Latest / Decisions, Decisions / You've Got Decisions: My Friend is Flaky! Should I Cut Her Off?
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions,
- 0:04Speaker 1: if you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
- 0:08Speaker 1: a terrible thruffle.
- 0:09Speaker 2: Guess what? You've got decisions. You've got decisions. Welcome, guys,
- 0:19Speaker 2: to another You Got Decisions. If you want to send
- 0:23Speaker 2: your letter on over to get some advice, send it
- 0:27Speaker 2: to decisionspod at gmail.com. All right. So where you guys
- 0:37Speaker 2: love the sex and raunch and nastiness, if you want
- 0:41Speaker 2: that this week, you need to head over to the
- 0:43Speaker 2: Patreon and check out Horrible Decisions because this week's YGD says,
- 0:51Speaker 2: My friend is flaky. Should I cut off? I just
- 0:55Speaker 2: want you to know You are going to get the
- 0:58Speaker 2: most biased advice from me because I am in the
- 1:01Speaker 2: season of cutting them bitches loose. Hurry. I'm not sure
- 1:08Speaker 2: how old you are. I don't think you included it
- 1:11Speaker 2: in the email, but we'll see. I'm going to let
- 1:13Speaker 2: you know this time because these bitches be needing to
- 1:18Speaker 2: be cut off. Before we get into it, what do
- 1:19Speaker 2: you consider to be a....
- 1:26Speaker 1: Forgivable amount of flake and what is flaky is it
- 1:28Speaker 1: like saying i'm gonna call you back and you don't
- 1:32Speaker 1: is it um canceling like what do you think flaky
- 1:35Speaker 1: is for you um flaky is not sticking to plans
- 1:41Speaker 1: especially like a trip um but flaky is uh to
- 1:47Speaker 1: me even being constantly late for something having excuses why
- 1:52Speaker 1: you aren't coming to somewhere when the plan was for.
- 1:55Speaker 2: You to be there. To me, I don't think I've
- 1:59Speaker 2: ever dealt with anyone that flakes, realistically. I haven't either.
- 2:05Speaker 2: It's not that bad. But late, I have. To me,
- 2:08Speaker 2: a flaky friend is someone that just needs to be demoted,
- 2:13Speaker 2: not cut off. Like, I just think you need, you
- 2:16Speaker 2: and this friend just might not be aligned with what
- 2:20Speaker 2: you mean to each other that's a that's a good
- 2:23Speaker 2: way to put it like you don't like I'd be
- 2:26Speaker 2: like girl let's get up we have plans to get
- 2:28Speaker 2: up if it's a friend that I'm like don't really
- 2:31Speaker 2: care to really get up with I keep pushing it
- 2:34Speaker 2: off or I'm busy or dang something came up but
- 2:37Speaker 2: that just means that that's not someone I genuinely want
- 2:40Speaker 2: to build that deeper rapport with so that's like You
- 2:45Speaker 2: know what I mean? I don't think a real friend is.
- 2:47Speaker 1: I noticed that, like, love languages and friendships are different, too,
- 2:51Speaker 1: with being able to keep in contact. Like, that's something
- 2:55Speaker 1: that friendships, I think, really require, and it's how you
- 3:00Speaker 1: continue to keep your friendship strong. But flakiness is interesting
- 3:04Speaker 1: because I was in an argument, not like an argument,
- 3:07Speaker 1: but a little back and forth with a friend that
- 3:11Speaker 1: I've had on this show. His name's Brandon. We've done
- 3:13Speaker 1: the what's in your bag stuff. And Brandon was like, girl,
- 3:15Speaker 1: you be flaking on me.
- 3:16Speaker 2: And I'm like, when, where? He's like, you were supposed
- 3:20Speaker 2: to call me yesterday.
- 3:21Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, because in my head, a phone.
- 3:27Speaker 2: Call isn't that serious.
- 3:29Speaker 1: But one of the things that he let me know
- 3:30Speaker 1: that I really appreciated was he basically said to me like, oh,
- 3:35Speaker 1: I'm excited to like get my FaceTime on, have my
- 3:38Speaker 1: drink and catch up with you.
- 3:39Speaker 2: I think of it as our like little date.
- 3:41Speaker 1: And if you got too busy or something and you
- 3:43Speaker 1: didn't let me know, like, that's disappointing. And I was like,
- 3:46Speaker 1: you know what? He's like, because we don't live in
- 3:47Speaker 1: the same city, girl. So when are we going to
- 3:48Speaker 1: have the time.
- 3:49Speaker 2: To catch up?
- 3:50Speaker 1: And I really appreciated him saying that because now I
- 3:52Speaker 1: make the extra effort if I ever say something to
- 3:56Speaker 1: let him know because I know he needs that. And
- 3:57Speaker 1: that's how he would feel respected and cared about. But
- 4:02Speaker 1: other than that, I can't think of instances where I've
- 4:05Speaker 1: ever flaked, even if I'm anticipating lateness.
- 4:11Speaker 2: I would let someone know that. This story, she gave
- 4:13Speaker 2: quite a bit of examples. Ooh. Let's see. This is
- 4:18Speaker 2: also a very longstanding friend, and we find that out
- 4:22Speaker 2: out the gate. Okay. She says, hey, I have a
- 4:26Speaker 2: friend I've known since the third grade. We've been friends
- 4:29Speaker 2: for most of our lives, although we did have a
- 4:31Speaker 2: falling out at one point because what I felt was
- 4:34Speaker 2: her careless and flaky behavior. We reconnected last year, and
- 4:39Speaker 2: the truth is, when things are good between us, we
- 4:42Speaker 2: have so much fun together. Neither of us drinks, but
- 4:46Speaker 2: somehow we can still shut a place down with just
- 4:48Speaker 2: our energy. There's a history of familiarity between us that
- 4:52Speaker 2: is hard to replicate. But there's another side to our
- 4:55Speaker 2: friendship that has become increasingly difficult for me to ignore.
- 4:59Speaker 2: My friend is extremely boy-crazy, and unfortunately, the men are
- 5:03Speaker 2: rarely quality. Mm-hmm. Interested in a man, she will bend
- 5:07Speaker 2: over backwards for him. I joked that she would give
- 5:10Speaker 2: a kidney if she thought it would secure a relationship.
- 5:13Speaker 2: But when it comes to her friendships with women, particularly
- 5:16Speaker 2: our friendship, that same level of care just isn't there.
- 5:20Speaker 2: One example involves a sorority I was interested in joining.
- 5:24Speaker 2: I asked for her help getting involved, and initially she
- 5:27Speaker 2: wasn't particularly interested in helping. Then she started dating someone,
- 5:31Speaker 2: and suddenly she was willing to help. I actually coached
- 5:34Speaker 2: and supported her through that relationship because that's the type
- 5:37Speaker 2: of friend I am. When the relationship eventually ended, which
- 5:40Speaker 2: had absolutely nothing to do with me, her willingness to
- 5:43Speaker 2: help me disappeared with it. She either didn't want me
- 5:46Speaker 2: to join anymore or would brush off the conversation whenever
- 5:50Speaker 2: I brought it up. It felt like something that mattered
- 5:52Speaker 2: to me only mattered to her while she was happy
- 5:55Speaker 2: with a man. That dynamic shows up in smaller ways too.
- 6:00Speaker 2: Most of our conversations revolve around her. I listen to
- 6:03Speaker 2: what's happening with her, her relationships, her problems, and whatever
- 6:07Speaker 2: she needs to process. But when the conversation shifts to me,
- 6:11Speaker 2: suddenly she has to get off the phone or can't
- 6:13Speaker 2: really be bothered. I recognize that part of why this
- 6:17Speaker 2: bothers me so deeply is because I don't let many
- 6:20Speaker 2: people get close to me. I've endured a lot in
- 6:23Speaker 2: my life, so friendship isn't particularly casual for me. If
- 6:26Speaker 2: I consider you one of my people, I'm a ride-or-die
- 6:29Speaker 2: type of friend. I'm very black and white about loyalty. She,
- 6:33Speaker 2: on the other hand, seems much more comfortable being a
- 6:35Speaker 2: fair-weather friend. The part that has become hardest for me
- 6:40Speaker 2: is that this no longer affects only me. Because we've
- 6:43Speaker 2: known each other since childhood, I've allowed her to become
- 6:47Speaker 2: my daughter's godmother. She's flaky in that relationship, too. I've
- 6:53Speaker 2: told her repeatedly that while adults can decide what they're
- 6:55Speaker 2: willing to tolerate from one another, you cannot be inconsistent
- 6:59Speaker 2: with a child who loves and depends on you. She
- 7:01Speaker 2: doesn't seem to understand why I consider that such a
- 7:03Speaker 2: big deal. And I think that's where my feelings really changed.
- 7:08Speaker 2: It's one thing to watch someone break their neck to
- 7:09Speaker 2: show up for men while being careless about disappointing me.
- 7:13Speaker 2: It's another thing to watch them do it while also
- 7:15Speaker 2: being careless about disappointing my child. The reason we haven't
- 7:18Speaker 2: spoken in the last few weeks is actually another example
- 7:20Speaker 2: of the behavior I'm struggling with. She invited me to
- 7:24Speaker 2: her sister's birthday party, which was about two hours away.
- 7:28Speaker 2: The plan, as I understood it, was for us to
- 7:30Speaker 2: meet up and ride out there together. As the party
- 7:32Speaker 2: got closer, I hadn't heard anything from her. Eventually, I
- 7:36Speaker 2: texted her to ask what the plan was. That's when
- 7:39Speaker 2: she casually told me that she had already made it
- 7:41Speaker 2: to the city where the party was being held. I
- 7:44Speaker 2: was confused and said, oh, I was waiting for you.
- 7:46Speaker 2: I thought we were riding together. She basically responded, oh,
- 7:50Speaker 2: I just went ahead and came out here. Then she
- 7:53Speaker 2: started telling me that everyone was getting together and that
- 7:56Speaker 2: she was gathering everyone's information and putting their names on
- 7:58Speaker 2: the list for the party. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there thinking,
- 8:01Speaker 2: you invited me. We had plans to travel there together.
- 8:04Speaker 2: You left without saying anything. Didn't check to see where
- 8:07Speaker 2: I was. And I only found out because I contacted you.
- 8:10Speaker 2: I didn't argue with her. I didn't send her a
- 8:12Speaker 2: long message explaining why I was upset. I just stopped responding.
- 8:15Speaker 2: And honestly, it wasn't really about the party. It was
- 8:18Speaker 2: that this felt like yet another example of something I've
- 8:20Speaker 2: experienced throughout our friendship. She can be incredibly careless about
- 8:24Speaker 2: how her actions affect me, and somehow I'm expected to
- 8:27Speaker 2: just roll with it. What makes all of this more
- 8:30Speaker 2: complicated is that I genuinely love her. When we're together,
- 8:33Speaker 2: we have an amazing time. We have decades of history,
- 8:36Speaker 2: but I'm starting to question whether history, chemistry, and having
- 8:39Speaker 2: fun together are enough to sustain a friendship when I
- 8:42Speaker 2: don't feel like the actual care is reciprocal. We haven't
- 8:45Speaker 2: spoken since the party situation. Recently, she reached out and
- 8:48Speaker 2: asked about my daughter's birthday. I didn't respond. So now
- 8:52Speaker 2: I'm wondering, Is this a friendship worth trying to save
- 8:54Speaker 2: because of our history, the love that's there and how
- 8:57Speaker 2: much we genuinely have together? Or am I holding on
- 9:01Speaker 2: to the history of a friendship that in its current
- 9:04Speaker 2: form doesn't actually meet my definition of friendship? Thank you.
- 9:10Speaker 2: I got my answer. Y'all could go back and watch
- 9:14Speaker 2: my vlog if you were in the $ 15 and up
- 9:16Speaker 2: tier on Patreon where I talked about someone being considerate
- 9:22Speaker 2: and considering me being a form of respect and the
- 9:27Speaker 2: least minimum bare thing that I expect from anybody in
- 9:32Speaker 2: life now. And if my time isn't considered, my money
- 9:37Speaker 2: isn't considered, my ability to navigate, travel, change, the effort
- 9:44Speaker 2: that I put, if nothing is ever considered for how
- 9:47Speaker 2: I show up, then This ain't it for me. You
- 9:52Speaker 2: know what I think? I agree, duh.
- 9:58Speaker 1: She said doesn't sound like a great friend but so
- 10:02Speaker 1: she wasn't male-centered when you made her to godmum like
- 10:06Speaker 1: i just don't think that people don't show themselves to
- 10:10Speaker 1: you the first time like i don't know like when
- 10:15Speaker 1: she's saying like oh but she'll do it for a
- 10:17Speaker 1: man like That's the only part where I was just
- 10:19Speaker 1: kind of like, okay, girl, she jumps for niggas. Like,
- 10:22Speaker 1: so you never saw this. You never saw.
- 10:26Speaker 2: It's giving that she doesn't have kids. And so for
- 10:28Speaker 2: you to expect someone to show up for your child
- 10:31Speaker 2: the way you would.
- 10:31Speaker 1: Because that was where I was not feeling it.
- 10:34Speaker 2: Title to me is like, girl, she got her own life.
- 10:37Speaker 2: Like a God mom is someone that shows up in
- 10:41Speaker 2: case something were to ever happen and And yeah, you're
- 10:45Speaker 2: the friend, you're the longstanding friend, but I think you
- 10:49Speaker 2: judging her and how she's letting your daughter down isn't
- 10:52Speaker 2: fair because she's not. I would hate if somebody said
- 10:55Speaker 2: that to me.
- 10:56Speaker 1: That was the only thing in this whole thing that
- 10:59Speaker 1: was making me be like, okay, you're obsessed with a bitch.
- 11:02Speaker 1: And I know that sounds mean, but like, and she's
- 11:05Speaker 1: not showing up, you're disappointing a kid.
- 11:07Speaker 2: Is she telling your kid she's going to pick her up? Like,
- 11:11Speaker 2: what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I want
- 11:13Speaker 2: to know where the disappointment for the kids. Like, I'm
- 11:15Speaker 2: going to be real with you.
- 11:16Speaker 1: Maybe y'all had different type of godmamas growing up, okay?
- 11:19Speaker 1: But I saw my godmama maybe once a year or so, like,
- 11:22Speaker 1: and I never thought, oh, my God, Auntie Paula's never coming.
- 11:26Speaker 2: I mean, she passed on, but, like, it was never
- 11:28Speaker 2: this thing of, like, I don't know. I don't like
- 11:38Speaker 2: how she threw in, and now I guess I'll, this
- 11:42Speaker 2: just literally reminded me of a conversation that I had
- 11:45Speaker 2: with my mom. Because my mom and my grandma been
- 11:48Speaker 2: beefing boy since she found out her daddy wasn't her daddy.
- 11:51Speaker 2: It's been a lot of drama, right? Oh, I can imagine.
- 11:54Speaker 2: My mom tried to, like, shame my grandma in the
- 11:59Speaker 2: lack of relationship we all have with her. And she was, like,
- 12:04Speaker 2: just dissing, dissing, dissing my grandma. I literally had to
- 12:08Speaker 2: stop my mom and be like, what you're not going
- 12:12Speaker 2: to do is gaslight me right now. Because if you
- 12:15Speaker 2: genuinely cared about the relationship all of your daughters had
- 12:19Speaker 2: with your mother, you would have made sure that that
- 12:23Speaker 2: happened regardless of your relationship with her. And so in
- 12:27Speaker 2: this letter, for her to say, she texted me the
- 12:32Speaker 2: other day about my daughter's birthday, but I didn't respond.
- 12:35Speaker 2: Don't sit here and spend two paragraphs about how she's
- 12:38Speaker 2: let your daughter down and how much you care about
- 12:40Speaker 2: how she shows up for your daughter. And then in
- 12:43Speaker 2: the very last paragraph, say that she reached out to
- 12:46Speaker 2: show up and ask about your daughter's birthday and you
- 12:49Speaker 2: left her on read. Do you care about your daughter's
- 12:51Speaker 2: disappointment or do you not? Does your daughter really care
- 12:54Speaker 2: about how much she shows up or does she not? Like,
- 12:57Speaker 2: I think that you need to find a way to
- 12:59Speaker 2: genuinely sit with your feelings about her. Why do you
- 13:03Speaker 2: care about her male-centeredness? What is your relationship currently with men?
- 13:08Speaker 2: Do you not get the same privilege of dating because
- 13:12Speaker 2: you have a child? Is there any resentment pulled there? Like,
- 13:15Speaker 2: if she's a single girl just out here being male-centered,
- 13:18Speaker 2: a lot of bitches are that. And kind of like Weezy,
- 13:20Speaker 2: you said, bitch, I know you knew she was male-centered
- 13:23Speaker 2: since y'all been friends since the third grade. This isn't new.
- 13:27Speaker 2: Maybe since the third grade, you've allowed her to only
- 13:30Speaker 2: speak about herself and you didn't have the confidence or... Sorry.
- 13:36Speaker 2: or security to infiltrate yourself and demand the type of
- 13:40Speaker 2: friendship you wanted from her. It is kind of, I
- 13:43Speaker 2: wouldn't say obsessed, but it is giving that maybe you
- 13:46Speaker 2: like her and want more out of the friendship than
- 13:49Speaker 2: she genuinely wants out of you.
- 13:51Speaker 1: Like, I really, so like, I know you had your
- 13:54Speaker 1: feelings are the considered thing, but when I made that
- 13:55Speaker 1: little face, it was because I was like, that godmama
- 13:58Speaker 1: shit was crazy, y'all. So I'm a godmama to two children. Cash,
- 14:04Speaker 1: he's in Atlanta. My friends AJ and Toya made me
- 14:07Speaker 1: a godmom when she was pregnant and it was beautiful.
- 14:11Speaker 1: And my makeup artist and friend, who I'm not super close, Maggie,
- 14:15Speaker 1: she doesn't have many friends in New York.
- 14:17Speaker 2: You've met Maggie. She asked me to be the godmom
- 14:19Speaker 2: of her son. I said yes.
- 14:22Speaker 1: Now, I just saw Bash in Atlanta when we were
- 14:26Speaker 1: recording and I took him to the aquarium. I haven't
- 14:30Speaker 1: seen Bash since 2026, 2025.
- 14:33Speaker 2: If his mom would have.
- 14:34Speaker 1: Given me the fucking energy or his dad, it would
- 14:36Speaker 1: have hurt me so badly to just be.
- 14:38Speaker 2: Like, well, you don't do it. It'd have been like, damn, man,
- 14:42Speaker 2: like I'm not his other parent. I just don't know.
- 14:45Speaker 2: I guess maybe maybe she needs maybe she needs to
- 14:50Speaker 2: like outline her expectations of also a godmother. I would
- 14:56Speaker 2: be so pissed if someone did that to me. Clearly
- 14:58Speaker 2: her expectations as a friend seem bare minimum, but they
- 15:01Speaker 2: seem to be getting conflated with the godmother expectation here.
- 15:05Speaker 2: And I'm actually about to be godmama to another fucking kid. Three.
- 15:09Speaker 2: And all I'm saying is, what are... Am I supposed to...
- 15:14Speaker 2: I already sent... You know I'm the Christmas gift. I'm
- 15:16Speaker 2: going to send a fucking birthday gift.
- 15:18Speaker 1: And I'm going to do the check-ins, just as we
- 15:19Speaker 1: do when we're in our friendship talking.
- 15:21Speaker 2: But like, what does she expect? Yeah. Does she have
- 15:24Speaker 2: to pick her up and take her to the fucking
- 15:26Speaker 2: Chuck E. Cheese's?
- 15:27Speaker 1: And I think that the way that she spoke about
- 15:30Speaker 1: it as though she should feel guilty, that woman has
- 15:34Speaker 1: no responsibility unless you did.
- 15:36Speaker 2: That's what a godmother's responsibility is, right? Yes. The other thing... I.
- 15:45Speaker 1: Just find that any male-centered woman I know has been
- 15:48Speaker 1: that way as long as I've known them.
- 15:51Speaker 2: They may go up and down in it a little bit. Um.
- 15:56Speaker 1: So she must have been a good enough person for
- 15:58Speaker 1: you to make her the godmom. To me, like, I
- 16:03Speaker 1: just don't see a world where the woman.
- 16:05Speaker 2: I.
- 16:05Speaker 1: Have two people I think I would make a godmom
- 16:07Speaker 1: of my kid today, right?
- 16:09Speaker 2: Two people in my head.
- 16:11Speaker 1: I don't see a world where I could be talking
- 16:14Speaker 1: about them like this in five years and just talking
- 16:17Speaker 1: that nasty.
- 16:18Speaker 2: Like, you hate this bitch. You really do. I mean, yeah,
- 16:21Speaker 2: definitely giving that you get nothing from this... I just
- 16:26Speaker 2: don't know if I believe. Like, it can't be that bad.
- 16:29Speaker 1: And again, you just said this woman probably has no kids.
- 16:32Speaker 1: If your homegirl is single and likes to party.
- 16:35Speaker 2: And goes out. And likes to fuck on niggas. Are we, like,
- 16:40Speaker 2: advocating for the hoe right now? I mean, no. Don't
- 16:43Speaker 2: get me wrong. That shit would have pissed me off
- 16:45Speaker 2: with the motherfucking car. I mean, but also even when she.
- 16:49Speaker 1: But then she also said, it was my understanding we
- 16:51Speaker 1: had plans.
- 16:51Speaker 2: When you were reading that, I read it again. Hold on,
- 16:54Speaker 2: because I'm just like... I mean, they could have both
- 16:57Speaker 2: just laxed in the plan making. That's what I'm feeling.
- 17:03Speaker 2: Hold on, wait, wait, wait. She invited me to her
- 17:06Speaker 2: sister's birthday.
- 17:07Speaker 1: The plan, as I understood it, was for us to
- 17:09Speaker 1: meet up and ride out there together. As the party
- 17:11Speaker 1: got closer, I hadn't heard anything. And eventually I texted
- 17:13Speaker 1: her to ask where the plan was.
- 17:15Speaker 2: Then she told me she already made it. Are y'all
- 17:16Speaker 2: talking every day or did you make the plan the
- 17:19Speaker 2: week before and just didn't follow up?
- 17:21Speaker 1: Because I'm going to tell you what they sounded like
- 17:22Speaker 1: to me.
- 17:23Speaker 2: Oh, the month before.
- 17:24Speaker 1: My sister was going to have a birthday party in Jersey. Oh, okay.
- 17:28Speaker 2: I'm going to ride with you. Okay. And then no
- 17:31Speaker 2: follow up. And then no follow up. You know what?
- 17:35Speaker 1: I think that's why I'm feeling away.
- 17:38Speaker 2: I reached out to her. Well, babe, you should have
- 17:42Speaker 2: been on that a little bit more. And I actually
- 17:44Speaker 2: think she would have been like, oh, shit, I'll pick
- 17:46Speaker 2: you up. I actually do. I swear to God, my
- 17:49Speaker 2: homeboy made fun of me. He sent me his little
- 17:52Speaker 2: AI flyer for his birthday that was at Cheetah. And
- 17:56Speaker 2: it was in the group chat with me and Crystal. So, bitch,
- 18:00Speaker 2: there was an 8 p.m. calendar invite for Cheetah sent
- 18:03Speaker 2: to both of them. Just so that they knew and
- 18:06Speaker 2: that it was on their calendar that, bitch, I know
- 18:09Speaker 2: we going to Cheetah to celebrate Keith's birthday on his day.
- 18:13Speaker 2: I remember you mentioned that on the Meno episode. You
- 18:15Speaker 2: make plans with people. Like, things need to be kind
- 18:20Speaker 2: of in stone. We all have different lives. We all
- 18:22Speaker 2: are navigating work, relationships, friendships, like, goal, dream, dick. Oh,
- 18:29Speaker 2: my God, Mandy.
- 18:30Speaker 1: I had somebody do this on my birthday.
- 18:34Speaker 2: Oh my God, it just hit me. I'll make it quick.
- 18:38Speaker 1: On my birthday, the address came out. I invited a
- 18:42Speaker 1: hundred people. As y'all know, we remember we talked about
- 18:44Speaker 1: my birthday. For some reason, I just hid the address
- 18:47Speaker 1: and sent it out on like whatever it is, party
- 18:50Speaker 1: full or whatever. Do you know this bitch called me
- 18:54Speaker 1: at 1130?
- 18:55Speaker 2: Didn't answer the phone. Yeah. Yeah, I was fucked up.
- 19:00Speaker 2: Which my nigga had my phone. I don't know who
- 19:02Speaker 2: had my phone. Vinny, my mom or whatever.
- 19:04Speaker 1: Next day, either I post something or somebody posts something
- 19:08Speaker 1: and she calls me. She's like, how was it?
- 19:10Speaker 2: I was like, girl, where were you? And she was like,
- 19:12Speaker 2: you never sent me the address. And I was like, huh?
- 19:17Speaker 1: She was like, yep, you never sent it. I was like,
- 19:19Speaker 1: did you RSVP? And she was like, yeah. She was like,
- 19:22Speaker 1: read your message. I'm like, read my message. She sent
- 19:28Speaker 1: me a text message at 2 p.m.
- 19:29Speaker 2: On my birthday. The birthday party was on my birthday.
- 19:32Speaker 2: And said, hey, babe, send me the addy.
- 19:35Speaker 1: I said, you know, all due respect, like, do you
- 19:39Speaker 1: think I was thinking about sending the address?
- 19:41Speaker 2: Like, there were parking instructions. There were instructions on how
- 19:44Speaker 2: to Uber. There were instructions on how to get up
- 19:47Speaker 2: the hill. Did she just not read?
- 19:49Speaker 1: She's like, oh, yeah, RSVP, like, what did you want me, like, to.
- 19:54Speaker 1: Anyway, we haven't spoke since. She's not a friend friend.
- 19:56Speaker 1: She's just, like, a bitch from Instagram that means.
- 19:58Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. I don't know if this is
- 20:00Speaker 2: a friend friend. No, no, no.
- 20:01Speaker 1: But the thing is, just the idea that, hey, babe,
- 20:05Speaker 1: send me the address, and, like, you having this expectation that, like, bro, like,
- 20:09Speaker 1: I don't know. I just remember getting blamed for something
- 20:12Speaker 1: the day of the party. And I'm like, I just
- 20:14Speaker 1: know it was her sister's birthday party. She's like, bitch,
- 20:16Speaker 1: you thought I remembered that you needed to be picked up?
- 20:19Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have been just like that.
- 20:21Speaker 1: We still love you and we want you to become
- 20:23Speaker 1: a patron and everything.
- 20:25Speaker 2: But like, I think she just really needs to sit
- 20:27Speaker 2: with her expectations of people and this friendship. And clearly
- 20:31Speaker 2: you're getting exactly what this girl has the capacity to
- 20:34Speaker 2: give you. Unless you tell her you don't like how
- 20:37Speaker 2: she's showing up and she makes change. I think you
- 20:40Speaker 2: need to separate the expectations of godmother and friend and
- 20:44Speaker 2: sit back with what you really want from her as
- 20:46Speaker 2: a friend and communicate it. Agreed. Demote her.
- 20:50Speaker 1: And now maybe Mandy and I are bitches and everybody
- 20:52Speaker 1: else talk about it in the comments, but you won't
- 20:54Speaker 1: see the comments.
- 20:55Speaker 2: This isn't worth cutting off. I just think you need
- 20:57Speaker 2: to demote her and have a conversation. Agreed. If you
- 21:00Speaker 2: want to send your letters, send it to decisionspod at gmail.com.
- 21:05Speaker 2: You always got decisions plus the hoe, but make the
- 21:07Speaker 2: right one. All right.