Latest / Friday I'm in Bed / It's Friday I'm Shedding and Rebelling
Transcript
- 0:00Hello, welcome to Friday. I'm in bed.
- 0:02Podcasts for midlife women living their best life but in
- 0:05bed by 10. This week on Friday, I'm in bed.
- 0:14We're starting with reform, saying they'd scrap working from
- 0:17home because apparently it doesn't make people more
- 0:19productive. As women who've worked from home
- 0:20for years, we can confidently say we get a lot done.
- 0:23Zoom exists. Teams exists.
- 0:25The work gets done. So who exactly is this narrative
- 0:28aimed at? Then we're talking about the
- 0:30Women's Institute losing members after it closed the doors to
- 0:33trans women at meetings. They say they want to attract
- 0:36younger people and create a forward thinking space.
- 0:38We're asking how that works in practice.
- 0:40And finally, the Year of the Horse.
- 0:43Millennials are calling it their reset.
- 0:44Shedding trauma. Choosing courage, Craving
- 0:47freedom. Is it astrology?
- 0:48Or are we all just collectively fed up and ready for something
- 0:51different? So grab a cuppa and let's get
- 0:54into it. Hello Gemma, how are you this
- 0:57week? Am I right?
- 0:58I'm having that thing where I immediately forget everything
- 1:00I've done. I know what I did this week.
- 1:02I went to Valentine's Park run. That doesn't sound very
- 1:05romantic. Along with 2300 other people.
- 1:09What? Made it Valentine's week.
- 1:12Because it's the park is called Valentine's Park.
- 1:15So me and 2300 other people all had the idea that it might be
- 1:19quite fun. It's in Ilford that it might be
- 1:22quite fun to go and do Valentine's Park run on
- 1:24Valentine's Day, because Valentine's Day was obviously on
- 1:26Saturday. They normally get about 400
- 1:28people. Yeah, and they had over 2300.
- 1:30It wasn't one to be chasing a PB on, I can tell you that much.
- 1:33Because the queue to get through the finished funnel started
- 1:37about half a kilometre from the finish line.
- 1:39So my eventual time was like an hour and a quarter.
- 1:43Something It was lovely, we all. Stood in the queue, we chatted
- 1:45about our our park run alphabet and like all the other park runs
- 1:50we've done. And yeah, it was like what Park
- 1:52Run supposed to be about. It was really good fun.
- 1:54There were people dressed up, couple got engaged.
- 1:56I met, I met Greyhounds that was doing his 50s park run.
- 1:59Very cute. So yeah, I, yeah, I absolutely
- 2:02loved it. I had a great time.
- 2:04Yeah, it was about about 1000 more people than they
- 2:08anticipated, I believe. That's actually probably the
- 2:11worst idea for me of what to do on Valentine's Day.
- 2:14I went out for the day. I went to Leamington Spa with my
- 2:17husband. We had lunch, we walked about
- 2:20and we had a really lovely day. Obviously it was quite sunny,
- 2:23but it was freezing. The best bit for me was it was
- 2:27the first day since my surgery where I walked all day and I was
- 2:31absolutely fine. I was tired the next day, but my
- 2:34foot, I was fine. So that was good.
- 2:37And to celebrate, I then went to a gig last night and danced and
- 2:41jumped around for Yeah for the new thing.
- 2:45And I had an amazing time but got home really late because
- 2:49whenever we go to Cambridge to see live music, they've always
- 2:52shut all the roads. So it took hours to get home and
- 2:55it should only have taken about 45 minutes.
- 2:57So I'm now a little bit tired. Today I didn't go to bed early.
- 3:02How's your foot after the jumping around though?
- 3:03I'm. That's good, dude.
- 3:06Yeah, I've got a walking pad and I've been walking a lot on it
- 3:11and I think without realizing it's just getting my foots
- 3:15getting more flexible, which is really good.
- 3:18And and the the gutting bit is my husband's going on holiday
- 3:21tomorrow to Morocco for four days.
- 3:24And I said I couldn't go because there's no way I'd be able to
- 3:28walk around for four days because it's a city break.
- 3:30Although actually it's not a city break, it's on the coast.
- 3:32But there's no way I can walk around for four days.
- 3:35So I opted out of going and I'm now like, do you know what I
- 3:38probably could have done? So I'm now kicking myself.
- 3:42Maybe you should just go to Morocco on your own or somewhere
- 3:44nice and sunny on your own. No, I'm tidying the house and
- 3:47I'm going to see Wuthering Heights, which I think we may
- 3:50talk about next week. Yeah, I should probably try and
- 3:53see it. Otherwise, I'll just let you
- 3:55tell me about it. Yeah, I'm hearing it's very,
- 3:58very, very sexy to the point where I was going to go with my
- 4:02son and I've decided I'll just go on my own.
- 4:05I'm like, you might be squirming.
- 4:07Yeah, well, I don't know if I like that in films I read.
- 4:10Yeah, I'm doing the spicy dragon books at the moment, you know,
- 4:13the romanticity, like court thorns and roses and that kind
- 4:16of stuff. And I'm alright with that.
- 4:17But when it's in films, I do get a bit cringy, like, oh, I think.
- 4:21From what I've heard, I will talk about next week, obviously
- 4:24there is so much sex. It's it's basically like people
- 4:28are describing it as just girl porn.
- 4:30So I will report back if it's girl porn.
- 4:34Yeah, and then I'll decide whether to go or not.
- 4:37Yeah, right. We better get into it.
- 4:39We've got loads to talk about. We.
- 4:40Better. Yeah, keep running over again.
- 4:43Off we go. So whilst we are often political
- 4:53on the podcast, we don't often talk about politics itself.
- 4:57And today it's going to be a first because I want to talk
- 5:00about reform. So Nigel Farage's comments that
- 5:04he made at his rally in Birmingham that if they get into
- 5:08power, they will remove working from home.
- 5:11That will be one of their policies because, quote, it
- 5:15doesn't make you more productive, he says.
- 5:18And he feels that the country needs an attitudinal, which is a
- 5:22word I don't think I've ever used in my life, attitudinal
- 5:25change to hard work. So I wanted to talk about
- 5:28working from home. I don't want to talk about the
- 5:31reform. I want to talk about working
- 5:33from home. I looked up the stats. 13% of
- 5:36the workforce work remotely currently.
- 5:39So actually it's not as many as you think.
- 5:43So that's fully remote. Is that fully remote then?
- 5:47Fully remote and 28% work hybridly so in the office, out
- 5:53of the office. And my first thought was, you
- 5:56know, does this, is this aimed at women?
- 5:59Obviously we talk about things like that a lot because in my
- 6:02mind, a lot of women or I feel that the more women have flexi
- 6:06hours than men. Although when I looked up the
- 6:09stats, there are no stats around that 13% that work fully
- 6:13remotely, whether they're they're women or men.
- 6:16But then it all got a bit interesting afterwards because
- 6:20two County Council leaders who are from the reform, a reform
- 6:25constituency said that actually working from home works really
- 6:30well for them. And then they backtracked really
- 6:34quickly because of course, they've kind of contradicted
- 6:37their leader and said, actually we agree people are more
- 6:40productive in the office. However, we don't have the
- 6:44office space, so we can't even have them all in the office if
- 6:48we wanted to. So I think that's that.
- 6:50So there's lots to kind of unpack.
- 6:52Here. There's like, is it women?
- 6:54Are we more productive, active if we work from home?
- 6:56The effect it has on business, but also it's a trust issue.
- 7:00I feel personally, fundamentally because I think people don't
- 7:04trust that people are working when they're working from home.
- 7:07So yeah, let's talk about it. I.
- 7:09Suspect that it's not. It's one of those policies
- 7:12that's not specifically targeting women, but but may
- 7:16yes, may affect women more on the basis that things like
- 7:20childcare responsibilities fall primarily on women still.
- 7:23And that means that, you know, they will who use flexible
- 7:25working or home working to to work around their children and
- 7:29maybe continue careers that they might previously have had to
- 7:32give up or go part time and they can now work more hours if
- 7:36they're working hybrid or remote.
- 7:38My first thing is that I suspect it's not deliberately aimed at
- 7:40women, but it will affect women disproportionately.
- 7:43I suspect that the driver behind it is basically that the reform
- 7:48are obviously very much in the pockets of the big rich people
- 7:52who own the offices that they now can't shift in the city
- 7:55because nobody wants big offices anymore because they're doing
- 7:58hybrid working. So I suspect that that's the
- 8:01that's the primary thing behind it is getting people back into
- 8:04the office. So I kind of, I mean, I've been
- 8:08self-employed for years as I know that you have and my
- 8:12husband's also self-employed and we work from home, but he had
- 8:16hybrid work before that. He would go away for lots of
- 8:18days to like the office, which was on the other side of the
- 8:20city, city, country. And then, you know, then and
- 8:24then, you know, he would drive back and forth and he would
- 8:26travel around the country. And I think he quite, quite
- 8:30enjoyed that because he enjoyed that the flexibility of being
- 8:32able to just like more a more task based approach.
- 8:36So I actually had to look because I knew we were going to
- 8:38do this one. So I actually had some look at
- 8:40some things today, which makes a change because normally I just
- 8:43decide to to wing it. But I was really curious if
- 8:45there was actually stats to back up my gut feelings.
- 8:48Much as I love to just tell everyone my gut feelings like
- 8:51they're fat. And actually as far as I can
- 8:53make out, it's poor leadership that's the problem.
- 8:56So there was stud, there's been a few like studies done and it
- 9:01seems that people appreciate your autonomy and that leads to
- 9:05an increase in productivity, but it doesn't necessarily need to
- 9:09an increase in employee well-being.
- 9:10It can increase stress and like emotional labor.
- 9:13So I thought that that was quite interesting.
- 9:15But one of the things that was flagged up by employees was that
- 9:19lack of social interaction, but that it was poor leadership that
- 9:22was potentially contributing to that because they're not
- 9:26formulating that team environment that you can get
- 9:29because you're sitting next to each other on a desk and you
- 9:31like just chat, don't you? But when you're not getting that
- 9:34because you're working from home, that's the bit that
- 9:36suffers. And then that can affect
- 9:37people's well-being if they don't have someone to replace
- 9:39it. And I think that the the
- 9:41leadership responsibility for that to make sure that their
- 9:44team is functioning as a team and actually put stuff together.
- 9:48I feel like it's cheating if you just go, oh, we're just going to
- 9:50bring everyone back into the office because then we don't
- 9:52have to work as hard. Do you find that to you?
- 9:54Because I did, it took me, and this is quite interesting, I
- 9:57think because I feel like there's a limit.
- 9:59So it took me like 3 years or something from working from home
- 10:02to suddenly go I never see anyone I.
- 10:05Have no, I never see. People and start just wishing I
- 10:08could get out again and my husband has been self-employed
- 10:12for a lot less time than me and recently which is probably about
- 10:18might be more than three years, but yeah, it's he's recently
- 10:20started going. Oh God, it's so great to talk to
- 10:23people now that we're we have an office space on a yard where we
- 10:28actually see other people. Sometimes you get a bit more
- 10:30social interaction. And I think he's actually
- 10:32appreciating that. So we can recognize that the
- 10:35social interaction is positive, but is that that doesn't really
- 10:38relate into this culture of hard work?
- 10:40Does it? No, I funnily enough don't miss
- 10:43working with people at all. I worked in an office and so
- 10:49much time was spent fanning around, walking to meeting to
- 10:53meeting, sitting waiting in meetings for people to arrive
- 10:57and going around in circles, chatting, aches being brought
- 11:00in. Like I didn't get any work done.
- 11:02I got so much more work done at home.
- 11:05Although I think when I was younger, when I started a bit
- 11:09more of a hybrid working, there were times where I was like, oh,
- 11:12I've just dragged myself out of bed at like 1 minute to 9:00 so
- 11:16that I'm online, you know, like, and was I as productive?
- 11:20I'm not sure. But I think as I got older,
- 11:22maybe it was linked to being a mum as well.
- 11:25You know, I can put the washing in, put the dishwasher on and,
- 11:29and run a meeting and, and do it all like simultaneously.
- 11:33So I don't know if I became more productive.
- 11:35But back to the, you know, the social interaction, I really
- 11:39like being on my own. Like I really like being on my
- 11:43own. This week it's half term and
- 11:45I've got the kids here and they're like, in my way, my
- 11:48routine has gone. They need to, you know, go back
- 11:52to school, go back to college. But I as a person, like being on
- 11:57my own and I always, I don't know if you're an only child,
- 12:01you're not an only child, are you?
- 12:02I'm an only child. And I don't know if that's like,
- 12:05I really am totally fine with being away from the people.
- 12:10Just like I, yeah, don't get me wrong, I am absolutely fine with
- 12:13being away from people. I don't miss working in an
- 12:16office with other people. I don't miss you.
- 12:18You go to gigs and stuff. So, you know, you see people.
- 12:22Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
- 12:23I think, I think that that was that was more.
- 12:25The thing is that occasionally you have an interaction with
- 12:28someone, even if it's the postman or someone at the corner
- 12:31shop. You know, it's very easy,
- 12:33depending on what you do when you work from home and whether
- 12:35you actually, you know, go anywhere else in the meantime
- 12:38to, to kind of suddenly get to a point where you go.
- 12:40I haven't exchanged words with people in like.
- 12:42Seven days, but does it make you?
- 12:45So I get, I get that and I also get the bit, the leadership of
- 12:48it because actually as a leader of remote workers, it's your
- 12:53responsibility to make everybody feel like a team.
- 12:56And whether you do that by having a like I did hear one
- 13:00company that does like a Friday at 4:00.
- 13:02I don't know. At the end of the day, they all
- 13:04had a like a just a online party.
- 13:06I don't think it's a party, but you know, just a get together, a
- 13:08gossip and it was not work. Although people were like, oh,
- 13:11it's Friday at 4:00, but then you they were supposed to be
- 13:14working even though it was Friday at 4:00.
- 13:16Maybe they did it just to make sure that you are actually
- 13:18working, you're actually still there.
- 13:21So I think back to what I said about the beginning about trust.
- 13:24I think a good leader needs to trust their team, but it's
- 13:27really hard to trust your team when you don't have any
- 13:31visibility of what they're doing.
- 13:33I think, and I've heard of people that like put teams on or
- 13:36they have like remote working where they all work.
- 13:39Everyone can see who's working, but they put it on and they go
- 13:42off and do something else because they have to have it on
- 13:45because they don't have it on. They get the question, but they
- 13:48might have got up at 5 o'clock 6:00 in the morning and started
- 13:50work. They might.
- 13:51These people aren't talking about they weren't skiving, but
- 13:55you know, they work probably harder than anyone and would get
- 13:59up early or work late and stuff, but they felt they had to put on
- 14:02their whatever it is like in office thing.
- 14:04And because of the trust issue. So how do you trust A-Team when
- 14:08they're all spread out? Thing is, I think it really
- 14:12depends on what the outputs are that you're expecting from your
- 14:17team. If you're still getting the
- 14:18outputs that you're expecting, then what does it matter what
- 14:21they're doing during the day? Doesn't matter whether they're
- 14:23sat at their desk or whether they've got their laptop on a
- 14:26beach in Malibu, Does it really? As long as you're getting the
- 14:29outputs? Because I've I've always found
- 14:32that I basically hyper focus on a task.
- 14:36So I'll do nothing and then get loads of work done in an hour
- 14:40and a half and then like nothing again.
- 14:43But in that hour and a half I might get the same amount of
- 14:45work done as someone else might get done in like the entire day
- 14:49because I just have that, that hyper focus.
- 14:52So if you've got like a kind of task based job and there are
- 14:55outputs that you need to output, then I guess that it's what
- 14:59would be the word for that? Yeah.
- 15:00Basically if there's things you need to achieve and you're
- 15:03achieving them, why does it matter like how many hours you
- 15:05work? Why have we made it the thing
- 15:07that like a 37 1/2 or 40 hour work week is the standard?
- 15:11Why? Why?
- 15:13Where did that come from? Do you know where that came
- 15:14from? Should we look that up?
- 15:15No, I don't. But also it's the 9:00 to 5:00.
- 15:19And we've talked about this before when we were talking
- 15:21about the doctor that got suspended for not picking up her
- 15:24or for making fake appointments or something so that she could
- 15:28go and pick her children up. Like the whole 9:00 to 5:00,
- 15:32Monday to Friday is quite archaic.
- 15:35And people do get up early. People get up early, go for a
- 15:38run and then work. People work late.
- 15:41People, you know, people can pick up their child at 3:30,
- 15:45have an hour child and then work till 8 or whatever.
- 15:49Everybody is different and surely, exactly as you said,
- 15:52it's the output that mattered. I have remote people working
- 15:55with me. They don't, they're not
- 15:57employed. They have been employed with me
- 15:59by me at times, but they work in freelance.
- 16:03As long as the stuff gets done by Friday, by the deadline,
- 16:07whatever the deadline is, I don't care if they do it on
- 16:10Tuesday lunchtime or Monday morning or like it, because it's
- 16:12the output that matters. And I feel like it's a bit
- 16:15micromanaging and we're adults, but I don't know if I think that
- 16:20because I'm now 53, like when I was 23, I being micromanaged
- 16:25maybe not have been such a big thing.
- 16:27But now I see it as like you do, if you employ your team, you
- 16:31have to trust them to do their job.
- 16:33And if they're not doing their job, whether they're in the
- 16:35office or remotely, you have to performance manage them or
- 16:37support them to do it better. So just to go, yeah, that's way
- 16:44harder. Than just tying everyone to a
- 16:45desk, they write. I think that's like the two
- 16:47perspectives on there. Yeah.
- 16:49So from like the employees perspective, employees generally
- 16:53find that they love the autonomy.
- 16:54They find that they're more productive working from home,
- 16:56but that they sometimes miss that social interaction.
- 16:59From the employer's perspective, I think I actually found some
- 17:04stats that like 41% thought that there was an increase in
- 17:06productivity when people work from home, and only 16% thought
- 17:09there was a decrease in productivity when they work from
- 17:11home. So I think that was from like
- 17:1324. So they're not looking at the
- 17:16data when they're making. So this policy, Yeah, I think
- 17:18they just guess. They're just guessing.
- 17:20I'm here for guessing. That's how I do everything in my
- 17:22life. But they're trying to see one of
- 17:26the things that I, I thought, I mean, this push does seem very
- 17:29much led by, you know, people with lots of money who trying to
- 17:33keep their costs as low as possible and don't want their
- 17:36property to devalue in the center of London.
- 17:39However, it does seem we considering when we have this
- 17:41technology, we have Teams, we have Zoom, we can work remotely,
- 17:46we can give people that, that flexibility.
- 17:50It means you don't have to necessarily pay like London
- 17:52waiting on wages. So it could cost you less in
- 17:56that sense. Employees aren't travelling in,
- 17:59so they don't have as high travel costs.
- 18:01So therefore their salary expectations might not be as
- 18:03high and they can live in cheaper places.
- 18:06So if you, if you embrace it, there's ways that it could be
- 18:09incredibly positive. They also mentioned things like,
- 18:12it means that they can recruit better talent.
- 18:14It means that they're less geographically restricted.
- 18:18So, you know, if there's an amazing person for the job that
- 18:20lives in Scotland but you're in London, you have to go, oh,
- 18:24well, just employ this like slightly less good person
- 18:27because they can actually get into the office and you know,
- 18:30what's the point in that? And it's better for the
- 18:32environment obviously, because people aren't in their cars,
- 18:35people aren't on trains, they're not buying sandwiches wrapped in
- 18:39plastic. So it's better for the
- 18:41environment as well. So there are so many positives
- 18:43and they have no time I feel as. Well, because the amount of time
- 18:47people spend commuting, I know it's an impact on your wallet
- 18:50and on the planet, but imagine turning off.
- 18:53You know, I tried to think all those years I spent 3 hours
- 18:57travelling, 4 hours travelling, just as literally 5:00 I'm at
- 19:02home. Oh.
- 19:03Nice. I think the downsides all do
- 19:06seem to be more a cultural thing.
- 19:09That could definitely be, it's just the companies can't really
- 19:13be bothered to put the effort in, you know, having effective
- 19:15leadership, fine, making sure that the employees still feel
- 19:19connected to the company and that they have like a company
- 19:23culture and that kind of thing. You know, you're not going into
- 19:27offices where you feel like, you know, there's a specific company
- 19:29culture because you're at home. But so that needs a little bit
- 19:31of extra work to foster that kind of positive feeling about
- 19:37the company rather than just having people who perform work
- 19:42productively. There are loads of jobs where
- 19:44you work with. My husband is a maintenance
- 19:47engineer. And he works remotely in respect
- 19:51that he doesn't go to an office. He has a van and he goes around
- 19:54as do all of the team. And they do see each other
- 19:57occasionally, not that often because they're all going around
- 20:00doing their thing and they have a team meeting every couple of
- 20:03weeks. I don't know how often they have
- 20:05it. And they all come to the office
- 20:07and they all have a meeting. So it's not like there are jobs
- 20:10already that are remote. It's not.
- 20:13I think it's again it's focusing on office work and as used
- 20:15office business, business, business business making all
- 20:18the. Money, but there's plenty of
- 20:20other jobs that are working remotely and I've been working
- 20:23remotely successfully forever in a day.
- 20:25I think it's linked to, you know, oh, you're at home though,
- 20:28isn't it? Are you watching daytime TV?
- 20:31But then again, I could have daytime TV on and still work
- 20:35because if I'm in the office, I have to listen to breaking
- 20:38Barbara talking about her night out last night or whoever.
- 20:41And I'm sorry, Barbara, I don't know where Barbara came from.
- 20:45A bit of a boomer name, but you know what I mean.
- 20:47I think I remember for once I had this manager and he rang.
- 20:53He totally didn't trust anybody. And somebody rang in sick and he
- 20:56rang her halfway through the day to check she was still sick.
- 20:59I mean, I don't know if you're allowed to do that anymore, but
- 21:01he did that. And she had music on in the
- 21:04background and he put the phone down and said she's not sick.
- 21:07And I said why? And he said she's listening to
- 21:10music. But again, it's that when the
- 21:13radio on the inability to come to work means that you cannot.
- 21:17Yeah, you obviously cannot function a rate function, a rate
- 21:21worker radio. Well, this is the thing.
- 21:22And it's, I think it's that trust thing.
- 21:25And he was so distrusting. And did it, you know, make us
- 21:28feel confident in the workplace? No.
- 21:30Did it make us want to go into the office and see him?
- 21:33No. Funnily enough, it's not how you
- 21:36manage and lead A-Team. And I have to end on this.
- 21:39And sorry to bring it back to politics, but the amount of
- 21:42comments underneath going, oh, I take it you'll turn up at
- 21:45Clacton because he's obviously famous for not actually turning
- 21:48up his. Yeah.
- 21:49So it was just all these comments going on.
- 21:51Looking forward to seeing you in the office then, because we
- 21:53haven't seen you in two years or whatever I thought was quite
- 21:57funny. Yeah, definitely.
- 21:59I registered that as well because yeah, his attendance
- 22:02record as an MEP was particularly bad, like. 498 out
- 22:08of 502 or something, wasn't it? So, yeah, I think it's probably
- 22:11just a another kind of spin. It's that right word, rage bait,
- 22:16whatever the word is policy that some employees will like,
- 22:20employers will like, and many will be like, well, we can't
- 22:24afford to everyone to be here, so whatever.
- 22:27Yeah, practice what you preach. OK.
- 22:36So we're going to talk about a topic now which is always
- 22:38controversial whenever we put any reels out where we mentioned
- 22:41things like this on social media.
- 22:43But specifically I want to talk about the Women's Institute and
- 22:46I want to talk about the Women's Institute decision that from
- 22:49April 2026, they will be excluding trans women from
- 22:56official membership of the WI. This has come about because of
- 23:00the Supreme Court ruling in 2024, which I'm sure we all
- 23:02remember the Supreme Court ruling was that one that when JK
- 23:06Rowling don't like to mention her either was smoking a cigar
- 23:09on a yacht because they won. Basically the Supreme Court
- 23:12ruling related quite specifically to the Equalities
- 23:14Act and stated that legal sex is defined by your gender at birth.
- 23:22So if you get a gender recognition certificate, that
- 23:26does not change your legal sex. So the point of that ruling was
- 23:31that the Equalities Act, the bits that refer to women, are
- 23:35referring to women who were assigned female at birth, and
- 23:38that the idea was that trans rights were covered by other
- 23:43parts of the ACT, parts related to a gender identity, sexuality,
- 23:47that kind of thing, They would all be protected elsewhere.
- 23:49So the intention was never that there was going to be no
- 23:52protection for trans women's or trans men's rights.
- 23:55The suggestion was simply that a gender recognition certificate
- 23:59didn't change your legal gender side of discussions about that.
- 24:04After that, a lot of the kind of trans exclusionary radical
- 24:08feminist groups, turfs started taking legal action against
- 24:11places that I know that there's been legal actions against
- 24:14Hampstead Heath Swimming Pond, which Hampstead Heath won for
- 24:18the record, and they're allowed. Trans women are still allowed to
- 24:20swim there. But the WI and the Girl Guides
- 24:23last year just made the decision that I think they were basically
- 24:26too scared that they were going to get sued.
- 24:28And they made the decision to exclude trans women and girls
- 24:31from their joining from official membership of their
- 24:34organization. So that comes into effect from
- 24:37April 2026. And the news story that's
- 24:39brought this up again this week is that at least twelve groups
- 24:44are going to be closing from April 2026.
- 24:48The committee of them has stepped down, and no one else
- 24:51has stepped up to the lead. So they're going to close the
- 24:53groups down because they're not happy with the exclusion of
- 24:56trans women and many of them will be opening as social
- 25:00groups. So they won't be affiliated to
- 25:02the WI, but they will still be existing.
- 25:04Friend of mine was looking to join the WI group in Sheffield
- 25:08and the one that she was looking at is actually one of the ones
- 25:11that's closing down. So I have a personal connection.
- 25:14They were saying that when they made this on social media, they
- 25:17put this post out. They got hundreds and hundreds
- 25:19and hundreds of negative comments and just a handful of
- 25:22positive comments. And the WI has been struggling
- 25:25to attract younger audience for years.
- 25:28And basically the leadership felt this is not going to help
- 25:31them attract a younger membership.
- 25:33But the older, more traditional membership now feel emboldened
- 25:37in some of their less savory attitudes to come out and argue
- 25:43about this. So I find the whole thing very
- 25:46interesting. I I've mentioned before that I
- 25:49play roller Derby. For years I've skated against
- 25:52both trans women and trans men. Never.
- 25:54It's a contact sport and it's never been an issue for me.
- 25:57I've got women assigned female at birth that will kick my ass
- 26:01and trans women whose ass I can kick.
- 26:03That particularly has never been never been an issue for me.
- 26:07As far as I'm concerned, trans women are women and that's kind
- 26:12of not a thing to me. I've also never really fancied
- 26:14joining the WI, though. It never feels like my kind of
- 26:18thing. When I used to do vintage hair
- 26:20and makeup, I did do a session at AWI and I did think, oh,
- 26:22these guys seem quite cool. Actually.
- 26:24I was surprised by like the age split.
- 26:26I mean, I'm going to start by asking you your experience of
- 26:29the WI because have you ever been involved in the WI group or
- 26:32anything like that? Have not I have.
- 26:36There have been a few probably about two occasions where I have
- 26:41thought about why there was. I think there was like AI don't
- 26:44know if it was the Wii, feel like it was like a young WI and
- 26:49I sang young because they were targeting younger people and the
- 26:53the talks and the stuff they were doing.
- 26:56What were less traditional, let's just say more modern in
- 26:59their approach. And I looked and then, but then
- 27:01there was a lot of crocheting and I was a bit like, I don't
- 27:03want to crocheting. Obviously that was just one
- 27:06group and we, I think we have one in the village and I and I
- 27:09and they were going to do a talk on William Morris and I was
- 27:13like, I'm, I'm really interested in William Morris.
- 27:15I would like to go along. And then I looked at everything
- 27:17else they were doing and it was not just on that meeting, you
- 27:21know, like their agenda for the term, for the month, you know,
- 27:24the season. And I was like, so boring, like
- 27:28so boring. And I don't obviously I don't
- 27:30have any issues sitting and speaking with people that are
- 27:35older than me, different generations.
- 27:37It's obviously the anti anti ageism stuff is, is a big part
- 27:40of what I do. But I don't want to listen to,
- 27:44you know, the life and works of a train company in whatever.
- 27:49I don't know. I don't know if that was the
- 27:50one, you know what I mean. It was like, and I think my
- 27:55thought therefore is, is if nothing changes, it will die out
- 28:01because my mom who hasn't been mentioned on the podcast for a
- 28:04few weeks, so big up because she does listen out.
- 28:08You can correct me later mom, if I'm wrong.
- 28:10My mom probably could think of nothing worse than going to the
- 28:13WR because and she's 7 28 last week because of what they talk
- 28:20about. She my mum's into art, she's
- 28:23into culture, She's into like she's she's she liked group.
- 28:26You know, she has a writer. She goes to the writing group,
- 28:28she goes to a book, but like she'll, yeah, correct me if I'm
- 28:32wrong one, but just it's the topics, you know, and then in
- 28:35and sitting around having a cup of tea.
- 28:37And I feel like at some point it needs to be modernized because
- 28:43there are so many women, 50s, sixties who don't want to like,
- 28:48how are they? How is it going to continue?
- 28:51And obviously I just need to carry out that with, I obviously
- 28:53haven't been to every WI in the country.
- 28:55There are probably some that are already doing, you know, talking
- 28:58about interesting things and doing more interesting things.
- 29:00But my experience is it's all just been very conservative.
- 29:06And that's one of the things I was reading.
- 29:07You know, the people that were overjoyed by the decision that
- 29:10the kind of more conservative traditional women and and the
- 29:15topics that they are talking about have net bet and have no
- 29:19interest to me. And and I'd probably not you and
- 29:22then the 40s and the third and the twent that it's not going to
- 29:25help unless something changes. And I think that's this hasn't
- 29:28helped the situation, I don't think.
- 29:30So I think that there's, there are a lot of WI groups out there
- 29:33that try specifically to appeal to like a younger age group.
- 29:36I mean, my, my friends the same age as me and was looking into
- 29:38it. What do they do?
- 29:40Everybody's got, I don't, I don't know.
- 29:43Like I said, I did actually go to one of the Wis in Norwich
- 29:47once when I was part of a group. We did like hair and makeup
- 29:51classes. So I actually did go to one once
- 29:53and it was in a pub. So it was in a pub and they had
- 29:56a room upstairs and we did like a little hair and makeup demo
- 29:59for them of vintage hair and makeup.
- 30:02And we did some like cheats hairstyles as well as like
- 30:04proper victory roles and all that kind of thing.
- 30:06And then we all, we did like a little Q&A afterwards and
- 30:10everyone had a drink. And that was, that was quite
- 30:12nice. That was quite a young crowd.
- 30:14That was quite a young crowd there.
- 30:15So I'm guessing that the topics will be different depending on
- 30:19which WI group particularly that you look at.
- 30:22I don't know how many WI groups there are around the country and
- 30:25it's 12 that are looking at closing, but it is possible that
- 30:28those 12 are all the ones that had or a lot of the ones that
- 30:32had a younger membership, which again, that was a shame and
- 30:36against the the WI. It's not going to keep appealing
- 30:40to to younger members. I think a lot of institutions
- 30:44have this problem, whereas they don't modernize in this way that
- 30:47they are going to end up to end up dying out because a lot of
- 30:50their membership is older in their kind of, you know, 70s and
- 30:5480s. Sometimes, you know, even if
- 30:56they continue to have the energy to go to meetings, you know, for
- 30:59another 10 years, you need young blood coming in.
- 31:03And it is a fact that that Gen. Z, younger millennials, older
- 31:07millennials and most sennials like or ex annuals, what am, I
- 31:12don't know, have a more progressive attitude towards
- 31:14that kind of thing. And I also think it's just a
- 31:17terrible, the Supreme Court actually came out and said that
- 31:20they definitely did not intend their ruling to exclude trans
- 31:25women from single sex associations.
- 31:27So it's been very specifically said that it's not for that.
- 31:32So WI says it's still looking for ways to support trans women
- 31:35outside of formal membership, which to me sounds like a bit of
- 31:38a cop out. I don't know about you because
- 31:41you say you say that kind of thing, but if you feel like
- 31:43you're just not wanted by an organization, you know, we can't
- 31:47allow you formal membership, but we still support you, that's a
- 31:50massive cop out. If you if you really supported
- 31:53someone, you would give them formal membership and.
- 31:55This is affected primarily the trans women that were already
- 32:00members. So at the time when, when the WI
- 32:03announced they were not going to let them in, I was reading, you
- 32:06know, people saying, well, we have trans women in our group
- 32:11and everybody like is really happy with this situation.
- 32:15Like this is this is all like new news to us, but it's a
- 32:18problem type of thing. And and they're not going to, I
- 32:21think going forward, they're not going to attract anybody.
- 32:24They're not going to attract trans women, obviously, because
- 32:27they're not accepted. But all of the trans women, the
- 32:31women that were there already have been, I'm presuming
- 32:35literally thrown out overnight, which is awful.
- 32:39And I also read something before before today that if you're
- 32:45going to really believe the Supreme Court ruling means what
- 32:49they think it means, which it doesn't.
- 32:50But you know, is that now trans men can come to the WI because
- 32:55they were assigned female at birth.
- 32:57And actually we feel quite uncomfortable about that.
- 33:00Actually, we feel a little bit more uncomfortable about that
- 33:03potentially. So again, it's what's happened
- 33:05is it's, it's just confused everything whilst you know, and
- 33:09I don't think supported many people either, you know, it's.
- 33:13Yeah, I don't understand who the kind of ruling was designed to
- 33:18benefit really. It's I'd, my personal feeling is
- 33:22that there's not a positive outcome for anyone from that
- 33:25ruling and that it's created a lot of division and controversy,
- 33:29although they kind of try and make it clear that they weren't
- 33:31intending that to happen. It obviously has created that
- 33:34division and in spaces where there was, there wasn't really
- 33:39controversy. Four, yeah.
- 33:42And that's what I've read like, well, we've had people from the
- 33:45trans community in our WI group for years and years and years.
- 33:49And it's like like it's not a problem, but now is a problem
- 33:53and they have to leave. Yeah, and they're struggling for
- 33:55membership. Don't kick people out who were
- 33:57actually interested in what you were doing.
- 33:58Right? Well, this is my point.
- 33:59And now fewer people want to join.
- 34:02And in fact, more and more are closing.
- 34:05So why don't they reverse their decision?
- 34:09I'm not entirely sure that the Supreme Court thought that it
- 34:12was going to have this much of an impact on what people
- 34:15actually did as well. And I think that's why it's been
- 34:18so long. I mean, it's been like 18 months
- 34:20or something since the ruling was made.
- 34:21And that's why it's been so long for there to be any proper
- 34:24guidance on people. And in that kind of vacuum of
- 34:27proper guidance for people, it's led to people making panic to
- 34:29decisions because they think they're going to get sued.
- 34:32So and every single of one of these cases has to go through
- 34:36the courts. And if you don't have the money
- 34:38to do that, which an organization like the WI or the
- 34:41Girl Guides may not, then that's going to be a problem for you.
- 34:45So the easiest thing to do in their minds is just to say we're
- 34:48just not going to do it, no. Let's but right away, what is
- 34:53the future for the WI? How do they modernize and where
- 34:59does the money go? You've obviously paid, don't
- 35:01you, to join the WI. Is it a charity?
- 35:04Is it just a group of like a club?
- 35:07Well, there's such a thing as a community.
- 35:10Like it's different from a charity.
- 35:11It's a community organization or something like that.
- 35:14I know that the we were a community amateur Sports Club
- 35:18when I was playing roller Derby. Let's see if they say she's
- 35:21like. It's almost like a, we know
- 35:24they've got to modernize. But I mean, it is a great idea
- 35:28to have a group. I mean, in the business world,
- 35:30it's like networking groups, isn't it?
- 35:32But you know, a community where you come together and you learn
- 35:36something or you know, and you eat cake and you chat and you
- 35:40feel safe and you have friendships and you know all of
- 35:42that. I think there's they are a
- 35:47charity by the way, and that's what Women's Institute.
- 35:50A bit of a PR exercise as well is needed because as how I
- 35:55described it, they'll probably be people listening, going.
- 35:57That's not what the WI is about. You're wrong.
- 36:00That's such an outdated view, but it's my view and and you
- 36:04need to change my view and everybody else's view to get
- 36:07people to go. And in fact that as I said, I
- 36:10did look up to see what they were doing for the next couple
- 36:12of months that are local WI and it was things like that.
- 36:15But if that's my view, that's going to be so many other
- 36:18people's views. So need to do a massive PR
- 36:21campaign, you know, make the WI cool campaign if they're going
- 36:26to drive membership up and survive and thrive going forward
- 36:32and. Then announcements like this, I
- 36:34think announcements like this will set that back yes, because
- 36:38it's not just trans women that that won't Join Now or even
- 36:40consider joining. I would I wouldn't consider
- 36:43joining my friends certainly not on there is more looking to join
- 36:47one of these new social groups when they set up.
- 36:50So that will cause real damage to people who who who do support
- 36:53trans women or support trans rights.
- 36:56I think it was really interesting actually when you
- 36:57were saying that that technically means that trans men
- 36:59can join, because in a lot of these conversations, trans men
- 37:03get kind of left out. There's a lot of.
- 37:05And yeah, it's, again, I think one thing that people will
- 37:09forget in this whole discussion is that you're allowing somebody
- 37:13else to police what it means to be a woman.
- 37:15You are allowing them control over women's bodies again.
- 37:20But I mean, how are they? What are they going to do?
- 37:22Are they asking to see your birth certificate when you
- 37:24arrive at the WI? How invasive that you can't even
- 37:27join a group without producing your birth certificate.
- 37:29And I don't know where my birth certificate, I give me anything
- 37:32that you're essentially giving them permission to question your
- 37:35femininity. And the fact that we've seen
- 37:38that in situations where people are picking on women who may be
- 37:43assigned female at birth, but have a more androgynous
- 37:46appearance, or that people, you know, they're using women's
- 37:50toilets and essentially they're getting picked on or, or pulled
- 37:53up on it by people. We're essentially giving people
- 37:55the ability to question our femininity and question what it
- 37:57means to be a woman. And I think that that's, that
- 37:59affects all women, not just trans women.
- 38:03And I think that's a really, really important thing to to
- 38:05remember in the discussion. And it's a real shame that an
- 38:08organization like the WI can't recognize that with their, with
- 38:12their policies is that they're not protecting women.
- 38:14They are in fact allowing women's rights to be rolled
- 38:17back, all women's rights 100% and carrying.
- 38:21On with the the thought that trans men have been totally
- 38:24erased for the entire conversation.
- 38:26If your worry and concern is men in your safe space, female only
- 38:32space, there is nothing to stop a man walking in or applying to
- 38:35be to the WI and saying they are a trans man.
- 38:39So again, it doesn't make you any safer.
- 38:43Like it's not. It's red herring as far as I'm
- 38:45concerned. It's not.
- 38:46You're not actually focusing on the real issue, which is
- 38:50violence against women and girls, which we know is like 99%
- 38:54fire there, so that it's a red herring here.
- 38:58And I imagine was not. Exactly rife at WI meetings.
- 39:03No, I mean this, I bet, and this is what I've been reading.
- 39:06It was such a non issue, but the the somebody in charge has made
- 39:14it a massive issue. But it was a non if that's what
- 39:17I said about like a red herring, the wrong word, But it was like,
- 39:20it's not it's not it wasn't a problem and now it is.
- 39:25So it's kind of like well done. We've just made a problem, more
- 39:28than one. And you need money to survive.
- 39:32You need members to survive. Not really.
- 39:37Maybe that's what they mean by looking for ways outside of
- 39:39formal membership. Maybe they mean please do keep
- 39:42giving us money. Well, yeah, but you know.
- 39:44You can come. It can't come officially.
- 39:46I mean, that really makes you want to join or go, doesn't that
- 39:50kind of We like you, but we don't like you, but maybe you
- 39:52can come, but maybe you can't come.
- 39:53But this is. Exactly the kind of thing that
- 39:55could have allowed the WI to make itself a name as a more
- 39:58progressive organization. And one that might attract
- 40:01younger women. But here we are.
- 40:03Watch this space for the future of the WI.
- 40:13I want to finish. We're talking about the Chinese
- 40:16Year of the horse. It was Chinese New Year
- 40:18yesterday and we are, it's Wednesday today.
- 40:21We record in advance and I've seen quite a few articles about
- 40:27how millennials, I don't know why millennials just stick with
- 40:31me. Millennials are embracing the
- 40:35year of the horse more than ever before.
- 40:37So, so people who have never paid much interest in like the
- 40:42Chinese New Year and the year of the whatever are suddenly going
- 40:47viral on TikTok making videos about it.
- 40:51And the press has picked up on there saying, oh, this is quite
- 40:53interesting. So I thought we could just end
- 40:55today on the year of the horse. So last year, it was the year of
- 41:00the. Snake.
- 41:01I knew that one. And this year is the year of the
- 41:05horse. And so people weren't
- 41:06interested. They now are.
- 41:08And here's what here's what I found out.
- 41:11The snake is all about shedding your past trauma and the horse
- 41:16is about a clean slate if you like.
- 41:19So people are very excited about, I mean, I think
- 41:21predominantly about how shit the world is and how life has been
- 41:26really quite rubbish lately and lots of trauma, whether we're
- 41:31looking at trauma of other people on the news, worldwide
- 41:35trauma, our own trauma, like it was, you know, it's been a bit
- 41:39rough, hasn't it? I think we can all agree with
- 41:40that and people are excited. But apparently as of yesterday,
- 41:45that's all going to change. You can tell I'm slightly
- 41:48cynical in my, in my belief of all and the Zodiac and spiritual
- 41:53and all that. But, but with me, So yes, the
- 41:56year of the horse means it's all about taking risk, it's about
- 42:01rebellion, it's about courage, it's about freedom, it's about
- 42:05creativity, it's about compassion.
- 42:07So everyone's very excited that we've shedded away our trauma
- 42:12and we are now going to be much freer and rebel.
- 42:16And I think this is feeling that life's going to get better
- 42:19because we're, you know, we're going to kick back and push
- 42:23back. And yeah, that's what everybody
- 42:25has been talking about. Apparently these millennials,
- 42:28not me millennials, we're here for a bit of rebellion though,
- 42:33right? Well, first of all, when I was
- 42:36doing my research, I was like, well, I'm in rebelling since I
- 42:38was 13 years old. What's all this rubbish?
- 42:41Maybe I'm permanently in the year of the horse heart.
- 42:44I also, as somebody that doesn't actually really kind of kind of
- 42:49believes the right word, engage, embrace with all of this kind of
- 42:52stuff. I'm like, I'm loving the
- 42:54positivity here, guys that next year is going to be better.
- 42:58Or, you know, have we basically just had enough of all this shit
- 43:01and it's time to kickback then? And then it all got a bit woo
- 43:05woo for me. Everything I was reading about
- 43:08how I'm going to look at my notes, apparently it's a 5 horse
- 43:12year and I was like, you've lost me.
- 43:13Which is means it's especially strong.
- 43:15It's an especially strong year. And the last time it has been a
- 43:19fire horse year was 1966. And that was a year of huge
- 43:22social upheaval. I didn't look into what that
- 43:26social upheaval was, but obviously there's a lot going on
- 43:28in. Football is the only thing that
- 43:30comes to my mind when I think of 1966 when we win the World Cup.
- 43:34Yeah, but I don't think. By by way I mean like England I.
- 43:39Don't think that's relevant here, although taking risk, but
- 43:43ultimately, you know, like life really started to change in the
- 43:46late 60s and there was a social upheaval because before that it
- 43:49was the 50s and the early 60s which was very conservative
- 43:51etcetera, etcetera. Anyway, so apparently I do keep
- 43:56mentioning the word millennials because I think it's quite
- 43:58interesting. So I think we're all hoping that
- 44:00we can shed off the shit from last year and the year before
- 44:04and start new. But I thought let's end talking
- 44:07about all of this because I find it fascinating and it's not
- 44:11something I am I like really get involved with.
- 44:15So I'm going to ask on the first.
- 44:16My first question to you is, do you believe in all this stuff?
- 44:21I've had this before, I have said this before.
- 44:24I have this thing where yes, I love a bit of woo woo.
- 44:27I'm really into it, but I also love science and facts.
- 44:31So I have this real thing in my head where I I will believe in
- 44:36this stuff and I will be like, yes, this is great until all of
- 44:40a sudden someone starts telling me I should believe in it.
- 44:42And then I'm like, oh shut up. That's rubbish.
- 44:44There's no scientific evidence for this.
- 44:46So I have, I do have a bit of a internal battle sometimes.
- 44:50I have been considering doing a series about woo woo things like
- 44:53weekly woo woo and like trying things out, like doing some
- 44:57Reiki and doing some stuff like that.
- 44:58And there's a great book by David R Hamilton thing called
- 45:02Why we, We works, which I would recommend you read, which is
- 45:04very interesting. But I do, I do love all this
- 45:07stuff. And it was Lunar New Year
- 45:09yesterday. So I am always I'm very into
- 45:12kind of like using the moon as a structure to hang things off
- 45:17that you try and, you know, work up to things in the full moon.
- 45:21And then as the new moon arrives, it's a period of rest
- 45:24and like reflects action on what you've achieved.
- 45:26That's great. I you know, I love all that.
- 45:28I'm not the kind of Chinese New Year animals.
- 45:30I'm not always entirely up off. But I did like I had seen a
- 45:34couple of things about the concept of it being the year of
- 45:37the shake, that the year of the snake was about shedding and
- 45:41getting rid of those things. And then the year of the horse
- 45:44was going to be like progressive and moving forward.
- 45:46And I like that as a concept was that did did that did very much
- 45:50appeal to me. So whether I believe in these
- 45:53things or not is an interesting question, but I think they can
- 45:56be beneficial to us as a psyche, regardless of whether or not
- 46:00they're true. So if we think we're going to
- 46:03shed and move forward, that is a good thing, whether that's
- 46:07actually because it's the year of the horse.
- 46:09Or just because it's the year of the horse and therefore we think
- 46:11we're going to do it is fine by me.
- 46:13What about your like signs of the Zodiac?
- 46:15So what sign are you and what does that mean?
- 46:18I am a Taurus, a bull. I believe yes, it is.
- 46:21It's an earth sign and I'm stubborn.
- 46:23OK, like a bull. This is very true.
- 46:26Yes, my stubborn kind of grounded generally.
- 46:30Generally I identify with that, though I do think a lot of the
- 46:33Zodiac signs contain, you can read whatever you want into
- 46:37them. Do you know what I mean?
- 46:38Like if you, if you told me I was an Aquarius and started
- 46:40reading some of the things in that, I'd go, Oh yeah, that
- 46:42describes me probably. I don't, I don't, I don't know,
- 46:45signs of the Zodiac. A bit more out there I guess
- 46:49though, you know, you do want to read your horoscope and
- 46:51horoscope and have it tell you that today's going to be
- 46:53fantastic. What sign are you?
- 46:54I'm a Leo, and when you read the characteristics of a Leo, I am
- 46:58everything that a Leo is, which is sort of.
- 47:00I can see you as a Leo. Attention and loud and
- 47:04flamboyant and it's funny because I don't like I I
- 47:08actually think it's all a load of rubbish.
- 47:10However, when I, as you said, when I read the Leo, I'm like,
- 47:14well, yeah, my husband is a Libra and he can't make a
- 47:17decision at all, even to, you know, here's the menu of the of
- 47:21you know, and he'll take so long and the waiter will come and
- 47:25back and backwards and forwards can't make a decision.
- 47:27And I always do this like scales thing with him, like a Libra,
- 47:31you know, like can't make a decision and get.
- 47:33So yeah, I think it's rubbish. But but then I read it and go,
- 47:36but that makes sense. So I'm, I suppose, very
- 47:40hypocritical. I was going to say all
- 47:42contradictory because in because I kind of think and then you
- 47:44think, as you said, you can read stuff into anything.
- 47:48And if suddenly I was told I was a Taurus, I'm also incredibly
- 47:52stubborn, stubborn. I'm quite grounded, stubborn.
- 47:55Dependable. I think we're kind of considered
- 47:57plotters, I think, and I would probably consider myself a
- 48:01plodder sometimes, but everybody probably is a plodder at some
- 48:04time. Do you know what I mean?
- 48:05So then as you you said, it's what you mean, but the the.
- 48:08Year of the animal I've never really understood because I've
- 48:12never actually paid any attention, I have to say.
- 48:15But then again, we don't it's not our culture.
- 48:17So like, why would I have done? But I love, I really love the
- 48:22idea of rebellion this year because I feel like there really
- 48:28needs to be some fricking rebellion going on.
- 48:32But is it just wishful thinking though?
- 48:34Feel like the kind of calendar new year is that what it's
- 48:37called solar new year calendar the year, whatever it is that we
- 48:41call it January 2026. Yes, everyone kind of started it
- 48:45with like this positive attitudes that we were going to
- 48:48get things were going to change. It was going to be an amazing
- 48:50year. This was going to be our year
- 48:51and then January happened and January was a political and
- 48:55social healthscape. So we kind of came out the other
- 48:58side of when someone told us there was another new year we
- 49:00could have in February. I do feel a bit like everyone
- 49:03went, Oh my God, yes, please, let's have another new year.
- 49:07Let's start again. January didn't count, let's try
- 49:09again. And then I even saw something
- 49:11this morning from a Scottish witch because again I am into
- 49:15all this kind of stuff. So I follow this, the Scottish
- 49:18witch women. He was saying that don't panic
- 49:21if you thought in bulk. So the kind of start of spring
- 49:24and stuff was over at the beginning of February.
- 49:26Don't panic. It goes on longer than that.
- 49:28It includes the lunar New Year and then, you know, all the way
- 49:31up to the full moon. We're still growing and still
- 49:33things are growing in the Earth. So don't worry, don't worry.
- 49:36We've got plenty of time, but it's not going to be awful
- 49:38forever was essentially what she was saying is that we're still
- 49:41in the midst of this period of change.
- 49:43There's no specific time that just because it's Lunar New Year
- 49:49today does not mean that all of a sudden we're going to flick
- 49:51over into this this new way of being that it's a gradual gross
- 49:57periods that we go through inbox.
- 49:58Traditionally the the 1st of February.
- 50:01She was saying that in Scotland they would associate that more
- 50:08with lunar cycles. So then, you know, more into the
- 50:10into the new year because they look at they didn't have a
- 50:12calendar. They would look at what they can
- 50:13see in the sky and therefore that maybe that's the start of
- 50:16the new year. So Lunar New Year, but also that
- 50:19you've still got time that it's that things are still growing.
- 50:22Spring doesn't come around all at once, does it?
- 50:24You know, you see those little snowdrop buds coming through and
- 50:28you get that little positive vibe, but it doesn't kind of get
- 50:31all into full. Bloom.
- 50:34Until, yeah, for like a month, couple of months.
- 50:37So we've still got crime. And that's a, that's a nice,
- 50:39even if you don't believe in some of the woo woo behind it.
- 50:42That's a nice concept right there.
- 50:44Yeah. Oh, we're slowly blooming.
- 50:47Or you can just believe that you can make a change at any time.
- 50:51It could be the 3rd of November or October or June, you know, IE
- 50:57you don't have to wait for the start of the lunar year, the
- 51:01start of can the year, the Chinese New Year, you know, you
- 51:04can just make a change. Or I do like, yeah, I love the
- 51:11idea though that I think what my understanding of the Chinese New
- 51:15Year, it's the whole year. You know, we are very like on
- 51:19the 1st of January, it's going to be a new me on that day.
- 51:25And if you haven't done it on that day and it's the fourth,
- 51:27you go, Oh, well, next year, you know?
- 51:30What I mean? Yeah, I'll wait another year
- 51:32before I quit alcohol or whatever it is you're going to
- 51:35do, whereas this is this whole year.
- 51:37And I think that's quite exciting and interesting and
- 51:40something we don't necessarily look at.
- 51:42It's always like day one. It's all about day one, whether
- 51:46it's the loony, you know, whichever one it is.
- 51:48Whereas it's like this is whole year ahead.
- 51:50And during this year we're going to be freer.
- 51:53We're going to be more creative, we're going to be more
- 51:55rebellious. And I think I like that as a
- 51:58philosophy. And I feel like we should be a
- 52:00little bit better at that because we just are we, I mean,
- 52:03the Western world actually really, you know, it's like day
- 52:06one. And if you haven't done it on
- 52:07day one, you've failed and just write it off.
- 52:09Is that because we're so impatient?
- 52:11Do you think, think, see what? Again, it's not my culture, but
- 52:13I believe that celebrations for Chinese New Year, they don't
- 52:16just have like one night like we do that.
- 52:17These are celebrations that go on over several days.
- 52:19So they do spread these things out.
- 52:21As far as I'm aware, I do think in the Western world, we very
- 52:24much have this sense of immediacy and it may well relate
- 52:28back to the nonsense we were talking about in the first
- 52:31segment where we were talking about hard work.
- 52:33And you know, we've got 1 and productivity and outcomes is
- 52:36that that we think of that more than we think of things as a
- 52:39process, which I do think is a shame.
- 52:42And that's something that again, sometimes you can find these
- 52:46things, whether they work or not is it doesn't matter if they
- 52:49work for you is my woo woo attitude.
- 52:52So it doesn't matter if crystals give off specific vibrations.
- 52:55If hanging on to 1 makes you feel good, agree.
- 53:00So if you feel the need, if you feel like the new moon gives you
- 53:03a chance to make a new and a fresh start and to achieve
- 53:06things, then fantastic, then go for it.
- 53:08If like you, you can make a fresh start at 4:00 on a Tuesday
- 53:13afternoon, great, go for it. Some of us like to hang it off
- 53:17something random so that we can give ourselves.
- 53:19I'll get some goals. And I think that that's, that's
- 53:22absolutely fine. Hang it off, whatever you like,
- 53:24but a little bit of a change in mindset to look at things as
- 53:26more of a conversation with ourselves, a progress that
- 53:31because it's the Lunar New Year, even if we're believing in the
- 53:34year of the, the horse, that the fire horse was it?
- 53:37Because it's yes, that was it. Even if we are believing in
- 53:39that, that doesn't mean that on the 18th of February, you're
- 53:42going to wake up and we're all going to be rebellious and it's
- 53:45going to be a theme for the year rather than an immediate change.
- 53:48We don't flick from one to the other.
- 53:50I think that's right. It's like a theme for the year.
- 53:53There are, have you seen people as this thing, you know, they
- 53:56have a word for the year. I don't know if it's just
- 53:58entrepreneurs because like, I never heard of anything like
- 54:01that, you know, and my, you know, my, you know.
- 54:04I do, I do. I used to do word of the month
- 54:06but well. Yeah, it won't.
- 54:08Well, it's not new to me. Now I've worked with solo
- 54:11entrepreneurs. I've been doing their marketing
- 54:13for them and they're very into the word of the year, the theme
- 54:15of the year. But I think if I ask my husband,
- 54:18you know, what's your word of the year be like?
- 54:19What? So I do think there's a certain
- 54:21person or environment and maybe it's just hanging out on
- 54:24Instagram a lot, but it's it's sort of a similar concept that,
- 54:27you know, it's this year, it's going to be about growth for me,
- 54:30for example, it's not that isn't, I don't have a word of
- 54:33the year. It might be growth, it might be
- 54:36flourish, it might whatever, whatever it is.
- 54:39And in fact, I think rebellion is going to be mine.
- 54:41I suppose that's kind of what the this brings in a way.
- 54:44It's sort of similar, but I think most people that I speak
- 54:48to anyway don't have the thing with the word of the, the word
- 54:52of the year is it's quite positive.
- 54:54Your word of the year isn't going to be, you know, shit.
- 54:57It's not going to be hibernate. It's not going to be, you know,
- 55:00it might be in retrospect. But.
- 55:02Yeah, my word of the year is going to be failure.
- 55:08You know, it's, that's not what your word of the year is going
- 55:10to be. So it's really, really hopeful.
- 55:13And I think that's it's, it's really, I think if we can
- 55:17encourage everybody to be more like that, as in, you know, what
- 55:19is it you want to focus on and, and how do you want to be or
- 55:23live this year? But we don't.
- 55:25It's all about what you're going to give up, how you're going to
- 55:27be better. Yeah, well, you can change about
- 55:30yourself, isn't it? It's very most people, it's
- 55:33quite negative. You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
- 55:35lose weight. And that might be not be
- 55:37negative, that might be positive.
- 55:38But it's, it's taking something away, changing.
- 55:40It's something hard because. Yeah, it has to be hard thing
- 55:44with an end goal and there is no there is no process there is I
- 55:49am going to be this person. There's no process to your hard
- 55:52work. There's no there's no again,
- 55:54it's not it's not even SMART goals.
- 55:56If you were going to think about that, you know that you have to
- 55:58have that progress to get there, but you're going to break your
- 56:01goals up quarterly or whatever. Even if you're taking the woo
- 56:04woo out all of all of that SMART goal setting isn't there either.
- 56:08We, we want that kind of immediate quick fix.
- 56:11And I, I think if things like having a word of the year or a
- 56:16focus like that can help people treat things more like a
- 56:21process, I think it's, I think it's great regardless.
- 56:23I think calling things woo. Woo sometimes pushes people away
- 56:27from things that could genuinely benefit them, which is which is
- 56:30a shame, but I don't think that is woo Woo, you know, having a
- 56:32focus for the year and a what whether it's a word, whether
- 56:36it's, you know, theme, you know, I don't I don't think that as
- 56:39woo woo. I think when come back to the
- 56:41beginning, I think Zodiac and and because it's kind of I think
- 56:46it's to do with the packaging, it's a bit PR, which is what
- 56:48we're just talking about. It's the PR of it all.
- 56:51Is it anything that's sort of what's your focus for the year?
- 56:56What's your you know, how do I live your life, for example, is
- 56:59packaged as being woo woo and spiritual, but it's not.
- 57:03It is when you maybe say it's linked to a little sign that
- 57:06looks like this and you have to you know, or whatever.
- 57:08I think it would be great if we could be more.
- 57:11How can, how can we not? How can we change, but how can
- 57:16we grow? I think, and I think that's
- 57:18something we could all probably be better at.
- 57:20That was perfect. Not how can we change?
- 57:23How can we grow? I love that.
- 57:25I feel like hard work. Yeah, I feel like There you go.
- 57:29Perfect ending. Not how can we change?
- 57:30How can we grow? Thank you for joining us for
- 57:33another round up of midlife chat, hot takes and occasional
- 57:36moaning. Well, quite a bit of moaning.
- 57:38Make sure you hit subscribe so your podcast app gently nudges
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- 57:55women like you find us. Have a great weekend everyone
- 57:58and make sure you find time for yourself.
- 58:00You deserve it.