Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #11: Can you admit you were wrong?

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#11: Can you admit you were wrong? · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome. This is episode eleven of the Happy
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  Speaker 1: Families podcast. My name is doctor Justin Colson and this
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  Speaker 1: is the podcast dedicated to making your family happier. I've
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  Speaker 1: taken a few months, in fact, I've taken the best
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  Speaker 1: part of a year away from the podcast, but it
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  Speaker 1: is back and assuming everything goes well, you should now
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  Speaker 1: be hearing from me every fortnight as we play around
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  Speaker 1: with ideas for making your family happier. In this week's podcast,
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  Speaker 1: do you know someone who's always right? They can't be
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  Speaker 1: convinced otherwise even when they're absolutely wrong. Or to start
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  Speaker 1: off this podcast, we're going to get a little bit
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  Speaker 1: deep and we're going to investigate how we do this
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  Speaker 1: as parents and what it does to our children. I
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  Speaker 1: hope that you're open to exploring a little bit inside
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  Speaker 1: yourself today and considering how you see the world, because
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  Speaker 1: this one will be a little bit of a bit
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  Speaker 1: of a challenge to look inside and have that level
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  Speaker 1: of self awareness. Some tough stuff to consider. And do
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  Speaker 1: you ever find yourself telling porky pies little lies to
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  Speaker 1: your children? Well, one mum has told her daughter a
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  Speaker 1: big one and she's asked me for some advice in
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  Speaker 1: doctor Justin's three minute therapy. I'm going to talk about
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  Speaker 1: why we should never lie to our children. Shortly plus,
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  Speaker 1: since this podcast is all about making your family happier,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to share some ideas about how to have
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  Speaker 1: more fun with the kids. Simple things that you can
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  Speaker 1: do to have more fun that take minimal energy but
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  Speaker 1: provide hopefully maximum joy. That's to wrap things up a
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  Speaker 1: little later in the podcast, But next, let's take a
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  Speaker 1: look at how open we are to the possibility that
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  Speaker 1: we might be wrong as parents.
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  Speaker 2: Are you endlessly nagging, shouting, pleading, threatening and demanding that
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  Speaker 2: your children behave Do you live in a dictatorship where
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: the kids are in charge? Time Out is Not Your
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Only is an ebook with discipline strategies and ideas that work,
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  Speaker 2: and they work without you carrying a load of parental
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  Speaker 2: guilt around all day. No more yelling, threatening, bribing or timeouts.
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  Speaker 2: From day one, you'll notice the difference in your children,
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  Speaker 2: and they'll notice the difference in you. Time Out is
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  Speaker 2: Not Your Only Option by Doctor Justin Coulson, Available as
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  Speaker 2: an ebook and an audiobook at Happyfamilies dot com dot au.
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  Speaker 1: Some time ago, I coached a family that were really
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  Speaker 1: struggling in their relationships. The two parents were at each
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  Speaker 1: other constantly. The wife saw her husband as selfish and
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  Speaker 1: aggressive and narcissistic, and look, the guy wasn't perfect. He
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  Speaker 1: potentially was all of those three things. Interestingly, however, she
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  Speaker 1: was not willing to see whether he might be something else.
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  Speaker 1: So for a few weeks I watched as he did
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  Speaker 1: absolutely everything that he could be, unselfish and patient and
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  Speaker 1: focused on hearing his wife and responding to her needs,
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  Speaker 1: and failed several times. There's no doubt, but from what
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  Speaker 1: I saw there was genuine, marked improvement. But his wife
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  Speaker 1: refused to see it because to do so would have
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  Speaker 1: meant that she would no longer be justified in her
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  Speaker 1: anger towards him. If he was changing, if he was
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  Speaker 1: becoming better, then that meant that she had to be
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  Speaker 1: in the wrong because she was still mad at him.
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  Speaker 1: And there's something compelling about being angry, isn't there? If
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  Speaker 1: he was changing or improving, it meant that she couldn't
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  Speaker 1: hold herself up as the pinnacle of righteousness and goodness
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  Speaker 1: and relational rightness. It meant that she would have to
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  Speaker 1: reevaluate their relationship and the way that they interacted. But
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  Speaker 1: she was getting so much mileage out of being right
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  Speaker 1: and him being wrong, So our sessions together were full
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  Speaker 1: of finger pointing, I'm right, he's wrong. There was no
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  Speaker 1: acknowledgment of any of his efforts. There was no acknowledgment
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  Speaker 1: of any of his improvements, because that would have meant
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  Speaker 1: to her that she was giving up round. So instead
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  Speaker 1: she'd say, well, that's fine, but what about when you
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  Speaker 1: did this? And what about when you did that? And
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  Speaker 1: she just couldn't get past it. She was not able
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  Speaker 1: to prevent the mistakes that were derailing the relationship because
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  Speaker 1: she was so attached to being right, to being justified
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  Speaker 1: in her own behavior, and I guess also to being mad.
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  Speaker 1: And I've seen this happen with parents as well, parents
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  Speaker 1: of toddlers, parents of kids, parents of teenagers. It's particularly
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  Speaker 1: true of parents of teenagers. We get annoyed at our
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  Speaker 1: teen for something, we label them a nuisance. Our favorite
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  Speaker 1: fun word in our family is a little punk. Stop
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  Speaker 1: being a little punk. But we labeled them a little
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  Speaker 1: punk or or something far worse than that. And once
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  Speaker 1: we've labeled them and we've gotten involved in that process,
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  Speaker 1: what happens then is that we insist on being right
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  Speaker 1: about everything, and the teen gets something wrong in our
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  Speaker 1: eyes and come down hard and fast because there's such rotten,
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  Speaker 1: punky nuisances. I love this quote. It says why we
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  Speaker 1: should all admit and embrace being wrong. Attachment to our
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  Speaker 1: own rightness keeps us from preventing mistakes when we absolutely
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  Speaker 1: need to, and it causes us to treat each other terribly.
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  Speaker 1: It's by Catherine Schultz in something called on being Wrong.
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  Speaker 1: Let me read it again because it needs a little
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  Speaker 1: bit of thought. Why we should all admit and embrace
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  Speaker 1: being wrong because attachment to our own rightness keeps us
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  Speaker 1: from preventing mistakes when we absolutely need to and causes
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  Speaker 1: us to treat each other terribly. Se we become so
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  Speaker 1: attached to being right that we fail to see the
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  Speaker 1: possibility that we could be wrong, and that's devastating to
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  Speaker 1: family life. The husband who insists that the dishes have
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  Speaker 1: to be cleaned a certain way, or the mother who
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  Speaker 1: gets her children in trouble for doing something but won't
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  Speaker 1: hear their side of the story. Maybe you've been there.
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  Speaker 1: You start your pre prepared speech about how you children
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  Speaker 1: never listen. I told you to do this, and I
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  Speaker 1: told you to do that and you haven't done any
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  Speaker 1: of it, And then oh, your oldest explains that they
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  Speaker 1: stopped to help someone, or offers a beautiful explanation for
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  Speaker 1: why your demands weren't carried out. When we can't admit
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  Speaker 1: that we're wrong, we continue to make mistakes, we continue
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  Speaker 1: to get caught up in defending our pride, and ultimately
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  Speaker 1: we cause harm to the people that we're supposed to
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  Speaker 1: love the most. So an insistence on being right leads
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  Speaker 1: to us treating other people really, really badly. What can
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  Speaker 1: we do instead, Well, I recommend a couple of things.
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  Speaker 1: First of all, we can ask ourselves could I be wrong?
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  Speaker 1: That one question changes everything. Second, let me recommend perspective taking.
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  Speaker 1: When someone does something that we don't like, we could
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  Speaker 1: pause and consider why they did it, what do they believe,
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  Speaker 1: what's going on in their mind? And a titleer told
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  Speaker 1: me the little girl kept on getting out of bed
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  Speaker 1: to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. She kept
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  Speaker 1: just go to bed. You know, this title was supposed
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  Speaker 1: to be in bed and asleep, And the little girl
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  Speaker 1: just sobbed and sobbed. But Mum, in her mind, I'm right,
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  Speaker 1: it's her bedtime. It's late, and so she used to
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  Speaker 1: power in her authority to force her to bed, and
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  Speaker 1: a short while later, this poor little toddler was sick
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  Speaker 1: all over the pillow and the mattress and the douner
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  Speaker 1: and the floor. But she was so scared of leaving
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  Speaker 1: her room again that she stayed in the vomit all night.
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  Speaker 1: And it wasn't until the next morning that this mother
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  Speaker 1: walked into the room and saw what had happened, and
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  Speaker 1: she felt terrible because suddenly she realized that she had
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  Speaker 1: been wrong. The night before, there was a father of
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  Speaker 1: a teenager. He had a fight with his daughter and
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  Speaker 1: they screamed names at each other and slammed doors and
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  Speaker 1: stomped feet, and the father actually got quite physical with
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  Speaker 1: his daughter. He hit her, he pushed her against a wall,
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  Speaker 1: and as we counseled together, I recommended that he'd do
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  Speaker 1: whatever it takes to restore the relationship, and he refused.
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  Speaker 1: He said, she started it with her attitude. She's the
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  Speaker 1: one that needs to apologize to me. I'm right, she's wrong.
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  Speaker 1: He needed her to refuse to apologize so that he
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  Speaker 1: could continue to be angry and justify that anger. He
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  Speaker 1: needed to wait for her to apologize or to refuse
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  Speaker 1: to apologize, because that was why he was allowed to
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  Speaker 1: be mad while ever she was doing the wrong thing.
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  Speaker 1: He could feel good about himself because he was the
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  Speaker 1: victim here. Hey, I'm not responsible.
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  Speaker 2: She is.
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  Speaker 1: She's the one that started it, and of course, as
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  Speaker 1: the victim, he justifies himself in calling her names, being prideful,
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  Speaker 1: and giving her the silent treatment because it's not his fault.
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  Speaker 1: She started it, and what does that do to her? Well,
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  Speaker 1: she feels victimized. He's my dad. Sure I did the
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  Speaker 1: wrong thing, but you would too if he was always
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  Speaker 1: treating you like that. And the cycle continues because she
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  Speaker 1: feels like that she behaves badly. Because she's behaving badly,
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  Speaker 1: he feels like that he behaves badly to her. She
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  Speaker 1: feels horrible, so she behaves badly, and it goes on
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  Speaker 1: and on and on. So let go of the attachment
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  Speaker 1: to being right. Instead, be curious, be caring, and be compassionate.
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  Speaker 1: After all, what matters most being right or having a
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  Speaker 1: relationship with someone you love. I teach my kids that
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  Speaker 1: there's four steps to every apology, and we should all
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  Speaker 1: memorize them. First, say sorry. Second, explain why you're sorry. Third,
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  Speaker 1: describe how your action affected someone. Fourth, ask forgiveness. Am
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  Speaker 1: I go like this, I'm sorry. I got pig headed
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  Speaker 1: and I refused to listen and it made you feel
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  Speaker 1: like your feelings and your perspective didn't matter. Will you
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  Speaker 1: forgive me? Apologizing isn't always about being right or being
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  Speaker 1: wrong either, by the way, Sometimes it's about saying I
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  Speaker 1: value this relationship more than I value my ego, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm willing to do what it takes to make this
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  Speaker 1: relationship right. It's amazing what statements like that can do
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  Speaker 1: to make your family happier. And remember, be over to
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  Speaker 1: the possibility. Like I said, that you might be wrong,
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  Speaker 1: because if you like me, it happens more than you
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  Speaker 1: might like to admit. Now, based on what we've just shared,
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  Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. Does this inspire you
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  Speaker 1: this idea or does this idea frighten you? Have you
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  Speaker 1: ever thought about how your need to be justified means
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  Speaker 1: that you can't be wrong It has to be the
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  Speaker 1: other person. I know it's a kind of a heavy topic,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: but I'd like to know what you think. Leave your
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: answer at Justinculson dot com, slash podcast, slash eleven. As
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: in the number eleven. I'm really interested to hear your
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: thoughts up next three minute therapy with a mum who
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  Speaker 1: has told a big lie to her daughter.
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  Speaker 3: Parenting is the most important thing we will ever do,
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: so it's important that we get it right. But with
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: so much pressure, demands and advice, it's hard to know
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: what our children really need. Using the very best scientific
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: research and then turning it into an easy to read
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: book and CD, What your Child Needs from You helps
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: you connect with, understand, and teach your children in meaningful ways.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: What's your Child Needs from You by Doctor Justin Coulson
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: is the parenting book that offers the solutions to make
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: you a better parent and help your family to be happier.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Available in paperback or CD at Happyfamilies dot com dot AYU.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: So in today's three minute Therapy, I've got an email
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: that well, it's a big challenge, a mum writes, Hi,
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  Speaker 1: Doctor Justin. I'm divorced and my six year old lives
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  Speaker 1: with her dad. He recently got married, but my daughter
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  Speaker 1: does not know about our divorce. We live in different cities,
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  Speaker 1: so we told her that we have jobs in different
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  Speaker 1: cities and that's why we live separately. How can I
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: tell her about her second parent? She's so confused. What
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: should I explain to her? I'm so confused and upset
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: about how I can make her understand the whole situation.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: My ex doesn't understand how to explain this to our child?
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  Speaker 1: Please help? This is my response. It's a bit of
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: a tough one. First thing I thought as I read
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: this request was the famous couplet from Marmion. You may
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  Speaker 1: be familiar with it. What a tangled web we weave
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  Speaker 1: when first we practice to deceive. It seems that we
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  Speaker 1: live in a world where people are well. I think
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  Speaker 1: Doctor House said it best. You remember the House TV
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: show Everybody Lies. We live in a world where everybody's lying.
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  Speaker 1: There's a regular deception everywhere we turn, and the reasons
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: are many and varied. But it seems to me that parents,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: in particular, light of their kids a fair bit. The
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: reasons that I see parents like with their kids usually
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: fall into a handful of pretty obvious categories. We're trying
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: to protect our children from info that might hurt them,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: or we're trying to manipulate their behavior. You know, if
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: you don't be a good boy, Sanda won't come that
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: sort of thing, or we're hiding things from them, like
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: when they ask what are you eating and we quickly
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  Speaker 1: swallow the chocolate that we were sneaking and we say nothing,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not eating anything at all. So these responses often,
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  Speaker 1: not always, but often they're well meaning, but they're not
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  Speaker 1: what our children need to hear from us as their parents.
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  Speaker 1: So my suggestion is pretty simple, tell her the truth.
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  Speaker 1: Here's five reasons that honest accounts. Number One, children whose
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  Speaker 1: parents light to them are shown in research to be
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  Speaker 1: significantly more likely to lie. We set the example monkey
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  Speaker 1: see monkey do. Second, telling lies deprives children of the
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  Speaker 1: opportunity to grow and develop through the adversity that we're
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  Speaker 1: protecting them from by lying. Now, we don't need to
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  Speaker 1: do a whole data dump and tell them the whole
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  Speaker 1: truth about everything in one massive load. They need us
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  Speaker 1: to deliver the truth in age appropriate ways, but they
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  Speaker 1: need us to tell them the truth, and lying is
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  Speaker 1: only going to offer short term relief. Third, lies can
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  Speaker 1: actually create worse anxiety and pain for the child than
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  Speaker 1: being told the truth. Let me put you in your
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  Speaker 1: child's shoes for a moment. Motivation for this mum has
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  Speaker 1: naturally been to protect her daughter. But how confusing has
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  Speaker 1: this situation become? And when she does see one of
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  Speaker 1: her parents being what she deems is unfaithful to the
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  Speaker 1: other parent by spending time with the new spouse, what's
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  Speaker 1: she going to be thinking. So while there might be
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  Speaker 1: some sort of short term protection from dishonesty, ultimately truth
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  Speaker 1: demands her dues. The anxiety and the confusion that come
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  Speaker 1: from dishonesty bring a burden that I think is much
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  Speaker 1: heavier than the short term alleviation of pain might justify. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: here's the fourth reason that honesty counts. If your child
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  Speaker 1: lied to you, then you would probably punish your child
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  Speaker 1: for that dishonesty. So aside from the fact that research
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  Speaker 1: shows that punishing children doesn't work, especially when we punish
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  Speaker 1: them for lying, we expect our kids to tell the truth.
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  Speaker 1: We need to do the same thing. We wouldn't accept
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  Speaker 1: dishonesty from them. We should have the same standard applied
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  Speaker 1: to ourselves. And finally, at fifth, and I think perhaps
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  Speaker 1: the most poignant of all, When we lie to our children,
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  Speaker 1: we're actually lying to ourselves. We might say I'm lying
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  Speaker 1: to protect my child, but the truth is we're lying
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  Speaker 1: to protect ourselves. We don't want to see the look
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  Speaker 1: of pain in our child's eyes. We don't want to
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  Speaker 1: see that look of betrayal as we tell them something
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  Speaker 1: that we know is going to hurt them. So we're
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  Speaker 1: acknowledging in the very essence of our lie that we
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  Speaker 1: don't want to deal with the distress or the anger
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  Speaker 1: or the confusion that they're going to feel if we're
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  Speaker 1: honest with them. So our lives are actually betraying our
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  Speaker 1: personal pride. They teach our children that it's not okay
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  Speaker 1: to be vulnerable, they teach our children that they can't grow,
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  Speaker 1: and they harm our children. So what do we do
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  Speaker 1: about all of this? Well, our children don't need to
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  Speaker 1: hear the full truth in all its uncensored glory for
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: every question that they have. They need us to be truthful,
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  Speaker 1: but they need us to respond in an age appropriate way.
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  Speaker 1: So let's say a couple is separating. Parents should be
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  Speaker 1: truthful about this with their children, but the degree of
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: disclosure regarding the separation depends on how old the child is.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: You probably don't want to discuss issues that might injure
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: a child's relationship with one parent or the other. If
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  Speaker 1: infidelity or pornography or gambling or drugs are the cause
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  Speaker 1: of the split, then the parents might divulge they're separating
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  Speaker 1: because they didn't treat each other well and leave it
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  Speaker 1: at that. The extent to which additional information is shared
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  Speaker 1: might change as the child gets older. We don't have
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  Speaker 1: to share everything with our kids. We just need to
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  Speaker 1: tell them the truth in age appropriate ways. So I'd
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: like to hear from you. Go to Justin Coulson dot com,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: slash podcast slash eleven, like the number eleven and tell
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: me do you agree with me? Should we always be
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: honest with our children in age appropriate ways? Or do
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: you think that it is okay to tell a few
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: white lives here and there are even a couple of
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: big porky pies to protect them. Leave your answer at
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: happy families dot com dot a U slash podcast slash eleven.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: That's happy families dot com dot U slash podcast slash
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: eleven and I'll be back in a second with a
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: parenting idea for making your family happier and a couple
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: of really exciting announcements.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Doctor Justin Coulson is one of Australia's most respected parenting voices.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: His seminars have equipped and empowered thousands of parents to
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: make their families happier. But sometimes getting to a parenting
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: seminar can be tough. There's work and other commitments. Then
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: there's the issue of the children and babysitters. Now you
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: can watch one of doctor Justin's seminars from the comfort
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: of your own home and at a time that works
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: for you. Sit in on one of doctor Justin's parenting
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: seminars as he takes you from confusion to clarity. You'll
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: learn how to build a strong connection with your children,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: how to really understand them, and how to get discipline right.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: What your child needs from you. A seminar from doctor
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Justin Coulson. Download this ninety minute seminar now or purchase
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: the DVD at happy families dot com dot Au.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's pretty much all there is for the podcast today,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: but I do want to make mention of a couple
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: of quick announcements. First off, if you've got to happy
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: families dot com dot Au, you'll be able to check
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: out my brand new program and book, twenty one Days
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: to a Happier Family. You can download the book and
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: the program and get started right away on making your
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: family happier in twenty one days. If you just want
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: to get the book, it's available online, or you can
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: go into pretty much anywhere that sells books and get
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: a copy. It's published by HarperCollins and it is everywhere.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Exciting news as well is that it's being released in
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: the US and the UK later this year, so even
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: overseas people will be able to get hold of it.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Twenty one days to a Happier Family. It's my brand
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: new book and I'm thrilled to be able to tell
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: you about it. Plus the program all online at Happy
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Families dot com dot IU. Second announcement. Throughout the next
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: couple of months, I'm going to be traveling and speaking
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: all over the place, off to New Zealand. I'm in Melbourne,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I'll be in Adelaide, Sydney, Brisbane, and a handful of
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: other places around around Australia. Lots of my seminars will
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: be open to the public, so check out my Facebook
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: page for updates if you'd like to see me live
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: and work out how to make your family happier, and
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I'd love to come to your place as well. I
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: speak in schools and it functions all over the country,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: so if you'd like me in your community chat with
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: the decision makers. Send me an email info at Justincoulson
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: dot com. I'd love to come and make an impact
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: speaking about parenting and wellbeing for staff, students and families. Okay,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: let's wrap this up. I've got a fun and simple
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: idea for you to get more out of family time.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: One of the things that my kids love to do
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: is go cardboard box sliding. It's really simple. We grab
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: a big cardboard box, we sit on it at the
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: top of a really big steep hill, and we slide
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: down the hill. Hill has got to be steep. If
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: it's not steep enough, then you'll pretty much just stay still.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Or you can put strips of cardboard on the grass
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: and slide your piece of cardboard over the top of
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: all of those pieces of cardboard. But a good steep
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: hill is best. You won't believe how much fun the
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: kids will have and you'll have fun as well. It
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: might be something that you can try this weekend. Well
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: that's pretty much all we've got time for this week.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. If you have any questions that
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: you'd like answered, go to Happy Families dot com dot
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: you slash questions and I'll do my best to answer
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: you in an upcoming podcast. You can leave an email
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: there for me, And if you've enjoyed this episode, you
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: can find the outline and the resource li in the
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: show notes at happy families dot com dot. I use
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: slash podcast slash eleven as in the number eleven. And
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: if you think that the podcast has made your family happier,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: or if you think it could make other people's family happier,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I'd be stoked. If you visit happy families dot com
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: dot I use slash podcast slash eleven, you'll find a
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: pre populated Twitter or Facebook post that you can share
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: with your friends and your followers, and you can get
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: the word out about the podcast, or you can rate
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: it on iTunes. It's your ratings that determine how likely
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: it is that people will discover the podcast. The ratings
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: at what increase the visibility of the podcast and help
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: other people to find out how I can help them
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: to make their families happier. And quite frankly, I want
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: to make this the best parenting podcast in the world.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I need your ratings on iTunes to be able to
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: do that. Please please do that and subscribe on iTunes
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: as well, well that's it for this week. I'll have
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: another podcast ready to go for you a bit in
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: a fortnight. We'll be talking about five ways to know
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: if your relationship with your children or anyone in the
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: family is in trouble. Till then, remember you don't have
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: to be the best parent in the world. You just
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: have to be the best parent in your children's world.