Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #177 Poppy Has Arrived!

Transcript

#177 Poppy Has Arrived! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

0:00
Speaker 1: Something that's just come to my attention that I think
0:02
Speaker 1: that the general public should know.
0:04
Speaker 2: Go on.
0:05
Speaker 1: China confirms new virus outbreak after man eats bird.
0:09
Speaker 2: Come.
0:16
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on with mine.
0:17
Speaker 2: We all have moments where we're just a little bit
0:19
Speaker 2: curious sexy. Welcome back to two Doting Dads. Thanks you
0:41
Speaker 2: do the intro.
0:41
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two How do you do it? Welcome
0:44
Speaker 1: back to two Doting dads. I am Maddie j I'm ash. Yeah. Nah,
0:51
Speaker 1: he sounds to be husky and sexy to be me. Okay,
0:53
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two Doting dads. Okay you want to
0:58
Speaker 1: rest that? Well, just how many times you want to
0:59
Speaker 1: say I'm ash? I met a jay And there's a
1:03
Speaker 1: podcast all about parenting.
1:05
Speaker 2: It's good, the bad, and the relatable.
1:07
Speaker 1: Nailed it. We don't give advice.
1:09
Speaker 2: I've got laryngitis.
1:11
Speaker 1: You just have made up laryngitis.
1:13
Speaker 2: I've got laryngitis?
1:14
Speaker 1: Or how who diagnosed you?
1:16
Speaker 2: Google? Just googled it? Just then, Yeah, there's like some
1:18
Speaker 2: of them in my parents.
1:19
Speaker 1: I diagnosed.
1:21
Speaker 2: Dude. It's the newborn phase has hit me hard.
1:24
Speaker 1: It's meant to be screaming at you, not.
1:27
Speaker 2: A combination of no sleep, screaming at the kids. God them,
1:31
Speaker 2: I'm tired. You look shut up.
1:34
Speaker 1: No, like you still look great, but you look like
1:36
Speaker 1: you're tired. Like you can see in your eyes that
1:39
Speaker 1: you need a good rest.
1:41
Speaker 2: Just add that to the list of things never to
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Speaker 2: say to all parents. Oh fuck, yes.
1:47
Speaker 1: You look ship.
1:49
Speaker 2: We are. I would like to apologize for the state
1:52
Speaker 2: of the voice. I like it.
1:53
Speaker 1: I told you that I like you, husky, thank you,
1:55
Speaker 1: I do.
1:56
Speaker 2: I want to talk to a trady. When I dropped
2:01
Speaker 2: off Marley at school, I was.
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Speaker 1: Like, yeah, yeah, they were all like, talk like that
2:07
Speaker 1: because they have industrial definis and yeah, ash.
2:12
Speaker 2: We will get into a little update on Poppy. Oh yes,
2:16
Speaker 2: a little story about the birth. Before we do that,
2:19
Speaker 2: it would be remiss of us not to talk about housekeeping.
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Speaker 1: Yes, housekeeping. I'll start if you're like, please really quickly.
2:26
Speaker 1: Based off the chat a couple of weeks ago, the
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Speaker 1: Lauingderie chat.
2:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh did they all arrive?
2:32
Speaker 1: They did all arrive, and they look great on me.
2:37
Speaker 1: People people want to know. People want to know where
2:39
Speaker 1: I shot up. They want recommendations, which I don't. It's
2:44
Speaker 1: not that special. How am I now this nation is specialist.
2:51
Speaker 1: I'm just waiting to get a bunch of PR baggages
2:53
Speaker 1: and was raising that of me. Actually, if you want to.
2:58
Speaker 2: Could you imagine if you picked up a lingerie sponsor?
3:01
Speaker 1: That would be ideal if anyone's got a small business.
3:07
Speaker 1: So people have asked for recommendations, I'll just rail them
3:10
Speaker 1: off what I think.
3:11
Speaker 2: We've got a list.
3:12
Speaker 1: I got three that Jesus only only have three because.
3:18
Speaker 2: Given the economy going for small businesses.
3:21
Speaker 1: I scrambled. Remember I was scrambling because nothing was arriving.
3:25
Speaker 1: Loungewear is a classic. I've used that before.
3:29
Speaker 2: Can we have like some sexy music underneath this? Yes?
3:32
Speaker 1: Please?
3:32
Speaker 2: Okay start now.
3:35
Speaker 1: Loungewear, that's a great one. How did you find be
3:39
Speaker 1: mindful man? Shopping for lingerie? Though it can lead to
3:42
Speaker 1: a lot of other different situations in that moment, you
3:46
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. Okay, hang on that time
3:49
Speaker 1: that you said to me, have you ever looked have
3:51
Speaker 1: you ever looked at lauderie and iconic? I'm just saying
4:00
Speaker 1: do it in private, That's all I'm saying.
4:03
Speaker 2: The status as at jiu jitsu when you're sitting there
4:07
Speaker 2: on your phone in the car.
4:11
Speaker 1: Lounge is a good one. There's Layson, Lush, Layson, last Lust,
4:17
Speaker 1: last how do you know? Look it up? Hang on again.
4:20
Speaker 1: You should only do this in private, because I will
4:23
Speaker 1: say they do have they do how to pick models?
4:26
Speaker 2: Sorry, Lays and Lush.
4:28
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm thinking about it anyway. And lastly, Honey Burdett. Honey,
4:34
Speaker 1: that's a that's an actual store.
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Speaker 2: What are the others? Physical? Physical?
4:39
Speaker 1: That's a physical you go into the store.
4:41
Speaker 2: I did on this occasion, parking around the back or whatever.
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Speaker 1: I was in a big shopping center, so then I
4:45
Speaker 1: had to leave the shopping center with the bag. That's
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Speaker 1: a Honeyburdet. And I was like, yeah, it makes.
4:49
Speaker 2: You hold for God's sake, turn your fucking phone off.
4:52
Speaker 2: Why did that? I don't put it on airplane mate,
4:57
Speaker 2: Come on.
4:57
Speaker 1: Big guy, Sorry, come on, sorry, sorry what it was.
5:00
Speaker 2: And we're flowing, we're having a good time, we're talking.
5:03
Speaker 1: About years, we're burning.
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Speaker 2: That was her.
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Speaker 1: She was like what color tonight? She was like yeah,
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Speaker 1: So I had to walk back. I had Macy with
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Speaker 1: me when I picked it up, so I was like,
5:20
Speaker 1: you may just carry this anyway. That's where I get
5:26
Speaker 1: it from. But there are endless options. How do I know?
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Speaker 2: Don't you worry?
5:31
Speaker 1: But again, do it in private? Well together?
5:34
Speaker 2: Love that love that.
5:36
Speaker 1: Excuse me quick, Siggy Bray.
5:43
Speaker 2: Whilst you're buying lingerie, I'm out here buying fucking baby products.
5:47
Speaker 1: We live very different lives now.
5:50
Speaker 2: It's hard for us to relate.
5:51
Speaker 1: I know I can't relate.
5:52
Speaker 2: I never felt so separated from you in all my life.
5:54
Speaker 1: No, I haven't seen you at ages too, so I've grown.
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Speaker 2: I've not. I put a post in the Facebook group
6:03
Speaker 2: which was very exciting, on par with lingerie, and I asked,
6:08
Speaker 2: does anyone have any recommendations for a car seat mirror? Fuck?
6:14
Speaker 2: That's where I'm at right now.
6:16
Speaker 1: Your voice, I can't take you seriously? So like I
6:21
Speaker 1: get so that you can because they got to sit backwards. Now, see,
6:23
Speaker 1: I'm so far ahead of that and in a different
6:25
Speaker 1: life stage that you. What I recall is the initially
6:30
Speaker 1: the seat goes backwards, which they hate majority of the time.
6:33
Speaker 1: Not a fan, they're not a fan. And then you
6:35
Speaker 1: get a mirror so you can see them from your
6:37
Speaker 1: rearview mirror. So it's what I like to call the link,
6:40
Speaker 1: the link of mirroring.
6:42
Speaker 2: It's made that up very good.
6:43
Speaker 1: Put it on.
6:45
Speaker 2: But the issue is with the mirror. If you're driving,
6:48
Speaker 2: you can't drive and shoulder check with the mirror because
6:53
Speaker 2: the mirror is on.
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Speaker 1: The especially if you had a bad night's sleep the
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Speaker 1: night before neck which is very often, which for me
6:59
Speaker 1: that I couldn't do that.
7:00
Speaker 2: And if you're doing a long trip on a highway,
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Speaker 2: you know you're going one hundred kilometers an hour hour,
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Speaker 2: you don't want to risk life and limb to check
7:06
Speaker 2: on the baby. So what do you do? What do
7:09
Speaker 2: you do as a parent?
7:11
Speaker 1: What was the answer? Just tell me spit it out. Cameras,
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Speaker 1: cameras like a reverse camera. The baby shouldn't be back there. Started.
7:22
Speaker 2: People are like you can get like the sixty bucks.
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Speaker 2: You get a camera that has a little cord plugs
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Speaker 2: into the cigarette lighter in the car, and you get
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Speaker 2: a monitor that suctions onto the windscreen and you can
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Speaker 2: position the little camera like any which way you want cameras.
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Speaker 2: It's only like size of a fifty cent piece and
7:39
Speaker 2: it straps around the headrests.
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Speaker 1: Around their head like a go pro we go pro.
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Speaker 2: The baby sixty bucks and has night vision, so if
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Speaker 2: you're driving at nighttime, you get a clear picture. Wow, dude,
7:52
Speaker 2: the future is here.
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Speaker 1: Have you got it?
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Speaker 2: It's in the car?
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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. You have to show me afterwards. But like,
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Speaker 1: that's amazing. So you could get up to no good
8:01
Speaker 1: with that night vision.
8:04
Speaker 2: April's in the back of the car and laundry.
8:08
Speaker 1: Wow, we've really come a long way, dude.
8:11
Speaker 2: Flying cars. I thought we'd be there a cover boards sure,
8:14
Speaker 2: even better than that. Cameras HD cameras in the car.
8:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're just live footage. Genius.
8:21
Speaker 2: Sixty bucks, bro, that'll be the best sixty bucks you
8:24
Speaker 2: ever spent.
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Speaker 1: The future.
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Speaker 2: The future?
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Speaker 1: What are they going to think of next? That's what
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Speaker 1: I want to know.
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Speaker 2: Housekeeping done? That's it finished, nice and tidy. Oh shit,
8:35
Speaker 2: before I do that housekeeping, Not before I do that,
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Speaker 2: ash I do you want to mention a very special
8:41
Speaker 2: listener to the podcast. Her name is Donna. She's been
8:43
Speaker 2: with us for all whiles. We love a support. She's
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Speaker 2: a lifer and a Dodor Hello, Donna, Dotor first life
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Speaker 2: a second. Wow, she has sent me a gift that's rare.
8:52
Speaker 2: Dotor first and some little ones is here? What does
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Speaker 2: that one say?
9:00
Speaker 1: Can to fit me? That's for the baby, My mummy
9:04
Speaker 1: does not want your advice. Very good.
9:07
Speaker 2: Daddy thinks he's funny, very offensive.
9:09
Speaker 1: That's kind of offensive.
9:13
Speaker 2: But Donna very kind. She gave us little care package
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Speaker 2: included in that with some gent which Laura loves so wow.
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Speaker 2: Menos as well, and she didn't want you to be upset,
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Speaker 2: so she has gotten you a gift.
9:23
Speaker 1: No oh, that's awesome.
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Speaker 2: Little bottle open and hearing. That is so cool you, Donna,
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Speaker 2: thank you so much, extremely kind gift, very much appreciated.
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Speaker 1: But the viewers at home, that's awesome. Actually I do
9:37
Speaker 1: need any one of those because the other one I
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Speaker 1: had broke.
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Speaker 2: Do you know what any more of bottle open gives
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Speaker 2: from the listeners? If anyone has any lingerie used, send
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Speaker 2: it in used.
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Speaker 1: The new stuff. I want nothing of it, the new stuff.
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Speaker 2: So that's houiving.
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Speaker 1: Thank you, Donad. I appreciate that. Let's let's get on
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Speaker 1: to the big question of the day is how is
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Speaker 1: pop and congratulations.
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Speaker 2: Poppy is she's good. She's good. She is good, she
10:07
Speaker 2: is good. So here's the full name, Poppy Pearl Johnson.
10:12
Speaker 2: So this means that you do not have to go
10:15
Speaker 2: do the gym with April.
10:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, but April has to come to the wavepool with me.
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Speaker 1: Oh really, she's forgotten. Really, I do recall, brilliant. I
10:24
Speaker 1: just remember just now.
10:26
Speaker 2: Actually, fuck, that reminds me. Okay, before we leave, I
10:29
Speaker 2: have to do the birth certificate forms. They're upstairs. They
10:33
Speaker 2: gave it to me. Now, I do not lose this.
10:35
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm pretty sure they're upstairs on the
10:37
Speaker 2: bedside table with the insurance. So it's actually it's not official,
10:41
Speaker 2: it's not official. But we have been calling a Poppy.
10:43
Speaker 2: I think the name will stay.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, and I like it.
10:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll keep it. No, Poppy is good. We have
10:51
Speaker 2: had two pretty rough nights. Rough nights, are not sleeping. Also,
10:57
Speaker 2: I think I think I forget what it was like
11:01
Speaker 2: with a newborn. Like I'm trying to go back into
11:04
Speaker 2: my photo album back in twenty nineteen, back in twenty
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Speaker 2: twenty one, and I'm like, was it the same as
11:09
Speaker 2: what it is right now? But we've had an amazing
11:13
Speaker 2: couple of weeks. We've had the honeymoon period with Poppy.
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Speaker 2: Everyone's just it's exciting, it's great. We had a week
11:21
Speaker 2: in a la dullah not worrying about work. I feel
11:26
Speaker 2: like it's starting to like we're starting to really feel
11:29
Speaker 2: like we're in the trenches now.
11:30
Speaker 1: Okay, Like, what's changed do you think?
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Speaker 2: Well, just initially the kids were super excited, they were pumped.
11:37
Speaker 2: You loved it, Lola, We've got an issue at the moment,
11:42
Speaker 2: and it's the fact that Lola is she's getting a
11:45
Speaker 2: little bit jealous.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well you when last week sort of you're worried
11:49
Speaker 1: about that.
11:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, because she's very mum orientated and she would wake
11:53
Speaker 2: up normally go straight to bed with Mum. I stopped
11:56
Speaker 2: that because Laura wants a little sleep in because she's
11:58
Speaker 2: been up all night with a baby. Yeah, okay, And
12:01
Speaker 2: Lola hates me as well most of the time, and
12:04
Speaker 2: she's always like you're always holding her, aren't you. Laura
12:08
Speaker 2: was like, what do you mean's head? Lola was like,
12:13
Speaker 2: you just he's always in your arms.
12:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, she's not gonna get up and walk away.
12:20
Speaker 2: She's a bit like she's always just here doing nothing.
12:25
Speaker 2: And it's hard as well because Poppy is sleeping. You're like,
12:28
Speaker 2: everone be quiet around the house. Oh yeah, and she'll
12:30
Speaker 2: try and like pad of face and like, if you
12:32
Speaker 2: want a pat of face, you gotta wash your hands first,
12:34
Speaker 2: and she's like, fuck.
12:35
Speaker 1: Hell, all these fucking rules and so as well.
12:39
Speaker 2: I don't I can't tell if she's actually unwell, but
12:44
Speaker 2: Lola she keeps saying like I've got a saw tummy, like.
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Speaker 1: Oh the phantom sickness and yeah.
12:50
Speaker 2: Throughout the night and she's like, oh, my tummy is
12:52
Speaker 2: really sore and my legs really sore. My leg and
12:55
Speaker 2: I'm like is it? Is it really so? And she
12:59
Speaker 2: just wants attention and Laura pandas to it and I'm like,
13:02
Speaker 2: prove it.
13:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm saying with my kids because like they don't
13:06
Speaker 1: want to eat dinner, Oscar will be like, I've got
13:08
Speaker 1: to saw tummy, and then Macey you'll promptly say yeah,
13:10
Speaker 1: I've gotta saw tummy too, like brullshit.
13:14
Speaker 2: Bullshit, And at the moment, that's what we're dealing with.
13:17
Speaker 2: So like, Lowell is just up and it's just constantly
13:20
Speaker 2: like I'm in bed with her and then she's like
13:23
Speaker 2: hanging a second, you suck, where's mum? And then she
13:25
Speaker 2: comes into our bed and I try and then put
13:27
Speaker 2: it back into her bed and she just she's finding
13:30
Speaker 2: it really hard at the moment because I.
13:31
Speaker 1: Told you that story that I saw that video of
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Speaker 1: that nonverbal kid like he was obviously on the spectrum nonverbal,
13:37
Speaker 1: meeting his little sister for the first time, has never
13:39
Speaker 1: said a word holding the baby, and at the start
13:42
Speaker 1: of the video you're like, oh, this is Reallytifu and
13:44
Speaker 1: he's looking very lovingly and he just goes bitch and
13:48
Speaker 1: hands it back.
13:52
Speaker 2: It's where that's like where we're out right, yeah, because.
13:54
Speaker 1: You know, like the like their brain capacity only sees themselves.
13:58
Speaker 1: It's all me, me, me, me me, which is you know,
14:01
Speaker 1: and you try and teach that about life, that it's
14:03
Speaker 1: not always just about you but.
14:05
Speaker 2: What's wild And obviously you look at what's the name again, Macy?
14:14
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this friendship is really getting becoming really hard.
14:19
Speaker 1: Shaking the table, this is becoming really hard. You don't
14:22
Speaker 1: save my wife's phone numbers, you don't remember any birthdays.
14:25
Speaker 2: Oh I don't.
14:27
Speaker 1: Remember anything, and now you've forgotten my fucking child's name.
14:32
Speaker 1: That's the last straw.
14:34
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry you go me. But I always saw
14:39
Speaker 2: Lola as being the baby. Obviously, which one's Lola again?
14:43
Speaker 2: Very good, thank you, very good, And just instantly as
14:46
Speaker 2: soon as Poppy arrives, Lola has just shot up, like
14:50
Speaker 2: she's just grown up instantly. It is wild how much
14:54
Speaker 2: I look at Lola is no longer a baby, but
14:56
Speaker 2: as a little girl.
14:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was like even now I I think about it. Well,
15:01
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago we went on cruises and
15:03
Speaker 1: stuff together. She was just like a like her amazing,
15:05
Speaker 1: we just like toddlers. Yeah, yeah, like Macy's up to
15:08
Speaker 1: my hip now now Laula's.
15:10
Speaker 2: Doing makeup in the morning and on dates. Got picked
15:13
Speaker 2: up this morning by some boy going a daycare. What
15:17
Speaker 2: are you before?
15:20
Speaker 1: Have you started the potty train poppy yet? Oh? Yeah,
15:23
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure we get ahead of that.
15:25
Speaker 2: But it all went pretty well with birth. Birth was good.
15:28
Speaker 2: We were induced. It was pre planned, which was great
15:30
Speaker 2: because you can like it's all premeditated. The kids went
15:34
Speaker 2: to my sisters, it was all organized. We had Laura's
15:37
Speaker 2: sister was with us in the delivery room. We went
15:40
Speaker 2: in I'm dirty, to the hospital and it's all would
15:44
Speaker 2: have been nice to had that moment of surprise, I thought,
15:47
Speaker 2: rather than be induced. But after we got in there,
15:51
Speaker 2: you know, there's like it's a slow process to begin with,
15:54
Speaker 2: and no one's rushing anyone, And there's a little kitchenette
15:57
Speaker 2: in the hospital and I would go there and get
16:00
Speaker 2: a cup of coffee. Coffee machine was delicious, and a
16:02
Speaker 2: few coffees, and every kind of second visit, there'd be
16:05
Speaker 2: another dad in the kitchenette. Oh yeah, how you guys
16:10
Speaker 2: going first? And I spoke to one dad and I
16:14
Speaker 2: was like, as your baby arrived, and he said, yeah, yeah,
16:17
Speaker 2: it has And I was like, how did it all go?
16:20
Speaker 2: And he goes, well, it was an It was our
16:22
Speaker 2: third and her waters broke it home and we straight
16:28
Speaker 2: away in the car on the way to hospital. Within
16:31
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes of that water breaking, she was given birth
16:35
Speaker 2: in the car. Wow, pulled over on the road. Done
16:37
Speaker 2: in the car, and I was like, gosh, that to
16:39
Speaker 2: pour upholstery cleaning.
16:44
Speaker 1: I had a maid who his wife's water broke in
16:47
Speaker 1: the living room and he delivered the baby in the
16:49
Speaker 1: living room.
16:51
Speaker 2: I kind of want that, you want you want that
16:53
Speaker 2: like obviously as providing that everything goes well, But that's
16:57
Speaker 2: a good notch on the belt. To be like that
17:01
Speaker 2: was I think I'd be troue.
17:02
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to look at my wife and
17:03
Speaker 1: John all the same. Ever again, Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah,
17:07
Speaker 1: you're right. I like that as horrible as that saying.
17:10
Speaker 2: It'd be worth it, I mean a little cut and
17:11
Speaker 2: I get squeamish. I mean you pass out at the
17:13
Speaker 2: drop of a house. Oh yeah, you'd be no good.
17:17
Speaker 2: It'd be April on her own. So then when I
17:18
Speaker 2: heard that story, I was like, no, maybe it is
17:21
Speaker 2: best that I'm in the delivery suite with the help
17:24
Speaker 2: that we actually need. But we had a lovely midwife
17:27
Speaker 2: and she was just like just the right mix of humor, seriousness.
17:33
Speaker 2: She was very experienced.
17:34
Speaker 1: Any good jokes, but.
17:38
Speaker 2: No, she just we had a playlist and she'd come
17:41
Speaker 2: in and she kind of sing along with some of
17:42
Speaker 2: the songs that we had. Yeah, and she just she
17:46
Speaker 2: just had like a level of calmness that she brought
17:49
Speaker 2: to the room. We knew we're in safe hands.
17:51
Speaker 1: Experience.
17:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, very experienced. Also she was British, and I just
17:55
Speaker 2: find British him. I'm very good. It is good. Yeah,
17:57
Speaker 2: it's great, ten under ten. And then the issue was
18:01
Speaker 2: like Laura had the epidural pretty quickly.
18:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.
18:04
Speaker 2: So the issue was we had the epidural like straight.
18:07
Speaker 1: Away, like that reception, like I told you to literally.
18:11
Speaker 2: Literally, They were like, oh, we wouldn't mind you being
18:13
Speaker 2: an active lab before you get that, and Laura was like, yeah,
18:16
Speaker 2: I'm going to.
18:16
Speaker 1: Stop you right there and you to fucking jab my spine.
18:18
Speaker 2: Literally. Also, we didn't have insurance, so I was like
18:23
Speaker 2: to the inniciatist, I was like, so, I love you's
18:27
Speaker 2: what's your name? And he's like, it's Alan, And I
18:28
Speaker 2: was like, Alan, what's this going to cost me?
18:34
Speaker 1: It's not cheap. It is not cheap.
18:37
Speaker 2: It's not cheap, it's not and he was like, look
18:40
Speaker 2: a few different factors obviously, like depending on how long
18:43
Speaker 2: it goes for and how long I need to need
18:44
Speaker 2: to be on call. But you're looking at about sixteen
18:47
Speaker 2: hundred bucks.
18:49
Speaker 1: How long it goes for, like how long it takes
18:51
Speaker 1: him to do the job, or how long it lasts.
18:53
Speaker 2: Well, if you have a really long labor, he kind
18:55
Speaker 2: of needs to be on call for another one just
18:58
Speaker 2: in case, like anything happens with the epidural, he needs
19:00
Speaker 2: to be like within arms distance.
19:02
Speaker 1: Just that's right. April had to have the double.
19:04
Speaker 2: And also then if he said, if you have a
19:06
Speaker 2: sea section, like an emergency sea section, that's going to
19:09
Speaker 2: cost more as well, and then he was like, and
19:12
Speaker 2: if it's after hours, it's also more in Oh god, well, Laura,
19:16
Speaker 2: make sure we don't have this baby, like beyond eight
19:18
Speaker 2: o'clock PM. Yeah, double rates.
19:20
Speaker 1: I remember Oscar was eleven thirty pm. Right, we had
19:24
Speaker 1: the epidural, then we had the emergency sea section and
19:27
Speaker 1: it was nighttime and he pretty much pretty much cleaned
19:30
Speaker 1: up fifties me wipe you down with his fifty either side.
19:37
Speaker 2: So I was like, they're like doctor, I was like,
19:41
Speaker 2: could you do twelve hundred?
19:44
Speaker 1: You're like, if that's your first best offer, what would
19:46
Speaker 1: be second best off? He's like, I got a friend.
19:47
Speaker 1: He's a car salesman.
19:49
Speaker 2: I was joking. He didn't laugh.
19:51
Speaker 1: I was like, he probably hears it all the time.
19:54
Speaker 2: I don't think he does. I don't think he's ever
19:56
Speaker 2: been barted with in the delivery suite.
19:58
Speaker 1: Can't we talk about cushy job? So like he's got
20:01
Speaker 1: one johnt to it? Really? I think if you're gonna
20:05
Speaker 1: be in the medical profession, that is the job gotta be.
20:09
Speaker 2: I think it's like twelve years of study.
20:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like they're all twelve years, but you
20:13
Speaker 1: don't have to No one's going to come into your
20:15
Speaker 1: office coughing up along and be like, let's rung with me,
20:17
Speaker 1: doc this one. You're like, hey, we need you. Someone
20:21
Speaker 1: needs pain relief, and you're like, yep on the bat
20:23
Speaker 1: phone straight.
20:24
Speaker 2: In at all. Yeah. Essentially, let me defend poor old
20:28
Speaker 2: Allen who put a needle in the spine of my wife,
20:33
Speaker 2: risking potential.
20:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, is that when you said I'll give you twelve
20:36
Speaker 1: hundred and he just like moves it and you hear longer?
20:39
Speaker 1: It was how much? Never mind?
20:43
Speaker 2: So I was keeping tabs on the bill.
20:45
Speaker 1: Okay.
20:46
Speaker 2: Also, because we're private, they brought in lunch and it
20:50
Speaker 2: was a chicken pie, really good chicken pie.
20:53
Speaker 1: Better than yours. Yeah, no, shut up? How much of
20:57
Speaker 1: that guy?
20:57
Speaker 2: And they were like, they were like do you want
20:59
Speaker 2: to And I was like, I'm waiting for the itemized
21:02
Speaker 2: build with like double food. But then when you have
21:08
Speaker 2: an early epidural, it then slows down labor. Yeah, yeah, right, okay.
21:14
Speaker 1: I'm aware.
21:15
Speaker 2: So this beautiful midwife that we had, let's call a
21:18
Speaker 2: Chantelle is she was She's like, hey, guys, she's coming
21:22
Speaker 2: to the room and she's like, you're still you're about
21:24
Speaker 2: six centimeters you're not quite ready. Just to let you
21:28
Speaker 2: guys know, I finished my shift at six pm and
21:32
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay.
21:34
Speaker 1: Laura Harry up.
21:36
Speaker 2: And I was like, we've we spend so long with
21:38
Speaker 2: this beautiful midwife. We built this connection, We've got this energy,
21:42
Speaker 2: she's part of the family, and all of a sudden,
21:44
Speaker 2: now she's going to be gone and I've got this
21:48
Speaker 2: new midwife. And she was like, I could probably stay
21:50
Speaker 2: till six fifteen and then I've really got to go.
21:52
Speaker 2: I've got a dinner date.
21:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I've got a life to get to.
21:55
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I was like, you're not you mean you're
21:57
Speaker 2: not going to be with us forever? Yeah?
21:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're moving in his room, right. I love the
22:02
Speaker 1: thought of that. She finishes a shift with all the
22:04
Speaker 1: other midwives and they're like, go out there Wi cigarette
22:08
Speaker 1: like they all smoke and like, how's your day? Yeah?
22:11
Speaker 2: Yeah good.
22:12
Speaker 1: Another couple fell in love with me, fools, just doing
22:16
Speaker 1: a job.
22:17
Speaker 2: I've seen our midwife from Harley's birth before at the
22:20
Speaker 2: supermarket and I was like hey, and she was like,
22:24
Speaker 2: who the are you?
22:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, they think they're special, they're just another couple.
22:31
Speaker 2: Well, I was I was like, how many burthy was
22:33
Speaker 2: the most about of birth you had in a day,
22:34
Speaker 2: and she was like, my record's three.
22:36
Speaker 1: I was like, far round, that's low numbers. Anything less
22:41
Speaker 1: than five, I'm not interested from the cart I'm talking,
22:45
Speaker 1: I want five to seven of the day.
22:47
Speaker 2: We had the new midwife come in and and she
22:50
Speaker 2: was lovely. She was not as good because we didn't
22:53
Speaker 2: enough time to bond. I was, you know, I was like,
22:56
Speaker 2: where are you from? When did you move here? I
22:59
Speaker 2: was like, she was your fucking business and we've only
23:02
Speaker 2: known each other for about an hour before she goes,
23:05
Speaker 2: it's now time to start pushing, okay. And it was
23:08
Speaker 2: pretty quick and I think one of it for you.
23:13
Speaker 1: God, oh there's mums out there going right now. She'll
23:18
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up.
23:19
Speaker 2: Match from from when Lauris did her first push, it
23:23
Speaker 2: was it was half an hour. Wow, there he is.
23:28
Speaker 1: That is that's pretty fast, I will say, but thank you,
23:32
Speaker 1: like Jess, cut that up and post it online throwaways
23:37
Speaker 1: what you said away, we're pretty quick. So anyway, I
23:40
Speaker 1: was like, whoa who half an hour? I don't know, Like,
23:43
Speaker 1: what's the quickest labor? Do you reckon?
23:45
Speaker 2: What's in fifteen minutes?
23:47
Speaker 1: The girl, well, there's got to be quicker than that.
23:49
Speaker 1: I've done ships that have taken longer than that. Jesus fuck,
23:56
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry, Jess, I'm really sorry. Good
24:01
Speaker 1: can we couldn't google the quickest? Is like, well, then
24:06
Speaker 1: that person's already got the record.
24:07
Speaker 2: I think that guy I wish out his number. I'm like, mate,
24:09
Speaker 2: look the records get in there. It must be fucking fast.
24:12
Speaker 2: Yeah sure, so so then Lauris said.
24:17
Speaker 1: So.
24:18
Speaker 2: Then Laura started pushing and and I think one of
24:21
Speaker 2: the downsides of doing this podcast is the fact that
24:25
Speaker 2: I now know so much more, like I know the
24:28
Speaker 2: things that can go wrong, whereas the first two was
24:31
Speaker 2: really a case of ignorance is bliss and I was
24:33
Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, you know, if anything was
24:36
Speaker 2: to go wrong, it to be fine because I'm in hospital, right,
24:38
Speaker 2: nothing goes wrong in hospital, Whereas I was really anxious
24:41
Speaker 2: about just making sure that bub was going to be
24:43
Speaker 2: okay and Laura was going to be okay. And thankfully,
24:46
Speaker 2: of the three berths, it was the most straightforward. The
24:49
Speaker 2: baby was posterior spine as fine, so I can really
24:54
Speaker 2: do some damage on the way out, because it's not
24:55
Speaker 2: the way you should be moving. The baby, but thankfully
24:59
Speaker 2: all really straightforward.
25:00
Speaker 1: No force, its no suction, nothing, just all no suctions.
25:03
Speaker 2: No, it was great. And then like like Laura one
25:06
Speaker 2: stage was like is the head out? And they're like, yeah,
25:09
Speaker 2: the head's out. And then the obstetrician shout out to Bobby.
25:13
Speaker 2: He was like, do you want to would you like
25:14
Speaker 2: to reach down and you can pull out the baby
25:18
Speaker 2: and and there was a part of me that was
25:20
Speaker 2: like I want to watch this. I did, I couldn't.
25:22
Speaker 2: I couldn't. I couldn't, but yeah, Laura, then you know,
25:25
Speaker 2: once the head is out, it's the rest follows pretty quickly,
25:28
Speaker 2: and Laura them pulled out Poppy and brought her into
25:31
Speaker 2: a chest and it was it was raising. It was
25:34
Speaker 2: pretty cool.
25:34
Speaker 1: Wow, congratulations, thank you. I'm happy that it all went smoothly.
25:38
Speaker 2: And Bobby, our obstetrician, was like, wow, what an umbilical cord.
25:48
Speaker 1: That's beauty one.
25:50
Speaker 2: And Bobby love. I love Bobby and the last birth
25:54
Speaker 2: because he delivered Laura not Marley. But there was one
25:58
Speaker 2: thing that he was like, you've got to do it.
26:00
Speaker 2: You've got to cut the umbilical cord. Oh yeah, And
26:02
Speaker 2: I was like I don't want to and He's like,
26:04
Speaker 2: do it, and I was like, oh, I knew this time.
26:06
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to fight it. I was just going
26:07
Speaker 2: to do it and get it done. So anyway, afterwards,
26:10
Speaker 2: everyone's kind of cleaning up right, and then Bobby comes
26:14
Speaker 2: to me and says, would you like these? And I'm like,
26:18
Speaker 2: do I He's brought me. He let me keep some
26:21
Speaker 2: momentoes from the birth.
26:23
Speaker 1: You don't have any of the bilin good car with you?
26:24
Speaker 1: Do because I don't want to see that. What's in
26:26
Speaker 1: the brown paper bag? Just so everyone listening, Matt's just
26:29
Speaker 1: whipped out of brown paper. If there's a sucking umbilical
26:31
Speaker 1: cord in there, I'm leaving this house.
26:34
Speaker 2: So this is just a little something to remind me
26:37
Speaker 2: of the birth of Poppy. Okay, it's hard, it can't
26:42
Speaker 2: be open it open the brown bag?
26:46
Speaker 1: Oh what is this? Oh my god?
26:55
Speaker 2: So I've got that clamp, the umbilical course got.
26:58
Speaker 1: The umbilical clamp? Oh man, did you put your foury
27:03
Speaker 1: in that? And then this? What's this one? How did
27:07
Speaker 1: you cut with that? I can just see you putting
27:11
Speaker 1: them in your toolbox and using them around there.
27:12
Speaker 2: Oh, that's where they're going for sure.
27:14
Speaker 1: They're pretty oh man, they just have either hospital or
27:23
Speaker 1: horror film vibes about them.
27:25
Speaker 2: So he was like, they actually don't reuse them because
27:29
Speaker 2: it costs so much to disinfect him. So he's like,
27:31
Speaker 2: you can just keep these if you want, because they're
27:32
Speaker 2: going to go in the bin.
27:33
Speaker 1: Well, you just put them in boiling water. Doesn't it
27:34
Speaker 1: just infect it?
27:36
Speaker 2: It's a hospital, bro, Well, what what do you mean?
27:44
Speaker 1: I would just say, chuck me with this rest of
27:46
Speaker 1: the sterilizer stuff. Oh okay, now that you've said that
27:49
Speaker 1: they haven't been sterilized, have you watched them chuck them
27:52
Speaker 1: with this washer? Fine? Don't given back? Well, where's the
27:56
Speaker 1: cutting bit?
27:57
Speaker 2: I thought he gave me those ones.
28:00
Speaker 1: Maybe he's kept him for his personal collection.
28:02
Speaker 2: There you go.
28:03
Speaker 1: That's very cool, but also is it a bit weird?
28:06
Speaker 2: Did you keep anything from your birds?
28:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, the child and the blanket and the blankets, would
28:12
Speaker 1: you like, I definitely don't want that. No, nah, I
28:14
Speaker 1: think we were.
28:15
Speaker 2: Running a competition or two doting dads? Do you want
28:18
Speaker 2: the clamps?
28:19
Speaker 1: Just talking about births, I don't know if I told
28:21
Speaker 1: you the story, and it's similar to what you were saying,
28:23
Speaker 1: like you couldn't look down because it was like, yeah,
28:26
Speaker 1: you just I couldn't do it. I definitely didn't try.
28:29
Speaker 1: So a friend of mine looked down there and got
28:32
Speaker 1: a bit woozy, and he moved himself to the corner
28:36
Speaker 1: of the room to try and recover, and instead of recovering,
28:40
Speaker 1: he actually fainted up against the wall in the corner
28:42
Speaker 1: of the wall, like over there and started to slide
28:45
Speaker 1: down the wall. And the only thing that stopped me
28:48
Speaker 1: from hit the deck is his knees locked out. Anyway,
28:51
Speaker 1: he spent the whole birth there, woke up, and he
28:53
Speaker 1: had a baby. Wow. He tells the story. Hits the
28:58
Speaker 1: wall and just.
28:59
Speaker 2: Like the people think he was just taking five that
29:02
Speaker 2: they know that it was.
29:03
Speaker 1: At the start they were like, oh, okay, he's just
29:06
Speaker 1: trying to tap a moment. Even thinking about it, I
29:09
Speaker 1: feel like I'm gonna find anyway. And then yeah, he
29:12
Speaker 1: just hit the hit the wall and just slid down,
29:15
Speaker 1: and like his wife is saying that, he just you
29:17
Speaker 1: just see him slowly seeping down and then you just
29:20
Speaker 1: stopped moving because he's and then you look at his
29:22
Speaker 1: legs and they were fully his knees were like locked out,
29:27
Speaker 1: which I think is a great story.
29:29
Speaker 2: So good. But yes, and then after that, Laura had
29:31
Speaker 2: a few nights in hospital. I will just say, fucking hell,
29:36
Speaker 2: it is really hard work. We have a newborn, you're
29:40
Speaker 2: in hospital, you bring your kids into the hospital. They
29:43
Speaker 2: don't know like how to treat a child, know.
29:46
Speaker 1: How to treat a hospital. Like seriously, you take him
29:51
Speaker 1: into any medical practice, and all of a sudden, they're like.
29:55
Speaker 2: They're visiting hours at four pm and I snuck him
29:57
Speaker 2: in there early, and they're just like walking around, going
30:00
Speaker 2: into other rooms. Marley's like, this is pretty boring. Put
30:03
Speaker 2: TV on a was like is the coloring in?
30:05
Speaker 1: What's wrong with that person?
30:08
Speaker 2: Now? So I did. I did film when the girls
30:11
Speaker 2: met Poppy for the very first time, and the moment
30:16
Speaker 2: Lola held Pop in her arms, Poppy did a really
30:20
Speaker 2: big ship.
30:22
Speaker 1: Like could you hear like a gurgler?
30:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Lola's like she farted. She just starts
30:28
Speaker 2: laughing hysterically. But it was really sweet. Marley had like
30:31
Speaker 2: eyes closed, sniffing the forehead. But since then Lola was
30:37
Speaker 2: a bit more maternal. Marley's a bit over Poppy these
30:40
Speaker 2: days already.
30:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you do what's that first ship?
30:44
Speaker 2: They do that minocam.
30:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's the manooka. That's the name word maconium macone.
30:54
Speaker 1: It sounds like that instant coffee. What do you call
30:57
Speaker 1: that one? What's that coffee called mc quick, mccona? You
31:03
Speaker 1: just stirring in your teacup.
31:06
Speaker 2: They're very very molasses.
31:09
Speaker 1: That's a fucking great word.
31:10
Speaker 2: Thank you molasses.
31:14
Speaker 1: Anyway, Well, congratulations, thank you, Matt. Last week we spoke
31:18
Speaker 1: about the cat parents that were walking their cats who.
31:22
Speaker 2: We love, we love, shut out to the parents out there.
31:26
Speaker 1: They're all alone there, my guy.
31:28
Speaker 2: Old pets who trolleys or was it baking a baby bed?
31:32
Speaker 1: There was a baby beyond the front mount. That's your
31:35
Speaker 1: exact words, front mount.
31:37
Speaker 2: A front mounted cat.
31:38
Speaker 1: So dumb goodness me, it's kind of my attention that
31:41
Speaker 1: my sister said to me, Oh, we're going to be
31:44
Speaker 1: over in your area next week.
31:46
Speaker 2: I was like, great Northern Beaches, God's country.
31:49
Speaker 1: I was like, great, well for and she was like, oh,
31:50
Speaker 1: we're a house sitting a place at Mana bel beautiful
31:52
Speaker 1: on the beach. Lovely. Yeah, she's great for them, little
31:55
Speaker 1: get away. And we had early dinner with them at
31:58
Speaker 1: a pub near there that has a great playground for
32:00
Speaker 1: the kids, and I was like, what are you doing houseit?
32:04
Speaker 1: What do you houseit for? You can leave a house unattended,
32:07
Speaker 1: you know that.
32:08
Speaker 2: Plants maybe? Nope?
32:10
Speaker 1: Okay, they were pet sitting.
32:13
Speaker 2: Fair you know, we we've got raspberry here sometimes we
32:16
Speaker 2: head out tyler doll. We don't take raspberry with us.
32:18
Speaker 1: Is a fly in the room or is it your
32:20
Speaker 1: pet fly?
32:22
Speaker 2: Don't kill it, which I know you'll.
32:26
Speaker 1: I said, okay, you're pet sitting? What cat?
32:29
Speaker 2: Dog? Nope? No? Lizard? Wow?
32:34
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why what is the correct answer to that?
32:37
Speaker 2: Did you mention what type of lizard it is?
32:40
Speaker 1: Like? I think it was like some sort of beard
32:41
Speaker 1: of dragon if that's cool? Yeah, but like what you
32:44
Speaker 1: don't need? You do not need someone to pet sit
32:49
Speaker 1: your lizard child.
32:51
Speaker 2: Depends on how often the dragon needs the dragon the
32:57
Speaker 2: lizard needs to be fed.
32:58
Speaker 1: Well, surely if they're in the wild, they're not. They
33:02
Speaker 1: don't have a routine.
33:03
Speaker 2: They're not snacking every day.
33:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not, Like, Okay, it was feeding time. It's
33:06
Speaker 1: it's more like whatever I get that day, it's not.
33:09
Speaker 1: There's no consist.
33:10
Speaker 2: So did you see just have to feed it?
33:12
Speaker 1: Apparently?
33:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I mean on that I'm not.
33:16
Speaker 1: I don't get it. But like your question, like, what
33:19
Speaker 1: do you get out of a lizard? I don't know.
33:21
Speaker 1: Can you eat it? I have no idea.
33:23
Speaker 2: Do you do you pat the lizard?
33:25
Speaker 1: You snuggle up against it? Is it a bit of
33:29
Speaker 1: a lat lizard?
33:31
Speaker 2: My biggest fear is having a snake and then like
33:36
Speaker 2: waking up one day and seeing that, like the glass boxes,
33:39
Speaker 2: the snake has gone somewhere.
33:41
Speaker 1: Dude, there was a story kicking around ages ago. I'm
33:43
Speaker 1: not sure if it's just comes up, you know, one
33:45
Speaker 1: of those stories it comes up every couple of years,
33:46
Speaker 1: and this just happened. It is like someone had a
33:49
Speaker 1: pet snake and it they woke, They woke up to
33:52
Speaker 1: it and stretched out, like sizing them up. Yeah. See
33:56
Speaker 1: that's the reaction that everyone gives. So it sizes you
33:59
Speaker 1: up first, and then what it does. It must like
34:02
Speaker 1: do some sort of snake exercises, like some like some
34:06
Speaker 1: crunches to get ready. Yeah, it's like warming up, stretching up.
34:15
Speaker 1: It's literally doing like down with Dogcause doing down with
34:18
Speaker 1: dog like trying to stretch itself out.
34:21
Speaker 2: What are you stretching for?
34:24
Speaker 1: I'm just really into my mobility. Stupid untrustworthy snake. It's like,
34:31
Speaker 1: why would you want to live? Why would you want
34:33
Speaker 1: to have a pet that could kill you? Like people
34:35
Speaker 1: who have pet spiders, but like.
34:37
Speaker 2: Mike Tyson having a tiger though it's.
34:39
Speaker 1: Like it's different, still could be cuddly, sedated, Yeah, I
34:42
Speaker 1: guess like a little baby one little baby tiger.
34:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it wouldn't eat you because it knew
34:47
Speaker 2: that saw you as a parent.
34:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, until maybe it was gaslight in your whole life
34:51
Speaker 1: like the snake and then a downward cat. But anyway,
34:57
Speaker 1: I just thought that's it. To the fact where you
35:00
Speaker 1: have to ask people a favor to house at your
35:03
Speaker 1: house over a lizard is ridiculous.
35:05
Speaker 2: I agree.
35:06
Speaker 1: I think just just give it some food. They're only
35:09
Speaker 1: going for a couple of days, Like, what's going to
35:10
Speaker 1: happen anyway? Moving on, we should move on to a
35:14
Speaker 1: segment called lies.
35:16
Speaker 2: Yes, tell me loud, tell me little loudsh Yes, I
35:27
Speaker 2: have a fantastic parenting lie laid on me. This one
35:31
Speaker 2: is from Casey and this is similar to a lie
35:33
Speaker 2: that we previously told on the podcast where my mom
35:36
Speaker 2: would she had a hack a trick with the PlayStation.
35:41
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right. It's still holidays.
35:43
Speaker 2: This is very similar to this one, but a modern
35:44
Speaker 2: day twist, if you will love it so, Casey says,
35:47
Speaker 2: my five year old step son is obsessed with wanting
35:49
Speaker 2: an iPad, aren't they all? Aren't they all? Casey, You're
35:52
Speaker 2: not alone out there? Just know that.
35:55
Speaker 1: Okay, it's very somber of you.
35:58
Speaker 2: Little does he know we actually have one. Oh. On
36:04
Speaker 2: a recent inter say trip, we let him use it
36:05
Speaker 2: on the plane while we were away. We told him
36:08
Speaker 2: that we hide it from the airport genie, and even
36:12
Speaker 2: set the backdrop with a picture of a plane and
36:15
Speaker 2: the airline on it. He completely believed the lie, and
36:19
Speaker 2: he's telling everyone about the fact that it's a rented iPad.
36:22
Speaker 1: Only I love that they went so far to put
36:25
Speaker 1: the airline that they're on on the back of it.
36:28
Speaker 1: That is fucking class class man. This is also from
36:33
Speaker 1: a Casey. I'm not sure if it's the same one.
36:36
Speaker 2: There were enough cases out there.
36:37
Speaker 1: If it is, you liar, it reads Hey, boys. The
36:41
Speaker 1: biggest lie I have told my daughter is that, from
36:44
Speaker 1: a really young age, I made out that cleaning her
36:47
Speaker 1: teeth was a privilege. If she was naughty, she wasn't
36:53
Speaker 1: allowed to do. It worked like a charm.
36:57
Speaker 2: That is so deceitful, and I love it makes me
37:01
Speaker 2: happy when people lie. It's like because like Mazie, that's
37:05
Speaker 2: her name, right, that is her name. Yet thank God,
37:08
Speaker 2: she loves toothpaste, doesn't she.
37:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was on the Eclipse Mint for a while.
37:13
Speaker 1: She's backed off a bit now.
37:14
Speaker 2: But strawberry or mint flavored toothpaste.
37:18
Speaker 1: Oh, full mint. She's just chewing on the end of
37:21
Speaker 1: that toothbrush.
37:22
Speaker 2: That's a treat for her.
37:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, But the problem is she's she's not even brushing,
37:26
Speaker 1: she's just leaking it off.
37:28
Speaker 2: Literally, Like Laula is the same strawberry flavored toothpaste and
37:31
Speaker 2: she's just like, oh yeah, top it up.
37:34
Speaker 1: Yeah. Like god, they just love like panadole and stuff too.
37:39
Speaker 2: It annoyed me so much that I've left it too
37:41
Speaker 2: late to implement these lies with Marley and Lola. But
37:44
Speaker 2: now I've got a second chance, a third chance. It's
37:48
Speaker 2: why I had a third child.
37:49
Speaker 1: So you can start like earlier on Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Matt,
37:53
Speaker 1: let's finish this episode off with some par amps.
37:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's coise it in that I am.
37:57
Speaker 1: We haven't done it in a couple of weeks.
37:59
Speaker 2: I am struggling with the voice. So I'm giving it
38:02
Speaker 2: my all to those of you who missed the old Matt.
38:04
Speaker 2: He's gone, he's no longer with us. Will they come back?
38:07
Speaker 2: We're not sure.
38:07
Speaker 1: We're not sure what I want to be previous? You
38:13
Speaker 1: say what, man? I feel like a pair of en
38:25
Speaker 1: This one's from ebony. People who park so close to
38:28
Speaker 1: you that you have to get yourself. And that's toddler
38:31
Speaker 1: in from the passenger's side and do upper seat from
38:34
Speaker 1: the front. This triggers me so glad I didn't have
38:39
Speaker 1: both toddlers with me. But also, how did you get
38:42
Speaker 1: out of the car because I can't get into mine and.
38:46
Speaker 2: At our old age, any type of awkward movement. I
38:50
Speaker 2: spaz him up real bad.
38:51
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, where were we? I was it the pizza
38:53
Speaker 1: and puzzle night for Father's Day?
38:55
Speaker 2: Right? I feel like Pizza and Puzzle Night comes back
38:58
Speaker 2: on this podcast every tour.
39:00
Speaker 1: It's just it's the trauma of pizza and puzzle and
39:03
Speaker 1: I can't stand it.
39:05
Speaker 2: You love it.
39:05
Speaker 1: I can't stand it because the amount of pizza I
39:08
Speaker 1: want to eat is unacceptable for the public. Public guy. Okay,
39:13
Speaker 1: so I've got to pretend like, oh, that was one
39:15
Speaker 1: two pieces of pizza on full and then I've got
39:18
Speaker 1: to pretend to like the song and dance of it all.
39:21
Speaker 1: And then there's a dad that I don't know. It's
39:23
Speaker 1: just like, so, what's your name?
39:25
Speaker 2: Gay?
39:26
Speaker 1: Anyway, I love people. I pulled into the car park
39:30
Speaker 1: as right we did the Pizza and Puzzle night, came back.
39:32
Speaker 1: It was dark because it was Pizza and Puzzle night.
39:34
Speaker 1: It's just me and Macy and that happened someone else
39:38
Speaker 1: in the Pizza and Puzzle Night then I and of
39:40
Speaker 1: course I tried to get out there as soon as possible,
39:42
Speaker 1: so I wanted to be the first one.
39:43
Speaker 2: Out of there.
39:44
Speaker 1: So the options were waight for this person to come
39:48
Speaker 1: because I could not get Macy in or or I
39:51
Speaker 1: would have had to go right round and do the whole. Yeah, anyway,
39:55
Speaker 1: I was like, the options are weight and this whole
39:58
Speaker 1: leaving as soon as I can because irrelevant and I've
40:01
Speaker 1: made a joke of myself. Or I opened the boot
40:05
Speaker 1: let Macie climb through and then I climb through on
40:09
Speaker 1: the other side, and then it's a fun game. I
40:13
Speaker 1: had to climb through the passenger beer and I'm not
40:17
Speaker 1: very nimble to admit, I will admit my hips do
40:22
Speaker 1: I And I was like really like ass on the
40:27
Speaker 1: windscreen trying to get around that way. It was a
40:30
Speaker 1: shimozzle cramped up three full time. So I'm with your
40:32
Speaker 1: hand on the horn hand yeah, hand ass And by
40:36
Speaker 1: the time I got us in, the guy got the
40:38
Speaker 1: car next to me and off. I was like a dickhead. Now,
40:43
Speaker 1: so I'm with you on that line.
40:44
Speaker 2: Well, I've actually got another parking rant.
40:47
Speaker 1: Car park etiquette needs to be addressed in every situation.
40:51
Speaker 2: I feel okay, this one is from Tian. Will I
40:54
Speaker 2: make it through this rant? I'm not sure, but she says,
40:57
Speaker 2: my two year old and newborn baby.
40:59
Speaker 1: Wait, sorry, end Or is a newborn mabe.
41:07
Speaker 2: Sorry, let me start again. She has a two year
41:10
Speaker 2: old and a newborn baby. Gosh, it's tough.
41:12
Speaker 1: I gathered. Oh god, you really need to explain that
41:19
Speaker 1: one to me.
41:20
Speaker 2: I was put, that's a long time for me to
41:22
Speaker 2: figure that one out. Jesus, that's concerning. I think she's
41:26
Speaker 2: the mother.
41:28
Speaker 1: She's the older sister.
41:30
Speaker 2: So she ordered direct to Boot for her groceries. It
41:32
Speaker 2: w words, Oh yeah, do you do that?
41:34
Speaker 1: No?
41:34
Speaker 2: We just yeah, I feel like I need to start
41:36
Speaker 2: doing that. So she gets there and all the parks
41:39
Speaker 2: are taken, which is fine, but then she realizes in capitals,
41:45
Speaker 2: nobody is in any of the vehicles you're parked, and
41:49
Speaker 2: then inside the actual store.
41:52
Speaker 1: So in fact, there was no boot to. There was
41:56
Speaker 1: no what do they call it, director boot? There was
41:58
Speaker 1: no director boot. There was not It was an old
42:01
Speaker 1: parking director. But get out and go direct into the shops.
42:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, a bunch of absolute assholes against to poor Tian
42:09
Speaker 2: with a newborn and a two year old. Fucking shame
42:12
Speaker 2: on you.
42:12
Speaker 1: I know, I feel I feel so bad even parking
42:14
Speaker 1: in the parents thing and I have a child with me,
42:16
Speaker 1: I will make it a point to over exaggerate that
42:20
Speaker 1: I have a child.
42:21
Speaker 2: I put on the limp as well.
42:23
Speaker 1: I come around to let them out. I'm like, there
42:25
Speaker 1: she is, come on, you know, and then come on,
42:29
Speaker 1: do you have a pram? No? Is that not? Is
42:33
Speaker 1: that not? Okay?
42:34
Speaker 2: On a second, hang on, I can fake it in
42:38
Speaker 2: the parenting car parks.
42:40
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, but it's just a symbol. I'm not going
42:45
Speaker 1: to get in trouble here.
42:46
Speaker 2: Okay, here, here's a question. Okay, okay, yeah, are you
42:50
Speaker 2: allowed to park in those parenting car parks without a
42:52
Speaker 2: physical PRAM or is it PRAM just to signify that
42:56
Speaker 2: you are a parent? No, I think I wouldn't have
42:58
Speaker 2: a symbol of a person with a more person.
43:00
Speaker 1: Because there are little people out there and it could
43:02
Speaker 1: be confusing. You don't want what if I have a
43:05
Speaker 1: friend who is a little person.
43:07
Speaker 2: I've not been using those car parks.
43:10
Speaker 1: I think it's just an international sign for parent.
43:14
Speaker 2: Are you sure?
43:14
Speaker 1: Yeah?
43:15
Speaker 2: Are you sure? I don't know, because you're acting like
43:18
Speaker 2: a guilty man.
43:19
Speaker 1: I'm pretty guilty of I think. I think I don't know. Look,
43:22
Speaker 1: I'm confused.
43:24
Speaker 2: Because I'm now I'm happy about having a newborn because
43:27
Speaker 2: I'm allowed to park and.
43:28
Speaker 1: I'm still doing it. It's a parent legally, let's look
43:32
Speaker 1: it up.
43:33
Speaker 2: Legally, there is nothing to prevent a person without a
43:36
Speaker 2: PRAM or infant parking in a PRAM spot.
43:39
Speaker 1: It's just frowned upon. Well yeah, yeah, but I still
43:43
Speaker 1: have the child, so I have fifty percent of the requirements.
43:46
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know.
43:47
Speaker 1: I would say the child's more like seventy five percent.
43:49
Speaker 2: Of the report.
43:50
Speaker 1: They're in a car seat in a car, and that
43:52
Speaker 1: makes us one hundred percent.
43:53
Speaker 2: Okay, I'd love to know what the listeners.
43:55
Speaker 1: Think, like if we can actually right now.
43:58
Speaker 2: It's seating, you're part of the problem.
44:02
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I was also picking up our groceries.
44:05
Speaker 2: But Ash, I don't know if I can get the
44:08
Speaker 2: last closure of this episode out there. Do you mind
44:11
Speaker 2: doing the honors?
44:11
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to play both characters. Yeah, okay. If
44:14
Speaker 1: you've enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review five stars perhaps,
44:18
Speaker 1: or you can join us on social media where man well,
44:22
Speaker 1: you can join it. You can join us on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,
44:31
Speaker 1: and also YouTube at Two Doting Dads.
44:34
Speaker 2: I will say in the Facebook group a lot of
44:36
Speaker 2: very important information with people asking about products that trampoline, scooters,
44:41
Speaker 2: car mirrors, the baby seats, ldree, all the parent essentials.
44:47
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can't talk. I'll see you guys
44:50
Speaker 2: next week. See bye.
44:57
Speaker 1: There's a couple of things you need to do right
44:59
Speaker 1: now after is check this story. First birth certificate and
45:03
Speaker 1: then also just triple check your insurance and also order Lingree,
45:07
Speaker 1: order Andree. Yeah, go to las and lash for Ellie. Yeah.
45:12
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
45:16
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
45:20
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
45:22
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
45:25
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land