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95: The Truth Behind Achievement and Sacrifice w/ Jimmy Rex · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:14
  Welcome back to the harder life podcast where we deep dive into stories that inspire and challenge today I'm thrilled to introduce a guest who embodies the spirit of transformation and tenacity Jimmy rats and a claim real estate mogul and a Vanguard and personal development Jimmy has not only dominated the business landscape But also captivated hearts with compelling insights and humanitarian efforts author of the life-changing book be one
• 0:40
  He empowers individuals to live authentically and maximize their potential. Today, he joins us to explore the profound lessons and strategies from his book and inspire us to lead fulfilling lives. Please welcome Jimmy Rex. Dude, Kelly, I need you to introduce me every time. I appreciate that. You know...
• 0:57
  I got a bunch of questions. This book, I'm going to ask you, let's start off with what inspired you to write this book, B1, and what do you hope the readers take away from it? You know, it's interesting because I've had my coaching program now. It's a coaching program designed to help men just become the best version of themselves. And I started coaching with Ed Milat one-on-one a couple of years ago. And he was the one that actually said, hey, man, we have to get your message to the masses.
• 1:19
  He said, you need to write a book and take everything that you're doing, take the lessons you're teaching these men and get it into a book. He's like, I'll help you. So he actually got me the book deal with his publisher, wrote the forward for the book and really helped me design kind of what the format or just the blueprint of what that needed to be. And so that's the reason the book came about. I'm gonna throw a curve ball. And just for the cameras, I'm gonna show all the pages that I pegged back
• 1:48
  are the impactful ones that I said. This book was great.
• 1:53
  I believe this is a love self-love book. Yeah. You know, it's funny that you say that. So the book originally, as I started writing it, in fact, I, cause I wanted to get my next book. I had a book come out about three, four years ago and this was going to be my next book. But I originally was writing a book about my journey to self-love and it was called, it was me all along what I learned about love after a thousand first dates. And it was all about my journey to find self-love. And so the book has a lot of that undertone because that's what the book started as. I always wondered,
• 2:22
  who the they were, and I'm meeting they. So I am super proud of you. I know you don't probably get that very often being at your level. And if you read this book, guys, and follow it, you will live a fulfilling life. And I tell you, it's also a love story. So we got to figure out, are you still single? Because it said in the book, you're single. So I'm in a relationship right now, yeah.
• 2:45
  Congrats. I figured if you're going to write this, you put that out in the universe, it's going to come back to you. So there's a specific part. The chat. It's funny because my most favorite chapter was the bonus chapter about how you attract. So tell me a little bit if you want. Is that OK? We're going to. Yeah, sure. Yeah.
• 3:03
  Well, you know, it's so often, and you know, you see more and more people that, uh, you know, being single as long as I was too, you learn a lot of things. And I had to unlearn a lot of things as well. And I had just some bad wiring and bad messaging about what I thought. I thought I was going to find that person you don't fight with. I was going to find the person that's your perfect match. I think a lot of people have that idea, right? That you just find the perfect person and that's your love and everything else. And the truth is, is, uh, you become, uh,
• 3:29
  that person, right? You become the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. And then you attract in the person that's going to be a good match for that. And so ultimately, when we focus on all the other people or what's out there, and that's why, you know, it was me all along was the title of the book originally of what I was writing is because I
• 3:49
  You have to discover eventually at some point you got to go, Hey, I'm the problem here. Like I'm the person that needs to be fixed. I'm the one that needs to kind of look at some things here and change some things so that I can attract in the person I want to spend my life with. I would add to that. You're the problem, which are also the solution. So to, to have it being, I'm in a relationship and the reason why we're late, I'm going to tease against her. I'm obviously it's 10 o'clock my time. So it's, it's late for me. So I, I'm, I was up and they went to the gym and got here. Um,
• 4:18
  And the whole way over here, I'm thinking about you and I'm thinking, hey, B1, what am I supposed to do? What is this activating in me? And I'm just breathing through it. And we're communicating and I'm like, what's the big deal? But I know that your schedule is packed and I knew you'd have back to back and I want to have maximized time with you because I think that we're going to be.
• 4:35
  longtime friends. So if you're not following Jimmy Rex, Mr. Jimmy Rex on all socials, get out, order a B1. It is a page turner. I read it about three days. I tagged you on it and I couldn't put it down. Why is being the one
• 4:53
  So darn hard. Why? I live my life like this through and through. Everything you do, I'm like, oh, that's... If you read... I brought you a copy of my book. You're going to read the same things. I love it. But the world needs this. Why are we the outliners? And why... I mean, I know why we are the they. And why... But why is it so hard to follow the principles to be one? Well, I mean, I think...
• 5:18
  Life is a little bit difficult, right? I think we have to be honest about that. It's, you know, life never keeps coming at you. Like I have guys that have been in my program now for two and a half years, and they're just now being hit with the hardest thing in their life. And so I think sometimes we default to feeling like, you know, where we get in troubles and we start to think that we deserve to have an easier life. My favorite author of all time is David Dita. He wrote the book, The Way of the Superior Man. And in that book, he actually was one of the guys I hired to coach me a couple of years ago as well, one-on-one.
• 5:45
  And because I just when I find somebody that is where I want to be, I can collapse time by being directly involved with that person. Right. And so I've done that with Ed. I did that with Dave and other people. Neil Strauss that you mentioned before this call. And so when I was working with Dave, he mentioned this. He said that, you know, as men, the biggest mistake that you can make is wishing that life gets easier.
• 6:06
  Because it's just never going to. And that's the mistake that a lot of people think is like, one day I'm going to be happy. One day this thing's going to get easier. And it doesn't. Because all that happens, in order to be fulfilled, this is Tony Robbins 101, we have to have growth all the time. So no matter what hill you climb or what mountain you get to the top of,
• 6:23
  God in his infinite wisdom made sure that you're going to have a new trial to keep you fulfilled from there. A new thing to chase, a new thing to go after, a new thing to conquer, whatever that might be. And so I think just changing the frame of realizing, and Jordan Peterson talks about this all the time too, is like, hey, you know, life is going to be miserable in a lot of different ways. It's the beauty of this thing is finding...
• 6:43
  the reason to make it worth it. And so as long as you change that mindset of like, Hey, this is going to one day be easier. Then all of a sudden all these challenges. So you've learned to take challenges head on as, as a gift. And I think that's the thing is you want to change that mindset where you go, I don't want my life to be easier. I want to learn from this. I want to get the new experience. I want to see where the growth comes next. I remember coming into 2020, I'd been on a five-year heater, you know,
• 7:07
  for like from, you know, 2015 to 2020, where my life could not have been easier. Like it really could not have been easier at that point. I was in flow. My real estate business was on cruise control. I was traveling the world. I went to over a hundred countries, you know, it was just, I was the guy that, I mean, literally the NBA team here in Utah, what the players would call me to throw a party. Like they're like, dude, we got to have another party. Come on. Like you're the guy that,
• 7:31
  I mean, my life really was that easy. And I had amazing friends, amazing girlfriends, all these different things. But I'd stopped progressing and growing because I was just in this fun phase. And coming into 2020, I said to all my friends, I said, dude, I'm going to have a really hard year. They said, why? And I said, because I'm ready to grow again.
• 7:51
  And I was not expecting 2020 to be what it was. I was not born for a pandemic world. I got in a car wreck. A guy got drunk on the freeway and parked his car. And the car in front of me swerved at the last second. I hit it going 80 miles an hour. A parked car on the freeway almost died. I had a girlfriend that...
• 8:06
  you know, had some very difficult things happen to her right when we started dating and really caused some issues that we had to work through. And I had an investment that I made in a tech company that in one day I lost over $20 million and one day I made over $25 million. It was a crazy, crazy year.
• 8:23
  It was just I grew more in that one year than I had in the previous five or ten. And it's because I wanted it. I signed up for it. I told the universe, hey, I'm ready for this again. I want to grow. So I think somebody like you, you're just willing to step into it. You're willing to take on the challenge. You're willing to step in the arena. And when you put that out, you're not afraid to take risks. And you're not afraid to really just try stuff. And, you know, that's.
• 8:45
  one of the things that Ed would say to me all the time, he's like the most successful people simply take action. They don't need to know it's going to work. They don't need to know they're going to get an outcome that they want. And they just do it. And in that you end up discovering what you like, what you don't, and you end up finding your purpose. And then when you have purpose, everything becomes passion. If you don't have purpose behind it, if you don't, if you're not good at what you're doing, if you don't enjoy what you're doing, it all feels like stress. But if you love it, it just feels like passion. And so you're driven to do it because it's fun.
• 9:15
  Love the difficulty. I'm in the middle of it right now, man. With my, I own an IT company that's tremendously successful. We're redoing everything there. And then I decided at the same time, launch the Heart of the Life brand. And it's like, everything is difficult right now. You wouldn't know it. And I gotta keep reminding myself. Because all I ever know is be hard in life. Run right into it. And actually, that's what I've always done. That's what got me here. It's not gonna get me there. It's surrendering and allowing and being.
• 9:45
  And it's the hardest thing, Jimmy. Got any advice from you? Well, no, and so I actually, so last year, I, you know, my thing is I don't ever, you're probably like me, I don't need anyone to ever motivate me. Like I'm just a motivated human. Like I need help slowing down, right? My problem is doing less, slowing down. So I was working with a brilliant man last year, Stephanos Safandos, he's a relationship coach. He's been on the podcast, great guy. I really love him. Yep, so I hired him again to be my one-on-one coach. I said, Stephanos, I think you're the best in the world at this. I got some shit I want to figure out.
• 10:14
  And he, you know, one meeting with him and he told me, he's a Jimmy. He said, the answers we seek are in silence and solace. So you've got to slow down. There's a third one, silence, solace. And what was it? Solitude. Solitude. Sure. Yeah. It's, it's, so he would make me go into the woods, you know, thankfully here in Utah, we have beautiful nature within 10 minute drive everywhere. And I would just sit, no phone, no stimulus, nobody else with me and just sit for hour or two every single week, a couple of times a week.
• 10:39
  And just let life be. And in that, there was a lot of slowing down that I've been able to do and just allow things and surrender to what things are. And, you know, I think when I get in trouble, when any human gets in trouble, we have this expectation of what something's supposed to be. The second we need something to be a certain way and it's not, we feel pain around that thing. Right. And usually it's not even our own expectation.
• 11:01
  So the very act of surrender, we hear it all the time. You hear it a lot in the, you know, the community, but the very act of doing that is just going, you know what? I accept everything as it is. And here's the key that my buddy told me. If you really want to be happy, then the second part of it is, and don't wish it was any different.
• 11:19
  Kicking me in the butt right now, man. That'll change everything. That's how it feels. I got to tell you, I'm loving the energy. And, man, you're the real deal, and I really appreciate it. Stefano is probably the reason why you got in a relationship. That boy is handsome. We did a role play. And to go back, to give an idea how I got first introduced to Neil Strauss is I read his book, The Game, because –
• 11:40
  My friends are like, man, you literally could have written this book. Because back in the day when I was partying, pre-Heart of the Life days, I was like, you, it's just, I'm on my boat. I'm ripping at women everywhere. I used to say I was a drunken whore, so all I ever attracted was drunken whores. And, you know, it's a little harsh, but it's true. And being able to say that pretty easily without, is how I healed. But that game, that was something else. So those two guys, you really freaking leveled up. Well, and the reason I...
• 12:08
  Specifically, I seeked out Nils because he came out 10 years later with the book The Truth and basically called bullshit on the whole thing. Like this lifestyle was really not the way to do things. Essentially, I mean, Nils very much let it be what it is. But and so the reason I hired Nils because he was where I was and he had gotten to where I wanted to be.
• 12:26
  And so that's the person that, you know, I, and Stefan is kind of the same thing. Be a student of the game is where I was going with that. It's so weird. I just had an epiphany that I read the truth when I was here in Utah on a ski trip in 2016. I adore Neil. I follow him. He's just, he's a brilliant man. Um,
• 12:47
  I wrote in something in here about, oh, so it's no, you wrote in the book that you're, you've left the church, but you still believe in God, right? Yeah. So all these things happening during your difficult times, do you believe that there's signs from God pointing you in the right direction? Yeah.
• 13:04
  Yeah, I mean, the one thing that I knew, and this was kind of just a gift that I had, is I'd had some experiences where I knew that God knew me. I don't know how else to say that. Like, really knew me, like understood me, like found humor in who I was as a human being. And so when I would do things,
• 13:20
  If I screwed it up, I think I gave myself a lot of grace because I think God was just kind of laughing. Like, you're not going to believe what this Jimmy guy did today. How do you give yourself grace? Because if I told you the things that I say, like, that's the only thing that I really have left. It's I'm hard on myself, man.
• 13:36
  Yeah. And I, most people are, and I mean, you have to just understand it just doesn't serve you. Like, what does it help to be that hard on yourself? Like, obviously you want to learn lessons so you don't repeat them, but ultimately let that shit go. I mean, that's, it's really that simple. It's like, who are you serving by hanging onto that, you know, or by punishing yourself? Um, I always tell my guys, I say, there's no honor in self-sacrifice to beat yourself up for no reason. It's not honorable. There's no, there's no good in that. There's no reason to do that.
• 14:03
  Anytime you send me a text, remind me, because I need it. You briefly talked about motivation and action. So how do you lead these We Are The They men
• 14:16
  When not everybody wakes up and hits the ground and knows, that's what I'm hearing. I hear you say, I wake up and it's time to go. That's how I am. She sees it. I wake up. It's, dude, hell is coming and I'm coming with it. How do you motivate people that aren't as naturally motivated as you and I seem to be? I mean, you don't motivate somebody by telling them what to do. You don't motivate them even by showing them what to do. You motivate people. I think there's two things. Number one is they've just got to have a bigger reason.
• 14:45
  Like, so it's helping them understand the reason why. I mean, we hear it all the time. Find your why, you know, what's your reason. But Tony Robbins, he has the perfect formula for getting shit done. Like literally it's the perfect formula. A, you get very clear on what you want to do. B, you figure out why you want to do it. And you attach all the emotion of it to that why.
• 15:02
  Once you've got enough emotion behind it, so you ask yourself better questions, right? Like who suffers if I don't do it? Who benefits if I do do it? And you really internalize how you can change the lives of people you care about. And all of a sudden that why has a lot of emotion behind it. Then you just come up with a massive action plan. You literally map it out, start with the end in mind, and you build it backwards. And then you just work the plan. And you're willing to work the plan because that why is your driver.
• 15:28
  And you're so motivated to do it. And it's really that simple. The second thing that I'll say is if somebody has behaviors they need to change,
• 15:37
  The mistake that a lot of people make is thinking, especially coaches, is that I can change this person. And you can't. The only thing you can do is create a container that's safe enough for them to be inspired to change themselves. And so I'm obsessed with the container. I'm obsessed with creating spaces where men will want to come first. So that's why my program is so fun. I jump off cliffs and swim with sharks and go...
• 15:59
  do crazy shit all the time, or I took 70 guys to run with the bulls in Spain. If I can create a container that's fun enough, then you'll want to be there. Once you're there, we can then use, you know, all these different skills and storytelling and the different things to inspire you to then have your own inspiration of how you need to change. And then in that, when you are the one that says, oh, it's time for me to do something different, you're going to want to do the change. And that's when lasting change happens.
• 16:27
  And you're a beautiful human being. I'm sitting over here at all loving this, taking notes. Like, this is fantastic. If you're not following Jimmy, Mr. Jimmy Rex, get this book. This guy's the real deal, folks. I'm enjoying every minute of this. I haven't even asked any of the freaking questions. We got to get back to the book. So you're a student of the game like I am. We've read Ed Milet's book and all of the personal development books out there. So how does B1 differ from all the other self-help books in today's market? You know, I think...
• 16:57
  there's truths that when you hear them, you just know they're true. Right. And so when you hear David Goggins speak or Jocko Willock or whoever it is, just any of these guys, like you just hear them say things, you go, yeah, I know that to be true. Like your soul just kind of knows. And so I think each person is able to just tell a message in a way that whoever their audience is can respond to that message. So I'll give you an example in my book. In fact, Friday night I was at a little kind of like a house party, but it wasn't like a party. It was just a bunch of people hanging out.
• 17:27
  And me, you know, and this girl I'm dating, we're sitting outside on, on the lawn, on a blanket and just kind of talking. And, and this kid kind of starts walking about 25, starts walking towards us. He says, Hey, can I sit with you guys for a minute? I said, yeah, no problem, man.
• 17:39
  And, and he sits down and he says, I got a question for you that I want to ask you, Jim. I've been following you for a long time. I listened to your podcast. And he said, cause I didn't really, I didn't know him before this night. And he said, how do you help a friend that's suicidal? And when he asked me that question, so my favorite part in the book is starts on page 16. I have a friend that was suicidal and I asked him how you help that person. And I had him explain what the, it is to be in that state. And he's a,
• 18:06
  beautiful, um, uh, orator of words. And so the way he explained it, I put it word for word in the book. It's about four pages of the book. I said, dude, I actually have a book in my car. I could explain this to you, but let me actually read you exactly what this is. And so I got up, I went and got the book and while I was gone, he told this girl I'm dating. He said, uh, he said, Hey, don't tell Jim Ed. I don't want him to like think less of me, but, um, it's me that's, you know, and I kind of knew anyway, but, and, uh, so I go get the book and I read this part.
• 18:35
  and kind of explain this. And, you know, he sent me a message the next day on Instagram of, you know, it literally was life-changing for him just to hear. He's like, yes, like, you get me. You understand what this is. Like, you understand what somebody's going through through this.
• 18:50
  And so like, for example, whatever reason God used me to help that man and the fact that he just happens to listen to my stuff and I happen to have the answer exact answer he needed. And so I don't think there's accidents on that stuff. I think that we're all guides to different people. And my book's not for everyone. I'm not for everyone. You know, even calling the book, the subtitle is how to be a healthy man in toxic times. The publisher fought me for three months to change that to how to be a healthy human. And I said, look.
• 19:16
  This is for men. This is like women want to read this book too because it's going to help their man and understand him and all these things. But this is how to help a man live a healthy life in these crazy times that we're in. And so I kept, I fought for that title. I said, I'm willing to walk off this deal for this title. Like this is really important to me.
• 19:32
  And so I think ultimately what's in my book, it's my path. I'm very vulnerable. I, I talk a lot through my own experiences and I talk a lot about friendship. I think the one thing that is my superpower is, you know, I always put my friends first. I always put friends ahead of everything else, including my romantic relationships up till recently. And so I did learn how to become a best friend to a lot of people. And I would argue, I don't know anybody I've ever met that has as many deep, close friends as I do.
• 20:02
  as many best friends, amazing humans that a guy could ever hope for. And so when I started going into coaching in the first place or my program, it was funny because I felt like an imposter killer. I'm like, well, who am I to tell people how to live? Like, how am I going to be a coach? Like, I don't know what to do. I'm a real estate guy. But the one thing that people kept asking me,
• 20:20
  is, Jimmy, how do I find a group of friends like you have? It's just over and over on Instagram. There's constantly people asking me. And so I knew. Be one. Yes, exactly. Yeah, whatever you want, be more of, right? But I knew that like, oh, oh, this is going to be a men's group. I need to teach men how to connect and how to form real friendships. So we go last night to this event that, you know, just happened to be at my headquarters. There's 200 people there. They all met.
• 20:44
  through this program. And like every single one of them has become best friends. That is the thing that I think I do best. And so like, I think what I can help a lot of guys do being single as long as I was, I think I went through a lot. I think I experienced a lot. I think I have a lot of firsthand knowledge. And so I do understand men on the deepest levels and I understand how to form community, understand how to form friendship. And so in my book, I think a lot of the things that you get out of that is just from my own personal experience. And then from all the coaches that I've had, right? I mean, I've really...
• 21:11
  invested. I've invested almost $2 million in coaches, masterminds, books, all this stuff, you know? And so I think that I just have a wide range of a variety of opinions that I'm able to take and now put into the book.
• 21:25
  It shows, man. And I again, I'm proud of you. And I got to tell you, unfortunately for you, and I'm sorry, not sorry that you've got a new friend. I'll call a big brother. I had your cell phone number and I haven't texted you yet because I wanted to meet you first and and, you know, make sure that we break bread together. How many people are in this? We are the way that we are today. Sorry. Yeah. No, it's OK. There's about 400 total right now.
• 21:48
  with all the groups and everything else. So every couple of months, I open a new pod of 50 guys. And so we just opened our last one or our newest one. In fact, filled it up yesterday. And so I do 50 people per group because I've been a part of all these other masterminds. And when you get over that, it's really hard to keep a certain culture. It's really hard to go deep with the friendships. So I'm not going for, you know, width, I'm going for depth. And so that's why I open a new class or new group every couple of months, every six months or so with that.
• 22:17
  Couple more questions about the book. What's the single most important habit you believe someone should develop after reading your book?
• 22:24
  Uh, gratitude. It's getting into gratitude every day. It's that simple. It's literally that simple. But you have to, but you do. So here's the thing though, is you do have to actually have an exercise around it because the brain is designed to keep us alive. Unfortunately, it's not designed to make us happy. It's designed for one thing is to make sure we don't die. And even so I used to work at this, the center for women and children in crisis here in Utah, and it was battered women. And my job was to play with the kids and make them see a masculine figure that, uh,
• 22:51
  you know, could be safe. And so I worked there for a couple of months and I'll be honest, like every single woman that came in there ended up going back to that guy. And the reason why is because our nervous systems will go where they know they can survive. It doesn't mean they're safe. It means they can survive. It doesn't mean they're happy. It means they can survive. They're like, I know I can survive this horrible relationship. I don't know what's on the other side of that if I go outside of it. And so unfortunately most people will always go back to what their nervous system feels safe in.
• 23:20
  And so what you have to do is you have to create, you have to almost like hijack your own brain and you can do that with gratitude. So anytime, like your brain is designed to look for what's going wrong. It just is. What's wrong so that I can avoid danger, so I can avoid the pitfall, so that I can stay alive, right? And back when we were being chased by lions and bears and things and living in caves, that made a lot of sense. Today, the world is pretty damn safe. Like this world is pretty easy to live in. It's a very comfortable world.
• 23:49
  And so unfortunately, people's brains are still trying to find what's wrong. That's why you see people. It doesn't matter what cause they've, I mean, you give, you know, like you see these hardcore leftists, for example, it's just, I'm not getting political. I don't have a political home. I'm, you know, I consider myself homeless politically, but the point is, is like, you see them though, and they have this cause and they'll throw everything at it. And then they get it. They immediately start fighting for something else until it becomes ridiculous. They start fighting for things they should not be fighting for.
• 24:17
  All of a sudden it's like, no, like men should play in women's sports. And like the only thing they're doing is they're trying to find some kind of misjustice because their brain is hardwired to look for these problems instead of looking for things that will make them happy. And so you can do that your whole life and just be pissed about the world or you can look for what's going right. And so you do have to hijack it. So every morning, every one of the guys in my program, I do this. I have a couple of guys I text every single morning and we text each other things that we're grateful for.
• 24:43
  And we do that so that we're hardwiring our brain to look for what's going right. So all day long, if you know you're going to be coming up with gratitudes, you're looking for what's going right. You're looking for the gifts of it. When I have guys go through a really hard thing in my program, I call them and I ask them one question. I said, all right, let's talk about this. Where's the gift?
• 25:01
  And they have to come up with it, right? I remember one time I had a friend betray me several years ago. And my life coach, she's brilliant. And I'm on the phone and I'm just raging. I'm so mad, you know. And she goes, all right, Jimmy, we're not getting off the phone until you come up with 20 gifts in this.
• 25:14
  I said, 20 gifts in this? You're insane. There's no 20 gifts in this. I said, I can't think of one. By the time we got off the phone, we came up with 27, right? Because when you start to look for whatever you focus on, you feel. Whatever you look for, you're going to find. I'm convinced of this 100%. If you want to look for everything going wrong in this world, you're going to find it real quick. But if you want to look for what's going right, you also can find that pretty damn quick. And so...
• 25:36
  What you're saying is the familiar, the mind takes you, it wants to control the uncontrollable. So it's the familiar misery that we chase. It's, oh, I'm used to this. So let's chase that. And then your boy, Chris Williamson, who you were talking about before we started, he sent out this beautiful reel that was, you said you'd be happy when you had the things you have now.
• 25:59
  And I bet you you're a lot like that too, where we move those goalposts. I, you know, I just wanted to have a bestselling book. Got it. Why don't I be ranked in the pot? Got it. And I, and all of a sudden it just keeps moving. So I, I'm going to work with you to be more present and just relax and just allow be. Yeah. I mean, that's, you know, that's Tony Robbins. Again, he most famously said this, but he said, look, there's, there's really, there's two things. There's the science of achievement. That's pretty easy.
• 26:25
  If you want to write a book, there's a formula to do it. If you want to write a bestselling book, there's a formula to do it. You figure out what to do. You get really good at doing it and then you freaking do it. Like that's really how you achieve anything basically. Right. That is the science of achievement. That's easier. Harder is the art of fulfillment. And the art of fulfillment is knowing what.
• 26:41
  I am exactly where I need to be right now. I am enough exactly as I am and capable of much more. It's being satisfied with where you're at, but still being driven to do more things. And that is the dance of life. And to be honest, we all suck at it. That is the hardest thing is just being able to be happy with the present moment, but not wishing it was different and not looking too far ahead or behind. You go to the past to learn, but you don't want to live there. You go to the future so you can have a vision, but you got to stay present in the moment.
• 27:10
  I got to tell you, I'm grateful for you and what you're doing. We are the they as well as allowing me to come hijack your studio and do bring this to the heart of life listeners. So I'm very present listening to everything you say. So thank you. Back to the book. What which chapter of B1 was the most challenging to write and why?
• 27:29
  Um, you know, uh, the one about health was the hardest one for me. I think, um, I'm in a very good place right now, but it's taken me a long time to get here. I, you know, I grew up where I, in college literally was, um, I thought granola bars and Mac and cheese was healthy. Like that was health food to me. You know what I mean? It was like, actually it wasn't candy. And so I just didn't know. I mean, nowadays, you know, it's interesting. We don't have a knowledge problem. People know, um, how to be healthy now. They know how to eat healthy, know how to do it, you know.
• 27:59
  but it's doing it. It's the art of doing it. And so like, you know, there's just these challenges we all have. It took me until, you know, I used to drink two or three rock stars a day and then I changed it to Celsius. And, you know, I'm now six, eight weeks, I think wouldn't, without a single Celsius, you know, I, I now I'm at Coke zero and eventually I'll get off caffeine, but like, there's just, there's so many things there's like this, but there's this beauty in the dance of the health. But like, you know, if you have your health,
• 28:24
  You have a million other problems, but the second you don't, I mean, have you ever had a backache or a toothache? Nothing else matters. Like, that's it. Like, that's your only problem. And so I think there's just this, for me, the health journey. And, like, you know, even last summer, I got in the best shape of my entire life. I finally got down to the exact body percent fat I wanted to be. I was shredded up, and then I had to get two surgeries within a six-month period. I just threw everything off. And it's taken me until about...
• 28:47
  three, four weeks ago before I finally started feeling really good about my health again. And so it's just this dance that we're playing, and it's been a difficult one for me to, you know, to master. But more and more, I get my focus on it, and it's a fun one for me because it's the one that's the most challenging.
• 29:04
  Yeah, you saw that. I told you before this. My favorite that I thought you were going to say was this bonus chapter one, find one, which is exactly what I bet you executed. And the first quote was the flower doesn't dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes. If you look at this, I got so many pages and just this chapter pegged back. I don't know why, but if you don't read this book.
• 29:27
  figure out a way to go to chat GBT or whatever. And just, it's the first bonus chapter called fine one from skeptical to trusting. And this thing resonated with me. I literally read it and then reread it. It's the only chapter I reread. And,
• 29:43
  This book is gold guys. Get out and watch it. Now there's a few of these questions are going to be in the book. So don't go too deep because we won't want to give away the entire book. Cause it is, it literally is a page turner. So could you walk us through the journey from starting in real estate to becoming a motivational figure? It's in here.
• 30:01
  But I want to tease the listeners a little bit. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, it's funny because I never intended to be doing what I'm doing now. It was, it wasn't even on my radar. I was a real estate guy and I sold thousands and thousands of homes. I ended up becoming, you know, the number one agent in the state of Utah. About five years ago, I sold the most expensive home ever in Utah. And it was interesting because I kind of just, to be honest, it didn't really do much for me. I mean, I already was having a great year and, um,
• 30:28
  making a ton of money. And, and, and I just knew I had this epiphany. I was doing a meditation and I just knew I need to do something more impactful. And I didn't know what that was going to be. I had always, my whole identity had been a real estate guy. And, and, you know, it's funny because like, I,
• 30:44
  I was literally, you try, you spend your whole life to get where I was at. And it was on cruise control. And so it was like at that peak though, I just knew, and I couldn't deny it. I remember like, even like I was hanging out with some friends and you know, we had a coach there with us and, and I told everyone, I said, guys, I think I need to get out of real estate.
• 31:00
  And even the person like facilitating the event was like, Hey, maybe sit on that for a little bit, you know? And, uh, so I actually just started playing with the idea. And I said, I just asked that question, like, well, what would I do that would be more impactful? What could I do that would be a bigger difference maker? And, and I, you know, I think not having kids, you worry a little bit more about your legacy because it's like, well, what am I going to leave behind? And so at the time still single, no kids. And I'm thinking to myself, um,
• 31:22
  I mean, one of the reasons I wanted to do a podcast was I heard Tony Robbins eight years ago tell an event, if you have 400 hours of you talking and answering questions and saying like with your real answers, he said there will be an AI within eight years that can with 98% accuracy.
• 31:37
  like answer questions the way you would. And if you saw the thing that Reed Hoffman put out recently, but his AI literally answers as if it's him and like pretty much identical what Tony was saying. It just takes all of his information and then answers as him. And so I, that was kind of a legacy thing at the time. Now I'm scared of it. But at the time I was like, well, that could be kind of cool. If I die, I'm kind of a risk taker. I could be dead anytime, you know? And, and,
• 31:58
  So anyway, so I was kind of like, well, that'd be kind of fun. But then also I just kind of like this idea of like, okay, what do you want to leave behind? And so I was just thinking like, how could I use my skills the best? I've had so many opportunities. I've had so many cool coaches. I've had so many cool people I get to be around. What could I do to leave more of an impact or to be more impactful? And at that same time, there was a real estate agent that actually got shot and killed collecting some rents. And me and him had very similar careers in the sense of how we did our business.
• 32:24
  And I remember the news, every story on the news was just like, realtor dies, realtor gets shot, you know? And it was just, that was his legacy. He was a realtor. And I'm like, God, I love being a realtor. But if that's all I'm known as, it's like, I'd be a little bit sad about that, you know? And so I just was playing with this idea and-
• 32:39
  Originally, my idea was to go do all these crazy adventures with these influencers and make a documentary about it with everybody's backstories. But then I was doing a meditation with my friend Bea, and she was dating Tim Ferriss at the time. And the whole reason I essentially had her do this with me, because I wanted to put it on radar so Tim would be a part of this program that I was going to put together.
• 33:00
  And she asked me the most beautiful question because she's like, she kind of knew where I was going with him. She just goes, Jimmy, Tim doesn't need this. His friends don't need this. They are busy doing so many things. Who needs this? And that was when it hit me clear as day. I was like, oh my gosh, it's these men. It's these men that reach out to me all the time. And they say, I'm stuck in life. They say, where do I find a group of friends like you do? So I just went for it. I just said, okay, I know how to do this. I know how to help men connect. And I just literally started gathering all my different information from all the different things I've gone to. And I put together this course. I put together my first mastermind.
• 33:30
  And it just went from there. And, and so when I launched the program, it was interesting for my 40th birthday, I always want to have an epic 40th birthday. I spent over 50 K on my 40th birthday. I mean, I sent it. I mean, I just, I had 35 of my best friends there. We rented this fun bus and we went to Moab and we did this rope swing for the first time. I hired the guy to do it. And
• 33:51
  just the most epic weekend. And it was kind of a precursor of what my program was going to be. And from that, I took all the footage and we launched my program about a month later, which became we are the day. And, and so when I first launched it, I was hoping to get 50 guys and that first group, you know I put all the marketing out and within eight hours I had 147 people applied and I knew, Oh, men need this more than I knew. Like men really need this right now.
• 34:19
  And so that was the easy launch of we are the day. What's it? What's the cost? So it's 1500 bucks a month. And that includes four masterminds a year, a weekly call, the modules, online learning stuff, and then two annual events a year. So like my speaking event, I bring in a bunch of speakers. I had Chris Williamson, Ed Milet, Erwin McManus this year, David Vabor, some of the top speakers.
• 34:40
  And then the second event is in the summer. Last year we hosted our own rodeo. We wrote a bull. I got to go. I lasted exactly 2.7 seconds, just like the Tim McGraw song. This year we're doing a demolition derby. Was the bull named Fu Manchu? No, unfortunately, but yeah. So this year we're doing a demolition derby and we have, you know, like a big speaker event with the actual members of the community. We do like a, we call it a weird that they Olympics. We have all the different groups against each other for all these sporting events. And, uh,
• 35:09
  And then we just have a good time. We're doing a charity golf tournament. One of our guys got cancer this year as we're raising some money for him. And, but so you have about, you know, eight events a year, big events a year, and then all these masterminds and all included with that. As 1500 bucks a month is the best money you'll ever spend in your life. You probably do business with everybody in the fricking group. So let's talk about, let's dig into that a little more. Cause I love, I said it up off camera. I always wonder who the they was when they say they are so smart or they know everything they say. Mm-hmm.
• 35:38
  We got the we are the they and I love it. And you are walking the talk, brother. And I can feel it. I feel the energy. I see you getting all smiling and happy when I bring it up. So can you share a success story from one of the members of the mastermind? Sure. He's sitting right there is one of them. I am. So he joined at the beginning of the program. He actually hit me up at the gym right as I was launching the program.
• 35:58
  And he said, Hey, I've been following you. And as Dakota is my podcast producer, he said, I want to work for you. He said, it was really cool. He did exactly what I would teach him to do. He said, Hey, I've saved up enough money. I can work for you for free for 60 or 90 days or whatever it is. At the end of that, he goes, at the end of that, you're either gonna have to hire me or I got to quit though. Cause I'll be out of money. And so I said, okay, I didn't really have things to do. And, but I started giving him some, you know, bullshit assignments and he was just nailing them. And so then I said, Hey, build me out this podcast studio and I'll, you can be my podcast director. Um,
• 36:26
  And he said to me, he said, hey, part of this is I want to be part of your group that we are the they. So I said, sounds good. You can be a member that kind of works the events for me, helps me with all the sound and the audio and all that stuff. So he joins the group and six months in and permission to tell your story of Dakota, but
• 36:41
  You know, he he kind of struggled in the dating scene and some of that stuff. And I mean, we had this event. We went to the Bahamas and we swam with tiger sharks and stuff like that. But one of the nights we had this circle around a fire and we said, all right, what do you what do you want to change in your life in the next six months? I had every guy go around and say, what do you want to change in the next six months? And he said, I really want to get serious about dating and find somebody.
• 37:03
  And it was funny because the next day we were having dinner at like the resort and these two beautiful girls sit down and I go, all right, Dakota, you're up, buddy. Go talk to him. And he looks at me. He's like, no, it's not a good time. And I go, oh, it's a good time. And basically forced him to go sit over there. Smile over there. First of all. Love it. And but it started this thing where he said, I'm going to be so intentional about finding my person and dating. And so he went out every week. He was going on dates.
• 37:25
  And eventually one of the members of the group, who's my best friend since I was 12, he's a member of group two. And he said, hey, Dakota, I got this person. I want you to meet this perfect girl for you. And sets him up. And long story short, they start dating. They're getting married in September.
• 37:41
  And he met her through the program, through one of the guys. He got intentional because of the program, but he did all the work and he did all that. So, and I have 200 stories I could tell you. That's just one right here, but they make me emotional because, you know, it was like, if I, the ripple effect of the one decision I made to just launch this program, the friendships that have been made, the,
• 38:03
  the success stories, you know, one of the guys that was there last night, he, the guy hosting it, he was helping him and emceeing and, um, he'd never had a close friend in his life. And he had his birthday party a couple months back and, and a bunch of the guys flew down to be with him with their wives and stuff and just hang out. And he sent me a text after, you know, and he says, dude, I've never had friends that actually cared about me. He said, these people want, um, he said, they want nothing from me. They just love me because they do. And,
• 38:30
  And he's like, this has changed my whole life. Thank you so much. And I get those texts literally every day. I get them every single day from my guys. You guys can't see it on the cameras, but he's getting teary-eyed, bro. I got to fist bump that. I'm proud of you. Brother, by the way, he provided a platform, but you ran with it. For Dakota. Kudos to you. That's what we need more of in this world. You can be the one.
• 38:53
  but you got to do. And you freaking did, man. I'm proud of you. I'm sending you, that's a great story. Literally, and that's the whole thing. It's like this program doesn't work if you don't do the work, right? Like I said, I can't change anybody. I can create space for you to be inspired. And that's what he did. He took and did all the work. But it does work. The program works 100% if you're willing to do the actual.
• 39:14
  It sounds like you've built a big-ass fraternity. That sounds fun. It's the world's greatest. It's funny because it's like I have frat guys in the group, and they said this is what I always wish my frat was. But then I have guys that are strong members of, like, their church, and they're like, damn, this is what we wish our church membership group was, you know? It's like a mix of the two. I was in a fraternity, and it sounds like we used to do epic things together. And it's amazing when you can get –
• 39:38
  50 to 100 or just any men on the same purpose and same passion. As you said, we built we did philanthropic events and our fraternity and just everybody rowing in the same direction is powerful. So, man, I can't wait to see where this thing goes. Who is your biggest influence or mentor in your life or career so far?
• 40:02
  Um, I've been very blessed with a lot of amazing coaches. I really have. I've just, I've been obsessed with coaches from day one, but you know, my original real estate coach, Mike Ferry, um, I just, I've had the book stumble upon the goat of real estate coaches. My mission president, when I was a Mormon missionary was just, he just taught me how to work, man. He was just no bullshit army dude. And he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,
• 40:21
  Um, you know, and then I've hired all these other coaches that we've mentioned some of them along the way, but I've had a couple of the unsung hero coaches. You wouldn't ever know their names. They're very private, but this lady, Kathy from Canada, she's 70 years old. She's one of my life coaches, Melissa, this six year old lady from Colorado. She's been my coach for seven years. Even just this week, she gave me some beautiful advice. Both of them do like all the time. And so.
• 40:42
  I got my call today at noon with Kathy and I, you know, I did my call last night with Neil and I still have my coaches and mentors that I lean on very heavily. But I've had a lot of friends to just I really have. It's interesting. I had a vision doing a meditation about six months ago and it was like a chessboard.
• 40:59
  because as a 42 year old guy that's never been married, it's very difficult for a guy. If he doesn't have a queen to help him, to support him, to keep his shit going. Right. It's very difficult. And I saw this vision of this chessboard and I saw every one of the pieces, um,
• 41:15
  was somebody in my life that represented me and they all had to be there to keep the king from falling kind of thing right on the on my chessboard and so it was like I've had so many friends I could mention or people I've even mentored and tutored that helped me and all these things so it's it's just a collection of a lot of amazing people that have helped me along the way
• 41:34
  Well, again, you've got the best friend in me, but be careful because I come correct. I got to tell you, everything in the book, the reason why it resonated with me is because I did all that work. I did every single thing that you do, and I still do it. And I was here for an event right down the road with Sean Whalen, and I met her. And you're right. Once you get your queen who is there to help you—
• 41:58
  it silences a lot of issues. And now we're taking the next step. And I'm sitting here interviewing Jimmy Rex.
• 42:05
  I do want to point out, too, that you're a big influence. You're a big deal. And you're taking in all these coaches. You're still a student of the game. You don't just achieve and then stop. I always tease. I've been working out for 30 years. And I say, man, I should get a pension and I shouldn't have to go work out like I do every single day. But that's just not the way the world works. We've got to keep grinding. So, hey, just because you got married, you keep going. You keep freaking working on it.
• 42:35
  How do you manage to balance your professional ambitions with your personal life then? That's the hardest thing for me, for sure. One of the things that I did recently is I had to do an inventory of my life and go, because, you know, when I was, you know, before I started dating this girl that I am right now,
• 42:54
  They're just, I didn't have space for her. I didn't have space for somebody. I was doing too many things. And so I broke off a lot of things I was doing that weren't necessarily my main purpose or vision, and I got rid of them. And so it's doing that constant inventory and saying, wait, what do I have to get rid of? What do I need to eliminate? Because you can't do it. I mean, somebody like you, you know, like...
• 43:14
  Myself, I always think like I can do anything, but you can't do everything. And so you really got to decide. And a woman knows me. You don't have space for her in your life. And so for me, it was like, okay, if this is the most important thing I want to do now, what has to go? And there always is sacrifices. And I think it's important to even know that, yeah, there's sacrifices. Like there's things that you would want to do that you can't do. And so I think that balance is just ultimately, and you mentioned Sean just a second ago. He's a close friend of mine. Yeah.
• 43:41
  He always asks this one question to everybody he coaches. He says, what do you want?
• 43:44
  It's a brilliant question because when you really dig into it and people give like a random ass answer, no, no, no. What do you want? And I asked myself that strict question often. I'm like, wait, do I want to be doing this? And if the answer is no, I'm like, then I'm not doing it and I'll cancel things that like I was already down the road. You know, I'm a really good poker player because when you're playing poker where people get in trouble is they get a pair of Queens in their hand and they love it. So they put a lot in pre flop. Right. And then all of a sudden the flop comes down King 10, six, your hands probably busted.
• 44:14
  If you've got eight players at the table, there's a good chance someone's got a king, you're probably going to get beat. But where people get in trouble in poker is they love those queens, and they can't put them down or jacks or whatever, right? I always say people always go home playing jacks because they can't lay them down. So in life, you can be halfway through a book and go, you know what, it's not the book I was supposed to read or write even or whatever it might be. You can be into your career and be six years in and go, wait, this isn't fulfilling me. And that willingness to drop the hand –
• 44:40
  keeps you in the game so that you can build back up and then win the game. And so I think having a willingness to drop a good hand is one of the keys to finding that balance. We've heard from, you have it in your book to be one that you got to say no more. You just have to, you have to protect your peace at all costs.
• 44:58
  Well, and when you're coming up, everything can be a yes because everybody's a potential opportunity, potential client, whatever it might be. But after you've made it, yeah, every time you say yes to something, I'm saying no to everything else, right? Like it matters. Like my time is limited. And so if I say yes to a speaking gig, I'm saying no to hang out with my family. I'm saying no to the gym. I'm saying no to building my business. I'm saying no to coaching my men. And so I have to balance all that. And it actually becomes easier when you can look at it from that lens because it's not that I'm saying no to this opportunity that somebody asked me to do.
• 45:26
  it's I'm saying no to all my other people if I do it. And so I, well, I'm glad you said yes to this podcast. Cause I'm enjoying every minute of this man here. You're just a treat. What's something you enjoy doing that your fans might not expect.
• 45:39
  Spending time by myself. Like, I'm a very social guy, but I love spending time by myself. Well, they kind of know that. People that know me well know that. But people that don't, they just see me being very social. But I spend a lot of time just with me. I like to read. I like to take baths. I like to travel by myself. I love to actually use – I don't like –
• 45:57
  flying private because I like the time of going to the airport and just putting my head, you know, earbuds in and just listening to a podcast, listening to a book, talking to friends. But just that time where I just get to be me. And so I actually really enjoy time by myself. Has it always been that way? No, no. That took a lot of time.
• 46:16
  Yeah, I used to get FOMO. I actually, I mean, for 15 years, I would find something to do every night. I grew up in a very chaotic household. My nervous system was not comfortable just sitting and being. And it actually took me almost two years to be able to meditate for 20 minutes. I tried every day almost. And I'd get seven minutes in, three minutes in. I couldn't do it. Now I meditate for over 20 minutes almost every single day where I don't move. It's like I'm looking into a mirror. Yeah.
• 46:43
  I'm the same way. It's everything you say that I, I like a Jomo now, the joy of missing out. I used to have to be there even if I hated it. Now it's like, you know what, man, I need, I just went to Florida because I have a house in Florida, Detroit, and then I'm here for her and you guys. Uh, so I'm always in an airport and I'm like, I just need a weekend to myself.
• 47:02
  And it's, it's, you got to recharge. I used to always think, and I did for years, always had another gear. I just looked at her last week and said, I realized I don't have another gear anymore. I'm giving it all I got. And it's just going to have to be good enough. Yeah. And I've burned myself out several times, you know, and I'm, I'm at least good at recognizing I just worked too hard. I just worked too hard. What did you do to get out? Cause I'm in the middle of it right now. It's, we're seeing that number one spot. We're just.
• 47:27
  going back to that chessboard thing. I had good friends pull me aside, but Hey man, you don't seem like you're as happy or like you feel stressed. Like you feel like you're carrying a lot. And I was like, and first you want to get mad or like, I'm fine. You know, like don't tell me I have problems or whatever. And then you're like, shit, am I like, yeah, I probably am. So then you're like, okay, why? And then you go, okay, well, this is stressing me out. This stressed me out. Then I go, okay, well I'm going to quit doing that. And I'm not going to worry about that. And I'm not going to do that. And then I'm like,
• 47:57
  you know, most people that are suffering from depression, I mean, there's, you know, a percentage that definitely have a clinical issue, a chemical issue, but like the majority just aren't doing the things that make you happy. And so when you're feeling off, like for me, it's like, if I, you know, a couple months ago, I was just having a drink a day or a drink a night and it was like, I wasn't as happy. And so I stopped drinking and I'll be damned. I started feeling better. Started, you know, like those little things. If you don't go to the gym for a week, like you're not going to feel as good. Like I have to get to the gym every day. And so that's just part of my routine. I go on morning walks every single morning. I wake up.
• 48:26
  And one of the guys that I coach meets me at my door and we start a walk together. And I start every day with that at 7 a.m. And so like when I'm not doing those, I'm not as happy. So I have to get back to all those things. I hope everybody's thinking, I'm going to have to tell anybody to freaking share this episode. This is fire, man. You're just, you're lighting the place on fire. I'm glad it's your, your studio, not mine. If you could go back in time and give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
• 48:52
  Yeah, it's funny because I think we have to be careful with this because I love where I'm at today. So I honor the whole path that got me here. So I honor my time when I was a member of the church I left, right? I obviously had problems. I left. But I honor the time that I was there because it helped make me me today. I honor the time that I...
• 49:09
  was in my shit. I honor the time that I did things that I didn't know what I was doing. So the only advice I would give myself is don't sell any of your real estate because that's such a simple one, but like, it's so true. Like I, I mean, I own 58 doors and I beat myself up because I have, I could have bought another 200. I could have, you know, I could, I could have a nine figure net worth if I just did what I knew I needed to do and didn't sell real estate and bought more of it. And I'm,
• 49:34
  I was so busy with making commissions and then I would sell a property because I could make a quick 30K, but it was already cash flowing me a thousand bucks a month or 300 bucks a month or whatever. And that would be the one thing as a real estate guy, I would have kept every house. But I have listened to that advice the last four years. I haven't sold anything in four or five years. Do you wish you would have started the we are the they sooner or the personal development? No, I wasn't ready. I couldn't have done it. I couldn't have. I wasn't the right person to do it yet.
• 49:59
  You alluded to the drinking. I quit drinking five and a half years ago, and I wish I would have started sooner. That's the only regret. I knew at 30 I needed to get this thing in alignment, and I waited until 43. I wish, because I could have helped so many more people.
• 50:15
  You know, it's just it's cheat code, man. You just said it is tricky, but you just literally I'll give you the easiest thing. Figure out why you're drinking and frickin address that issue, which is usually some sort of trauma, insecurity, less than limiting belief. Well, it's the same thing with, you know, eating junk food, to be honest, is if you can stop yourself long enough to go.
• 50:36
  because here's what I asked myself with the alcohol. I said, Jimmy, one of two things is true. Cause you're, you're saying that you shouldn't be drinking. You know, you're not in your best shape because of it, but you still have a drink every day. So one of two things is true. You either have an addiction problem or you're masking something. That's it. It's the only two things tell you that you have, you have a problem. Right. And so I was like, I had to get real with myself and be like, all right, well let's dig into it. And that was avoiding feeling some things I didn't want to, you know, there were some things going on that I, you know, didn't want to look at and you know, some relationships that needed some fixing.
• 51:05
  It was when I stopped trying to mask it and really leaned into it that you, whatever you, you know, work through, it goes away. And so it was, I needed to do that. Yeah. That's what it was for me. Two more questions. We'll get you out of here. Cause I know it's, we're a little, we're running over Mr. Follow Mr. Jimmy Rex on all social media platforms. He's fabulous. He is worth the price of admission. Is there anything I haven't asked you that you feel compelled to share?
• 51:28
  I don't think, I think one of the, you know, the two things that people get in trouble when they hear a podcast like this is they want it too quick. I mean, this took 25 years, you know, it takes a long time. You have to tell me every day. You've got to be patient with it. You do. Um, and it's consistency that matters. Like you asked me, you know, a few before the podcast, we were talking about our favorite podcast and I remember doing specific podcasts early on and I was like, Holy shit, this is going to break the internet. This is going to move the needle. This is where my podcast is going to blow up forever. And it's just not true. Like,
• 51:56
  nothing changes. It just a slow trickle up. It just a little by little, it builds. And so the one thing I would tell anybody is if you want to, you know, change your life, expect to just work your ass off for 10 years, take action every day. But the consistency is what matters. I have never gone. I have 580 episodes on my podcast. Now I've never gone seven days without putting one out. Never.
• 52:16
  in 580 episodes and it's the consistency over time that builds writing a book you don't write it in a day you every day you take 30 to 50 minutes or an hour whatever you can and you have a lead ass and you sit there and you type shit out until you come up with some ideas like everything like you know the the gist of the tricky part of life is everything that is bad for you feels good in the moment but everything that's good for you is really hard in the moment
• 52:42
  And so you have to really have that long-term vision and understand that. And the win has to become doing the action, not getting the result you want. I'm going to throw one more at you. In a 10-year span, I'm old enough now that I've had three 10-year spans of doing the work. And in a 10-year span, you're going to have six years of really good times. Two amazing times. Two God-awful years.
• 53:06
  And it's those two God awful years that you got to be able to stay consistent and go through. And if you contest those, you'll enjoy the other eight years. Well, and it's the people you surround yourself with and your habits that'll pull you out when you're going through them. So you've got to be obsessed with those two things. Keep your habits and keep good people around you. Boom. And there's no coincidence that I just met you, man. I'm grateful that you're in my life now. What is it? Last question. What's it mean to be harder than life?
• 53:32
  Life's going to come at you, you know, and I think a lot of people surrender to that and they just kind of like want to just, they want, again, going back to they want it to be easier. And I think being harder than life is understanding that, no, you don't want life to be easier. You just need to become the person that can, and by the way, God's never going to give you more than you can handle. Otherwise, you're just dead and then it doesn't matter. You're dead. And so.
• 53:51
  with whatever's coming, if you can in the moment go, okay, I don't like this, but here's the lesson I'm getting. Here's the growth I'm receiving. Then you, in the moment of the hard thing happening, I think you can start to enjoy it. I think that would make you harder than life. I was going to say harder than life is doing the work to be one. My brother, I love you. Thank you for giving me this time. Sorry I was over and I enjoyed every minute of this. Thank you. No honor. Thank you.
• 54:19
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.