seen and just know that arrogant as it might sound it
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  doesn't mean it i don't mean it that way i'm delving back in this.
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  To remind me listen you're having a bit of a down time a bit of a blah moment,
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  you'll be fine you step back where you need to step back and this is really
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  important guys you step back where you need to step back for as long as you need,
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  because the people who love you they'll understand they'll always understand
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  and they'll be there for you I just wanted to read one more poem maybe two.
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  Before we go off, this is from Thomas Moore. The Last Rose of Summer. He's read 1805.
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  Tis the last rose of summer, left blooming alone. All her lovely companions are faded and gone.
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  No flower of her kindred, no rosebud is nigh. To reflect back her blushes, or give sigh for sigh.
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  I'll not leave thee, thou lone one, to pine on the stem. Since the lovely are
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  sleeping, go sleep thou with them.
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  Thus kindly I scatter thy leaves o'er her bed, where thy mates of the garden lie scentless and dead.
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  So soon may I follow when friendships decay, and from love's shining circle thy gems drop away.
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  When true hearts lie withered and fond ones are flown, oh, who would inhabit this bleak world alone?
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  Sorry for the little blips there guys the the far page was a little too far
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  from the reading lamp light there so I apologize for that,
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  that's a beautiful poem, this book is I would recommend it, I mean I got this
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  second hand A Thousand Years of Poetry The Living Tradition from Pagan Times
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  to the Voices of the 21st Century edited by Andrew Paget P-A-G-E-T-T,
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  I mean I think I got this for tenner, it's so,
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  it really is fantastic Fantastic.
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  Here's another one. Ah, I like you. There's more.
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  Before sleep. It is time for bed. The cups and sauces are gathered,
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  and stacked in the kitchen, the tray settled.
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  With your tablets, a glass, a small jug of orange. Are the windows shut and
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  are all the doors locked?
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  I pass to the desk in my room and stand a minute, looking down the notes I made this morning.
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  Yes, tomorrow it might do to begin, thunder whispers far off among my papers.
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  The wall opposite is blank but alive, standing water over sunken currents.
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  The currents pursue their slow eddies through the house, scarcely loosening
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  as yet the objects of our love.
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  Soon the falls will thunder, our love's detritus, slide across the brim seriation
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  glittering, and vanish, swallowed into that insane white roar,
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  chaos, all battered, scattered.
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  Yes, in the morning I will put on the canaract, give it veins,
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  clutching hands, the short streak of thought.
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  I just found that one randomly right now in that book. I'm not sure how I feel
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  about it, but it's an interesting poem.
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  I don't know who wrote it. It doesn't say.
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  Maybe I'll find out in Credito later on. So I hope you got something from this this evening.
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  Whether it's the war poem, whether it's, listen, we all have up and down times
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  and it's about sometimes stepping back and having self-care.
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  But I think it's important because we all have struggles from time to time.
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  And I don't like the idea of people thinking, I'm saying, you know,
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  well, I mean, the book is done and published and I'm closing that second.
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  It is, as I say, you know, it's an everyday pursuit.
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  Contentment and happiness. And yep, we are very responsible for that ourselves.
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  But also sometimes we need our external factors to be there for us as well.
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  So lean on people, you know, loved ones every now and then that would lean on,
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  that you would want actually to lean on you.
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  So I'll leave it there, guys. Have a good night. It is theroodedsoulbooks.com.
• 15:29
  Alam at theruletsoulbooks.com at alamcdonald i-r-e is the Instagram handle I really again,
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  cherish those who reach out and comment reach out and tell me about a poem they've
• 15:42
  read or one that they've written or whatever it is guys that content is always very very welcome,
• 15:48
  and I mean this tonight more than any point since I started the podcast better living within.