Latest / Voices for Voices® / I Spoke To A Firefighter About Mental Health | Episode 168

Transcript

I Spoke To A Firefighter About Mental Health | Episode 168 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I am founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, justin Allen Hayes.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you for all the love and support you've given us now in our fourth season of our TV show and podcast, of our TV show and podcast.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: If you're able to, if you can hit that like button, share, follow, comment, that can help us get closer to the pretty big goal I have of trying to help 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: And we are a nonprofit, so we operate on donations and sponsorships.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: So, if you're able to, you can head over to Venmo, voices for Voices, or you can go to lovevoicesorg to help us continue to bring great quality content and great quality guests to us.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So this show is going to be one of two, the first of two episodes we're going to be doing, and I'm very excited to have this conversation and have you hear and listen to this conversation.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Very inspiring story An individual who is a first responder just outside of Dallas, texas.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: He is a firefighter of 22 plus years.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: His goal is to help anyone that wants to be a better version of themselves, and he is the man behind the brand Life Warrior United.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So, without further ado, we're going to welcome to our show Mr Mark McAdams.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: No, I'm glad to be here, man.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I appreciate the opportunity to tell my story and tell a little bit about how I got here.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Maybe we'll start on the career side of things, individuals who may have an interest in being a firefighter, a first responder, how did that start for you?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: And then, what type of qualifications do an individual need to do to be a firefighter?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: It's an interesting story for me.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I graduated with a degree in exercise science from Abilene Christian University and I was a baseball player in college and that's what I thought I was going to do the rest of my life.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: But obviously God had other plans for me.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: But so I got out of that and was in the fitness industry around Dallas, fort Worth area and and realized after a few years that, you know, the gym business can be a shady business and really was not what I was looking for to help people.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Just so happens, there was a young guy there that was a part time trainer, but he was a full time firefighter in Grand Prairie, texas, which is not far from where I was working in Dallas, and he kept telling me hey, you need to go be a firefighter.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: When I you know my head, I was like you know, I'm, I didn't graduate, I didn't go to college to be a firefighter, you know.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: And so it was after a few short months, me, I'm an outside guy and I was training this lady.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: It was like noon in March and the night weather was nice and I'm like man, I should be fishing or something.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: And uh, you know, and I was training this lady.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I'm staring outside this whole time and literally, when I got through training that lady, I walked to the front counter and I said, hey, I quit, I'm out.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: And um, and it was surprised everybody, of course, because I had quite a few clients and I literally I called my wife and I said, hey, I'm going to the fire academy, I'm going to pay my $1,700 and I'm going to fire school.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: And that's how it happened and I started fire school that very next day and that was in 1997.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: And 1998, I had my first job as a firefighter.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: So it kind of happened all fast for me and but it was the absolute best choice.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I realize now you get people put in your path that sometimes it helped guide you where you're supposed to be and and that's where I was supposed to be, and so that's how I got started for me.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I have I help.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I talk to kids all the time.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Now People call me about the fire service and you're like you know how do we get started?
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: They want to know the true lowdown of the fire service.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: And you're like you know how do we get started?
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: They want to know the true low down of the fire service.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, there's a lot of people that will, um, won't, won't, give you the whole truth about the fire department and and me, I'm not that person.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I want you, I want a kid going into the fire service to know exactly what he's getting into, or he or she's getting into um, and so it's.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Things have changed a lot now.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: There are I have three of my friends, guys I work with who have a fire cat.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: They work at a fire academy where you do all of your qualification, your book work, all your tests and all that stuff online at your pace, and so all of the book work and stuff is done that way.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: And then when you get to the part where you actually got to do the skills, you got to go to their place.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: It's set up just like a fire station.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: You live there like a firefighter.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You go to the store, you clean the station, you clean the rigs, you you do all the things just like if you were working at a fire station, including learning how to pull hose correctly, how to load hose correctly, how to get your gear on right, how to wear it correctly, smoke reading all of the things the skills you need to be a firefighter are done in a two or three week period now on the campus after you do your book work.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: It's actually a pretty I think is a pretty cool thing, because there are a lot of people out there that that that have.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: You know you can't.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Just like me, I went to fire academy for months.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I never I didn't have a job.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It was a struggle.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Went to fire academy for months I never I didn't have a job.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: It was a struggle.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Uh so my wife had to support us and to while I finished fire school and and uh so, but now you can actually work and still go to fire academy, which is a great thing.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Um and so the base if you look at the cities that now here around d-Fort Worth and I'm sure it's different around Cleveland and other places but when you go test in a position, most of the time the city will ask you to be fire certified already, so you have to have gone through academy stuff already.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: They'd like you to be EMT certified already, which at most fire academies they do those two things fire EMT.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: When you get hired by a city, if they require you to be a paramedic, they'll send you to paramedic school and pay you to do that, and that's what happened with me.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I got my first job at a city that that wasn't required paramedic and I worked for two years and then I got a job at a different city and they paid for me and paid me to go through paramedic school for six months or however long it was.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: So fire certifications, emt certification If you're a paramedic right now, if you're a fire EMT and medic and you've, you're almost a shoe hand, because these cities need people and unfortunately, in the service industry, where people serve others, things have gotten rough.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to attribute that to.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of diving into that with my Life Warrior stuff, talking to other firefighters around the country.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: You know to see what, what, what to attribute that to?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Um, but it's a generational thing for sure.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: And you know, when I went and tested first time I started testing I went to I remember going to uh, garland, texas, here I was testing for four positions and there were 2,800 guys there testing.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: And now, like at the city, at University Park, when I went to take that test, there were four or five hundred testing for three or four positions and now they are literally having to send out letters to people and just saying put in an application and then we'll look at your um resume and then we'll have you come interview.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: So they're not even having to, they're not even having to take a test because they can't get enough people to show up for the test.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: It's a, it's a weird dynamic now, um, and like I said I, it's a generational thing.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I haven't quite figured it out.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: But services is, service has gotten the will to to give service has gotten gotten worse.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Um, so definitely things have changed in that sense.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: But but, man, they need them.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: They need good firefighters, they need good medics and people who actually care about their job and care about helping other people.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so, along those lines, what's kept you in right, so you talked about there's such a need for individuals in that service industry, and what's kept you alive in that industry and wanting to continue?
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: So I want to say first of all that I did retire from the fire service, but I was in for the 22 years that I was in and what got me out was physical stuff.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: It was it's a physically demanding job.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: I had two back surgeries while I was in.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I have nerve damage still in my left leg and I mean there and so, and physically, I knew as a firefighter I couldn't perform the job that I needed to perform and there was always a chance that something was going to happen.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: And so I was.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Actually, I was injured, I was man.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: It was a crazy set of events.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I was man, it was a crazy set of events and, like I said, you know, I feel like God makes things happen to kind of open your eyes sometimes.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: But I was off.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I had a nerve issue in my right leg, had dropped foot.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: While I was off, waiting for surgery for that, I was in a major car wreck and so I had more back injuries and back issues from that and while I was off, my my time period came and my my birthday came and it was like I could retire with full benefits and stuff right now and or I could go back, and there was a list of things that had happened physically there in a two or three year period, and I was like, you know, I think somebody's trying to tell me something that maybe, maybe you should let the younger guys come in and take care of it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: So that's what I did, but I stayed in longer than than and I had, and it's because I loved it.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: You know, if you talk to any firefighter that stays that long, my whole identity was that that's what I was.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, we were trench rescue, high-angle rescue, hazardous materials the things that they ask of firefighters now is insane.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Uh, the the medical things that we were doing.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Uh, rapid sequence, inhibition stuff.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: I mean things that you would normally have to go to nursing school and being at work.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: And you know, for a while it's like no, we're going to teach you this right now and go.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And so that was my whole identity, was that team atmosphere.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I played sports my whole life and, man, it was just that brotherhood.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: There was this brotherhood of it, and so that's what I identified as, and I always tell people when I go to my grave a firefighter is what I'll be, no matter when that is.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: And so firefighting is a there's.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: You either love it or you hate it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: And I I loved it.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: And if I thought I could physically do it, I've thought several times like hey, let's saddle up and and go back and and do it again, and uh, but, um, it's a dangerous job too.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: You know, there were, uh, were, I had my incidences, like my wife said you, you, you pushed the envelope enough, you had your incidences where there were close calls could have been, you know, and so let's, let's not, let's not push it anymore, um, and so that's that's what kept me in was just the love of the service and being a firefighter, right, the way people treated you and talked to you and saw you, and it was just a pride thing.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: So that's what kept me in and usually that's what keeps most firefighters in longer than they should be kept me in, and usually that's what keeps most firefighters in longer than they should be.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and, and that profession I you almost call it like a vocation it's.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like you said, there's, you know, a higher power that's guiding along along the way, and when you're talking about, like you said, all the different certifications, all the different things that you have to go to nursing school and and we're kind of thrown in and it's like okay, here we're just going to add this kind of to our tool belt, and it's really a calling, like you said.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: It's you love it or you hate it, and just that feeling.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I guess could you explain the feeling of helping others.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: You know, kind of like what your core is.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've always been, which is kind of the reason I started this whole brand of mine in the first place.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: For some reason, I've always been that person that people on the street, people in a bar, people in a restaurant, they come and if, for some reason, they'll tell me their whole life story and you can tell they're needing some sort of help.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Whatever that help is right, and so I've always been that way.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I was kind of that.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I was that way in baseball, you know.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: I was kind of that fiery leader type that you know, whoever I was playing against, they were my enemy that day, no matter if we were friends or not, you know.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: And um, but just that, there's nothing to me there's no better feeling in the world than to actually help somebody who truly needs it and see the the gratitude on their face and hear it in their voice.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Um, so one of the coolest things that happened was my kids, and this kind of tells why I do it or I did it.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: My kids were younger.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: They went to a Catholic school here in town and one day I was taking, I took them to school, and this was away from the city I worked in and I took him to school in my uniform because I'd just gotten off of work and walked in and this lady comes to me and she says Mark McAdams, lieutenant McAdams, and I was like yes, ma'am.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: And she's like do you remember me?
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: And I was like no, ma'am.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: And she's like do you remember me?
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: And I was like no, ma'am, I don't guess I do.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: And.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: And she's.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: And she said this is I can't remember her daughter's name.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: This is my daughter.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: She's in first grade here now.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: We just moved in, got her first grade.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: You showed up at my house and saved her she was not breathing, uh, and you know we were trying to get her back.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: You showed up at my house as a medic in university park and and brought her back to life.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: And now here she is.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh yeah, and so it still gives me chills.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: You know, you're like, okay, that's.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: You're like okay, that's.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: You're like wow, that's why I do this.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: There's somebody still walking this earth and getting to enjoy the life they should have gotten to enjoy, because me and my brothers were there when they needed us and we were good at what we did, and so for me, that's that's all that matters.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: The money, you know, firefighting, you're never going to get rich.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: That's not the point of being a firefighter at all, but it didn't matter to me.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: That was the reason, and so that's what.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: And every one of us they won't all of them are tough guys.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: They won't always admit it, but that's what drives most of them is that chance to do that and get that life-saving award.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's really the emotional side of being a human, not just the physical side of what needs to be done in in that realm.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Having you know that, that mental side of like like that higher calling, like this, is why.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: This is why and and sometimes there can be a period of time in between those and we can start to question you know different things, you know, you know mentally like, okay, am I where I need to be and why isn't this working out?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: And this kind of leads into the next topic, as we we start to wrap up this episode and then we'll continue in.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: The second is trauma, and people can experience trauma from all kinds of things, and being a firefighter, being in that line of business, is no exception.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Can you share how you were introduced to trauma and then how that kind of became another starting point to where you are today?
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: So it literally started for me two weeks into the job as a firefighter.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: My very first CPR I ever did was on a three-month-old.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: And I was just an EMT, still green, just started, had practiced on dolls and never really on a human three-month-old.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: And I'm listening to the medics tell me what to do to helping me out and I'm bagging and, and ended up we get to the hospital and baby didn't make it, and so to have to hear the screams of that mom and dad was, I was like man, this is, this was not something I really.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Here I was, I'm going to be a firefighter, I'm going to go fight fire, I'm going to save people from fires and do this stuff.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: The realization that wait a minute, I'm going to this is I'm going to see this too, and that was the first time.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Two weeks into my job I thought, oh man, what have I gotten myself into?
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: And so it started right away.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't know it at the time, but even that call would come back years and years and years and years later would come back years and years and years and years later.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: And so my first two years on the job, that city I worked in in East Dallas, oh man, I saw a lot of that kind of stuff, and so that is the other part of the job that I try to explain to young kids when they're getting in, like, hey, this is, you're going to love your job, there's going to be brotherhood, you're going to get to do cool man stuff, you're going to go fight fire and you know, you're going to cut cars open and you're going to do all kinds of stuff, yeah, but you're also going to see some things you never wanted to see in your whole life and you'll never forget.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: And so it's just part of it.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: And I don't know again if that's part of the reason that services dropped, and you know, because that is a realization of it, I don't know.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: But that's how, that's how the job began for me, for me, and uh, and so you see, you realize, unless you're in certain parts of the city, you know, every city has its parts that are not that great, and some that are better, and some of those you're going to find a lot of the parts that aren't, but you're going to find a lot of fire in you're't, but you're going to find a lot of fire in.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You're going to go.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: You know, get to do it, get to perfect your craft.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Some cities you know that aren't that way, but 100 percent you're going to make medical calls that is the fire service, for sure, and majority of calls you make are going to be that.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: And so just things have changed, firefighting has changed, and so the trauma part is it just goes hand in hand.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know, speaking from my experience with experiences many years ago, that kind of subconsciously were still there and it was almost like a stack and abdominals where it was like, okay, I'm just, I'm going to continue on, I'm going to continue on.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I had I had my crash and ended up in the psych ward for five days where I was able to really just start at ground zero and just talk about, oh my gosh, I wrote down 138 different things over the course of my life.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Up to that point I was like, okay, they have different relationships and decisions and and things.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, like I didn't realize there was that inside of me and all these years, that's, that's what I was holding.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: And then you have the day-to-day of like, what am I gonna do today, how's work and how am I gonna survive as a human being?
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: And I think that that for me, it was.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: It was truly healing and in the sense of, okay, I need to, you know, put the ego aside.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: And you know I there, you know there's certain things I can kind of, you know, get through, man up whatever you want to call it.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: But then there's others.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: It's like you know what, I have emotions and there are things I I just need to talk to somebody right, and I yeah, it comes to that realization, right, and I, you know mine, like I said it, and we can talk about this, you know, a little bit in the next episode too.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: But, um, you know, mine drug out over years and, and the old school fire department way was, hey, just keep your mouth shut.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: You know, don't be a sissy, just take it and move on.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: And and man, I, you know the, the dreams, the night, the nightmares, the sleepless nights, years on end, trying to keep it in, not say nothing to anybody.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: You know, because you didn't want to be viewed as that weak guy.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: And now you know, to that point I'm an officer too, and so now I'm thinking I can't let that be known for the guys that I'm working with.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: That that's actually affected me.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I can't, you know.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: And the realization you know, I made a lot of calls on men who made that ultimate wrong, last choice, and I always tell people the fire department broke me but it also saved me Because I went on calls with those men who made that ultimate wrong choice and I would read those notes and it would infuriate me because they would talk about oh my kid, your kids, you're better off without me and your life's going to be better without me and all these things.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: And it would infuriate me and I'd be like man what a coward.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Why would you put that on your kids.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: How could you do that?
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: I'd be like man what a coward.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Why would you put that on your kids?
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Well, how could you do that, you know?
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: And as time went on and I'm going through my own stuff and it cost me almost everything, including my life, and almost caught, I mean, I had that moment of not wanting to be here anymore and not wanting to do this anymore.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: And sitting on a couch in a one-bedroom apartment after losing my marriage and the whole thing, and with 45 on my lap saying that's it, I'm done.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: And then that realization hit me like wait a minute again.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Somebody like knocking hey, you remember all that stuff you used to say, remember how, you know infuriated that made you.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: You got kids too.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: Man, you know, get up.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: And this is where this came from.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Get your ass up, put your feet on the floor and go do life for your stuff.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: This you know, that's what this is and you know.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: And go handle your business, take care of your kids, whatever.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: And so that instance in the fire department saved me, it broke me and it saved me at the same time and um and so, yeah, that's where this whole whole thing came from.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: And and there's so many men and women out there fire service, police, ems you know nurses, doctors that they go through the same thing and and you know they make that ultimate wrong choice because they can't see past that, that darkness that they're in at the moment.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being so transparent.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know it's for me, it's not easy to you know, talk and share, but it's helpful because I know you know, with the audience we reach across all the platforms there's going to be at least one person that's going to identify exactly with your story and that might be that daughter that you helped save and now is alive and well, and that might bring this person back from whatever they were thinking at the time.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: We hit the time for the first episode, so we'll come back with Mark for our second episode and we want to thank you, our viewers, our listeners, for joining us on this episode with Mark McAdams.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: It's been very powerful.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Come back next week for part two, where we'll continue talking about trauma, the Life Warrior brand and how Mark is truly just being that advocate for as many people as he can.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: So until next time, I am Justin Allen Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, and until then, please be a voice for you or somebody in need.