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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Corruption of Compliments: How Flattery Ruins the Successful 5.6.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Today's something incredible and talk about flattery, Zia davar
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  de beru. This is something that's very
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  clear in all times. Kirov hassarim vamelahim O
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  kobalei hovat most officers and kings and people of great
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  positions of power, you bezema de Gashiu in any level that they
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  are, in other words, modern day, any level of government.
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  Nirshalim, what makes him stumble, finish her team and
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  become corrupt by Avoir Khanupattim Shantahan because of
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  their officers and their workers and their servants.
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  Khanupatt giving them flattery. What corrupts the king?
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  The flattery that he gets from his people.
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  What corrupts an officer modern day?
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  What corrupts A politician? The sense of flattery that they
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  get from the people around them are kings.
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  This is what's wild about that is you're talking about people
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  who are already in positions of power, talking about people who
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  climbed the ranks. They did a lot to get here.
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  Yet when they're here, when they reach their finish line in their
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  minds, then they get corrupted much more than they weren't
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  corrupted before. And that is because they had
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  others flatter them. People tell them you're amazing,
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  you're great, you're so gifted. You should run for president.
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  That ruins them. You know what you can become.
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  You should be mayor. You shouldn't allow so and so he
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  may you should be mayor and then they have all these different
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  things in their mind and that ruins them.
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  How can me share now brochure and therefore a person whose
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  eyes are in front of his head. You have his presence to include
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  your Teddy's ahead. He'd be very careful.
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  VIN analyzed by my saying me should have said the control of
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  the Cabellet check before you make them your friend.
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  People who want to become your friends people who are trying to
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  chummy chummy up with you get close to you.
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  You're doing well. Let's say right guy is doing
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  well financially and suddenly I had more friends.
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  Be careful with those friends. Some of the people that do give
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  you advice you know I want to just call you and give you an
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  idea or the Bakita Alberto or someone who wants to get
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  involved in working the house. OK, the man she's ahead being
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  like hello my stuff. She more careful on who advises
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  you, who befriends you, who gets connected to you.
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  When you are a popular person, when you are a powerful person,
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  when you are a successful person in any area, you started to
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  notice you have more people relating to you and connecting
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  to you. Be careful who they are.
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  Analyze it, dissect it, debate it and decide if you're going to
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  choose them as your friends. More important than the food or
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  the drink that you choose to eat, the food to drink you about
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  to eat might be dangerous. It's only dangerous for your
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  body. It might not be healthy.
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  It might be so good for you. Might be.
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  You know I have some germs. Doesn't matter.
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  That's only destructive to your body if you eat the wrong foods,
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  eat fatty foods, eat unhealthy foods.
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  OK, We all know you got to watch you eat.
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  You got to watch your diet. You got to watch your health.
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  True. Be more careful, said Messiah.
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  There's no exaggeration here. Be more careful on the friends
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  you choose, and you should be careful on the foods you eats
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  because they're friends, the advisor of those who talk to
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  you. Now, I would say be careful
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  about your friends because they might give you bad ideas.
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  No, be careful about your friends because they might bloat
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  your ego and they might build you up to something that you're
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  not and create the false persona that we've been dealing with.
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  Be careful about people around you giving you sketch flattery,
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  The yes men, those who push you, you go, you get involved.
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  You should fight him. And people tell, you know
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  people, they themselves don't want to get involved in the fray
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  at all, but they tell you shouldn't allow them to take
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  advantage of you. You just tell them otherwise.
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  Oh, really? How do you get involved?
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  No, no, no, no. Stop at me.
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  Oh, clearly it's not for you because you don't want to get
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  into fight with so and so. But you want me stick my neck
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  out because you want me to believe from your end how great
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  I am. But you're not getting evolved,
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  right? Why?
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  Cuz all these are sketch. You just want me to hear you say
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  that I'm great, which means you want to be the one who flatters
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  me. And that's right.
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  There is a dangerous world to live in.
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  Be careful the friends you choose, not because they're
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  going to give you bad information or bad advice, but
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  because it's dangerous to be flattered and they built up to
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  something more than you are. Your friends can destroy you,
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  not simply in the means of bad influence.
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  Take us off the Shreya Shalom of that way.
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  No in the means of propping us up to be someone that we are not
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  telling us. I agree.
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  You are a member every time you got into some sort of fight and
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  someone in your corner said don't let them have it.
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  Don't let them. Don't sorry, don't let them just
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  run you over. Don't let them just get away
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  with this. You better tell them the truth.
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  You better tell them off. They don't know what they're
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  dealing with. I remember you.
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  You were so good in this area. You're going to let them do
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  this. All right.
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  This is how people do. They want to get up and hug you
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  and death. All right, The people do this
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  and they and they, they, as they say, they push you along.
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  They make and what are they doing?
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  Why? Why?
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  They want you to know about them and they're yours.
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  They give you compliments. They push you.
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  They're behind you. They want to be perceived as the
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  friends. Those are in your corner.
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  But in your corner, there's not a mean.
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  They're taking the punches. They just thought, you know, the
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  guy with the suit. What does the training look like
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  in boxing? I don't know where the suit, but
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  he's in the corner, comes over to the ring.
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  I don't know where I remember which movie I remember, but the
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  guy comes over to the ring and he bends down to the box and the
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  corner sky is bloody, He's peeing, He's got one eye bigger
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  than the other. And he tells don't let him do
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  whatever. I'll give him the undercut and
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  just keep fighting. You keep fighting, you keep
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  fighting. Thank you very much, Mr.
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  Sudanti. Right.
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  I'm going to get the bunches. I'm going to get this guy's.
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  The guy can get the concussion. You're not getting any
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  concussion. He is.
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  He's getting the big, you're getting the money.
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  You have to. So that is literally what our
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  friends can be to us. Our siblings, our friends, those
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  are in our corners. It's great to have, you need to
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  have people in your corner, but those are the people who cause
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  major fights. Those are the people who create
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  major issues in life. Family issues, parents, the
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  children issues, children to parents.
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  All these things come from the people in their corners and a
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  person's got to be careful. Who are you listening to?
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  Are you allowing them to blow up your your perception of
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  yourself? Are you allowing them to build
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  up your ego? It's very nice to feel good.
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  It's great to feel good. It's great to be told I should
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  never be abused by other people. I'm with you.
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  Don't be abused. I got it.
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  But that does not mean I'm telling you.
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  I realize when I get advice on people to be strong and usually
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  for me is dangerous, unhealthy advice and it makes me make a
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  mistake when I just do my thing. And even if that means getting
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  run over a little bit, all right, Even if it means people
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  talk if they mean they're stronger way than they should.
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  If I just eat it and handle it and do my way, whatever my way
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  is, I'm a passive guy and technically so I'm used to that.
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  I can handle people telling you if I can handle it, it's not my
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  problem. I can't handle being Mr. Tough
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  Guy. Doesn't work for me.
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  She's not my makeup, but my advisor, so to speak.
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  Those who are in my corner, who are they themselves?
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  Then I get evolved in this fray. They're just telling me, don't
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  let them take advantage of you. You should talk.
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  Tell them off. You should tell them how to do
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  it. That never works for me.
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  It never works. Why?
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  Because it's not my makeup. It just bloats my mind to think
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  I am, but I'm not. This is the problem of flattery.
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  It's the humongous problem in our lives.
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  And a person has to stop and say I have my own way of doing
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  things. I'm fine.
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  I I'm perfectly good with other people.
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  I have a very good way with ever poor people.
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  I'm socially good at this. I can talk to people.
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  I don't need others telling me how to be strong.
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  Oh, if I just taking advantage of you, someone's emotional
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  taking advantage of you. No ignore them.
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  You do your thing, you're perfectly fine constantly.
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  My mind is my father, technically speaking, was one of
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  the most passive people around. Technically speaking, I feel
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  like the business world's a little bit different on that.
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  I understand what it's a financial dealing.
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  I'm not telling you to allow someone to run you over
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  emotionally if they want talking to people.
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  Yeah, right. I you got to put it into each.
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  No one's saying allow them to get a raw deal in business
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  because of his mindset. No, but they're just telling you
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  don't. They're just telling you don't
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  allow so and so to tell you. Oh, he's taking advantage of
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  you, He's stealing from you. He's a bad guy.
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  You do your thing. You see problems, you say
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  problems. You hear advice to keep away
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  from a person, keep away from that person, but don't allow
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  advisors tell you how so and so is being tough on you.
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  You can handle tough. You can handle strong.
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  You haven't made-up right. This is a mail over a point.
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  You're right, David, you're obviously right.
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  When it comes to a financial dealing, you should listen to
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  the advisors. You should avoid those who take
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  advantage financially from you. It's a different story.
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  But overall conversations, be perfectly fine doing your thing
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  and don't have these friends according to what he's telling
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  you. Be careful who your friends are.
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  Choose them wisely, not because of the issue of influence, but
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  rather because of the issue of them encouraging you to fight.
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  And you have your way, you have your means.
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  You don't need a bloated ego, you're perfectly good with your
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  self-confidence. You don't need their version of
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  your ego because it's not like they even believe in you.
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  It's just these people wanting to seem like they're with you
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  even though they're not. Start with this right?