Latest / Sober Readings / An Unbroken Tradition
Transcript
- 10 28Reading: Welcome back to Sober Readings. I'm Scott. I'm glad you're here with me today. Let's share some analytics about Sober Readings for the past seven days. The top country is Austria, with 50% of the listeners. So thank you very much for listening in Austria. Today we're gonna read from Daily Reflections 24 Hours and a third reading from Grapevine. Before we get into the readings, let's begin like we always do with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference. From Daily Reflections an unbroken tradition We conceive the survival and spread of Alcoholics Anonymous to be something of far greater importance than the weight we could collectively throw back of any other cause. And that comes from the twelve steps and twelve traditions. How much it means to me that an unbroken tradition of more than half a century is a thread that connects me to Bill W and Dr. Bob. How much more grounded I feel to be in a fellowship whose aims are constant and unflagging. I am grateful that the energies of AA have never been scattered, but focused instead on our members and on individual sobriety. My beliefs are what make me human. I am free to hold any opinion, but AA's purpose, so clearly stated fifty years ago, is for me to keep sober. That purpose has promoted round the clock meeting schedules and the thousands of ingroup and central service offices with their thousands of volunteers. Like the sun focused through a magnifying glass, AA's single version has lit a fire of faith and sobriety in millions of hearts, including mine. And as for me, I am truly grateful and honored to be a small part of something as wonderful as Alcoholics Anonymous. The traditions of AA have been passed down through generations of men and women who came before me. People who struggled with the same disease, found a solution, and made sure that solution would be available to people like me. There's something really comforting about knowing that I don't have to figure this thing out on my own. I trust AA. I trust the program, and I trust the experience of those who have walked this path before me. As the big book tells us, rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those words give me tremendous hope and confidence, but they also remind me that I have a responsibility to do my part. I can't just belong to AA. I have to live its principles, work the steps, respect the traditions, and carry the message to others. And when I'm doing those things, I feel like my sobriety is in good hands. Today's reading from 24 Hours. The AA Thought for the Day. What other rewards have come to me as a result of my new way of living? Each one of us can answer this question in many ways. The total selfishness is gone and more cooperation has taken its place. Understanding has taken the place of misunderstanding, recriminations, bickering, and resentment. And that's followed up by a short poem. There are homes where fires burn and there is bread, lamps are lit and prayers are said. Though people falter through the dark and nations grope, with God himself back of these little homes, we still can hope. And in today's prayer for the day, I'm praying that I may not ask to see the distant scene, that one step may be enough for me. And what that reading made me think of is that One of the greatest rewards that I've received in working the program, and that is that I'm slowly becoming a better person, not just a a sober person. I'm learning to be less selfish and more selfless, to think about what I can do for others instead of always thinking about what's in it for me. I'm learning to be more understanding and compassionate toward people rather than immediately judging or criticizing them. Because I've come to realize that everyone is fighting battles I may know nothing about. And perhaps one of the biggest rewards of all is that I've learned how to face life on life's terms. I don't have to run away from uncomfortable emotions, difficult situations, disappointment, fear, and sadness anymore. For so many years, alcohol was my escape from anything I didn't want to feel or deal with. Today, thanks to AA, I understand that emotions aren't something I need to hide from. And problems aren't something I need to drink over. I can face whatever life throws at me, knowing that I have a higher power and a program and a fellowship to help me through it all. I'm certainly not perfect at any of these things, but that's the beauty of this program. It's about progress and not perfection. And every day I stay sober and continue working on myself as another opportunity to become the person God intended me to be. So let's get to today's final reading, which is from the Grapevine. And this short story is titled The Right Door. She found herself crying in the Vancouver Intergroup office with no idea how she got there. It was the day that changed her life. I spent most of my life feeling like I was always on the outside looking in, face pressed to the glass, watching everyone else live life like it made sense. People went to work, showed up for their kids, kept their promises. I just couldn't do that, and I didn't know why. I would try, God how I'd try. I'd suit up, smile, show up. No matter how hard I worked to act like a normal person, I'd always end up drunk. Sorry and deeply ashamed. Failure was my constant companion. I knew I could do better, be better, but no matter how hard I tried, I always fell short. It was incredibly confusing. That voice in my head was relentless. It reminded me that I was stupid, worthless, never good enough. The more I failed, the more that voice settled in. It got harder and harder to believe I was anything but the disaster I kept proving myself to be. Then came the day, just another day, nothing big or dramatic. I had met a guy at a bar a few weeks earlier and decided I was in love. Obviously I moved him in after two weeks. Because it was Kismet, right? The chaos that followed was wild, tragic and somehow intoxicating. I thought I How could I ever live without this? One night, after what was just another night out, I came home and he told me he was leaving because I had a drinking problem. the irony. So naturally I went to the bar, had a drink, and regrouped to find another him, because there's always another him. The next day I was walking down a busy street feeling like an animal trapped inside one of those hamster balls, running and running but going nowhere. A cloud of self-loathing was consuming my thoughts. How could you be this stupid? Why can't you do anything right? Suddenly, as if I had just woken up, I found myself standing inside the Vancouver Intergroup office of Alcoholics Anonymous. I had no memory of how I got in there. All I know was that I was surrounded by those darn pamphlets. I started crying, a deep soul-shaking cry I hadn't felt in years. The manager came out of his office to see me broken and weeping, and he quickly brought out a woman from the phone room who sat with me, offering a half cup of coffee, just enough so I wouldn't spill it with my trembling hands. She didn't lecture me, didn't judge me. Instead, she shared her own experience, her struggles, her feelings of worthlessness, and how she found hope. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I might be okay. She asked if I'd be willing to go to a meeting that night, and something in me said yes. A couple of members came to pick me up. Cheerful and lighthearted, they had something, but I just wasn't sure what it was. One of the ladies held my hand the entire time, and though I don't remember what was shared at that meeting, I remember how I felt. Maybe I don't have to live like this anymore. When they asked if there were any newcomers, the woman nudged me and said Elbow right in my ribs, and I stood up for the first time ever in a meeting and said, My name is Christina, and I'm an alcoholic. In that moment, it was like a puzzle piece snapped into place. The door I had so feverishly been looking for had finally opened. I had so much more to learn about the disease of alcoholism, but this was my moment. Something shifted deep inside me. I knew in my heart of hearts I was an alcoholic. So when people ask, do you believe in God? I smile because no GPS, no plan of my own could have led me to the inner group office. Something greater was guiding me all along, cracking the door open just enough for me to step through. And that comes from Lake County, British Columbia. And that's such a great story. It just reminds me that some of the most destructive conversations I have are the ones that take place inside my own head. You know, my mind has a way of creating stories about what other people are thinking, what might happen, or why something went wrong, and before I know it, I've convinced myself those stories are the truth. I can turn a small problem into a major crisis simply by believing something that has absolutely no basis in reality. That negative self-talk can lead to fear, resentment, anxiety, self-doubt, all of which can threaten my peace of mind and ultimately my sobriety. So today I'm learning to challenge those thoughts, separate facts from the stories I invent, and remember that just because my mind tells me something doesn't mean I have to believe it. And that's gonna do it for today's episode of Sober Readings. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope something I said or something you heard in the readings stays with you and helps you along your way. If you'd like to be a guest on Sober Readings and share your experience, strength, and hope, or read through a story with me and share your thoughts on it, there's a link in the show notes below to send me an email. And you'll also find a link in the show notes to my website, soberreadings.com, where you can learn more about Sober Readings and me and stay connected to the show. And also, if you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, go to the support page on that website and scroll down and find that button that says drop a dollar in the basket. So again, thanks for spending a few minutes of your day with me. Be good to yourselves, be good to others, and remember, we only have to do this one day at a time. So just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day, everyone. And as my friend Larry says, best day ever.